Here's to you!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED RIDE/PARTY HUGE SUCCESS!

ZICKMAN DEBUT'S WOOD BIKE! FINALLY!

MINIONS AT U.S. PRO CHALLENGE!

SHARKMAN RETURNS FOR COLLEGE GAME DAY THIS WEEKEND!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

August 25, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - It has been a long two weeks without our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, but it seems that all is well in the realm!  Yes, the Sharkman and Lava Girl have returned from their adventures out west, the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred is now in the history books as is the U.S. Pro Challenge, and it is College Game Day Saturday this weekend in celebration of the start of College Football! Is this a great country or what?!?

Oh, yes it is a great country and Belo News has a lot of "stuff" to share, so let's get started!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED RIDE/PARTY HUGE SUCCESS

Belo News

August 18, 2012

The Organizers! Gazelle Girl & Zickman!

Zickman Estate, Mi. - The news broke early here at Belo News that the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Ride/Party was a huge success.  The emails started flooding our system from staff photographer Dr. Dave, along with some great captions.  Later, some unsolicited testimonials came in like this one from Hoosier Boy:

"Hope you are enjoying Durango.  You missed a good time on Saturday at the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred.  Zickman and Gazelle girl did a great job on the party logistics.  Perfect day for riding ….. also had a lot of breaks that made a long ride relatively pain free – bloody mary’s in the morning, lunch and beers in Hastings in the afternoon.  Left my house at 7:00 am and didn’t get back until 5:30 pm and I skipped the after party!

Waldorf instead of the Klutch?

And from Stryker Guy:

"The Bloody ‘ell was awesome, although carb loading for the ride has usually meant pasta or fruit.  The “multiple beers” and start your engines Bloody Mary brought a new dimension to a pretty intense cardio work out."

Then, the attached photos came streaming into Belo News Central from none other than Dr. Dave!

Someone needed cheaters.

Followed by the write up by our own legend of the peloton and co-host, Gazelle Girl!

"A list of participants, as best I can determine is below. I believe Zickman counted 24 at the start. Looks like I am overlooking one person. 

Zickman, Gazelle Girl, Bissell Boy, Bling Girl, Boatman, Chico, Dr. Dave, Dr. Toe, Tow Truck, Green Hornet, Cato, Green, Hossman, Hoosier Boy, B-Rod, Ranger Rick, Skipper, Toast, Stryker Guy, Brewman, Stan, and Falcon joined us for a portion of the ride, as did a man and woman who I didn't know.

A line up?

The Waldorf was wonderful in my opinon. Very accommodating. Great service, beer and food. And so VERY, VERY nice of Zickman to pick up the beer tab (which had to have been big, what with ALL those thirsty riders!) and Tow Truck to pick up the food. Is this a great country or what??? (I'm not sure if these humble gentlemen want this mentioned in the blog or not….)(Editors Note - well, we'll mentioned it anyway…..after all, Sharkman ALWAYS  mentions who buys his koffee!)

Dr. Toe

B-Rod pushed the pace ALL day. He had most mistakenly told his better half that he'd be home by 1 pm. Let's see.... in four hours two dozen people are going to drink Bloody Mary's, ride 62 miles, drink beer, eat lunch and pee. I don't think so....

And speaking of 62 miles... Zickman's route was divine! Lovely, lonely roads with LOTS of hills on the way to the bar and a fairly easy ride back post-lunch. Just perfect!

Green Hornet and Cato

Zickman's wooden Renovo bike Debut!

It was a FABULOUS day with gorgeous weather, drinks, food and company. Afterwards, at Zickman's, we enjoyed more fine beer and were treated to a lovely banquet provided by Ranger Rick's gal Robin who had catered a work affair the night before. Again, is this a great country or what? Hossman's wife joined us as well, cracking everyone up with her keen sense of humor (of which Ranger Rick's gal Robin is no slouch either!). Great fun at the lake after a great day on the bikes! I think we need to do this AGAIN!"

Unfortunately, the Commissioner of Cycling is disqualifying the entire group for "Having such a great time, without the Sharkman!" to insure that there is never, ever, another party while he is gone!

The Renovo!

Big thanks to Zickman and Gazelle Girl for throwing this thing together!  You two did the mighty Minion Nation proud!

The Debut of the now famous Renovo Wooden Bike was also a huge hit!  Congratulations Zickman!

