Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Wildman steals the show!

WILDMAN STEALS THE SHOW!

CELEBRITY RIDER IN THE RANKS!

SHARKMAN TAKES BEER JERSEY HONORS!

WHAT YOU SAY? A MINION LEFT BEHIND? 

Belo News
June 23, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. – Anticipation was high at the Shark Cove this past Saturday for a number of reasons.   
Not only was our intrepid hero, the Sharkman excited to get back to his beloved KK-TdG roads of dreams, but he was expecting a very special guest to be joining him.

Sharkman & Kannibal!
A bit of Minion History…….back in 1988, when our hero was starting his second bike life, after a long and undistinguished Marathoning career, he actually bumped into his first Minion (though, as hard as it may seem to believe there were no Minions in those days) while purchasing his new Trek 1000 at Alfred E. Bike.  

Bullet Bob, who Sharkman knew from work, was in the store at the time and asked our hero if he would like to go for a ride the following Saturday.  True to his word, Bullet rode to Sharkman’s house and off they went as the very first two Minions.  However, within a week or two, Sharkman’s neighbor’s son, Karl, later to be known as the Kannibal because of his beautiful Eddy Merckx bike, asked if he could ride with the Minions.  So Bullet Bob and Karl the Kannibal became the first Mighty Minion Nation citizen’s!

Kannibal was 28 years old at the time and single, so he was like the perfect biking friend.  Sharkman would give him a call on the spur of the moment and ask if he wanted to ride and before he could hang up the phone, Kannibal was waiting in the driveway.

Alas, all good things come to an end and Kannibal got a job in Jackson with Consumer Power, got married and the two lost track of one another.

However, this past winter as the Kannibal was searching mountain biking videos on YouTube, he came across the award winning video that Sharkman and Bissell Boy had produced (see the December 2011 archived Belo News) and immediately sent an email to our hero asking if it was the same “Sharkman.”  Well, since there is only one Sharkman, he confirmed it was indeed his video and he shared the Belo News site and Kannibal had called the past week to say he was driving over from Jackson to do the ride!

Kannibal was this weeks "Celebrity Rider!"

When Sharkman hit the garage door, none other than Woody from Team Active was in the drive waiting, followed by Nikeboy!  Kannibal arrived shortly after and a bit late, which caused the four riders to have to hustle to the start.

As the riders made their way over, Wildman joined on east of the Eaton Plant explaining that he was trying to get miles in before the "Make A Wish Ride" in a few weeks.

Beer Men of the Peloton!
The Minions were circling in the parking lot, unloading cars and generally looking to get back into action after the past couple of weeks of Extravaganza’s!

In addition to those already named, the Great Dane, sporting a very cool Dos XX Beer Jersey, was making a return to the peloton for the first time this season!  Stryker Guy, B-Rod, Dr. Dave, Bob the Builder, Luke Skywalker, Tow Truck, Hoosier Boy, Squeaky, All Black, Peugeot Guy, CheddarHead and Airman (hope we’re not forgetting anyone!) were all ready to rock as Sharkman, in the absence of the Skipper, got things started.

Belo News is disappointed to report a low turnout of Beer Jersey’s for Beer Jersey Day, however those who did wear them were looking good!  Though Bell’s, and more specifically Oberon, again easily won for the number of jerseys, everyone agreed that the Sharkman’s retro Schlitz Jersey was the hands down winner despite strong entries from Ryder (All Black) and Dos XX (the Great Dane)!

As the Nation rolled by the Klutch, Luann, their favorite barista waved to them from the door and shouted, “Ride safe!” ........and they were off!

Gazelle Girl joined on as the train moved north to the usual shouts of “Gazelle Girl!”

Squeaky, wanting to make sure he was mentioned in the Belo News for reasons other than being the Style Guy, led our hero out to the first sprint.  As a matter of fact, both riders were feeling so frisky that they went out way ahead of the peloton to grab the sprint.

Squeaky kept his momentum up and took the second sprint as well!

Heads were counted after the col de Twin Lakes and with all on, the usual attack on the Country Club section began in earnest after Kellogg Korner.  Riders toyed at the front with the Kannibal taking his first ever KK-TdG sprint at the Rt. 43 Stop Ahead sign.

It was at this intersection that the Minions failed their credo to not leave any Minion behind.

Sharkman took a count and two riders were off the back.  As one of the riders came back on, there was a major discussion that the Great Dane was missing.  The Nation waited for some time and came to the conclusion that no one heard a mechanical and since he had not been out on the bike much, he must have turned back and the peloton went on.  The Minions later learned that the Great Dane had experience a flat tire, but no one reported hearing a yell out for a “mechanical” and the Minions rode on!

Editor’s Note – The importance of letting other riders know if you have a mechanical or if you drop off the ride is very important.  With a number of riders each week jumping on and off, it can be extremely difficult to keep track of riders.  Please let Minions know if you are; 1.) experiencing a mechanical of any type and; 2.) if you are dropping off the ride. Though this is NOT an excuse for leaving any Minion behind......we feel better saying it!

