SHARKMAN RIDES THE WEST!

Sharkman and Sharkboy ride!

12 MIGHTY MINIONS RIDE ON WITHOUT THEIR HERO!


STRYKER GUY TAKES BRASSTOWN IN BLOODY 'ELL FASHION!


NEW START TIME! NEW START TIME! NEW START TIME!

ICEMAN'S PINARELLO FOR SALE? OH, THE HUMANITY!


Belo News
April 30, 2014

Santa Fe, New Mexico – As the cycling world is already aware, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, is on Sharklet Sitting duty out in New Mexico and Belo News team of roving reporters are covering his every move!

The drive out to Elk City, Oklahoma on Saturday, as the Minions rode, was great. Lava Girl and Sharkman feasted on some of the best barbecue they've ever had at the “Rib Crib” with a bunch of cowboys watching ESPN on the bar TV!


However, on Sunday the Sharkman and Lava Girl faced 45 mph sustained winds, gusting to 65 as they headed on to Santa Fe. What looked like smog or haze ended up being banks of dirt and dust coming at them as their mileage dropped from 21.5 mph gallon down to 13. 1! Oh, the humanity!

Sharkman's ride!

However, they made it to Santa Fe in time for Sharkman to do a quick mountain bike ride!


We are also pleased to report that his son in law, the well known “Great Moultini,” was able to score him a very nice “Blue” road bike for his visit and he is riding every chance he gets! See the complete specs on this cool ride at;



http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-gear/gear-of-the-year/AC1.html

Is this a great country or what! He is even getting rides in with the Sharklet's AND Lava Girl!


Sharkman also brought his Giant 9er and has been blasting the trails at La Tierra between Sharklet Sitting duties!

Sharkman has plans for a Friday Edition of the KK-TdG West with a few of the Minions from Outside Magazine (we can only hope for a story there), so standby for more information in next weeks edition!

Oh, the humanity! Sharkman will return for the May 10 ride!


12 MIGHTY MINIONS RIDE ON WITHOUT THEIR HERO!


Belo News
April 26, 2014


Galesburg, Mi. - Though Sharkman was gone in body, he was present in spirit (actually, he was getting near St. Louis by the time the ride started) as the at least 12 Minions showed up to ride the KK-TdG. Belo News got a report from ace reporters Zickman and Gazelle Girl, however there does seem to be some dependencies in the accounts of who was there, how many riders there were and actually, what happened.

Reports seem to indicate, but could not be verified, that in addition to Zickman and Gazelle Girl, Wildman, Great Dane, Cheese, Nurse Ryan, Polar Bear, B-Rod, Easty, Mad Dog, Boatman, Ironman and others, but only Belo News knows all the Minion names so the editors apologize if any were missed by these two intrepid reporters.

Zickman reported a wild finish where Rainman and B-Rod fought it out to the last and that the second half of the ride was very fast. Zickman also reported that the average speed was north of 19 mph so the Nation continues to work their legs into shape!

Gazelle Girl reported that the Klutch was rocking and that Toe Setter rode in to sign autographs on his 1960s-ish Huffy Grocery Getter! What a ride! What a rider!

You won't want to miss next weeks edition!


NEW START TIME – NEW START TIME – NEW START TIME!

As this spring has been extremely cold, we've kept the start time later, but the Commissioner of Cycling has been getting some complaints from riders that the late start is screwing up other Saturday activities. So the start time will start moving forward in May! Though the forecast is still for cool weather this Saturday, the start will be moved up to 9:00 a.m. (and earlier as the weather warms until the regular start time of 8:00 a.m. kicks in!)

This Saturday, May 3, 2014

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!




STRYKER GUY TAKES BRASSTOWN IN BLOODY

Stryker Guy at the Top!

'ELL FASHION!

Belo News
April 26, 2014


Top of Hogpen, Ga. - The Nations own Stryker Guy took on the Brasstown Climb, as well as the summit at Hogpen this past week, to demonstrate his superior climbing skills! He did the Nation proud (mostly by surviving the climb AND by downing his Bloody 'Ell Jersey for the Nation! He discribed Brasstown as the “Col de Twin Lakes X 100!”

Great job Styker Guy, you did the Nation proud!

Iceman's Pinarello Prince looks fast hanging on the wall!

ICEMAN'S PINARELLO PRINCE FOR SALE?


OH, YEAH! AND IT CAN BE YOURS!




