THE NATION RULES BARRY-ROUBAIX!

Sharkman toast to Barry-Roubaix!

WHAT? NO RAIN? MAYBE A LITTLE……

CHILLING AT THE WALDORF!

NEW "HAMBONE 
DOUBLE!"

YETI BOY REPORTS IN!

Belo News

October 19, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - After the details of the Barry-Roubaix Ride went out last week, the Command Center here at Belo News was flooded with questions……

The first email asked "How many miles will it be?"  Then, another, "mountain bikes or cross bikes?" and another, "Really? Rain or shine….?"

The Editors went crazy fielding questions and thinking it would be a big crowd for the first ever, mighty Minion Nation Barry-Roubaix Ride!

Then on Friday night, the call came in!

Hambone listens to the ride leader, Tow Truck!

Gazelle Girl had blown out a knee riding and wasn't going to make it and with Toe Setter also out, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was unsure of the route!

Oh, the humanity!

As dawn broke wet and misty over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was deciding what clothes to bring and pouring over his route map after printing it off the Internet.

With the car loaded, the Sharkman was feeling good that he was getting an early start so he could stop at McDonalds if he needed the restroom, and he could be there to greet the brave Minions who were coming out in the rain to ride.

As Sharkman backed out of the Shark Cove drive, the rain began to spread across the windshield. Our hero had this "feeling" that he had forgotten something, but couldn't think of what it could be….

It was after a few miles that Sharkman realized what he had forgotten.  The map!  He had been "pouring" over it on the kitchen island and that is where it still was! 

Oh, the humanity!  

Bissell Boy goes over the stats while Brewman goes
over the beer list!

Without Toe Setter, he wasn't sure who would know the route he had studied, so it was back to the Cove.

So much for having extra time, eh?

As Sharkman drove north, the rain seemed to be tapering off and when he checked MyRadar on his cell phone it looked like the bulk of the rain was just to the south of Hastings.  Could the Nation get the ride in before the rain continued to the north?  

When our hero pulled into the K-Mart Parking to he was overjoyed to see Bissell Boy, Tow Truck, Brewman and Hambone unloading their steeds.  Hambone, a relatively new Minion, had just gotten married two weeks previous but was not demonstrating any lack of cycling prowess from the nuptials!  He and was ready ride!

A toast to Gazelle Girls blown out knee! Get well soon!

Tow Truck was on his cross bike and thankfully stated he was pretty sure he knew the course once he was on it. He also mentioned that as soon as he saw the ride on the Minion schedule, he circled the date and wanted to do it.  Tow Truck loves Barry-Roubaix and seemed to be an expert on the route! 

YES! A miracle!

Tow Truck just needed to get on the route!  

So Sharkman pulled out the map and Bissell Boy realized that they just needed to get to Green Street, about a block away, and head west. Sharkman, always wanting to be safe, stuck the map in his rear pocket anyway, just in case…….

As the Nation headed out of the parking lot all they could do was wonder if the rain would hold off or would the sky open up at any moment. Oh, the suspense!

About 3 miles out of town, the Nation turned onto the first section of dirt road and all Sharkman saw was the hills.  And they kept on coming!  Sharkman kept pestering Tow Truck, "How many hills are there?"  "Does this ever end?"  "Are we at the finish yet?"

Tow Truck, the ever calm leader just shook his head and told the Shark to be patient.

On his cross bike, Tow Truck was able to stay well ahead of the Nation, scouting out the road ahead and making sure they were on course.  Sharkman was amazed there were roads (if they could be called roads) like that in Michigan and at times, it seemed they were in another world of back woods, sand, hills and more hills.  One section was simply two track rock and sand with nary a house to be seen.  Sharkman kept hearing the theme from Deliverance in his head as he pedaled his dorsal off to stay with the group.

Newly married Hambone! Congrats
young Minion!

Since the old Shark doesn't have a computer on his bike, he also kept asking, "how many miles now?" to which he only got replies about not worrying until they got to the "Wall."

The "Wall?"

Yes, the "Wall!"  A section of gravel/dirt road that was short but almost straight up, or at least seemed that way.  Oh, the humanity!  And then more hills!  Oh, double the humanity!

Bissell Boy, Brewman and Hambone were making short work of the hills behind Tow Truck as the old Shark hung on for dear life, but was having a great time!

As the Nation arrived back at Cook Road, Sharkman was feeling good, only to learn there was a lot of "road" and "hills" left on Cook Road!

As the Minion train got close to town, the rain started.  It made the Nation grateful it hadn't rained for most of the ride.  Though the roads had been wet, it had been for the most part a fairly dry, comfortable ride.

The rain started in earnest as the Nation rode down the Champs le Hastings waving at their adoing tofosi and got back to K-Mart. The Nation scrambled to get into dry cloths and head to the Waldorf and though the tofosi and paparazzi wanted to take photos, the Nation was more interested in staying dry.  

