SKITTLES RETURNS FOR WIN!

CELEBRITY RIDER! PIRATE RETURNS!

VIRGIN MINION IN THE MIX?

Celebrity Rider, the Pirate
returns to the Nation!!!

BEER JERSEY'S RULE BUT OBERON TAKES IT!

SHARKMAN MISSING THIS WEEKEND??? SAY WHAT?

RETIREE RIDE MOVED BACK ONE WEEK!!!

Belo News

July 9, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn breaks bright and cool over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, looking for one of his beer jersey's. Yes, he does own more than one beer jersey. After selecting the Oberon Jersey, one of his favorites and one he had worn in some time, a smile came across his shark jaws as he thought of the ride ahead of him. 

Sharkman had received a text earlier in the week from that legendary Shark Minion, the Pirate! Pirate was going to take part in the ride and Sharkman was feeling good about all the Celebrity Riders who have returned to ride with the mighty Shark Minion Nation after the long dark night of the pandemic.

Virgin Minion, Geoff!
(MNTBD)

Yeti Boy pulled up on time, in his very dapper Guiness Jersey as they both launched to the start, sans Reb and Fire. The two riders both commented on the lack of whining about the pace, since Reb wasn't present and Fire wasn't there pushing the pace.

It was a beautiful morning for a ride and as the two approached the Klutch, they saw Wishbone coming out afer a kup of bottomless, and then following them on to the start.

Shark Minions began to pile in almost immediately!!! Including Wildman, who wasn't going to be able to ride, as he had a graduation party for his daughter, but since he had to go get ice, wanted to stop by to say hello! You even get your photo in Belo News without riding! What a stud!!!

Hello Wildman and thanks for stopping! 

And congratulations to Annalise on her graduation!!!

Even Annalise gets a mention in Belo News! Is this a great country or what?!??

It was like old home week as riders tooled in to greet Pirate, decked out in his Chouffe Belgium Beer Jersey.

The man of the hour!
Bissell Boy in his Bell's kit
bought the koffee on the day!

Gazelle Girl rode in to shout's of "Gazelle Girl" sporting hair ribbons and black socks about being a Bitch and something about virginity.......go figure, while Toesetter was AWOL with a sore knee.

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock it!!!

Bissell Boy blew in fast and immediately saw the Pirate waiting! A great morning!!!

A Virgin Minion named Geoff was also in attendance, sans a Minion Name! Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Geoff MNTBD (Minion Name to be Determined).

Long lost Skittles also came buzzing in, ready to ride and making his season debut! 

Wildman forgot his beer jersey,
while making his ice run!!!

Welcome back, Skittles! You've been missed!

After the official start photo was taken, Rapture popped back from the restroom, so he got a solo shot! Sharkman doesn't waste film on a second shot.....wait, film?

Sharkman announced the start and the mghty Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station and on to the new path to town, past the Klutch and on to the course the Nation knows as their Field of Dreams, the KK-TdG!

Sharkman jabbered wtih Gazelle Girl for a while at the front and tried to drop back to press the flesh. However, Skittles came forward and they talked for a while, catching up, before the young sprinter picked up the pace and led our hero out to his first, honorary sprint, which he took at just about 25 mph!

The ride then began in earnest as the Nation moved on to the col de Twin lakes, where Yeti Boy and Skittles battled out the climb and the Virgin Minion pulled some sort of zig zag move on Gazelle Girl on the climb up. 

Perhaps, "ZigZag?" 

As seems to be the rule, the pace picked up hot and heavy through the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 sprint and the "smoke'em if you gott'em" stop, where a couple of Shark Minions took a comfort break while the Nation waited......

Skittles returns to the Nation
and takes the win!!!

At the top of the col de Norte a couple of Shark Minions started to circle in the road/intersection and sooooo just a reminder.....do not circle in the road at stops! It is not only dangerous, but the drivers hate when cyclist do that.....nuff said!

The peloton split into smaller groups as it approached the Holy Rollers, where Yeti Boy took a jump out front to contest the sprint with Skittles.

At the Food Stop, Sharkman took off and opened up a bit of a lead in the run up to the Inlet, but no one seemed to care as he moved ahead and took the Inlet sprint, where everyone made a complete stop at the Inlet 4 way. 

