 |
| Sharkman photo bombs his own photo! |
MSU
CREATES WIN WITH LATE GAME EFFORT!
SQUEAKY
MAKES MAJOR UPGRADE!
POLAR BEAR IN MAJOR ATTEMPT TO MAKE START LINE!
NO
CRASHES THIS WEEK!
SHARK
MINION JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
NEW
LAUNCH TIME! 8:30 A.M. - SHARP!
BANJOVI
IN CONCERT!?!
MINIONS ROCK DANCES WITH DIRT!
Belo
News
September
26, 2015
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and cool over the Shark Cove, our
intrepid hero was excited to get started on the day. As the season
grows shorter and light is at a premium, the Sharkman starts to
lament the end of another glorious season with his beloved Nation.
Yes, only a few precious weeks left to enjoy and this was to be a
morning not soon forgotten and one he wanted to savior in the
camaraderie of his Minions!
 |
| The New Squeaky with his new, updated ride! |
Sharkman
quickly got his steed ready by getting his front light mounted and
insuring his helmet light was functioning just as he saw Mad Dog
approach on the dark street with his light shining before his bike,
leaving an eerie design crossing the road in the dark.
Knowing
the Rainman was out due to his crash and that the temps were getting
in the questionable zone for Nikeboy, the two riders knew they would
be soloing to the start on this beautiful morning.
 |
| Squeaky's groupo was so shiney new it caused reflection problems! |
The
Nation has, for the most part, been blessed with a great cycling
season of good weather. Though a bit cooler than most summers, it
has provided for fantastic cycling across the Field of Dreams the
Nation calls, the KK-TdG. Saturday was no exception as the dawn
broke warm and bright on the backs of the two as they made their way
to the start, lights flashing at the few cars they encountered.
As
they pulled in at the start, they noticed several riders were already
on site getting ready. B-Rod, in his Purdue kit and Easty in his
Western Michigan jersey. With similar colors making it hard to know
if there were two Purdue jersey's or two Western Michigan jersey's,
the two readied there steeds next to each other looking like team
mates.
 |
| Hi State? What the.....? |
Tan
Man was back getting his Moot's ready for the ride just as Squeaky
rode silently on to the scene.
Wait....what?
Silently?
That's
right, Bunkie.....SILENTLY! Oh, the humanity!
Wearing
some of his stylish winter wear (thick stocking cap and winter
gloves), along with an MSU jersey, the Style Guy was sporting, what
looked like, a completely new “groupo” on his steed! Whoa, is
this a great country or what! Stating that he had decided that the
Nation was correct (and also concerned he may be banned from the
Nation due to the danger of a very unsafe bike) the Squeakmiester had
upgraded his ride and the rear cassette was so clean the reflection
was blinding in the bright fall sunlight! New derailleurs, new
cassette and chain, new brakes.....whoa!
He
also found a “valve reflector light” at a garage sale and rode
around the start asking everyone if it was working.....sorry
Squeak....it was not.......
“How
will we know where Squeaky is in the peloton?” was the collective
thought shared by the Nation as they marvelled at what looked like a
new bike, completely now operative thanks to Doug at Alfred E. Bike!
Wow,
the harassment had worked and now the Nation may need to come up
with another name.....
NOT.....Squeaky
will always be Squeaky, though a quieter, more noise gentle
Squeaky......
 |
| Easty gathering evidence on the Hi State Jersey incident. |
Greyhound
was also in attendance and sporting a new College Jersey for the
Nations enjoyment. Having a daughter at Northern Michigan
University, he had just received it and was excited to wear it. Like
most Minion parents, it is great to spend thousands of dollars on an
education to get the opportunity to spend even more money on a
cycling jersey promoting said institution! Is this a great country or
what!?! Sharkman immediately awarded Greyhound the “Best New
College Jersey” award!
 |
| Greyhound in his new NMU Jersey. Next time we'll get you with your eyes open! |
Sharkman
then shared that he had spent thousands on his daughters education
attending Indiana University but did get a nice T shirt that said
“Indiana” on it.....
Gazelle
Girl rode in to shouts of “Gazelle Girl” just in time to greet
Dreamboat who came rolling in by car with what the Sweetheart of the
Peloton called “Bed Head.” (see photo) He was a bit reluctant
to pose for the paparazzi but he did.......oh,
Dreamboat......Actually, he did look like he had just rolled out of
bed.....
 |
| Bedhead? Oh, Dreamboat....... |
Making
a respectably late but on time appearance was legendary rider and
former coach at OSU, Stryker Guy wearing an unusual College Team kit
that has now become quite kontroversial! It seems that it was either
some form of protest, or a praising of the team he once
coached.....(see protest filed by Easty below). Placing tape over some of the wording, Styker Guys jersey seemed to be for Hi State. MMmmm, what happened? Check out the kontroversey below......