The ride moved on to the col de Norte and the pace picked up again in the Bible Conference Hills were Airman and Tow Truck fought for the sprint with Airman just nudging Tow Truck out of the win by less than a half of a wheel!

South of the Digital Divide, the Sharkman attempted to get the pace line going, but for whatever reason, no one wanted to play in the sandbox.  What could only be described as organized chaos, the Minion Nation looked like a bunch of riders going home on bikes after a three day Irish Funeral!  Even Gazelle Girl couldn’t seem to get the Nation to get in line as they rode all over the road with no semblance of a pace line.

As the nation crossed the GGG Spot, Sharkman had to chastise a rider for crossing and circling the intersection. (This is another reminder that all Minions need to cross the intersections together and should stay to the center of the lane and not take up the entire intersection as they wait to cross, nor should they circle in the intersection!)
Nikeboy, Woody discuss final sprint!

As Sharkman crossed the GGG Spot, he worried that there were a lot of riders who would be bunched at the finish, so he went to the front with Stryker Guy right on his wheel to try to move things along.  The two exchanged the front spot until Tow Truck, B-Rod, Hoosier Boy, All Black and Airman came forward, just before the final ascent before the finish.

As the mighty train crested the final hill, Wildman who had been quiet most of the ride, shot out to the front and there didn’t appear to be any response to cover the move.  As Wildman began to build momentum on the downhill, riders began to shout, “he is going to stay away, someone get on his wheel!”

B-Rod, Hoosier Boy, All Black, Kannibal, Tow Truck and others amassed behind him but the daring move from the Wildman looked like it would pay off.

Meanwhile, the cagy Sharkman, knowing B-Rod would never give up, grabbed on to B-Rod’s wheel like he grab’s his Whitsun if the waitress tries to take it before he has drained the entire glass!

Minion left behind - the Great Dane!
Riding B-Rod’s wheel as they passed other riders, Sharkman felt he could make a final move on B-Rod, but it was to no avail!  Wildman had pulled off one of the great wins of Minion history by “stealing” the finish, while B-Rod and Sharkman finished second and third!

The riders were jovial in the fantastic weather as they zipped up their jerseys for the sponsors and waved to their adoring fans along the Champs le Galesburg.

Luann was patiently waiting for the Nation as they approached the Klutch!  Sharkman, feeling good about his podium finish, bought hot chocolate for Airman, who had forgotten his wallet and for B-Rod for pulling him on to the podium!

As the riders spread out to drink their brew and take photos of the Beer Jersey’s, some mentioned that the Great Dane had just pulled up! As previously mentioned, he had flatted out in the Country Club section and had been left behind!  All the Minions apologized and also noted how impressed they were that he was only a few minutes behind the Minions!

Gazelle Girl takes a call?
During all the frivolity, Luann took a call and said it was for Gazelle Girl, which impressed the hell out of the Minions.  Who takes calls at the Klutch?  Gazelle Girl, that’s who!

Wildman, still high after his win and looking for miles, rode with Kannibal and Sharkman back to Battle Creek and reported ending up with 50+ miles for the day! Wildman also supplied the photo of Nikeboy and Woody on G Ave.

You won't want to miss this weeks ride, Bunkie!

This Saturday, June 30, 2012 (the last day of June? Can you believe it?)


Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

DISABLED LIST UPDATE!

Word from Hawkeye & Falcon!

Belo News
June 27, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. – After all the news about Brewman and Brewboy, Belo News decided to check in with two Minions who are on the injury list to determine how they are doing.  As has been reported in the pages of Belo News, Hawkeye has been battling skin cancer, while Falcon is mending from a shattered elbow. We have some great news from each Minion and in their own words!

First, from Hawkeye:

Hey Shark,

Thanks for checking in.  Today is actually the 1 year moment in which my surgery took place last year to remove the lymph nodes.  I have 2 more weeks of shots left to complete then I am on the down side of this thing.  All my CT scans have come back clean so all is good there.  I can't wait to be off the meds so I can get back to feeling normal.  Once that happens I hope to get back on the bike and get back into shape and into the swing of things.

Overall, things are good.  Thanks for asking.

Thanks for the updates on the TDK gang.  I hope to make the ride at least once yet this summer.

Ride safe and keep the rubber side down.

Hawkeye

Thanks Hawkeye, great news! The Minions are holding a spot in the peloton for you!

From Falcon:

Shark,

The bones are healing and the range of motion is coming along nicely. I have clearance to get in the pool to start swimming if I want. I was hoping to be able to get out on the bike to start doing some solo rides in a week or two. However, I have a nerve in the elbow that has started to cause numbness in my pinky and ring fingers. It is also causing some issue with the fine motor skills in my hand. It’s not an uncommon problem. I’m waiting to hear back from the Dr.’s office as I type this. Right now, it looks like I might have to have another surgery to relieve the pressure on the nerve. If I have to have surgery, I’m not sure how much longer that will delay my return to the peloton.

