Pirate turns 60 but rides like he's 20!

RAINED OUT, OR NOT?

THE PIRATES TAKES VICTORY ON HIS 60TH BIRTHDAY!

B-ROD BUYS!

TUESDAY NIGHT PIZZA!

LAST ROAD RIDE OF THE SEASON THIS SATURDAY! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

September 22, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Things looked pretty bleak at the Shark Cove as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, poured over weather charts under the green glow of the Shark Radar.  It was pouring rain when he threw back the Shark Bed Spread and padded to the Shark Weather Room concerned about the sound of rain on the Cove roof.  The radar was not re-assuring…….

The Commissioner of Cycling hates those days when the weather isn't easy to predict.  Cancel the ride and the sun almost always comes out, go ahead with the ride and the Minions get soaked.  

Though it did look like there was a break in the rain, it looked like it would be very short lived.  Sharkman, needing to post a cancellation at least an hour before start time so that the Nation knows, was under the gun to get the cancellation out so at 7:30 a.m. the decision was made to cancel the ride.

Sharkman, at weather central immediately got a response from Bissell Boy stating "good call." 

Yeti Boy also sent a quick note wanting to know if Sharkman was up for a ride later in the morning if the rain stopped.

Sharkman then noticed that the sun was breaking through the eastern clouds, but the radar still showed rain heading in from the west, out over 131 just west of Kalamazoo.  He told Yeti Boy he was heading down to the basement to ride his trainer.

When Sharkman came back upstairs from his workout, it was pouring rain once again and he felt justified in his call. He then checked his email and there was a note from the Green Hornet stating "38F and snow up here in Wisco - we're riding!!! Suck it up Sharkman!" 

Oh, the humanity!

However, it was still pouring rain when the old Shark headed out to the Western Michigan Bronco game and he felt good about the call.

When he got home from the game, there were two emails.  One from Squeaky, the Style Guy, and one from the Pirate!

Yes, four Minions showed up to ride!  The old Shark didn't know whether to congratulate them OR have them committed, but here are their stories;

The Pirate:

Although you canceled, there were four who showed up for this historic ride.  Is this a great country or what?  

As I hauled my sorry butt out of bed, I notice that there was this bright Orb in the eastern sky.  Throwing my bike in the car I made it to the starting line with B-Rod, MadDog and Squeaky biting at the bit for a fast and furious ride.

There was a four way tie at the honorary Sharkman first sprint, so the decision was settled that our beloved HERO took the first sprint!!

The pace began to increase when Squeaky finally got into the top ring with and incredible 21.5 mph (do you believe that??) well we were there so no one can dispute us!!!

MadDog had some bad luck with not one but two flat tires.  The decision was to ride down 37 Street which was the right decision.  Riding on smooth blacktop was like riding on glass.  The final sprint was led by B-Rod with Pirate on his wheel, Squeaky tried to pass, but in the end the Pirate would not be denied on the birthday ride winning by several bike length!!  

Mrs. Pirate surprised him by bringing balloons and signs for him at the Koffee Klutch!  

Thanks B-Rod for the free coffee!

Pirate

Style Guy!

Squeaky, the Style Guy:

You missed it. 

I think I counted at least 25 - would you believe 4 riders, and I think 5 squirrels who joined along the way. 

But not a drop fell until after the ride ended. I was warm with my winter gloves - and so ends another year for me. (Editor's Note - Say it ain't so, Squeaky!)

As far as I remember I was at least 3rd in every sprint! :-) 

I will let another of the great writers fill in some of the other details.

Take care feeding all the little sharklets until next spring.

Squeaky - the Style Guy

(Editors Note - Thanks for the write ups, gentlemen, and nice ride.  But like the NFL, the Commissioner of Cycling is sticking with his call…..of course, he also has no other choice!)

This Saturday, September 29, 2012

Last Road Ride of the Year!

Launch Time 8:30 A.M. - SHARP!

You won't want to miss the last ride of the year!  

Sharkman will be gone for two weeks, but hopes to start up Ft. Custer rides when he returns on October, 20, 2012 in preparation for Iceman!

So watch for future ride announcements later in October.

See you all on Saturday!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

Tardette and Stingray enjoying Arcadia Pizza!

Gala Arcadia Pizza Party!

Baby Sleeper Hold Demo!

