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| The mighty Minion Nation! |
BISSELL BOY RETURNS!
THE WEATHER BRINGS OUT THE NATION!
BISSELL BOY CONSPIRACY CONTINUES?
YETI BOY DOWN! YETI BOY DOWN!
KOFFEE RETRACTION?
Belo News
May 18, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright over the Shark Cove, our hero threw back the shark bedspread and padded out to the shark kitchen to get his beloved coffee going. The Sharkman was excited as several Minions had informed him they would be riding over with him on this beautiful, sunny morning.
As he was sipping his second cup of coffee and getting ready to put on his kit, his Shark iPhone sounded out the theme from Sherwood Forest indicating a text had arrived. Who could it be? The weather was perfect, little wind, certainly a Minion could not be canceling? Or could they?
Earlier in the week, Wildman had texted the old Shark stating he planned to ride from Galesburg to the Cove and ride to the start with the Shark Cove contingent. Said he wanted to get a "massive" ride in before taking a long business trip. Sharkman had advised Wildman that launch time was 7:30 a.m. - SHARP but that if he ran late, they'd pick him up on the road, sure that the venerable Wildman would make the early call!
Au contraire, mon ami!
The text was, in fact, from the Wildman and stated, "Couldn't get my sorry ass up in time, I'm a wimp!" to which Sharkman responded, "Yes you are!"
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| B Rod sporting the new Bell's Jersey! |
However, as the garage door creeped up, Sharkman noticed life at the Rainman residence as Mad Dog came riding up. Though Sharkman and Mad Dog did have to wait on the Rainman's preparation, they did launch just after 7:30 and were met on the road by Nike Boy, who was once again, nicely accessorized in his black and white Pearl Izumi kit with neon green socks to match his neon green Sidi Road Shoes. Belo News may have a new, and for real, Style Guy!
With the Minion escort, Sharkman cruised to the start were riders were massing for the start. As is the policy of Belo News, when the ride numbers get over 15, it can become very difficult to identify all the riders and on this fine, sunny morning, 28 riders were on hand to get things going either at the start or jumping on during the ride.
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| Nikeboy doing the Sun Salutation! |
Nikeboy was caught on film doing his "pre-ride yoga" routine "downward dog" or the "sun salutation" or whatever and looking dapper in his kit for his loving tofosi.
Some Minions were making their season debut Minion ride like Kid Gallagher, Chico, who was back from his world Rugby tour, and a long time Team Taylor Rider, first time Minion rider, Mo Pink!
Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Mo Pink, great to finally have you in the peloton!
Everyone was pleased to see the "Real" Bissell Boy back in the peloton, sporting the new Team Bissell Kit. As a matter of fact, the new kit quickly called out the Wildman, who was in the
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| Welocme Mo Pink! |
old Bissell Kit, hence easily identified as yet, another impostor!
Sharkman started the train slowly, working the crowd like a Chicago politician and joking about the big turn out.
Is there anything more fun than a bunch of riders cruising down main street Galesburg? Is this a great country or what!?!
Luann was at her post cheering the Nation on with a look of worry in her eye as she counted the mass of cycledom riding by.
B Rod lead our hero out before Hossman took over and the speed started to pick up.
Ironman jumped into the mix as the nation headed north, as did Dr. Dave, followed by Gazelle Girl who was greeted by the Nation in the usual manner with a resounding "Gazelle Girl!" that was heard around the countryside!
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| Bissell Boy returns to reclaim his identity! |
Kid Gallaher, showing early season form, came up to the front to take the venerable Sharkman out to the honorary Sharkman sprint and he was feeling good enough to take the speed up to 28 mph!
Sharkman did the count as the mass of Minions crossed G Ave. and the total came to 27, but at the first curve in the run up to the sprint before the col de Twin Lakes, Kid Doster joined on!
The now 28 Minions blew apart on the col de Twin lakes, coming back together for the Rt. 89 crossing and the dreaded Kountry Klub section of the ride.
Tow Truck was in strong form once again and took the lead out with the Nation on his wheel. Again, the sprint really didn't get going until after the turn to Rt. 43, but when it got going, it was every Minion for themselves!
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| Chico back in the Nation! |
The Nation was firing on all cylinders on this fine day and there was no waiting at the top of the col de Norte and the train hung together until Kid Gallagher and Ox jumped off near their homes and the Nation got into the Holy Rollers and on to Frona's.
An attempt was made after the Digital Divide to form up a pace line, but any resemblance to a pace line was purely coincidental.