Falcon

Take care Falcon, the Nation awaits your return!


FOLLOW UP REPORT FROM THE TOUR DE TAYLOR!

Belo News
June 23,2012
Reporter: Stryker Guy

Galesburg, Mi. – Stryker Guy reported in after the Belo News went to press last week and his comments were so good, well we just felt we had to print them! 

Stryker Guy wrote:  “I will be there with bells or Bell’s on Saturday! I did the 62 miler with several lunatics (including Dr. Dave). As the pace quickened to 26+ I wondered first, Why? Secondly, how do I bow out without looking like a complete wimp.  I hung on like your grandmother’s ugly drapes and finished with my tongue lagging about 10 miles back.  The excuse of me riding mountains evoked ZERO sympathy.

I love the Schlitz jersey---that will win the award unless someone finds a Stroh’s jersey!

Well said, Stryker Guy, well said!  “I hung on like your grandmother’s ugly drapes!” Why can’t Belo News come up with lines like that!  Oh, the humanity!


SHARKLET UPDATE!

Raindrop!
Rainman still on dooty!

Belo News
June 27, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. – We are pleased to report that the newest addition to the Nation is doing well and has Rainman and Tardette hoping!  We are also pleased to report the little cutie is doing well, however we have no idea when the Rainman, or Tardette for that matter, will return to the roads as both are heavily involved in Diaper Dooty! (Editor’s Note – sorry, we just couldn’t help ourselves).


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

Old Record Shattered!

Belo News
June 26, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. – With the wind and the temps down, the Minions this week weren’t sure it was Tuesday Night, but it was and several Minions showed up for the ride.  In addition to our hero, the Sharkman, Airman, Stingray, All Black, Hoosier Boy, and the handsome guy of the peloton, Dutch, were in attendance.  Though no firm strategy was in place, the riders seemed to settle into a nice rhythm, taking pulls for as long as they wanted.

With the cool temps and negligible winds, the riders were on a good pace when Dutch dropped off for home in Galesburg.  Working like a fine tuned watch, the riders picked up even more speed as they headed back to the Creek and with everyone pounding hard in the finish, they ended up with a new season record of 21.6 mph for the ride!  Oh, the humanity!

You won’t want to miss next week’s ride! If you like a great workout, doing pace line riding, this is the ride for you!  Launch Time – 6:00 P.M. – SHARP! From Kellogg HQ upper parking ramp! Be there!


POSSIBLE JULY 4TH RIDE?

Belo News
June 27, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. – Several riders have asked if there will be a 4th of July ride this year.  As all Minions know, we have periodically had 4th of July rides over the years and if there is enough interest, we will again have one this year.  Please let us know if you want to ride and we will set up a time.  The Klutch will be closed, but the Minions can either go to McDonalds or head home after the ride for their 4th festivities. 

Let us know!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


Iceman, Sharkman & Lava Girl

TOUR de TAYLOR EXTRAVAGANZA!

NEW SHARKLET IN THE PELOTON!

BREWMAN, BREWBOY UPDATE!

WHO WAS THAT HANDSOME GUY?

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News
June 16, 2012

Lava Girl & Sharkman
Mattawan, Mi. – Dawn broke hot and humid over the Shark Cove as our intrepid hero loaded up both his and Lava Girls bikes for the trip over to Mattawan for the Tour de Taylor. 

As many of our readers are aware, the ride was a major success with 359 riders registering to do the three ride options.  The ride was organized in fantastic fashion, particularly when considering this was the first time for the event!  The course was well marked, the aid stations (particularly the cookies) were outstanding and the lunch was delicious!  Everything was extremely well coordinated.  

After signing a few autographs, and some photo opportunities for the paparazzi, Lava Girl and Sharkman headed out on the 10 mile ride.  Lava Girl loved the scenic route and both riders loved the chocolate, macadamia cookies at the rest stop! MMmmmm cookies!

Sharkman & Stingray!
The first couple of cycling bumped into Stingray, who had done the 31 miler, and B-Rod, who had done the 62 miler, at the post ride lunch and enjoyed burgers and hot dogs in the shade of a nearby tree. 

Dr. Dave reported in later that he, Stryker Guy and Airman did the 62 miler as did Cheddarhead. It could not be determined what other Minions took part in the event, but all involved thought it was a great ride!

Sharkman & B-Rod!
Sharkman realized a major mistake in not arranging a start time for Minions to meet and ride together.  Since he was doing the 10 mile with Lava Girl, he did not think of organizing the rest of his Minions and that became apparent when he began to get emails from the Nation asking about start times on Friday.  After all, it is well known that Minions need Sharkman to organize them!

Sharkman plans to lead the Minions next year on the 62 miler!


BREWMAN AND BREWBOY UPDATE!

