 |
| Tony the Tiger Jersey Day in the Nation! |
MINIONS ON PARADE AT GALESBURG DAYS!
“STRYKER GUY” SIGHTING AT THE KLUTCH!
SOUTHERN ROUTE THIS WEEKEND!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IN AUGUST!
ROAD ETIQUETTE ADVICE FOR THE NATION!
Belo News
June 21, 2014
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was a bundle of anticipation! On this day he would be returning to his Field of Dreams, also known in the nation as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!
After not being able to ride the course due to the early start to the “chip & seal” season on the course and then doing the Tour de Taylor the following week, Sharkman was ready to get back to his beloved home course.
It was another cool start and arm warmers were in order as the old Shark launched from the Cove and saw Rainman, in his civvies, watching his dog in the yard. The young rider had a paper to write and couldn’t “come out and play.” However, he will be graduation this year with his MBA and will no longer need to spend Saturday’s writing papers or studying!
Congratulations Rainman!
 |
| Virgin Minion, Dirt Dog buys the koffee! |
As the old Shark pulled in, he noticed an familiar face in the crowd. One of his former “Dances with Dirt” team mates and fellow Kellogg employee was making his first ride as a Minion! Of course, Sharkman immediately named him “Dirt Dog” due to his being one of the famous Kellogg Dirt Dog’s that did the Dances with Dirt Race with Sharkman!
Immediately after welcoming Dirt Dog, Sharkman met another virgin Minion named Eric. For whatever reason, Sharkman quickly pounced on the name, “Eric the Red” for the new rider, who is also an Indiana grad, where red is THE color!
Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Dirt Dog and Eric the Red!
 |
| Virgin Minion, Eric the Red! |
The former Dave, who is now known as the Mighty Monk (he stated he would share how he got that name over an adult beverage to any Minion who wanted to know) stated he needed to use the comfort facilities and was told they were behind the school. After being left behind in the “comfort” facility at the Tour de Taylor, he made sure that everyone reminded the old Shark not to leave without him!
Bissell Boy showed up and quickly apologized that he forgot his Tony the Tiger Jersey, but still managed to photo bomb one of the pictures as the Nation posed for the paparazzi in their Tony Jersey's during the pre-race interviews.
Sharkman gave a brief, but extremely inspiring, talk on ride safety and the importance of STAYING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE YELLOW LINES! Sharkman stated that anyone crossing the yellow lines would be DQ'ed from any sprint. Sharkman also asked each Minion to look around and pick out at least 2 Minions to watch to insure they were on the train as the Nation stopped to check at Stop Signs. When the peloton starts to get in excess of 15 riders, and with Minions jumping on and off the ride, it is getting increasingly difficult to live the code!
 |
| Zickman shows off his "Pops" Jersey! |
The Skipper was back in attendance and after taking part in the photo up, and a listening to Sharkman in rapt attention, he ordered the Minions to click in and head out!
The Klutch looked packed as the Nation rode by, waving at the early morning koffee group and Andrew back behind the counter.
Dr. Dave jumped on as the Nation circled the Klutch and noted that people were getting set up for Greater Galesburg Day!
MMmmm...Sharkman thought they were there to cheer the Nation on.....
As the Nation headed north, they saw Gazelle Girl and that other guy, and shouted out their salute to the “Sweetheart of the Peloton!”
Just as Sharkman was readying for his assault on the first sprint, which he would have easily taken, he had a flat tire! Oh, the
 |
| Polar Bear in his Froot Loops Jersey with Cheese! |
“Mechanical” echoed throughout the Kalamazoo Valley and Sharkman jumped to the side of the road where Easty was quick to assist our intrepid hero. The Mighty Monk and his wingman, Matt (who still needs a name) were also on hand to offer verbal assistance (and take photos).
After a quick change, a puff of Baby Powder (Sharkman packs his tubes in Baby Powder to make them less susceptible to pinches), a whiff of CO2 and they were off again.
As the Nation made their way past G Ave., Sharkman counted the riders at 24!
The Nation played nice through the Col de Twin Lakes before things got fast after the Yorkville Church. The Skipper, trying to get his legs back, reported to the Sharkman that he would be taking the cut off and would meet up again with the Nation at Rt. 43.
 |
| Bissell Boy forget's his Tony Jeresey, so he just Photo Bombs the paparazzi! That's him in red behind the riders. Way to go, Bissell Boy! |
The Pirate was praised by the Sharkman for his dedication to making sure the Nation “Leaves no Minion Behind!” Way to go Pirate!
