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| Toast holding court at the Klutch! |
MORE NEW MINIONS IN THE NATION!
THE GREAT VIDEO EXPERIENCE FAILURE!
THE STYLE GUY IS BACK!
Belo News
April 19, 2014
Galesburg, Mi. - As the Nation is now
aware, the “Great Video” experiment did not go well in last weeks
Edition. Though the logical conclusion would be “Operator Error”
on the part of the Editors here at Belo News, and though they should
have guessed something was wrong when it took almost 2 ½ hours to
upload the video of the finish, the editors have committed to keep
trying so that the Nation can not only read about themselves, but can
watch themselves as well! After all, in the mighty Minion Nation it
IS ALL about us!
Please bear with Belo News as we work on this new technology!
Now, on to this weeks story......
As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our
intrepid hero, the Sharkman, had begun to obsess over what he would
chose from his wide haberdashery of stylish cycling apparel. The
Shark Forecasting System was reporting that it would be around 40 degrees when he would
launch from the Cove but would be around 65 when he would exit the
Klutch for the ride home.
As he was pondering this decision,
Sharkman received a text from Mad Dog. Apparently he had been
drinking too much coffee already and needed to get out early. He informed
our hero that he would meet up with him on the road.
As the Shark Cove garage door lifted,
Sharkman noted that Rainman was suited up and ready to rock.
As predicted, the two picked up Mad
Dog, as well as an east tail wind that literally allowed them to coast
most of the way to the start.
Sharkman likes to coast.....
As they arrived, they were taken aback
by all of the cars in the parking lot!
Several new Virgin Minions were in the
mix and some actually had Minion names already!
It seemed to be Father and Son day as
long time Minions Ox and Easty brought their sons with them (though
Easty forgot his helmet! Oh, the humanity!)
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| Ox with son "Oxito!" |
Ox son immediately was named “Oxito”
(Little Ox in Spanish though he is taller than the old man!). It was
easy to name Easty's son, and so that there was not confusion, he was
immediately named “Westy.”
Welcome to the Nation Oxito and Westy!
Next up was another Minion Virgin who
had come with Cheese. His name was Jeff but two suggestions came up
during the ride, “Mr. Rodgers” and “Snotty.” Though his last
name is Rodgers, the Editors are unsure where “Snotty” came from,
so let's hear from the Nation what his name should be!
Welcome to the Nation Snotty or Mr.
Rodgers, whatever!
Also in the mix was a Virgin Minion
named Mark who stated his name was “Ollie.” Love those names!
Welcome to the Nation Ollie!
Next up was attempting to figure out
how to get a helmet for Easty, who was riding around the parking
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| Minion Virgin Ollie with Polar Bear! Welcome to the Nation Ollie! |
After every option was checked, Easty decided
to ride to Gazelle Girls Triple Nasty Ranchero to see if she had an
extra helmet. Once he had directions, he and Westy took off for the
Ranchero.
Meanwhile, the riders kept pouring in!
Toast was back and reported that he
had knee replacement surgery just 4 weeks prior to the ride! Is they
guy a super stud or what! Stryker Guy immediately asked if it was a
Stryker Replacement Knee and when he learned it was, quickly entered
negotiations with Toast to be a poster child for their superior
medical prostheses!
As all of this was going on, the Style
Guy rode in! Yes, the Style Guy, none other than Squeaky, was actually wearing a
cycling type balaclava instead of the double ear protection/stocking cap combination. He als was wearing sweatpants, over which he had "layered" soccer
pants, as well as knee high tube socks with the sweatpants tucked in! Does this guy know style or what?
Everyone will be wearing this stuff and hopefully the bike shops will
start stocking up on soccer shorts and tube socks now!
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| Snotty or Mr. Rodgers with Cheese! We report, you decide! |
All told, 22 Minions made the ride
Saturday that had a cool start, but a warm finish!
Meanwhile, Gazelle Girl had actually
planned to ride downtown to the start and was caught at the Klutch by
Easty and Westy. They hammered back to the Ranchero, where Toe
Setter had locked the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" out of the house.
Gazelle Girl had to locate the secret key before getting into the
house to get a helmet, while Easty was supposed to hold the Nation at
HJ and 36th Street!
As the peloton raced by the
intersection, Easty was up the road on HJ and gave a signal that Sharkman
misinterpreted and thought he was saying, “no Gazelle Girl,” so
the Nation kept going.
Sharkman again won the first sprint
from the peloton where he was also conducting an interview with the
tofosi and pondered why he hadn't thought of this before! He was
quoted as saying, “it is so easy from back here I may have to
consider this for the finishing sprint!”
After the first sprint, the peloton
waited and sure enough, there was Gazelle Girl, Easty and Westy back
in the peloton and all was well in the kingdom!
The wind seemed to push the Nation up
the Col de Twin Lakes and on to the Rt. 89 crossing, past the
Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner and on to the Kountry Klub section
where the speed picked up considerably.
Just at the peloton passed the Kountry
Klub, “flat!” was heard and the train splintered between the
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| Sqeaky, the Style Guy, sporting his Tube Socks and Soccer Pants! |
When all had gathered up at the Rt. 43
stop, Sharkman lead the Nation down the hill and past some of the
baddest road along the KK-TdG. What use to be one of the smoothest
parts of the ride now has pot holes that families could live in!