Belo News

September 25, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - It was the final night of the Tuesday Night Chain Gang and 5 hearty Minions showed up to ride into yet another SSW wind!  Rainman, Hoosier Boy, Polar Bear, Stingray and Sharkman toed the line for the final summer ride.  Each of the riders rode a bit harder, knowing there was pizza waiting at Arcadia after the ride.  The five "horseman of the peloton" marched through Augusta, up the G Ave. Sprint, stayed together on 37th and returned all taking short, quick stretches and the front and bringing the ride in at 21.4 mph despite the strong SSW winds (it was Tuesday night alright.).

Wrongway and Lava Girl!

After the ride, Lava Girl, Tardette and Raindrop, as well as Yeti Boy and Wrongway joined the riders to celebrate the end of the season at Arcadia with beer and pizza.  Raindrop was a major hit as Yeti Boy demonstrated his "baby sleeper hold" on the young rider.  It was Raindrops first bike party and it completely wore her out.  Tardette reported that Yeti Boys "baby sleeper hold" worked so good that the little rider slept the entire night! Is this a great country or what?  Polar Bear bought the first round of drinks as a good time was had by all! 

Yeti Boy teaching "Baby Sleeper Hold."

The riders regaled each other with their riding prowess over the past season as Lava Girl and Tardette mollified themselves with beer and pizza.

And so another Tuesday Night Chain Gang Season draws to and end.  

But as all the Cubs fans say, "Wait till next year!"

"just get Raindrop positioned..."

"And that is how it is done, Rainman....."

BOFFO RETURNS TO GET THE MINIONS "MOVING!"

Free Breakfast!  What a great country!

IRONMAN TAKES THE DAY!

GRATUITOUS PANDERING?

OBERON JERSEY DAY PLUS RED HOOK?

ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT THIS SEASON! OH, THE HUMANITY!

TUESDAY NIGHT PIZZA! OH, THE HUMANITY AGAIN!

Belo News

September 15, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - This past Saturday's ride had a special surprise twist to it that made the day one to remember!

In addition to some great fall weather, sunshine and a good turn out, the mighty Nation got a free breakfast, courtesy of the First Clown of the peloton, Boffo hizzelf!

Little did our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, know, as he pulled his sorry dorsal out of bed on Saturday morning, that he would be treated to "Breakfast on Boffo" later in the day.

He and Lava Girl had been out dancing the previous evening and somehow, our hero got over served and was feeling a bit "out of sorts" as the shark alarm went off.

Oberon rules!

As our hero cleared his head as he rode over to the start with Mad Dog and Yeti Boy, lights flashing in the dark, wearing jackets, leg warmers and gloves to keep them warm in the 43 degree temps he didn't know what to expect. The three riders talked about the impending fall that seemed to be quickly approaching.

Sharkman commented that it might be difficult to see if anyone had their Oberon/Bells Jersey's on because of the need for warmth on this clear but cool day.

As the riders began arriving, Sharkman noticed a new rider who explained that he had been told about the ride by Ranger Rick.  The rider introduced himself as "Scarl" as he made it apparent that he brought his own nickname.  Had someone said something to him, Sharkman wondered….."  

Virgin Minion Scarl waits for breakfast!

Sharkman welcomed the "Virgin Minion" to the peloton!  Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Scarl!

Of course Ranger Rick pulled in later, along with Zickman, wearing a Red Hook Brewery Jersey claiming he didn't have a Bell's Jersey, along with Stryker Guy and Brewman in their Bell's Jersey's.  The Green Hornet, Bio-waste (who seemed to appear from thin air), Cannon, and Airman also joined on as the Nation pulled out of the parking lot and through town to the waves and cheers of Luann and the Klutch Tofosi.  

Riders jumped on and off throughout the ride, with Ironman and later, Falcon, wearing his Oberon Jersey, and Kid Doster jumping on as the train headed north, but alas, no Gazelle Girl to the pelotons regrets.  

Mad Dog and Cannon lead our hero out to the honorary first sprint and again, made the old Shark work way to hard.  At the post ride Press Conference, the season weary Shark mumbled that next season he is going have to either slow the young Minions down or give up the honor!

Yeti Boy pealed off at the Yorkville Church as he was heading over the the Michigan Game.

What Oberon Jersey?

As is the Nations routine, the peloton picked up speed as they moved through Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and up to the Rt. 43 Stop Ahead Sprint.