Nice job, Nation!!!

After crossing the Digital Divide, a pace line led by Skittles picked up pretty quickly and started to get north of 22-23 mph.

Sasquatsh then dug deep and brought the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" forward to take her coveted crown at the GGG Spot Sprint. It was a Victory for America! It was a win for the Nation! It was a win win!!!

As the Nation crossed G Ave. one Shark Minion got delayed int he crossing, but the peloton held for him as they began their assault on the finish.

Yeti Boy fell on his sword and went to the front, trying to break up the peloton, but apparently, the Nation is more afraid of Yeti Boy than they are of Sharkman. They reeled him in at the first short hill right after the turn and then, the speed picked up dramatically.

Yeti Boy sporting a very classic
Guiness Jersey!

Skittles moved forward with a cast of thousands on his wheel as Sharkman grabbed any wheel he could and held on, with Raptor on Sharkman's wheel.

Sharkman got to Skittles wheel and thought he'd hold on as long as he could but after summiting the final ascent before the finish, he could hold no longer and began to fade.

By this time, Raptor had dropped off and of the old Shark's wheel and as he looked in his rearview mirror (yes, his concession to old age.....a mirror) and dug a bit deeper, he realized he had a gap! 

He was riding on the rivets, as Phil Liggett would say!

Sharkman was thinking everyone was to his right, so he went to the right side of the road to check the mirror, ......he had a gap! 

But could the old veteran stay away from the fast moving train known as the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!

As he bore down on Skittles and the finish, he knew there was no hope catching the young sprinter, and he wasn't sure he could hold off a very fast moving Shark Nation even on the down hill!

Sharkman's legs were starting to feel it, as the finish line loomed closer and he saw the Vortex known as Greyhound moving up behind him, closer and closer!

Brewman, wearing the "original"
Bell's Jersey! Who else, but 
Brewman!

However, the diminutive Shark was able to stay away, dancing on the pedals, taking second behind Skittles and with Greyhound finishing right behind him! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the riders moved toward the press conference at the Klutch.

Bissell Boy there with the credit card and bought for the Shark Minion Nation! This is a great country!!!

Thanks Bissell Boy! You rock!!!

The Klutch was a buzz with discussion, koffee and a lot of banter, and the talk was so great, the old Shark forgot to get Klutch photos! Oh, the humanity! 

Yeti and Sharkman had a bit of head wind on the way back to the Shark Cove, but it was another great day in the saddle and they hardly noticed the wind!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition, even though the Sharkman will! Oh, the humanity!!!

Wishbone in his Bell's jersey!

Sharkman has a Sharlet invasion this weekend and can't make the ride, but the Nation will ride!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Gazelle Girl sporting "Bitch Socks"
on Beer Jersey Day!???

Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts from
her adoring fans!!!

It sure does, Gazelle Girl,
it sure does......

Sasquatsh in Bloody 'Ell Jersey, 
which qualifies as a
beer jersey!

Sharkman had trouble trying to do
a selfie of he and the Vortex
known as Greyhound.....

Raptor, late for the start photo!

Working on it......

The "Vortex" known as
Greyhound!

Finally!!!

RETIREE RIDE MOVED BACK ONE WEEK!!!*

Belo News

July 14, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - Late breaking news! Due to the weather reports, the Retiree Ride was moved back one week to Thursday, July 22, 2021! Not the 21st as reported in the bulletin put out this past Tuesday. 

When Gazelle Girl asked the Editors of Belo News to put out the bulletin, she apparently did not factor in their incompetence in doing anything! 

So follow the attached information and BE THERE! 

You do not have to be retired to ride!

* New Date! New Date! New Date!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

YOUNG RIDERS IN THE MIX!

THE OLD GUYS RULE THE PODIUM!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock Red, White & Blue Kit Day!

CELEBRITY RIDER/LONG LOST MINIONS RETURN!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE KIT DAY A HUGE SUCCESS!!!

DICK MOVES* WITHOUT REB, YOU SAY?!??

