Wednesday, May 9, 2018


SHARKMAN BEATS EVERYONE TO THE KLUTCH!




SHARKMAN ABUSE? OH THE HUMANITY!

ZYCHMANN BRINGS UP THE "REAR!"

GREYHOUND BUYS!

NIKEBOY RETURNS AFTER WEST COAST TOUR!


Belo News,

Shark Cove, Mi. - When last we left our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, he was down and out with a shoulder injury from a mountain bike crash. Though X-rays confirmed nothing was broken, he did have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning....though at his age, he is somewhat use to that.

Less fearful from further injury on the bike, he was more fearful of the wrath of Lava Girl if he tried to ride on Saturday in lieu of the fact he had been whining and complaining about his sore shoulder since the accident.
Greyhound returns AND buys!

So as dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero was asleep and dreaming of winning the finishing sprint at the KK-TdG, rather than riding with Mad Dog to the start.

When he did wake, he rolled slowly out of bed, downed an Advil, got dressed and drove over to the Klutch at approximately 10:30 a.m. thinking the Shark Minion Nation would be there.

Alas, they had not yet arrived! However, Rainman had driven over, on his way to go mountain biking at the Fort, (whats with that?) and the two awaited the Nation's arrival.

Greyhound, making his first appearance of the season, was the first in the door and immediately threw down his credit card to buy! Is this a great country or what!

Thanks Greyhound, great having you back!

Zyckmann, immediately started to berate our intrepid hero for not riding! After checking Sharkman's X-Ray, it was his medical opinion that our intrepid hero could ride! Well, so did Sharkman! Obviously, Lava Girls medical knowledge outweighs the medical knowledge of Dr. Zyckhmannn's.

As a matter of fact, the only thing a shark fears, is his shark! wife! Had he tried to get on the bike t here would have been blood in the water!

There were other comments about the Sharks backbone, and other limp organs, but the old Shark took it all in stride, considering the source of the negative comments that were being spewed, as he sipped his Bottomless kup of koffee.

But what a about the ride, you ask?

Gazelle Girl gives this short, but riveting tale (or should we say "tail") of the ride!
Hossman returns to the Nation!

From Gazelle Girl:

"This Belo News report will be very brief - operative word - BRIEF. The Nation was wishing that Zychmann had donned some briefs since his Peek-a-boo Lycra® cycling shorts reveled a BIT TOO MUCH. 

The Rt 43 Stop Discussion Segment found the Nation bandying about a random selection of ideas for butt cheek tattoo slogans. The Minions, at last, fell awkwardly silent as they realized just exactly what they were discussing. 

"Ahem. All on? Let's go!" And so it went. Huge shout out to domestique extraordinaire, Wishbone, for keeping an eye out for Dragonfly on the ride. 

Thank you, Wishbone!"

There were 15 riders on a beautiful day and all Sharkman could think about was the next ride! It appears there were some season debuts for some (see photo, courtesy of Zyckkhmaan).

Though it can't be confirmed, it looked like Stingray, Easty, Boatman, Hossman, Squeaky, Dragonfly, and Ironman all made their season debuts on Saturday!

Yes, Sharkman will return this Saturday and is looking forward to this Saturday!

Saturday, May 12, 2018

New launch time! New Launch time! New Launch time!

The forecast is for rain later in the morning so the Nation will launch at, what is hoped to be the start time until fall.

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!


NIKEBOY RETURNS AFTER WEST COAST TOUR!

Belo News
May 9, 2018

San Francisco, Ca. - For those of you who do not follow the legend, Nikeboy, on Facebook and/or Instagram (and hey, who doesn't?) readers may not be aware that Mr. & Mrs. Nikeboy were on, like there millionth Trek Travel Excursion out in sunny California.

Nikeoboy reports that he and the lovely Mrs. Nikeboy experiences a beautiful week of riding in Sonoma. Great weather, great food and wine along with over 100 miles of riding in 4 days!
Nikegirl & Nikeboy on the west coast!

Belo News is pleased to report that the pair arrived back home safely and the Nation awaits his return to the peloton!

Welcome Mr. & Mrs. Nikeboy!


Welcome home Nikeboy!

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

SECOND WEEK IS THE CHARM!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation was ready to rock, the second week of the season!


HOOSIER BOY RETURNS! AND BUYS!

VIRGIN MINION IN THE MIX!

YETI BOY WITH PODIUM FINISH!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE, SOFT OPENING!

KID GALLAGHER CHECKS IN!

SHARKMAN INJURED IN CRASH! OH, THE HUMANITY!


Belo News
April 28, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi.- As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, could hardly contain himself. The weather, though still cool, was clear and our hero was expecting a much bigger turn out that the previous week.
Virgin Minion Tom
(MNTBD)
Welcome to the Nation, Tom!

