WHERE WAS GAZELLE GIRL?!??

BROWNIES? WAIT,....WHAT???

MAD DOG SIGHTING?!?? COULD IT BE??!

GUINNESS AND BELL'S TIE ON BEER JERSEY DAY!!!

Beer Jersey Day at the KK-TdG!!!

THE RETURN OF CYCOCROSS!!!

9/11 MEMORIAL - RED, WHITE & BLUE KIT DAY!!!

SUPER TROOPER CHECKS IN FROM THE ROAD!!

Belo News

September 4, 2021

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn broke with threatening sky, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, jumped from his shark bed when he heard a weather alert come in on his shark phone.

The return of CycoCross!!!

Weather alert? It was supposed to be a sunny day, albiet a bit cool at the start.......

The alert stated that rain was to begin at 7:30 a.m., ending shortly......?

So he donned his new Guinness Jersey, courtesy of Yeti's Boy's son in law, Leo and then got his rain jacket.

Sharkman then received a text from Gazelle Girl stating that she would not be in attendance for the ride, due to having ridden at DTE the previous day, and having another ride later on Saturday at Yankee Springs! 

Wait....what??? The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" missing a ride for another ride?!? What the.........?

Tell us that can't be true! Ah, but there was much more to the story.......so stay with Belo News as the drama builds.........

Right on cue, as Yeti Boy rode up in his Guiness jersey, a light drizzle started as the two riders headed west.

As quickly as the rain started, it stopped, yet there was a bit of a mist in the air as the rides picked up Reb, sporting a Samuel Adams Beer T shirt, and his wingman (woman), Fire.

Even with a stop to allow Sharkman to remove his rain jacket, the ride over was one of the quicker rides of the year and without any whining from Reb! A portent of what was to come?!?

The four saw Wishbone, getting his traditional espresso before the ride at the Klutch, as well as some of the early morning koffee group as they waived their hero's past on their way to the start.

Hermster in his Dad's Root
Beer Jersey!!! Close enough!!

At the start, the riders started to pour in, most of them without the requested Beer Jersey's. There was one surprise as Hermster rode in with a Beer Jersey!!! Well, not an actual "beer jersey" per se, but a Dad's "ROOT" Beer Jersey! Close enough, Hermster!!! 

Of course, Brewman arrived, but by car, stating he had a rough night on the job tasting beer somewhere.....and wearing one of his many beer jerseys, today's selection from the Old Mission Brewery, Jolly Pumpkin and who doesn't love a bit of pumpkin spice in their  fall beer?

Brewman with his Jolly Pumpkin
Kit!!!

Riders continued to pile into the start, some with beer jersey's and some without, but it was shaping up to be another great morning on the Shark Minion Tour!!

Bissell Boy, in his Bells jersey, rode in with his entourage of Luke Sky Walker, and the Legend, hizzelf, Stryker Guy. Both had just returned from the Triple Bypass and were looking fit and ready to ride on the day.

Wishbone was also there in his Bell's Jersey, savng a tie on the day with those two Guinness riders, Sharkman and Yeti Boy!

Yeti Boy and the Shark, hizzelf,
showing off their Guinness Kit!

Bissell Boy was rocking his
Bell kit under a wind vest!

Wishbone in his Bell's kit,
saving the tie for Bell's!

Fire was on hand, sans
Beer kit.....

Rounding out the female 
division was Snow White,
sans Beer kit as well!

Stroker arrived, sans any
Beer kit......

Skittles drove in, and ON TIME!
He was ready to rock on the day!

Even Rocketman showed up in time to start with the mighty Shark Minion Nation, for the first time this season!

Sharkman got things started for the 15 Shark Minions as the sound of pedals clicking in and a cheer from the throngs of paparazzi and tofosi rose up throughout the greater Galesburg area.

The Nation rode through the town, waving at the tofosi, then on to the start on 36th street, where the group of Skittles, Fire and Yeti Boy escorted our intrepid hero northward.

As they approached the honorary sprint, a blinking headlight in the road greeted them and it was none other than long lost Shark Minion, Falcon, returning to the fold!

As he turned, he came after Sharkman as if to again, try to steal the honorary sprint. 

But then he heard Sharkman shout out, "So still an A#% Hole, eh?" to which Falcon pounded the Sharkman on the back and said, "good to be back" as Sharkman took his honorary sprint with a grin, knowing he did not have to make anyone "personna non grata!"

The Falcon had returned!!!

At the first G Ave. crossing there were 16 riders and things got rocking fast. With both Skittles and Luke Skywalker at the front doing a lot of pulling, the pace continued to climb as the riders headed north.

Up the Col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church and on through Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and after a slight "sit up" at the turn to the final Rt. 43 finish, the mighty Shark Minion Nation was on fire!!!

After the climb at the col de Norte, and into the Holy Rollers, Skittles and Luke Skywalker kept things moving with a cast of thousands on their tails.

Then, at the Digital Divide, it happened.....

Was it an aberration? Was the Nation entering a different realm of reality? Were they so oxygen deprived they were hallucinating? Could it have been, could it possibly be.....

As the Nation was coming to a stop, for the second week in a row there was little to no traffic at the Digital Divide and the Nation only had a motorcycle across the way, turning left but waving the Nation on! The Shark Minions then quickly began to cross the Digital Divide and.... Like the scene from the movie, El Cid, when Charlton Heston rides out of the castle strapped to his horse and the sun glistening off his shield, there, on the motorcycle, lifting his visor, was none other than the phantom we know as .........Mad Dog! YES, THAT MAD DOG!!!

