Conor Does Yankee Springs!

Click on Headline and watch our own Minion Conor doing the Time Trials on his single speed at Yankee Springs!

STRONG WINDS CONFRONT THE MINION NATION!

SHARKLET SIGHTING IN THE OBG?

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE NOW OFFICIAL!

IS SHARKMAN PUTTING ON WIEGHT?

Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.

April 30, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, the Sharkman got pretty excited about riding to the start for the first time this season. Knowing that the temperatures were predicted in the 60’s, our intrepid hero was feeling good that he would finally be able to ride to the start, something he usually does earlier in the season. But as we all know, this season has been one of the coldest and wettest in Minion history!

The ride over was pleasant and the Sharkman felt great, as he beat the train on Renton Road (it can be a long wait when those freight cars go by) as he heard the crossing bells right after he had crossed the track. His first thought was lucky day and his second was how fast he seemed to be going along Michigan Ave. towards the Eaton Plant.

It didn’t dawn on our hero that the wind was coming out of the East, Southeast and pushing him along at a pretty good clip.

As he crossed the Kalamazoo River just east of Galesburg, his seat flew up and the horn of the seat was firmly implanted in a very tender location. After pulling to the side of the road and dismounting his titanium steed, he realized that his saddle had come loose and the horn of the seat was at a 45% angle to the top bar!

Is the Sharkman’s dorsal butt getting a bit heavier, perhaps? Could it be that with Oberon back this spring, he is perchance, indulging more than he should?

After all, how may times has a riders saddle done that…..? Sharkman isn’t talking…..

He tried to work on it but it seemed like the Alien allen wrench wasn’t long enough to make the fix, so our hero rode to the start standing on the bike.

Getting to the start about 15 minutes early (it was a very strong wind), our hero tried to find a longer allen wrench among the assembled riders and when he couldn’t, realized that his Alien tool kit would do the trick. Unfortunately, in his haste, he didn’t really get the horn of the saddle down low enough before the ride and decided to ride with it as it was. As a result, he actually had to sing in the Boy’s Choir in Church the next day but is doing better now and his voice has returned to normal!

At the start, B-Rod, the Pirate, CheddarHead (making his season debut), Toast and Falcon were gathered. Falcon had brought a friend to ride named Mark and mentioned that he should be known forthwith as Mr. Luv because he is a pilot for Airtran that is merging with Southwest, which is the “Love” Airline. I think Mark will be working on a new nick name, but better hurry before Mr. Luv sticks!

Approaching in his customary all black kit, All Black was riding his classic Atala steel steed, complete with down tube shifters! (see photo). This is one cool retro bike and the orange frame cooler seemed to make his black kit pop! What a classic look! We all know that the Sharkman covets that bike and All Black was wary of him the entire ride.

With the Skipper still AWOL, his faithful sidekick, the Pirate, led the Mighty Minion Nation at the start, past the Klutch and through Galesburg to the field of dreams we call the KK-TdG!

As the riders made their way north, a shout of “Gazelle Girl” went up in the peloton as the legendary rider made her customary approach and turned into the Nation!

Sharkman took his regular first sprint when B-Rod first led him out, followed by Falcon, who for fun, made it close at the stop ahead.

Sharkman surprised everyone by sliding past four riders and stealing the second sprint from B-Rod, who seemed to let the old Shark take the stop ahead by not responding to the sneaky attack.

The peloton hung together through most of the Country Club section with Toast, B-Rod and All Black battling at the front while others chose to sit in.

As the peloton crested the col de Norte and headed south, the strong east, south east wind met them head on. Sharkman started complaining about having to ride home into the wind with his saddle pointing up and after several complaints was severely chastised by Gazelle Girl for his incessant whining! (but it was windy!)

Though the wind continued through the Bible Conference Hills and a pace line formed up, it quickly fell apart as the Nation bore down on Frona’s.

After the Digital Divide, the pace line picked up again right up to the G Ave. sprint, which was not contested. Everyone seemed to want to play nice in the peloton.