Belo News
April 30, 2014


Portage, Mi. - Just as Belo News went to press, word arrived that the infamous Iceman was selling his famed steed, the beautiful Pinarello Prince! So here is Iceman's write up on this great bike if you are interested! Not only do you get a great bike, but it was ridden by the famous Iceman!

From Iceman hizzelf!

Is this a great country or what?!!

Here is your chance to own your own speed demon.

I'm selling my Pinarello Prince. See attached.

Anyone in the Great Minion Nation interested?

On the CMS team?

Trikats?

Priority Health?

Anyone else for that matter?

The thing is a rocket ship and weighs in at 16lbs 9oz !!! On the Pedal shop scale w/o pedals.

Plus it's art in motion. It looks fast just hanging on the wall. Give it as a gift for basement decoration!!Win the final Minion Nation Sprint this weekend!

59.5cm
- Pinarello Prince FP, 2009/10.
- ONDA carbon fork/steerer
- full Campy Record Carbon groupo 11 sp.
- two sets of wheels. 1) Easton EC70 SL (carbon) as pictured and weighed, and Easton EA90 SL (basically new).
- Carbon bars, stem, seatpost, Carbon crank, 177.5cm,
- Campy Chainrings 53/39, 11 speed 11/25 Campy cassettes rear.
- Fizik Arione saddle. A bit worn because it came off my other bike.

• Top-o-the-line build.
• Super nice condition, always stored inside. Two small chips in paint and one spot of inside rub from the tire from a broken spoke on chainstay.

Basically carbon everything. Campy everything. I bought this with under 100 miles on it from the Bissell Pro Cycling team when I was working with them as a sponsor. The team mechanic assured me it was perfect... and it has been. Did I say Top-o-the-line build?

Has about 1,200- 1,500 miles on it now. Never raced, never down. Ridden only by me... rather easily.
$3,800 obo including the two wheel sets. Would love to see it stay local before I put it on EBAY. I hate to get rid of it. I am funding some other bike projects with it.

Any help selling is appreciated.  
Thanks,
Rob

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

Toast holding court at the Klutch!

ANOTHER HUGE TURN OUT!


MORE NEW MINIONS IN THE NATION!


THE GREAT VIDEO EXPERIENCE FAILURE!


THE STYLE GUY IS BACK!

Belo News

April 19, 2014

Galesburg, Mi. - As the Nation is now aware, the “Great Video” experiment did not go well in last weeks Edition. Though the logical conclusion would be “Operator Error” on the part of the Editors here at Belo News, and though they should have guessed something was wrong when it took almost 2 ½ hours to upload the video of the finish, the editors have committed to keep trying so that the Nation can not only read about themselves, but can watch themselves as well! After all, in the mighty Minion Nation it IS ALL about us!

Please bear with Belo News as we work on this new technology!

Now, on to this weeks story......

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, had begun to obsess over what he would chose from his wide haberdashery of stylish cycling apparel. The Shark Forecasting System was reporting that it would be around 40 degrees when he would launch from the Cove but would be around 65 when he would exit the Klutch for the ride home.

As he was pondering this decision, Sharkman received a text from Mad Dog. Apparently he had been drinking too much coffee already and needed to get out early. He informed our hero that he would meet up with him on the road.

As the Shark Cove garage door lifted, Sharkman noted that Rainman was suited up and ready to rock.

As predicted, the two picked up Mad Dog, as well as an east tail wind that literally allowed them to coast most of the way to the start. 

Sharkman likes to coast.....

As they arrived, they were taken aback by all of the cars in the parking lot!

Several new Virgin Minions were in the mix and some actually had Minion names already!

It seemed to be Father and Son day as long time Minions Ox and Easty brought their sons with them (though Easty forgot his helmet! Oh, the humanity!)

Ox with son "Oxito!"

Ox son immediately was named “Oxito” (Little Ox in Spanish though he is taller than the old man!). It was easy to name Easty's son, and so that there was not confusion, he was immediately named “Westy.”

Welcome to the Nation Oxito and Westy!

Next up was another Minion Virgin who had come with Cheese. His name was Jeff but two suggestions came up during the ride, “Mr. Rodgers” and “Snotty.” Though his last name is Rodgers, the Editors are unsure where “Snotty” came from, so let's hear from the Nation what his name should be!

Welcome to the Nation Snotty or Mr. Rodgers, whatever!

Also in the mix was a Virgin Minion named Mark who stated his name was “Ollie.” Love those names!

