WE CAME, WE SAW....…NOTHING!!

MINIONS RIDE "SHARKLESS!"

Styker Guy leads the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!

MINIONS RIDE "GAZELLE GIRLESS!!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!!! ...WHERE IS SHE???

YETI BOY, FIRE & REB, ROCK THE YANKEE SPRINGS

TIME TRIALS!!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE SHARK MINIONS RACING BARRY-ROUBAIX THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

On Special Assignment:

Stryker Guy reports!

September 25, 2021

Galesburg, Mi. - With no Sharkman OR Gazelle Girl in the mix, was there any adult supervision last Saturday??

Oh, yes there was! Well, sort of.......

Stryker Guy reports in!

No Sharkman, no problem for the Mighty Minions!  

The Sharkman has shown us the way even when he is away. 

The pavement was wet and the temperature a little chilly, but nothing too bad on the radar, so I headed toward Bissell Boy’s compound where he and his very fast son in law, Joe (Minion name TBD - Editors note....ScanMan), were waiting to make the trek to the launch site.  Along the way, Dr. Dave and virgin Minion Mike (Minion name TBD),  joined us just north of the infamous G Spot.  We were chatting about Nicki Minaj and Tic Tok when we came upon the Shark launch site only to find it…...EMPTY!!

What?  

No Minions, no pictures, no Squeaky, Gazelle Girl?  All of sudden, from a parking lot we could barely see, emerged the Hermster.  I attempted a selfie, which as you can see, was a complete train wreck.  

Maybe Sharkman isn't so bad at selfies?
Or Stryker Guy was in a hurry to pay for koffee?
Good thing he waited for Brewman!

OK, it was time to launch for the few and the proud, when out of nowhere, Brewman, skidded up to the launch and joined the group.  I whined openly about my bum knee, hoping to get some sympathy and lower the pace, but was soon disappointed as Bissell Boy and Virgin Mike (a former Stryker colleague) busted out and took the Sharkman Honorary Sprint.  

In fact, Bissell Boy, who is apparently trying to win this week’s Barry Roubaix, won most of the sprints, showing his impressive form. 

The Hermster blew up the Peleton on the Holy Rollers, leaving us wondering if it was something we said earlier in the ride.  

We re-gathered at Frona’s (which is still not open on Saturday in case you wondered). The pace was civil (yours truly pulled approximately 75 feet) until we got to the Gull Lake Marine stop sign—we came to a complete stop GG!!

Dr. Dave led (drum roll) a PACE LINE to the G Spot, where BIssell Boy and Joe took the sprint.  Brewman sporting a non-beer jersey??? Was super strong down the stretch as usual, leading the boys down for the final sprint.  

Once again, Bissell Boy, the Hermster, Virgin Mike, Joe and Dr. Dave started their moves after Brewman’s lead to a fast and furious ending to a great ride.  

Let’s call it a tie at the finish.  I was very pleased with my 7th place finish and received a participation medal by the Galesburg City Fathers. 

Nearly everyone headed for the hills, leaving Dr. Dave to buy coffee for Virgin Mike and me.  As the season comes to an end, this group did the Nation proud. 

Thanks Stryker Guy for your rivetting report on a what sounds like, another fantastic day in the saddle!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Sharkman regrets he couldn't be there, but should be returning to the mighty Shark Minion Nation this weekend!!! Who knows, we might even see Gazelle Girl and Toesetter, who will be celebrating there Wedding Anniversary on Monday - Happy Annivesary to you both!!!

Saturday, October 2 (can it be October already?) 2021

Wear Any Jersey You Want Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Don't let Sharkman ride alone!!

YETI BOY, FIRE & REB ROCK THE YANKEE SPRINGS

TIME TRIALS!!

Yeti Boy, beer in hand,
on the podium!!

Belo News

September 26, 2021

Yankee Springs, Mi. - It was a great day for the mighty Shark Minion Nation as Shark Minions grabbed all the hardware at the Yankee Springs Mountian Bike Time Trials!!!

Reb reported that our own Yeti Boy and Fire both finished second in there race categories!!! 

Rumor has it that Yeti Boy might have easily won his age group had his back wheel not come loose, putting him over the handlebars before being able to realign the wheel and getting back into the race!

Meanwhile, Fire rocked the field in her first mountain bike race! Outstanding work!!!

Fire on the podium!!!