The ride was lively and the group pretty much stayed together through the second half of the ride, through the Frona, Inlet and G Ave. Sprint past Sherman Lake.

The Nation played fair on G Ave. and came together for the sprint, though a number of riders had dropped off as they rode around the lake.

Normally, in this section, someone heads out and the average speed goes up a few ticks, but on Saturday, no one seemed to want to lead out and a very orderly pace line formed up.

At the top of the final ascent to the finish, the Nation was still together and Sharkman was having concerns about a bunch finish just as Cannon shot to the front with a cast of thousands on his wheel!  

Zickman attempted to make a move, but due to some "splintering" near his crank that created some kindling, along with the speed of his cadence, a small wood fire broke out on his wooden bike and he had to slow to extinguish the blaze.  

Zickman was on fire all day!

Again, the Nation performed flawlessly in holding their lines as Ironman, Falcon, Kid Doster, Brewman and Mad Dog jumped on.  

Ironman was able to time his attack on the young Cannon perfectly and with Falcon on his wheel they went by Cannon to battle it out to the finish.

Ironman took the sprint with Falcon in second and Cannon taking the final spot on the podium.  Kid Doster and Sharkman were right behind the threesome.

As Ironman, Falcon, Cannon and Sharkman crossed over to the road to the Champs le Galesburg, a train came through separating the peloton and depriving the tofosi and Paparatzzi of seeing all of their hero's as the rest of the peloton rode straight to the Klutch.

Boffo wrestling up breakfast for the Nation!

Sharkman, hoping someone was ordering him a dark roast, bottomless Koffee, pulled up to the Klutch to see Boffo the Clown, in his apron, preparing an oatmeal breakfast for the mighty Nation!

Boffo has a business called Factory Free Oats and you can learn more at his website:

 http://www.factoryfreeoats.com/

Boffo was using some of the recipe's that can be found at the site and Sharkman and the hungry nation began porking the stuff down like they hadn't been feed in months.  Boffo told the nation that the fiber in the product was fantastic and that the oats would certainly get the Nation "moving!"

The affect of the oats on the nation became apparent as the sprint to the restroom was won by Sharkman, who elbowed out three Minions and a little old lady who was about to enter the restroom. Our apology to the nice lady....Oh, the humanity.

Where can I buy this great stuff, Boffo?

Zickman was really into it as you can see from the photos and the Nation began purchasing bags of the oats like they were absconding bags of jewels.  

Watching the Nation fill their jersey's with bags of oats was extremely entertaining for the Klutch crowd and as the Nation will see when they go to the site, you can order the oats on line.  There are also some stores locally that have the mills where you can purchase these delicious oats.

A big thanks to Boffo for a great breakfast and to Luann and the Klutch for letting the clown come in and serve the starving riders!

More please.....

It was a victory for America!  Is this a great country or what?

What will happen this week?  Who knows?

Come on out to ride and be a part of the Nation!

The season is drawing to a close and the Commissioner of Cycling has announced that the road season will end on September 29.  Our hero will be leaving for Ireland to tour and visit family on October 2 and be gone for two Saturdays.  When he returns, watch for a mountain bike rides from the Klutch on Saturday mornings so the Nation can prepare for the Iceman in November.

Minions chow down!

This Saturday, September 22, 2012

NEW TIME - NEW TIME - NEW TIME!

Launch Time - 8:30 A.M. - SHARP!

This stuff rocks!

Be there!

LATE BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN!

DUTCH CRASHES - BREAKS CLAVICLE!

Belo News
September 12, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - (Late Breaking News) As we went to press, Facebook was reporting that the self proclaimed handsomest guy in the peloton, Dutch, had crashed on a training ride and broke his clavicle!   Details are sketchy, and we hope to have more for our readers next week, but early this week he reports he hit a branch in the road and went down.  He has already started training on his indoor trainer.

Get well soon, Dutch and keep us posted on your recovery!  The Nation will hold a spot in the peloton for you!

DUAL EYEWEAR ROCKS!

Belo News

September 19, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Since we have plugged Factory Free Oats, Belo News also wanted to give some gratuitous endorsement to another product.  

As the Nation is aware, Sharkman has sung the praises of Dual Eyewear sunglasses since he got them earlier this season. The old Shark found an ad in Velo News about the new glasses and the price was right.  He also purchased extra lenses and prefers the amber lenses, particularly in the fall of the year when the sun is low.

