GAZELLE
GIRL FINE AFTER SURGERY!
GAZELLE
GIRL APPEARS AT KLUTCH!
NATION
GOES WILD!
 |
Gazzell Girl & Sharkman celebrating her
recovery while wearing their
Bissell Kit! |
Belo
News
August
3, 2014
Triple
Nasty Rancho, Mi. - As any Minion who is any Minion was aware, the
“Sweetheart of the Peloton” and legendary Minion, Gazelle Girl,
had to have surgery last week. Though she tended to make light of
it, it was major in that she had no idea going in how serious the
issue was. Several weeks ago GG discovered a "swale" in
her abdomen. A visit to the doctor revealed that she had a rather
sizable ovarian cyst growing in her gut that was about 6.5 inches in
diameter. Additionally, after an ultrasound and an MRI, they were
still uncertain of how serious the operation to extract the
interloper would be. The potential for the cyst being cancerous was
about 50/50 so when she went in for the surgery, Gazelle Girl did not
know how much of her innards she'd lose and if the cyst was cancerous
or benign until she came out of the anesthesia after the operation.
So
Belo News was very pleased to get the following note from Toestter on
Thursday morning after the surgery and thoroughly enjoyed his
“Sharkman format.” (Editors note – the man is a writing genius
and should be writing regularly for Belo News!)
 |
The happy couple with
Debbie Dark Matter.... |
A
NOTE FROM TOESETTER
Dearest
Sharkman,
The Minion
Nation's darling, the Sweetheart of the Peloton, Gazelle Girl, is out
of surgery and recovering at an undisclosed location pending her
"coming out" from the anesthesia. All reports from the
doctor are super positive. The robotic operation was a success and
the cyst appears to be benign. Is this a great country or
what?
Stay tuned for
continuing updates:
- When
Gazelle Girl wakes up, will she remember Toesetter?
- More importantly, will she remember the Nation?
- When will she re-take her G spots? All three of them… we
all know where they are.
- Is
she now endowed with super powers after having her Dark Matter
removed? Will she use them for the good of the
Nation?
I'll keep you
informed of Gazelle Girl's and Debbie's progress as more information
comes to light,
Toesetter
Naturally,
the Nation rejoiced when the news was shared and an outpouring of
well wishes were sent to Gazelle Girl.
She
will be sharing her recovery story with all of the Nation through
Belo News so stay tuned for more from our “Sweetheart of the
Peloton!”
SHARKMAN
LEADS THE NATION SOUTH!
MORE
NEW MINIONS!
 |
The Pirate, Missing Bissell Boy (note shadow),
Sharkman & Wildman impersonating
Bissell Boy! |
SHARKMAN
GONE FOR TWO WEEKS? OH, THE HUMANITY!
Belo
News
August
3, 2014
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the
Sharkman drew the shark bedspread cove off of his warm bed and as his
feet hit the floor his first thought was, “It's Bissell Boy
Impersonator Day!” Yes, our hero is easily excited and knowing how
many of the Nation had Bissell Kits and how many adored the legendary
Bissell Boy, he was ready to rock!
 |
| Smaller than usual turn out for the day! |
It
was another one of those 2014 summer Saturday mornings where our hero
struggled with whether to wear a jacket or arm warmers. These cool
mornings have been great for sleeping, but difficult for determining
what to wear. After deciding to don the arm warmers, our hero opened
the Cove garage door and saw Mad Dog riding up.
The
two headed over to the start, enjoying another beautiful, crisp
Michigan morning.
As
they arrived at the start, they found B-Rod unloading his steed and
sporting his black tube
 |
| Virgin Minion Nikki |
hose, while Brewman circled the start. At
the far end of the parking lot were several virgin Minions pulling
bikes out of their cars. One of them, Sharkman already knew from
Alfred E. Bike. It was none other than virgin Minion, Nikki!
Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Nikki!
Along
with Nikki were virgin Minions Erin and Andy who ride with the
CMS/Styker Team as well as virgin Minion Kristin! Welcome to the
mighty Minion Nation, Erin, Andy and Kristin! Kristin comment that she had just moved here from Indiana 3 weeks ago! Hoosier Girl, perhaps?