Sharkman, getting bored at the back, attacked at the GGG Spot, but that only caused the Nation to pick up the speed as he watched Mad Dog and Gazelle Girl fight it out for the win.
As the Nation headed south, Sharkman saw Hossman go to the front to take his usual massive pull. The old Shark hung on to Hossman's wheel as he watched the Nation forming up in his rearview mirror. Several riders came up to the front and then Iceman pulled over in front of Sharkman and told him to hang on! It looked as though good ole Iceman was going to try to put the old Shark in position for a possible win! Tow Truck came forward and pulled for a while as did some other riders.
The old Shark felt he was in great position as the Minions headed up the final ascent to the finish. Iceman indicated to him to get ready just as the Nation put the pedal to the medal and ended any chance the Sharkman might have in the sprint as he and Iceman got boxed in.
The Nation has been pretty good about holding lines the past few weeks, but there were a couple of riders who were moving across the lanes during the sprint. One rider cut across in front of the Sharkman and caught his wheel and as B Rod commented later, he thought for sure the old Shark was going down. However, the Sharks wheel got a grazing blow from the side and he was able to get control without taking B Rod out.
CHALK TALK - Remember that in the final sprint you cannot move back and forth across the path of other riders and must hold your lines! This means that you should never come back into the peloton when you get outside, or try to cut across the peloton when you are boxed in. If you are boxed in, you may have to just ride it out.
Iceman, who was able to pull away from the pack, took the Cannon at the line with Airman taking the third spot on the podium!
Average speed on the ride was 19.9 mph!
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| Cloud Girl, Airman and Maddie! |
As Sharkman approached the finish line, he saw the legendary Zickman at the finish trying to video the finish! He was surrounded by a number of fans who were a buzz over his wooden ride. Unfortunately, Zickman got so busy showing off the wooden bike, he didn't get the video of the astounding finish!
Oh, the humanity!
The tofosi and paparazzi went wild as all the riders flooding the Champs le Galesburg!
The Nation was excited to see the now famous Zickman's wood bike leaning up against the Klutch as they approached and the Klutch was loaded with celebrities when they arrived!
Zickman even bought Sharkman his koffee! Is this a great country or what?!?
As the riders walked in they were greeted by their own Cloud Girl and new daughter Maddie! They had come in to sign autographs with Maddie's Dad, Airman, but Maddie seemed to be getting all the attention. What a cutie!
The Klutch was jumping with all the riders who stopped for their Kup of Joe and they kept Luann busy behind the counter as the press fired questions and Sharkman played with Maddie!
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| Sharkman and Maddie playing for the crowd! |
Unfortunately, Sharkman cannot make this weeks ride, but the KK-TdG goes on! Hopefully someone will write something up (and give the old Shark a break!)!
This Saturday, May 25, 2013
MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!
Show your patriotism and wear you best RED, WHITE and BLUE kit!
Launch Time 8:30 A.M. - SHARP! (the Nation will move to 8:00 a.m. in June)
Be there!
YETI BOY DOWN! YETI BOY DOWN!
Belo News
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| Yeti Boy wondering where he is! |
May 16, 2013
Ft. Custer, Mi. - Belo News is sad to report that our intrepid hero's wing man, Yeti Boy, took a header during a mountain bike ride at Ft. Custer this past week and sustained a pretty bad concussion along with some road rash.
Sharkman reported that he and Yeti Boy, along with new Minion, Reb, were cruising through Grannies Garden when the three got separated. When Sharkman came out of Grannies, followed by Reb, they stopped to wait for Yeti Boy and when he did not come out for a couple of minutes they headed back in. They did not go far before they found Yeti riding out with a face that looked like it had been through a meat grinder along with another rider who stated, "he took quite a header!" That rider went on and was not available for comment. Amazingly, Yeti Boy wanted to keep riding and Sharkman and Reb had to convince him to go back to the trail head where they realized he had a concussion when he asked them how they got there! Well, that and the huge bump on his forehead.
It is theorized he hit his head on the handlebars between his helmet and his left eyebrow and the road rash may have come from the stem of his handlebars or when he went down as he only had a bit of dirt on his shoulder and a bruise and big bump on his right arm. It did not look like he had fallen at speed but he had no recollection of the crash or even going out to the Fort. Actually, he kept reporting that he had chipped a tooth and "that sucks!" for the next few hours.
Sharkman took Yeti Boy to the emergency room for a CAT Scan and an Xray on his arm and was very relieved to learn he was O.K. but that it would be a while before his short term memory returned.