These glasses have built in "readers" for those of the peloton who have attained an age of wisdom, but have also begun to lose their ability to see their own bike computers right in front of them and don't want the embarrassment of putting a three foot extender on the front of their bikes so they can read how fast they are riding (oh, the humanity).  

Several of the Minions have purchased these glasses on Sharkman's endorsement and also rave about them.  Actually, Sharkman informed one of the Bike Shop Owners about them and that owner has reached out to Dual Eyewear to see if he can stock them.

While Sharkman was out mountain biking with his son in law, in Santa Fe, the right temple piece snapped as he was putting the glasses on and he was unsure how they caught and broke. He was devastated. But he immediately sent an email to Dual Eye asking what he could do.  He sent the email on a Friday evening and on Monday morning, at approximately 8:20 a.m., he had a personal email from Kyle with Customer Service at Dual Eyewear telling him that they would put a new temple piece in the mail to him immediately!  When he returned to the Shark Cove, the piece was waiting for him, and it even had a new screw for the piece!

Is this a great company or what?  What great customer service!  A company that actually stands behind it's product!  How refreshing!

Dual Eyewear rocks!

If you want to learn more about these sunglasses, that have now become our hero's primary sunglasses, check them out at;

http://www.dualeyewear.com/

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

New Time for Next Week - Pizza at Arcadia!

Belo News

September 18, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - The wind was cranking, so the Nation knew it was time for the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang ride!

Or at least they thought it was!  

When Airman sent out the email reminder in the morning, only a few Minions had reported that they would be in attendance for the ride this week.  Later in the day, Sharkman had been out golfing and after getting caught in the rain and getting a text from the Battle Creek Police Department Nixle system, warning that wind gusts were reported to be at 37 mph with a chance of rain he re-thought riding.  The winds on the golf course were pushing putts off line (or at least that was the excuse Sharkman was using).

Sharkman sent out a note to see if the riders were still going to show before he suited up to ride downtown and everyone seemed to agree that the ride should be cancelled.

The Commissioner of Cycling has declared that Next Tuesday will be the last ride of the season and it will start at 5:30 p.m. because of daylight issues.

Tuesday Night, launch time 5:30 p.m. - Sharp!

Kellogg Headquarters Upper Parking Lot.

Since Sharkman has been riding every Tuesday night for the summer, Lava Girl informs him that he owes her some pizza, so after the ride next Tuesday, the riders and spouses and significant others will meet at Arcadia (approximately 7:15 p.m) at Arcadia to celebrate a great summer season of riding!  Don't make Lava Girl and Sharkman eat alone! 

Be there!

WHAT DO THESE TWO MINIONS HAVE IN COMMON?

Belo News Contest

September 12, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Come on, Minions!  There were only two of you who tried to figure out the connection between these two photos and who the riders are!  You can do better than that!  Both riders submissions were incorrect, though one was close.  

So here we go again!*

Name this rider!

It has been a while since we have had a good contest in the pages of Belo News, so get ready!  Here is your opportunity to win a chance to buy Sharkman a kup of koffee at the Klutch!

The following picture below taken during the Bloody 'Ell 'Undered three weeks  ago as one of our part time Minions checked out this unique bike.

The photo to the right was taken last a couple weeks ago as this Minion was checking ears of corn (we've been checking our corn on the cob ever since getting this photo in the news room) or something like that.  Actually not really sure.

So, the big contest is can you name the two riders and what is the common link between them?

Who is this famous rider?

If you think you can name the riders AND the common link, send your answer to Belo News and win a "chance" to buy koffee for the Sharkman!  Yes, you can actually buy our hero a kup if you can get the answer to this stumper!**

Oh, the humanity!

The answer will be posted in next weeks edition!***

(*Yes, we remembered, but might not next week. Enter now to win! (see rules below)

(**This contest is void where prohibited by stupid laws.  Employees of Belo News are ineligible to take part and should get back to work finding all available cycling news for the Minion Nation and should be happy they have a job even though it doesn't pay anything.  Dr. Dave and Kid Gallagher are not eligible to take part in the contest, but may buy Sharkman koffee any time they wish.)

(***Belo News is unable to guarantee that the answer will be published next week as we may forget……)

Brewman returns to the peloton!

SHARKMAN GETS HAT TRICK WHILE B-ROD WINS!