Belo News did not get a report on Reb, other than it was rumored he did compete in the race in a T shirt of some sort and did finish the event. It was not reported what race category he competed in, like the T shirt, clydesdale or old guy division, however, Belo News does thank him for the photos and the brief report.

Great job Shark Minions! You did the Nation proud!!!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE SHARK MINIONS RACING BARRY-ROUBAIX THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

September 29, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - This Saturday is the Barry-Roubaix Gravel Road Race and several of the Shark Minion Nation will be competeting!

Belo News and Sharkman, hizzelf, wishes the Shark Minion Nation a safe and successful race. 

Hopefully, Belo News will get some photos and reports from the ride.

Again, the Shark Minion Nation will ride this Saturday, though it might be Sharkman all by hizzelf, he should be there weather permitting!

Be there with our intrepid hero! Shark Minions don't let Sharkman ride alone!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

MSU TAKES COLLEGE GAME DAY!!!

SHARKMAN RAKES IN THE BOOTY ON SOUTH ROUTE!!

GREATEST DOWN HILL FINISH IN THE CYCLING WORLD!!!

CONTROVERSIAL FINISH?!? 

WAIT,.....WHAT?

College Game Day!!!

THIS SATURDAY, ANY JERSEY YOU WANT DAY!?!

SHARKLESS SATURDAY COMING UP!!?

Belo News

September 18, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was excited to don his Wisconsin kit for the first time this year!

Yes, it was College Game Day and it was also the first time the mighty Shark Minion Nation would be taking on the South Course. Not only a great day for college sports, but Sharkman knew he'd be raking in the dollars, pointing out all the sites on his beloved Tour of South Central Kalamazoo County!!!

Sharkman with his beloved
Shark Minions! Some Minions
may have been cut off.....

Yeti Boy was on time and the two launched from the Cove, picking up Reb (in a University of South Carolina Game Cock "T" shirt) and his wingman (woman) Fire. As they approached the Eaton Plant they were happy to greet Rule 24 Guy joining on for the ride as well!

After moving past the Klutch and waving to Wishbone, having his first kup of koffee on the day, the riders arrived at the start.....well, early......

Again, the pace to the start was high spirited and they clocked in a 17.6 mph average and arrived before they left?!? 

Oh, the humanity!

Riders started piling in. 

Brewman rolled in sporting the first of two MSU Jersey's on the day. Hermster had on a green jersey, but not MSU green. OKC was back in the fold after a long absence! Welcome back, OKC!!!

 Welcome back, OKC!

Snow White arrived and was on time and ready to ride. Wildman arrived wearing the Savanna College of Art and Design Kit of the Bees!!! 

Bissell Boy arrived, with his son in law, Scan Man, and was wearing his MSU kit giving MSU the win on the day, while Greyhound arrived as the sole U of M rider on the day.

After the start photo, the Nation signed some autographs for the tofosi and Sharkman even made another feeble attempt at getting a selfie with his beloved Nation of Shark Minions, but again, well.....just take a look at the photo and tell the Shark he needs to quit trying......

Before the start, Wishbone announced he would need to drop off early as he had planned to do the ride on the regular KK-TdG course and hadn't timed the south route and his need to drop off early, so his ride would be somewhat short lived. 

However, Sharkman mentioned he would only charge him a couple of buck for the tour of the South Course.

The Shark led the Nation out to the course and as they began the climb up QMan Hill, stated that the sprint was open to anyone.

Reb and Fire went to the front to pull and the peloton seemd to be involved in to much chatter to even notice what was going on up at the front.

Go Badgers!

The pace seemed a bit lethargic and Reb decided to lead the ole Sharkman out to take the first sprint as they topped out the hill and started the ride in earnest.

Through "Hawk Alley" and past the "the Sharkman's favorite house on the ride" he was raking in the dollars as Shark Minions couldn't help but look at the amazing sites as they haven't been on the route in over two seasons.

Hermster put in a big push in the run up to the 35th St. sprint and took it handily. 

As they approached 35th Street, OKC announced that he had a slow leak on his rear tire and had to head back. The ride was down to 12 riders as the Shark Minion Nation headed south.....

Past the water fall, the Tillers Farm and the cemetery, Sharkman was calling out the sites, raking in the money and shouting, $1.00 a look, no change!!! 

Wildman and Scan Man spent a lot of time at the front, doing humongus pulls, and the mighty Shark Minion train was moving like an out of control frieght train. 