As the Nation headed south to the finish, once again the Sharkman went to the front as if he repeated his imitation of Hossman from the previous week. Toast, B-Rod, Falcon, All Black and the Sharkman led to the final ascent before the finish and as they crested the hill, Falcon headed out with B-Rod and Toast on his wheel while the rest of the peloton seemed to have given into the strong winds. Falcon broke too early for B-Rod or Toast to catch on and that is the way they finished. Average speed was 17.9 mph which, considering the wind, seemed fairly respectable.

The Klutch was a buzz as our hero’s entered and ordered their Koffee from their favorite Barista, the lovely Luann. The regular locals who sit at the door to the Klutch then asked the riders why there was a slot down the middle of most of their bike saddles. That question led to a number of explainations, and more importantly a list of names for the slot that caused quite an uproar of laughter from the local fans. This led to a seminar on bike seats, which you would have thought would remind the Sharkman to fix his seat before the long, windy ride home, but he was so numb down there he forgot all about it!

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition of the KK-TdG! The forecast at press time was for rain, but we can hope, Right?

Remember, if it is raining, something will be posted here at Belo News!

This Saturday – May 7, 2011

Launch Time 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE CLARIFICATION!

Belo News
May 4, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – The Tuesday Night, Minions East Chapter did this weeks Tuesday Night Ride on Wednesday Night when the forecast for Tuesday looked like Rain and Sharkman couldn’t ride on Tuesday. This change completely screwed up several Minions and the Sharkman has publically apologized for changing the day at the last minute. This will not happen in the future and going forward this summer this ride will be officially on Tuesday nights, regardless of the weather, leaving from the upper level parking lot of the Kellogg Headquarters at 6:00 P.M.

This ride is similar to the Chain Gang ride covering 29 miles out to Galesburg and back most of which is in a pace line. There will be no emails and whoever shows, rides. Tonight Sharkman, Stingray, Rainmain, CheddarHead, and the Pirate. The Pirate had bike commuted to work and used the evening ride to put in a few extra miles on his ride home. He was wearing a back pack that was so large, it looked like he had everything he owned in it. He also had a great, big “slow vehicle ahead” triangle attached to the pack, making him look like a farm tractor. Consideration is being given to a new name of “Tractor Boy.” Despite the heavy load, the Pirate kicked some serious butt before heading home on the return on Augusta Road.

Come on out and join the group next Tuesday night!

SHARKLET IN THE OUTSIDE BUYERS GUIDE!

Belo News
April 30, 2011

Santa Fe, NM. – As we all know, the Sharkman’s son in law is none other than Sam Moulton, the “Great Moultini” of Iron Horse fame and a sometimes Celebrity Minion Rider. Sam is also an Executive Editor at Outside Magazine and also, Editor of the Outside Buyers Guide.

As the photo indicates, Lava Girl was pleasantly surprised to learn that her little sharklet, Lily, was featured on page 16, the Editors page, sitting on the lap of the Great Moultini during a canoe trip. Actually, it was also learned that it was a family affair as Lily’s Mom, Nicole, actually took the photo!

Sharkman was also pleased to see comments concerning the Editors father in law (that would be the Sharkman) and his new found passion for the mountain bike.

You will want to run, not walk, to pick up your copy, as Lava Girl seems to be purchasing every copy she can find to send to friends and relatives.

It is a great magazine if you like outdoor equipment, including bikes, running and camping gear, this is one fantastic read. And even if you don’t like that stuff, you will love the photo of the Sharkman's sharklet Lily! Get your copy today!

WELCOME BACK, SHARK MINIONS!

IT WAS LIKE SUMMER OUT THERE!

SHARKMAN WINS, AGAIN?

WAS THAT THE SUN SHINING?

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

April 23, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. - It was like Opening Day all over again!

Sunshine? Could it be? Could it possibly be?

Though the morning broke with wet roads, the temperatures were in the 50's and to the Mighty Minion Nation it was like a tropical heat wave. At the start, the Minions were all unsure as to how many layers to put on and in the end, most of them over dressed. Excitement was in the air as it seemed like perhaps, the horrible weather that has jinxed the Nation this Spring had finally decided to give them a break.

