25 MIGHTY MINIONS!

The mighty Minion Nation!
Photo #2

STANDING ROOM ONLY AT THE KLUTCH!?!

SKIPPER RETURNS TO BUY KOFFEE FOR THE SHARKMAN!

STRYKER GUY NEW COVER GIRL?

SHARKMAN TICKETED FOR BEING OUT OF TUNE!

WINDY TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE!!!

Belo News

April 23, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was excited to get back in the saddle after having been snowed out and then gone mountain biking in Santa Fe for a week. The old Shark missed his Mighty after two weeks and was anxious to get back in the mix!

Mighty Minion Nation!
Photo #1

Start time temps were about 45 degrees, making it one of those “tweener” days where it can be difficult to determine what to wear. Certain he was overdressed, our hero headed over to Rainman's and immediately started thinking he might be under dressed!

As he circled in the street waiting for Rainman, Nikeboy arrived looking his usual dapper self in a smart ensemble of black and orange.

Let's face it, the man knows how to style!

Rainman joined the two as they headed to the start.

Dot-Dot-Dash was back!
Nikeboy looking good in back!

As the three crested the hill at the Humane Society, up rode Mad Dog, having already put in a few miles to warm up on the day.

The riders found the construction on I-94 bridge had begun and Sharkman muttered, “I hope this is done when I come back in July!”

The riders had made record speed to get to Galesburg with the 10-15 mph east winds. Sharkman already began lamenting the ride back to the Cove into the wind, but commented he had the young Minions to pull him home.

Sharkman stopped at the Klutch to use the restroom while Mad Dog stopped to get an espresso.

Uh, what is that all about?

Gazelle Girl makes her entrance!

When Sharkman got to the start he was amazed at the mass of humanity gathering on this cool day. It was also one of the earliest arrivals he had at the start.

At 8:45 a.m. there were at least 18 riders already in the parking lot, ready to roll!

Both B-Rod and Sasquatch were sporting new bikes! Brewman, Toast, Easty, Ranger Rick, 3^rd Degree, Zyckmann, Dreamboat, ….it was a huge turn out for this early in the season.

There were also some virgin Minions in the mix! Two riders both named Scott made for some confusion but were known on the ride as Scott the Older and Scott the Younger until nicknames could be determined. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Scott's!

The gathering of the Klan!

Riders began pouring into the start! Even Dot-Dot-Dash and Wishbone were back in the mix!

Gazelle Girl made an early entry to a shout of “Gazelle Girl,” sans the Other Guy or any other riders!

Hossman pulled in wearing shorts! As he dismounted he shouted, through clenched teeth, “It's cold out here!”

Sharkman shouted out to Easty to “hustle up,” as he prepared his steed, even though there was some time, so that a group photo could be taken.

After getting the group photo and still having 3 minutes left till start time, Sharkman turned and saw 4 more riders pulling in, led by the legendary Bissell Boy along with his daughters fiance, Joe. Another virgin Minion! Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Joe to be named later!

Virgin Minion "Scott the Younger!"
Rumor has it he is the State Junior
Road Racing Champion!?!

A second group photo was taken and Sharkman cautioned the Nation that Dr. Dave had informed him the previous evening that there would be a soccer match at the Galesburg High School and traffic might be an issue for the finishing sprint. Sharkman also informed the Nation that they were still in Spring Training and sprints would not be reported. Well, accept for any that were won by the Sharkman......

Virgin Minion "Scott the Older!"
Welcome new Minions!

At the start, 24 riders were in attendance and it is too much of a stretch for Sharkman to remember all who were there! Therefore the editors apologize if any Minion who attended did not get there name in this publication. Remember, you can get your name in the publication by either leading our intrepid hero out on a sprint or buying him koffee......

As the Nation rode past the Klutch, Nikeboy, who had to get back home, broke off and the Nation dropped back down to 23 riders.

Hossman and B-Rod went to the front to pull our intrepid hero to the honorary first sprint. It could not be determined if Hossman was pulling so hard in an effort to work up a sweat to warm those legs, OR if he wanted to be mentioned in Belo News, but he made it on both accounts. As the sprint drew near, B-Rod took over and led our hero to the tape for his second sprint of the year.

B-Rod showing off his new Cannondale!

As the Nation crossed over G, the Great Dane arrived. Apparently he had forgot his helmet and had to head back to get it and the ride was back at 24!

The Nation rode merrily along through the cul de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church, into Kellogg Korner and on through the the Kountry Klub section of the ride. For the most part, the Nation broke into different groupings, talking and 



enjoying the chatter and the sunny but cool morning.

