Wednesday, August 28, 2013

He'ssssss back! Oh, the humanity!
THE SHARKMAN RETURNETH!

WHAT HAPPENED LAST SATURDAY?

WAS THERE A THURSDAY NIGHT RIDE!

LABOR DAY WEEKEND BEER JERSEY RIDE!


Belo News
August 28, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - Joy will soon return to that field of dreams the Nation affectionately knows as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull this next weekend as their long lost Patron, the Sharkman, returns to the peloton!  After his longest absence since beginning the "official" KK-TdG 8 years ago, our hero has been present for most of the rides and only occasionally missed two weeks in a row.  But with his absence the past THREE weeks, the Nation has cried out, "Where the hell is Sharkman!" and those cries have been heard!

This Saturday, the Sharkman returns for Beer Jersey Day as our Nation celebrates Labor Day, the traditional close of summer!  The Nation will honor this holiday by downing their favorite "Beer Jerseys" for the Saturday ride, and the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jerseys qualify for the day!  So put on those jersey's and saddle up to help the old Shark celebrate his return to his beloved Nation!

This Saturday, August 31, 2013

BEER JERSEY/BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY DAY!

Don't miss this ride as it is hoped to be a banner turn out!

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!  

BE THERE!

SPEAKING OF THOSE JERSEYS!

Belo News
August 28, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Speaking of those fantastic Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey's, if you missed out on ordering them, Gazelle Girl is taking new orders for them!  The sizing chart is attached to the Update email and you can still order them by contacting Gazelle Girl, ASAP! 

Orders are due to Gazelle Girl (joan.o@comcast.net / 665-4555) by September 9. Sizing chart with critical info attached.

Don't miss out on this opportunity for a second time, Bunkie!  Get to your email NOW!


WHAT HAPPENED LAST SATURDAY?

ZICKMAN RULED, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!

NEW MINION IN THE NATION!

Belo News
August 24, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Fortunately, Ace Reporter Gazelle Girl reported in with the following update on last weeks ride!


Greetings Sharkman -

I hope your latest adventure was divine.

Welcome to Miller Draft!
I don't have a lot to report about Saturday's ride. It was very pleasant! About a baker's dozen on hand.

The best part was that - as best I can remember - the powerful Zickman claimed EVERY sprint but two. In a grand show of respect he GAVE Gazelle Girl the GGG Spot Sprint, even though at the Digital Divide she verbally turned it over to him in order to enable him to continue his amazing winning streak. B-Rod took the coveted final sprint by a fingernail. (Sorry, can't recall who he was battling it out with.)

Thank you, Sharkman. Hope to see you - at last - this Saturday!
GG

Kia Pet also reported in that the Nation had a Virgin Minion in the mix. Scott Miller (aka Miller Draft)
joined Kia Pet, Nick Head, Novverr & Karnes, riding over from Portage!  Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Miller Draft!



WHAT HAPPENED TO THE THURSDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG RIDE?

Belo News
August 27, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - Though the old Shark has been missing for most of the Tuesday Night Chain Gang Rides, the ride has gone on!  Last week, when the Shark was in town, he and Rainman took on the course only to have Rainman flat in the final leg without his spare tube! Oh, the humanity!  Sharkman's extra tube stem was too short and Tardette had to be called to the rescue.  This week, Rainman thought he might be riding alone but the Legendary Tow Truck showed up to motor him around the course.  Here is Ace Reporter Rainman's report!


Sharkman,

Minion Nation didn't disappoint on the Tuesday evening Chain Gang ride!  Just when Rainman thought he would ride solo, All Black stepped up to toe the line.  Is this a great country or what?!

All Black and Rainman casually headed west on River Road when they were met by none other than the world famous Tow Truck!  The trio headed into Augusta, slowed to sign a few autographs for die-hard fans, then All Black peeled off to head home and Tow Truck and Rainman continued the course to attack G Ave with vigor.  With a bit of foreshadowing in Rainman's email about bringing a spare tube, Rainman needed it on the second set of hills on G after he experience a puncture (for the second Tuesday in a row), but this time due to the fresh (and SHARP) chip-and-seal.  Our Jr. Hero changed the flat in no-time, despite the sticky sweat dripping in his eyes on the 90 degree day, and the duo were back on the road swapping pulling positions on the lead-into the Minion Finish.

Average speed on the loop from/to Augusta was monitored north of 22mph with periods of 26mph with a bit of a tail wind heading back east.  Oh the humanity, that Tow Truck is fast!!!

Rainman said 'au revoir' to the Tow Truck at the Shell Station in Augusta and finished the ride solo for an 'unofficial' 20 mph average* for the day.  Overall,  a great conclusion as the 'official' Tuesday evening ride winds-down for the year.

Rainman will likely try one last 'go' next week should he not have class on Tuesdayevening starting up after Labor Day.

SO, next week (maybe)...

5:30 (SHARP) Launch for H.Q. upper deck parking lot.


*results didn't officially make the record book since Rainman ended the ride solo and two Minions need to cross the line for the an official time-stamp.