Good thing the Nation never needed the map Sharkman took along.  When he pulled it out of his jersey it was wet and runny from Shark sweat (Yeah, discussing, eh?)!

Sharkman simply hustled into the Sharkmobile and tooled his way to the Waldorf where he headed to the Men's Room to change into his cotton sweats, giggling at the movie quotes on the wall on the way down to the restroom ("It's not a purse, it's a satchel! Indiana Jones wears one!" - the Hangover).  

Sharkman later mentioned to the Nation that his Buyers Guide and outdoor wear fabric expert Son in Law, the Great Moultini, had mentioned that after being out in the cold, nothing feels better than soft cotton on the body and man, that was so very true on this great day in the saddle with a wet ending to the ride!

The entire cast of riders found a table at the Waldorf and started ordering their adult beverages of choice, along with lunch.  The main discussion was on the ride stats, as everyone had brought in their computers and/or smart phones with the results.  An impressive ride;

34.18 miles

2100 ft. of climb

14 mph avg.

29.4 max speed

After devouring their meals, washed down with a couple of beers each, and signing autographs for their adoring tofosi, the Nation headed home in the now, pretty steady rain, with big smiles on their faces. 

What a ride!

Those smiles were because it had been decided this would become an annual event on the Minion calendar! Is this a great country or what?!?

See you next year at the Second Annual Minion Barry-Roubaix!

"HAMBONE DOUBLE!"

Reb, Hambone and Sharkman after "the Double!"

Belo News

October 22, 2013

Hastings, Mi. - The text message came in early on Tuesday morning from Reb, a sometimes Minion who had missed out on the Saturday ride because he had to coach his kids soccer games (yes, games in the plural) in the pouring rain on Saturday.

Reb wanted to know if the old Shark wanted to hit Barry-Roubaix again!  

What?  Again?

When the old Shark heard that Hambone was going and riding on his cross bike, Sharkman thought, "I can do it on my cross bike too!" plus, Reb only wanted to do the short course of 24 miles.

Still feeling the effects of Saturday, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, loaded his cross bike into the Sharkmobile and hit to road for the 12:45 p.m. launch from the K-Mart in Hastings.

Sharkman arrived first, followed by Reb, who would be riding on his dual suspension Canondale 9er, but no Hambone?

Hambone apparently took the wrong route from the Creek and would be late, so Reb and Sharkman did a few miles to warm up and wait for the errant Hambone.

Reb & Hambone at Barry-Roubaix finish!

As the two rode back into town, Hambone was on the road and heading out to meet them.

Sharkman felt the hills seemed a bit easier on the cross bike than the mountain bike but the road also seemed a lot rougher on his derrière, if you know what we mean…….

Hambone seemed to know the course pretty well and though the Shark was hopoing they'd miss the wall, it was not to be! With the warm up, Reb and Sharkman still ended up doing 29.10 miles!  But no rain!

Again, the average speed was 14 mph and though perhaps a bit less climb, the old Shark was feeling the burn!

It was decided that this second ride would become known as the "Hambone Double" in honor of the newly married guy coming out twice to ride Barry-Roubaix!  

Is this a great country or what!

YETI BOY REPORTS IN FROM MYANMAR!

Yeti Boy and Yeti Girl in Myanmar!

Belo News
October 17, 2013

Yangon, Myanmar - As some Minions are aware, Sharkman's wingman, Yeti Boy, has been touring Myanmar (formerly Burma) with Yeti Girl.  Because this trip has interrupted his Iceman training he has been obsessing about getting his training in and also, making sure he beats Reb (see above story), his host for the race.  Yeti Boy has been entertaining his fans at home with periodic updates on his travels to the orient.  In this missive, sent by iPhone, he laments his concerns about racing against Reb and the meaning of life.

From the iPhone of Yeti Boy hizzelf......

"I climbed 1764 steps (barefoot) this morning to the Buddha figure.  He say "don't worry about kicking Rebban's ass in bike race, slowly , slowly grasshopper. " OK, I say.  D 

Sent from my iPhone"

We are pleased to report that Yeti Boy and Yeti Girl returned safely last night and Belo News has learned that Yeti Boy spent the morning on the training bike at the Y this morning.  Ride on, Yeti Boy, ride on!

SEASONS END/THIS SATURDAY!

If you can't be good, look good!

Well, maybe......

Belo News

October 23, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - And so the season draws to a close……..

Or does it?

Though the season has traditionally ended with the Iceman, which is in a week, the old Shark plans to continue riding out at the Ft. until, at least the Deer Season starts, unless the weather is too bad to ride.

As Belo News goes to press, the forecast for this Saturday is not looking good.  However, the Sharkman will be at the trail head at the Ft. on Saturday's at 9:00 a.m. unless it is raining or has rained enough the previous day/night to gum up the trails.  

So if the weather is O.K., come on out to the trail head and see if the Sharkman is there!