The old Shark decided to wear kit similar to the previous week as the temps were a tad warmer, but there was a 9 mph wind that  could be a factor. As it turns out, once again, the Sharkman chose kit that was not only comfortable but kept him in sync with his motto that "if you can't be good, look good!"

Mad Dog was early, as he too, seemed excited to ride!

The ride over was a bit slow as the two riders didn't want to be so early that they would cool down in the parking lot.

As they approached the Klutch in downtown Galesburg, they noted Zyckhmannn in the Klutch with his drug of choice, caffeine, sitting and watching the traffic.

The start had moved to the side parking lot as a virgin Minion had arrived and parked there. Like Lemmings, the rest of the crew all pulled into the larger parking lot.

The Virgin Minion had learned of the mighty Minion Nation from legend of the peloton, Styker Guy. He introduced himself as Tom Garrett, Minion Name to be determined. The virgin Minion did mention some names, but none that seemed Minion appropriate, the Nation is open to suggestions.
Hoosier Boy is back!
Seen here being photobombed
by Mad Dog!

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Tom (MNTBD)!

Gazelle Girl arrived with Toesetter (the other guy) to shouts of "Gazelle Girl!"

Toesetter was sporting a very trendy "braid" in his beard, claiming it made him more "aerodynamic!" OK, Toesetter, if you say so!

A couple of returning Minions were in attendance. Hoosier Boy was back and the Nation rejoiced in his good health, along with Gecko who suffered the wrist injury in the now famous "Walnut Crash" of late last season. Cuz was back after having to leave the season early last year for Western Michigan Football.All was well in the nation!

After introducing Tom (MNTBD) to the Nation, Sharkman led the Nation out with the sound of tweeting birds and shoes clicking in ringing in their ears.

In addition to those mentioned, Toast, Brewman, Ziyckmanne, Wishbone (wearing shorts! What a MAN!) Wildman (who didn't wimp out), and Cheese was back after a long hiatus!

As the Nation rode past the Klutch, things seemed pretty quiet.  It was later learned that Andrew saw us while walking into work and waved, but couldn't get the Nations attention as everyone was gabbing about what they did last winter!
Toesetter sporting his
"aerodynamic braid" in his beard!

The season was officially underway!

Sharkman moved up and down the peloton, pressing the flesh and trying to share his celebrity with the Nation before realizing the first sprint was coming up. Sharkman quickly moved toward the front remind everyone that it was his sprint.

Virgin Minion Tom (MNTBD), being a quick study and hearing the lead out person got mentioned in Belo News, and also being at the front, led our hero out to the first, honorary sprint. Sharkman, not wanting to dishonor the sprint, picked it up and hit 19.9 mph as he took his second sprint of the season.

The G crossing was busy and the Nation went across in waves. Sharkman and Zyickkmane crossed last and had to work their butts off to get back on to the peloton, who were all waiting at the next stop sign.

As the Nation worked their way up the col de Twin Lakes,  through the sprint and on to the Rt. 89 crossing, the light was green for the second week in a row! Hopefully and omen for a great season!

As is usually the case, the Nation, after getting past Kellogg Korner, picked up the speed in the Kountry Klub section. As the Nation turned onto the last section leading up to Rt. 43, Sharkman slowed to make sure all were on and the Nation seemed to slow a bit to let Minions catch their breaths.
Gecko was back after the infamous
"Walnut Crash!"

At the base of the col de Norte, after the old Shark took a pretty good pull (at least for him), there was a shout of "mechanical" as someones pedal had come lose. Sharkman took the opportunity to get a shot of Gecko, back on his gecko green bike (the other, purple bike, is still out of commission due to the Walnut Crash incident).

The ride went on up the col de Norte, through the Holy Rollers and on to the Digital Divide.

Cheese led out a nice double pace line as the Nation worked their way through the Bermuda Triangle of flats and on to the GGG Spot Sprint in an impressive double pace line.

Sharkman found himself at the back, of the well oiled snake moving down the road, with Gazelle Girl when he realized that the final GGG Spot Sprint was coming up!

Sharkman told Gazelle Girl to "hold on" and headed up the line shouting "Coming through with the "Sweetheart of the Peloton! Coming through!"

With the great tail wind, the old Shark was able to take it up to over 24 mph with Gazelle Girl on his fin! The two actually opened up a gap, as Sharkman pulled aside and Gazelle Girl, completely honoring the sprint, picked up even more speed and took the sprint uncontested!

It was a victory for America!
And who didn't miss Gecko's
gecko Green machine?!?

As the group headed south, to the final sprint, the pace line worked together and the speed picked up.  As the Nation crested the final ascent, Zyckhkmanne came out of nowhere and lead out the Nation.

