WAIT,
SHARKMAN IN ATTENDANCE?
 |
| The original "Hipster," Sharkman photo courtesy of Reb |
DRAMA
AT THE GGG SPOT SPRINT?!?
TONY
THE TIGER JERSEY DAY!
SHERMANATOR
SATURDAY MEANS SOUTHERN ROUTE TOUR!
THE
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP QUICKLY! GET YOUR RSVP IN NOW!
Belo
News
July
25, 2015
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As Friday afternoon floated around, our intrepid hero
found himself sitting on the back porch of Bread Baking's
International Epicenter, Yeti Boy's house, having a beer with his
wingman, Yeti Boy. Reb was also in attendance and when Sharkman
shared that he hated missing the ride due to his required attendance
for a church function, both Reb and Yeti Boy recommended that the
three ride over to the start and back! Great idea! Sharkman could
get a ride in, see his Nation AND still make the 10:00 a.m. event! Is
this a great country or what?!?
 |
| Reb, Sharkman and Airman at the start! |
After
a few more beers, and a photo-op by his adoring fan (that would be
Reb), our hero texted Rainman and Mad Dog to let them know he was
riding over. Mad Dog stated that he had arranged to leave really
early and meet Airman on the road, while Rainman said he was out.
 |
| Whoa, B-Rod in his WAM kit? |
As
dawn broke bright and warm over the Shark Cove, we found our hero
bustling along to get ready, as Yeti Boy is usually a bit early.
Sure enough, at 6:56 a.m., Yeti Boy rode up the driveway at the Cove
and the two riders were off to meet Reb on the way.
It
was a beautiful summer morning and, for the first time in a while, no
jacket or arm warmers were needed.
After
the three riders arrived at the start, other Minions started piling
in along with some new minions to the Nation. Two riders who had
heard about the ride from legendary Minion, CycoCross,
were The
Italian and Caboose! The Nation loves when they come with their own
cycling names! Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation!
 |
| Virgin Minion "The Italian!" |
Another
rider who claimed to have ridden with the Nation last year after he
had broken his collarbone, was John, Name to be Determined! Welcome
back, Name to be Determined!
Shortly
after Sharkman arrived, Nikeboy appeared looking “stylish” in his
kit once again, stating he had gotten to the Cove just short of
launch time and had ridden over solo!
Sorry
Nikeboy!
 |
| Nikeboy "styling" at the start! |
Other
riders piling in on WAM Jersey Day were Toast, B-Rod (looking wild in
his knee socks and WAM kit), Airman, Mad Dog (who completely missed
Airman on the road), Zychmann, Gazelle Girl, Ironman, Sasquatch and
more. The count was 20 as the Nation pulled out of the station and
rode down towards the Klutch.
Sharkman,
Reb and Yeti Boy said goodbye at the Klutch and headed back to the
Shark Cove via Qman Hill and MN Ave.while the Nation rode on.
 |
| Returning Minion John, name to be determined! |
Sharkman
had requested that Gazelle Girl write something up, but later the
Editors at Belo News received an email from the Sweetheart of the
Peloton that stated,
“Sadly,
I don't have a write up for today. My memory for events when I'm
panting just isn't so good. (It's really not so good any other time,
either.) Maybe someone will come through. I did get the GGG Spot
Sprint, however, with a little help from my friends!”
Gazelle
Girl's comment about “panting,” the GGG Spot Sprint and help from
her friends got the newsroom all a-flutter, but it appeared there was
nothing more to report.
 |
| The Nation gathers for the start! |
However,
in late breaking news, Squeaky - the Nation's sometimes “Style Guy”
- sent an apology to Belo News for the entire Nation, or at least
those in attendance on Saturday, concerning “assistance”
to Gazelle Girl during the sprint.
“Dear
Sharkman,
If
you have not heard yet, I made a bad error in judgment by trying to
help Gazelle Girl to G Ave. by giving her a little push. I could have
caused a big accident by going out of control. It was a bad idea and
I will take the full reprimand of the Sharkman and a 4 week
suspension if required. I won't ever try that again and am sorry and
will apologize to the ride for my action.