Rocky Mountain Minion Nation does the U.S Pro Challenge!

MINIONS AT THE U.S. PRO CHALLENGE!

Belo News

August 18, 2012

Durango, CO. - As previously reported, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was out in Durango for the U.S. Pro Challenge.  Hosted by the President of the Rocky Mountain Chapter of the mighty Minion Nation, the Durango Kid and his wife, the Lovely Toni. Lava Girl and Sharkman had an incredible time!

Sharkman & Sharklet Beck at the Marble Brewery Tap Room!

Before arriving in Durango, our hero spent time with his sharklets in Santa Fe and did two mountain bike rides with his son in law and a road ride with his daughter.  Chief among those rides was the Windsor Trail that is written up in this months Outside Magazine (we're sure that all Minions subscribe to Outside Magazine) and that our Sharkman complained to his son in law that he had never ridden.  When he heard it ended at a Mexican restaurant that served margarita's and Green Chili Cheese Burgers, Sharkman said he just had to check it off his list.

Riding the Windsor Trail!

Then on to Durango!

The Durango Kid and the Lovely Toni were phenomenal hosts and kept the first couple of cycling entertained for the entire weekend! 

The Lovely Toni & the Durango Kid!

The four found Wildman and his brother, herein known as Wildthing, at the Expo at the Ft. Lewis College and after getting a text from Wildman asking about their whereabouts.  Both Wildman and Wildthing were Official Race Marshals (pretty impressive, eh?) which meant they got to see each stage of the race up close and drink beer and party at night!  Whoa, this is a great country, eh?

Veteran Iron Horse Slayers!

The Durango Kid and the Lovely Toni took the first couple of cycling to one of the oldest hotels in town for a concert, arranged a personal tour of Indian ruins at Castle Rock, then to the play "Bicycle Man" and then to the race on Monday morning.  The fun just never stopped!

Race day was incredible! 

The four rode bikes down to the start along the beautiful Animas River that runs through Durango.

Fireworks at dinner!

The Durango Kid managed to get bleacher seats at one of the turns and the peloton did one parade lap and two sprint laps right in front of our hero.  After the riders rode downtown,  the Kid and Sharkman mounted their steeds and rode up to Wildcat Pass to watch the peloton as they came screaming down the mountain while the Lovely Tony and Lava Girl stayed in town to shop around and tour.  

After the peloton left town, Durango Kid and Sharkman met up with two other riders and rode Wildcat Pass so that Sharkman could ride some of the actual route (we told you that the Durango Kid thought of everything!).

The Fans!

As they got to the top of the Pass, and began their descent, the sky opened up with rain as they skidded and swerved down the mountain.

When they got to the bottom of the pass, Durango's cell phone rang.  It was the Lovely Toni and Lava Girl. 

That is when it happened, what has no come to be known and the "Impoundment Incident."

It appeared that when the ladies had gone back to the bleachers that the bikes were locked to, the bleachers AND the bikes were gone! 

OH, the humanity!

While Sharkman and the Durango Kid rode home in the rain to get the car and to put on some dry cloths, the ladies went in search of their bikes.

Wildcat Pass!

When Sharkman and the Durango Kid arrived at the police station, they found the two miscreant riders running their tin cups along the bars screaming their innocence!  They claimed they had been told they could leave their bikes locked to the bleachers but apparently the City thought otherwise! (Actually, the Police simply gave them back the bikes, minus the cable that they had cut off, commenting that Lava Girl's bikes was the nicest one they had ever confiscated. It just took the ladies a while to figure out where the bikes had been taken. No harm, no foul and the ladies were pretty good about it and even agreed to pose for the attached photo.)

Who cut my lock off?

All in all, a great visit.

During the week, Belo News also got a text message from Wildman who was with Bissell Boy, and a not from the Pirate that stated;

"One update my fine Shark hero. I missed the Bloody Ell Hundred. However I was successful in my first ever Vail Pass climb. 

Wildman & Bissell Boy in Aspen!

Today out did yesterday when my son Jared and I climbed Independence Pass and watch the riders come through the tunnel of people. I felt as though I was on the Alp d'heuz. 

What a thrill!

Hooked up with Bissell Boy and Wildman today. 

4116.3 mile road trip!

Is this a great country or what??"

Yes it is Pirate, yes it is!  If you've never seen a pro race, particularly one as big at the U.S. Pro Challenge, then you've got to figure out a way to see one.  It was an incredible thrill!