The sound of pedals clicking in rang out as the Nation was ready to ride!

All Black, Stryker Guy, and Thor were there, as well as a couple riders making their season debut's. Wilier Boy was in the mix, as well as Toast, who had just returned from the Tour of Georgia and other points south, and they were ready to rock!

As the riders left the parking lot and approached the Koffee Klutch, Luann came out the front door to welcome the riders back to the roads and to cheer on the peloton!

As the Nation moved north, Gazelle Girl rode up as a roar from the peloton greeted her and shortly after, Jesse the Cheetah also joined in!

And then they were 8 Mighty Minions.

As is custom, Sharkman took the first sprint and looked as though that might be it for the day.

The pace was fairly mellow with sprints being shared around the peloton and it was easy to see the riders were just happy to be out in nice weather without two tons of layers and major water proofing!

A nice pace line formed up after the Yorkville Church and though the Cheetah threw in an attack right after Kellogg Korner, he got no takers to the charge and he was reeled back in by Thor and the Nation before the Rt. 43 Stop Ahead.

As the peloton grouped up at the top of the col de Norte, the wind out of the southwest could be felt and the Nation moved into a nice pace line through the Bible Conference Hills, Frona's and the inlet. The Cheetah bid farewell just before the inlet as All Black moved ahead to contest the sprint with Thor and Toast.

The peloton split into two groups heading south from the Digital Divide, where Sharkman and Wilier Boy led Gazelle Girl out to the G Ave. (GGG) sprint for the second group. We have no idea who took the first group sprint of All Black, Thor, Styker Guy and Toast.

As the peloton moved across G ave. Sharkman went to the front with the entire peloton on his dorsal wheel.

Just before the final ascent to the finish, Toast came around the Sharkman who was doing his best to impersonate the immortal Hossman's humongous finishing pull.

Toast went by the Shark so fast it was hard for the Patron to hang on. All Black and Thor began to get in position as Toast and Sharkman peeled off and Styker Guy, Wilier Boy and Gazelle Girl moved back to watch the fireworks.

All Black and Thor traded exchanges while Sharkman and Toast took a break at the back of the train as the they crested to the final finish. All Black then took the lead with Sharkman, Thor and Toast on his rear end.

At the bottom of the finishing hill, Thor made his move to the front and Sharkman latched on with All Black and Toast following right behind.

As the Mighty Minion Nation bore down on the finish, like the fish he is named after, the Sharkman attacked from behind with about 30 yards left and took the tape from the young Thor with All Black and/or Toast grabbing the last spot on the podium (that Shark was oxygen deficient and could not remember).

Final average speed 18.3 mph.

As the Nation moved up the Champs le Galesburg, the riders zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and the crowds went wild!

Luann was there to greet our hero's at the Klutch and posed for photo's for the paparazzi while Sharkman bought Koffee for the peloton in celebration of the great weather and what seemed to be the real start to the season.

At the post race press conference, Stryker Guy gave a seminar on fixing flat tires and in true stud form, gave an actual demonstration as he found that his front tire had gone flat while he had been enjoying Luann's great Koffee!

It was noted that Stryker Guy fixed the tire in record breaking time....at least for Stryker Guy, before heading home.

Now, some of you Minions might be tired next Saturday after getting up early to watch the Royal Wedding and eating English muffins and drinking tea, but if you really want to be one of the "in" people, come on out and ride, Bunkie!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG and let's hope the weather holds!

Saturday, April 30, 2011!

Launch Time - 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

DID SOMEONE REALLY RIDE LAST WEEK?

SHARKMAN TAKES TOUR OF CAPTIVA!

WILL SPRING EVER ARRIVE?

Belo News

April 20, 2011

Captiva, Fl. - After a dominating week in Captiva, where our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, took all the important sprint points and won the Tour of Captiva going away, he has now returned and is ready to get this season back on track! (Actually, his son in laws let him think he has won all the sprints!)

