TWENTY MINIONS ON THE KK-TdG!

STRYKER GUY GOING CROSS COUNTRY!

BANJOVI ROCKS THE HOUSE!

NEW TUESDAY NIGHT RECORD!

SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

May 28, 2016

Stryker Guy/Cover Girl

Galesburg, Mi. - As dawn broke over Gull Lake??!!

What’s this?

This weeks's celebrity writer!
Stryker Guy/Cover Girl

Not the Shark Cove?

Well, the guest writer does not live at or near the Shark Cove, so that’s where dawn broke—enough!

Stryker Guy (Cover Girl) was looking for friends to ride down to the launch point and found Luke Kujacznski to pull him to the start.

A flat tire just before 36^th street almost derailed us, but Luke quickly jumped in and got us/me back on track.

Just because he could, Luke pulled like a farm mule to put us on the last Minion wheel before the first climb. Thank You!

The Nation was twenty strong, with the usual suspects, Hoosier Boy, Zyckmann, Yeti Boy etc. and with BRod and Skittles pushing the pace early. Squeaky squeaked his way out of the pack to claim the first sprint uncontested. The boys and the bell of the peloton, Gazelle Girl, were pretty frisky (to this reporter) as the pace quickened and generally didn’t let up (+20mph average).

Wildman (Pete Townsend) was right up in front at the Col de Twin Lakes, showing that rock stars can bounce back after a huge concert the night before. Rain Man was in the lead pack in spite of the fact that it was a bit cloudy and a few drops of rain actually hit the pavement during the ride. (for the record, no rain gear came out in spite of the four drops of rain).

Mad Dog sporting the Pink Jersey in honor of the Giro d’Italia, was leading the nation through the county club rollers. B-Rod said the lead group hit 34mph through this section. Zyckmann showed fine form on the stretch to the top of M-43 as he get ready for his Big Greek Holiday this week.

Ironman, Easty, Ranger Rick, Kid Doster, pushed the pace through the Holy Rollers and Rainman suggested breakfast at Frona’s??

Believe it or not!!! The Nation actually performed a proper pace line (yes Sharkman it happened) all the way from M-89 to the G-Spot (is that what we call it?) Gazelle Girl easily took the sprint.

The final section was characteristically fast and furious.

A couple guys in Clark Logic kits, in orange helmet's, got things moving early and it never let up. The winners were so far ahead of me all I can tell you is a couple guys on bikes battled it out near the stop sign and someone won.

The gang settled in for coffee and to hear about the concert from the Sharkman, who was busy signing T-Shirts for local Galesburg groupies.

Zyckmann had actually stopped in earlier and pre-purchased the Nation's koffee, including our intrepid hero, the Sharkman's! Is this a great country or what?!?

THANK YOU ZYCKMANN!

I know I missed some names and I apologize to anyone I left out.

Respectfully,

SG

See you in August!

My blog site will be up in about a week slowoldnstupid.com

Stay tuned!

Editors Note – Wow, another great write up! Can these Minions write or what?!?

We will miss Stryker Guy/Cover Girl as he heads cross country! (see next story) But the Nation will hold his spot in the peloton for his return!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

It will be SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY! That's right, Bunkie, get our you Shark Kit and show your pride in being part of the mighty Minion Nation! Oh, the humanity!

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

STRYKER GUY GOING CROSS COUNTRY!

Belo News

Stryker Guy and his Shark
Minion Jersey!

June 1, 2016

Gull Lake, Mi. - As previously reported, legendary rider, Stryker Guy/Cover Girl, known through out the cycling world for his now famous cover spread on a local magazine, will be taking off to ride across this great country of ours! Oh, the humanity! He will be leaving in the very near future and will be on the road for over two months! He will also be reporting his exploits on a blog so that all the world can enjoy (or suffer) right along with this world famous rider! We here at Belo News will be highlighting the ride from his blog. All Minions should book mark this blog to follower this hero!

slowoldnstupid.com

Make the Nation proud, Stryker Guy! We'll be pulling for you!

BANJOVI ROCKS THE HOUSE!

Belo News

Great Dane, Sharkman & Wildman rock the Klutch

May 27, 2016

Galesburg, Mi. - As the world now knows, Banjovi rocked the house at their debut concert at the Koffee Klutch in downtown Galesburg!

Playing to a packed house, with several of their groupies, aka Banjovi's Witnesses, in attendance, the audience was captivated by song and stories! 

It was a night of ukulele infused Blue Grass that included Elton Grass AND Bon Jovi Grass!

As one critic put it, “Sheer entertainment! First time I've ever heard “Rocket Man,” “Don't Stop Believin,” “Livin' On A Prayer” and “Old Time Rock n Roll” with a guitar, banjo & ukulele!

Great job Banjovi!”

Great job indeed! The audience sang, laughed and really got into the act and rumor has it that they will be back in July! If you missed this concert, you won't want to miss the next one! Oh, the humanity! Stay tuned for upcoming concert dates for Banjovi and you too, can become a Banjovi Witness!

NEW TUESDAY NIGHT RECORD!

Belo News

May 31, 2016

Battle Creek, Mi. - Well, it finally happened! The Tuesday Night Chain Gang group worked together to break the two year old season average speed record this past Tuesday night.

Not only did they break it, but they shattered the previous record of 21.7 mph set in the summer of 2011 by turning in an average speed of 22.4 mph! Oh, the humanity!

The team of Tow Truck, Rainman, Hossman and Mad Dog worked together to blast the previous record out of the record books!

Rainman reported that Mad Dog was on fire and pushed the group to the record!

 Congratulations, Minions, you did the Nation proud!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.