But they also had a 10 mile an hour northeast wind behind them and wondered how long they could keep up the pace!

Reb in his South Carolina 
T shirt. Sorry for the blur,
but he's always moving!*

As they headed south past Indian Lake, Wildman, Scanman and Fire were moving so fast, Shark Minions began to fall off the pace!

But then...... they turned east, into the wind......oh, the humanity!!!

The Nation passed by Indian Lake, the Commercial Farm and then made the turn north towards Scot. Yeti went to the front and put his head down to pull into that wind. He was pounding so quickly, he passed the turn into Scots as riders yelled out to him to turn!!!

Through Scotts Mill, the scene of Yeti's crash the previous summer, the Post Office and Beauty Salon, Sharkman was shouting about dollars and smiling ear to ear as he knew his Accounts Receivable was climbing with each landmark!

Then......they headed north, into the teeth of that wind, down 36th Street towards the MN Sprint.

Greyhound went to the front to pull and after a while, Sharkman and Yeti shared the duties, never looking back, heads down and into the wind and unbeknownst to those three, Shark Minions were falling off the back.

Sharkman, who never thinks he can shake off the peloton, never gave it a thought as the Nation headed north. He and Yeti intersperced riding in the famous Greyhound Vortex with taking pulls at the front.

Rule 27 Guy was back!

Sharkman moved ahead to take the MN Sprint uncontested as the Nation pulled up to the stop sign.

Sharkman asked if all were on, but admittedly, did not do a count. Sharkman never gave a thought to riders not being on!!! When he heard the reply from several, "All on!" they moved to the final finish, the beloved "Greatest Down Hill Finish in the World of Cycling" finish!

Wildman went to the front with Sharkman, Greyhound and Yeti Boy on his wheel and a cast of thousands behind them. The pace picked up accordingly and Sharkman,  just behind Wildman, kept waiting for Greyhound, who was wearing irridecent yellow/green socks that showed promenently in Sharkmans mirrror was just off his wheel and to the left, out of the wind. Sharkman waited for a move from the Vortex known as Greyhound, hoping to catch his wheel and use it to the finish, but alas, it never came.

Sharkman calculated the finish distance and decided to go around Wildman before the curve and with the downhill momentem, hoping to shake whoever followed.

However, Greyhound was waiting and moved on to his wheel! Well played, Greyhound, well played...

Not sure what jersey  Yeti Boy
wore, but it wasn't Indiana!

At speeds north of 33 mph, Sharkman took a wide turn before the finish, hoping to block the surging Greyhound, and stunting any attempt to use him as a launch pad. However, the diminutave Shark could not hold him off as he sling shot around the intrepid hero with Fire on his wheel, who almost caught the second place surging Sharkman at the finish! Greyhound, Sharkman and Fire filled out the podium.

It was a victory for America and one of the closest finishes of the season. Too bad Reb missed it.....wait, what?!?

As the celebration took place at the stop sign and after a wait for the riders to gather, the Nation started to move to the Champs le Galesburg when they heard Reb yelling and screaming (actually a sort of whining kind of screaming and yelling) about being left behind.

Wait,....what? Sharkman could have sworn he saw Reb moving up behind him in his mirror, waiting to unleash a "Dick Move" at the bottom of the hill! Or was that a lack of oxygen as he held off the mighty Shark Minion Nation and particularly the Vortex known as the Greyhound? 

Oh, the humanity!

Reb went on to complain (whine) that he had gone back to ride with Hermster and Rule 24 Guy, who had fallen back when Greyhound, Sharkman and Yeti began to pull on 36th before MN and they were NOT ON, when the peloton stopped at the MN finish. Oh, the humanity!

When Reb, Hermster and Rule 24 Guy got to MN, the mighty Shark Minion Nation was no where to be found!!!

How could this happen!?!?

Brewman scored early with the
MSU Kit!

Though Sharkman was apologetic and tried to explain to Reb, he was heard to say afterward that he secretly relished the fact he was "left behind" because as much as he enjoys the South Route final sprint, his true love is whining and this would probably provide him that opportunity for many years into the future!

With Reb still whining, the hero's of the South Route headed down the Champs le Galesburg with the fans going wild along the way!

Wildman sprinted to the Klutch and threw down his credit card first and bought for the Nation!!

Is this a great country or what?!? Thanks Wildman!!

The Klutch was rocking and the paparzzi and tofosi were going crazy as Reb continued to whine and Sharkman continued to revele in the finish. 