Welcome to the Nation Ollie!

Next up was attempting to figure out how to get a helmet for Easty, who was riding around the parking

Minion Virgin Ollie with Polar Bear!
Welcome to the Nation Ollie!

lot asking all those who had driven to the start if they had an extra one in their car. A Team Active Mini Van was on site and Sharkman checked it to find the Cannon sitting in the drivers seat on a conference call, however, he did not have an extra helmet in the van!

After every option was checked, Easty decided to ride to Gazelle Girls Triple Nasty Ranchero to see if she had an extra helmet. Once he had directions, he and Westy took off for the Ranchero.

Meanwhile, the riders kept pouring in!

Toast was back and reported that he had knee replacement surgery just 4 weeks prior to the ride! Is they guy a super stud or what! Stryker Guy immediately asked if it was a Stryker Replacement Knee and when he learned it was, quickly entered negotiations with Toast to be a poster child for their superior medical prostheses!

As all of this was going on, the Style Guy rode in! Yes, the Style Guy, none other than Squeaky, was actually wearing a cycling type balaclava instead of the double ear protection/stocking cap combination.  He als was wearing sweatpants, over which he had "layered" soccer pants, as well as knee high tube socks with the sweatpants tucked in! Does this guy know style or what? 

Everyone will be wearing this stuff and hopefully the bike shops will start stocking up on soccer shorts and tube socks now! 

Snotty or Mr. Rodgers with Cheese!
We report, you decide!

All told, 22 Minions made the ride Saturday that had a cool start, but a warm finish!

Meanwhile, Gazelle Girl had actually planned to ride downtown to the start and was caught at the Klutch by Easty and Westy. They hammered back to the Ranchero, where Toe Setter had locked the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" out of the house. Gazelle Girl had to locate the secret key before getting into the house to get a helmet, while Easty was supposed to hold the Nation at HJ and 36^th Street!

As the peloton raced by the intersection, Easty was up the road on HJ and gave a signal that Sharkman misinterpreted and thought he was saying, “no Gazelle Girl,” so the Nation kept going.

Sharkman again won the first sprint from the peloton where he was also conducting an interview with the tofosi and pondered why he hadn't thought of this before! He was quoted as saying, “it is so easy from back here I may have to consider this for the finishing sprint!”

After the first sprint, the peloton waited and sure enough, there was Gazelle Girl, Easty and Westy back in the peloton and all was well in the kingdom!

The wind seemed to push the Nation up the Col de Twin Lakes and on to the Rt. 89 crossing, past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner and on to the Kountry Klub section where the speed picked up considerably.

Just at the peloton passed the Kountry Klub, “flat!” was heard and the train splintered between the

Sqeaky, the Style Guy, sporting his
Tube Socks and Soccer Pants!

scene of the flat, the Kountry Klub parking log and the turn after the Kountry Klub. Easty had flatted (he was having a rough day) but Cannon, the fastest flat changer in the Nation, helped out and the train got back on track pretty quickly.

When all had gathered up at the Rt. 43 stop, Sharkman lead the Nation down the hill and past some of the baddest road along the KK-TdG. What use to be one of the smoothest parts of the ride now has pot holes that families could live in!

As the Nation climbed the col de Norte and headed south, they could feel the wind coming out of the east and the fast moving train seemed to split into several smaller groups.

The Nation grouped through Frona's, the Inlet Sprint and on to the Digital Divide where someone asked about how it got it's name. Gazelle Girl then shared the story (which can be found in the archives of Belo News to the right of the page.....however the Editors cannot remember which edition it was in) of how she had found a cell phone crossing Rt. 89 and how she got it back to it's owner.

Just before the GGG Spot Sprint, another “flat” was shouted out and this time it was Kid Doster's turn to have to change a tire. Again, Cannon went back to move things along but the Nation was great about waiting as the tire was repaired.

Yeti Boy conducting pre-race interviews!

As the Nation headed south all were on for the final sprint and Easty and Sharkman commented on how much fun it was to watch the sprinters attempt to position themselves for the final assault on the Stop Ahead Finish.

The Nation seemed to be in a very nice (by Minion standards) double pace line as the finish loomed ahead.

Sharkman was a bit worried at how the Nation had clumped up for the finish but all was well in the peloton.

Rainman made his move halfway down the final descent and Cannon went after him, followed by a cast of thousands. As all are aware, Belo News does not report the final sprint winners until at least May and if it doesn't warm up soon, June this year!