As the Nation climbed the col de Norte
and headed south, they could feel the wind coming out of the east and
the fast moving train seemed to split into several smaller groups.
The Nation grouped through Frona's,
the Inlet Sprint and on to the Digital Divide where someone asked
about how it got it's name. Gazelle Girl then shared the story
(which can be found in the archives of Belo News to the right of the
page.....however the Editors cannot remember which edition it was in)
of how she had found a cell phone crossing Rt. 89 and how she got it
back to it's owner.
Just before the GGG Spot Sprint,
another “flat” was shouted out and this time it was Kid Doster's turn
to have to change a tire. Again, Cannon went back to move things
along but the Nation was great about waiting as the tire was
repaired.
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| Yeti Boy conducting pre-race interviews! |
As the Nation headed south all were on for the
final sprint and Easty and Sharkman commented on how much fun it was
to watch the sprinters attempt to position themselves for the final
assault on the Stop Ahead Finish.
The Nation seemed to be in a very nice
(by Minion standards) double pace line as the finish loomed ahead.
Sharkman was a bit worried at how the Nation had clumped up for the finish but all was well in the peloton.
Rainman made his move halfway down the
final descent and Cannon went after him, followed by a cast of
thousands. As all are aware, Belo News does not report the final
sprint winners until at least May and if it doesn't warm up soon,
June this year!
Average Speed was down to 18.4 mph
this week, but a lot of that may have been due to the two flat tires
and the positioning going on in the final sprint finish that seemed
to slow and bunch up the riders for a slower run down 37th but a very fast finish.
The Nation needs Tow Truck and Hossman
back in the mix to lead out the young sprinters!
The crowds again went wild on the
Champs le Galesburg as the Nation strutted their stuff to the
tofosi,
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| New Owner, Andy, pouring the koffee! |
B-Rod told Sharkman he had no money,
so Sharkman bought for the first 5 Minions in line, then Rainman
threw out some money and paid it forward for the next few! Is this a
great country or what?!?
Luann was training the new owner,
Andy, who was refilling the kups of koffee and working harder
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| Easty (left) & Westy (right) talking with Mad Dog. Welcome to the Nation Westy! |
Hoosier Boy then came rolling in to
sign a few autographs after running a race up north of the course.
Good to see him back in the mix!
Sharkman was very glad he had Mad Dog
and Rainman to pull him home into the now very strong east wind.
But the ride goes on! The
Commissioner of Cycling continues to want to move the start time up, and many have asked about this, but the cold weather has not cooperated this year! The forecast for
this Saturday is for 37 on Friday night and only a high of 56 for the
day, so the start
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| Toast, 6 weeks after knee replacement! Whoa! |
Launch Time Still 10:00 a.m. - SHARP!
Be there!
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| Hoosier Boy stops by to sign autographs! |
FAST & FRIENDLY FRIDAY NIGHT TOUR DE GULL IS BACK!!!
Well, almost. That's why we need YOU!
Back in the day, the Friday Night Tour de Gull ride (part of the Kalamazoo Bicycle Club's line up) was a fast and friendly frolic around the lake. Sadly, over the past few years the ride turned from fast and friendly to fast and f___ you with a fair amount of jack assidry ensuing. Unfortunately, attendance dropped considerably.
The good news is that the riders who preferred the fast and f___ you pace have drifted away and the ride is back to fast and friendly. But we need folks to join us out there and get our numbers back up to the old days of 12-18 riders having a great ride on a great course on a Friday night. (Average speed around 20-21 mph.)
The ride starts at the Galesburg High School at 6 pm this Friday and goes to 6:15 pm at the beginning of May. E.mail me if you have any questions -joan.o@comcast.net. Come on out!
Gazelle Girl
BUT THE COMMISH HAS SOME SAFETY RECOMMENDATIONS!
Belo News
April 23, 2014
Shark Cave, Mi. - The Commissioner of
Cycling wants to commend the Nation for some great, safe riding this
year! The Minions have been super about watching out for fellow
Minions who have fallen off the back and have been great (for the
most part) about stopping at the Stop Signs and waiting, moving to
the right to allow cars to pass, and generally communicating well.
However, we do want to remind everyone
of the importance of three things.
1. When a rider hears "Car Back!" please attempt, as best you can, to get two abreast which is Michigan Law. Remember, we are guest around Gull Lake and we do not want to wear out our welcome so move on over.
2. Please do not cross the yellow lines, particularly on
hills and also, insure that you “hold your lines.” We had
a lot of crossing of the yellow lines in the Holy Roller Section last
week and those hills can create a major problem if a car is coming
from the opposite direction and someone is across the line.
3. Finally, with all the potholes, it is very easy to make sudden moves
and it is crucial that riders be aware that when they are in a group,
they need to be mindful of who is around them and sudden moves can
take the peloton down very quickly.
Remember, cycling can be an inherently
dangerous sport and everyone is responsible for their own safety and
rides at their own discretion. As it says on our Mast Head;
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any and all ridera involved.
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