RM

BREWMAN REPORTS IN FROM CYCLE GREATER YELLOWSTONE!
Brewman at the top of Beartooth Pass!  11,000 ft. up!

Belo News
August 26, 2013

Yellow Stone National Park - Brewman has been out west again, enjoying the western mountains and climbing like a fly on the wall.  He reported in this week on his latest escapedes!

Sharkman,  

I just completed a week long ride called Cycle Greater Yellowstone. One of the highlights was riding up Beartooth Pass, 11,000 feet elevation. The tour had 750 riders. It was the first year and was modeled after Cycle Oregon. The entire event was very well organized with awesome support, communities, people and riding! Check out the website:


Oh and did I mention awesome regional beer wine at camp each evening.

Brewman


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED HUGE SUCCESS!
Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Nation!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News Exclusive
August 17, 2013

Zickman Estate, Mi. - 
As dawn broke over the Triple Nasty Rancho the only thing louder than the screaming alarm clock was the sound of Gazelle Girl crying out “BLOODY ‘ELL!” as she leapt out of bed. This was the only encouragement Toe Setter needed to get his Saturday morning started earlier than usual, and soon the pair was washing down raisin bagels with steaming koffee whilst smearing on sunscreen and walking the dog. Do these two know how to multi-task or what?

Having already dropped off the party supplies and a vehicle at Zickman’s the previous evening, the

The entire Bloody 'Ell 'Undred cast!
duo donned their handsome BEU jerseys and set off on the gradual climb up to Zickman’s abode. (Oh, yes, they donned some bike shorts, too. C’mon. It’s not THAT great a country.)

Party Planners Gazelle Girl and Zickman with his brother, Tom Slick!
Zickman and his brother Tom (aka Tom Slick) - in from Park City - were up and dressed with their steeds at the ready… Zickman having generously passed on his coveted WOODY to his dear brother. How’s that for a bit of brotherly love? Wow.

Toe Setter assembled the bar and got the lounge music going whilst Gazelle Girl set out her special Bloody ‘ell ‘undred deviled eggs. And the guests proceeded to pour in…

Order of appearance is not germane to this listing, thus it has been ignored. In attendance were the already above mentioned Minions plus Bissell Boy, Boatman, B-Rod, Chico, Easty, Hoosier Boy, Polar Bear, Psychocross, Ranger Rick, Rollin (insert nickname here), Stryker Guy, Tow Truck, Wildman and Yeti Boy - who took the Nation by storm, making his entrance carrying two pans of STILL WARM cinnamon rolls that were OUT OF THIS WORLD! (And a fab accompaniment to the bloodies, if I do say so myself. And I also must say so myself: what are the chances that when one Minion needs to be called out in an alphabetical listing that Minion should happen to fall at the END of the list where a callout is best placed? Kismet!)
Boatman, Wildman, Toe Setter & Ranger Rick ready to rock!


Chico was THE MAN by hauling in a gigantic gallon of Absolut vodka via shopping bag aboard his bike. The vodka was Gazelle Girl’s suggestion when Chico inquired about contributing to the party, figuring some may like their bloody a bit stiffer than Toe Setter could muster. (This line of thinking should by no means be construed as relating to any domestic matters in the Gazelle Girl/Toe Setter household.)

After an hour of fellowship and a few photo snaps the group was off. Well, some of the group was off. A few kindly, patient folks stayed to watch Stryker Guy fiddle with some such on his bike. Gazelle Girl, for one, was just happy not to be standing in a pouring rain this time around.

No caption needed, eh Bunkie?
This early fissure appeared to set the tone for the first leg of the event as there would be many more fissures to come even after the lead group received a strong reminder via African proverb at the Doster Community Reformed Church. (See related photo.)

Ground rule for next year… Leave No Minion(s) Behind unless said Minion states, “Oh, go ahead without me. I’ll snag a shortcut.” This is a TOUR, replete with vodka and beer, and fun sights to see (although unlike the opportunistic Sharkman, we do not charge for viewing our route’s attractions). Expect a bit more leisurely pace than the regular Saturday A.M. Minion ride. And Leave No Minion Behind.

We, again, enjoyed great service from the folks at the Walldorff. And we, again, enjoyed the extreme generosity of two of our own, with Tow Truck picking up the lunch tab for a second year and Stryker Guy footing the beer tab. Need I even say it? Is this a great country or what? THANK YOU Tow Truck and Stryker Guy!

The ride back was far more “together” and chatty than the ride out. No big hurry this year as B-Rod had learned his lesson about trying to bend time and had not promised Mrs. B-Rod that he would be back for chores by 2 pm.
Tow Truck and Gazelle Girl!


Several Minions stretched out their well used legs on Zickman’s patio to enjoy yet more fellowship and a variety of beers from Zickman’s vast collection. We were delighted with a visit from the lovely Gwen, Wildman’s other half, who found Toe Setter’s bloodies to be just stiff enough.

We think all will agree, the Bloody ‘ell ‘undred jerseys were quite fetching in the brilliant sunlight. If you didn’t order one… well, you should. Contact Gazelle Girl atjoan.o@comcast.net. Next order goes in September 9. $55. No change.