The Nation headed up the col de Norte and on to the Holy Rollers. As the Nation pulled a bit ahead of some of the stragglers, Sharkman had his SECOND flat tire on the same wheel!
What the hey.....?!?
This time, Bissell Boy was the “Minion on the Spot” to assist our hero with an extra tube and hands strong enough to roll the fairly new tire back on to the rim.
 |
| Sharkman changing his tire in record time with the help of Easty! |
B-Rod and Polar Bear came back to check, as good Minions, to check on their hero who was no where to be found when they arrived at Frona's.
Sharkman came rolling through Frona's, with Bissell Boy, B-Rod and Polar Bear escorting him and shouted out for the Nation to follow! The old Shark wanted to get back to the Klutch before a third flat! As all bikers know, flat's come in three's! (more on that later!).
After the Digital Divide, the Nation formed back up into the customary pace line where the speed picked up substantially.
As the Nation motored south, they came across two riders, one of which looked mysteriously familiar! It was none other than the legendary Minion, Styker Guy and his lovely wife, Mrs. Stryker Guy! As he had predicted earlier in the week, he intended to “ride around the lake.” As the Nation knows, he broke 5 ribs only a couple of weeks ago and the Nation was pleased to see him back on his steed!
After a quick shout out, Stryker Guy stated “he would see everyone at the Klutch!” and the Nation continued on.
As the Nation bore down on the GGG Spot, Gazelle Girl took a lead out and it looked like she was in her familiar run to achieve the pleasure of achieving the triple G spot sprint!
As the Nation started to cheer her on, it became increasingly obvious that one rider was not aware of her persistence in achieving the GGG spot, as well as the Nations desire to see her make it!
 |
| Gazelle Girl in her Tony Jersey! |
Oh, the humanity!
As one Minion's was heard to mutter in the peloton......... “It's always a Virgin......”
After everyone had a cigarette and took a deep breath, the Nation formed up for the final assault on the finish.
Sharkman and Pirate took it out early, right after turning on to 37th and then Boatman came forward and put in a massive, Yeoman like pull at the front before Polar Bear and the Mighty Monk came in for a pull. Sharkman was pleased to see the Nation strung out a bit as they approached the last hill before the finish.
As the nation bore down on the final ascent, Mad Dog came forward, making a quick move to the front and opening up a pretty good gap. No one seemed to want to make the move to bridge the opening and as everyone seemed to wait for someone else to go after him, it became to late!
Many of the sprinters, sensing they were missing their opportunity, quickly moved to cover the widening gap. Mad Dog fought to hold on as Polar Bear, Ironman, Zickman, Boatman, Tan Man and others went after him.
Alas, it was too late! Mad Dog held off the stampeding Nation and took the tape with Ironman in second and Zickman and Tan Man tying for the 3rd spot on the podium.
 |
| Mr. & Mrs. Styker Guy come in to sign autographs! Good to see you! |
The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the riders zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and the paparazzi!
It was Galesburg Day's and the crowds were huge as the Nation paraded by to their coveted Klutch, where Andrew had brought his Mom and Dad in to assist with the crowds! Thanks Robin for keeping the kups full!
The Skipper bought koffee for Sharkman and actually delivered it to him as he took up his throne at the head of the table, while virgin Minion Dirt Dog bought a whole bunch of koffee's for the Minions waiting in the line that went out the side door. Is this a great country or what?!?
Styker Guy and the lovely Mrs. Styker Guy arrived to sign autographs and talk to the press.
The main topic of discussion was the Minion Jersey and how well the sales have gone. As Belo News goes to press, the count of Jersey's, T's and caps is as follows;
- 14 Ts
- 12 caps
As the festivities wound down, Sharkman told Mad Dog, who needed to go to B-Rod's truck to get something, that he was heading back and would keep going in hopes of getting home
 |
| The Klutch was rocking as Skipper places his jersey order! |
You won't want to miss this week's edition of the KK-TdG, when the Nation heads south again due to the Gull Lake Triathlon. Sharkman will again lead the “Tour of South Central Kalamazoo County” as Team Minion – Bissell Boy, Zickman and Dr. Dave – take on the Triathlon in the Team Event!
Go Minions! Make the Nation proud! Belo News hopes to have a report on their win in next week's edition!