OKC arrived at the Klutch to report he'd made it back, but not without a second flat tire and Rocketman appeared and had missed the start and did not realize the Nation was on the South Route on the day!! Oh, the humanity!!!

What a day in the saddle!!!

It was noted that the the pace had been up over 19 mph until the Nation headed into the wind, but even into the wind and a slow down, with the help of the greatest downhill finish in cycling, the finishing pace was still 19.14 mph! 

Oh, the humanity!!

Wishbone wearing a jersey
Reb may need....

ScanMan was back and riding strong!

Greyhound bringing it home
for Michigan!

Hermster and Cannondale
University!

Snow White with arm warmers
and bare shoulders?

Wildman in his SCAD Kit!

Bissell Boy puts MSU on top!
Oh, the humanity!

The Nation was rocking!

The SCAD Bee's!
Wildman in his cool kit! 

Not only great kit, but Wildman
bought the koffee

Yep, another great day in the Nation!

 

*Belo News apologizes that some photos are blurry and some didn't turn out at all. BN was experimenting with the Portrait Mode and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.....oh the humanity....... 

You won't want to miss this weeks edition as the season starts to wind down!

Depending on the October weather, the mighty Shark Minion Nation will continue to ride into October until it gets too cold and the Nation moves out to the Fort to finish the season.

This Saturday, September 25, 2021!

Wear any Jersey you want day!!! 

Is this a great country or what!?!

Sharkman can't make it this weekend but the ride goes on!!! That means if the weather is sketchy, it is every Shark Minion for themzelves!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!!!

Be there!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SHARKMAN'S ROUGH DAY IN THE SADDLE!?!

ATHLETIC MENTORS SWEEP!!

In Memory of those who gave their
lives in 9/11 R W & B kit day!!

GREAT RED, WHITE & BLUE TURNOUT!!

VIRGIN MINION NAMED!!!

SOCKS ROCK THE PELOTON!!!

COLLEGE GAME DAY THIS SATURDAY!!

Belo News

September 11, 2021

Shark Cove, MI. -  As dawn broke of the Shark Cove, our intepid hero, the Sharkman, didn't exactly leap out of bed. The ole Shark woke up felling a bit "lethargic," with a stuffy nose and a bit of nausea. As his feet hit the floor, he thought that after a cup of koffee he would feel fine and be ready for Red, White & Blue Kit day, in memory of 9/11.

Yet as he downed his first kup, and though most of the congestion seemed to release, he still wasn't feeling quite right as he donned his colorful, retro (according to Reb) kit to get ready. He had received his regular flu shot the day before, but had never had a reaction to a flu shot in the past and sort of dismissed it as something he had eaten......

As the garage door at the Cove slowly opened, there was Yeti Boy, who Sharkman had not expected as he had out of town guest but had decided to ride to the start and then back home. He had overdressed on the morning and was in tights and a jacket but rationalized, it would be a shorter ride for him.

After picking up Reb and Fire at Helmer road, the 4 riders seemed to be cruising at a faster than normal rate and actually, Sharkman recorded the max speed on the day on the hill leading down into Galesburg. The ole Shark wasn't feeling much better either, but not worse.....

At the start, they saw Jeff, a former Virgin Minion who was back for more fun in the mighty Shark Minion Nation. Wearing a red, white & blue tank top (he stated he did not have a cycling jersey in those colors) some thought his Minion name might become "Tank Top Guy" or simply "Tank." But the speculation did not end with those names and continued on the ride. 

Jeff, now known as "Boxer!"

Shark Minions continued to pour into the start, many decked out in their best Red, White & Blue Kit.

The most amazing distinction this week was the number of Red, White & Blue socks the mighty Shark Minion Nation put on display!!!

Hermster, for the second week in a row, astounded the crowds with his kit! Not only a great USA, Red, White & Blue extravaganza of kit, but very interesting Red, White & Blue socks!!!

Hermster with his Memorial
kit!!

And check out Hermsters 
cool socks!!!

Get a load of those babies, ladies and gentleminions!!!

Oh, the humanity!!!

And that wasn't all!!!

Sharkman's entourage was also in colors, well....except for Yeti Boy who was heading home anyway and was way over dressed......

Yeti was dressed for a Nordic
expedition!

