 |
| Stingray (file photo) |
STINGRAY TAKES THE
TAPE!
WIN FOR TEAM MOOTS!
WIN FOR TEAM MOOTS!
AIRMAN: WORKHORSE OF THE PELOTON!
WHO WAS THAT RIDER IN THE MYSTERY PHOTO?
Belo News
April 25, 2012
Stingray
Galesburg, Mi. – With our intrepid hero, the Sharkman,
AWOL yet again, Minion Stingray submitted the following, very well crafted
report, on last week’s action!
Official report to the Commissioner of Cycling regarding
last Saturday’s ride:
It appeared to be a beautiful sunny Saturday morning over
the KK-TdG-Field of Dreams, except the temperature was only in the mid 30’s and
there was a mean wind coming in from the northeast. Nevertheless, 6
fearless minions clipped in at 9am sharp! All Black, Airman, Cheddar
Head, Brewman, Stingray, and new rider Kevin Long---nickname TBD, but a
possible nickname could be Polar Bear as he was the only one to ride in just
shorts and a jersey---brrr! Welcome Kevin!
As the minions rode past the Koffee Klutch and waved hello
to Luann, they noticed fellow minion Pirate in the parking lot fixing a
flat. Well trained by their intrepid hero, they waited for Pirate while
he readied his trusty steed. With the flat fixed the peloton of now 7
riders rolled out of town. As we headed north the ride was social
as the cold wind made it feel like an early March ride. Gazelle Girl
quickly joined on to the shouts of “Gazelle Girl!” As always, Sharkman
won the first sprint. As the riders approached the Cul de Twin Lakes the
speed picked up, the riders launched up the hill, and heading towards the stop
ahead it looked like Brewman would cross the line first. Airman, however
had victory plans of his own and caught onto Brewman’s wheel, quickly attacked
and was able to win the sprint! It would be the first of many victories
for Airman.
As we neared Gull Lake High School the riders stopped for
another flat. This time it was on Airman’s bike. It was determined
the flat was caused by the unprecedented levels of torque applied to the wheels
during the previous sprint. The flat was quickly fixed and the minions
pushed on!The pace continued to be friendly as most riders were just happy to find a wheel to tuck in behind as the blustery wind continued to batter them. Soon after the last stop for the flat repair the minions were joined by Squeaky, wearing his patented parachute pants and somewhat-matching jacket. Trending away from the “I-just-got-in-a-fight-with-a-Badger” look, Squeaky chose to use a leg cover (or was it a tube sock?) on his right leg so the remaining shreds of material would not get caught in the chain. Good thinking!
The pack of 9 riders made the turn south they began to warm up some, though the thought of a bottomless kup of koffee was still great motivation to keep pedaling. Airman continued to rack up sprint victories, while Kevin, aka Polar Bear, snagged a victory for himself on the sprint up to the inlet. After crossing G ave, Airman took the reins with yet another monster pull. As the minions crested the last hill leading to the final sprint, Airman pulled off, with his fellow minions saluting him for his herculean efforts of the day! Brewman quickly took over the duties of leading the minions charging towards the finish in a pull of epic proportions, with Stingray and All Black on his wheel. With the finish in sight, Stingray swung out and accelerated, crossing the line first in what is being described as a “rare, fluke-like victory”! All Black, riding velvety smooth on his Kuota, squeaked into second and Brewman took 3rd. It was a great victory for Steamboat Springs, CO as the Moots team took 2 podium spots! As the riders arrived back in town the throngs of fans were shouting “Moooooooots!” “Moooooooots!”. Is this a great country or what?
 |
| The Mystery Rider! Zickman |
Inside the clutch Luann presented the minions with a photo
of a rider who actually showed up to ride on the previous rainy Saturday.
Realizing no one was going to show, they rode to the Klutch for Koffee, and
Luann snapped a photo for evidence. Ironically, none of the minions
present this week were able to identify this lone minion in the picture for 3
reasons: The top of the photo was a little dark, the rider had taken off
his helmet and sunglasses, and none of the minions looking at the picture had
their glasses with them! The photo was submitted to the Commissioner of
Cycling for further investigation and it was determined that the lone-wolf
rider was……………Zickman!!
You won’t want to miss this week’s edition of the KK-Tdg!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, is out in Santa Fe testing
bikes with his son in law, the Great Moultini!
Watch the blog for “possible” posts of his adventures out west! Sharkman hopes to return for the May 5, 2012
KK-TdG! Is this a great country or what?
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!
Belo News
April 24, 2012
Battle Creek, Mi. – “It was an angry sea, my friends!” Or
at least that is what Sharkman and Rainman were thinking as they were the only
ones who launched at 6:00 p.m. SHARP from Kellogg HQ! With winds of 25 mph, gusting to over 200 mph
(O.K. it just seemed that way) Sharkman suggested a 30/30 approach to the
ride. Sharkman would do 30 second pulls
while Rainman would do 30 minute pulls.
Rainman wasn’t buying it, but was on fire for the night.
Looking AND riding like Andy Schleck , he and the
Sharkman fought their way out to G Ave., bucking what seemed like hurricane
winds, the two crested the G Ave. hill only to face even greater winds as
Rainman threw his chain. In the twink of an eye, Rainman had it fixed and was
on point once again.
As they turned south on 37th Street, the
average was at a lowly 17.1 mph and our riders were gasping for air!
With the winds at their back for the return, the cagey
veteran Sharkman volunteered to pull the entire way back, but Rainman was in no
mood to ride in the back seat for long!
With Sharkman holding on for dear life, Rainman took speeds up to 25 mph
on the return to the Cereal City!
As the two turned onto Jackson, Sharkman shouted out for
Rainman to go for it, but he would have none of it! The two hung together, making up incredible
time, for a finish average of 19.9 mph despite the crushing northwest winds! Oh
the humanity!
Next Tuesday, May 1, 2012 – Yes May Day, May Day!
Launch time – 6:00 p.m. SHARP from Kellogg HQ upper
parking deck!
THE STYLE GUY!
 |
| The Squeak Man |
I find that when I wear long pants, especially when I
commute to work, my pant legs get caught in the crank and make a darn mess of
my cuffs. This not only can leave a “grease
tattoo” on my pants, but sometimes I actually get them caught in the crank and
completely shred them. Someone told me
to put a rubber band around my leg, but that didn’t seem to work well. Is there anything the King of Style can suggest
to this torn pants rider?
Signed: Bance Barmstrong
Dear Bance,
Rubber Bands?
Rubber Bands? What kind of style
is that? No style at all I say!
For years, I have mastered the fine art of what I call, “Squeaky
Stuffing!” Yes, there isn’t anything you
can’t stuff in your shorts, jersey or even your socks! I’ve stuffed pumps, water bottles, broken
watches, small animals and even a 12 inch black and white TV into my
socks! Not all at one time mind you, but
you can really pack the “stuff” away!
And you know how we style riders like our “stuff!”
So here is what you do, Bunkie! Stuff those pant legs into, you guessed it,
your socks! Just tuck those cuffs away
into the friendly confines of your very own socks and enjoy riding in style like me, the Squeakman!
Squeaky
No comments:
Post a Comment