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| Gazelle Girl! |
GAZELLE GIRL’S BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA REPORT!
TOUR DE TAYLOR THIS WEEKEND!
BREWMAN, BREWBOY HIT BY CAR!
STRYKER GUY CONQUERS THE MOUNTAINS!
Belo News
June 9, 2012
Gazelle Girl Reporting
Galesburg, Mi. – Dawn broke over the Triple Nasty Rancho
waaaay earlier than it seems to on most Saturdays, with Gazelle Girl groggily
muttering, “What the hell am I doing up so… “
Oh yeah, there’s a party to throw!! And it’s a beautiful
day!
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| Dr. Toe serving up the goodies! |
After getting the party deck ready for the arrival of the
guests, Gazelle Girl met the Mighty Minion Nation just around the corner from
her house. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as the peloton belted out
“Happy Birthday” as they crested the hill. Is this a great country or what?
Gazelle Girl was ceremoniously led out to the first birthday
sprint by Sharkman hizself. Thank you, Sharkman! And it was pretty much downhill
from there when it came to Gazelle Birthday Girl sprints, as Gazelle Girl had
to fight tooth and nail for all of ‘em, only winning one, maybe two, the rest
of the ride.
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| Sharkman, "drinkstrong!" |
Gazelle Girl had two options when it came to what to think
of this surprising turn of events: 1) the majority of the Nation is clueless
about birthday sprints 2) Gazelle Girl is SO one of the boys that it never
occurred to anyone to give a girl (a birthday girl at that) a break. Gazelle
Girl sort of lands in the middle on this one. Lucky for her, her jaunty cap is
not in need of the feathers that winning sprints provides.
If so, Gazelle Girl
would have sat right down at the Digital Divide and cried her birthday eyes
out. Instead, she didn’t really give a damn and had a marvelous ride with the
Mighty Minion Nation! Wheeeeee!
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| Party! |
Many from the Nation descended upon the Triple Nasty Rancho
to enjoy post-ride refreshments. Gazelle Girl was showered with fabulous gifts,
cards and well wishes, with Sharkman and Lava Girl’s card likely being the
most… how shall we say… startling.
After much relaxation, the party thinned down to Ranger Rick
and his gal Robin, Dr. Toe, Gazelle Girl and Gazelle Girl’s longtime trouble
making companion, Red (for lack of a better nick name).
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| Birthday Girl & PBR! |
Finally, ‘round about 3 pm the trio of Dr. T, GG and Red
struck out on the second lap of the day in an effort to ride Gazelle Girl’s age
in miles. The counter clock-wise ride idea was nixed when it was decided that a
stop at the beer store was in order so the riders could fetch a 6-pack to enjoy
a cool one at the boat launch and then another at Ross Township Park.
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| Ahhhhhhhh! |
Gazelle Girl had a fun surprise near the Country Club when
the riders came upon a carcass of some sort resting by the roadside. Its
condition, species and placement begged the question… did a food fight ensue at
Chico’s kid’s grad party the previous night? Inquiring minds want to know! If
only Gazelle Girl had been equipped with a Baggie. This little varmint would
have made it into all the ride photos from here forward. (Sadly, the little guy
was just too greasy to plop into GG’s new Gazelle Sports jersey.)
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| Mystery road kill? |
The tired trio returned to the Triple Nasty Rancho safe and
sound with 51.4 miles for the day. But, the biggest birthday surprise was yet
to come… Gazelle Girl’s mother, Mary Jo Mama, phoned ‘round about 7 pm asking
if Dr. Toe had given her one and only daughter a special birthday gift that Dr.
Toe had fetched from Mary Jo Mama the day before. Gazelle Girl was perplexed…
What? No gift as yet. “Uh oh,” said Mary Jo Mama. “Uh oh what?” Gazelle Girl
asked. “Just ask him where your gift is,” replied MJM.
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| Missing Birthday Cake! |
When plied with this question, Dr. Toe deflated to the size
of the lonely carcass perched on the roadside by Chico’s house. “Dammit,” he
was heard muttering under his breath as he hung his head and trudged to the
wood shop. He emerged holding forth a familiar object. It was Mary Jo Mama’s
famous cake carrier with – what else – her famous German Chocolate Cake tucked
inside!
OH, THE HUMANITY!!! Dr. Toe had forgotten to put out the
cake for the Mighty Minion Nation! Oh no, Dr. Toe! For shame!!
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| Gazelle Girl & Red! |
What to do with SOOOOOO much cake? Let’s just say Gazelle
Girl will be riding a lot this summer in an effort to burn off many bits of
pecan and coconut.
THANK YOU to the Mighty Minion Nation for coming out to
celebrate GG’s birthday! We might just have to do it again in 2013. I’ll see if
Mary Jo Mama will bake another cake…
Til next time,
Gazelle Girl
TOUR DE TAYLOR RIDE THIS SATURDAY!
KK-TOUR de GULL CANCELLED SO EVERYONE CAN RIDE THE TOUR
de TAYLOR!
Belo News
June 13, 2012
Mattawan, Mi. – Belo News wants to remind everyone that
the Tour de Taylor is coming up this Saturday, June 16! Sharkman and Lava Girl, the first couple of
cycling, will be in attendance doing the 12 mile route. The KK-TdG
has been suspended so that the Mighty Minion Nation can take part in this
important event. Sharkman is hoping the Nation will follow him and Lava Girl
(though probably on the longer rides).
