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| The mighty Shark Minion Nation minus B-Rod! |
PELOTON LEAVES SHARKMAN BEHIND?!?
ENTIRE PELOTON DQ'ED BY SHARKMAN!
B-ROD ANSWERS NATURES CALL?!?
SHARKMAN BUYS? NO WAY!
OH, THE HUMANITY!
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| Sharkman and his beloved Nation! |
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!
NIKEBOY CONQUERS MONT VENTOUX!
RETIREE LUNCH RIDE COMING UP SOON!
Belo News
September 8, 2018
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn delayed it's breaking over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, shook the sleep from his Shark head and fumbled to the bathroom in the dark. Our hero couldn't believe how dark it was and wondered if he needed to set the start time back a bit.
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| Maid Marian returns to the Nation! |
Sharkman was excited that the hot, humid weather had passed and embraced his arm warmers and his special tiger vest with gusto! Sharkman loves fall and as a Michigander, likes "sweatshirt weather."
By popular demand, it was "Animal Jersey Day" (actually, Gazelle Girl recommended it) and Sharkman had been told by the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" that sharks were fish and not animals. However, Sharkman could not control himself and went for one of his many Shark Jerseys, then covered it with a very dapper tiger striped vest that he assumed he would pull off at the start. After all, Sharkman IS and animal, right?
As dawn began to actually break, Yeti Boy pulled up, lights flashing, and commented on how dark it was.
Both riders headed out and found Brandy, herein known as Fire, her new Minion name (because she rides like her hair is on fire) just before they crossed Helmer Road. The three talked about Brandy not having a Minion Name yet, as she pushed the pace to the start and Sharkman and Yeti Boy commented on getting to the start about 10 minutes early. Later in the day, Yeti Boy texted that he thought her name should be "Fire." So Fire it is!
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| The Sailor returns to the Nation! |
Since they had arrived at the start a bit early, they found no one there. There was a bike event around Gull Lake on the day, and the old Shark assumed that some may be taking part. It was also the reason for the South Route on the morning.
However, shortly after thinking, "where is everyone," the riders started piling in!
A couple of Minions who haven't been in a while were Mike, Minion name "the Sailor," and Maid Marian. Welcome back, Minions!
Boatman pulled in with a dog on his jersey and he was looking like a possible winner in the "Animal Jersey" day, but then TanMan appeared and actually had both a fox AND an alligator on his jersey! Is this a great country or what?!?
Gazell Girl and another guy (this week it was Toesetter) rode in to cheers of "Gazelle Girl!," and she was, of course, sporting her Gazelle jersey! Well, the whole animal jersey thing was her idea......
Easty, Rocketman, Zyckmann, Hoosier Boy, Ironman and Cricket rode in and made the count 15 on the day. Belo News has an obligation to report all riders if there are 15 or less. However, B-Rod jumped on after Sharkman took the start photo and led the Nation out, making it 16! So Sharkman didn't have to remember all the names.......wait, that didn't work right........
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| Yeti Boy holding court before the ride...... |
As mentioned, the Nation headed out to the south route with Fire and Sharkman leading the Nation to the first turn leading up to Qman Hill.
Sharkman fell to the back, pressing the flesh before deciding to take the first sprint, which was not honorary! Of course, it helps to know where the sprints are!
As a matter of fact, he was so geeked, he also took the second sprint just because, well, he knew where that one was too!
This is a great country!
Zyckmann, decided he too, was going to take a sprint and took the third one after Cooks Cemetery!
Then we lost count or didn't care......
The Nation was feeling frisky and the pace picked up as it rode through Hawk Alley, past one of Sharkman's favorite houses and on to the waterfall, Tillers Ox Farm and Cook Cemetery.
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| Boatman was thinking he had won, Animal Jersey Day! |
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| Was a winner announced? |
Sharkman had given a pass on his sight seeing tour but was still pointing out the sights. As a matter of fact, since it was free, Zyckmann later thanked Sharkman for pointing out the Elf Tree House as he had never noticed it before (though Sharkman was pretty sure he had charged him for the sight in the past, though he, like many Minions, had not paid up!).
After crossing the first, of many, railroad tracks, B-Rod had a call from nature that he could not refuse! Unbeknownst to Sharkman, he told Zyckmann not to wait and he knew his way back to the Klutch. He came in later to the Klutch stating that after visiting a corn field and getting back on the bike, he found a port-o-jon at the Indian Run Golf Course just down the road!
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| TanMan had both a fox and an alligator on his jersey! |
Oh, the humanity!
As the Nation traversed the southern end of the route, Sharkman was directing traffic from the middle of the peloton and noticed that B-Rod and Toesetter were missing and went to the back of the peloton to look for them.
As the fast moving train headed toward the Scotts Mill, Sharkman, from way in the back, started yelling to make a right turn at the Mill! The Nation, moving fast, wasn't listening or couldn't hear and Sharkman stopped at the turn hoping they would realize their mistake and head back.