Since it is Spring Training, Belo News does not report sprint wins, YOU HAVE TO BE THERE TO KNOW!

The ride was marginally faster with an average speed of 17.1 mph.

The paparazzi and tofosi along the Champs le Galesburg went wild as their hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and waved to their adoring fans.

Andrew was ready at the Klutch as he loaded up Bottomless Kups for the Nation as Hoosier Boy pulled out his credit card and paid for the entire Nation! Is this a great country or what!?!

Thanks Hoosier Boy! Great to have you back in the Nation!

Again, the Shark Minions drank hard and long, as stories of the ride were traded and paparazzi gathered around them for autographs from their favorite riders.
Hoosier Boy comes back!
And buys koffee!
Is this a great country or what?!?

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG as the weather is still looking good!

With the warm up, the start of the ride will also move up!

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!





The Shark Minion Nation enjoying the Klutch!

The koffee, and the trash talk, flowed!

Can anyone spell this guys name?





























YETI BOY WITH PODIUM FINISH!

Belo News
Yeti Boy on the podium!
(Photo by Reb)
April 28, 2018

Yankee Springs, Mi. - The Yankee Springs Time Trials were going on as the Nation was circumventing Gull Lake and at least two Minions were on hand, with one of them bringing back some hardware!

Our own Yeti Boy took third place in his age group, which is so old, Belo News won't report it.

Yeti went out hard and finished fast, taking that third spot on the podium.

His wingman on the day, Reb, also had a great showing!

Congratulations to Yeti Boy and Reb! You did the Nation proud!




TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE, SOFT OPENING!

Belo News
May 1, 2018

Galesburg, Mi. - Wildman is heading up the Tuesday Night rides this year and though he had not planned on starting them until June, the weather was just too great last Tuesday night to pass up!  So he put out a quick email and Hoosier Boy and Gazelle Girl responded!

Wildman reported some key words from the ride: hottish, windy, sombrero, social!

Wildman has moved he start of the ride to the Eaton Plant, though starts and finishes may change each week.

Wildman has mapped a couple of additional routes for famous Tuesday night rides, one of which ends at Dark Horse (where riders will have to be picked up unless they are very adventurous and fast).

Another ends at Climax (Bowmans) (short ride back to Eaton).

This is a "Chain Gang" style ride, but also a no drop ride. So if you are interested in getting on Wildman's distribution list, let him know!

See everyone on Tuesday nights! It is going to be a great summer!


SHARKMAN INJURED IN CRASH! OH, THE HUMANITY!


Belo News
May 1, 2017

Ft. Custer, Mi. - We are sad to report that our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, took a hard fall this week while riding with his wingman, Yeti Boy, at Fort Custer.

While heading through the "Amusement Park" in the reverse direction, Sharkman took, what should have been an easy turn to the left, and had his front wheel slide out from under him. This cause our intrepid hero to go airborne over the handlebars, landing on his elbow, head and shoulder.

He immediately passed his concussion test with Yeti Boy by giving Yeti Boy, Yeti Boys garage code. (The first time Yeti Boy had a concussion a couple years ago, Sharkman tried to get into Yeti Boys garage to get in the house and Yeti gave him a number that didn't work. The Yeti told Sharkman that it was probably his Social Security number!)

Sharkman insisted on finishing the ride on the Red, but near the end had trouble holding on to the handle bars with his right hand/arm.

After clean up and ice the Shark wasn't feeling too hot and did not sleep very well, so today, he went to the doctor for an X-ray after Lava Girl made him.  He is now resting and awaiting the results.

Sharkman is convinced it isn't a broken collar bone and felt the doctor agreed, but they await the results of the X-Ray so he can say to Lava Girl, "told you so."

But he will be out this weekend and will need to give his shoulder time to heal. But will be there for Koffee!

So come out on Saturday and see how Sharkman is doing!




The Kid and is entourage!
(what was the dog riding?)
KID GALLAGHER CHECKS IN!

Belo News
May 2, 2018

Boca Grande, Fl. - Legend of the peloton, Kid Gallagher, continues his spring training in Boca Grande, Florida and sent this photo into Belo News, probably not realizing that his publication will publish anything!

The Kid complains that it is flat down there, but don't worry, the nation has lots of hills waiting for you when you get back with that tan!

We also now seem to have some great weather!

Hurry up, the Nation awaits the Kids' return!





Wednesday, April 25, 2018

OPENING DAY HUGE SUCCESS!
The "Fantastic Four" at the start!


WELL, SORT OF.......

SHARKMAN BUYS! OH, THE HUMANITY!

B-ROD SHOWS SOME SKIN!

MINIONS ROCK BARRY ROUBAIX!