Remember, all proceeds go to Make a Wish and also remember, “It’s for
the kids!”
Belo News spoke with ride organizer, the Iceman, this
past week and they have over 300 riders signed up for the ride. They also will have fantastic rest stops and
a lunch at 11:00 A.M. Belo News is
hoping the Minion Nation will come on out and join the fun!
So click on the website now and join Sharkman for the
ride!
Rides of 12/30 and 62 are available!
BREWMAN AND BREWBOY HIT BY CAR!
Belo News
June 7, 2012
Brewman Reporting
Kalamazoo, Mi. – This past Saturday, perennial Minion
Brewman was not in attendance for the Gazelle Girl Birthday Extravaganza and
the entire Nation wondered where he was.
Actually, knowing there was beer practically insured that the Brewman
would be in attendance.
On Saturday afternoon, Belo News got the answer when
Brewman sent the following update:
My son and I were hit by a car
Thursday morning. We were riding single file on the far right side of a wide
shoulder. I was in back. The driver hit me on the side and then hit Matt
direct. I was on the ground and could see Matt in convulsions. I was able to
get up and to him. Someone had already called 911. I was never more scared in
my life. Help was fast getting there. A ton of helpful people materialized. The
driver did stop but never said a word or offered help. The car was impounded.
Matt was transported to Bronson. He is ok. Concussion and a few fracture’s in his lower back, probably where he was hit. They are away from the spinal cord. Full recovery is expected. He has been training for the Madison ironman for almost a year......it will not happen this time. He came home late yesterday. I am just bruised, scrapped and sore.
We could not have been riding any safer or preventable. Distracted drivers are dangerous. Be safe.
Brewman
Matt was transported to Bronson. He is ok. Concussion and a few fracture’s in his lower back, probably where he was hit. They are away from the spinal cord. Full recovery is expected. He has been training for the Madison ironman for almost a year......it will not happen this time. He came home late yesterday. I am just bruised, scrapped and sore.
We could not have been riding any safer or preventable. Distracted drivers are dangerous. Be safe.
Brewman
Thanks for the report Brewman, and
let’s hope the police check the drivers’ phone records to see if they were
talking or texting at the time of the accident!
STRYKER GUY REPORTS IN FROM COLORADO!
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| Stryker Guy in Redwing Jersey! |
Belo News
June, 2012
Stryker Guy Reporting
Day 2: Lizard Head Pass – Our own Stryker Guy was out
west, doing the “Death Ride” as the Nation was partying on Saturday. Stryker Guy reports that it was a tremendous
ride, beautiful but scary hard.
Unfortunately, he had to cut the ride short to come back to work (now
that Sharkman is on vacation until retires, he thinks everyone should be either
on vacation or retired!). Stryker Guy
reported that his fellow riders stated the last two passes were a “bear!”
When asked for some “in-depth” tidbits on the ride,
Stryker Guy was quoted a stating:
“Tidbit #1 - I was scared to death coming down the
backside of Red Mountain Pass--17 miles of hairpin turns on the mountain with
no railings!”
“Tidbit #2 - however hydrated you are it's not
enough. I cramped in places I didn't
know you could cramp. Drank 2 liters of
Pedicare after the first night! (Editor’s Note – we prefer Oberon to Pedicare,
but that is just us…..).
(see photo of Stryker Guy in his Redwings Jersey with
some other Kalamazoo riders)
Great job Stryker Guy, you did the Nation proud!
MICHIGAN MOUNTAIN MAYHEM!
Belo News
June 9, 2012
Traverse City, Mi. - Rainman reported in this weekend that he and Wrongway took on the Michigan Mountain Mayhem ride with 6,333 ft. of total climb in 105 miles of riding! It was reported that it was in the mid-80's with 15 mph winds and one of their fellow riders dehydrated in the heat and had to drop out. But not our Minions!
Congratulations, you did the nation proud!
MICHIGAN MOUNTAIN MAYHEM!
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| Wrongway & Rainman! |
Belo News
June 9, 2012
Traverse City, Mi. - Rainman reported in this weekend that he and Wrongway took on the Michigan Mountain Mayhem ride with 6,333 ft. of total climb in 105 miles of riding! It was reported that it was in the mid-80's with 15 mph winds and one of their fellow riders dehydrated in the heat and had to drop out. But not our Minions!
Congratulations, you did the nation proud!
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!
Belo News
June 13, 2012
No one Reporting
Battle Creek, Mi. – It was windy again on Tuesday night
and every Minion knows what the means!
Tuesday Night Ride!
Sharkman was AWOL, attending a dinner and though he had
confirmation that several Minions would be in attendance, Belo News regrets to
report that no information on the ride was submitted.
This would seem to indicate that without Sharkman, no
record was achieved, so all that can be reported is that “they showed, they
road, the conquered!”
If you like pace line work, this is the ride for you!
Tuesdays, 6:00 p.m. from Kellogg HQ upper parking
ramp! Come on out!
SHARKMAN NEEDS BIKES!
Belo News
June 13, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. – Sharkman is in need of a couple of
bikes. His two son in laws will be coming
the week of July 4-15 and he would like to find both road and mountain bikes
for them to ride while they are here. One
son in law is 6’2” and needs larger frame sizes. His other son in law is the same size as
Sharkman.
Anyone who has bikes that they can lend to the Sharkman
should contact him. He does have some
back up for the shorter son in law, but needs the larger bikes. Please let Sharkman know ASAP.
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