Belo News
June 16, 2012

Comstock, Mi. – At the Tour de Taylor on Saturday, many of the Minions asked about Brewman and his son Brewboy.  The entire nation was worried about the pair and wanted an update, so Editors contacted Brewman and he forwarded the following good news:

Crime scene photo
“Thanks for checking in. Brewboy is doing better. He is in a flexible back brace until a follow up visit in a few weeks. Limited activity but he is getting around well and off any pain meds. My rash is mostly healed. Still sore in some areas and not quite ready for the jarring of a ride on a bike. My bike is mostly recovered but brewboy's was laid to rest along with both helmets. The police report should be complete this week and I am interested in seeing the results of that. It should not have happened but we both realize it could have been much worse.


Here is a picture of the crime scene. It was on old Douglas, just north of Martin, still in the 35 mph zone.


Be safe out there!

(Editor’s Note: Glad to hear both riders are on the mend!  We too, are very interested in the police report and how this could have happened.  The Nation is with both riders as they heal up after the accident and there is a spot waiting for both in the peloton!)


BEER JERSEY SATURDAY THIS WEEK!

NEW LAUNCH TIME - 8:00 a.m.!

Belo News
June 23,2012

Galesburg, Mi. – After two weeks of partying with Gazelle Girl, riding the Tour de Taylor and generally goofing off, the Nation gets back into action this Saturday and to kick things off, the Commissioner of Cycling has declared it “Beer Jersey Day!”

Heck, it is summer, it is hot, we’re getting close to the 4th of July and that means beer!  So what better way to say summer than to wear your favorite Beer Jersey!  Besides, Sharkman has a new, cool retro Beer Jersey (see photo - and he use to work for them!) that he has been dying to wear!

Because of the heat and in keeping with previous season practises, we will be moving the start up to 8:00 A.M. for the summer. Minions seemed divided on moving the time up, but the majority did want to go earlier as the summer heat came on.

So, this Saturday, June 23, 2012!

Beer Jersey Day!

New Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!


NEW SHARKLET IN THE PELOTON!

Raindrop has arrived!
Raindrop Makes Her Debut!

Belo News
June 17, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. – Just in time for Father’s Day, we are pleased to introduce the latest edition to the Mighty Minion Nation! 

Born to Rainman and Tardette at 6:30 A.M. on June 17, 2012 (Raindrop obviously was not aware that Tardette and Rainman are NOT morning people, but they are about to become morning/evening/late night people shortly!):

Lauren Elizabeth Engelhardt
6 Ibs. 12.9 oz.

What a cutie!  Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation little lady!


MAJOR CORRECTION ON MICHIGAN MOUNTAIN MAYHEM!

Dutch? Is that you?
It Was Dutch in the Photo!

Belo News
June 14, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. – We here at Belo News strive to get the news to you in an accurate manor, and we know the Mighty Minion Nation will let us know if we don’t!

Last week we failed to name one of the three riders in the photo of the Minions who rode in the Michigan Mountain Mayhem Ride.  However, when the photo was texted to the editors, no names were given.  However, the editors knew the texter, and recognized Wrongway and did not recognize the "handsome" third rider.

Though when we learn that people are actually reading this major cycling publication (actually, we realize that most Minions don’t read it and only look for their photos, which is confirmed here), we are saddened when we learn of any mistakes that are made (though we do reserve the right to make stuff up if we want to...).

We got the attached from Dutch the following morning!

Editors of Belo News;

"What the???!!!

That handsome guy next to Rainman is none other than Dutch.  Have I been black-balled?

Lol"

Dutch

The Editors apologize to Dutch, however, we want it clear that we share the blame with Rainman for not mentioning it in the texted photo who the riders are!   

(Editor’s note: Dutch actually didn’t want the Editors to correct this in the Belo News but we couldn’t let this pass! Oh, the humanity!)


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

How Hot Was It?

Belo News
June 19, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. – With the heat index approaching 100, and the winds up indicating it was time for the Tuesday Night ride, only two insane Minions showed up for the Tuesday Night Ride!  Sharkman launched from home and could feel the heat radiating from the pavement as he headed downtown wondering if anyone else would be crazy enough to show.

There was one lone rider waiting for the old Shark in the parking lot.  Hoosier Boy, who because of a conference call that ended up getting cancelled anyway, did not make his morning ride, decided to gut out the heat and ride with the old Shark.

With the temps at 95 degrees at launch time, and the winds gusting to 15-20 mph out of the west, the two intrepid Minions headed out wondering if anyone else would be crazy enough to join on during the ride.

The pair rode side by side, while Sharkman reminisced about the “old days” at Kellogg.  Though Hoosier Boy is not old, he has been at Kellogg long enough to remember many of the “old days” and Sharkman was enjoying the discussion as they headed west.  Rumor has it that Hoosier Boy was born in the Kellogg lobby!