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

July 3, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cool and crisp over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero liesurelyy sipping coffee and not having to worry about pouring over weather charts. After two Saturday rainouts in a row, our hero was enjoying the morning and his only concern was whether to wear arm warmers or not.

Celebrity Shark Minion, 
Dreamboat, was back!

Long lost Shark Minion, the legendary Rainman, had texted the evening before, that he would be riding and was bringing the Celebrity Rider the Nation has been blessed with a couple of times already this season, Dreamboat!

With Reb, Fire, Yeti Boy, the entrouge included five Shark Minions (which is believed to be a season record) which was almost six, but Stroker, making his season debut, got up a tad late and missed the launch from the Shark Cove and had to drive over.

Sharkman enjoyed catching up with the wayward Shark Minions, while Reb kept whining about going too fast, even though he was dropping off halfway over and returning home for "Dad Baseball Duties" and had to be back home by 8:30 a.m.

As the riders approached the start, Brewman pulled in wearing his Victory Beer, Red, White & Blue Kit and looking quite dapper for his return to the peloton after being absent for a few weeks.

Other long lost Shark Minions arrived quickly, including the Bounty Hunter and that Shark Minion favorite, Kia Pet, making his season debut!!!

Toesetter arrived, sans Gazelle Girl, to cheers of "Toesetter!"

But where was Gazelle Girl?

Toe reported she was entertaining her "Bestie" at the Triple Nasty Ranchero, but Sharkman rebutted that excuse, stating he was Gazelle Girls "Bestie" with a capital "B!" 

Who is this rider?
None other than our own
Rainman!

Two Start Photos were taken, as Fabio, astride his "woodie," and Bissell Boy arrived a bit late and the photo had to be re-taken. After some opening words from the Galesburg Mayor in honor of the 4th of July, the Shark Minion train was ready to leave the station to the cheers of the gathered throng of people.

As the mighty Shark Minion Nation traversed their way through the thriving metropolis of Galesburg, waving to their adoring fans, it was noticed that the Klutch looked a bit empty, but it was the 4th of July weekend and many may have been sleeping in, missing this colorful start to the day.

As they moved north, Sharkman chatted with Dreamboat at the front. Dreamboat apprently did not realize he was supposed to be leading our hero out to his first sprint at this point, and so, Sharkman had to dig deep to get his speed up to 22.6 mph to take his honorary sprint and giving it the honor it deserved. Dreamboat still got his name in Belo News despite not leading our hero out.......

Well played, Dreamboat, well played......

Yeti Boy was on fire and took the next sprint, and it was there that two more Shark Minions jumping on at the stop! Wildman was back and I Owe Beer was returning to make his season debut. 

Welcome back, I Owe Beer!

This brought the total number on the day to 16 riders, one more than needed for Sharkman not to have to remember everyone who was in attendance! 

Thanks Wildman and I Owe Beer!!!

Brewman was back after a short
absence!

With a few young AND old sprinters in the group, the pace picked up considerably as the Nation traversed the col de Twin Lakes, passed a running event at the Gull lake High School, screamed passed the Yorkville Church and on through Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub.

"All on!" at the "Smoke'em if you Got'em" stop, then up the col de Norte as the fast moving train hit mach speed through the Holy Rollers.

Rainman, Dreamboat and Bounty Hunter were putting in massive pulls after the col de Norte, before Sharkman and Kia Pet took over going into the Holy Rollers. That is when Sharkman told Kia Pet how much he hated the first hill in the Holy Rollers. Kia Pet responded by saying, "Yes, I like to try to just get out of the way going up that first hill..." to which Sharkman stated, "I like to get in everyones way so I can slow them down and have a chance to hang on to the food stop!"

It was at the Inlet sprint that the first Dick Move* occurred when Zyckmann went by everyone after riding at the back and taking the sprint. However, he actually crossing the double yellow lines, immediatly disqualifying him for the win, and Brewman muttered, "When did Reb get here?" only to learn it was Fabio hizzelf! Sharkman tried to defend the wayward Dickus Movus* Maximus by stating he thought maybe he had gone ahead to make sure everyone came to a full stop at the Inlet........😏

Fire returning after her tour
of the southeast!!!