Thanks to all who came out for the BEU. Sharkman really needs to plan to stay home some time and join us.

Oh, and we should all get ourselves a Minion license plate!

Yours truly,
The mighty Nation on the road!

In front of the Waldorf
Tow Truck
Tow Truck as the Paparatzi! 
Gazelle Girl
Is Wildman a Wildman or what?

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

RAINMAN WINS THEN DQ'S SELF!
Virgin Minions Ringo (Jim), Charlie & Paul! 

BATHROOM MECHANICAL? WHAT THE ……?

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP!

GAZELLE GIRL CELEBRATES 20 YEARS AT GAZELLE SPORTS!

ICEMAN REPORTS ON THE WAM!

SHARKMAN MISSING IN ACTION?

Belo News
August 3, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, pulled back the shark bedspread and padded his way to the shark koffee maker, he noticed how dark it was outside.  Though the summer months and the long daylight hours are slowly coming to an end, our hero didn't think it should be so soon!  A closer looked out the window revealed heavy fog, which was confirmed as our hero pulled up his shark radar and weather forecast site.  Oh, the humanity!

Sharkman got his lights loaded on his steed and noticed that Nike Boy was circling the Cove and that Rainman was suited up and ready to ride!

Ride on!

As the trio headed out of the Cove they were joined by Stingray, doing his first ride over of the season.

Mad Dog had already been out riding in the fog and had gotten 10 miles in before his flashing light cut through the fog to announce his approach to the four Minions.

It was quite a light show as the four riders made their way to the start blinking red in their wake.  

Rainman and Mad Dog pushed the pace, causing them to get to the start somewhat early only to find some other early Minions, as well as some virgin Minions.

Brewman and Easty were there along with first time Minions Jim (now known as Ringo), Charlie and Paul.  All had ridden WAM and had learned about the Nation from other Minions like Easty.

Welcome to the Mighy Minion Naton!

Hambone returns! Check out the fog!
The riders continued to pour in, including Hambone, Wrongway and Yeti Boy who hadn't been out in a few weeks.  Stryker Guy, Sasquatch, All Black, Toast, Boatman, Peugeot Guy, Dave (who was later named "the Hammer"), to name a few. As all Minions know, when the numbers get over 15 and around 20 there is no remembering who was in attendance!

At the stroke of 8:00 A.M. the Nation headed into town and caught Gazelle Girl riding in to join on.

The early morning krew at the Klutch went wild as the Nation passed and headed south instead of north.

Sharkman went up from with All Black to the front to direct the peloton to QMan hill.

Sharkman pointed out the first "tourist site," the Galesburg Speedway.  Some Minions attempted to look away as he shouted out, "Galesburg Speedway, $.50, no change!) but the old Shark was watching those wondering eyes.  Sharkman was really on point as the nation headed south!  

As Sharkman went back and forth attempting to get a count, he got both 20 and 21, so suffice it to say 21 riders were in the Nation as they climbed the hill.

As the Nation crested Qman hill, topping out of the Kalamazoo River Valley, they were greeted with sunshine as the fog lifted and the fields were filled with the beautiful color of a southern Michigan morning!  It was a wonderful day to be a Minion!

The old Shark also moved ahead to attack the first sprint and though contested by Mad Dog, our hero was unsure if Mad Dog gave it to him or not, however, our hero did take the first sprint.

Mad Dog was on fire for the rest of the morning, contesting each sprint and taking many.  Mad Dog was awarded "Most Aggressive Rider" on the day.

Past the now famous waterfall, Cook Cemetery and the Railroad House tourist attractions, the shout of Sharkman continued, "$.50, no change!"

As the Nation turned on the "road to no where" the Shark watched the peloton move up and down the road as the Nation enjoyed the great morning!  When they got to the end of the "road to no where" Sharkman directed Wrongway to take the peloton to the right and immediately wondered if giving Wrongway leadership might be a bad idea!

The old Shark wanted to lengthen the ride, as the previous southern route had come up about 2 miles short of their regular KK- TdG field of dreams.

Sharkman has two loops and thought of adding one.  But the morning was so beautiful and Rainman and Wrongway had taken the lead and were motoring so smoothly, he decided to do both loops.  This would eventually add about 3 miles more than the regular ride, but no one was complaining.

The Rainman/Wrongway tandem took the pace up to 24 mph and the road was newly paved as they circled the Indian Run Golf Club and on to Indian Lake.  

Gazelle Girl asked what lake the Nation was passing when Sharkman stated, "you saw the lake?" To which Gazelle Girl stated "yes!"

Sharkman responded, "Indian Lake, $.50 cents, no change!"

After Indian Lake, Boatman and Sasquatch went to the front with Yeti Boy and Sharkman right behind them. It was as the Nation past the Old Scotts Mill that Wrongway lost a water bottle while crossing some very rough railroad tracks.  As the bottle went into the air, many of the Nation got a brief squirt from the wayward bottle making it sort of like sitting in the front row at the Bellagio in Vegas watching the show "O!"

