RECORD
BREAKING TURN OUT FOR SHARK JERSEY DAY!
 |
| Mighty Minion Nation looking good! |
CONTROVERSY
ON THE FINISH?
TAKING
ORDERS FOR MINION JERSEY'S! YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!
TOUR
de TAYLOR RIDE JUNE 13, 2015! REGISTER NOW!
BREWMAN
& STRYKER GUY TAKE ON MT.
MITCHELL!
 |
| Team Taylor joins the Nation with some virgin Minions! |
RED,
WHITE AND BLUE JERSEY'S FOR MEMORIAL DAY!
Belo
News
May
15, 2015
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove with a warm and humid
feel, our intrepid hero was feeling good that it would be mild enough
to wear a short sleeved jersey, which was quite fitting as it was the
first Jersey Day of this young season. Not only was it the first
Jersey Day of the year, but it was Shark Minion Jersey Day! “Is
this a great country or what?” our hero thought as he pulled his
beloved shark jersey over his hairless head. The old Shark checked
the mirror as he walked by and thought to himself, “looking good,
Sharkman!” (Actually, he said it out loud. The man lives in a dream
world!)
 |
| Virgin Minion, Mongoose! |
Though
it was predicted to be warm, there was a large, blue cloud of rain on
the radar just south of his field of dreams, the KK-TdG, but the old
Shark held out hope it would skid to the south and miss the ride
entirely or at a minimum, just spit a little rain. But he did bring
his rain jacket, just in case.
To
his surprise, he noted that Rainman's garage door was open and as he
launched from the Cove, saw the young Minion coming down his driveway
surprised that he would be riding with the “threat of rain.”
Rainman's
explanation was that he could not pass up an opportunity like “Shark
Minion Jersey Day” and he was “looking good in his Shark Jersey.”
Nikeboy
then rode up and said he too was surprised to see Rainman. Nikeboy
commented that he thought there had to be no rain in the forecast for
at least 7 days before Rainman saddled up! Rainman did point out he
was riding his Giant cross bike and wasn't as worried he would have
to clean his Cervelo if it did rain! Always hedging his bets.....
A
bit later, Mad Dog jumped on explaining he was late because he
couldn't get his new puppy to come into the house after doing his
business.
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| Nation gathers at the "Feed Station" while Easty signs some autographs! |
Sharkman
had put on his rain jacket thinking a.) it may rain and b.) it was a
bit cooler than he first thought.
He
quickly realized this was a mistake and tried to unzip the jacket but
could not get the bottom undone. His jacket filled with air and Reb
accused him of trying to mimic Squeaky with an “Airbag Safety
Jacket.”
Sharkman,
being somewhat stubborn, did not want to stop to fix the problem so
rode over with the other 3 riders trying to get behind him as the
jacket was giving off a draft that they would not usually get behind
the diminutive rider.
 |
| Double parking in front of the Klutch! |
Team
Taylor, led by Iceman himself, was in attendance with the usual posse
of Kia Pet, Chains the Bounty Hunter and Nickhead but they had also
brought along some new riders with their own names! Zippy (Brad
Zapalowski), Two Fingers (Rick Tonda) and Tie Dye (Tyson Gilmore)
were in the Team Taylor posse and ready to ride! Welcome to the
mighty Minion Nation, virgin Minions!
Easty
was also in attendance with new Minion with a name already as well!
Mongoose (Mike Louwaert) was in attendance! Welcome to the mighty
Minion Nation!
Always
good to have Minion virgin's in the mix! And even better when they
come with names!
A
number of riders were making their season debut and it was difficult
to get every ones photo!
Belo
News also apologizes if any names have been inadvertently been left
out!
As
those riders with jersey's lined up for a photo, Sharkman counted
approximately 36 riders! Oh, the humanity!
Gazelle
Girl also road in with two “Other Guys!” Toesetter was back, and
Ironman was in tow making his season debut.
Another
notable season debut was Tow Truck, who was claiming he should now be
called Towed Truck though he seemed in mid season form during the
ride!
The
world #1 ranked 60 and over swimmer and Cove neighbor, Stroker was
also making his season debut!
Ranger
Rick was back, but had his regular rode bike instead of his cross
bike this time.
Bissell
Boy, Stryker Guy, Zickman, Boatman, ........
There
were too many Minions to get all the names but suffice it to say,
most of the Heads of State were in attendance!
It
was a sea of Minion Jersey's as the Nation started out and caught the
light at the Klutch. Andrew later reported that the early morning
group gave him a count of approximately 35 riders and told him he
better start brewing more koffee!
As
the ride headed north, Sharkman followed behind Mad Dog and
Sasquatch before they parted like the Red Sea before him, giving him
the lead out to the first sprint. At the first G crossing, Sharkman
counted 36 riders. Shortly after, Kid Doster and then later, Dr.