Big thanks to the Durango Kid and the Lovely Toni for fantastic hospitality and being such great hosts!  You did the Nation proud!

It was then on to the Grand Canyon where Sharkman went wild taking a gazillion photographs!  This is a great country and it was a great road trip!

The Grand Canyon!

Oh, the humanity!

COLLEGE GAME DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

September 1, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - It is "back to normal" this weekend when the Mighty Nation kicks off the College Football Season with "COLLEGE GAME DAY!" Yep, wear your favorite College Jersey kit as the college football season get's underway! With MSU playing on Friday night, we may not see them win the Jersey competition!

On Wisconsin!

Saturday, September 1, 2012 (it can't be September already can it?)

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED RIDE/PARTY THIS SATURDAY!

"TROIKA" OF OLD GUYS SWEEP  FINISH!

WHAT RAIN?

SHERMANATOR MINION REPORT!

IT'S SHARK WEEK ON DISCOVERY NETWORK! OH, YEAH!

Belo News

August 18, 2012

Zickman Estate, Mi. - It is finally here!  The ride/party every Minion has been waiting for!  

It's time for the BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED RIDE/PARTY starting from the palatial Zickman Estate to the Waldorf Brew Pub in Hastings for Lunch and return!

The Bloody Mary's will launch at 9 A.M. at the Zickman Estate with the Bloody 'Ell 'Undered to follow!

Rumors have been circulating that some major celebrities will be on hand to see the Minions off.  Those rumors include the Mayor, the Governor and both Presidential candidates, as well as the Queen of England now that the Olympics are finished! 

Hey, Zickman and Gazelle Girl are connected! You never know who might show!

It is important to RSVP ASAP so Zickman and Gazelle Girl (the co-hostess) have a dorsal count for beverages!

So let Gazelle Girl know at joano@comcast.net or 665-4555

How did this ride get started you ask?

"A few years ago the Minions did a convenient stop at Zickman's garage to put some air into Gazelle Girl's weeping tire. Such a pleasant place, Zickman's pad... thus, as the Minions exited the estate Gazelle Girl was heard to say, "I think we should start a ride from here some day. We could have Bloody Mary's first and then ride a century!" And, at last, it is so. 

Please join us Saturday, August 18 for the "BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED" (a metric 'undred, that is). Details on the invite here!

Be there!

Stryker Guy in his "Death Ride" Jersey

"TROIKA" OF OLD GUYS SWEEP  FINISH!

Belo News

August 11, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was feeling a bit woozy from being over served by Yeti Boy the previous evening.  It was dark outside and Sharkman was thinking it would be a good morning to sleep in.  But alas, he is very dedicated to his Minion Nation and thought, "wait, maybe it is raining!"

Our hero threw back the shark covers and ran to the warm glow of the Shark iPad as he checked the radar and sipped some coffee.

Though the roads were wet, it looked as though the rain was past and the old shark began getting his stuff together.

The early morning darkness required that our hero put his lights on the bike, which always reminds the Sharkman that the season is beginning to wind down.

After riding a few miles towards the start, he removed his rain jacket as his body warmed, but kept his arm warmers on.

As he approached the empty parking lot he began to wonder if the overcast sky's and threat of rain were keeping the Nation at bay?

Sharkmans fears were quickly abated as first, Airman pulled into the parking lot, followed by Squeaky, Steve (know known as Mad Dog - more on that later), and Kid Doster.  Shortly after, the Gull Lake boys trickled in, including Bissell Boy, Tow Truck, Hutch, Zickman, the Green Hornet and a very dapper Stryker Guy sporting his "Death Ride" jersey!

But it was raining at my house!

Soon, Danimal pulled into the parking lot in his car to report he had gotten ready to ride but when it started to pour rain at his house he thought the ride would be rained out and decided to go to the store!  On his way, the rain stopped and he drove to the start.  What was he thinking!

Sharkman and Airman led the Minion past the Klutch as the early morning coffee crew waving to the train as it sped by.

As the Train headed north, the Green Hornet, minus Kato, slammed into a pot hole and "Mechanical!" could be heard in the early morning mist.

What were you thinking Danimal?

As the peloton waited for the tire change, Gazelle Girl rode up and a discussion of nicknames ensued between Airman, Gazelle Girl, Sharkman and new Minion, Steve.  Steve shared that Bull was part of his last name, but that was too easy.  However, Airman mentioned that we did not have a "Mad Dog" in the peloton and Sharkman was so smitten with the name, he couldn't resist!  Hence, Steve will now be known as Mad Dog!