BISSELL BOY LANDS A BIG ONE!

Belo News
April 25, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke of the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, rolled over and hit the snooze on his shark alarm clock......

The old Shark didn't need to be ready to launch until 8:30 a.m. and could hit the shark snooze and sleep in a bit.
Gazelle Girl and Mad Dog
"catching up" on winter activities!

But he was also excited for Opening Day, particularly in light of having to postpone the Opening for two weeks! A Minion record!

Choosing kit for the day, from the Sharkman's wide haberdashery of clothing in his Shark Locker room, was complicated by the fact the ride would be cool at the start, but warmer at the end.

After changing his mind several times, he settled on his wardrobe for the morning and got ready for Mad Dogs arrival.

It was great to see Mad Dog and the ride to the start was leisurely, not wanting to arrive too soon and cool down too much. Turned out that the old Shark, being a veteran of cold mornings/warm finishes, had selected just the right kit on the day and also fulfilled the the Sharkman credo that, "if you can't be good, look good!"

The two riders discussed what they had been doing all winter, then talked about the fact it seemed like everyone was up at Barry-Roubaix and they wondered if there would be anyone at the start.

As they approached the Klutch, they spotted the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" approaching the light as the both shouted out "Gazelle Girl!"
Sharkman stating, "Hey, where the hell is
everyone!!!!!"

As the three approached the start, there was only on vehicle in the parking lot and it was none other than B-Rod, getting his steed ready and adjusting his "hose."

After the speeches by noted dignitaries, including the Governor and the Mayor of Galesburg, the four riders were led out by their intrepid hero and a ceremonial fire truck. The Sharkman, who was slowed by the large "key to the city" he wore around his neck, was ready to ride.

As the Nation passed the Klutch for the first time in the 2018 season, the four riders didn't seem to draw the normal crowd they do in mid season......

However, the ride was a fantastic, mellow cruise through the "Field of Dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull! It was good to be back in the Nation!

B-Rod, who claimed he had not been on the bike, led our hero out to the first sprint, then settled in for the ride. Sharkman, not wanting to dishonor the first sprint of the year, took it up to 21 mph as he took the tape.

Mad Dog did a great deal of pulling as the Nation worked their way around the lake.
B-Rod seemed to have problems
keeping his "hose" up! He showed
a lot of skin on Saturday!
Damn leg warmers!

Of course, Gazelle Girl took the GGG Spot Sprint with no problem and the Nation picked up the speed for the finish line.

However, as all know, Belo News does not report on the finish during Spring Training!

A reminder to all those who are concerned about speed and A and B groups.

Yes, there will be an A and B Group again this year. (see article below). However, if there are not enough riders for an A Group, those riders can stay in the B Group (which is led by Sharkman). However, the speeds will be, B Group speeds. Additionally, remember that the early season is a great time to come back to the Nation as everyone is trying to get back into shape. The average speed for the ride Saturday was only 17 mph. So come on out and enjoy the start to the season as everyone gets into shape!

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg were down, most likely due to Barry-Roubaix.

However, the Klutch was jumping! As Sharkman dismounted to set his Litespeed against the Klutch, B-Rod was heard muttering, "Damn, I forgot my money again.....!"

Sharkman decided to simply buy for all (so he bought koffee for four and feels he is done his buying for the season!)! Is this a great country or what?!?
But B-Rod came ready to ride!

Discussion centered on Barry-Roubaix and next weeks ride!

The four, having a pretty good time, stayed late at the Klutch before Mad Dog and Sharkman headed out for the Cove after emptying their koffee in the restroom. 

A great way to start the season!

Though some may be at this Saturday's Yankee Springs Time Trials, and we wish them luck, the Nation will continue week two of the 30th year of Sharkman Rides!

The weather is looking good for Saturday.....at least dry, though just a tad nippy.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Launch Time - 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!


Gazelle Girl was happy to
be back in the Nation!
Mad Dog, drinking his espresso!
Class act!
B-Rod, always hard to tell if he is happy......


Zyckmann & Stryker Guy at the start!
MINIONS ROCK BARRY-ROUBAIX!

Belo News
April 25, 2018
 Hasting, Mi. - The Minions rocked Barry-Roubaix! A school of Shark Minions took part in the annual gravelfest through Yankee Springs and brought the course to its knees!

Though, as Belo News went to press, they did not know who all rode, they know that Yeti Boy had an "epic" ride, turning in one hell of a performance on his new Giant gravel bike.
Dr Dave, Starsky & Hutch, with 
Brewman and Easty are just out of view.

Along with Yeti Boy, Zyckmann, Stryker Guy, Rainman, Easty, Dr. Dave, Ironman, Hutch, Starsky, and Brewman to name a few. All turning in great rides, making the Nation proud!