Traffic was bad at the Digital Divide and the Nation was split up in the crossing, but after the crossing, the pace line formed up quickly, and then broke into 3 seperate groups. An extremely fast group, a very fast group and a fast group! 

Oh, the humanity, it truly was a runaway train!  

Sharkman settled in behind Greyhound and immediately watched his heart rate drop and the vortex of the big rider seemed so suck him in to a black hole of cycling as the scenery in the "tunnel of trees" began to blur as the speed increased. Riding in the middle group, Sharkman just held on like when Lava Girl tries to take a vanilla cream sandwich cookie out of his hand when he sneaks one from the Tony the Tiger cookie jar. He just wouldn't let go of Greyhounds wheel and began to immediately hallucinate about vanilla cream sandwhich cookies! 

Is this a great country or what!??

MMMmmmmmm cookies........but we digress......

It started to get scary for our hero as he watched the speedometer head north of 25 mph and later, at the press conference, stated that he thought he could hear a warning buzzer as he approached his 71 year old heart red line limit! (we may be watching too much of Phil Liggett.....)

Oh, the humanity. It was so wild, and with Sharkman in the second group, he did not even know who took the coveted GGG Spot Sprint! 

Therefore, he awarded the GGG Spot Sprint to Gazelle Girl, knowing she would appreciate the jester from her Bestie with a capital "B"!! 

It was a victory for America! 

Kia Pet was in the HOUSE!
Been too long, and great
to have you back!!!

After the smoke cleared, Sharkman led the Nation out to the finishing section, worried that with some big guns in the mix, it would be good to try to stretch out the field.

Where is Tow Truck and/or Hossman when you need them??!

Sharkman took off and his mighty Shark Minion Nation let him go, knowing they had the legs to reel him back in.

They allowed Sharkman to open a pretty good gap before Bounty Hunter and a large group of Shark Minions began to reel him back in and then pass him at the foot of the ascent to the finish.

It was then that Sharkman saw Greyhound coming up and he again jumped on him like a mosquito on a sunburned neck on a hot summers evening! 

Sharkman described it later as being phenomal back there! Sharkman envisioned kids at the back of the Greyhound waving at him from the rear of the runaway bus called "The Greyhound!" Kids throwing Vanilla Cream Sandwich cookies at him in celebration of a podium finish!

As the descent to the finish began, Bounty Hunter backed off the front and it was Dreamboat and Greyhound, followed by our own Sharkman hanging on for dear life!

Sharkman tried to go around Greyhound on the right and was immediately hit by a wall of wind, as he rethought that strategy and rationalized it was too soon to make any move.

Then Greyhound started to fade and the old Shark jumped on Dreamboat's wheel, who then also began to slow!

Bounty Hunter had again moved ahead and though Sharkman knew he was not going to catch the wiley sprint veteran, he stepped on it to try to take second!

That's when it happened!

Bounty Hunter had returned.
And he returned strong!!!

Fabio, who had used the Bounty Hunter's wheel as long as he could to close the gap to Sharkman, simply biding his time, went around our hero at the end to take the second spot on the podium by a half a length, with our hero capturing the third spot. 

Oh, the humanity!

Dickus Movus* Maximus on the day!!!

Oh, double the humanity!!!

Finishing Average Speed was 19.27 mph!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsers, all of whom seemed to have Red, White & Blue Company Colors on this special holiday edition of the KK-TdG!!!

Hoosier Boy won the sprint to the Klutch to pay for the koffee! Is this a great counry or what?!??

Thanks Hoosier Boy!

It was another great day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

There was even a tailwind back to the Shark Cove! The cycling gods were smiling on the Nation this fine Holiday weekend, making up for the rain the past couple of weeks.

So don't miss this weeks edition, when it will be "Beer Jersey Day!"

That's right Bunkie, it is summer, and what do Shark Minions do in the summer? They drink beer!

Which brewery will win Beer Jersey Day?!!! Is this a great country or what?!??

Saturday, July 10, 2021

Beer Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! - Don't miss the start photo!!!

Be there!

* Though Fabio did not look back, which would make it a classic, Maximus, Dick Move, it was a Dick Move none the less......