Average Speed was down to 18.4 mph this week, but a lot of that may have been due to the two flat tires and the positioning going on in the final sprint finish that seemed to slow and bunch up the riders for a slower run down 37th but a very fast finish.

The Nation needs Tow Truck and Hossman back in the mix to lead out the young sprinters!

The crowds again went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation strutted their stuff to the tofosi,

New Owner, Andy, pouring the koffee!

paparazzi and the sponsors!

B-Rod told Sharkman he had no money, so Sharkman bought for the first 5 Minions in line, then Rainman threw out some money and paid it forward for the next few! Is this a great country or what?!?

Luann was training the new owner, Andy, who was refilling the kups of koffee and working harder

Easty (left) & Westy (right) talking with Mad Dog.
Welcome to the Nation Westy!

                                                                                                                                                                    than a onearmed wallpaper hanger! Welcome to the Nation Andy!

Hoosier Boy then came rolling in to sign a few autographs after running a race up north of the course. Good to see him back in the mix!

Sharkman was very glad he had Mad Dog and Rainman to pull him home into the now very strong east wind.

Unfortunately, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, will miss the next two rides as he heads out to Santa Fe to do some high altitude training and babysitting for his Sharklets!

But the ride goes on! The Commissioner of Cycling continues to want to move the start time up, and many have asked about this, but the cold weather has not cooperated this year! The forecast for this Saturday is for 37 on Friday night and only a high of 56 for the day, so the start

Toast, 6 weeks after knee replacement! Whoa!

will stay the same for one more week and start times will start moving up in May.

This Saturday, April 26, 2014


Launch Time Still 10:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Hoosier Boy stops by to sign autographs!

FAST & FRIENDLY FRIDAY NIGHT TOUR DE GULL IS BACK!!!

Well, almost. That's why we need YOU!

Back in the day, the Friday Night Tour de Gull ride (part of the Kalamazoo Bicycle Club's line up) was a fast and friendly frolic around the lake. Sadly, over the past few years the ride turned from fast and friendly to fast and f___ you with a fair amount of jack assidry ensuing. Unfortunately, attendance dropped considerably. 

The good news is that the riders who preferred the fast and f___ you pace have drifted away and the ride is back to fast and friendly. But we need folks to join us out there and get our numbers back up to the old days of 12-18 riders having a great ride on a great course on a Friday night. (Average speed around 20-21 mph.) 

The ride starts at the Galesburg High School at 6 pm this Friday and goes to 6:15 pm at the beginning of May. E.mail me if you have any questions -joan.o@comcast.net. Come on out!

Gazelle Girl

NATION LOUDED FOR SAFE RIDING!

BUT THE COMMISH HAS SOME SAFETY RECOMMENDATIONS!

Belo News

April 23, 2014

Shark Cave, Mi. - The Commissioner of Cycling wants to commend the Nation for some great, safe riding this year! The Minions have been super about watching out for fellow Minions who have fallen off the back and have been great (for the most part) about stopping at the Stop Signs and waiting, moving to the right to allow cars to pass, and generally communicating well.

However, we do want to remind everyone of the importance of three things.

1.  When a rider hears "Car Back!"  please attempt, as best you can, to get two abreast which is Michigan Law.  Remember, we are guest around Gull Lake and we do not want to wear out our welcome so move on over.

2.  Please do not cross the yellow lines, particularly on hills and also, insure that you “hold your lines.” We had a lot of crossing of the yellow lines in the Holy Roller Section last week and those hills can create a major problem if a car is coming from the opposite direction and someone is across the line. 

3. Finally, with all the potholes, it is very easy to make sudden moves and it is crucial that riders be aware that when they are in a group, they need to be mindful of who is around them and sudden moves can take the peloton down very quickly.

Remember, cycling can be an inherently dangerous sport and everyone is responsible for their own safety and rides at their own discretion. As it says on our Mast Head;

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any and all ridera involved.

MINIONS ROCK THE ROADS!

The Nation Rocks on Video!

KLUTCH OPEN FOR BUSINESS!


MINIONS ON VIDEO? YES, VIDEO!


Belo News
April 12, 2014


Galesburg, Mi. - What a difference a week makes! Well, that and warm weather!


Twenty four of the Nation showed up to ride the KK-TdG AND to take the pace up! This group was ready to rock along with the warm weather.