Great jobs, Minions! Look forward to seeing all of you at the KK-TdG this weekend!









SPRING TRAINING

Belo News
April 25, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - Just a reminder that it is Spring Training in the mighty Minion Nation. What this means is that as the Nation works out the winter kinks, the speed will stay mellow and in keeping with this, sprint winners will not be named in Belo News until May 15.

This is a great time to come out and ride as the Nation slowly ramps up speed as the summer goes on.

As previously mentioned, there will be an A and a B Group again this year if there are enough for an A Group.

So come on out and join the fun!

We look forward to another safe and fun season in 2018!



POSSIBLE 30TH ANNIVERSARY JERSEY!

Belo News
April 25, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - As previously mentioned, this is the 30th year that our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, as had a Saturday morning ride. In the March 7, 2018 edition of Belo News, the history of Sharkman and the mighty Minion Nation was told.

It was also announced that a 30th Anniversary Commemorative Jersey, with every Minions name on it was being considered.

Though the design team of Gazelle Girl, Zyckmann and Sharkman were able to think of 70 names, there are over 130 Minions on the distribution. Belo News would like to thank all those Minions who actually read that edition and responded by sending Sharkman their real name, as well as their Minion name.

But most of those were Minions we had the name of.


So, if you want to insure that your Minion name is on the commemorative jersey, please make sure you send Sharkman and email with your real AND your Minion name!

This could be a great jersey and we hope to have the art work soon! So get your name (real and Minion) into the Sharkman ASAP!

See you all Saturday!

BISSELL BOY LANDS A BIG ONE!

Belo News
April 25, 2018
Whoa, baby! Bissell Boy reels'em in!

Pere Marquette, Mi. - One rider was having fun while the Nation was postponing the season! While the nation sat and watched the rain, Bissell Boy was out braving the elements and bringing it home!

That legend of the Peloton, who is now, also a legend fisherman, Bissell Boy, was reeling'em in up on the Pere Marquette!  Though he tried to play down the weight of this steelhead beauty, as one can see from the photo, this is one hell of a trout!

Though the famed rider claimed it only to be around "12 or 13 pounds," the Sharkman has declared it a 20 pounder!

Congratulations Bissell Boy, you did the Nation proud!

Now, ......when is the "Fish Fry!"


Saturday, April 14, 2018

RAINED OUT!

RIDE CANCELED!

OH, THE HUMANITY!


Belo News
April 14, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - Another Opening Day canceled! The Nation will try again next Saturday!




Wednesday, April 11, 2018

OPENING DAY "COLDED" OUT!


OH, THE HUMANITY!
Minions get their own thermos!


BUT ONE RIDER SHOWED UP ANYWAY!

OK, TO THE FAT BIKES!

WILL THE NATION RIDE THIS SATURDAY?


Belo News
April 11, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was sound asleep in his Shark Bed, dreaming about taking the first sprint. Then he woke up remembering that Opening Day for the 30th edition of the Shark Minion Ride had been "colded" out! Oh, the humanity!

This, of course, wasn't the first cancellation of an Opening Day, but it was the first that was cancelled due to "cold!"

The team at Belo News, who had been pouring over weather charts for days, had nailed it almost perfectly. The prediction was for a 17 degree wind chill at launch time and it ended up being 18.

Sharkman had been getting emails all week asking, "Are we really going to ride?" and "How cold does it have to be to get canceled?"
Yeti Boy dishing out koffee and
cookies!

With all that in mind, and having come back from short sleeve riding in Santa Fe, Sharkman regretfully pulled the plug on the ride.

However, on the previous evening, Sharkman had dinner with Yeti Boy and he and Zyckmann had decided to do a fat tire ride and invited the Sharkman as well as Reb with a launch time of 10:00 a.m. It is always a bit warmer in the woods!

Though there was a dog sled race, conditions were perfect for the fat bikes. The trails at the Fort were frozen and the fat tires were not rutting up the trails, though they did soften a bit towards the end of the ride, causing the group to head over the the Klutch for a kup of Bottomless!

During the ride, Sharkman received a text. It was from Mad Dog, along with a couple photos:

"Must have missed the memo!" it said, along with this photo.....



Then, "At least it will be a fun ride home!" again, along with this photo.....



When Sharkman got to the Klutch, the Barista was heading out and mentioned that "one of you Minions was here looking for you!" Of course, the old Shark new it was Mad Dog.

Yeti Boy was in a generous mood and not only bought koffee, but also a couple of cookies to share! Is this a great country or what!

When Zyckmann when up for more koffee, Andrew brought an entire thermos for the small Minion group.

As they sat and drank their bottomless and ate cookies, Reb noticed a rider heading towards the Klutch and stated, "here comes a riders but he looks too good to be a minion." Wait.....what does that mean?