Bissell Boy returns after rocking
the Gravel Grinder with
Stryker Guy!

I Owe Beer makes his
season debut!

The boys in their Red, White & Blues!!!

The "Brooklyn" style jersey won the day!

Stroker, making his season debut, and 
the man of the hour, Hoosier
Boy! Thanks for the koffee Hoosier
Boy!

The Klutch was rocking!!!

 

AND DON'T FORGET THE RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE ON JULY 15!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

ENOUGH WITH THE RAIN ALREADY!!!

WHO WANT'S TO PITCH IN ON AN ARK?

MINION ROCK COAST TO COAST GRAVEL GRINDER!

SPECIAL REPORT!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE WEEKEND COMING UP!!!

Belo News

June 26, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - What, again?!?

This time, our intrepid hero was up early, pouring over weather charts, consulting with his weather expert (that would be Reb) and trying to make the call. It started with a text from Reb, "Heavy is the head that wears the crown - what are you thinking?"

In the green hue of the Shark Radar screen, our intrepid hero was wondering........the cells were popping up all over but it looked like it might clear around launch time. However, it did not look like the roads would ever dry and more rain looked to be in the future during the ride and on the return to the Shark Cove.

Reb texted back that no matter what the decision, the ride would be wet. Sharkman's greater concern was any lightning, which did not seem to be in the immediate forecast, but could come quickly in the right rain cell. 

As the clock ticked, Sharkman decided there was no way to avoid the rain, and decided to make the call to cancel. 

Oh, the humanity.......not again!

He drudged down to his computer and sent out the notice, as well as posted at Belo News.

One Minion got back to him stating, "my bike weeps...." to which Sharkman responded, "I know your pain."

But it turned out to be a good call, as there were several periods of some pretty torrential rain.

We believe that this is a first for the mighty Shark Minion Nation, as to our knowledge, the Nation has never been rained out two Saturdays in a row!

The Nation has been living the dream and can only hope it returns this Saturday!!!

And there is always another Saturday, right?!?!

The Nation will forego "Vintage Jersey Day" and in fact, Belo News is concerned it is a jinxed Jersey Day?.......

But since it will be the 4th of July weekend, it will of course, be "Red, White & Blue Kit Day!"

Is this a great country or what?!?

So break out that Red, White & Blue Kit and let's ride!!!

Saturday, July 3, 2021 - Red, White & Blue Kit Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

MINION ROCK COAST TO COAST GRAVEL GRINDER!

Special to Belo News

June 27, 2021

Our hero's, Stryker Guy &
Bissell Boy with their 
Swag!!!

Ludington, MI 

Stryker Guy, Contributing Editor

After the year of Covid cancelled bike rides, the Coast to Coast, Gravel Grinder was back with a vengeance.  

In the past the 210 mile Coast to Coast (Bay City to Ludington) and the 100 mile “Loop” ride were held on the same day. This year the long ride launched on Saturday.  

About 100 riders with obvious severe mental problems, left Saturday morning in a driving rain storm, which lasted most of the day.  Many did not finish. SG and Bissell Boy (along with his son in law Joe, Minion name to be determined) drove to Ludington on Saturday witnessing the rain and horrible conditions and wondering if they should return home or head to the bar.  Fortunately the rain stopped Saturday night and the conditions were close to ideal on Sunday. 

SG and BB were excited to learn that there were only 16 riders in the +60 category meaning they had at least a 50% chance of finishing in the top 15! (Note: we finished tied for 7th).  It was a great day on a beautiful course complete with plenty of gravel (imagine that!), gorgeous wooded roads, single track (yep!) and an incredible lack of climbing (only about 2440 ft). 

 

Action shots our "legends of the peloton!"

Stryker Guy and his lead out man, Bissell Boy!

To cap the day, each finisher received a commemorative beer mug, HOWEVER, there was no beer to be found anywhere, which forced the author to lodge a strongly worded complaint to the race director.  

A great day to ride with my fellow minion and friend BB. 

Editors Note: You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud! Thanks for the report and hope to hear  all about it this Saturday!!!

AND DON'T FORGET THE RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE ON JULY 15!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

NOT AGAIN! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

FIRST TIME IN MEMORY THE NATION HAS BEEN RAINED OUT TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!!!