Sharkman took a hit to the chest of the power drink and as he sucked it off his finger stated, "fruity but not pretentious, good vintage!"

A major discussion then took place concerning the alarming number of times the Nation had to cross railroad tracks!

The Nation took Scotts by storm as spectators along the route cheered their arrival!

As the peloton arrived back at 38th street the Nation came upon a elderly couple on a tandem that seemed shock by the sea of Minion riders. 

Sharkman announced that this was the route back to Qman Hill and the final sprint, though he also told everyone to wait at the MN stop sign.

The Nation picked up speed on the way to MN and two or three different groups broke apart at the peloton moved to MN.

Just at the train was getting serious about the sprint, a shout of "Mechanical!" was heard from the back of the peloton.

Confusion rained down as there were whistles, shouts, hand waving and riders really didn't seem to  know what the mechanical was!  Sharkman, along with some other riders, turned back to investigate only to get a "false alarm" alert and a wave to move ahead.  

It was later learned that Styker Guy needed a comfort break and shouted "Mechanical" to perform the act and not lose his place in the peloton.

Easty responded it was sort of "drama queenish" but the entire peloton was amazed at the speed of Styker Guys "comfort" maneuver.  He responded that "If only I could be as quick in the sprint!"

The Nation was waiting at the MN stop sign with the exception of Boatman who had to get back to
Brewman holds court while Toast checks his stocks!
work.  However, the Nation was right behind him!

Sharkman took an early lead, hoping to break up the peloton before the finish.  With the down hill finish on the descent of Qman Hill, he took the speed up to 30 mph easily.

The finish was like a runaway train as Sharkman noted a top speed of 36.8 mph and other Minions reported greater speed as they approached the finish.

Rainman broke out from the pack with Stringray, Wrongway and Gazelle Girl on his wheel.

Though it ended that way, Rainman immediately DQ'ed himself for crossing the double yellow lines, giving the win to Stingray!  Class act, Rainman and a good reminder to the entire Nation that safety is a priority in the peloton!

Average speed, 19.9 mph!

The Nation also caught Boatman as they rode down the Champs le Galesburg, past their adoring tofosi and the paparazzi!

The Klutch was rocking as the Nation arrived and Stryker Guy bought koffee for our hero!  Is this a
The Klutch was rocking!
great country or what!

Talk centered around "false mechanicals," "bathroom stops," and the upcoming Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!

Sharkman again announced that he would be gone for the next three Saturday's, including the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred to the dismay of his loving Minions!  But it is what it is……oh, the humanity......

And, the rides go on!

However, Belo News will go on leave for the next couple of weeks as the editors follow their hero, the Sharkman as he heads east.

Here is the schedule for the next three Saturday's!

This Saturday, August 10, 2013

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Bloody 'Ell 'Undred

See invitation below

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP! 

BE THERE AND RIDE SAFE!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IN ONE WEEK!

Belo News
August 8, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - The Bloody 'Ell 'Undred is just over a week away and the Nation can't wait!

Gazelle Girl reports the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jerseys will be at the Klutch for pick up this Saturday!  For those who don't get theirs this Saturday, she will bring them to the BEU ride on 8/17.....OR folks are welcome to fetch theirs from GG's house located a tad north of the Klutch.  Just contact her via phone or email.  (See BEU invite below for data).

Gazelle Girl has reported that ride organizers, have a feeling that those who didn't get one of these babies will want one after their debut... No problem!

Gazelle Girl can do a second order! Is this a great country or what!

Contact Gazelle Girl and she will provide you with a sizing chart.  Re-orders will likely take place at the end of August.

So don't just sit there Bunkie, send you RSVP to Gazelle Girl now!





GAZELLE GIRL CELEBRATES 20 YEARS AT GAZELLE SPORTS!

Belo News
August 8, 2012

Kalamazoo, Mi. - Belo News is pleased to congratulate our own sweetheart of the peloton, Gazelle Girl, on 20 years of service to Gazelle Sports where she does marketing.  Though Gazelle Girl works from the Gazelle Girl Estate, she has been a major part of the Gazelle Sports Team for 20 years!  Congratulations on your dedication making Gazelle Sports the great organization that it is!


ICEMAN REPORTS ON THE WAM!
WAM Riders!

Belo News
August 8, 2013

Portage, Mi. - Iceman has been pretty busy since completing another successful WAM rides, but still found the time to report this great event for Belo News!

Sharkman is sorry he missed it and is wondering how much fun it would be to get the entire Nation out on this ride!  Here is Iceman's report:


The 107 rider strong Team Taylor joined the 900 other WIsh A Mile (WAM) 300 riders for the most organized ride you will ever be a part of.

And that is why they call him "Mo Pink!"
Day minus 1 of the WAM 300 mile bike ride includes Minion The Bounty Hunter ripping a tee shot on our driving range at the Team Taylor North HQ cottage.  210 yards to the island and then we go swimming for them.  Only rule here is you must hit with the "antique" small metal wood that my kids think clearly must be 50 years old.  Of course the Iceman ALWAYS puts it ON the island.