As the rider past the Klutch, the Sharkman and his Minions realized that it was none other than Mad Dog, looking cold but looking good in his layers of clothing! Mad Dog later texted Sharkman stating, "Glad you got out, smart to stay out of the wind.  Couldn't stop to say hi, if I got off the bike and got warm I wouldn't have been able to get going again.  Hopefully next week."

Yes, hopefully next week! It is next week!

However, the forecast for launch time on Saturday is for 70% chance of rain.....but it will at least be in the 40's! Well, 43 degrees that will feel like 37......

It will actually be warmer at 9 a.m. than 10 a.m. so the ride will be planned for 9:00!

So, for the time being, the ride will go on, but watch for an update on Saturday morning before 8 a.m. If not sooner.

If there is no update, the decision might happen at the start.

Remember, the Minions will ride in the rain, but not start in the rain.......or at least most of the time!

This Saturday, Opening Day!

Launch Time 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!






Wednesday, March 7, 2018




MIGHTY SHARK MINION NATION “SOFT” OPENING!

REAL OPENING DAY, SATURDAY APRIL 7, 2018!

THIRTY YEARS OF SATURDAY MORNING RIDES!

SAY WHAT???

COMMEMORATIVE 30TH ANNIVERSARY JERSEY IN THE WORKS!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT!?!

Belo News
March 7, 2018

Santa Fe, NM. - As the mighty Shark Minion Nation gets set to start the 30th Season of Saturday morning rides, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, in Santa Fe attempting to get his sorry dorsal into shape so that he too, can enjoy his 30th season of Saturday Morning biking!
Yeti Boy relaxing over a Bottomless!

Just before leaving for his annual Spring Training out west, the Sharkman, Yeti Boy and Reb took to the roads in the unusually warm February temperatures to head over to the Klutch for some Bottomless Koffee.

The Nation was pretty popular with the Early Morning Koffee Group, who reminded them that it was February! However, it was a beautiful morning (of course any morning you can ride is a beautiful morning!) and they enjoyed the camaraderie!

Though they did not break any speed records it was just great to be on the bike!

Shortly after Sharkman returned to the Cove, and after he had cleaned up, there was a knock at the door and when Sharkman answered the call, he found Mad Dog in all his motorcycling finery! (see photo!) The day was so beautiful, Mad Dog was out on his new BMW motorcycle! And as you can see from the photos, Mad Dog cut quite a figure next to the sleek machine that was quite a beauty!

Mad Dog also wanted to ride and the old Shark and he decided to ride on the following day, which they did in a “severe wind advisory” with little trouble. Life was good again! 

Mad Dog was back in the mix!
Reb toasting the ride!

With less than a month from Opening Day, the day that every Shark Minion awaits, Sharkman thought he would mention that this is the 30th year that he has had a Saturday morning, organized ride and include a brief history of the ride.

So, here we go......

How it all began........

In the beginning, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, enjoyed two “bike life's” Though his Dad got him started early, when at the age of 5 they walked to the local Schwinn Shop on the north side of Chicago and purchased his first Schwinn bike, that period in his life, was like any kid and a bike. Sharkman's Dad approached buying bikes like he did cars, and made the entire process fun for the young Shark. And though he rode bikes until he was 16 and began driving a car, the Sharkman did not really consider that period one of his “bike life's”

While in college, the movie “Breaking Away” (later, his oldest daughter would be on the Little 5 winning team at Indiana University) came out and once again, he was enthralled with the bike. Being a broke college student, he saved his coin (as we all know, he is famously cheap) and purchased a very low end Sears Winner 10 Speed (as they were known in those days). Thus began his “first bike life” in which he got Lava Girl riding and a couple of other couples friends and they rode tour's, centuries, commuted to school, actually did a couple of bike vacations, etc. Our hero went through a couple of bikes, none very spectacular, over the next 10 years or so, before he began running.
Cheers!

With kids, and a young career, it was much more easy to find time to run than to ride.

Flash forward to 1987 and after running over 20 marathons, our intrepid hero decided to enter the Hickory Corners Biathlon. Sharkman dug out his old Azuki 10 speed (see what we mean about "cheap?") and got it ready to ride.

This unusual event was a 6+ mile run, followed by a 22+ bike ride. When our intrepid hero asked why those distances, he was told by Doug Stevenson (former owner of Alfred E. Bike and eventual good friend of our hero) that it was because that was where the course ended! The old Shark thought this was pretty funny at the time.

The big day came and Sharkman can still remember that he was nervous about the bike part of the race having not done any real biking in some time and never having raced in anyway.