As the tire was fixed, the Nation headed out again.

Airman led out our hero and then near the first sprint Mad Dog took over.  Sharkman had some concerns that the new Minion was unaware of the "ceremonial aspect" of the first sprint, but again, his fears were unfounded as Mad Dog pealed off and Sharkman took the first sprint at around 27 mph.  Mad Dog does need to know that the first sprint IS ceremonial and Sharkman doesn't NEED to work that hard to get it!

After the G crossing, the major discussion centered around Squeaky needing to get his chain fixed and how his chain was so stretched, he would probably need a new crank and rear cassette.  Squeaky claims to have a crank on order, but the peloton awaits.....

In the Kountry Klub section, Tow Truck and Mad Dog went to the front and took he speed way up, all the way to the Rt. 43 stop sign.

As the Nation crested the col de Norte, the peloton seemed to be all together and an informal pace line got started through the Bible Conference hills to the Frona Sprint and into the Inlet.

With 37th still under construction, the Minions gathered up at the 38th Street crossing on 89 at the Inlet after Sharkman chided Squeaky for the second time about circling in the road and trying to cross early.  Patience, my Minions, patience!  The Minons all cross together!

Hutch pulled off in this section and Sharkman warned the Minions that they were to stay together on G ave. and to wait at 37th Street and G for the nation to come together.

This week, the Nation decided to play by the rules and though a bit of a "rolling"stop the riders waited for all the Minions to come together for the final sprint.

To the sound of "all on!"  the mighty Minion Nation started to move in behind Tow Truck and Gazelle Girl as they ramped up the speed.  

Mad Dog, Gazelle Girl and Tow Truck led the train to the top of the final ascent to the finish where Gazelle Girl took over and was on form with Tow Truck, Sharkman and a fast moving Zickman on their wheels.

As the rambling crew came down to the finish, Tow Truck made a move and Sharkman responded immediately.  The two riders broke free of the peloton and Sharkman attempted to make a final move just before the finish, but described moving out and around Tow Truck was "like hitting a wall of wind!" Tow Truck took the sprint by a half a bike length and Zickman followed behind.  The three "veteran" riders went one, two, three on the podium!

The three riders celebrated on the Champs le Galesburg as their fans went wild.  The troika of the oldest guys in the peloton had swept the podium.  When Zickman used the term "troika" Sharkman was so impressed he asked him how to spell it!

Though there was no discussion of periodontal decease in the Klutch this week there was quite a bit of buzz about the upcoming Bloody 'Ell Ride and the fact that our hero, the Sharkman will be out at the U.S. Pro Challenge out in Durango Colorado.  This lead to a major discussion of how Sharkman loves road trips and he shared his story of his family vacation to California when he was 11 years old and how much it was like the movie, "Vacation." Oh, the humanity!

(Editors Note - Yes, our hero will be gone the next couple of weeks and will miss both the Bloody 'Ell Ride, and the Minion ride the following week and the next two Tuesday Night rides.  However, Belo News will be accepting any write ups from Minions, along with photos, from these events and BN hopes to continue to report all the important cycling news!)

Hutch and Dr. Dave post race!

MINIONS RULE AT THE SHERMANATOR!

Belo News

August 4, 2012

Dr. Dave

Richland, Mi. - Reporting in from this years Shermanator, where several Minions competed, Belo News is proud to provide this report from Dr. Dave, hizzelf!

Shermanator 2012 was a huge success!  

Jim Mishler of Spirit Racing inc., the section coordinators (including the Minion Nations very own Ironman as bike route coordinator), and dozens of volunteers 

provided the 275 competitors with a great race experience.

Gracious sponsorship was provided by Minions from Team Zeigler Wellness Journey, Gallagher Uniforms and Bronson Orthopedics and Sports Medicine.  Aaron Zeigler, yet to be christened with another

name, rides regularly with the Minions on his black Cervelo Tri-bike.

Aaron put his skills to work earning a 5th place (35-39) despite throwing a chain.  No team mechanics on this course.  Podium finishers from the Nation include Pat Farrell #2 (45-50), Dr Dave #3 (45-50),

and Brent Sleezak #3 (55-60).  Hoosier Boy also looked strong and comfortable as he crossed the line in just over an hour.  