Day 1 (100 miles)  included severe headwinds all day long and big Northern Michigan hills.  Road about 20 miles in the rain, ate like kings, slept like babies in our tents.  Drank beer like a champion in downtown Big Rapids at Shubergs, the new official Team Taylor watering hole,  about 30 of us took over the place.

Day 2, (110 miles) ate a huge breakfast, got rolling a bit behind schedule at 6:45, my small group of
At the finish!
Nick Head and Kia Pet was one of the last to start.  We bypassed some rest aid stations and powered in for lunch right on time 9:15am!!
Hooked up with a bigger group after lunch just as we came into our favorite stretch, and we had a nice cross/tail wind pushing our 14 person pace line to 28 mph.  A few fell off and 6 of us  upped it to 30/31/32 mph.  This is a flat area and the road has no stop signs or interference for about 5 miles.  We were saying, " hey if we do this pace for 100 more miles, add 21 days in a row, throw in some mountains, we could be on TV".  Oh the humanity!!   (am I allowed to say that?!)

It wasn't all bike riding!
Kia Pet organized an amazing pizza and beer party for Team Taylor and Team Eaton and we headed into the auditorium for the ceremony.  Team Taylor rocked to a second place in the fundraising  with just over $170,000 raised for the kids and families. The entire ride raised over $2 million.   Is this a great country or what?!

Many tears were shed at the ceremony as it is what makes us realize why we do what we do.  It's not just a bike ride,  you have to do it to truly understand the meaning if it all.

Day 3  (90 miles) brought another 10 - 15 mph headwind.  It was relentless.  We charged on and met up with the 50 mile Team Taylor riders just outside Michigan International Speedway. We said a few words of thanks and remembered those that have left us way to soon, and pedaled very softly and quietly through the memorial called the Silent Mile as a 2 x 2 slow moving peloton of 107 riders for the last mile and entry onto the high banks and silky smooth surface of the race track. Emotional and very moving.

What it is all about.....
Team Taylor took the checkered flag at 1:45pm Sunday afternoon to huge throngs of family, music
Finishing on the MIS Track!
blaring, paparizi galore, noise, smiles, tears, and oh does that feel good.... climb off the bike!  A HUGE meal is  provided and I still stopped and ate on the drive home.  What a great team accomplishment for an amazing cause.

Its hard to believe that my Taylor has been gone for six years already, she would would be 20 years old now.  With her giving spirit I guarantee she is looking down on us with a huge smile and much pride as Team Taylor has donated $1,000,000 to Make A Wish in only six years. 

I highly encourage Minions to consider joining Team Taylor or Team Eaton for next years ride, it is quite an experience.

Pictures are of Iceman receiving his finishing medal from Wish Kid Christopher.

Mo Pink, Iceman, Mrs. Iceman, and wish kids at finish.

And the Team Taylor crew finishing it off at MIS.

 It's for the kids and families....

Iceman

SHARKMAN ABSENT? OH, THE HUMANITY

Belo News
August 8, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - Belo News is sad to report that our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, has announced that he will not be in attendance with the Minions on August 10, 17 or 24.  This will be the longest absence our hero has had from the Nation since the inception of the KK-TdG.  Sharkman and Lava Girl will be heading out on a vacation, a wedding and then some training that the old Shark will be attending in Chicago.  

Oh, the humanity!  But the ride will go on!

This also means no Belo News for the next couple of weeks.


But hang in there!  Our hero will return!  Consider yourself warned!


Wednesday, July 31, 2013

THOR BACK FROM TOUR OF JAPAN!
The return of Thor!

B-ROD WINS! CHICO AND TOW TRUCK TAG TEAM SHOW!

MINIONS ROCK AT THE MAKE A WISH RIDE!

SHERMANATOR THIS WEEKEND? THAT MEANS SOUTHERN ROUTE!


Belo News
July 27, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - These days would usually be the "dog days" of summer, but after the rains came on Friday evening, a very welcomed cool front moved in and as dawn broke over the Shark Cove, the thermometer read 61 degrees!  Sharkman thought he might have to wear arm warmers but there was enough humidity in the air to make it feel warmer than the thermometer reported.  Our hero did have to resign himself to the fact that the days are again getting shorter and due to the cloudy mornings start, he had to put his lights on the bike for the ride over.

With the WAM ride, the old Shark was unsure of what type of turn out there would be for the ride on yet another beautiful morning in west Michigan!

As the old Shark launched from the Cove, Rainman was out in his driveway to wish him and the Minions well.  Rainman, who is working on his MBA at Western Mighigan, would be in class all day and would not be making the ride.

Sharkman was a bit surprised that Mad Dog wasn't there for the launch, but found him heading back from out on Watkins Road.  Turned out Mad Dog wanted to get more miles in and had launched at 6:30 a.m.!  What was he thinking!

When the duo got to the start, Brewman was waiting in the parking lot and other Minions started arriving.