Sasquatch and his new BMC!

At the top of the cul de Norte, Sharkman had to caution some of the rides about jumping ahead, but the group came back together quickly making its way through the Holy Rollers, and on to the Feed Stop. As the riders started back up, they were led by 3^rd Degree and Scott the Younger, both of whom abruptly missed the turn and had to double back to catch back on.

When the Nation got to the Digital Divide, for the first time in memory, there were no cars to stop the crossing and the lemmings began to follow those who quickly jumped across. Sharkman did a quick count and felt that a few riders were missing and told Mad Dog he would hold back to wait.

Sure enough, some more riders came up quickly, so no Minions were left behind! 

YES!

At the GGG Spot Sprint, Sharkman and his group latched back on with the leaders as they headed to the final sprint.

Stud Muffin, Hossman, sans shorts!
"Damn it's cold!"

Since Sharkman was not reporting on the sprint, he felt no need to push, but he did get near the front and saw that the traffic at the finish, due to the High School Soccer match, would be no problem.

The problem would come later at the Klutch!Sharkman did notice that many of the riders were crossing over Rt. 89 early and again we would like to remind the Nation that it is important to watch for cars from behind, go to the intersection turn lane and make a legal turn, not a short cut turn, and to obey traffic laws! Nothing is worse that cutting over to the left lane to make a left turn, as a car is attempting to turn right!

It is all about safety!

Nuff said!

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg were huge, waving to their hero's as they zipped up their team jersey's and headed to the Klutch.

As Sharkman made his way to the front, much to his joy, the Skipper pulled up along side him to ride in and buy him koffee! That made the ride count 25!

Yes! The Skipper rules! Thanks Skipper, you made the headlines! This is a great country!

Dr. Dave may have warned of traffic, but there was no warning for the mass of soccer players and parents at the Klutch! The line was outside the door and the noise level was amazing. Many of the Minions decided not to stay and fortunately for the Sharkman and a few Minions the early morning group had saved the a table for them near the window!

The mass of humanity at the Klutch!

Meanwhile, Rainman had already peeled off and Mad Dog informed Sharkman he, too, had to be home by noon, so both the young Minions left Sharkman to fend for himself on the way home! Oh, the humanity! He was counting on them to drag his sorry dorsal back to the Cove in the 10-15 mph east winds! But never fear, our hero, fighting the construction and headwind, made it home before it got dark!

You won't want to miss this Saturday's ride! It will be our hero's last ride for 2 months, so hopefully you can be there!

Saturday, April 30, 2016

It looks like it will be dry, but still cool, so we will keep the start time at 9:00 a.m.

Launch Time – 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

STYKER GUY NEW COVER GIRL?

Cover Girl, Stryker Guy!

Belo News

April 25, 2016

Richland, Mi. - The mighty Minion Nation has a new “Cover Girl” and it ain't Gazelle Girl....damn!

No, it is our own Stryker Guy who made the cover of Southwest Spark Magazine! Is this a great country or what?!?

Not only that, but he is sporting his mighty Minion Nation jersey in the photo! Oh, the humanity!

Making the Nation proud by sporting the jersey and “looking good,” he even mentioned the Nation, and our intrepid hero, in the write up. However, he was quoted as stating that the ride was “a group of senior riders,” and we will have to ask a few of our younger riders about that, but the Editors are sure he used that term to scare away a mass of riders to the already bulging ranks of the Nation! Nicely played Stryker Guy, nicely played......

The article discusses Styker Guys upcoming trip across the Nation on his bike! You go Stryker Guy!

Pick one up at local sports/fitness stores in Kalamazoo. Maybe Stryker Guy will autograph a cop for you!

Congratulations Styker Guy! You made the Nation Proud!

SHARKMAN TICKETED FOR BEING OUT OF TUNE!

Bad Boy Sharkman getting cited!

Belo News

Richland, Mi. - During a recent Banjovi rehearsal at the home of the Great Dane, our own intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was ticketed by Richland's finest for playing his ukulele out of tune! What the....?

Yes, while practicing in the Great Danes garage, a local Officer stopped by to listen to the great Banjovi music but immediately had to cite Sharkman for being out of tune.

Both Wildman and the Great Dane had warned the diminutive ukulele prodigy, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, Sharkman was quoted as stating “I always wanted to get in trouble while playing in a garage band! I'm bad!”

Luckily, it was only a warning and after the Office listen to a couple of songs he was back off to fight crime and/or evil in Great Dane's neighborhood!

