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| The Squeak Man himself! |
B-ROD TAKES THE TAPE!
HEY, JUST HOW COLD WAS IT?
NO SHARKMAN FOR THREE WEEKS? OH THE HUMANITY!
Belo News
March 31, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. – As dawn broke crisp and cold over the Shark
Cove, our intrepid hero was texting both Rainman and Yeti Boy, trying to determine
logistics for the mornings running of the KK-TdG. Actually, the communication had begun the
night before when first, Yeti Boy offered to give our hero a ride to the start
and then, when Rainman sent a text message asking the old Shark if he was riding
in the morning.
As Sharkman checked the temperature on the Shark Weather
Station, it was registering a very chilly 32 degrees and our hero convinced
himself that he would hitch a ride to the start with Yeti Boy and then could
ride home. Meanwhile, Rainman did not
return Sharkman’s text until close to launch time.
Rainman’s text read, “Rainman stuck to bed and can’t get
out! Enjoy the ride!” to which the old Shark replied, “Sleepless?”
When Yeti Boy arrived in his pick-up truck, Sharkman threw a
blanket over the side and his bike on top when he noticed the back of the truck
was loaded with tree mulch. Oh, the humanity!
This was turning into a strange morning, but there was more to come!
When Sharkman pulled up in Yeti Boy’s truck, he took a bit
of ribbing from B-Rod and Brewman about not riding over. The riders were going back on how much
clothing to wear when Squeaky came riding up.
Now we all know that Squeaky has a unique dress and gear
code, things like soccer shorts, bike pump stuck in his belt, broken stop
watches stuffed in his socks, etc. But
Squeaky brought his sense of style to a new sartorial splendor on Saturday.
In gear that could best be described as “Good Will Cycling
Attire” Squeaky rode up with so many layers of clothing on that no one was sure
if he was going on a trip to Antarctica or modeling for “Homeless Weekly”
Magazine!
Squeaky was wearing tights under sweat pants with cuffs that
looked like they had been run through his front crank, a jacket with a burn
hole at the elbow that looked like he rolled over into the campfire, a muffler
around his neck and a thick stocking cap with winter weight gloves!
Falcon and All Black rode up and Falcon questioned if
Sharkman had been riding his Litespeed on the trails at Fort Custer. Sharkman looked
down and noticed his front crank was loaded with the lawn mulch from Yeti Boy’s
truck bed and hastily began brushing it off!
Filling out the mornings starters were Racker (formally Pat)
Airman, and Airman.
As the Ten riders rode through town, the crowd at the Klutch
came out, led by Mary, one of Sharkman’s major “groupies” and waved a hello
with her broken wrist in a cast!
As the train headed north out of Galesburg, Gazelle Girl was
greeted with a shout of welcome from the peloton as Airman started to make a
move to the front. All Black came
forward and pulled our hero back to Airman’s wheel, and then Falcon came up to
signal he would pull Sharkman to the honorary first sprint.
Airman continued to feel frisky as he and Falcon toyed with
each other going into the next sprint and at the col de Twin Lakes. Yeti Boy also made an impressive move at the
sprint after the col de Twin lakes.
The Country Club section was its usual speed session as the
riders formed up after the sprint to Rt. 43.
As the Nation moved to the top of the col de Norte, and the
sun began to cause the temperature to rise, Squeaky started to show the effects
of his several layers of clothes.
Normally a perennial pack rider, Squeaky began to suffer on
the hills. Not only was the heat causing major problems for the rider, but the
weight of the extra clothes was beginning to take its toll!
As the nation formed up at Frona’s, they waited for Squeaky
and as he rode up he stated he was taking the cut off to the inlet and Racker,
taking pity on the rider, volunteered to ride with him.
With Squeaky fading fast in the heat, the Minion Train
formed up a very nice pace line as they headed to the GGG sprint. The Nation complained that with the condition
of the road, it is getting more difficult to form a pace line on the pot hole
riddled section of road!
A move was made to launch Gazelle Girl to the sprint that is
named after her, but Falcon covered it, stealing it from the first lady of the
peloton!
With Squeaky nowhere to be found, the Minions headed south
to the finish.
With both Hossman AND Tow Truck AWOL, Sharkman was concerned
about a bunch finish, especially with Airman, B-Rod, Falcon and Brewman acting
as though they were chomping at the bit to get to the Galesburg High School!
Airman led out, and then Falcon, as the fast moving train
ascended the hill before the decent to the finish.
At the top of the hill, the entire train slowed, as no one
wanted to lead out.
Airman, Brewman, Falcon, All Black and B-Rod all looked back
at Sharkman as if to say, “well….?”
Sharkman, shouting, “O.K., let the old guy do it!” took off
down the hill and pedaling with all he had tried his best to imitate Hossman
and Tow Truck! Hitting speeds of 23-24
mph, the pull didn’t last long as the testosterone set was all too anxious to
rock!
First Falcon, then B-Rod, Brewman and All Black went around
our hero like he was standing still!
With the finishing tape in sight, B-Rod rode Falcon’s wheel
and then timing his move exactly, he went around Falcon for the win with Brewman
taking the third spot on the podium.
Ride average 18.4 mph!
The tofosi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the
crowds waited for Squeaky to arrive.
Luanne was back at the Klutch serving up the Koffee and
after most of the riders had their joe in hand, in walked the now 30 pound
lighter Squeaky!
Squeaky, having been completely dehydrated from the ride in
the polar Good Will clothing, put down 4 or 5 large glasses of lemonade as he
gave a speech on proper cold weather riding attire!
Oh, the humanity!
During the ensuing press conference, Sharkman broke the news
that he will miss the next 3 weeks due to a wedding, a church commitment and a
trip to Santa Fe to test bikes for Outside and to visit his Sharklets! Oh, the
humanity two times!
But the ride will go on!
Saturday April 14, 2012
Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!
NEW "STYLE GUIDE" TO BE EDITED BY SQUEAKY!
Belo News
April 11, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. – We here at Belo News are all about
style! As all Minions know, the motto
that all Minions repeat is “If you can’t be good, look good!” and who can do it
better than Squeaky! Yes, our own
Squeaky has agreed to edit the new Belo News Style Guide!
So get your questions ready and fire away! No question too outrageous for our own
Squeaky!
Watch for the Style Guide coming to Belo News soon!
NO TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE…..AGAIN?
Belo News
April 11, 2012
Battle Creek, Mi. – The Tuesday night ride has yet to get
started! Actually, at start time this
past Tuesday it was snowing!
But the Tuesday Night Minion East Ride with try again
next Tuesday and it is hoped that Sharkman will be in attendance to lead the
ride!
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