The Sharkman was so convinced that Spring would be waiting for him when he got back from Captiva, he had pulled his motorcycle out of storage so it would be ready to do when he got back. We regret to report he has not had it out of the Shark Cove garage since he brought it home.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, two stud riders did actually show up and ride last week! Gazelle Girl and Styker Guy, making his first appearance of the season, headed out in what looked to be dry weather. Unfortunately, it began to rain as the dynamic duo began their ascent of the col de Twin Lakes.

After clearing the climb in the cold rain, Styker Guy had a stubborn flat tire and after the repair, the wet duo decided to head home from the Yorkville Church.

Two showed, two rode, two went home..... but Mighty Minions the are!

So let's try again this Saturday and get this show back on the road!

The forecast is for slight chance of rain, so check the Belo News for any cancellations.

This Saturday! April 23, 2011

Launch Time - 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Come on out and let's get this season rolling again!

SHARKMAN TAKES THE EARLY LEAD IN TOUR OF CAPTIVA

GREAT TURN OUT EVEN WITHOUT SHARKMAN!

Belo News

Captiva Island, Florida

April 13, 2011

Captiva Island, Fl. - Greetings from sunny and warm Florida, where our intrepid hero, the Sharkman has taken an early lead in the Tour of Captiva!

Sharkman, showing early season form, stole the first two sprints of the tour from his two son-in-laws who were not even aware there was a race.

When Sharkman learned there was a Starbucks at the end of the Island, there was no stopping him as he raced to the early lead. Afternoons have been filled with eating, drinking with an occasional dip in the pool and/or ocean and frolicking with his Sharklets!

Is this a great country or what?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, our special reporter, All Black checked in with the staff of Belo News to report that there was a pretty good turn-out last Saturday for the KK-Tour de Gull.

All Black reported that Thor, Falcon, B-Rod, Wildman, Gazelle Girl, and Wilier Boy all made their season premiers, while the peloton was filled out by Kid Doster Danimal, Chumley and the lovely MC Hammer.

All Black reported it was a pretty mellow ride.

So you won't want to miss this Saturday's DD-TdG! Sharkman will not be returning until the following Saturday, but the Mighty Minion Nation rides on!

This Saturday - April 16, 201

Launch Time - 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

THE DREADED RAIN OUT!

SO THIS IS SPRING?

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

April 2, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – It was one of those Saturday’s the Sharkman hates to deal with! Not clearly bad, not good enough to ride. As the team here at the Belo News circled the radar it was clearly showing rain, yet when you went outside, …well, NADA!

It was too close to call, so Belo News posted that the ride would be determined from the scene by the Commissioner of Cycling.

As our intrepid hero arrived at the start, none other than All Black was waiting in the parking lot. With the rain now coming down at a pretty good clip, Chumley and MC Hammer arrived and as the 9:30 start time came and went it became increasingly evident that the Minion Credo of “we will ride in the rain, but not start in the rain” would prevail.

The Minions decided to regroup at the Klutch, where they found Danimal loading up on some Koffee before heading over to open the store. Luann tried to make the Minions feel better with the great Koffee, but all were disappointed that the ride did not launch.

As the Minions left the Klutch, the rain had let up a bit and all had a feeling that they should have ridden….NOT!

But the ride goes on this Saturday!

Sharkman will be AWOL the next two week as he heads out to spend some time with his Sharklets and biking in Florida! So the ride time will be moved to 9:00 A.M. this weekend as the forecast is for some pretty good weather.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

NEW CLASSIFIED SECTION!

FOR SALE

2009 58cm Cervelo RS

Full SRAM Force group

Easton EA90 Wheels

Ritchey Carbon bars, stem & seat post

Fizik Antares saddle.

Contact Airman at scarter22@charter.net

GAME ON (KINDA)!

RADAR IS SHOWING A MIX OF RAIN/SNOW, BUT THERE IS LITTLE TO NO PRECIPITATION WHEN WE WALK OUT THE DOOR, SO WE WILL MAKE THE DECISION AT START IN THE PARKING LOT. IF IT IS RAINING/SNOWING AT 9:30 WE WILL CANCEL THE RIDE!