Remember, Banjovi will be playing the Klutch on Friday, May 27, 2016, the Friday night of Memorial Day! Any Minion who is a Minion will want to be there!

WINDY TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE!!!

Belo News

April 26, 2016

Battle Creek, Mi. - It was a typical early Spring Tuesday Night ride, with winds out of the east at around 15 mph! Only three intrepid riders made the call. Sharkman, Mad Dog and Rainman headed out with the tail wind and was making great time until they got to M-86 and began to head back into the wind! Both Mad Dog and Rainman put in humongous pulls, will Sharkman took more short pulls. Despite the early season, only three riders and the wind, the three Minions held an average of 18.9 mph.

After the ride, Gazelle Girl, Toesetter, Stingray and Lava Girl joined the group for dinner and beer at Arcadia! Is this a great country or what! A good time was had by all!

If you are interested in a good, pace line ride, come on out on Tuesday nights at 5:30 p.m! The ride meets in the parking lot behind Arcadia.

Be there!

BARRY-ROUBAIX PHOTOS!

Belo News

April 23, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - Only one rider sent in a Barry-Roubaix photo and so we publish this shot of Dreamboat, his girlfriend and his new dog! He had a great race and remember, if you want it in Belo News, send it in!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

MINIONS SNOWED OUT!

SHARKMAN, A WEATHER FORECASTING WIZARD!

Sharkman! Able to forecast weather, days in advance,
 able to ride in wind, rain and snow,
 able to jump over a very small cocktail table.......

WHO KNEW?

MAD DOG FILES PROTEST! STILL MISSING!

SQUEAKY WAS READY TO RIDE!

TUESDAY NIGHT SOFT OPENING!

Belo News

April 9, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - As the weeks ride approached, the Sharkman was pouring over weather charts, forecasts and computer models in an attempt to figure out if the Nation should or shouldn't launch for the April 9 ride. This is an issue that our intrepid hero is always concerned about as he knows how unhappy some Minions will be if the ride is cancelled. However, the old Shark also worries about his Nation riding in weather that might be dangerous.

Earlier in the week our hero had ridden the Barry-Roubaix course with his wing man, Yeti Boy, to help him train for the big event and immediatly contracted a pretty bad cold, knocking both he and Lava Girl down for a couple of days.

None the less, as the week progressed the forecast looked worse and worse. On Friday afternoon all of the computer models that Sharkman was reviewing seemed to indicate that it would not only be cold, but there was a good chance the roads would be covered with snow, making it dangerous to ride! 

Was Sharkman letting his cold prejudice the call?

With all of this hanging over our hero's head, he took the HEROIC stand to cancel the ride. This is never an easy decision and usually if made, the next day tends to be sunny with warm temps. 

 However, not this time!

Immediately after sending out the email and updating the blog, a protest was filed by Mad Dog accusing our hero of wimping out and stating he would ride none the less, win every sprint, and consider it an “Official” KK-TdG for his attendance record in his weak attempt to beat out Gazelle Girl for the same category.

The Commissioner of Cycling immediately countered with a very sternly worded email informing Mad Dog that if he did, in fact, ride, it would not be an “Offical” KK-TdG, and would not be part of the attendance record.

Belo News also heard from Squeaky, stating he had been ready to ride, along with a photo of his new winter weather gear! This guy knows how to style! Unfortunately, he forwarded the photo in a format that could not be put into the blog. Needless to say, it was classic Squeaky!

View from the Shark Cove bedroom
at 8:00 a.m. when our hero
would have launched!

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero pulled the shark covers over his head and slept all the way until 8:00 a.m., which would have been launch time from the Cove for the ride over to the start. The old shark pulled back the shade and saw approximately 3 inches of snow on the street! Whoa!

At 9:00 a.m. he took a photo from the Shark Cove Driveway to depict what he would have faced at ride launch time.

Sharkman immediately sent an email to Mad Dog to make sure he didn't ride. Sadly, it was never returned, thus indicating he did try to ride and has not been heard from again........Please, all Minions, check the side of the road for Mad Dog this week......

Turns out our intrepid hero, in addition to being a world class cyclist (at least in his mind) is also a fantastic weather forecaster!?!

Who knew!

View from the Shark Garage at 9:00a.m.
With a temp of 23 dgrees!

This Saturday is supposed to be beautiful, however our intrepid hero will be out in Santa Fe visiting Sharklet's and will not be there!

But the ride goes on!

