VIRGIN MINIONS COME OUT FOR SPRING TRAINING!!!
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| The mighty Shark Minion Nation! |
SHARKMAN CRASHES?! WELL, SORT OF.........
THE RETURN OF FABIO??? COULD IT BE???? THIS SATURDAY!!!
Belo News
May 7, 2022
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and crisp over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bound from bed and headed right to the window!
He was pleased to see that there was NO RAIN! It was a bit brisk, but NO RAIN!
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| Obligatory Selfie...... |
The old shark was a bit concerned as he believed he would not have an entourage to escort him to the start on this fine day. However, shortly after taking a sip from his first, of many cups of coffee, he got a text from his wingman, Yeti Boy.
YES! Game on!
That text was followed by a second text from Gazelle Girl, stating that she and Toesetter were going to try to get in some extra miles and would be meeting us on the ride over!!!
Is this a great country or what?!?
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| Virgin Minion The Drug Czar! |
Now the big decision was what to wear! It was 45 but the "feel like" temp was 43. Sharkman's cut off for wearing tights is 45 degrees, so he brought some leg warmers up, just in case. But as he got his faithful steed ready, it felt too warm for the leg warmers and he threw them back down the basement stairs to be put away later.
Yeti was a bit early and the two started over to the start with a pretty nice tail wind out of the northeast.
At the Eaton Plant, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter joined on and as they came down the hill to Galesburg, Sqeaky appeared. As Toesetter cut off for the Post Office, the Sharkman and his entourage took the new bike path to the start, which goes behind the Gull Lake Distillary and is pretty nice!
Sharkman was please to see a large group of riders pulling in to the start, both by bike and by car and a bunch of new faces.
Kia Pet was back and brought along Styker Girl, who had ridden once before with the Nation, along with a Virgin Minion called Drug Czar. The Nation loves when a rider comes with their own name and that name is a beauty!! Apparently she is in some form of drug enforcement, so watch your step, Shark Minions! Put away those dope clutch bags in your kit!!!
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| Virgin Minion The Senator! |
In addition, Mark Schauer arrived, someone well known to Sharkman, and invited by Yeti Boy, who was immediately named, "The Senator" having been, well, a State Senator!!
Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Drug Czar and Senator!!!
As mentioned, Squeaky was back and dressed like he was doing an expedition to the Arctic Circle! It was learned that his "cut off" for wearing tights is around 75 degrees! Belo News guess is that he is 10 pounds heavier with all that garb when it dips to those lows of 65 degrees!
Riders kept pouring in as you can see from the photos, start photo and selfie start photo.
Riders making their Season Debuts and not already mentioned were Stroker, Wishbone and Raptor! Welcome back, Shark Minions!
After a few speeches the mighty Shark Minion Nation pulled out of the station as the gathered crowed of Shark Minion fans went wild.
Seventeen riders in all, headed through the thriving Galesburg metropolis, past the Koffee Klutch and on to the course.
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| Stryker Girl making her Season Debut! |
Being Spring Season, Sharkman did not want to contest his honorary first sprint, but won it in his mind anyway.
When they game to the first G Ave. crossing the Nation pulled up to the stop sign and Sharkman was trying to get an offical count.
That is when it happened!
In one of more the more embarrasing moments in his long and storied cycling career, Sharkman fell off his bike! While he was standing still!!!
Oh, the humanity!!
Wait.....what?
You heard that right, Bunkie!
As Sharkman put his right foot down to stop, he kept his left foot clipped in as he normally does.
Then, as he was attempting to confirm the count of Shark Minions on the day, so that no one is left behind at the future stops, he leaned to the left to look back. Unfortunately, he leaned too far and slowly did one ot those "Laugh In" falls (Editors Note - the reporter here may be dating themselves with the "Laugh In" comment 🤔). Shark man slowly started leaning, then falling to his left towards Raptor, who rather than catch him, did an excellent job of getting out of the way!
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| Kia Pet and his Season Debut! |
Sharkman immediately popped up saying "I meant to do that...." 🥴 But he did get a little road rash and had to realign his seat. Those were both minor compared to the injury to his ego......😒
Embarassement over, the Nation took off and Sharkman successfully confirmed the count at 17 riders.
It was an interesting morning, as the wind out of the northeast was brisk, and the group continued to break into a lead, then a second, third and sometimes, fourth group. Normally the Nation stays together better, but it seemed that the chatter, the beautiful spring day, the catching up after a long winter may have been a factor.
None the less, the sprinting was spirited and the Shark Minions who did go ahead did a great job of waiting at the Stop Signs.
Just before traversing Kellogg Korner, that Legend of the Peloton known as Stryker Guy, was parked on the corner and everyone shouted out to join on! The Nation was very dissapointed when he did not. It was learned later that his brother was visiting and riding with him and he was waiting for his brother to climb a hill up from the lake. He also didn't think his brother was ready for the pace, but he hopes to be back with his bionic knee soon!