Riders
continued to pour in, but sans Bissell Kit! Were all the Minions
with Bissell Kit competing in the Shermanator? Wildman and the
Pirate pulled in with their Bissell Kit but that was it at the start!
Boatman would arrive after the start and miss the “Missing Man
Photo” where a spot was left for the legendary Bissell Boy hizzelf
so that there were four Bissell Kit Jerseys. Oh, the humanity!
Tanman,
Catfish, Sasquatch, Polar Bear, and Mighty Monk were all in
attendance as
 |
| Virgin Minion Kristin (Hoosier Girl?) |
Sharkman welcomed the new Minions and announced that
the Nation would be heading south as this was Shermanator Weekend.
He also announced that despite plea's by the likes of Brewman, that
he would be watching all to see if they were looking at the sites so
that he could charge them accordingly.
As
the Nation headed past the Klutch, Andrew came out to do the count
and the early Saturday group waved their heros on. Boatman joined
on, making the total on the morning 16 riders, which was way down
from the previous few weeks. (A good thing as the group had become
quite large of late. Some would say "too" large!)
Sharkman
and B-Rod led the peloton up Qman Hill as Mad Dog tried to take the
first sprint but was stuffed by a surging Sharkman! At least that is
how Sharkman saw it......
 |
| Virgin Minion Erin! |
As
the Nation glided past such great Central Kalamazoo County sites as
The Waterfall, Cook's Cemetery, The Tiller's Farm, the Elf Door, The
Lousy Railroad Tracks, Indian Lake (which Catfish pointed out wasn't
Indian Lake), Sharkman was racking up the bucks as he shouted out
“$.50 a look, no change!”
As
the Nation passed The Lousy Railroad Tracks and turned to head south,
“Mechanical!” was shouted from the back of the peloton. Sharkman
was with Nikki at the time and suggested that she go back to help
with whatever the problem was, after all, she works in a bike shop.
However, she stated that she was in management and would only be able
to give a cost estimate on repairs!
It
was learned that it was not really a mechanical, but Mighty Monk had
dropped a water bottle! What? “Well....” Sharkman commented, “I
knew it couldn't have been Brewman as he has never dropped a bottle
in his whole life!”
The
pace was quick as the Nation headed back through the thriving
metropolis of Scotts, where Sharkman pointed out the “Historic Post
Office.” When asked why it is historic, our hero stated, “Because
I said it was! $.50 no change!”
 |
Virgin Minion and winner on the day,
Andy! |
The
Nation began to head south when, “Mechanical!” was again heard
from the back of the peloton. B-Rod had pulled over complaining that
the rear of his seat had just “popped” up. Polar Bear was quick
to help as B-Rod stated it must have been the rough roads while
Sharkman stated it was more likely his ample posterior that caused
the bolts to come loose.
As
the Nation got back to the final stretch, JP and his brother jumped
on stating they got to the start late and stopped at the Klutch where
they were told the Nation had headed south. Not being familiar with
the route, they just headed south and came up on the Nation.
The
pace picked up dramatically as the fast moving train headed to the MN
sprint.
 |
| Tanman was on the scene in a sweet jeep! |
As
the Nation gathered up at MN, Sharkman gave a brief safety message
about how fast the finish would be and the need for all to keep their
lines and be mindful of riders around them.
Sharkman
then headed out to try to set a pace, but it wasn't long before he
was overtaken and the Nation rolled down Qman Hill like a herd of
rampaging buffalo! The pace was intense and Sharkman noticed his
computer reading of 40.1 mph for a max speed, while B-Rod's was
showing higher numbers!
The
Nation was bunched together as they rode over I-94 and past the
Galesburg Speedway. The lead was exchanged several times as Polar
Bear, B-Rod, Andy, Sasquatch, Mad Dog, Boatman, a cast of thousands
were at the front (wait, weren't there only 18 Minions
riding?.....Never mind....)