PIRATE RETURNS AND REPORTS ON THE U.S. PRO CHALLENGE!

HOOSIER BOY A TRUE IRONMAN!

NAME THAT MINION CONTEST!

OBERON JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

September 8, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke slowly over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, got a text message from Rainman.  

"Do you have an extra light for my bike? It is dark out there!"

Sharkman informed the young Jedi Minion that the force was with him this morning and Sharkman had the Mother of all lighting systems so, not to worry.  Actually, it is difficult to ride behind the old Shark when he has his blinking lights on and airplanes  have been known to attempt landings behind him in the dark!

Yeti Boy had also called to say he was riding over with the Shark but would then ride back.

As Sharkman got his lighting system ready, Yeti Boy and Rainman rode up as they got ready to make the trek over to the start.  As they left the Cove, in rode Mad Dog.  

Then they were four!

Game on!

As the four Minions made their way to the start, Sharkman lamented the end of summer and the fact that after Labor Day, the number of Minions in attendance begins to dwindle.  Yet our hero was optimistic that with the weather so nice, there still might be a good number of riders.

Style Guy, "Styling!"

As they arrived, B-Rod pulled in and then Squeaky made his appearance by promptly laying his bike down and laying down on the sidewalk for his stretches.  Always one to make sure he had the right gear on, he was sporting winter strength gloves along with a wool cap with assorted items stuck in his riding shorts. And it was 55 degrees!

Brewman arrived and all agreed it was good to have him back in the peloton.  He also reported that Brewboy was doing fine as well.

Ranger Rick and Kryptonite were next with those who hadn't yet seen the Rangers new Fuji gathering around for a good look.

Bissell Boy then pulled in and reported that none of the group were at the meeting place that they use and he was the only one!

As the Minions headed out, Mad Dog and Yeti Boy pulled off at the Klutch to head home as Luann waved her best wishes from the Klutch.

Just then, the Pirate appeared along with two friends from Cincinnati on a tandem, but apparently he needed a seat adjustment and told the Minions to keep riding and that he would catch up.

Of course, it is always dangerous to tell the mighty Minion Nation to go on and that one will catch up, as that gives them free reign to rock!

Rainman, then Kryptonite, then B-Rod lead our hero out, with Kryptonite finishing the last lead for our hero to get him to the first sprint.  Everyone was disappointed that the first lady of the peloton, Gazelle Girl did not join on in at her usual place.

However, as the Nation picked up speed in the Country Club section, Sharkman spotted Gazelle Girl up ahead!  To shouts of "Gazelle Girl" the nation reeled her in and she reported that she had been back with the Pirate and the tandem and that they had taken the short cut.  She had ridden ahead to tell the peloton that the Pirate was on his way!

As the Nation formed up at Rt. 43, they waited a short time for the Pirate and his friends to latch on.  The Pirate introduced the young couple on the tandem to the Nation as the group took off to the col de Norte.

The group seemed to splinter through the Bible Conference section but then came together at the top of the last hill.  Squeaky made a move to the front, followed by the Sharkman who attacked him from the back to take the Frona Sprint going away.

As the Minions formed up at Frona and headed to the Inlet sprint, Sharkman, yet again made a move to take the sprint and captured his second sprint on the day (three if you count the honorary sprint).

The Nation then headed south on 38th Street past Sherman Lake and Sharkman made yet another move to capture the G Ave sprint, giving him the Hat Trick!

The Sharkman was on a roll and having delusions of grandeur when, on 37th for the finish, B-Rod asked Sharkman, "do you want the final sprint? I can lead you out."  Sharkman quickly agreed but cautioned the sprinter not to ride him off his wheel!

As the fast moving train ascended the final hill, B-Rod was trying to find a good spot in which to make his move.  Gazelle Girl, Ranger Rick, Squeaky and others were up front when Gazelle Girl said she was pulling off to go home to do chores.

Sharkman, while waiting patiently behind B-Rod hoping he could stay with any move that he made, then saw Rainman bust out from the back of the pack making a humungus break away move.  Had he not skipped a gear that slowed the break, B-Rod may not have been able to respond.  

B-Rod knew that he could not let Rainman get a big lead or he would not be able to reel him in so he responded quickly to the move and took advantage of the skipped shift.  

Sharkman decided to try to stay on B-Rods wheel but he could not respond quickly enough.  