As they approached the Rt. 43 stop, Stryker Girl had a flat tire and everyone shouted out, "Skittles" but it appeared that Raptor wanted to do the job. The deflated tire was fixed pretty darn fast, regardless and the Nation was off again to the Col de Norte, where Sharkman made sure everyone was on, which was confirmed by Hermster, who was acting as the sweeper in that section.
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| Stroker made his Season Debut after crushing it at the U.S. Swimming Nationals!!! |
Again, the Nation split into different groups as they worked their way past the Million Dollar Mile, as well as the Holy Rollers up to the "Feed Stop!"
The Naton took the high road to the Inlet and after making a complete stop at the stop sign, moved on to the Digital Divide.
Skittles went out front with Sharkman on his wheel and put in a crushing pull, leading the wild paceline on to the coveted GGG Spot Sprint. Sharkman held on for as long as he could as the speeds moved from 21 at the start to north of 25 as they bore down like an out of control frieght train to the GGG Spot Sprint.
That is when Gazelle Girl made her move to the front, not to be denied the satisfaction of achieving the final joy of capturing the GGG Spot Sprint once again! Immediatly surrounded by her entourage to the finish, she took the tape, never looking back, with a big sigh of satisfaction!
It was a vicroty for America!
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| Toesetter returns after his mountain bike tour of Brown County Indiana! |
As the Nation gathered up for the final assault on the finish, they made a clean crossing of G Ave. and though Skittles and Gazelle Girl picked up the pace, With his carbon wheels sounding like a truck was passing, Hermster put in his rabbit move and at the first hill took off. Sharkman thought some may let him go for a while, but Skittle was not to be denied and immediately jumped on to Hermsters wheel, along with a cast of thousands of Minions!
Kia Pet came up around Sharkman and Sharkman decide to grab his wheel, riding him like a rented mule and hanging on to him like he was last Dorito in the bowl!!!
Again the peloton was split up but moving fast!!!
At the base of the final ascent to the finish, Kia Pet pulled off and Sharkman was on his own. Thanking Kia Pet for the pull Sharkman tried to work his way to the front.
There were Shark Minions everywhere as the crowd went wild in anticipation of who would take the final sprint.
But unfortunately, it is Spring Season and you had to be there to see what happened, but suffice it to say, young Skittles did well!
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| Squeaky, the Style Guy! Is he goig to the Arctic Circle? |
The crowds also went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's zipped up their jersey's and waved to the paparazzi, tofosi and mass of at least two maybe three people watched on as they worked their wasy to the Press Conference at the Koffee Klutch.
Skittles, perhaps celabrating his ride, was the first to get into the Klutch to throw down his credit card and bought all the Bottomless!
Thanks Skittles!!! This IS a great country!!!
The chatter was up and the koffee kept coming as our hero's visited and signed autographs for the tofosi.
Sharkman and Yeti were dreading the ride home into a 10 mph headwind, which proved to be the big challenge on the day.
And it was.....Oh, the humanity!!!
You won't want to miss this weeks edition!!!
At press time the forecast is for a 60% chance of rain, but latter in the day. However, remember that if there is any question on the weather, Sharkman tries to send out an email one hour before start time if the ride is canceled. No email, the ride is on!!!
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| Wishbone making his Season Debut! |
It should also be around 63 degrees early, so the launch time will be moved up to the regular season start time of 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! Hoping we don't have to move it back due to cold anymore!
Saturday, May 14, 2022
Original Shark Minion Jeresey Day*!!! Get out your original Shark Minion Jersey and ride!!!
Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
BE THERE!
*You do not need a Shark Minion Jersey to ride!
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| The Klutch was rocking!!! |
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| Raptor making his Season Debut! |
FABIO ROCKS THE BELGIAN WAFFLE RACE!!
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| Podium Finish for Zyckmann!!! |
THE RETURN OF ZYCKMANN!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!!!
Belo News
April 30, 2022
San Marcos, CA. - Our long lost Shark Minion hopes to be back in the peloton this weekend!!!
Meanwhile, he sent in this report from his sucess at the infamous Belgain Waffle Race where he did the Nation proud with a podium finish!
Zyckmann's report:
I did the Shark Minion Nation proud and finished the Belgian Waffle Race!
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| Enjoying is well won bounty!!! Beer? Waffle? Ice cream? Oh, ya baby!!! |
The route was 76.6 miles with 6000 ft. of climbing.
35 miles of dirt-gravel.
Crashed twice but didn't bonk!
Took Second in my age group at 6 hours 22 minutes!
I also got a waffle with ice cream and a big bottle of beer!
Is this a great country or what?!?
See you all May 14th!!!
Fabio
Great job Zyckmann/Fabio and you did make the Nation proud!
We look forward to having you back in the peloton again and can't wait to hear more about the crashes!!!
You rocked it!!!
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Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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