Boatman gets congratulations from Ironman!

I think it is safe to say that the athleticism, sportsmanship and style of the Minion Nation was represented well at the Shermanator 2012.   

Our Patron, the Sharkman, can be proud. (And he is!)

Along the course and at the post race festivities were spotted the likes of Hutch, Nike Boy, Pat Gallagher and Jim Patton.  Their encouragement was appreciated.

"Footnote" -  Hutch still holds the course record for the barefoot division.

Dr Dave

Editors Note - Thanks Dr. Dave, everyone did the mighty Minion Nation proud!)

SHARK WEEK ON DISCOVERY NETWORK! 

OH, THE HUMANITY

Belo News

August 12, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Get those DVR's ready, Bunkie!  Shark Week starts Sunday night, August 12, 2012 on the Discovery Network and runs all week at 9:00 p.m.

Sharkman's favorite week of TV!  

Who needs the Olympics when you have Shark Week!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Sharkman & Lava Girl at the Shed at the Barn Theater!

CHICO AND SQUEAKY’S BIG ADVENTURE!

DISQUALIFICATIONS STILL CONTROVERSIAL!

WHO’S GUILTY, WHO’S NOT?!


BLOODY 'ELL EXTRAVAGANZA IN ONE WEEK! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
August 4, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. – It was a week of controversy and confusion as the results of last week’s ride were being disputed by the miscreant Minions, and this week’s ride was mired in detours, new or not so new jersey’s and periodontal disease!  Is this a great country or what?

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman lay sleeping in his Shark Bed, snug in his shark pajama’s, stuffed shark toy safely under his arm.  He would awake soon and go on a breakfast ride with Lava Girl, and her sister and brother in law.  As he rode along talking to his brother in law and later downing his eggs, over easy with bacon and hash browns, he did wonder how his Minions were doing without their hero to lead them on what has come to be known as “Shermanator Saturday!” Later in the day, our hero took in "The Rocky Horror Show" at the Barn! Oh, the humanity!

However, ace reporters Stryker Guy and Gazelle Girl were on the case, to submit the following reports:

CHICO AND SQUEAKY’S BIG ADVENTURE!

Belo News
August 4, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - It was not going to be just another Saturday morning ride for the mighty Minion Nation.  The Shermanator, which caused one of the worst crashes in Minion history, was taking place.  Champs d’37th Avenue was torn up *(SG did a head first crash two days earlier on said road just to prove its danger).  AND our leader—Sharkman—was not there to lead the group.  Potential mayhem loomed at the Galesburg Middle School.  Fortunately, the Sharkman has taught the troops well and in a matter of minutes Danimal and B-Rod had a route figured out.  Gazelle Girl surprised the group by actually showing up at the meeting point before the Nation was ready to push off.

Seventeen strong left the parking lot, pedaled past the Klutch and waved to all three adoring fans.  B-Rod and Stryker Guy led the group up the first climb and soon gave way to, you guessed it, Tow Truck, who just doesn’t feel good unless he is out pulling the group along.  Several moves were made before the first sprint and ultimately Squeaky, adorned in a new (it looked kind of new) jersey took the first sprint.
All Black, who hasn’t worn black in at least two years, was up front for most of the first half of the ride and Danimal, who now seems to wear only black, was right there with him.  Two new(er) riders who will be known (until Sharkman officially christens them) as the Green Hornet and Kato (his wife) were very impressive throughout the ride.

Chico jumped into the lead after the Col de Twin Lakes and pushed the pace all the way to M-43.  The group rode around the lake and back down 35th to avoid the bad roads, triathlons and other obstacles.  I don’t believe any other sprints were hotly contested especially coming down 35th.  B-Rod informed the Nation that the average speed was 20.5 mph!  Not bad.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the entire ride was coffee at the Klutch. Gazelle Girl and Chico got into a deep discussion about periodontal disease and B-Rod held the rest of us captive with his VERY descriptive breakdown of “Pig Sticking” (killing wild boar with a dog and a knife). (Editor's Note - sorry we missed this!)

Fortunately, none of us had more than coffee at that point and managed to get back on our bikes for the ride home.

Respectfully submitted,

Stryker Guy

OH, THE HUMIDITY!