The Nation ready to roll!

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman bound out of covers when the sunshine bounced of the Sharkman Bobble-head next to his Shark bed.


Our hero had planned to make his first ride over with Mad Dog and then get a ride back from Yeti Boy, who was driving to the start. Sharkman could not have picked a better day!


At 9:00 A.M. - SHARP! Mad Dog rode up to the Cove as Sharkman continued to peal off layers he thought he would need. It was warming up fast and the sun was shining bright!


Is this a great country or what!


Mad Dog and Sharkman chatted it up, as they cruised on over to the start. The wind was fairly light, but they detected that it was coming out of the west and increasing as they rode over.


At the start, they found B-Rod unloading his steed and making his season debut as riders just kept piling into the start.

Polar Bear was back!

As regular readers of Belo News are aware, it can be difficult to mention all the many Minions who ride, but many photo's were taken, particularly of those who were making their season debut.


New to the Nation was an Eaton rider that came along with Wildman. They were in matching kit and Sharkman quickly awarded them “kit of the Day” designation. Of course, Jim did not have a Minion name, and did not seem to do anything crazy on the ride to warrant one, YET.


But a big welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Jim (to be named later)!


Brewman, a regular early arriver pulled in as did Polar Bear making his season debut. Ranger Rick, Rainman (who didn't get his but out of bed in time to make the ride over with Mad Dog and Sharkman) pulled in followed by Stryker Guy, Dr. Dave, Boatman, and then the grand entrance of the Style Guy, hizzelf, Squeaky!

Squeaky, The Style Guy was back!

Yes, Squeaky was back and donned in the sartorial splendor that has made him famous in the Nation!


Sporting the kind of clothes one would wear on an Arctic Expedition, Squeaky not only had ear covers, but a thick stocking cap over them, as well as winter leather gloves, sweat pants, and extra layers of shirts. Realizing that it was a bit warm for all the clothing, the Style Guy strapped the leftover clothing around his aero bars and tied it all together with the sleeves of a long sleeve tee! Once again, the Nation clamored to get a better look at this “Man of style.”


Yeti Boy arrived with his Go Pro camera, which intrigued Stryker Guy, and was ready to start to film the Nation on this beautiful morning.


Moments later, Ryan pulled in who has managed to maintain such a low profile in the peloton, he has not received a name in over two years! Shortly after, Iceman and Nickhead from Team Taylor rode in on their cyclocross bikes! What studs!


All in all, 19 riders got ready as Sharkman lined up the Nation for a final photo and at 10:00 A.M. - “SHARP!” the Nation launched the start!


Sharkman spent a lot of time in the peloton “pressing the flesh” and welcoming his beloved Minions

Wildman & Jim in their Eaton kit, looking good!

back for the season. As the Nation pulled out of the start, riders started approaching. First Wrongway pulled up as the Nation approached the Klutch, where Luann and a customer were waiting to cheer the nation on.


After the Nation got onto 36^th Street and headed north, they saw two more riders approach, one of whom was the Sweetheart of the Peloton and riding legend, Gazelle Girl. She was riding with Ironman who seemed a bit miffed that he did not get the same shout out that she did.


More riders piled on, like Easty and after Sharkman crushed B-Rod and Zickman in the Opening Sprint while still in the peloton, the count of riders went up to 24! Oh, the humanity.


There were so many riders, not all of them made it across G Ave. and Sharkman went back to get Wildman and Jim.


The Nation could feel the wind as they headed to the next sprint, where everyone waited, like good Minions, for Sharkman to get back to the peloton.

Nickhead & Iceman of Team Taylor were there!

After the Nation blew apart on the col de Twin Lakes, they actually caught the light at 89 and continued up the col de No Name, past the Yorkville Church, around Kellogg Korner and through the Kountry Klub section where the pace was really picking up! It appeared that the Nation had already shaken off their winter legs! Is this April or June?!?


All riders were on at the summit of the col de Norte and the nation could feel the wind behind them as they headed south to the Holy Rollers.


At one point, Sharkman looked over at Squeaky and noticed he was sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage! Yet his extra clothing was neatly wrapped around his aero bars! And that, is why he is known as “The Style Guy!”


As the Nation headed south, Yeti Boy asked if the peloton could wait for him to film them coming down the hill after Frona's. Sharkman, always looking to be immortalized in film, consented to hold the Nation at Frona's but told the budding documentary film maker that he would have to worry, because holding back the Nation would be like asking 5 year olds to sit still!