Sincerely,
Squeaky”
 |
| The Caboose! Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation! |
Whoa,
what happened! Belo News immediately launched an investigation into
the incident and learned the following:
Apparently
the Nation was steaming toward the GGG Spot Sprint and it appeared
that once again, Gazelle Girl was in the mood to “go for it.”
Zychmann, Airman and Sasquatch decided to give the Sweetheart of the
Peloton a lead out so that she could achieve complete satisfaction in
taking the sprint. As Gazelle Girl described it, Squeaky stated that
“This is how my brother helps!” as he tried to push Gazelle Girl.
However, the movement caused Squeaky to loose control and he
jeopardized several riders as he attempted to regain his balance.
None
the less, Squeaky seemed truly remorseful and has committed to being
a safer rider by not circling in intersections, jumping intersections
early, and maintaining his line when he is in a sprint. It is a good
reminder to all riders! All riders need to remember that in a group,
the slightest movement made without looking can cause major problems.
It is all about being safe on this ride!
Minions
will not want to miss this week's edition when the Nation heads south
once again! Is this a great country or what!?!
It
is Shermanator Weekend, so the Old Shark will be giving his “Tour
of South Central Kalamazoo County!” After all, Easty wants to
collect on his “season pass” for all the sites! Only $.50 cents
a look, no change.......
So
don't forget your change! The invoice system doesn't seem to be
working for the old Shark, so it is back to “Pay as you Go!”
The
Nation will also be riding it in style as it will be Tony the Tiger
Jersey Day! Yes, you heard that right, Bunkie!
Break
out that Tony the Tiger Jersey and bring lots of change for the
Sharkman!
Saturday,
August (can it be August already?) 1, 2015
Launch
Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be
there!
BLOODY
'ELL 'UNDRED AUGUST 15, 2015!
Belo
News
July
28, 2015
Zychmann
Estate, Mi. - Though the Sharkman has been gone a lot this summer, he
will be riding his first ever, Bloody 'Ell 'Undred and is ready to
rock! Oh, the humanity!
But
is the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred, or better known as the BEU, ready for the
Sharkman? Yes it is!
This
annual event will take place on Saturday, August 15, 2015 with a
start time of 9:00 a.m. This is a casual ride, not a race!
It
is important to RSVP for this event! So get your RSVP to Gazelle Girl
NOW!
Joan.o@comcast.net
Be
there!
IN
OTHER NEWS!
Belo
News
July
29, 2015
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| Stroker and Hoosier Boy at Goguac Lake Swim! |
Battle
Creek, Mi. - Belo News would like to apologize for the delay in
getting this next story to the Nation. Though the information was
received a week ago, in time for the last edition, the entire staff
here at Belo News needed serious psychological counseling after
seeing Hoosier Boy without his shirt on. Who knew there could be that
much fir on that guys chest!
However,
we digress. Both Hoosier Boy and Stroker competed in the Goguac Lake
Swim two weeks ago and Stroker brought home the gold in his division!
Way to go Minions, you did the Nation proud!
Now,
Hoosier Boy, get that shirt back on, we're still having nightmares!
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| Easty, KJ and Marco Polo dipping wheels in the Mississippi River! |
Mississippi
River, Iowa – Easty, KJ and Marco Polo finished strong in the
RAGBRAI and they finished in style! Marco Polo is a retired Navy
Commander and imagine his delight when they ran across the U.S. Navy Cycling Team! The
Minions were immediately “welcomed aboard” and rode with the
team. It is reported that the team was VERY fast and that they loved
the “Shark Minion” jerseys!
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| Minions with the U.S. Navy Cycling Team! Is this a great coutnry or what!?! |
Nice
job Minions! You did the Nation proud!
 |
| Great Shark Tatoo! |
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider
involved.