Sharkman also learned from the doctor (ANOTHER CHALK TALK) that when someone get's their bell rung like that, you have about 2 hours to get them in for medical attention otherwise they either die or live. The only way to know is a CAT scan and when in doubt, take the person even if they do not want to go.
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| Get well Yeti Boy! |
The Nation sent Yeti Boy a "Get Well" text from the Klutch and Belo News is very pleased to report that he is doing well and will be back on the bike as soon as the rain stops!
The Nation will hold a spot in the peloton for you Yeti Boy!
Get well soon Yeti Boy!
Belo News Apologizes to Kia Pet!
Belo News
May 22, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - Belo News would like to offer an apology to that lovable rascal, Kia Pet. Last week we mistakingly reported that Iceman had bought koffee for our intrepid hero, the Sharkman when, in fact, it was Kia Pet! Iceman had stated pre-ride that he was going to buy koffee for the old Shark but Kia Pet beat him to it at the Klutch, so our apologize and let it go on the record that it was actually Kia Pet. Iceman tried to buy again this week and got beat by Zickman! But don't worry, the Sharkman says everyone will get a chance to buy him koffee at some point this summer!
BISSELL BOY CONSPIRACY?
Belo News
May 22, 2013
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| Wildman as Bissell Boy? Conspiracy! |
Galesburg, Mi. - The Bissell Boy impersonator controversy continued this past week when yet another rider showed up trying to "be like Bissell Boy" despite the fact that the real Bissell Boy was in attendance. Attorneys from Team Bissell Boy immediately filed, yet another, protest with the Commissioner of Cycling. Additionally, stories began to emerge about the possibility of a conspiracy in these series of impersonators as each week, it seems to be a different rider including one rider who was reporting in from Europe? Coincidence? Belo News thinks not!
Are these riders contacting one another attempting to coordinate these attacks? Belo news will not rest until they get to the bottom of these allegations, conspiracy's and reports!
Frightening thought, eh?
THE PIRATE REPORTS IN!
Belo News
May 19, 2013
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| The Pirate from Spain! |
The Pirate
Valls, Spain - Hope the Minions had wonderful weather, because it was cold as hell and rainy here in Spain. But true to the Minion ways, it did not stop me from exploring the Spanish country side. Yesterday's ride netted 52 miles and 1200 feet of elevation.
Today was 66 miles and 2400 feet elevation. Instead of that warm brew from the Koffee Klutch, I am sucking down another bottle of Rioja Vino!! (You go Pirate!)
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| New jersey? |
Note: I did bring more than one jersey! It’s the shorts that are getting a bit stiff! (More information than the Minions might have cared for….)
As the Brits says………..“Pip Pip Cherio!!!!”
TOUR DE TAYLOR JUNE 15, 2013
Belo News
May 11, 2013
Galesburg, Mi. - Last year was the inaugural of the Tour de Taylor ride and several Minions, including Sharkman and Lava Girl took part. This is a fund raiser for Team Taylor and their quest to raise funds for the Make a Wish Foundation and the WAM ride coming up in July. Many of the Nation are also members of Team Taylor and our own Sharkman has ridden with the team on the WAM three times.
Because of the close relationship of the mighty Minion Nation and Team Taylor, there will be no ride on June 15, 2013 so the Nation can take part in this great ride!
Unfortunately, Sharkman cannot ride this year due to a family obligation in Illinois, but he is encouraging the Nation to go to the attached site and sign up today. Last year many of the Nation rode the 62 mile ride together and reported having a great time followed by an incredible catered lunch. There are also 12 and 31 mile courses.
If enough Minions are interested Belo News will list at time so that the Nation can ride together so watch Belo News for more information.
Be there!
MOTOR CITY BIKE RIDE JUNE 22, 2013
Belo News
May 14, 2013
Detroit, Mi. - Detroit, Mi. - Yet another opportunity for the Nation is the Motor City Bike Ride on June 22, 2013 that Belo News has been promoting the past few weeks. A close friend of the Sharkman has asked to post this great charity ride for those who might want to make a trip over to the east side of the State to enjoy some Motor City hospitality! This ride is limited to 150 riders so if you are interested, don't wait. All the information is available at;
WANT ADS:
Looking for a new pair of wheels? Want to go fast and look good doing it?
Well, here is your chance, Bunkie!
One of the Minions has a pair of pretty sweet Zipp wheels for sale for $900.
Take a look at these baby's!
If you are inteseted in these baby's let Sharkman know and he will put you in touch with the seller!