This Saturday, April 16, 2016

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Also, Belo News will go out a bit late next week, as the Editors of Belo News will be out west covering the exploits of the Sharkman as he rides with his son in law! But there will be a ride and stay tuned for launch time!

Also, good luck to all the Minions racing up at Barry-Roubaix on Saturday! You will be missed on the KK-TdG, but go out and make the Nation proud!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE SOFT OPENING!

Belo News

April 12, 2016

Battle Creek, Mi. - Rainman started the Tuesday Night Ride with a “Soft Opening” this week that found three of the Nation riding from behind the K2 Building in Battle Creek. Here is the report taken from an email from Rainman;

The ride was fun! Very conversational. We were chatting most of the ride except when we were forced to ride single file. Mad Dog, Stingray, and me were the only Minions that toed-the-line. Pace was extremely civil into a swirling wind around 10-ish mph - I even stopped to P once (no I didn’t P into the swirling wind). We averaged 17.5.

One thing to note, however, is that M96 is in really rough shape. Mostly ok when you get past the High School, but as you approach Augusta, it gets really bad in spots. In fact, there’s one spot where the shoulder disappears for a bike length (due to pot holes and cracks). Caution should be used until the road crews get out to start patching it up. If there is major road work to be completed, I have an alternate route in mind.

Let’s try to do it again next week!

Launch time – 5:30 p.m. From behind the K2 building (the parking lot behind Arcadia).

Be there!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

RIDE CANCELLED!

Belo News
April 8, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - Due to the unusually cold, damp weather, the forecast of a 12 degree wind chill at launch time tomorrow, the fact that several Minions have stated they were not riding due to said weather, that many Minions are still on Spring Break, and that our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, is nursing a cold, the KK-TdG for tomorrow has been cancelled!

Sorry Mad Dog, no ride!

SUN, WIND, RAIN, SNOW!

OPENING DAY HAD IT ALL!!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Sharkman's attempt at a selfie cuts Yeti Boy off.
But that is his red arm!

PRE-RIDE ESPRESSO?

SHARKMAN SAYS, "THANKS!"

Belo News

April 2, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - Anticipation had been building for weeks around the number one event in cycling. Yes, Opening Day was bearing down like a Spring snow storm and everyone was talking about it!

Gazelle Girl and Yeti Boy sucking up
the sun before the start.

However, the old Shark did have some concerns that with both the weather prediction AND the fact it was Spring Break, our hero wondered if there would be much of a crowd for the big day.

Emails started to come into the Shark Cove early. Mad Dog began hounding our intrepid hero about about not being a woos and riding to the start. The forecast was for temps around 30 degrees, but Sharkman, who was having a pretty good Spring, decided to go for it and told Mad Dog he would be riding over! However, just in case, he had Lava Girl on call to pick him up for the price of a Bottomless, in the event he struggle so early in the season. Sharkman always likes a back up plan!

As dawn broke cold and bright over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero was giddy with the thought of Opening Day! As he bound from the Shark Bed, in his Shark pajamas, he threw back the drapes to see that the sun was shining, though it did look cold. At least the ride would be dry. 

Skittles was back and ready to rock!

Rambling through his wide haberdashery of cycling attire, the Shark pulled out the appropriate gear, along with his winter booties, gloves and hat. The old Shark was chopping at the bit to get back in the saddle.

Promptly at 8:00 a.m., Mad Dog appeared at the Cove and after a few adjustments to their gear they began the first ride to the start for the season! Mad Dog had already been out riding for over an hour when he had arrived at the Cove and reported very strong west winds. Strong was an understatement....but the wind didn't matter! Though Sharkman noted a temperature of 28 degrees, the sun was shining and it was Opening Day!

Squeaky was "Styling" in his winter gear!
Please not the two different gloves!

As the two riders descended into Galesburg, and as the wind let up a bit, Mad Dog mentioned that he was stopping at the Klutch to use the bathroom. Sharkman stated that he would go ahead to the start as he feared if he stopped and got warm he may not go out again.

Bathroom? Really?

Subsequent investigative efforts have since revealed the real reason that Mad Dog stopped at the Klutch! Apparently he was in need of an expresso fix to give him the boost he would need to do the ride. Further investigation will be conducted to determine if any drug rules were broken by Mad Dog for boosting caffeine blood levels and for not inviting Sharkman in for a fix.