Yeti Boy busted ahead at the Frona stop as Dr. Dave's phone rang. He was apparently needed in

Stryker Guy taking a gander at Yeti Boys gear!

surgery and someone thought they heard him say, “go ahead and cut the red one and see if that works......”
Dr. Dave signaled the Nation to go ahead and he would take the cutoff.


Knowing that there was a video camera out there somewhere, Sharkman shot off to the lead with Rainman so he could get his pretty face in the video. At the bottom of the hill, before the turn to the sprint on the Inlet leg, there was Yeti Boy to shoot the video! Pretty cool and our intrepid hero was in front!


After the inlet sprint, Sharkman asked Gazelle Girl to hold the Nation at the Digital Divide as he went back for Yeti Boy. Yeti Boy and Sharkman picked up Dr. Dave at the Inlet and shortly after he got, yet another call and had to pull over stating he would catch us at the Klutch.


As good Minions, the Nation was waiting at the Digital Divide, where a safe crossing was made and a VERY informal pace line formed up and the speed went up immediately, but was yet very comfortable for the early season.

Ranger Rick was back as well!

There was some “fun” sprinting to the GGG finish and Sharkman's Cat-eye was showing 18.3 miles per hour as they crossed G to begin the final sprint.


A group of riders went to the front, with many of the Nation marking major sprinters at the back, trying to catch a ride to the sprint. Wrongway was leading the pack and Sharkman went around to hang on to his wheel. The Nation sat in through the final ascent, on the short flat and then made their move as the down hill finish began. It was pure bedlam and the Nation careened down the hill to the finish with Rainman, Iceman, B-Rod, Wrongway, Nickhead and a cast of thousands all in the weeds.


Average speed last week, 16.3 mph. Average speed this week, 18.6 mph on Sharkman's computer and 18.8 mph on B-Rods. Because Sharkman made a couple of trips back for riders, the average speed was probably more like B-Rods! What a difference a week makes!


The crowds went wild with all the riders on the Champs le Galesburg and Luann was waiting with her hot Koffee as the Nation crawled in! Zickman was first in line and bought koffee for our intrepid hero! Is this a great country or what?!?

B-Rod explaining something to Boatman &
Brewman........

Luann stated that the Klutch was still sold and that it had only been delayed until April 25, when she will turn the keys over to Andrew!


We'll miss you Luann!


The Klutch rocked with Minions taking up three tables!


The weather was so good, that Sharkman decided to ride back with Mad Dog, making his first round trip of the year and racking up 53 miles for the day!


You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!


The weather seems to want to stay cold and we haven't had too many complaints about the start time, so it will stay the same until we get some warmer weather!


Saturday, April 19, 2014


Launch Time – 10:00 A.M. - SHARP!


Be there!

Minions enjoying the Klutch!

The Klutch was rocking!

The finish....or most of it!

So, what did you think, Jim to be named later?

FINALLY, OPEN DAY!

Opening Day finally arrived!

KLUTCH KLOSED? SAY IN AIN’T SO!

GAZELLE GIRL JUST CAN’T STOP!

Belo News

April 5, 2014

Galesburg, Mi. - The emails  started coming in the minute Belo News went to press last week!

“Have a great Opening Day! I’ll be on Spring Break!”

“Sorry I can’t be there, I’ll be on Spring Break!”

“Hope to see you next week when I’m back from Spring Break!”

What the ……..?!?

Who knew Spring Break would get in the way of Opening Day?  Where are the Nations priorities!

Snow, sleet, freezing temps and now, Spring Break?!?

Sharkman began to worry, wondering if anyone would be at the start until he received a note from Mad Dog, “We riding over?”

Sharkman was ready to ride!

Unfortunately with the minimal miles our intrepid hero had on the bike, he gratefully declined riding over, but he knew that at least Mad Dog, and Sharkman’s Wingman, Yeti Boy, would be making the trip over (Yeti Boy wanted a ride to the start).  Gazelle Girl also checked in stating that she would be in attendance.  

After all, it was Opening Day!

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bound from his Shark Bed a bit groggy.  He had flown back from California where he had been visiting his Sharklet’s and had only arrived at the Cove at 10 p.m the previous evening.  Being on California time, it was very early for the old Shark as he pulled on his winter riding gear and loaded his faithful steed for the drive over to Galesburg.