The
riders lined up for the obligatory starting photo and Sharkman,
feeling left out, decided to make it a selfie on this fine morning.
 |
| Toast and B-Rod ready to rock! |
Other
riders at the start were Wildman, Great Dane, Wishbone, Toast, but
others would join later.
 |
| Gazelle Girl rides in with the sun on her back and a smile on her face! |
As
the Nation headed out past the Klutch the Saturday Morning Group gave
a wave as Andrew took the count. As the nation headed north, Ironman
jumped on (without his Prudue jersey that might have given Purdue the
win....he should read the blog!), taking the count up, and B-Rod,
then Easty took our hero out to the first sprint.
This
was a very magical ride on a very beautiful fall morning. Though the
pace could be moderate at times as the Nation talked and shared the
joys of riding on such a fantastic morning, there were also intense
portions of the ride where speeds went up over 30 mph! However, the
ride was not without kontroversy as the attached came across the
Editors Desk at Belo News this week:
 |
| A better look! |
Sharkman:
After observing some of the recent behaviors of fellow minions (OK just one)...I implore the Great Minion Leader to bring some law, order and ultimately JUSTICE to our clan....
A case in point.....see the accompanying photo wherein...
Long time minion Stryker Guy somehow feels it appropriate to even further elevate his already HUBRIS filled Alma mater to even loftier status by proclaiming them HI STATE! (As in highest???). Isn't it enough they are ranked #1???? How much is enough???? Sheer audacity!!!!
IN ADDITION......
There absolutely should be an unsportsmanlike penalty tacked on SG for UNABASHED EGOTISM (pulling the peloton for approximately 22 pedal strokes while we pass your wife out walking)...REALLY????
One has to ask....what is next if we continue to allow these behaviors??
I would suggest this slow creep of "all about me" will lead to total anarchy and eventually some Minions could actually start thinking independently!!!!! Anarchy in the ranks!!!
And just to show what a team player and total suck up I can be...(I don't just whine....I bring solutions)...here are a couple of possible actions your highness could implement to stem this growing menace.
1) S G hosts and funds end of year party.
2) S G ineligible for any end of year awards
3) S G submits to random testing for testosterone levels.
DISCLAIMER....none of this rant is based on the fact that the Buckeyes
buried my Broncos later in the day. Pure coincidence!!!!
Sincerely,
A loyal and humble Minion.
Easty
After observing some of the recent behaviors of fellow minions (OK just one)...I implore the Great Minion Leader to bring some law, order and ultimately JUSTICE to our clan....
A case in point.....see the accompanying photo wherein...
Long time minion Stryker Guy somehow feels it appropriate to even further elevate his already HUBRIS filled Alma mater to even loftier status by proclaiming them HI STATE! (As in highest???). Isn't it enough they are ranked #1???? How much is enough???? Sheer audacity!!!!
IN ADDITION......
There absolutely should be an unsportsmanlike penalty tacked on SG for UNABASHED EGOTISM (pulling the peloton for approximately 22 pedal strokes while we pass your wife out walking)...REALLY????
One has to ask....what is next if we continue to allow these behaviors??
I would suggest this slow creep of "all about me" will lead to total anarchy and eventually some Minions could actually start thinking independently!!!!! Anarchy in the ranks!!!
And just to show what a team player and total suck up I can be...(I don't just whine....I bring solutions)...here are a couple of possible actions your highness could implement to stem this growing menace.
1) S G hosts and funds end of year party.
2) S G ineligible for any end of year awards
3) S G submits to random testing for testosterone levels.
DISCLAIMER....none of this rant is based on the fact that the Buckeyes
buried my Broncos later in the day. Pure coincidence!!!!
Sincerely,
A loyal and humble Minion.
Easty
Not
only was this somewhat kontroversial to the Nation, after the Nation
finished the ride and were enjoying their koffee, Sharkman received a
text from the errant Polar Bear, the subject of a scathing write up
in last weeks edition of Belo News on his potential to have become
“Americanized.”
Sharkman:
 |
| Polar Bear stranded on the side of the road Saturday. Even had his Univerity of Polar Bear Jersey on..... |
So,
having endured a public humiliation the plucky Brit aka Polar Bear
attempted to join the mighty Minion Nation this morning. However,
halfway on the ride over he suffered a flat. No big deal, he
thought. Without panic he replaces the tube, only for it to go
instantly flat. No Big deal, a minion knows to carry more than one
spare tube. Except to find this also had a hole in it!! So at this
point he's walking or calling Momma Bear for a ride home. Thankfully
she rushed to aid her stricken husband. So now I'm back home
drinking tea (tea? Uh?) A lesson has been learned however. I didn't
have the spare tubes wrapped in anything and the holes look like they
are from chaffing inside the saddle bag. So it might be work the
mighty Sharkman informing his Nation to take better care of their
spares! Sorry I couldn't join you, hopefully see you Monday!