The Hickory Corners race in those days, began out at the cemetery east of town and the run came first. Sharkman (not known as Sharkman at the time) sprinted out to the front in the run and was very surprised that he stayed there for the entire 6+ miles and finished in the top 15 or so!
Let's hope Mad Dog hasn't gone over
to the "Dark Side...."

Naturally, he couldn't believe he was doing so well and was feeling pretty smug when he got on the bike for the second and final part of the race.

However, within just a mile or two, bikers (real bikers) began to pass him like he was standing still!

Sharkman fought as hard as he could, but was completely demoralized as riders passed him, particularly on the hills, and his legs began to feel like mush.

Sharkman finished somewhere in the middle of the pack (that might be a bit optimistic) and instead of being discouraged, got motivated to improve his riding!

He had forgotten how much he loved the bike and immediately began researching what bike to purchase.

Not wanting to give up running (and that would be a while) and being famously cheap (did we mention his cheapness?), Sharkman did not want to spend a lot on a bike. He began research and Bicycling Magazine had just named the Trek 1000 a “Best Buy.”

Sharkman went over to the closest Trek Dealer at the time and it was none other than Alfred E. Bike, owned by Doug Stevenson. The bike was around $500, which seemed like an enormous amount to the young Sharkman, but he was convinced it would instantly make him a faster rider!
Pretty sweet ride, eh?!?

While at Alfred E. Bike, purchasing the bike, Bob Tubay, who our hero knew from working at Kellogg, was there and Bob, later to become Bullet Bob, invited him to ride the very next Saturday, to which our hero jumped at the chance!

When Saturday morning rolled around, Bullet Bob arrived at Sharkman's old Cove and the two headed out on the very road that he now takes to get to the Klutch each Saturday morning.

At the first hill, up to 44th Street, Bullet Bob took off up the ascent like a fly on the wall and Sharkman began to wonder if he had just wasted $500 on a bike that felt like it was slowly killing his legs!

But again, the old Shark felt challenged and after the 25-30 mile ride, that nearly killed him, rather than put the bike away for good, decided he wanted to continue to ride and get better.

That began in 1988 and Bullet Bob became his longest riding partner and longest serving Shark Minion, but not the only Minion.

In the early days, the rides got to be known as “Tour de Bill's” and riders like Bullet Bob, Carl the Cannibal, Rodger Dodger, Mark the Hammer, Sailman, Locomotive and Qman were contacted by first, phone, then email, to determine the ride start, usually at Sharkman's house. Different riders hosted each ride that first year and the ride would conclude with breakfast at someone's house. But after the first season, the rides migrated to launching at the Sharkman's house for the next number of years.

How Sharkman became Sharkman.........

In 1989, Sharkman returned to the Hickory Corners Biathlon and was ready to rock!

The start/finish was moved to the west side of town, were they had a County Park that better facilitated the event. He had his new Trek, he'd been riding, he was ready!

Though Sharkman cannot remember how he did, he does remember how on that day he became known as “The Sharkman of Hickory Corners.”

The Hickory Corners Biathlon was a really cool race. They gave away really nice sweatshirts, (Sharkman still has and wears them) and instead of getting a trophy for winning, they raffled off gifts from the two sponsors, Gazelle Sports and Alfred E. Bike.

After the ride, our hero put on a San Jose Shark Tee shirt that a Board Member at Kellogg and co-owner of the NHL Team, had given him. Because it was cold, he put his Hickory Corners sweatshirt on, over the T shirt to stay warm.

As the announcer stood on a picnic table, reading off lottery winners, he pulled a T shirt out of the prize box, that had a neon shark on the back with “Kalamazoo” under the shark. He quickly announced that whoever won the T shirt would forever be known as “The Sharkman of Hickory Corners!'

The crowd began chanting, as the announcer pulled the name from the box, “Sharkman, Sharkman, Sharkman......!”

“Bill Duggan from Battle Creek!”

As the now, Sharkman, began to walk to the picnic table, the crowd continued to chant even louder, “Sharkman, Sharkman, Sharkman......!'

When our hero stood up on the picnic table, to accept the coveted T shirt, he pulled up his sweatshirt and revealed he already had a Shark T shirt on and the crowd went wild!

“Sharkman, Sharkman, Sharkman........!” And thus the legend began (at least in our hero's mind.......).

Friends began giving him things with sharks on it, like socks, T's, etc. His daughters began calling him Shark Dad and his Saturday morning guys began to call him Sharkman after he bought his first (of many) Shark Jersey! His daughters even found a bike helmet with a dorsal fin on it!

How the Minion name came to be................

A few years later, with the Sharkman's Saturday ride group calling him Sharkman for some time, he went to a Friday Night Kalamazoo Bike Club ride in Galesburg. As he was getting his bike ready, CycoCross pulled in and got out of his car and immediately began regaling our hero....”All hail the mighty Sharkman! We are all his Minions!” and thus began the name Minions for those who rode with our hero.