The temperature was 34 degrees and the Shark had loaded on the clothes to insure his warmth after the sunshine in California!

After mounting the bike rack and bike to his car, he headed over to pick up Yeti Boy and then on to Galesburg.

As the two arrived at the start, a lone rider was circling the parking lot looking for other riders.  It was none other than the legendary Minion, Brewman.

As Sharkman and Yeti Boy worked to get their bikes ready, other minions began to appear.

First Kid Doster, then Cheese, and none other than Wrong Way sporting a single speed, belt driven cross bike!! 

What an animal!

Two other, heavily dressed riders pulled in who were identified as Zickman and Mad Dog after some of the layers of their clothing were pealed back to reveal their identity.

Gazelle Girl at the start!

After the Mayor of Galesburg and Governor Snyder made their remarks and the Sharkman was given the key to the city, yet another rider was seen on the horizon as the sun began to shine on the Nation.

It was Gazelle Girl, who did not want to be left out of the group photo!  

It has been some time since the “Sweetheart of the Peloton” had made it to the start and accordingly, the Nation went wild as she rode in to the cheers of her adoring paparazzi!

After the ceremonial photos were taken of the Nation, autographs for the Govenor and the Mayor, the lovely sound of pedals clicking in resounded around the Galesburg Middle School and the peloton pulled out of the station to begin the 2014 Season!  

Finally!

As the Nation rode by the Klutch, Luann waved at the riders and everyone wondered if something had happen to the sale of the Klutch as the “For Sale” signs were again in the window.

The Nation headed up 37th street at a torrid pace of at least 15 mph with Sharkman and Kid Doster up front setting the pace.  Sharkman was hoping that if he stayed at the front, he might be able to control the Nation from blasting him out of the back of the peloton.

The pace picked up as the Nation approached the first sprint, taking it easily at a blistering pace of 16.3 mph! Sharkman was then heard to say, “I’m done for the day…..”

As the Nation headed towards the Col de Twin Lakes they could feel the strong northwest head winds buffeting them but knew that they would have the wind behind them on the way home. Additionally, the chatter in the peloton worked to keep the Nation warm as they attacked the hill.

Though the peloton split apart on the Col de Twin Lakes, it came back together and continued the chatter through Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub section of the ride, where Yeti Boy and Sharkman took to the front again, in an effort to keep the pace under control.  This seemed to work and it was not until the turn after the Kountry Klub that Zickman, with Kid Doster on his wheel, went to the front to contest the sprint.

The coffee was flowing!

The Nation came together at Rt. 43 and headed to the Col de Norte where there was still a considerable amount of snow on the side of the road, as well as some ice. 

All were on and still chattering as the train made it’s way south on the east side of the lake through the Holy Rollers, Frona’s and the Inlet sprints.

As a matter of fact, the Nation was so social, a pace line did not form up after the traditional spot at the Digital Divide and the entire Nation stayed together through the GGG Sprint where Zickman, Mad Dog and Kid Doster fought for the coveted sprint.

As the Nation climbed the final ascent, leading to the finish, Cheese made a move that was quickly covered by Zickman and Kid Doster and they were off to the races.  Meanwhile, Sharkman and Yeti Boy were having trouble getting into the large crank and Wrong Way, on his Single speed, were all pedaling air as the Nation moved to the finish.

As all Minions are aware, Belo News does not report the sprint finishes or the finish until at least mid-May.

As the Nation made it’s inaugural run down the Champs le Galesburg, the tofosi and paparazzi went wild cheering their heroes who quickly zipped up their jerseys for their sponsors, as well as to ward off the cold.

Is that a head of whip cream or what!?!

As the Nation approached the Klutch, craving some of Luann’s famous Koffee, they noticed a sign on the door……

A sign that read, “Closed at 11:00 a.m. for a Catering Event!”

What?

Oh, the humanity!

On Opening Day!?! 

Oh, double the humanity!

Not to be unKoffeed, the Nation headed across the street to the bakery where they found the coffee was flowing!

And best yet, Cheese sprung for the coffee!  Is this a great country or what!

Zickman entertained the Nation with stories of the boat he is building and Yeti Boy gave a lecture on Colonial Mexico and more specifically San Miguel de Allende, while Cheese downed a cup of hot chocolate with a huge whip cream head on it!

Zickman showing Yeti Boy the boat he is building!

After getting their fill of coffee, hot chocolate and whip  cream, the Nation headed home with that mellow feeling that only comes from a great ride with great people.