Belo News
August 4, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - We had a nice - albeit very humid - ride on Saturday. (Oh, the humidity!)
Since not a soul could honestly say they knew the southern route by heart, we wound up doing the usual course, but instead of turning left to head toward M-89 at the top of the bay, we went straight and came back the way we went out. Worked out great.

Hopefully another Minion writes in with a few more details about the ride. (I'm just not so good at remembering those things!)

(Editor’s Note – welcome to our world Gazelle Girl!)

Gazelle Girl

You won’t want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG when the Nation gets back to the regular course and Sharkman is also back before heading out to the U.S. Pro Challenge!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

DISQUALIFICATIONS BEING CONTESTED!

Belo News
August 1, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. – Immediately after last week’s Belo News went viral, appeals were quickly being registered with the Commissioner of Cycling, the Sharkman hizzelf!  It seemed that everyone was getting into the mix!

First, from Rainman who conveniently could not remember the finishing line up, though he was definitely one of the errant riders:

"Great write up! However, Rainman’s lawyers are formulating a defense!  Stay tuned….."

Then from the Chief culprit hizzelf, Ironman:

"Greetings Sharkman! 

I hope this finds you well.  I do apologize for the "incident".  I support the decision to be disqualified from the standings.  Does that mean I have to give back my prize money or forfeit any previous wins?  Will any sanctions be issued?  I might schedule a press conference before to help explain the controversy and ask for forgiveness from the Mighty Minions.  My press secretary is currently composing a speech."

(Editor’s Note – we can’t wait to hear that speech!)

After being told that Rainman was seeking legal counsel, Ironman responded;

"Seeking counsel from an Attorney??!!... some people just can't take criticism.  ha  I'm here to fall on my sword and ask the Mighty Minion board of trustees for reinstatement into the federation.  I can only ask for leniency when it comes to fines.  I'm not sure my wallet is as deep as U.S. Postal.. well, come to think of it, maybe it is." (Editor's Note - words of wisdom Rainman, words of wisdom...)

(Editor’s Note – Belo News is pretty sure a couple cups of koffee for Sharkman will make things right again…..)

Belo News also wants to apologize for incorrectly naming B-Rod as part of the runaway group, as well as Boatman.  Though it is still unclear who all the riders were, and there seems to be a “code of silence” among the miscreant Minions, B-Rod wrote back to Belo news that:

“I'm not sure who got second and third??? Sorry it wasn't me. l followed the rules and waited for the group.” 

But perhaps the final and best word came from the attached photograph that Gazelle Girls sent to Ironman after the release of Belo News:

The "Real Winner!"

BLOODY 'ELL  EXTRAVAGANZA  IN A WEEK! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
August 8, 2012

Richland, Mi. – Another Minion Extravaganza is in store for the Mighty Minion Nation!  Yep, as previously billed, the Bloody E’ll will be one ride/party/extravaganza that no Minion will want to miss! The reservations are coming in fast and furious!

DON'T FORGET TO RSVP NOW!

(Gazelle Girl at joan.o@comcast.net or 665-4555)

On August 18, 2012 the Nation will meet at the Zickman Estate for the Minion ride and will do a metric century (for the uninitiated that is 100 kilometers or 62 miles).

Zickman and Gazelle Girl will be leading this ride up to Hastings!  The ride will begin with Bloody Mary's on the beach ad then a ride up to Hastings where the Nation will have lunch at the Waldorf Brew Pub, then get back on their bikes to return to the Zickman Estate for more fine beer and/or possibly another bloody Mary!

Come on!  Beer AND a chance to see the Zickman Estate! Is this a great country or what?

So get ready for a great ride and a chance to actually see the Zickman’s lair!

Oh, the humanity!

Be there!

Sharkman & Durango Kid!

MINION RUNAWAY TRAIN!

MINION DISQUALIFICATIONS!*

GAZELLE GIRL TAKES FINISH!**

SHERMANATOR WEEKEND DETOUR?!

MAKE A WISH RIDE REPORT!

ANOTHER BLOODY 'ELL PARTY? OH, YEAH!

Belo News

July 21, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was taking his emptied garbage cans in on Friday afternoon (yes, our hero has to take his own garbage out and is, in fact, a Lava Girl Minion when he is at the Cove) he noticed Rainman pulling his garbage cans in (Tardette rules over there as well), recently emptied of diapers (it's not just a job, it's a dooty! That one never grows old!)

Rainman asked our hero if he was riding in the morning and after Sharkman acknowledged that indeed, he was, Rainman stated he was planning on riding as well.  