Fire was decked out in very interesting Red, White & Blue kit with a butterfly, while Reb claimed his "Jeep" T shirt qualified because a.) it had red, white & blue in it AND Jeep was an all American vehicle. 

However, in the spirit of transparency, Reb does own a Jeep.

Oh, and red seemed to be absent from the T shirt.

But we digress......

Fire in her "Butterfly"
American kit!

Riders continued to pull into the start and unload their steads as the mighty Shark Minion Nation gathered to rock the field of dreams known lovinlgy as the KK-TdG!

We don't see any red ,
but OK, Reb, nice try!

It was an extravaganza of color as 13 Shark Minions continued to arrive!!!

Brewman in the ever popular
Victory Jersey!!!

Wishbone in his Red & White
kit?

Maid Marion & Cricket with
Athletic Mentor's win the
day!

The socks ruled!!

The Legend known as
Stryker Guy in his R,W&B kit!
Stunning!!

Greyhound rocking it in his colors!!!

Hoosier Boy missed the memo!!...

As the mighty Shark Minion Nation began to line up for the start photo, they patiently awaited Snow White, who had driven in late and was trying to get her bike ready to ride with some adjustments and air in the tires. 

Sharkman tried to hurry her along as the the Nation was ready to rock and he stated that there were 13 riders with Snow White and how he hated that number of riders. One of the Minion shouted out to take picture so there was only 12 riders in the photo. So he did!!

And that is how Snow White got left out of the start photo!

Sorry Snow White, you snooze you lose, though the nation did wait for her to get to the start line before Sharkman called out the launch.

Though the respite from riding over had given Sharkman a second wind, it was very short lived.

As the Nation headed north, Reb and Fire surrounded to our hero, as they saw an approachign rider.

It was none other than Falcon and Sharkman commented to Falcon that he was very glad to see him. Falcon responded, "why?" Good question! 

Sharkman responded that Falcon made 14 riders and he liked that number way better!!!

Shortly after, Cricket came to the front to lead our intrepid hero out. Though Sharkman was appreciative and Cricket was extremely attentive, he almost killed the ole Shark with the lead out. Actually, Sharkman saw 32 mph come up on his Garmin and commented to Cricket, "don't spit me out!!!"

Though Falcon began to move up on the pair, as the speed continued, even he fell off that pace. 

To Cricket's credit, he delivered the Sharkman to his coveted honorary sprint at a season record speed!!!

After the G Ave. crossing, our intrepid hero sat in and tried to figure out what happening to him and how he was not only going to finish, but then get back to the Shark Cove!

As the ride went on, he struggled to stay on as the Nation headed up the Col de Twin lakes, past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub with Cricket and Maid Marion putting in huge pulls, though continuing to look back to insure all were on.

Sharkman was doing well to stay and ocassionally even at the front, but as the ride progressed, he wasn't feeling much better.....

After the climb up the col de Norte he was really feeling it as the pace picked up and he fought to hang on. Every time Greyhound went by, Sharkman grabbed his wheel to try to sit in the "vortex" known as the Greyhounds wake! Sharkman does want to apologize for all those riders he pushed out of the way to grab Greyhounds wheel in the process, particularly Hoosier Boy...

None the less, he was the last rider into the Feed Stop as the Nation got ready for the home stretch.

With Cricket and Maid Marion continuing to do the heavy lifting, the Nation moved on past the Digital Divide, where Sharkman went to the front to get the pace line started before dropping off at the top of the first hill and turning it back over to Athletic Mentors and Cricket asked, "in the absence of Gazelle Girl, who get's the GGG Spot Sprint?" To which Sharkman stated, "it is every Shark Minion for themzelves!!!"

The pace line was humming along so well, no one contested Team Athletic Mentors who easily took the sprint.

After the Nation crossed the GGG Spot and headed south for the final assault on the finish, the pace line was slow to start up. No one seemed to want to go out front and the speed dogs were nipping at the rear of the peloton to see who would go first so they could get into position for the final surge.

Surprisingly, Reb came forward to try to lead the charge and got the speed up but not enough to splinter the peloton, while the sprinters hovered at the back waiting to pounce. Sharkman was feeling so bad, he didn't even worry about a bunched up finish and knowing that when Team Athletic Mentors broke loose, no one would be able to contest anyway.

Just before the final climb, Cricket and Maid Marion made their moves to the front followed by a small group, then the AARP charge came on shortly after with that legend of the Peloton, Stryker Guy leading the pack of more mature riders.