Meanwhile, Toesetter caught back on and that is when Zyckmann informed Sharkman of B-Rods nature stop! Sharkman doesn't like to leave any Minion behind, even during a nature break!
Oh, the humanity! But even worse, the mighty Shark Minion Nation had left the Sharkman behind!
This had not happened to Sharkman in 30 years of leading the ride!
The three riders decided to stay on course and hoped the Nation would figure out their mistake.
Sharkman immediately DQed the entire Nation!
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| Gazelle Girl and "other guy" arrive! |
Well, except for himself, Zyckmann and Toesetter.
The three rode through Scotts as Sharkman pointed out Scooters, the coffee shop and the historic Scotts Post office.
As they rode through town, Sharkman declared the three would be fighting it out for the podium spots as the rest of the Nation would not be eligible after being disqualified!
As the three riders headed north on 37th Street, they saw the rest of the Nation up ahead and as Sharkman crossed, yet another railroad track, he DQ'ed the entire Nation!
Shock fell over the peloton! DQ'ed? Wait, what?
As the Nation came back together the pace picked up as the fast moving train headed toward the best downhill finish in the entire cycling world!
In the run up to the MN Sprint, Sharkman made a move after sucking wheel for quite a while, but Easty came up to nip him at the line as Zyckmann called the two of them "Wheel Suckers!"
Sharkman calls it smart riding, well, unless someone does it to him!
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| Gazelle Girl in, what else, a Gazelle Jersey! |
At the MN crossing, Sharkman reminded everyone of the speed of the downhill finish and the importance of watching their lines and insuring they did not move out to pass without checking to insure they were clear.
The Nation began the decent to the finish as Cricket went out early with Sharkman and a cast of thousands on his wheel. About half way down the hill, Ironman, throwing himself again on his sword to stretch out the Nation, went by like Sharkman moving toward the refrigerator for that last beer!
Cricket quickly responded, leaving Sharkman with no wheel to suck as the Nation plummeted towards the final sprint victory!
Riders passed the old Shark until he got a second wind and fought his way back!
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| Fire had a beaver on her jersey! Whoa, wait a minute! |
Hitting speeds of close to 40 mph, the Nation was moving towards the finish like B-Rod looking to answer natures call in a corn field!
As the Nation made the final turn to the finish, the Sharkman saw Cricket, Zyckmann and TanMan finish as he took fourth!
However, since the disqualification, the actual finish was Zyckmann, Sharkman and Toesetter!
It was a victory for America! Is this a great country or what!?? Sharkman takes second for the second week in a row! Oh, the humanity!
Cricket, along with TanMan, immediately filed protests, however the Commissioner of Cycling stated that the DQ decision stands! Another victory for America!
The Nation headed down the Champs le Galesburg as the paparazzi and the tofosi went wild!
The Klutch was rocking, particularly since Sharkman was buying! Though he did tell the Barista, "No fu fu drinks!"
After the Nation was half way through their first Bottomless, B-Rod arrived and shared his story of "when nature calls, nature calls!" Oh, the humanity.
Koffee went a bit late, as the chatter about all the controversy went on, and on, and on........
Actually, the chatter went on so long, no one was awarded best animal jersey, but they did get a photo of Fire's beaver jersey!.......oh, the humanity
Sharkman noticed that he had not pulled off his dapper Tiger Vest the entire ride and had been quite comfortable in addition to being quite dapper!
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| Sharkman buys AND takes the photo! |
Fire pulled Sharkman home, as Yeti Boy had to get back and had left after the finish.
It was a great ride and you won't want to miss this weeks edition as the Nation goes back to their "Field of Dreams" the KK-TdG!
Saturday, September 15, 2018
Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Jersey Day!
Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be there!
RETIREE LUNCH RIDE COMING UP SOON!
Belo News
September 12, 2018
Zychmann Estate, Mi. - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE RETIRED TO RIDE!
BE THERE!
NIKEBOY CONQUERS MONT VENTOUX!
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| At the top! Nikeboy conquers Mont Ventoux! |
September 11, 2018
Mont Ventoux, France - A Minion at the top! Our own Nikeboy is in France this week and took on the legendary climb at Mont Ventoux! This regular stop on the Tour de France has given the world some of it's greatest race stories. And now, thanks to our Nikeboy, the mighty Shark Minion Nation has a story to tell!
Though when the photograph was texted to the offices of Belo News it came with a quick, "story to follow...." the story never came.
However, doing the in-depth investigative reporting that Belo News has come to be famous for, it was learned that Nikeboy had given interviews to Bicycling, Velo News, Outside, Men's Journal, Rapha Design Quarterly, Battle Creek Enquirer, M-Live and, well, just about anyone who will listen to him!
The "Style Guy," as he is sometimes know as because of his penchant for designer cycling attire was quoted as saying, "The climb started immediately as we set off from the Trek dealer in Bedoin. Climb was just a tad over 12 miles, almost 6,000 feet, average grade of 8% with a lot of places above 10%.'
It took the legendary rider 2:28 to complete the climb!
You did the Nation proud Nikeboy! Congratulations!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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