Dave jumped on taking the number to 38. However, if you count
Nikeboy and Reb, who dropped off at the Klutch to head home, it was
40 riders on Saturday! Whoa!
As
Reb would later say, “40 followers? I know some ministers in town
that would be thrilled with that turn out!”
 |
| Standing room only at the Klutch! |
At
the top of the Col de Twin Lakes, virgin Minion Mongoose made a move
and took his first sprint as a Minion! Actually, later in the ride,
B-Rod tried to solicit Mongoose to lead him out but Mongoose had no
idea were the final sprint ended! That's why you're a virgin,
Mongoose!
The
speed again picked up through Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on
to Rt. 43. Skittles tried to make a “comfort stop” but was rushed
by Sharkman who did not know the young Minion was in the trees trying
to “do his business.”
Sharkman
declared Rt. 43 as a neutral zone because of the bad road the Nation
was very good about riding single file through the very bad patch of
road. This area is now designated as a neutral zone until or if the
road gets repaired. The brought everyone together at the ascent up
the Col de Norte and again, the Nation rode safe through the summit
and on to the Holy Rollers.
As
the group was fairly bunched up in the Holy Rollers there were some
riders who were “forced' towards the yellow line and Sharkman
reminded everyone to stay to the right of the yellow lines.
Remember, if Sharkman sees anyone over the yellow lines, they cannot
contest or win the sprint!
At
Frona's, the Nation pulled over for a photo op and to see if Easty
needed to sign any autographs this week. Unfortunately, Squeaky
performed one of his now famous “rolling stops” and was
reprimanded by Sharkman and AGAIN reminded he had to STOP at all stop
signs and not “roll” through or “circle!” This is dangerous
and causes confusion both for the Nation AND for motorists!
Stop
and stay to the right of the intersection!
At
the Digital Divide, the Nation was able to make the crossing as a
group, which was difficult with the mass of riders, but a single pace
line was not to be. The group broke into smaller pace lines and
headed on to the famous GGG Spot Sprint!
Finally
feeling a bit frisky several weeks into the Mighty Minion Nation ride
season, Gazelle Girl was ready to take on her coveted GGG Spot
Sprint. A good position - plus patience only a woman can have - put
her right where she needed to be to achieve satisfaction. Just as the
Sweetheart of the Peloton made her move, Skittles zoomed by with a
look of determination on his face that looked more determined than
his usual look of determination!
Gazelle
Girl fell in behind the podium star, rapidly realizing that the only
way for her to get there first was to ask for mercy. "I'm right
here!" she panted. "I'm so close. Oh, Skittles! I'm nearly
there!" All of this pleading fell on deaf ears. As soon as
Skittles crossed the finish line ahead of our Sweetheart he realized
she'd been so close. "Oh, no. Did I cut you off?" he asked.
"I was almost there," a dejected Gazelle Girl said. "Ah
jeez," replied Skittles. "I can never figure out where the
G spot is." "Oh, you're not alone, my friend," said
the good natured Gazelle Girl who will pin her hopes for G spot
satisfaction on this week's ride.
On
the the finish!
Sharkman
went to the front as the Nation headed south to the finish, shouting
out, “Remember to hold your lines! - Everyone ride safe! - No
swerving!”
If
the Nation didn't know, our hero is always worried when big crowds
like this one, contest the final sprint en mass.
Sharkman
was soon overtaken by a cast of thousands as the Nation stayed pretty
bunched together for the final descent down the hill to the stop
ahead by the Galesburg High School!
As
the Nation rambled towards the finish like a swarm of locust on a
wheat field, Sharkman could not help but feel proud to see so many
Shark Minion Jersey's riding in unison towards the final goal and
for the honor of the victory!
Sharkman
was well back, in the safety of the peloton, but yet, the entire
Nation seemed as one as they came to the finish. As they bore down,
it was clear that Iceman had taken the tape, but second and third
place were in question, but the general consensus at the Klutch was
that Kid Doster finished second and Mad Dog was third.
It
was a victory for America as the Nations hero's zipped up their
jersey's for the sponsors and headed down the Champs le Galesburg
with the tofosi throwing soft cheeses, bread and wine at the feet of
their hero's!
Andrew
looked a bit worried as the mass of riders descended on the Klutch,
however, because the early morning group had done the count, he was
ready with the fresh brewed joe!
The
Nation packed the house as talk of the huge crowd and concerns for
continued growth of the Nation were discussed over second helpings of
bottomless kups.
You
won't want to miss this weeks edition Memorial Weekend Day Ride of
the KK-TdG!
Memorial
Weekend Ride!
Wear
your Red, White and Blues to show honor to our military hero's!
That's
right, Bunkie, it is Memorial Day Weekend so break out the red, white
& blue kit!