The Nation went wild with excitment!! Had he ridden out to see the Nation, to perhaps lead out Gazelle Girl, who was not in the peloton, to her coveted GGG Spot Sprint? Was he there to ride with the Nation once again, though on his BMW? 

Or was it just someone who looked EXACTLY like Mad Dog and the Nation only wishing he was back in the confines of the Shark Minion peloton on theiir beloved "Field of Dreams?" 

Alas, the Shark Minion Nation may never know.....as the Nation was hustling across the road, struggling to understand what had just happened, .....Mad Dog, or whatever aberration it may have been, was gone like a phantom......he had ridden into the sun, a distant memory, aberrition or ghost........come back Mad Dog, come back.......

With the image of Mad Dog lingering in their minds and on their tongues, the Nation bore down even more in the pace line run up to the GGG Spot Sprint. With Skittles at the front, pulling the train, Sharkman noticed his speedometer running as high as 27 mph but never lower than 24 mph.....oh, the humanity, this would be one ride for the ages!!!

The Shark Minions first stop after 
Sharkman's Honorary
Sprint!

As the fast moving line of faithful Shark Minions continued and with no "Sweetheart of the Peloton" to lead out, it was each Shark Minions for themzzelves! 

It is not known if it was because the young Skittles was so fast, or if it was for respect for that humongus and fast pull and what it took to get there, but no one contested the streaking Skittles who then took the sprint and immediatly awarded it to Gazelle Girl in abstentia!!!

It was, indeed, a victory for America!!!

As the Shark Minion Nation moved to final assault on the finish, the ole Sharkman was a bit concerned there might be some jamming up with no clear cut rabbit to split the peleton up, and such rabbits at the front.

Gazelle Girl sharing THE story!

However, young Luke Skywalker, immediately threw himself on his sword and went to the lead to put in a huge pull, taking the speed up north of 26-27 mph!

Like the stud that he is, Luke Skywalker pealed off at the base of the final ascent having done a great job of splitting up the peloton and as Skittles, Rocketman, CycloCross, Falcon, Bissell Boy and Sharkman continued, on having opened up a gap with the rest of the peloton.

At the top of the climb and on to the descent to the finish, the peleton began to crack and it was then that Skittles made his move to the finish! Rocketman made a counter attack as Sharkman came from the back to try to catch at least Rocketman and make the podium.

Sharkman actually thought he was away and did not see CycoCross, who with a second wind, came up on the left of the ole Shark at the finish to rob Sharman of his third spot on the podium!

Final ride pace, a season high of 19.73 mph! Oh, the humanity!!!

It was another great day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation as the riders worked their way to the Press Conference at the Koffee Klutch along the Champs le Galesburg to the cheers of the paparzzi and tofosi!!!

Shark Minions enjoying the Press Conference!

Even better, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter were not only waiting, but Gazelle Girl had bought the koffee!!!

This IS a great country!!! How can it get any better?!?

Well, you can hear the real story of why Gazelle Girl wasn't in attendance, that's how you can make it an even better morning!!!

Anonymous sources, close to Gazelle Girl, shared that...oh, hell, what is Belo News trying to pull off here..........Gazelle Girl herzzelf mentioned to the table she was seated at, as she sipped her Bottomless, that she had been at a party late the previous evening and took advantage of the wrong pile of brownies, which lead to a later night and more partying than she had factored in after a hard ride on Friday and the thought of two rides on Saturday. The Nations "Sweetheart of the Peloton" was actually partied out!!!

More disappointingly, she will be gone for the next three Saturday's on a trip north to the U.P! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

So many Minions stopped at the Press Conference that they took up two tables at the Koffee Klutch, but Leslie and Ron had no problem handling the mass of tofosi, paparazzi and riders who poured in for a Bottomless and great conversation.

The season is getting short and though Gazelle Girl and Toesetter will be gone the next three weeks, the ride will go on!

This Saturday, September 11, 2021

"Red, White & Blue Day" in memory of all those lost 20 years ago on 9/11!

Break out your red, white & blue kit for this memorial ride!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

SUPER TROOPER CHECKS IN FROM THE ROAD!!

Belo News

Late breaking news!

September 2, 2021

Super Troopers hitting the trails!!

Olympic Penninsula, WA. - Many in the mighty Shark Minion Nation have been asking where Super Trooper has been? He hasn't been seen since he showed up on his tandem with Gazelle Girl in back and kicked the Nations collective dorsals on the bike!!!

The Shark Nations own Super Trooper checked in this past week with his exploits out west. Let's hear from Super Trooper, hizzelf!!!

"It’s been great catching the news feeds on the Nation. 

I have missed most of the weekend rides. Currently I am in Washington heading to the Olympic Peninsula. I spent some time in Glacier NP. Then going to the Sun Road was beautiful! Montana didn’t disappoint , even down near Flathead Lake.  I’ll be dropping down to Oregon, possibly California, before returning to Michigan. 

Safe roads and happy trails! 

Oh, the beauty!!!

Donnie “Herman / Supertrooper” Munster"

Thanks for checking in, Super Trooper! 

Looks like a fanatastic trip!

Safe travels and we'll hold a spot in the mighty Shark Minion Nation for you until you return!!!

Safe travels!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.