TOW TRUCK TAKES OPENING DAY!SHARKMAN GET’S KEY TO CITY!
THIS SATURDAY - ST. PADDY’S DAY RIDE!
Belo News
March 10, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. – Twas the night before Opening Day, and all through the Cove, not a creature was stirring not even the Sharkman, who was sound asleep, with visions of winning finishing sprints and drinking post ride Koffee at the Klutch dancing in his head!
As the shark alarm played the theme from Jaws (greatest shark movie EVER), our intrepid hero threw back the Shark Bed Spread and padded out of his fish bed in his shark pajamas to crank up the shark coffee maker! A quick peek out the Cove window revealed that a very sunny dawn was breaking on this long awaited day.
YES! Opening Day had finally arrived!
As the Sharkman, pulled out of the Shark Cove in his Sharkmovibe, the dashboard revealing a temperature of 28 degrees seemed to be mocking our intrepid hero as he worked his way to the start line. How could it have been 70 degrees on Wednesday and now down to 28 for Opening Day? Additionally, the wind was coming out of the southwest at over 20 mph and gusting to 30 mph!
Oh, the humanity!
However, our hero wasn’t complaining! The Sharkman was just happy to be back on the road with his beloved Mighty Minion Nation!
The old Shark was concerned however, that the email Update last week had quoted an inaccurate starting time of 9:30 P.M. and though he did get a couple of emails on the mistake, he was pretty sure that the Minion Nation was smart enough to figure that was an error, which was listed correctly in the Belo News.
The front parking lot at the school was full for a Little League Sign Up….. or was it the remnants from the Opening Day Parade and fireworks?
However, the Nation, being quick on their feet (after all, they knew to show up in the A.M. rather than the P.M.) moved to the side lot to gather before the hastily erected reviewing stand.
Some of the Minions were in their cars, trying to stay warm as our hero pulled into the start line. Twelve Minions showed up for the Opening Ceremony and included Bissell Boy, the Skipper, Rainman, Hossman, Brewman, Gazelle Girl (actually showing up at the start!), All Black, Chumbly, MC Hammer, and two new “Virgin Minions!” First timers Pat and Joe (aka’s to be determined) were ready to roll!
Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation Pat and Joe aka’s to be determined!
The excitement for the start began to build as the Mayor of Galesburg made his opening comments and gave the key to the city to the Sharkman hisself!
At exactly 9:30 A.M. – SHARP, the Skipper shouted out to the peloton to saddle up and as the bang of the opening gun went off, the sound of pedals clicking in was heard around Galesburg! Is there any sound sweeter on a Saturday morning than the sound of clicking in?
The 2012 Mighty Minion Nation Season had begun!
Is this a great country or what?!?
The Skipper led the riders past the Klutch where Luann came out to wave a “season hello” to the riders as they rifled by the throngs of two, maybe three, spectators shouted out “Minions-Minions” to the train of riders!
In the run up the Klutch the legendary Tow Truck latched on for his first ride with the Nation since is season ending shoulder injury last summer.
As the group moved north on 36th Street, the Cheetah jumped on and was cautioned by the Sharkman hisself not to get too frisky for Opening Day!
This didn’t seem to phase the Cheetah or Rainman as they decided to take the pace up a bit and led Sharkman out to his first sprint of the year, making him work incredibly hard this early in the season!
As the peloton headed east after the first G Ave. crossing, they could feel the strength of that southwest wind as the peloton began to splinter. As they approached the run up to the Col de Twin Lakes, Hossman, showing incredible early season form, shot out to take the sprint after the mountain climb! (It was rumored that his post race drug sample indicated traces of vodka and Pop Tarts and the second sample is undergoing further testing.)
With the wind at their backs, the Minion Nation was extremely social and seemed to be enjoying catching up with other riders on “what they did all winter.”
At the Col de Norte, the riders began their first, feeble attempt at a pace line. It seemed like no one wanted to play that game that early in the ride and it soon fell apart as the fast moving train headed through the Bible Conference Hills.