As Sharkman approached the start, much to his surprise, Gazelle Girl was there. As the Nation knows, she likes late arrivals so that she can make a grand entrance. However, due to the wind, Sharkman was a bit later getting to the start. Along with Gazelle Girl, Yeti Boy was in attendance having just returned from a month in Mexico for high altitude training in preparation for Barry-Roubaix. Reb surprised everyone by showing up when it was thought he was on his way south for Spring Break. However, his dog had gotten sick, delaying his trip by a day but allowing him to ride!

The ole Shark was pretty excited to see the sunshine!

Skittles was also in attendance and was really ready to ride and Squeaky rode in, in his “cold weather” gear and coughing and hacking with one monster cold. True to his “styling ways” the sartorial splendor from last year had not been lost and he was again wearing two different gloves, a muffler, stocking cap and had a second muffler mounted on his aero bars “just in case.” Squeaky, also known as the Style Guy, wanted to make sure that one hand did not know what the other hand was doing!

Sharkman tried to move Reb along for the Opening Day Photo, which they were worried Mad Dog would miss (at that time no one knew he was sucking down an espresso), but he was seen riding up so the Nation waited for him to get into the photo. Sharkman, looking into the sun as he shot the photo, managed to cut off his wing man in the picture, Yeti Boy and maybe others, but after the photos, a few words from President Obama, the glow of camera flashes dimmed and the Nation was off for the first ride of the season.

As the trained pulled out of the station, Ironman rode up, making it 9 riders at the start.

As the peloton went by the Klutch, the early morning group was no where to be found, but it was noted that the Klutch was open!

Sharkman had informed the Nation that there were no sprint results reported until May, but the old Shark did take the first, honorary Sharkman Sprint and then every sprint the rest of the day! (Yeah, right....)

The wind continued to blow hard out of the East, but for the most part did not slow the peloton as they moved up through the col de Twin Lakes, the col de No Name, the Northville church, Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub section (man, it feels good to hear those names again!). 

Skittles, being the young stud that he is, did a lot of pulling at the front, taking the speed up to a respectable level for this early in the season. As the Nation approached the Rt. 43 stop, the Zychmann, or Fabio to some, pulled up to make it 10 riders!

Squeaky, who was battling not only the wind, but a bad cold, had stated that the Nation should not wait for him and when he did not pull up at the Rt. 43 Stop, the Nation moved ahead.

Up the col de Norte, down to the Holy Rollers, the Nation seemed to be enjoying the sun and camaraderie of the peloton, not concerned about the cold or wind.

As they pulled up to the Frona's (Queens Grille) stop, Squeaky was back on, taking the southern route around the lake but again stating that the peloton should not wait.

After the Digital Divide, Skittles and Sharkman went to the front to start the traditional pace line in this section. Skittles took the speed up as Sharkman tried to hold on. With the wind off the front, and with the sun still shining, Sharkman looked back and noticed that no one had joined on! Sharkman and Skittles slowed up for a bit, but decided to go ahead to take photographs of the GGG Spot Sprint. However, Skittles kicked it up and Sharkman could not hang on. Eventually others finally caught up but Skittles was there to take photos, but for whatever reason, none were saved to his phone!?! What the.....?

Sharkman, who left his legs on the Digital Divide Section, took up the rear as the big guys battled the finishing sprint and the mighty Minion Nation bore down on the finish like a runaway red wagon!

Amazingly, the Champs le Galesburg was loaded with tofosi and paparazzi, screaming for their hero's as they made their way to the Koffee Klutch. The sun was shining and all was well with the world as the riders pulled up to the Klutch and got out of the wind.

Sharkman immediately called Lava Girl to let her know he was going to ride home, excited about the 25 mph tailwind he and Mad Dog would have for the return trip.

However, as the Minions chugged down their bottomless kups, the dark clouds began to drift in with the strong winds and Sharkman told Mad Dog that they better head out.

As the two riders crested the hill at the Eaton Plant it began to snow. With the wind blowing them along, the snow began to pick up. When they were about 7-8 miles out from the Shark Cove, the snow turned into a mini-blizzard as the

Sharkman back at the Cove with snow
on his helmet and blowing
around him! Is this a great
Country or what?!?

hearty riders continued on to get home, only glad it wasn't rain.

What a great Opening Day!

You won't want to miss this Saturday's ride!

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

SHARKMAN SAYS THANKS!

Belo News

April 2, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - Our intrepid hero was humbled by the outpouring of well wishes from his beloved Nation after his health announcement last week. Though he loves his mighty Minion Nation and each and every Minion, he was overwhelmed with the calls, emails and offers of thoughts and prayers and wants all to know how grateful he is to have the mighty Minion Nation on his side! Thanks to all!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.