"I'll believe it when I see it…." thought our hero as he headed back into the Cove garage with the empty shark shaped garbage containers…..

Yet, as good as his word, as dawn broke bright over the Shark Cove on Saturday morning, there was the Rainman, though sleep deprived, along with Nikeboy and our Celebrity Rider from Colorado, the Durango Kid, all ready to ride!

Quite a large mob of Minions showed up for this weeks edition and even Kid Doster was making his return for the FIRST TIME this season!  Anyone, who was anyone was in attendance on another beautiful day for a ride on the Minions Field of dreams, the KK-TdG!

Squeaky meditating...sort of......

Squeaky was back and proclaimed he too, was sleep deprived, so he decided to lay down on the sidewalk to meditate and asked Sharkman to wake him up when the ride started.

Hoosier Boy arrived with a Starbucks Cup in his hand.  He would not comment on where he got the coffee or how he road from Portage with the hot cup in his hand or bottle cage…..but he was ready!

Even Yeti Boy was back to ride with his brother in law and celebrity rider, the Durango Kid!

In all, over 25 Minions answered the call as the Skipper started the Mighty Minion Nation up 

and headed past the Klutch, where Luann made her usual appearance to tell the Nation to ride safe!

Yeti Boy & Durango Kid

As the Nation headed north, Ironman jumped on and shortly after, the cheer of "Gazelle Girl" rang out as the legendary rider joined on to the Nation.

Sharkman, infused with the energy of having so many Minions in the peloton, flashed to the front with Squeaky (who was now fully awake) leading him out to the first honorary sprint.

Kid Doster returns!

Sharkman tried to do a count at the G Ave. crossing but lost count after 25 riders as it looked like close to 30 riders were riding on the train!

The Col de Twin Lakes was declared a neutral zone due to recent chip and seal, however, the Minions seemed to be in a particularly frisky mood as the Nation rambled up the hill chomping at the bit as they contested the sprint.

The run up the Col de No Name and past the Yorkville Church really got hot as the speed ramped up in the Country Club section with a major push up to the Rt. 43 sprint.

As the peloton came back together at the top of the Col de Norte, the Nation again picked up the speed considerabley through the Bible Conference hills as some riders took the cut off to the Inlet.

Due to the closing of 37th street between the Digital Divide and the GGG Spot, the route was detoured down the Inlet to 38th street and that is were, what has come to be known as, "The Runaway Train" Incident ...took place.

As the Nation got past the first couple of hills, the Pirate called out a flat tire.  As he began to work on the wheel, he instructed the Nation to go on and the Skipper graciously offered to stay back and ride the Pirate home after his wheel was repaired.  

This seemed to split the field up as they approached G Ave. and our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, began to lose control of the mass of riders descending on to G Ave….

As the faster and faster Minion train moved on to the hills of G, the entire peloton began to splinter.  Sharkman attempted to move to the front on G Ave. to remind the Nation to hold on when they got to 37th Street and wait, but it was to no avail as Ironman, Airman, Rainman, B-Rod among others, led a runaway train into a major lead on to 37th Street and never looked back! 

Oh, the shame!

As is tradition, the Nation waits at each Stop Sign so that no Minion is left behind, particularly for the finishing sprint.  Additionally, moving for a lead on G Ave. is problematic as it is not only a busy street, but riders can use on coming traffic as a block when making the left turn on to 37th Street, creating very dangerous conditions as riders try to catch on by cutting in front of on coming traffic.  

A break on G Ave. give some riders an unfair advantage!  Or so says our hero, the Sharkman!

As Sharkman made the turn, riders were well ahead and there was no way to stop them.  Sharkman tried to catch on and a new rider (actually his second week, name is Steve on a yellow/black Trek, very fast - Welcome Steve!) came up and attempted to pull our hero to the front, but the leaders were too far gone.  Carnage left in their wake, the Minions were blown to smithereens and with Sharkman completely disqualifying the lead riders, Ironman, Rainman,  and B-Rod. 

Though there were others, lucky for them Sharkman could not remember who they were!

Meanwhile, Gazelle Girl, who COMPLETELY  followed the rules, was awarded the win when she went around a completely depleted Sharkman and Steve, to take the win!  

Go Gazelle Girl!

Sharkman explaining the rules!

Sharkman recorded and average of 19.4 mph for the ride, which seemed a bit off, but the official race pace none the less!