Belo News

June 26, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - Not again!!!

Unfortunately, the ride is cancelled again! Though it looks like there might be a slight opening in the rain around launch time, cells continue to pop up and there is a threat of thundershowers. That means lightning, so the ride is cancelled.

Hope to see everyone next week!!!

 RAIN OUT!!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Oh, the humanity!

LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!

VINTAGE JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

June 19, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - It was a dark and stormy night, my friend......no, wait....

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove we find our intrepid hero, Sharkman, preparing his vintage jersey kit. As he thumbed through his rack of jersey's, he heard something rumble. Was that his stomach? Perhaps something lower?  A mouse in the wall?

Wait, .....no......not......thunder? 

"It wasn't supposed to rain!" he thought to hizzelf as he ran to the Shark Radar.

As he glared into the green hue of the Shark Radar screen, sure enough, there was rain starting to fall all over his "Field of Dreams," known as the KK-TdG!

As he started to study the rain patterns, he thought to hizzelf, "Maybe it will break up....it looks like there is an opening of clear sky's coming.......maybe........just maybe......." 

Then he heard his Shark Phone ping! What could it be!??! Oh, what next??????

It was a lightning alert for the area from the National Weather Service..........

Now, our intrepid hero isn't afraid of too many things. Just the normal stuff like clowns, and bats, the occasional spider..... a letter fromt he IRS......you know.....

But the thing he fears almost as much as clowns is....... lightning!!!

He double checked the shark radar one more time, only to see the rain clouds growing both in size and color. It was then that he decided he had to cancel his beloved ride.

This decision, unlike other rainy days, ended up being easy to call. It turned out to be the right choice as well, as rain of "Biblical Proportions" came down for 2-3 hours during the morning and the time the mighty Shark Minion Nation would have been on the road. 

Oh, the humanity.....

And remember, if the ride is officially cancelled, a Shark Minion Update will go out by email about an hour before launch time, along with a post on Belo News with the notice to cancel. However, each rider make's their own decision. 

But now, on to this week! 

Let's try it again!

Is this a great country or what?!?

This Saturday, June 27, 2021

Vintage Jersey Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE!!! 

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!

ALL THE DETAILS ARE BELOW!!!

BE HERE!

TODAY'S RIDE CANCELLED!!

JUNE 19 RIDE RAINED OUT!!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!!

Belo News

June 19, 2021

Shark Cove, Michigan - As dawn broke with thunder and lightning over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was forced to cancel the ride!

Oh, the humanity!

The radar looked dismal, there was a lightning alert, and all was wet in the kingdom......

But the mighty Shark Minion Nation will ride next week!

Is this a great country or what?!?

See you all next Saturday!

RETURNING TO NORMAL?!?

CELEBRITY RIDER IN THE MIX???

RETURNING MINIONS!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock!!!

A SEA OF SHARK MINION JERSEY'S!!

THIS SATURDAY, "VINTAGE" JERSEY DAY!!!

Belo News

June 13, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As a foggy dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was up and ready! Our hero had heard that the famous Shark minion, Boatman, was back in town and was going to ride over to the start with him and Yeti Boy. Yeti Boy was returning after a 3 week absence and fresh off his podium finish at the Dirty Donut Race!

The weather was also warm (which there hadn't been a lot of on Saturday morning) and it was Shark Minion Jersey Day! Always a favorite jersey day for our hero, he marveled at his vintage Shark Minion Jersey and the map on the back that displayed his "field of dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull! 

Celebrity Rider Boatman returns!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Boatman and Yeti Boy appeared at the Cove a bit early, but fortunetly that gave Yeti Boy to go back home to get his helmet, which he had forgotten to put on his noggin.

It was a beautiful fog to ride in as the riders lit up the roads with their blinking lights and drivers could actually seem them even better, though there were hardly any drivers to see them!

As the three riders descended into the thriving metropolis of Galesburg, none other than Zyckmann hizzelf, rode out to meet them and to great Boatman!

As they approached the start, there was not another rider in the parking lot and they all began to wonder if any others would show.