As
the Nation bore down on the final turn, virgin Minion Andy went to
the front with B-Rod on his wheel. Sharkman, in a STUNNING move,
took an inside track on the turn and went by to nab the third spot on
the podium! It was a victory for America! Is this a great country or
what?!?
 |
B-Red was back to sporting his
Tube Hose! |
The
fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as their heros zipped up
their jersey's for their sponsors and waved to the tofosi and
paparazzi!
As
the Nation approached the Klutch, the press was waiting as virgin
Minion Kristin attempted to lean her bike against the door of the
Klutch, making it difficult for riders to get in. Well, she is a
virgin Minion so give her a break!
As
the Nation settled in with their koffee, all were surprised as the
“Sweetheart of the Peloton” walked in, wearing her Bissell Kit
and looking “marvelous....!”
Yes,
Gazelle Girl, toughest woman in the Nation, was up and around after
major surgery! Signing autographs and mugging for photos, the
legendary rider was the center of attention and her adoring fan's
listened in rapped attention as she spoke of her ordeal (see story).
With
Gazelle Girl in the mix, everyone stayed a little later and had a
great time enjoyed their koffee, which Andrew kept full, and
experiencing the Klutch ambience!
 |
| Virgin Minions being introduced to "The Bottomless!" |
Wildman,
deciding he wanted more miles, rode back to the Shark Cove with our
hero and Mad Dog and then back home! Great ride, Wildman!
What
will happen next week? Well come to ride and find out!
Unfortunately,
our intrepid hero, the Sharkman will be gone the next two weeks as he
entertains In-Laws and then goes to Chicago for meetings. Also,
there will be no ride on August 16 as the Nation does the Bloody 'Ell
'Undred!
 |
| The Klutch was rocking! |
This
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Launch
Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be
there!
NATION
ROCKS AT THE SHERMANATOR!
Belo
News
 |
| Hoosier Boy, Stroker & Karen with their "Gold!" |
August
3, 2014
Sherman
Lake, Mi. - The Nation rocked at the Shermanator this weekend as
several of the Minions took part indidually and as a part of the team
event!
Hoosier
Boy grabbed first in the triathlon in his age group with a time of
1:00:53 (age group 55-59).
Nikeboy
and one time Minion, Scott, along with another were the first male
realy team, however they were edged out by a miute by a team with a
female swiimer and runner (damn handicapping). his team won the team
relay event.
.JPG) |
Starsky, Hutch and Hoosier Boy (Note how HB
made most of the photos!). |
Minions
took one/two in the duathlon with Hutch grabbing first and Starsky
taking second on the podium! Is this a great country or what?!?
Our
own Stroker won the Masters “Aqua Bike” and took second overall!
Do
Minions rock or what!?!
Congratulations
to all the Minions who took part! You did the Nation proud!
 |
| Nikeboy and his Team! |
BLOODY
'ELL 'UNDRED JUST TWO WEEKS AWAY!
Belo
News
July
24, 2014,
Gull
Lake, Mi. - The Nation is only two weeks away from their beloved
Bloody 'Ell 'Undred and they are ready to rock. Thanks to beloved
Minion, Yetti, Gazelle Girl has procured a vintage sports car to ride
in to oversee the Nation as they make their annual pilgrimage to the
Walldorff in Hasting's after riding from the Zickman Estate. You
won't want to miss this event!
Here
are all the details!
.jpg)
Gazelle
Girl and Zickman are getting things ready to host the Nation on the
Third Annual Bloody 'Ell and you can be a part of this classic event.
The ride starts at the Zick Estate with Bloody Mary's and then the
riders head up to Hastings to have lunch and perhaps a beer or two,
at the Walldorff before heading back to the Zick Estate!
Check
out the attached invitation, as riders can have their spouses or
significant others to join them post ride at the Zick Estate and who
doesn't want to see the Zick Estate!
It
can't get better than this ride!
So
make sure you let Gazelle Girl know you're coming, Bunkie!
Well,
what are you waiting for?
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider
involved.
.jpg)
.JPG)