Again, Sharkman saw Greyhound come by and he latched on to that wheel as best he could and settling into his vortex wake.

As the fast moving Shark Minion train bore down on the finish, it was Maid Marion, Cricket and Wishbone that grabbed the podium spots!!!

It was a victory for Athletic Mentors!!! 

Sharkman was just grateful he survived.

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild as our hero's rode down the Champs le Galesburg to the Press Conference at the Koffee Klutch where our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was so glad he survived, he bought the koffee!!!!

Wait,.....what?!? That's right Bunkie! Sharkman bought!!!

Raptore showed up in time
for koffee!

The back of Raptor's Jersey!!!

Raptor even gave Wishbone
a kiss on the head for 
his podium finish!!!

Wishbone was so worked up after his podium finish he got up to make a speech and then demanded the Nation take a vote on Jeff's Shark Minion name. Reb, had recommended "Boxer" because Jeff works for a container manufacturer. Other names included Snake, 

Boxer unsure of his new Shark 
Minion Name, while Stryker Guy
takes refill orders!

because he had a Snake on his tank top, Tank, or Tank Top Guy because of the tank top jersey he wore. After a heated debate and a counting of votes, the new Shark Minion name was determined to be.......drum roll please.........Boxer!!!

Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Boxer!!!

The Klutch was packed with people! No, really!!! Ron and Leslie were jumping around like one armed wallpaper hangers!

The joint was rocking.....

As you can see, every table full!!
Oh, the humanity!

It had been so busy, it took a while for Sharkman to get the bill! However, he was in no hurry to get back on his beloved Litespeed, as he was "hitting the wall" and thinking of the climb up the Galesburg hill.

Thankfully, Fire kept the pace and the conversation going and Sharkman was able to limp home.

He ate as soon as he got to the Shark Cove and then took a 2 hour nap. But still did not feel well until the following day. Though he was glad it was only for a day, it couldn't bave been a worse day to be under the weather, but is looking forward to next weeks ride!

Saturday, September 18, 2021

College Game Day! Break out your favorite College Kit and see which school takes the day!!!

Since we haven't done the south course in some time, Sharkman suggests we take that route!

Plus he can use a few bucks so he will be pointing out scenic views attraction for only $1.00 a look!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! BE READY TO RIDE AT 8:30 A.M!!!

Remember, South route so you must be at the start!!!

Be there!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

WHERE WAS GAZELLE GIRL?!??

BROWNIES? WAIT,....WHAT???

MAD DOG SIGHTING?!?? COULD IT BE??!

GUINNESS AND BELL'S TIE ON BEER JERSEY DAY!!!

Beer Jersey Day at the KK-TdG!!!

THE RETURN OF CYCOCROSS!!!

9/11 MEMORIAL - RED, WHITE & BLUE KIT DAY!!!

SUPER TROOPER CHECKS IN FROM THE ROAD!!

Belo News

September 4, 2021

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn broke with threatening sky, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, jumped from his shark bed when he heard a weather alert come in on his shark phone.

The return of CycoCross!!!

Weather alert? It was supposed to be a sunny day, albiet a bit cool at the start.......

The alert stated that rain was to begin at 7:30 a.m., ending shortly......?

So he donned his new Guinness Jersey, courtesy of Yeti's Boy's son in law, Leo and then got his rain jacket.

Sharkman then received a text from Gazelle Girl stating that she would not be in attendance for the ride, due to having ridden at DTE the previous day, and having another ride later on Saturday at Yankee Springs! 

Wait....what??? The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" missing a ride for another ride?!? What the.........?

Tell us that can't be true! Ah, but there was much more to the story.......so stay with Belo News as the drama builds.........

Right on cue, as Yeti Boy rode up in his Guiness jersey, a light drizzle started as the two riders headed west.

As quickly as the rain started, it stopped, yet there was a bit of a mist in the air as the rides picked up Reb, sporting a Samuel Adams Beer T shirt, and his wingman (woman), Fire.

Even with a stop to allow Sharkman to remove his rain jacket, the ride over was one of the quicker rides of the year and without any whining from Reb! A portent of what was to come?!?

The four saw Wishbone, getting his traditional espresso before the ride at the Klutch, as well as some of the early morning koffee group as they waived their hero's past on their way to the start.

Hermster in his Dad's Root
Beer Jersey!!! Close enough!!