How the ride moved to the Klutch.........

The Saturday rides continued and riders moved away, or stopped riding, but there was always a group that Sharkman had riding on Saturday mornings. One of his longest running Minions was Qman, who lived in Galesburg and would drive to Sharkman's house to start the ride. In those day's the ride usually covered what is now known as “the Southern Route.”

Qman and Sharkman discussed that there was a new Cafe opening up in Galesburg and as bikers, they loved coffee and saw photos in Velo News where riders, training in Spain, would stop for coffee. They decided that once the new cafe opened, they would move the start of the ride to Galesburg so they could enjoy a coffee after the ride and add the miles to get to the cafe to their weekly mileage.

When Luanne opened the Koffee Klutch (we think, around 2007) the Minion's were her first Saturday morning customers. Because the ride had moved closer to Kalamazoo, some of Qman's buddies from church joined the ride. Guys like Sooner, Peugeot Guy, Arrow, Hawkeye and soon the ride began to grow as other riders found the group like Wolf King, Boffo the Clown, Dirt Dog, Cycocross with many, many more to follow. Legendary names like Gazelle Girl, Zyckmann (or whatever his name is this week) Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy, Yeti Boy, Skipper,.....the names go on and on!

The ride really began to take off in 2008, when Belo News began. Prior to Belo News, communications went out by email. However, Belo News circulation slowly began to rise and presently there are 134 Minions on the distribution. Many of those riders have moved away, but have stayed on the distribution to read about the exploits of the mighty Shark Minion Nation.

The ride followed the same route as the Friday night Kalamazoo Bike Club ride and took on the name, the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull, but the difference has been the “leave no Minion behind” rule. The riders can sprint for bragging rights at all the Stop Ahead signs, however, the Nation tries very hard not to leave any Minion behind by waiting at the stop sign for all to catch on. Though there have been times when the Nation has lost a Minion, it has worked hard to make sure the ride is fun for all. If a rider wants a stronger workout, they can sprint for all the Stop Ahead signs, then ride back to meet the group.

Two years ago, a “B” Group began for those recovering from injury (as Sharkman came back from surgery), or trying to get back into shape after a lay off. The Nation is still working on both the “A” and “B” group concept to insure it works well, but now that ride attendance often goes over 40 riders on a Saturday, it is even more important to break down the groups for safety reasons.

And that is the story of the mighty Shark Minion Nation and our intrepid hero, the Sharkman!

Sharkman feels truly blessed by having his mighty Minion Nation in his life and for 30 fantastic years of cycling fun and friendships!

30th ANNIVERSARY SHARK MINION JERSEY ANNOUNCED!

Belo News
March 7, 2018

Santa Fe, NM. - In recognition of this being the 30th year, our Vice President of Minion Moral, Gazelle Girl, along with Director of Laughs, Zyckkmann, are working on the possibility of a 30th Anniversary commemorative Shark Minion Jersey. Plans are that this jersey would have ALL the Minions Names on it if they can be fit into one jersey.

To insure that you have your name on the jersey, please send Sharkman an email with your real and your Shark Minion name. (The old Shark has a hard time remembering each Minions real name.)

When Sharkman, Gazelle Girl and Zyckman tried to remember all the names, they were able to come up with around 80 without even looking at the distribution. But if you want your name on the jersey, you need to email Sharkman (sharkman444@gmail.com) ASAP. 

If there is a good response, jersey's will be made and orders will be taken.

So don't delay! Get your name and Minion name to Sharkman ASAP!

OPENING DAY, APRIL 7, 2018!

Belo News
March 7, 2018

Galesburg, MI. - And don't forget to mark your calendars! Opening Day is Saturday, April 7, 2018. The time will be determined the week before, depending on weather. So watch your email with start time!

You won't want to miss the first day of the 30th season of the mighty Shark Minion Nations!

Be there!

Wednesday, January 24, 2018



ZYCHMANN'S "POLE TO POLE" IS BACK!

OH, THE HUMANITY!?!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT!?!

Belo News
January 24, 2018

Zychmann Estate, Mi. - You read that right Bunkie! The famous "Pole to Pole" is back!

Been bored so far this winter, Bunkie? Too cold but hate the thaw, too much snow, not enough snow, too much fog and rain, not enough sun?

Well quit you belly aching and come on out and embrace the Michigan winter, ya sissy!

The invitation above says it all! Come on out and run, ski, ride, skate, snow shoe, whatever, across Gull Lake!

There will be an alternate event and watch for an email next week, if the weather turns too warm.

Snacks and a fire provided, but BYOB!

Festivities begin at 1:00 p.m. - SHARP!

Be there!