The tofosi were confused on the Champs le Galesburg as they could not figure out what was happening with riders strewn along the roadway. 

Who won?  

Who lost? 

What in the hell was that?

Rainman, in an attempt to get in the good graces of the Sharkman, bought koffee for our hero, while the paparazzi  went wild trying to interview an ecstatic Gazelle Girl as she basked in her win!  

Meanwhile, Ironman and Airman attempted to explain their errant ways and how much fun it was, but Sharkman was having none of it!

The Commissioner of Cycling designated Gazelle Girl the Official Winner!

What will happen next week?

Will there be more controversy?  

Who knows?  The only way to find out is to be there!

* Disqualified Riders - Ironman, Boatman & B-Rod

** Gazelle Girl the real winner!

This Saturday, August 4, 2012

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Southern Route - Southern Route - Southern Route - (see next story)

SHERMANATOR WEEKEND - SOUTHERN ROUTE!

Belo News

August 4, 2012

Augusta, Mi. - This weekend is the infamous Shermanator Race and Belo News has learned that due to the closure of 37th street, the race will actually take place on even more parts of the KK-TdG course than normal.  The race will actually infringe on the beloved Minion Finish on 37th Street! Oh, the humanity! Additionally, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman will not be in attendance as he is entertaining in laws at the Shark Cove this weekend (oh, double the humanity!).  

Therefore, the Mighty Nation will need to do a southern route this weekend for their course.  

At press time, Belo News does not know who will lead the group, but the Commissioner of Cycling is asking that the Nation not ride on the normal KK-TdG field of dreams and head south for the morning.  

Belo News is concerned that the Nation will be without adult supervision with the Sharkman gone, but it is what it is!  

Besides, he couldn't control them last week, what makes anyone think he could do it this week?

It is also hoped that someone, anyone, will report the results to Belo News!

BLOODY E'LL 'UNDRD ANNOUNCED!

Another Party Extravaganza!

Belo News

August 18, 2012

Richland, Mi. -  Belo News is pleased to announce that Zickman and Gazelle Girl are planning another party for the Minion Nation! 

The invitation is as follows:

"A few years ago the Minions did a convenient stop at Zickman's garage to put some air into Gazelle Girl's weeping tire. Such a pleasant place, Zickman's pad... thus, as the Minions exited the estate Gazelle Girl was heard to say, "I think we should start a ride from here some day. We could have Bloody Mary's first and then ride a century!" And, at last, it is so. 

Please join us Saturday, August 18 for the "BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED" (a metric 'undred, that is). Details on the invite here!

MAKE A WISH RIDE REPORT

Stryker Guy & Hockey Boy do Nation proud!

Belo News

July 27-29, 2012

Reporter: Stryker Guy

Michigan Speedway, Mi. - Several of the Mighty Minion Nation rode the Make a Wish ride this past weekend.  This is a three day, 300 mile ride from Traverse City and this year ending at the Michigan International Speedway!

In addition to Iceman, who leads Team Taylor, more specifically, Stryker Guy, Hockey Boy, Bling Girl and Wildman took part in this great ride. We believe other Minions were also there!

Styker Guy reported in with the following:

Sharkman,

We attempted to represent the Minion Nation as well as possible.  Wildman was out there as well.  Three great days, although Friday’s rain was not much fun.  Hockey Boy once again dispelled the notion that one must put in some quality miles (or any miles) before doing something like this.  He killed it with some very good riders at an impressive pace.  His father hung on for dear life, but did not embarrass himself too much.  See you Saturday!

Stryker Guy

Thanks Stryker Guy and congratulations to all the WAM Riders for another outstanding showing!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

Belo News

July 31, 2012

Reporter: Rainman

Battle Creek, Mi. - Seven riders (All Black, Airman, Hoosier Boy, Chedderhead, Rainman, and celebrity riders Wrong Way, and Dutch), 25 mph NW wind gusts, 1 near record breaking (Strava) assent on G Ave, 1 wrong-turn by someone other than Wrong Way (hint: Dutch), 0 mechanicals, and 1 really fast assault (averaging 27 mph) on the second-half of Michigan Ave to the final stretch that yielded a 21.4 mph average.  Oh the humanity!

Great ride, Minions!  

If you looking for a great work out, come on out and ride!  Tuesday Nights, 6:00 p.m. from the Kellogg upper parking deck! Be there!