WHAT RAIN?

DUTCH TAKES THE TAPE!

SHARK WEEK ON DISCOVERY!

Belo News
July 31, 2010
Reporter - Dutch

Galesburg, Mi. – Where was the Sharkman on Saturday morning? That was the question going around Saturday morning as the Mighty Minion Nation prepared to launch! Could our intrepid hero be missing? Not our Sharkman!

Oh, but yes. This legend in his own mind, missing in action? Could it be, could it possibly be?

Born of killer whales, raided by great whites, turned over to land mammals at a young age, trained early in the way of the bike and now leader of the pack, the Mighty Minion Nation, he would certainly be there….SOoooo let’s see what did happen to our hero.

Oh, yes, it is Shark Week on Discovery and though they should have a segment specifically addressing the adventures of our intrepid hero, he wasn't watching the tube. No, his absence is a much less complicated story……

As dawn broke wet over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero was having a hard time pushing back the shark bed spread and jumping out of his warm, cozy bed like he usually does. After completing the WAM Ride the previous weekend, suffering the indignity of three flat tires in pouring rain, washing his bike not once, but twice, and putting in a number of miles during the week both on rides and commuting to work, the normally bandy little shark was thinking it might be nice to sleep in on a Saturday. It seemed our hero may have been suffering from a bit of mid season burn out.

As he pushed back the shark drapes on the Cove’s windows he realized the roads outside were wet and it looked dark and foreboding in the ocean, so he clicked on the Shark Radar and it was then he saw the ominous green rain clouds bearing down on his field of dreams, the KK-TdG. It was an angry sea on this Saturday morning.

Our hero reset the shark alarm and climbed back into his warm and inviting bed. “I’ll drive over and then make the call on whether to ride or not.….” he thought as he drift back off to sleep.

When the alarm went off again, our hero checked the radar and the green cloud was still there, still advancing on his beloved course. He shot an email note off to Wolf King stating, “Are you riding? Too wet for me.” to which the reply came back, “I’m on my way to the start!” Sharkman wasn’t sure what to do when the next email arrived from Wolf King….”21 riders at start!”

Sharkman replied, “Yeah, right….” But when Wolf King didn’t respond, he realized he wasn’t joking but was RIDING. By now, it was 8:15 a.m. and our hero was still in his shark pajama’s. Uh, Oh, Game on! And Sharkman was missing his first start in 5 years! Oh the humanity of it all!

Lava Girl sat there, sipping her coffee and watching the shark fret, shaking her head and saying, “you better get going Shark Boy (she likes to keep him in his place)!” With that, Sharkman threw on his kit, pumped his tires and headed out to launch at 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

The Shark hustled to the course and headed north on the west side of the lake. He thought he might get a bit further before he saw the Mighty Minion Nation, moving like a freight train as they came through the Digital Divide on to the 3GZone. As a matter of fact, he almost took them all out as he made a U-turn in front of them. There were indeed, 21 Minions in the peloton as they began bearing down on the 3GZone.

Sharkman thought he might get some sympathy from his loyal Minions, but instead was showered with the scorn of the peloton, “Where were you!” “Chicken!” “Afraid of a little wet road!”

Oh, how fleeting fame……

Dutch, winner of the final sprint, now takes over to report on the ride and the finish.

Dutch writes;

I thought I would pass along at least my results from the minion ride last Saturday. Due to the Sharkman’s conspicuous absence I thought it only appropriate to take the honorary Sharkman sprint on 36th St. I also took the sprint at the 3 GZone. And of course I took the final sprint (for the very first time) to claim the top spot on the podium riding for Cascarelli's/Arcadia Brewing/Team Active Racing (you have to mention the sponsor). It was so momentous that I was greeted by a podium girl (Mrs. Dutch, now forever to be referred to as Duchess) at the Klutch. (Welcome Duchess!)

(Editors Note – The other two spots on the podium were filled out by Bissell Boy and Brewman! They, however, were not greeted by any podium girls and have filed the appropriate protests and grievance with the Cycling Commission.)

Not that I'm conceited, but that is all I remember from the ride (Editors note – welcome to Sharkman’s world!)

Oh, except that the breakaway was almost taken out by a wayward cyclist on 37th St. (Editors note – uh, that would be Sharkman hisself!)

(Editors note - Luann was at the Klutch to greet everyone for the Press Conference and the major topic of discussion was Dutch’s cycling cap and how good he looked in it. He seemed to have left that part out of the story, so we prompted him to respond, particularly since podium girl Duchess, didn’t not seem to agree with how he looked in the cap.) Back to Dutch....

Yes, I did forget about the cycling cap. The Duchess hates it and also my shaved legs. But she knows that I never do anything half-assed. I'm a cyclist, and it all goes with the territory. (Well said, Dutch, well said……)

SHERMINATOR THIS SATURDAY!

BEWARE!

COURSE CHANGE?

Belo News
August 7, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – This weekend the Sherminator takes place and we all remember what happened last year when the Mighty Minion Nation tangled with the last place participant who decided to take a left turn into the peloton and take out three of our own.

Since the Sharkman will not be present this Saturday, it will be up to the peloton to make the decision to either declare a “Neutral Zone” between the Digital Divide and the 3GZone with no racing or pace lines, or take a southern route and miss the race entirely. We do not want to see the kind of carnage we had last year so BE SAFE OUT THERE!

The Sharkman “STRONGLY” recommends avoiding the Sherminator area completely. (see email)

Bissell Boy hopes to have a southern route figured out, but if he is not there, hopefully, the Minions will be careful!

This Saturday, August 7, 2010

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

Well, except for the Sharkman who will be at the Marin County Century in California! Good Luck Sharkman and Son in Laws, MK and the Great Moultini!

WILDMAN IN CHINA?

Belo News
August 3, 2010
Reporter - Wildman

Shanghai, China - Wildman reporting in from Shanghai! It's hot, humid, crowded and busy. But in the midst of all this, Wildman found the Trek store!

I went in there in search of a "steal" on a knock-off Madone, but guess what? Those suckers are expensive EVERYWHERE! So, I settled for the one and only jersey they had in a 2XL (Wildman likes his potstickers if you know what I mean), which is a pretty cool Australian race jersey. I did get a steal on that, as it was only $200RMB, or about $30! And then the young man you see in the picture threw in a cool hat, which has the "Merida" bike brand name in Chinese characters, and a key chain. Is China a great country or what?

I look forward to sporting my new rags in this weekend's KK-TdG, ankle permitting.

Have a great week,

Wildman

P.S. Feel free to share the above in this week's blog. (oh, not a problem Wildman, we did!)

DEALS ON BISSELL JERSEY’S AND BIBS?

Bissell Boy Scores for the Nation!

Belo News
August 4, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – Bissell Boy scores again for the Mighty Minion Nation! He has advised Belo News that he can get Bissell Jerseys for a measly $50.00 and Bissell Bibs for an incredible $60.00 for the Mighty Minion Nation! (Heck, quality bibs run for $100-$175 anywhere else!) Hey, you don’t want to be caught with you Bibs down and not have Bissell Bibs on Bissell Jersey Day, do you Bunkie?

All Minions should be supporting Michigan’s only and best pro team in the U.S. peloton!

If you would like to take advantage of this one time offer, you can contact Bissell Boy at;

lancaster@employmentgroup.com

Bissell Jersey Day is right around the corner, Bunkie! Boot up that computer now and start your order!