Polar
Bear
Later
in the day, the News Desk received the following from Momma Bear,
confirming the above:
Dear
Sharkman,
Polar
Bear was so excited he would be able to make the Saturday morning
ride with the Minions, he's been a Busy Bear this summer.
The Lycra was out, bike cleaned a huge carb dinner and early to bed. Alarm clock went off, the sound of the small elephant going through the house getting ready for the ride was heard.
The Lycra was out, bike cleaned a huge carb dinner and early to bed. Alarm clock went off, the sound of the small elephant going through the house getting ready for the ride was heard.
Clickity
click of his pedals and off he went in the dark to meet the
Minions.
I thought great a snooze and I'd be off to the gym later. Next the phone rings and I knew we had a problem 'sorry to wake you but I I've got 3 blown inner tubes and you will need to come and get me'. It was a quick get dressed, hoping that I didn't get stopped by the Police this morning with no make up and hair everywhere and off to pick him up.
In sure the explorer will be back with the Minions soon, the lesson is you can't carry enough inner tubes :)
Kind Regards,
I thought great a snooze and I'd be off to the gym later. Next the phone rings and I knew we had a problem 'sorry to wake you but I I've got 3 blown inner tubes and you will need to come and get me'. It was a quick get dressed, hoping that I didn't get stopped by the Police this morning with no make up and hair everywhere and off to pick him up.
In sure the explorer will be back with the Minions soon, the lesson is you can't carry enough inner tubes :)
Kind Regards,
Momma
Bear
Oh,
the humanity!
As
the Nation pulled past Frona's, none other than Nikeboy jumped on,
sans his Michigan kit. However, he was wearing a very stylish blue
jersey and matching shorts, along with his now, signature orange
shoes, and looking good!
And
even more kontroversey! (Belo News is amazed there were no protests
filed on this, but MSU didn't get a chance to kick WMU's butt on
Saturday afternoon).
As
the Nation bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint, EVERYONE was pulling
Gazelle Girl to the front! Ironman, Mad Dog and B-Rod had her
surrounded to make sure she got the win. The Sweetheart of the
peloton looked like the Pope with his security entourage surrounding
him as she moved towards the sprint faster than she liked!
 |
| Bissell Boy wins it for MSU! Belo News needs to work on eye open photos...... |
A
cheer went up as she crossed the line in first, but then the Nation
saw a rider ahead of her!
Wait....what?
How could that be?
Joining
in on the ride late, was long lost Bissell Boy! Not only had he shown
up, but he was sporting an MSU Jersey, giving MSU the victory on the
day! Are they having a great season or what?!?
Bissell
Boy had not contested the sprint but had just happened on the Nation
at the GGG Spot Sprint and Gazelle Girl retained the victory!
The
Nation headed south to the finish where Tan Man took the honors with
Ironman and B-Rod filling out the podium.
The
riders headed down the sun filled Champs le Galesburg to the cheers
of the tofosi and paparazzi!
At
the Klutch, Greyhound ran to the front of the line and bought koffee
for the Nation!
 |
| Greyhound buys the Koffee! |
Thanks
Greyhound!
The
crowd was enjoying the Klutch ambiance and actually stayed a bit
longer than normal as Andrew kept the koffee coming. Sharkman stayed
a bit longer to talk to some of his fans of Banjovi (see following
story) and being asked when the band would return.
The
tailwind that was enjoyed on the way to the start was now in the face
of Mad Dog, Nikeboy and Sharkman as they headed home. When they got
to Watkins in the Creek, and as was texted to Sharkman from Reb at
the Klutch, the road was closed for resurfacing and the three riders
had to add about 2 more miles to the ride. But it wasn't even
noticed as the day was gorgeous and the company great!
 |
| Easty, Bissell Boy and Stryker Guy talk football. |
You
won't want to miss the last road ride of the year this Saturday!
Shark
Minion Jersey Day this Saturday!
New
Launch Time – New Launch Time – New Launch Time!
Launch
Time – 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
Be
There!
IN OTHER
NEWS!
Belo
News
September
24, 2015
BANJOVI
ROCKS THE KLUTCH!
 |
| design by Gazelle Girl! Guess she'll get a letter too..... |
Galesburg,
Mi. - Thursday at the Klutch is “Open Mic” night were
local musicians and singers are able to play and share their skills.
As previously mentioned, Wildman, Great Dane and our intrepid hero,
the Sharkman, have formed a
band called Banjovi! At least they are
called themselves that until they get a letter from an Attorney telling them the
name is protected!
 |
| Andrew intoduces Sharkman and Banjovi! |
The trio
was introduced by Andrew himself to the cheering crowd as Sharkman bantered with
them about his song writing skills!