Dutch was back and brought the "Mighty Thor" with him!  Long time Minions will remember Thor, who rode with the Nation for a couple of seasons before heading out with his new wife to teach in Tokyo Japan!  Thor and his bride were back for the summer, visiting their parents and he was able to fit in a ride with the Nation!  Welcome home Thor!  The Nation hopes you can make a couple more rides before you head back to Japan!

Dr. Dave, Tow Truck & Falcon enjoy a kup.
B-Rod, Airman, Hoosier Boy, Chico, Dr. Dave, Peugeot Guy, Hutch, Sasquatch, Falcon and Joe (Name to be determined) all were ready to rock as the clock hit 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

As the train headed through town, the Klutch set was on point as the Nation caught the light and buzzed past their Koffee Shrine, greeting the waves from the tofosi and headed north.

Dutch decided to lead our hero out as Gazelle Girl joined on to her usual greeting and after Sharkman took his sprint, he pulled over to take a count of 15.

After they crossed G ave., Kid Doster joined on to make it 16 riders as the Nation headed to the col de Twin Lakes.

Chico went to the front and attacked the col de Twin lakes, setting off a frantic climb to the top by the entire peloton.

Chico continued to push the pace and the entire Nation stayed on him heading into the sprint after the Kountry Klub. That is when "mechanical!" was heard from the center of the Nation.  Falcon had flatted and though shouting for everyone to go on, Sharkman and Dr. Dave rode back to make sure all was well.  Falcon got the tire fixed and Sharkman was very pleased to see his Minions all waiting at the Rt. 43 Stop.

The train continued up the col de Norte and on through the Holy Rollers into Frona's, where "mechanical!" was heard once again, this time from Airman!

Airman was quick to fix his tire, despite disparaging remarks from Falcon (who wasn't any faster) and with the "snap" of the tire seating and a poof of CO2, the Nation was off once again.  Dutch, having to get back to work, couldn't wait and went on, but the rest of the Nation went on to the Inlet Sprint, where everyone HAD to stop at the stop sign when a Deputy Sheriff entered the intersection.  The Nation wasn't going to collectively run a stop sign!
The Klutch was rock'in!

As the Nation crossed the Digital Divide, Chico had to head home, while none other than Tow Truck came riding up!  It was like tag team action.  Chico pulling the Nation for the first part of the ride and Tow Truck taking over when Chico pulled off!  

Is this a great country or what?!?

Gazelle Girl had told the Nation she "wasn't feeling it" for the GGG Spot sprint, her signature sprint.  However, she had positioned herself very well to take it until Thor moved ahead and though challenged by Falcon, Thor took the sprint easily.

Mad Dog with his foo foo koffee, "no more photos!"
As the Nation headed into the final leg, Tow Truck came to the front and took the pace up to 26-27 mph!  Mad Dog again came up to spell the mighty Tow Truck for a bit, but Tow Truck took the lead back as the Nation motored up the final ascent before the finish.  The train was all together as the crest of the hill was achieved and though Sharkman always worries about a group finish, the Minions stayed on line as B-Rod, Falcon and Thor attacked to the finish!

B-Rod was able to hold off Falcon, with Thor finishing just behind them!

Average speed for the ride was registered at 20.4 mph by B-Rod, despite the flat tires!  Actually, Sharkman checked time and the Nation was only 8 minutes off their usual time, indicating that Falcon and Airman did some pretty fast tire changes and flat's, though annoying, don't take a whole lot of time.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our heroes headed to the Klutch for their dose of joe.

As Thor shared stories of life in Tokyo and Luann poured the koffee, the Nation rocked!  To everyone's surprise, Stingray also rode up to escort the old Shark back to the Cove!  Hey, what are Minions for but to take care of the old Shark, right?!
Thor talks about Japan at the Klutch.

So total riders on the day was actually 18 riders!  

Another great day in the saddle!

You won't want to miss this weeks special edition!

It is Shermanator Weekend, so that means…….

SHARKMANS GUIDED TOUR OF SOUTHERN KALAMAZOO COUNTY!

If you missed the last southern ride, you will want to make sure you attend this ride!  Sharkman has been out scouting more scenic opportunities and remember, each site is only $.50 (no change!)!

Stingray came over to escort Sharkman back to the Cove! 
So get ready to rock!

This Saturday, August  3, 2013 (can it be August already?)

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Remember, if you are joining on, we are heading SOUTH and not north!

Be there!








MINIONS RULE AT WAM!
Wildman, Stryker Guy, Fly Boy & Hockey Boy at WAM!

Belo News
July 28, 2013

Brooklyn, Mi. - Another Make a Wish Ride is now in the books and Belo News hopes to hear more from our own Iceman when he has time to report in.  

However, a few other Minions from both Team Taylor (Stryker Guy and Hockey Boy) and Team Eaton (Wildman and Fly Boy) reported in that they had one heck of an adventure!  Stryker Guy was quoted as saying that the weather was great and that all they needed was snow to hit all the Michigan seasons.  The first night he and Hockey Boy pitched their tent between sprinkler heads that went off at 12:30 am and flooded the tent!  

Well, at least they didn't need showers the next morning!