 The turnouts, by Shark Minion standards, had been a bit low, post panedemic, but they also realized they were a bit early despite Yeti having to back to get his helmet.

Very shortly, the riderss started to pile in. Some returning Minions were making their debut with Cricket and Maid Marian were returning, making their season debut, as well as the popular Luke Skywalker!

Welcome back, Shark Minions!

Hoosier Boy was also back and though he had riden before, it was the first time Sharkman had seen him this season!

Bulldog, sporting his Anniversary
Shark Minion, also bought
the koffee!!!

Sixteen Riders toed the line and were ready to rock! (Though Snow White went ahead for a comfort stop at the Klutch)

Dr. Dave jumped on as the Shark Minion train moved through town making it seventeen riders, a season high and making Sharkman feel like things just might be returning to normal!

After a brief stop at the Klutch to pick up Snow White, the Nation was ready to begin the grand tour around their beloved Gull Lake.

Sharkman laid back on the approach to the opening sprint, but quickly latched on to Zyckmann as he went to the front wtih Cricket on his left. 

Sharkman wasn't sure if Cricket was aware of the tradition, and Zyckmann pealed off earlier than our hero would have liked, so the Sharkman dug in and brought the speed up to around 23 mph to take the first sprint. 

The fog had essentially burned off, there was a nice haze that kept the sun from over heating all the Shark Minion and all was well in the kingdom.

With a few big dog sprinters in the mix, which of course, resulted in some fast pace back and forth!

Yeti Boy pushed the pace up the Col de Twin Lakes, only to be caught at the finish by Cricket. The pace in the Kountry Klub section was intense with a massive pull by Wildman, who seemed to be riding in mid season form, and the Holy Rollers was intense as the riders carved up the short steep hills in the run up to the feed stop.

Hoosier Boy didn't get the 
memo on what Jersey
Day it was!

In the next section, Stryker Guy shouted out he was taking a pull on a long down hill and quickly claimed the title, "King of the down hill pull!" 

After a "hard stop" in the inlet, making Gazelle Girl happy, the Nation moved to the Digital Divide section where Rapture (formally, Walter) took the paceline up to a very pleasant 21 mph and a very efficient line of Shark Minions actually working together formed up! 

Is this a great country or what?!?

The speed seemed perfect as Luke Skywalker led out the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" to take the GGG Spot Sprint past the Minion pace line! 

It was a victory for America!

Once the Shark Minions made the turn onto the finishing stretch, they again formed up into a pretty well working pace line. 

Amazingly, it almost looked like they all knew what they were doing! 

As the fast moving Shark Minion train crested the final ascent and began it's descent to the finish, it was every Shark Minion for themselves. Sharkman always worries when the peloton is a bit bunched up, but it was a very clean finish as Cricket moved foward and took the finish with a cast of thousands on his wheel!

Cricket returns and wins!

Average speed was at a seson high of 19.05 mph!

The paparzzi and tofsi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as their heros rode to the Klutch for the Press Conference and where Bulldog put down the pot of gold for all the koffee for the Nation! 

Thanks Bulldog!!!

There were so many riders that two tables were needed for the Nation to sit and enjoy their bottomless kups of koffee!!!

Another great day in the Kingdom!!!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition, which has been designated as "Vintage Jersey Day!" That's right, Bunkie, blow the dust of your oldest or vintage jersey and come on out to ride our "Field of Dreams!" The Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!

Saturday, June 19, 2021

"Vintage Jersey Day!"

Maid Marian making her
season debut!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! 

BE THERE!

The Klutch was rocking!!!

Luke Skywalder returns!!!

The Shark Nation took up
two tables!!!

GREYHOUND ROCKS MOUNT CADILLAC IN ACADIA NATIONAL PARK!!!

Belo News

Greyhound at the sumit!!!

June 13, 2021

Acadia National Park - Our own legend of the peloton, Greyhound reported in to Belo News last week after being missed on the ride! In his own words,.......

"Sorry to miss the Minion ride this morning. Just so you know, I wasn't slacking off. I rode up the Mount Cadillac in Acadia National Park. It's reayy beautiful here!!!

Thanks for reporting in, Greyhound! Nice job, you did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.