However, the break did give the old Shark a big enough gap to get away from the peloton  and as B-Rod pulled in Rainman and eventually passed hime, Sharkman was able to hold on to third place as B-Rod took the final sprint with Rainman right behind him.

Average speed - 19.3 mph.

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the few Minions who were left made their way to the Koffee Klutch.

Not many riders made it back for the press conference as it was only B-Rod, Rainman, Brewman and Sharkman who appeared for autographs and koffee.

The discussion centered around the end of season and how great the weather has been this year.

This Saturday, September 15, 2012 - OBERON JERSEY SATURDAY!

That's right!  Minions who own Oberon or Bell's Brewery Jersey's are asked to wear them for this weeks ride.  Let's see just how popular Bells is!

There may also be a "B" Group this week! Is this a great country or what?

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

The Pirate at Independence Pass

THE PIRATE REPORTS IN ON THE U.S. PRO CHALLENGE!

Belo News

September 12, 2012

U.S. Pro Challenge action!

Stoney Lake, Mi. - As previously reported in the pages of Belo News, the Pirate was also out in Colorado for the U.S. Pro Challenge and did a lot of riding with his Son while he was out there.  He also got a ride in with our own Bissell Boy and submitted the attached photos from the trip.  Looks like the Pirate had a great time!

Bissell Boy makes a move at the U.S. Pro Challenge

Is this a great country or what?

Hoosier Boy in this file photo

HOOSIER BOY BECOMES A TRUE IRONMAN!

Belo News

September 9, 2012

Madison, Wi. - Our own Hoosier Boy finally did his Ironman Triathlon in Madison (at least we think it was Madison), Wisconsin this weekend and Belo News is pleased to report that he did the mighty Minion Nation proud!

The perpetual motion machine we know as Hoosier Boy finished in 11 hours, 24 minutes and was 15th in his age group (out of 180!) and out of 2,800 participants (hard to believe they can get that many people to subject themselves to that sort of torture) our Hoosier Boy was 330 overall!  

Pretty darn impressive!  

It was a victory for the Mighty Minion Nation!

And to think, the Minions helped train him!  

OH, the humanity.

Belo News then conducted this in-depth interview of our hero:

When asked how he was feeling on Monday, he reported that he thought he may be able to tie his own shoes in a couple of days. 

When asked if he had another Ironman planned, he stated that he may take 2013 off and regroup for 2014.  

Good thinking Hoosier Boy, good thinking…..

He also sent the attached post that helps explain why triathletes subject themselves to this type of punishment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B03dFMG8nR4&feature=plcp

Hoosier Boy can now proudly say, he is a true Ironman!

Congratulations, Hoosier Boy!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

Belo News

September 11, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - One of the best turn outs of the year was found at the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang Ride!  

Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was the fact that there were only a couple weeks left in the season for this ride, but whatever the reason, 8 Minions showed up to look for a new season record.

Airman, Rainman, Stingray, Polar Bear and Tuesday Night Virgins Ranger Rick and Kryptonite, made an appearance along with the Sharkman.

With the number of riders, the peloton began sensing the possibility of a new season average speed record (To date record is 21.7 mph).

As the nation headed out on River Road, the Pirate jumped on and began giving some hard, long pulls at the front.

Stingray, coming back from some foot issues, peeled off in Augusta as the Nation moved on to the G Ave. hill.

Since Polar Bear and Ranger Rick were pulling off at Stoney Lake, they took some finishing pulls that took the chain gang up over the season average.

However, the early pace began taking it's toll as the riders hit Michigan Avenue. One rider had cramps, another backed off and it was left to the Pirate and Sharkman to try to get the finish record.  Despite a valiant attempt, Sharkman could only take short pulls and though the Pirate fought on, they could only mount a 21.5 average on the night.

As the riders straggled across the finish, they all agreed it was a great workout.

Only two weeks left in the Tuesday Night Season!

If you like to do pace line work, this is the ride for you!

Tuesday Night, launch time 5:45 p.m. - Sharp!

Kellogg Headquarters Upper Parking Lot.

WHAT DO THESE TWO MINIONS HAVE IN COMMON?

Belo News Contest

September 12, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - It has been a while since we have had a good contest in the pages of Belo News, so get ready!  Here is your opportunity to win a chance to buy Sharkman a kup of koffee at the Klutch!

Who is that Minion?