At the G Ave. hill the going got tough and our intrepid hero started to feel the heat.  He had drunk a full 12 oz.  glass of water before leaving the Cove, would consume two full water bottles during the ride, reload a third bottle at Kellogg, which he consumed on his way home, drink a 16 oz.bottle of Gatorade when he got home, followed by a 16 oz. diet Coke with his pizza dinner (yes, Sharkman always has pizza after his Tuesday Night Ride), followed by another 12 oz. glass of water before bed and still didn’t have to go to the bathroom until Wednesday morning (Man, where else can you get this kind of in-depth, investigating reporting, eh Bunkie?)(too much information? Go to the comment section!)

During the ride, Gazelle Girl pulled up along side the duo on her  motorcycle on the way to a meeting!  She commented that she would normally ride her bike to the meeting, but it was too hot. And she was correct, it was too hot to be on a bike!

Though Sharkman tried to claim a new speed record of 27.2 mph and began shouting, “It’s a victory for America!” and “Is this a great country or what!?” as they approached the finish, it was obvious that he was suffering from heat prostration.  The much more stable Hoosier Boy confirmed that the average speed for the night was a very respectable 19.5 mph for the 30 mile ride.

You won’t want to miss next week’s ride! How hot will it be? How hard will the wind be blowing?  Come on out and find out for yourself!

If you like a great workout doing pace line riding, this is the ride for you! 

Launch Time – 6:00 P.M. – SHARP! From Kellogg HQ upper parking ramp! 

Be there!



SHARKMAN NEEDS BIKES!

Belo News
June 21, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. – Sharkman wants to thank those who have offered bikes for his son in laws.  As you may have read last week, his two son in laws will be coming the week of July 4-15 and he wants to find both road and mountain bikes for them to ride while they are here.  One son in law is 6’2” and needs larger frame sizes.  His other son in law is the same size as Sharkman.

Sharkman thinks he has it covered, but is always looking for more opportunities for bikes!  If you have bikes that that you can lend to the Sharkman (particularly in a small size) please contact him.  Please let Sharkman know ASAP.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Gazelle Girl!

GAZELLE GIRL’S BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA REPORT!

TOUR DE TAYLOR THIS WEEKEND!

BREWMAN, BREWBOY HIT BY CAR!

STRYKER GUY CONQUERS THE MOUNTAINS!

Belo News
June 9, 2012
Gazelle Girl Reporting

Galesburg, Mi. – Dawn broke over the Triple Nasty Rancho waaaay earlier than it seems to on most Saturdays, with Gazelle Girl groggily muttering, “What the hell am I doing up so… “

Oh yeah, there’s a party to throw!! And it’s a beautiful day!
Dr. Toe serving up the goodies!

After getting the party deck ready for the arrival of the guests, Gazelle Girl met the Mighty Minion Nation just around the corner from her house. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as the peloton belted out “Happy Birthday” as they crested the hill. Is this a great country or what?

Gazelle Girl was ceremoniously led out to the first birthday sprint by Sharkman hizself. Thank you, Sharkman! And it was pretty much downhill from there when it came to Gazelle Birthday Girl sprints, as Gazelle Girl had to fight tooth and nail for all of ‘em, only winning one, maybe two, the rest of the ride.

Sharkman, "drinkstrong!"
Gazelle Girl had two options when it came to what to think of this surprising turn of events: 1) the majority of the Nation is clueless about birthday sprints 2) Gazelle Girl is SO one of the boys that it never occurred to anyone to give a girl (a birthday girl at that) a break. Gazelle Girl sort of lands in the middle on this one. Lucky for her, her jaunty cap is not in need of the feathers that winning sprints provides.

 If so, Gazelle Girl would have sat right down at the Digital Divide and cried her birthday eyes out. Instead, she didn’t really give a damn and had a marvelous ride with the Mighty Minion Nation! Wheeeeee!

Party!
Many from the Nation descended upon the Triple Nasty Rancho to enjoy post-ride refreshments. Gazelle Girl was showered with fabulous gifts, cards and well wishes, with Sharkman and Lava Girl’s card likely being the most… how shall we say… startling.

After much relaxation, the party thinned down to Ranger Rick and his gal Robin, Dr. Toe, Gazelle Girl and Gazelle Girl’s longtime trouble making companion, Red (for lack of a better nick name).

Birthday Girl & PBR!
Finally, ‘round about 3 pm the trio of Dr. T, GG and Red struck out on the second lap of the day in an effort to ride Gazelle Girl’s age in miles. The counter clock-wise ride idea was nixed when it was decided that a stop at the beer store was in order so the riders could fetch a 6-pack to enjoy a cool one at the boat launch and then another at Ross Township Park.
Ahhhhhhhh!

Gazelle Girl had a fun surprise near the Country Club when the riders came upon a carcass of some sort resting by the roadside. Its condition, species and placement begged the question… did a food fight ensue at Chico’s kid’s grad party the previous night? Inquiring minds want to know! If only Gazelle Girl had been equipped with a Baggie. This little varmint would have made it into all the ride photos from here forward. (Sadly, the little guy was just too greasy to plop into GG’s new Gazelle Sports jersey.)