Stryker Guy & Hockey Boy at WAM!
Hockey Boy rode the first 75 miles with his front brake engaged after a minor crash, but Belo News suspects Stryker Guy did that so he could keep up with the reportedly under trained animal rider!

Wildman reported that the same about the weather changing every day and also commented, "is this a great country or what?!?"

Wildman further revealed that wishes were granted, smiles were plentiful and Team Eaton and Team Taylor had a great time, stating "it was another moving experience for all and I'm sure most like me are already looking forward to next year and hope to raise even more money for such a great charity!"  Well said Wildman, well said!

Wildman was also designated as a "Silver" rider for having done 5 WAM Rides!  Well done Wildman!

All hope to be back in the Nation soon!  Great job Minions!  You made the Nation proud!


DON'T FORGET THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IN TWO WEEKS!

Belo News
July 31, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Only a couple of weeks left until THE social event of the Minion Year!  Yes, time again for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!

The second annual ride will take place on August 17, and if you haven't made your reservations yet, you better let Gazelle Girl know ASAP!

Don't wait, Bunkie!  Make your reservation now!



SHARKMAN ABSENT? OH, THE HUMANITY

Belo News
July 31, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - Belo News is sad to report that our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, has announced that he will not be in attendance with the Minions on August 10, 17 or 24.  This will be the longest absence our hero has had from the Nation since the inception of the KK-TdG.  Sharkman and Lava Girl will be heading out on a vacation, a wedding and then some training that the old Shark will be attending in Chicago.  Oh, the humanity!  But the ride will go on!

More in next weeks edition!








Wednesday, July 24, 2013

IT WAS WORLD WAR Z OUT THERE!

Sharkman & All Black in Team Taylor kit!
WRONGWAY KICKS BUTT!

STYLE GUY IS BACK!

TEAM TAYLOR JERSEY DAY A SUCCESS!


Belo News
July 20, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero rolled out of his shark bed wondering if all the storms had finally passed.  The overnight thunder and lightening awoken our hero a couple of times and he was wondering what to expect when he cracked open the door to the Cove.

As the old Shark launched from the Cove, Mad Dog was riding in to greet him and advised that there was a lot of tree debris on Capital Avenue from the storm.

It became increasingly clear on the ride over to the start that the rain had not only been heavy, but apparently the wind had left its mark on the roads as well!

Squeaky's new ride (and shoes)!
When Mad Dog and Sharkman arrived they were greeted by a "pacing" B-Rod who asked, "was the Klutch open when you went by?"  Before the two could complete the answer of yes, B-Rod was off saying he would met the Nation at the Klutch as he had to make a deposit! Uh?

Shortly after, Brewman rolled in wearing a new Beer Jersey that was the talk of the peloton! One good looking Minion!

Brewman was followed by Toast and then Squeaky, riding a new steed! 

Well, not new, as he bought the very nice Lemond at a garage sale, but sweet none the less!  Squeaky was also wearing some stylish North Wave shoes that were two different colors!  

That's right! Two different colors!
Are those shoes a different color?

The Style Guy is back!

Everyone surrounded the new ride to take a look and there were several comments about the fact that Squeaky now had a big gear for the first time!  Oh, the humanity!

Talk also centered around the two different colored North Wave cycling shoes.  The Nation also began wondering if they would have to stop calling Squeaky, Squeaky, as the new ride seemed to have a lubed chain.  However, they all new it was only a matter of time before the chain would begin squeaking again!  

Good ole Squeaky!

All Black arrived and was the only rider besides Sharkman wearing a Team Taylor Jersey. 

Stroker drove in and unloaded his steed and got ready to ride.

Dutch - No Staff Meeting Today!
Dutch made his first appearance in some time stating there was "no staff meeting" on this morning so he was able to get out and ride. Wrong Way also arrived after a long absence.

The Gull Lake contingent rode in represented by the Skipper, Boatman, and Dr. Dave with the first reports of how bad the roads were filled with debris, then Ironman made an earlier than normal appearance to report a downed power line.  Skipper reported that many of the houses around Gull Lake had lost power with branches everywhere. Reports continued to flow in of how much junk was littered over the road. 

Skipper led the Nation out, past the Klutch where Luann was waiting at the door (most likely to get away from the smell wafting from the restroom) to wish the Nation a safe ride and to get a count or riders.  B-Rod was back in the Nation.

As the Nation headed north under the guidance of the Skipper, B-Rod, being several pounds lighter, took our hero, the Sharkman to the the front of the peloton, where they greeted Gazelle Girl as she joined on.
Wrongway back in the peloton!

However, as the Nation bore down on that first sprint, B-Rod and Sharkman opened up a bit of a gap.  That is when 3 large dogs came running out of a house, right at the old Shark.  B-Rod, exhibiting a phenomenal ability to sprint, left our hero to take on the three dogs alone!  Guess he figured he only had to out run Sharkman and didn't need to worry about the dogs.

The owner came out yelling at the dogs and after a short encounter in the road, he was able to get the dog's back into the yard to Sharkman's relief.  Sharkman re-mounted and Mad Dog pulled up to lead him out again before B-Rod returned with his "tail between his legs" and took our hero to the opening sprint.