The following picture was taken during the Bloody 'Ell 'Undered three weeks  ago as one of our part time Minions checked out this unique bike.

This photo below was taken last week as this Minion was checking ears of corn (we've been checking our corn on the cob ever since getting this photo in the news room) or something like that.  Actually, we're not really sure what he is doing......

So, the big contest is, can you name the two riders and what is the common link between them?

Who is this Minion and what might he be doing?

If you think you can name the riders AND the common link, send your answer to Belo News and win a "chance"(there may be multiple winners) to buy koffee for the Sharkman!  Yes, you can actually buy our hero a kup if you can get the answer to this stumper!*

Oh, the humanity!

The answer will be posted in next weeks edition!**

(*This contest is void where prohibited by stupid laws.  Employees of Belo News are ineligible to take part and should get back to work finding all available cycling news for the Minion Nation and should be happy they have a job even though it doesn't pay anything.  Dr. Dave and Kid Gallagher are not eligible to take part in the contest, but may buy Sharkman koffee any time they wish.)

(**Belo News is unable to guarantee that the answer will be published next week as we may forget……)

On Wisconsin!

CONTROVERSY RULES ON COLLEGE GAME DAY!

DR. DAVE TAKES THE FINISHING SPRINT!

ZICKMAN HAS A NEW SPONSOR!

Belo News

September 1, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn made it's slow move over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, automatically knew it must be September, as it was still dark when he jumped from his Shark bed.  Lava Girl got up with him and said it was too dark to ride to the start, to which our hero stated, "O, contraire!"

Sharkman dug out his bike lights and once mounted on his trusty Litespeed steed, he was off to the start as the sun began its slow rise over the Cove.

As the old Shark worked his way out Watkins road, he spotted another rider ahead of him who turned around to greet him.  It was none other than Mad Dog, who thought the old Shark had already left and he had gotten out ahead of him.  Sharkman is always glad to have someone along for the ride over. Mad Dog commented that he had seen the blinking light behind him and thought it might be the Sharkman.

The two riders arrived at the start early and the Minions started piling in.  First B-Rod, sporting his Purdue Jersey, then All Black and Cheddarhead wearing his Central College Jersey and others.  

Ranger Rick's new ride!

Ranger Rick arrived along with a brand new carbon Fuji with electronic shifters and brought a new rider to the Nation who was promptly named Kryptonite for the jersey he was wearing!  

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Kryptonite!

Zickman's Renovo Wood Bike!

Zickman arrived sporting his Michigan Tri Jersey and riding his wooden bike.  The Renovo got a lot of attention as the crowd grew and though Sharkman got nervous when he over heard Zickman stating, "feel how smooth it is…." he calmed when he realized Zickman was talking about the cross bar on the wooden bike and not his shoulders that were protruding from his tight Michigan Tri Jersey.

Zickman took the opportunity to announce that he has procured a new sponsor for the 2013 season! 

In an upcoming press release obtained by Belo News, it was learned that Terminix has decided to sponsor the wood riding man of the Minion peloton for 2013!  After all, what says wood better than termites?  Oh, the humanity!  

We can't wait to see the Team Terminix kit (and let's hope it fits better than that Michigan Tri Jersey!)!

Psycho Cross sighting!

After a great deal of attention to the Zickman's wooden Renovo, other riders began trickling in, including Kid Gallagher, sporting an MSU Jersey, Ox, Dr. Dave, Bio-Waste, Boatman, Wildman, Peugeot Guy, Falcon, in his Michigan Jersey, giving Michigan an edge in the jersey competition, and rock star Minion, Psycho Cross, lead guitar with Joe Wang and the Test Pilots, making what is believed to be his first KK-TdG start of the season!  

How does the Sharkman continue to line up these famous riders?

With no Skipper, the Sharkman took over and led the peloton through town and with a wave to the adoring fans in the Koffee Klutch, they began the trek north.  

Gazelle Girl jumped on at her usual location just as Cheddarhead began waving people by with what the peloton thought was a minor mechanical.  Meanwhile at the front, Mad Dog, B-Rod and then Falcon came up to lead our hero out to the first sprint and made our hero work WAY too hard to get it! 

As Sharkman began counting, he quickly realized there were two riders missing and noticed Cheddarhead and Dr. Dave were absent and Sharkman headed back.  Dr. Dave soon met our hero as he came up the road reporting that Cheddarhead had a major clunking sound on the bike and had decoded to turn back. 