Mystery road kill?
The tired trio returned to the Triple Nasty Rancho safe and sound with 51.4 miles for the day. But, the biggest birthday surprise was yet to come… Gazelle Girl’s mother, Mary Jo Mama, phoned ‘round about 7 pm asking if Dr. Toe had given her one and only daughter a special birthday gift that Dr. Toe had fetched from Mary Jo Mama the day before. Gazelle Girl was perplexed… What? No gift as yet. “Uh oh,” said Mary Jo Mama. “Uh oh what?” Gazelle Girl asked. “Just ask him where your gift is,” replied MJM.
Missing Birthday Cake!

When plied with this question, Dr. Toe deflated to the size of the lonely carcass perched on the roadside by Chico’s house. “Dammit,” he was heard muttering under his breath as he hung his head and trudged to the wood shop. He emerged holding forth a familiar object. It was Mary Jo Mama’s famous cake carrier with – what else – her famous German Chocolate Cake tucked inside!

OH, THE HUMANITY!!! Dr. Toe had forgotten to put out the cake for the Mighty Minion Nation! Oh no, Dr. Toe! For shame!!

Gazelle Girl & Red!
What to do with SOOOOOO much cake? Let’s just say Gazelle Girl will be riding a lot this summer in an effort to burn off many bits of pecan and coconut.

THANK YOU to the Mighty Minion Nation for coming out to celebrate GG’s birthday! We might just have to do it again in 2013. I’ll see if Mary Jo Mama will bake another cake…

Til next time,

Gazelle Girl



TOUR DE TAYLOR RIDE THIS SATURDAY!

KK-TOUR de GULL CANCELLED SO EVERYONE CAN RIDE THE TOUR de TAYLOR!

Belo News
June 13, 2012

Mattawan, Mi. – Belo News wants to remind everyone that the Tour de Taylor is coming up this Saturday, June 16!  Sharkman and Lava Girl, the first couple of cycling, will be in attendance doing the 12 mile route.  The KK-TdG has been suspended so that the Mighty Minion Nation can take part in this important event. Sharkman is hoping the Nation will follow him and Lava Girl (though probably on the longer rides).  Remember, all proceeds go to Make a Wish and also remember, “It’s for the kids!”

Belo News spoke with ride organizer, the Iceman, this past week and they have over 300 riders signed up for the ride.  They also will have fantastic rest stops and a lunch at 11:00 A.M.  Belo News is hoping the Minion Nation will come on out and join the fun!

So click on the website now and join Sharkman for the ride! 

Rides of 12/30 and 62 are available!


BREWMAN AND BREWBOY HIT BY CAR!

Belo News
June 7, 2012
Brewman Reporting

Kalamazoo, Mi. – This past Saturday, perennial Minion Brewman was not in attendance for the Gazelle Girl Birthday Extravaganza and the entire Nation wondered where he was.  Actually, knowing there was beer practically insured that the Brewman would be in attendance. 

On Saturday afternoon, Belo News got the answer when Brewman sent the following update:

My son and I were hit by a car Thursday morning. We were riding single file on the far right side of a wide shoulder. I was in back. The driver hit me on the side and then hit Matt direct. I was on the ground and could see Matt in convulsions. I was able to get up and to him. Someone had already called 911. I was never more scared in my life. Help was fast getting there. A ton of helpful people materialized. The driver did stop but never said a word or offered help. The car was impounded.

Matt was transported to Bronson. He is ok. Concussion and a few fracture’s in his lower back, probably where he was hit. They are away from the spinal cord. Full recovery is expected. He has been training for the Madison ironman for almost a year......it will not happen this time. He came home late yesterday. I am just bruised, scrapped and sore.

We could not have been riding any safer or preventable. Distracted drivers are dangerous. Be safe.

Brewman

Thanks for the report Brewman, and let’s hope the police check the drivers’ phone records to see if they were talking or texting at the time of the accident!


STRYKER GUY REPORTS IN FROM COLORADO!

Stryker Guy in Redwing Jersey!
Belo News
June, 2012
Stryker Guy Reporting

Day 2: Lizard Head Pass – Our own Stryker Guy was out west, doing the “Death Ride” as the Nation was partying on Saturday.  Stryker Guy reports that it was a tremendous ride, beautiful but scary hard.  Unfortunately, he had to cut the ride short to come back to work (now that Sharkman is on vacation until retires, he thinks everyone should be either on vacation or retired!).  Stryker Guy reported that his fellow riders stated the last two passes were a “bear!”

When asked for some “in-depth” tidbits on the ride, Stryker Guy was quoted a stating:

“Tidbit #1 - I was scared to death coming down the backside of Red Mountain Pass--17 miles of hairpin turns on the mountain with no railings!”

“Tidbit #2 - however hydrated you are it's not enough.  I cramped in places I didn't know you could cramp.  Drank 2 liters of Pedicare after the first night! (Editor’s Note – we prefer Oberon to Pedicare, but that is just us…..).