Saturday,
May 23, 2015
Launch
Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be
there!
ORDER
YOUR SHARK MINION JERSEY NOW!
Belo
News
May
20, 2015
Shark
Cove, Mi. - Back by popular demand, orders can now be made for the
famous Shark Minion Jersey! Is this a great country or what?!?
That's
right, for a limited time, you can order additional jersey's. A
sizing chart and order form with pricing have been made a part of the
Shark Minion Update so fill them out as quickly as possible and get
them to Gazelle Girl at joan.o@comcast.net
before May 31, 2015! These jersey's are only ordered once a year, so
get yours now!
No
orders after May 31, 2015!
TOUR
de TAYLOR RIDE JUNE 13, 2015!
Belo
News
May
20, 2015
Mattawan,
Mi. - Man, this ride snuck up on us this year! We apologize for not
getting this information out earlier!
Registration
for the Tour de Taylor is upon us and Minions will need to get their
registration in before May 29, 2015 to get one of those cool Team
Taylor Tech T-shirt, so don't wait.
Once
again this year, the Minion KK-TdG will be suspended so the Nation
can ride with Team Taylor. Team Taylor is a huge part of the Nation
and we would like to encourage the Nation to be a part of this ride!
Last year the Nation fielded a pretty good size group and rode the
100K ride as a team. So get your registration in as soon as possible
and where and when the Nation will meet will be in an upcoming
edition of Belo News!
Register
at: http://www.tourdetaylor.org/
It
is for the kids and families!
Be
there!
BREWMAN
& STRYKER GUY TAKE ON MT. MITCHELL!
 |
| Stryker Guy & Brewman have all the jersey's covered! |
Belo
News
May
17, 2015
Spartansburg,
S.C. - In an “epic” battle against a mountain (and a tire), two
members of the Mighty Minion Nation took on the “Assault of Mt.
Mitchell!” this past weekend. This ride starts in Spartansburg and
ends 103 miles and over 11,000 feet of climbing up Mt. Mitchell. The
highest point east of the Mississippi!
Legends
of the peloton, Brewman and Stryker Guy made the trip down to
Spartansburg, S.C. for the ride. The climb includes 6-9 degree grades
that go on and on and on and on!
 |
| Big group for the Assault on Mt. Mitchell! |
Unfortunately,
the 5th flat on Brewman's wheel ended his day and Stryker
Guy had to make the rest of the ride solo. Brewman knew something was
wrong with his rim and could not ride on.
 |
| Looking good Minions! |
In
a post race interview, the intrepid Brewman stated, “I ended the
day sharing a bottle of wine with wife Linda, sitting in some hot
springs overlooking a beautiful river!”
You go Brewman!
You go Brewman!
Congratulations
to both Minions! You did the Nation proud and thanks for the report!
MONDAY MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDE BACK IN PLAY!
Belo
News
May
18, 2015
Augusta,
Mi. - The Monday Minions Mountain Bike ride was back on this week
after rain cancelled the previous weeks ride. Five riders were in
attendance and as Reb reported, it was “Gazelle Girl and four
mops!”
In
addition to Reb and Gazelle Girl, Hambone was back in the mix after a
long hiatus, Kevin who had joined on two weeks earlier and a new
rider by the name of Andy joined in on the fun.
This
ride will be postponed for Memorial Day next week, but there may be
an impromptu ride so those who've ridden before should watch for an
email if the ride does take place.
Normally,
this ride takes place each Monday at 3:15 p.m. From the Trail Head at
Ft. Custer.
IT
IS WINDY, SO IT MUST BE TIME FOR THE TUESDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG!
Belo
News
May
19, 2015
Battle
Creek, Mi. - The wind was cranking on Tuesday night and that can only
mean it is time for the Minions Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride!
Four
fearsome Minions showed up behind Arcadia to take on 16 mph winds
with gusts to 200 mph!
The
strategy was to ride out to Galesburg at about 15 mph and then back
at 50 mph with a tailwind.
However,
it seemed that the wind was in the Nation's face no matter which
direction they were heading into! Airman, Stingray, Wildman and
Sharkman headed out on time at 5:30 p.m. Into the wind and it never
seemed to let up.
Stingray,
just off his injuries from his mountain bike crash, put in a
humongous pull at the end that got the Nation to a 19.1 mph average
on the evening!
You
won't want to miss next week's edition of either ride!
This
ride launches at 5:30 p.m. from the parking lot behind K2, which
shares the parking lot with Arcadia Brewing in Battle Creek. The ride
goes out to Galesburg and back and some riders join on during the
ride.
This
ride is similar to the old Chain Gang ride that Kellogg Minions were
always late for. So it is set up as a pace line ride. It is a great
work out and the Minions adjust the speed to the riders who are
present.
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider
involved.
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