(Editors note - Sharkman and Mad Dog ran into Cheddarhead, post ride on their way back to the Shark Cove.  Cheddarhead reported that he had a loose handle bar at the stem but he didn't know that until he got home and got it on the stand.  He was going out to get some miles in, so all is well!)

As the peloton headed up the col de Twin Lakes there was a major discussion concerning the jersey count and the fact that Michigan was up on MSU for the first time in years.  As the peloton went past Bissell Boys house, they shouted out to the famous MSU rider to no avail.  The Nation figured the celebration from the win over Boise State must have kept the intrepid rider in bed.  

So the peloton was surprised to see the famous rider up ahead as they rode the Country Club hills, looking good in his MSU kit!  MSU 2, Michigan 2!

That is when the controversy began….

Kid Gallagher and Bissell Boy both filed formal complaints that Zickmans Michigan jersey, being so, for lack of a better term, "diminutive," only qualified for a half of a point.  However, Zickman and Falcon immediately filed an  appeal stating that since Bissell Boy had not jumped on until well into the ride, that MSU should only get a half of a point. Oh, the humanity!

The Commissioner, in his great wisdom, declared a tie and therefore MSU AND Michigan won "College Game Day!"

A number of riders jumped on and off the train as they circled the KK-TdG course and Belo News apologizes if we've inadvertently left anyone out, but the sprints were well contested throughout the course and it is always difficult to keep track of all the riders.

As the Nation moved towards the inlet sprint, Zickman and Falcon, the two Michigan representatives, went at it for the sprint.  It appeared that Zickman, on his wooden bike, took the sprint by a "sliver" as they both "splintered" from the pack.

As the peloton moved across Rt. 89, due to the detour on 37th Street, Zickman made a move in front of some fast moving cars that made everyone think that they would be seeing lumber all over the road, but he managed to make it across, unscathed.

The entire peloton minded their manors at G ave. as the mighty Nation lined up for the finish.  

Sharkman was concerned that there was no Tow Truck or Hossman to string out the pace line, but everyone seemed to be riding well and holding their lines.

In the final assault, the Skipper, sporting a Western Michigan Bronco Jersey, mysteriously appeared!

As the Nation crested the final ascent, all hell broke loose as everyone made a break for the finish.  Michigan was well represented as Zickman and Falcon fought with B-Rod, Dr. Dave and Wildman as they rambled to the finish line.

Dr. Dave took the final sprint with B-Rod and Falcon too close to call and Wildman on their wheels with Sharkman just behind them.

Average speed was 19.7 mph.

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation zipped up their jerseys (though Zickman had trouble getting his zipped all the way) and waved to their adoring fans.

Big 10 Rules!

Final Jersey Standings:

MSU 2

Michigan 2 

Wisconsin 1

Purdue 1

Central College 1

Western Michigan 1 

The Klutch was jumping as the College Game Day Jersey riders posed for photos and signed autographs. 

Zickman produced a Michigan helmet cover that he said he didn't wear for the ride because he thought the peloton would make fun of it!  Actually, the Minions had so much fun with his jersey, no one was sure they would have noticed the helmet cover!

Mad Dog enjoys a Klutch Espresso!

What will happen next week?  Come on out to ride and find out.  There are only so many weeks left in the season and you won't want to miss a single minute!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

TUESDAY NIGHT MINION CHAIN GANG REPORT!

Polar Bear comes out to help tie the season record!

Belo News

August 4, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - As the season winds down, as does the evening light, there are only a few Tuesday nights remaining in what has been a stellar, but windy season for the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang ride.  This Tuesday Rainman, Airman, All Black, Sharkman and Tuesday Night Virgin rider, Polar Bear turned out for their assault on the season record.

Worked as a fine oiled Swiss watch, the group of five riders traded off pulls and mounted the G ave. hill as though it were a bump in the road.

With Polar Bear on board taking big pulls, the fivesom bore down on the finish, timing the lights well.  Polar Bear took a major pull until just before the finish, when Rainman took over and upped the anty, getting the Minions to the finish with a tying season average speed high of 20.7mph!

This was the last "official" Tuesday Night ride, however it was decided to keep the ride going in September but the time will be moved up to accommodate light.

Next Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Launch Time - 5:45 p.m. - Sharp!  

Kellogg Headquarters Upper Parking Lot!

Be there!