Sharkman took a count of 15 riders as they crossed G Ave on their way to the col de Twin Lakes.

As the Nation headed north, the roads continued to worsen with tree limbs and large amounts of tree bark.  The riders described the debris as "shrapnel" as it hit wheels and spokes and flew up into tender shins, knees and on some occasions faces!  Oh, the humanity!  Sharkman reported later that he had to scrub his shins in his post ride shower at the Cove.

The speed picked up after the Yorkville Church, through Kellogg Korner, where the Skipper had to drop off to get back to the wife to celebrate her birthday (Happy Birthday Mrs. Skipper!) and into the Kountry Klub section.

For the second week in a row, the normal slow down after the turn did not materialize and the Nation was torquing to Rt. 43!  

A large group of Minions attacked the sprint, but near the line, our hero made an uncontested move from the back to take the sprint! It was a victory for America as Boatman mentioned that the editors of Belo News were sure to remember who won that sprint!  

Correcto mundo Boatman! Correcto mundo!

The Nation headed up the col de Norte and on to the Holy Rollers after having to detour around a part of a tree in the road that the Nation had to maneuver around.

After the Digital Divide, a very sloppy pace line formed up and an attempt was made by the Nation to bring Gazelle Girl to the GGG Spot sprint.  But again she was denied!  This time by Wrongway who was soundly booed for his unadvised move to the front.

As the Nation headed to the final sprint, Sharkman again pleaded that the Nation hold lines and be careful, as Tow Truck, Hossman, Chico and Hoosier Boy were not there to string out the peloton.

However, Dr. Dave to the rescue!  

Post ride press conference.
As the Nation sped up, Dr. Dave took to the front and drove the pace up to 26-27 mph!  Sharkman held on to his wheel like Wolf King hangs on to a piece of fried baloney!  After a very long pull, Mad Dog went to the front and kept the pace going.  After giving some relief, Mad Dog backed off and Dr. Dave, throwing himself on his sword, took over again!  Oh, the humanity!

Dr. Dave continued the torrid pace up to the top of the final ascent, where Wrongway moved out from the pack and made his break away, quickly opening a gap to the dismay of the sprinters on hand.

B-Rod responded, with Brewman on his wheel and Gazelle Girl in hot pursuit.

However, Wrongway could not be caught and B-Rod had to settle for a distant second, with Brewman filling out the podium and Gazelle Girl taking fourth.

Rainman and Raindrop at the Klutch!
The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation rode on to the Klutch where they
found Rainman with his cute daughter, Raindrop, waiting with their Koffee in hand ready to sign autographs for the paparazzi.

The Klutch was rocking as the Nation talked of the great ride, Dr. Dave's awesome pull and how blue Raindrops eyes are!

You won't want to miss next weeks edition! 

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!





GOOD LUCK TO TEAM TAYLOR AND THE EATON TEAM AT THE WAM THIS WEEK!

Belo News
July 26, 2013

Traverse City, Mi. - This weekend is the Make a Wish ride and many Minions will be taking part.  The Nation wishes them all a safe and fun ride!  Make the Nation proud Minions!


THE PIRATE REPORTS FROM THE TOUR DE FRANCE!

Belo News
Where is Pirate?
July 19, 2013

Alp d'Huez, France - The Pirate has been reporting in from Europe this summer, between attempts to imitate Bissell Boy.  He reports in from France this week where he has been both watching the Tour de France AND riding some of the stages!

The Pirate reports:

Had some fantastic ass kicking rides in Europe. Tour de Flemish, Amstel Gold ride in the Nederland, Col de la Madeleine and Alp d’Huez in France.  Beautiful scenery some tough cobble stones with 18% grade and
The Pirate after the climb!
continuous 10% grade up the Alps.

Weather cooperated with us.  Unfortunate for the USA that TJ Vandergaarden did not hold the lead.  

He passed us with a 30 sec lead but must have tanked.  I don’t blame him, it is a brutal climb to do it once, and he did it twice in one day!!.

That is all from Pirate


Our Pirate, post ride, we think......










Thanks Pirate and get back here soon!  We're holding a spot in the peloton for you!












TEAM ACTIVE AND BANDEEN ORTHODONTICS ANNOUNCE COMMUNITY PROJECT!

WIN A BIKE!

Belo News
July 26, 2013

Battle Creek, Mi. - Team Active and Bandeen Orthodontics are teaming up to raise money for community projects. The first of these projects will be a community playground. For each $25 donation, your name will be entered for a chance to win one of two AWESOME bikes from Team Active bike shop. 

The first bike to be given away is a Trek Mountain Bike Superfly 100 series that retails for $2340.

For more information, go to this link and get ready to win a chance at a great bike while helping a great cause!



DON'T FORGET THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IN AUGUST!

Belo News
July 26, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Though it may be too late to get your Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey, it is not too late to sign on for the ride that everyone wants to be a part of!

Remember, you need to RSVP Gazelle Girl and all of the information is on the invitation!

Don't wait, Bunkie!  Make your reservation now!