(see photo of Stryker Guy in his Redwings Jersey with some other Kalamazoo riders)

Great job Stryker Guy, you did the Nation proud!


MICHIGAN MOUNTAIN MAYHEM!
Wrongway & Rainman!

Belo News
June 9, 2012

Traverse City, Mi. - Rainman reported in this weekend that he and Wrongway took on the Michigan Mountain Mayhem ride with 6,333 ft. of total climb in 105 miles of riding!  It was reported that it was in the  mid-80's with 15 mph winds and one of their fellow riders dehydrated in the heat and had to drop out.  But not our Minions!

Congratulations, you did the nation proud!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

Belo News
June 13, 2012
No one Reporting

Battle Creek, Mi. – It was windy again on Tuesday night and every Minion knows what the means!  Tuesday Night Ride!

Sharkman was AWOL, attending a dinner and though he had confirmation that several Minions would be in attendance, Belo News regrets to report that no information on the ride was submitted.

This would seem to indicate that without Sharkman, no record was achieved, so all that can be reported is that “they showed, they road, the conquered!”

If you like pace line work, this is the ride for you!


Tuesdays, 6:00 p.m. from Kellogg HQ upper parking ramp!  Come on out!


SHARKMAN NEEDS BIKES!

Belo News
June 13, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. – Sharkman is in need of a couple of bikes.  His two son in laws will be coming the week of July 4-15 and he would like to find both road and mountain bikes for them to ride while they are here.  One son in law is 6’2” and needs larger frame sizes.  His other son in law is the same size as Sharkman.

Anyone who has bikes that they can lend to the Sharkman should contact him.  He does have some back up for the shorter son in law, but needs the larger bikes.  Please let Sharkman know ASAP.


Wednesday, June 6, 2012


GAZELLE GIRL’S BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA THIS SATURDAY!

A SAFETY MOMENT WITH SHARKMAN!

SQUEAKY, YOU MUDDER YOU!

TOUR DE TAYLOR RIDE JUNE 16, 2012!

LOST & FOUND?

Belo News
June 2, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. – The event that the entire Minion Nation has been waiting for has finally arrived!  Yes, you’ve heard about it, you’ve read about it, you’ve talked about it, NOW YOU CAN EXPERIENCE IT!
The Gala Gazelle Girl Birthday Extravaganza and possible TdG2 is this Saturday!  Oh, the humanity!

Gazelle Girl recommends parking at her house at 11228 E. HJ Drive in Galesburg. It is also recommended that you bring a change of clothes for the post ride party festivities (who wants to sit around sipping adult beverages in wet lycra kit?).

Spouses and significant others are welcome and encouraged to come. The first lady of cycling, Lava Girl (actually, on Saturday, Gazelle Girl will be the first lady of cycling, but let’s not tell Lava Girl……) plans to be there along with our intrepid hero, the Sharkman!

Is this a great country or what!

Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, will go to the regular start to marshal up the Minions who don’t read any of this important “stuff” and show up there. He will then meet the Gazelle Girl group heading north out of town where Gazelle Girl will win the honorary first sprint of the day!

HOWEVER, YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO START FROM THE GAZELLE GIRL ESTATE!

After the finishing sprint, the Nation will head straight to Gazelle Girl’s Estate on HJ Ave. 
instead of the Klutch.  Gazelle Girl digs are very close to the finish of the ride!

This will be one great event that no Minion will want to miss!

Saturday, June 9 – Gazelle Girl’s Birthday Ride!

Launch Time 8:30 A.M. – SHARP from the normal start - a few minutes later from the Gazelle Estate!

If you can’t make the ride, come on out to the post ride activity around 10:15 a.m.!

Anyone who is anyone in the world of cycling with BE THERE!


LOST & FOUND!

Belo News
June 2, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - Found on sidewalk outside the side door of the KK last Saturday: one inner tube - like new! Come to Gazelle Girl's birthday party to claim the tube! 

Were you parked outside the Klutch last Saturday morning? Are you missing a tube?

SAFETY MOMENT WITH THE SHARKMAN

Belo News
June 2, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. – As dawn broke over the Shark Cove last Saturday, and as our hero got ready to ride to the KK-TdG, he opened the garage door and found Nikeboy, ready to escort our hero to the start.  It had been some time since Nikeboy had ridden with the Nation and Sharkman was pleased to have him along for the trip over to the start.

The morning was brisk but comfortable as a number of the Minions rode in for the start of the ride.  As the two riders rode into Galesburg they picked up Danimal at the light in front of the Klutch and they waved to the crowd gathering there to watch the start of the ride.

As they rolled into the parking lot they were met by Brewman, B-Rod, Ranger Rick and Hoosier Boy.  As the start time approached Bissell Boy, Tow Truck and Toast pulled in as well as the Cannon who was running late and said he would catch up with the start and to go ahead.