The band led off with Wildman singing Wagon Wheel, followed by Sharkman belting out the theme from The Beverly Hillbillies, then they did Elton John's Rocket Man, followed by that bluegrass classic, Foggy Mountain Breakdown where Great Dane showed his banjo prowess with some devastating licks that had the woman going crazy! How can a woman not fall in love with a banjo player!
The band led off with Wildman singing Wagon Wheel, followed by Sharkman belting out the theme from The Beverly Hillbillies, then they did Elton John's Rocket Man, followed by that bluegrass classic, Foggy Mountain Breakdown where Great Dane showed his banjo prowess with some devastating licks that had the woman going crazy! How can a woman not fall in love with a banjo player!
 |
| Wildman, Sharkman and Great Dane rock the house! |
The
crowd went wild and asked for an encore, so Banjovi played I'll Fly
Away and most, if not all of the audience joined in and sounded
great!
Lava
Girl, Gwen (Wildman's wife), one of Wildman's daughters, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter were in
attendance and helped rock the Klutch!
The band
was feeling so good, they headed over to Time Out (the bar on the
river) for a celebratory beverage of choice with Gazelle Girl buying
the first round!
The
partying continued as Andrew came in after the Klutch klosed and
joined in the festivities. Who knew he hung out at Time Out?
It was a
great evening and Banjovi is planning a return visit to the Klutch on
Thursday Night, October 8 for another shot at stardom (or a lawsuit
for using that name....as well as Sharkman's insistence he has
written every song the band performs.).
 |
| Come on out and join the fun! |
Come on
out to the Klutch on Thursday nights for the music and come see
Banjovi on October 8!
(unless
you are an attorney). The fun starts at 6:30 p.m. and goes till 9:30 p.m.
Monday
Mountain Bike Ride – It
was a gorgeous day on Monday for the Fort ride and the turn out was
much better. However, the rides leader, Reb, texted the group to say
that he got held up in Battle Creek and to start without him. In
attendance was Gazelle Girl, Zyckmann, Polar Bear and Sharkman.
The
group did the Blue and Red trails, then, after dropping off Gazelle
Girl at the trail head because her seat post would not stay tight on
the saddle, they rest did an abbreviated route of the trenches, the
start of the Green and then the Crazy Beaver to the finish. It was a
great ride and these rides will continue through October, weather
permitting.
This
ride launches at 2 p.m each Monday from the Ft. Custer Trail Head.
If you are retired or can get away from work, come on out and enjoy
this fall weather with a ride through the best mountain biking
terrain around!
Tuesday
Night Chain Gang – Konfusion
rained on the Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride as Ride Leader, Rainman
neglected to copy Sharkman on the new launch time and the fact
everyone was going to Arcadia after the ride to celebrate the final
ride of the season.
Rainman
had survived his crash from the previous week and would be riding his
cross bike as his road bike was in the shop for repair and
inspection.
Sharkman
had been playing golf all day and after returning home got a text
from Wildman asking about launch time. 5:30 p.m. Stated the Shark.
Then a text from Yeti Boy that he would be riding and questioned what
time Sharkman would ride by to pick him up. Sharkman immediately
texted Rainman and learned that time had been moved up and about
dinner after! Oh, the humanity.....he had to hustle! He immediately
texted Wildman and also texted Rainman that some might be late.
Hossman,
Stingray, Wildman, Hoosier Boy, Rainman, Yeti Boy and Sharkman all
made it to the start to set off at 5:25 p.m. on a cool and windy
night. All were wearing lights as they headed out and fought the
wind! Average on the night was a healthy 20.9 mph and after the ride
the riders headed to Arcadia to close the season on a high, pizza and
beer infused, note! Is this a great country or what!?!
MINIONS
ROCK DANCES WITH DIRT!
Belo
News
 |
| Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk at Dances with Dirt! |
September
26, 2015
Chelsea,
Mi. - Many in the Nation are aware of the off road running race known
as Dances
with Dirt. This race is a five member relay over trails including
lots of hills, poison ivy, swamps and mud pits. Each runner does
three legs with a total distance of 60 miles or so. Our intrepid
hero, the Sharkman use to run on the Dirt Dog Team years ago before
his feet gave out on him.
This
past weekend, two of the Minion Nation, Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk
who now run for the Dirt Dogs, competed along with Kevin Jennett
Belo
News is proud to report that the Dirt Dogs finished in the top 25
gross and in the top 10 net (after adjusting for age and gender
handicap).
Over
350 teams participated although some were in costume and/or drinking
and not legitimate competition.
Congratulations
to the Dirt Dogs and specifically to Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk!
You did the Nation proud!