This Saturday, June 28, 2014
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be sure to come to the start, as the Nation will be heading south!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED DATE SET!
AUGUST 16, 2014!
Belo News
June 25, 2014,
Gull Lake, Mi. - It is that time of year again! Time for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred! Oh, the humanity!
Gazelle Girl and Zickman are getting things ready to host the Nation on the Third Annual Bloody 'Ell and you can be a part of this classic event. The ride starts at the Zick Estate with bloody Mary's and then the riders head up to Hastings to have lunch and perhaps a beer or two, at the Waldorf, before heading back to the Zick Estate! It can't get better than this ride!
Also, Gazelle Girl will be taking orders on that classic jersey from last year, so if you didn't get in on the jersey, get a hold of Gazelle Girl and order yours now! Deadline for ordering the jersey is July 10, so don't wait! These jersey's are the envy of the peloton and you need this jersey in your stable of cycling apparel!
So mark your calendars and let Gazelle Girl know your coming, Bunkie!
CYCLING ETIQUETTE IN KALAMAZOO COMMUNITY
Belo News
June 18, 2014
Kalamazoo, Mi. - (Editors Note) – As mentioned during last weeks ride, Kevin Patmore sent the attached email to the Kalamazoo Bike Club to discuss Bike Etiquette and the perception people are getting from some of the group rides. As Minions are aware, one of the Nation was confronted about the “riders all over the road” when the person had crested a hill. As the Nation continues to grow, Minions need to be ever mindful that we share the road and we:
- Ride
two abreast when we hear “car back.”
- Stay
within the Yellow Lines and do not cross over into oncoming traffic.
- Do
not circle in intersections or jump across the road to wait. We
stop at the Stop Sign and wait for the Nation, moving to the right
side of the road.
- When
there is a mechanical, move OFF the road COMPLETELY.
Mr. Patmore writes an excellent letter and has asked group rides to share it with their riders, so here it is!
Subj: Cycling etiquette in the Kalamazoo Community
Paul,
I
am in the process of getting a hold of everyone who rides in groups or
organizes group rides in and around Kalamazoo after a complaint about
a group ride that headed up Riverview Drive last night. I am also a
cyclist who rides solo, with friends, and with organized groups. I
have ridden the WAM twice now, just participated in the Tour de
Taylor as well and competed in the Race for Wishes last year. So, my
interest is in creating a good, positive image as a community of
bicyclists that I enjoy here in the Kalamazoo area.
Last
evening, as a cycling community, we did not do ourselves any favors.
The story as relayed by my wife was that a good sized group of riders
was heading northbound on Riverview just north of D Ave. The group
was well behaved for the first third, riding two wide and riding on
the broad shoulder of the road. The back 2/3 was not as conscientious
and was spread out 4 abreast and taking the entire northbound lane.
My wife said it took her 1 ½ miles to pass the group all traveling
at just under 20 mph. She said the line of cars behind her was 20
deep.
We
all know the law which says 2 wide riding as far right as is
practicable. We also know that as cyclists, we can be a pain if we
are not easy to get around on the road. We push the “share the
road” message, but we must share it back as well. We, as cyclists,
have to be almost “saintly” with respect to sharing the road if
we are to build a lasting and positive relationship in our community.
From my non-cyclist friends, we are poorly understood, they think
riding bikes is for kids, that we look goofy in our team kits, and
that we are just plain nutty when we ride in the rain. They tolerate
farm equipment because “we live in a farming community”, but they
have little tolerance for being stuck behind a group of bicyclists
who are “hogging” the lane while I am trying to get home.
The
work to be done in improving the relationship belongs to us as
cyclists. The only way for us to do this is to be on our best
behavior. We have to be the ones to offer the olive branch to the
automobiles that use the same space as we do. This particular story
does nothing to build a positive relationship with the non-bicyclist
community we share the road with. Unfortunately, this is not the only
story I have heard in recent months. I have friends who live at the
top of the 6th Street hill and they
positively despise us. I am working on them, but it hasn’t been
easy.
I
am sharing this with you in hopes that at the start of rides we can
continue to reinforce the law, the rules of the road, and etiquette
that will build some good will with our community. I have been in
contact with Pedal Bike and AEBike about this as well. Anything that
you can do to spread this message through the KBC would be
appreciated as well.
Best
regards,
Kevin
Patmore
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
No comments:
Post a Comment