Somewhere north of the Klutch, Hossman jumped on as well as Gazelle Girl for a total of 13 riders on the day, however, Nikeboy had to head home and dropped off shortly after the start.  Someone in the crowd asked where Polar Bear was and when Sharkman speculated that he thought he had gone up north for the weekend, the comment was offered, “not cold enough for him here this week?”

B-Rod and Toast paced the Sharkman to the honorary opening sprint and the ride picked up pace as the mighty train pulled past the col de Twin lakes, over 89 and past the Yorkville Church.

Hoosier Boy and Hossman went to the front and ran a very controlled pace through the normally very fast Country Club section, where the entire nation came together to attack the stop ahead at route 43.

The riders formed back up at the top of the col de Norte and an informal, but well working pace line formed through the Bible Conference Hills and on to the C Ave. sprint where the Cannon pushed through to win.

As the pace line formed south of the Digital Divide, the Cannon took off at the front and Bissell Boy went ahead to try to form up the pace line, but the Minions didn’t seem to want to play that game and a messy train formed up as the riders headed to the GGG spot.  That is where the “incident” occurred that provides this space for a “Sharkman Safety Moment.”

Sharkman – “we need to remind everyone, including the Sharkman hizself, that we are getting a bit careless at intersections and crossings.  As the Mighty Nation stopped at the G Ave. crossing, several cars were coming in both directions.  One rider went ahead, followed by another, and then the Sharkman hizself pushed out shouting, “car left.”  Unfortunately, another rider was drawn out by the move, directly into the path of the Audi that was barreling down on the intersection.  The rider, trying to stop, was caught right in front of the car and if not for the fantastic braking system of the Audi car and the quick reflexes of the lady driver, a major catastrophe might have taken place.  The screech of the brakes and the sound of the skid froze the nations hearts and the close call brought home how we need to ALL CROSS THE INTERSECTIONS AT THE SAME TIME AND NOT TAKE UP THE ENTIRE INTERSECTION WHEN WE STOP.  When one rider makes the move, others assume it is safe to follow and as Minions we need to watch out for one another, so we all cross together and we need to form up tighter at the intersections so that cars turning right can do so around us!  Nuff said…..”

With rapidly beating hearts, the nation headed south with Cannon, Bissell Boy, Sharkman, Ranger Rick, Hoosier Boy, Hossman, and Brewman went to the front to take the speed up.  All the riders seemed impatient as the Mighty Nation crested the final hill and began to break for the finish.

Hoosier Boy went early and the Cannon used him to launch his attack with B-Rod and Sharkman in hot pursuit.

Sharkman attempted to go around B-Rod, but B-Rod was up to the challenge and fought of the surging Shark to take second with the Cannon on top of the podium and Sharkman making the podium for the second week in a row!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation rode to the Klutch.

The buzz at the Klutch was primarily about the gala Birthday the following Saturday and how anyone who is anyone in cycling will be attending! 

Be there!


SQUEAKY, YOU MUDDER YOU!

Kalamazoo Gazette photo of our own Squeaky!
Belo News
June 2, 2012

Kalamazoo, Mi. – Guess who has a second calling!?  None other than the Style Guy himself, our one and only Squeaky!  This guy does it all!

Caught here in this Kalamazoo Gazette Photo, we see our own Squeaky not only running in this muddy event, but taking first in his age group! Great job Sqeakman, you made the Mighty Minion Nation proud.  After the event, Squeaky was quoted as saying, “While you guys were out enjoying the morning on a pleasant ride, I dressed up try to bring some respectability to myself.”  O.K. Squeakster, whatever you say!  All we know is that you were “styling” in those mud laden cloths and we loved the gloves!

(Where else can you get in-depth, hard hitting writing like this?  Is this a great country or what?)

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

Belo News
June 5, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. – Though the wind was down for a change, the riders were up as All Black, Hoosier Boy, Airman, Cheddarhead and Rainman headed out for the Tuesday Night Chain Gang ride sans Sharkman.  Just before the start our hero had texted Rainman and All Black to say to go ahead as Mother Kellogg was going to get everything they could out of the old Shark before he retires!

Sharkman got a late start and rode the ride in reverse catching up with the chain gang as they came back into Augusta.  The six riders then headed back and finished with an average speed of 20.4 mph. 

Sharkman was quoted as stating that apparently the record cannot be broken without the Shark in the peloton for the entire ride!

If you are looking for some great pace line work, this is the ride for you!

Tuesdays, 6:00 p.m. from Kellogg HQ upper parking ramp!  Come on out!


DON'T FORGET JUNE 16 TOUR DE TAYLOR RIDE!

Belo News
June 6, 2012

Mattawan, Mi. - We want to remind everyone that the Tour de Taylor is coming up on Saturday June 16, when the KK-TdG will be suspended so that the Mighty Minion Nation can take part in this important event. Sharkman is planning to ride and is hoping the Nation will follow! All proceeds go to Make a Wish so click on the website now and join Sharkman for the ride!
Rides of 10/30 and 62 are available!