At the start, the riders started to pour in, most of them without the requested Beer Jersey's. There was one surprise as Hermster rode in with a Beer Jersey!!! Well, not an actual "beer jersey" per se, but a Dad's "ROOT" Beer Jersey! Close enough, Hermster!!! 

Of course, Brewman arrived, but by car, stating he had a rough night on the job tasting beer somewhere.....and wearing one of his many beer jerseys, today's selection from the Old Mission Brewery, Jolly Pumpkin and who doesn't love a bit of pumpkin spice in their  fall beer?

Brewman with his Jolly Pumpkin
Kit!!!

Riders continued to pile into the start, some with beer jersey's and some without, but it was shaping up to be another great morning on the Shark Minion Tour!!

Bissell Boy, in his Bells jersey, rode in with his entourage of Luke Sky Walker, and the Legend, hizzelf, Stryker Guy. Both had just returned from the Triple Bypass and were looking fit and ready to ride on the day.

Wishbone was also there in his Bell's Jersey, savng a tie on the day with those two Guinness riders, Sharkman and Yeti Boy!

Yeti Boy and the Shark, hizzelf,
showing off their Guinness Kit!

Bissell Boy was rocking his
Bell kit under a wind vest!

Wishbone in his Bell's kit,
saving the tie for Bell's!

Fire was on hand, sans
Beer kit.....

Rounding out the female 
division was Snow White,
sans Beer kit as well!

Stroker arrived, sans any
Beer kit......

Skittles drove in, and ON TIME!
He was ready to rock on the day!

Even Rocketman showed up in time to start with the mighty Shark Minion Nation, for the first time this season!

Sharkman got things started for the 15 Shark Minions as the sound of pedals clicking in and a cheer from the throngs of paparazzi and tofosi rose up throughout the greater Galesburg area.

The Nation rode through the town, waving at the tofosi, then on to the start on 36th street, where the group of Skittles, Fire and Yeti Boy escorted our intrepid hero northward.

As they approached the honorary sprint, a blinking headlight in the road greeted them and it was none other than long lost Shark Minion, Falcon, returning to the fold!

As he turned, he came after Sharkman as if to again, try to steal the honorary sprint. 

But then he heard Sharkman shout out, "So still an A#% Hole, eh?" to which Falcon pounded the Sharkman on the back and said, "good to be back" as Sharkman took his honorary sprint with a grin, knowing he did not have to make anyone "personna non grata!"

The Falcon had returned!!!

At the first G Ave. crossing there were 16 riders and things got rocking fast. With both Skittles and Luke Skywalker at the front doing a lot of pulling, the pace continued to climb as the riders headed north.

Up the Col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church and on through Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and after a slight "sit up" at the turn to the final Rt. 43 finish, the mighty Shark Minion Nation was on fire!!!

After the climb at the col de Norte, and into the Holy Rollers, Skittles and Luke Skywalker kept things moving with a cast of thousands on their tails.

Then, at the Digital Divide, it happened.....

Was it an aberration? Was the Nation entering a different realm of reality? Were they so oxygen deprived they were hallucinating? Could it have been, could it possibly be.....

As the Nation was coming to a stop, for the second week in a row there was little to no traffic at the Digital Divide and the Nation only had a motorcycle across the way, turning left but waving the Nation on! The Shark Minions then quickly began to cross the Digital Divide and.... Like the scene from the movie, El Cid, when Charlton Heston rides out of the castle strapped to his horse and the sun glistening off his shield, there, on the motorcycle, lifting his visor, was none other than the phantom we know as .........Mad Dog! YES, THAT MAD DOG!!!

The Nation went wild with excitment!! Had he ridden out to see the Nation, to perhaps lead out Gazelle Girl, who was not in the peloton, to her coveted GGG Spot Sprint? Was he there to ride with the Nation once again, though on his BMW? 

Or was it just someone who looked EXACTLY like Mad Dog and the Nation only wishing he was back in the confines of the Shark Minion peloton on theiir beloved "Field of Dreams?" 

Alas, the Shark Minion Nation may never know.....as the Nation was hustling across the road, struggling to understand what had just happened, .....Mad Dog, or whatever aberration it may have been, was gone like a phantom......he had ridden into the sun, a distant memory, aberrition or ghost........come back Mad Dog, come back.......

With the image of Mad Dog lingering in their minds and on their tongues, the Nation bore down even more in the pace line run up to the GGG Spot Sprint. With Skittles at the front, pulling the train, Sharkman noticed his speedometer running as high as 27 mph but never lower than 24 mph.....oh, the humanity, this would be one ride for the ages!!!