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition, when hopefully all those absent due to Spring Break will return!  The forecast is for sunshine and in the 60’s, so is should be a great day to ride with plenty of the Nation back in the fold!

This Saturday, April 12, 2014

Launch Time - 10:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

GAZELLE GIRL DOES IT ALL! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Dr. Dave, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter on the slopes!

Belo News

April 5, 2014

By Dr. Dave

Harbor Springs, Mi. - Clearly, the Opening Day of the KK – TDG was not enough exercise for Gazelle Girl!  

Looking for any excuse to exercise and enjoy a Bloody Mary at the same venue Gazelle Girl and Toesetter made the 4 hour drive up to Harbor Springs to partake in Telebration!  

This is an annual event traditionally held on Nubs last day of the season. This is where "Pinheads" from around the state gather to drop a knee, raise a heel (and a glass), and free their souls in a celebration of all things Telemark.

Dr. Dave, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter thoroughly enjoyed a fine day of Spring skiing in the 50 degree sunshine.

Time to hang up the sticks and catch up with the Minions on the bricks.

Respectfully submitted,

Dr. Dave

Sharkman riding the California foothills, is ready to ride!

OPENING DAY IS FINALLY HERE!

THIS SATURDAY STARTS ANOTHER SEASON!

SHARKMAN TOURS THE WEST!

Belo News
April 2, 2014

Walnut Creek, Ca. - As many a Minion already know, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, has been out in the west visiting his sharklets, along with riding bike between rain storms.  Our hero did the Lafayette-Moraga Trail on Sunday but reports that it has been raining ever since.  He has also toured Alcatraz and the Jelly Belly Factory where he needed to be removed from a chocolate covered jelly belly vat by the security team, dressed as, you guessed it, Jelly Beans.

Oh, the indignity!

But do not fear, loyal readers of Belo News and fellow Shark Minions!  Our hero returns late Friday night and will be present and accounted for on Saturday for Opening Day!  Though he is not getting the riding in that he wanted to, and may be severely jet lagged, he is ready to ride after the first delay for Opening Day in recorded Minion History!  However slow he may be!

Though postponed for 3 weeks, it is looking like the snow has finally subsided and the asphalt on the roads can now be seen!  (Along with all the winter crap left on the road.)

Anyone who is anyone will want to be there for the festivities.

Minions may want to arrive early for the send off speeches by celebrities, dignitaries and assorted street people or anyone who has anything to say. 

This is the day the Nation has been waiting for all winter so you won't want to be late to the party!

This Saturday, April 5, 2014!

Launch Time - 10:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there Bunkie!

INVITING RIDERS TO THE KK-TdG

Belo News
April 2, 2014

Walnut Creek, Ca. - Since it is the start of the season, the Commissioner of Cycling wants to remind Minions about the nature of the KK-TdG ride and inviting guests.

This ride was created to offer an opportunity for riders who have families with kids, jobs that take up a lot of time, and therefore do not have a lot of time to train.  This ride is for those riders to be able to come out to ride with others in the category known as "Working stiffs with families and obligations that don't have time to ride but still want some fun competition."  This is not a ride for the supper fast hammerheads, nor is it a ride for touring riders who do not want to compete.  On this ride, riders may contest the Stop Ahead Signs and the Final Sprint, but the ride stops at all Stop Signs and waits for riders to catch back on.

No exceptions.

Please feel free to invite riders to the KK-TdG, but remember that you are responsible for that rider and if they cannot keep up with the pace of the peloton, you are responsible for that rider to get back to the Klutch.

It has come to our attention that some people have put notices out on Facebook and other Social Media and though we do not want to be elitist, we do not want riders who are overly competitive or cannot maintain the pace of the peleton. Therefore we request Minions to not post the KK-TdG as a public ride even though it is open to anyone who feels they fit in this category of "Working stiffs with families that don't have time to ride but still want some fun competition."

Having said that, those of you who have wanted to ride but were concerned about the pace should consider being a part of the early Spring Season as the Nation shakes out their winter legs and the pace is not as quick as later in the year when the season gets into full swing.

Early season pace maybe anywhere between 17-18 mph.  However that pace picks up to over 20 mph once May rolls around.

So, remember, if you invite someone, you are responsible for insuring their riding safety and also, if you've wanted to try the ride, this is the time of year to do it!

See everyone Saturday morning!