The Shark Minions first stop after 
Sharkman's Honorary
Sprint!

As the fast moving line of faithful Shark Minions continued and with no "Sweetheart of the Peloton" to lead out, it was each Shark Minions for themzzelves! 

It is not known if it was because the young Skittles was so fast, or if it was for respect for that humongus and fast pull and what it took to get there, but no one contested the streaking Skittles who then took the sprint and immediatly awarded it to Gazelle Girl in abstentia!!!

It was, indeed, a victory for America!!!

As the Shark Minion Nation moved to final assault on the finish, the ole Sharkman was a bit concerned there might be some jamming up with no clear cut rabbit to split the peleton up, and such rabbits at the front.

Gazelle Girl sharing THE story!

However, young Luke Skywalker, immediately threw himself on his sword and went to the lead to put in a huge pull, taking the speed up north of 26-27 mph!

Like the stud that he is, Luke Skywalker pealed off at the base of the final ascent having done a great job of splitting up the peloton and as Skittles, Rocketman, CycloCross, Falcon, Bissell Boy and Sharkman continued, on having opened up a gap with the rest of the peloton.

At the top of the climb and on to the descent to the finish, the peleton began to crack and it was then that Skittles made his move to the finish! Rocketman made a counter attack as Sharkman came from the back to try to catch at least Rocketman and make the podium.

Sharkman actually thought he was away and did not see CycoCross, who with a second wind, came up on the left of the ole Shark at the finish to rob Sharman of his third spot on the podium!

Final ride pace, a season high of 19.73 mph! Oh, the humanity!!!

It was another great day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation as the riders worked their way to the Press Conference at the Koffee Klutch along the Champs le Galesburg to the cheers of the paparzzi and tofosi!!!

Shark Minions enjoying the Press Conference!

Even better, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter were not only waiting, but Gazelle Girl had bought the koffee!!!

This IS a great country!!! How can it get any better?!?

Well, you can hear the real story of why Gazelle Girl wasn't in attendance, that's how you can make it an even better morning!!!

Anonymous sources, close to Gazelle Girl, shared that...oh, hell, what is Belo News trying to pull off here..........Gazelle Girl herzzelf mentioned to the table she was seated at, as she sipped her Bottomless, that she had been at a party late the previous evening and took advantage of the wrong pile of brownies, which lead to a later night and more partying than she had factored in after a hard ride on Friday and the thought of two rides on Saturday. The Nations "Sweetheart of the Peloton" was actually partied out!!!

More disappointingly, she will be gone for the next three Saturday's on a trip north to the U.P! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

So many Minions stopped at the Press Conference that they took up two tables at the Koffee Klutch, but Leslie and Ron had no problem handling the mass of tofosi, paparazzi and riders who poured in for a Bottomless and great conversation.

The season is getting short and though Gazelle Girl and Toesetter will be gone the next three weeks, the ride will go on!

This Saturday, September 11, 2021

"Red, White & Blue Day" in memory of all those lost 20 years ago on 9/11!

Break out your red, white & blue kit for this memorial ride!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

SUPER TROOPER CHECKS IN FROM THE ROAD!!

Belo News

Late breaking news!

September 2, 2021

Super Troopers hitting the trails!!

Olympic Penninsula, WA. - Many in the mighty Shark Minion Nation have been asking where Super Trooper has been? He hasn't been seen since he showed up on his tandem with Gazelle Girl in back and kicked the Nations collective dorsals on the bike!!!

The Shark Nations own Super Trooper checked in this past week with his exploits out west. Let's hear from Super Trooper, hizzelf!!!

"It’s been great catching the news feeds on the Nation. 

I have missed most of the weekend rides. Currently I am in Washington heading to the Olympic Peninsula. I spent some time in Glacier NP. Then going to the Sun Road was beautiful! Montana didn’t disappoint , even down near Flathead Lake.  I’ll be dropping down to Oregon, possibly California, before returning to Michigan. 

Safe roads and happy trails! 

Oh, the beauty!!!

Donnie “Herman / Supertrooper” Munster"

Thanks for checking in, Super Trooper! 

Looks like a fanatastic trip!

Safe travels and we'll hold a spot in the mighty Shark Minion Nation for you until you return!!!

Safe travels!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.