It was in the hills that Sharkman got spunky for the Frona Sprint and All Black, happy to be back on his favorite down hill, took the Inlet sprint going away.
Bissell Boy and Gazelle Girl tried to get the Nation to form up in a pace line after the Digital Divide and though it could be called a pace line in it’s most vague term the general concept of how a pace line worked seemed to elude the ranks.
After repeated attempts, a pace line did form, but Gazelle Girl stated that the exchanges were going in the wrong direction to protect the Nation from the wind. Asking the Minions to change direction was like asking Wolf King to stop eating Doritos. It just doesn’t work! What had been considered a pace line fell apart before the GGG crossing, where the riders formed up for the final assault to the finish.
As the Nation made the turn onto 37th Street, Sharkman made the comment that with Hossman AND the Tow Truck in attendance, they had the horse power (forgive the pun) to tow (forgive the second pun) into the ever strengthening wind and on to the finish.
Immediately, Hossman, like the Clydesdale he is, sprung to the front and performed a legendary pull to the hill just before the finish. Meanwhile, the Tow Truck sat on his wheel biding his time.
Hossman continued pulling the ever quicker train into head winds of 25 mph when Bissell Boy shouted from the pace line, “someone give that poor guy a break!”
Stepping up big time and with a couple of quick flicks of the pedals, Rainman took the cue and headed up, while Tow Truck continued biding his time, riding the wheel of the forging Hossman.
As the Nation crested the final hill the pace line started to come apart and Rainman and Hossman, tired from the pull, backed off the front.
That is when the Tow Truck made his move! Shooting out from behind Hossman, Sharkman attempted to latch on to Tow Trucks wheel, feeling it was too early for the move and hoping he might be able to hang on and take him at the finish.
All Black was thinking the same thing as he latched on to Sharkman’s dorsal and the three broke away from the peloton.
But Sharkman’s move was a bit too late and not quite strong enough as he could not catch on to the Tow Truck to close the ever increasing gap, while All Black was playing the Shark like a banjo. All Black went by a fading Shark and nailed him at the finish to take second place.
The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Mighty Minion Nation rode to the Klutch. The paparazzi were waiting as the riders stormed into the Klutch, where Bissell Boy bought a large percentage of the koffee for the Minions.
As the shark alarm played the theme from Jaws (greatest shark movie EVER), our intrepid hero threw back the Shark Bed Spread and padded out of his fish bed in his shark pajamas to crank up the shark coffee maker! A quick peek out the Cove window revealed that a very sunny dawn was breaking on this long awaited day.
YES! Opening Day had finally arrived!
As the Sharkman, pulled out of the Shark Cove in his Sharkmovibe, the dashboard revealing a temperature of 28 degrees seemed to be mocking our intrepid hero as he worked his way to the start line. How could it have been 70 degrees on Wednesday and now down to 28 for Opening Day? Additionally, the wind was coming out of the southwest at over 20 mph and gusting to 30 mph!
Oh, the humanity!
However, our hero wasn’t complaining! The Sharkman was just happy to be back on the road with his beloved Mighty Minion Nation!
The old Shark was concerned however, that the email Update last week had quoted an inaccurate starting time of 9:30 P.M. and though he did get a couple of emails on the mistake, he was pretty sure that the Minion Nation was smart enough to figure that was an error, which was listed correctly in the Belo News.
The front parking lot at the school was full for a Little League Sign Up….. or was it the remnants from the Opening Day Parade and fireworks?
However, the Nation, being quick on their feet (after all, they knew to show up in the A.M. rather than the P.M.) moved to the side lot to gather before the hastily erected reviewing stand.
Some of the Minions were in their cars, trying to stay warm as our hero pulled into the start line. Twelve Minions showed up for the Opening Ceremony and included Bissell Boy, the Skipper, Rainman, Hossman, Brewman, Gazelle Girl (actually showing up at the start!), All Black, Chumbly, MC Hammer, and two new “Virgin Minions!” First timers Pat and Joe (aka’s to be determined) were ready to roll!
Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation Pat and Joe aka’s to be determined!
The excitement for the start began to build as the Mayor of Galesburg made his opening comments and gave the key to the city to the Sharkman hisself!
At exactly 9:30 A.M. – SHARP, the Skipper shouted out to the peloton to saddle up and as the bang of the opening gun went off, the sound of pedals clicking in was heard around Galesburg! Is there any sound sweeter on a Saturday morning than the sound of clicking in?
The 2012 Mighty Minion Nation Season had begun!
Is this a great country or what?!?
The Skipper led the riders past the Klutch where Luann came out to wave a “season hello” to the riders as they rifled by the throngs of two, maybe three, spectators shouted out “Minions-Minions” to the train of riders!
In the run up the Klutch the legendary Tow Truck latched on for his first ride with the Nation since is season ending shoulder injury last summer.
As the group moved north on 36th Street, the Cheetah jumped on and was cautioned by the Sharkman hisself not to get too frisky for Opening Day!
This didn’t seem to phase the Cheetah or Rainman as they decided to take the pace up a bit and led Sharkman out to his first sprint of the year, making him work incredibly hard this early in the season!
As the peloton headed east after the first G Ave. crossing, they could feel the strength of that southwest wind as the peloton began to splinter. As they approached the run up to the Col de Twin Lakes, Hossman, showing incredible early season form, shot out to take the sprint after the mountain climb! (It was rumored that his post race drug sample indicated traces of vodka and Pop Tarts and the second sample is undergoing further testing.)
With the wind at their backs, the Minion Nation was extremely social and seemed to be enjoying catching up with other riders on “what they did all winter.”
At the Col de Norte, the riders began their first, feeble attempt at a pace line. It seemed like no one wanted to play that game that early in the ride and it soon fell apart as the fast moving train headed through the Bible Conference Hills.
It was in the hills that Sharkman got spunky for the Frona Sprint and All Black, happy to be back on his favorite down hill, took the Inlet sprint going away.
Bissell Boy and Gazelle Girl tried to get the Nation to form up in a pace line after the Digital Divide and though it could be called a pace line in it’s most vague term the general concept of how a pace line worked seemed to elude the ranks.
After repeated attempts, a pace line did form, but Gazelle Girl stated that the exchanges were going in the wrong direction to protect the Nation from the wind. Asking the Minions to change direction was like asking Wolf King to stop eating Doritos. It just doesn’t work! What had been considered a pace line fell apart before the GGG crossing, where the riders formed up for the final assault to the finish.
As the Nation made the turn onto 37th Street, Sharkman made the comment that with Hossman AND the Tow Truck in attendance, they had the horse power (forgive the pun) to tow (forgive the second pun) into the ever strengthening wind and on to the finish.
Immediately, Hossman, like the Clydesdale he is, sprung to the front and performed a legendary pull to the hill just before the finish. Meanwhile, the Tow Truck sat on his wheel biding his time.
Hossman continued pulling the ever quicker train into head winds of 25 mph when Bissell Boy shouted from the pace line, “someone give that poor guy a break!”
Stepping up big time and with a couple of quick flicks of the pedals, Rainman took the cue and headed up, while Tow Truck continued biding his time, riding the wheel of the forging Hossman.
As the Nation crested the final hill the pace line started to come apart and Rainman and Hossman, tired from the pull, backed off the front.
That is when the Tow Truck made his move! Shooting out from behind Hossman, Sharkman attempted to latch on to Tow Trucks wheel, feeling it was too early for the move and hoping he might be able to hang on and take him at the finish.
All Black was thinking the same thing as he latched on to Sharkman’s dorsal and the three broke away from the peloton.
But Sharkman’s move was a bit too late and not quite strong enough as he could not catch on to the Tow Truck to close the ever increasing gap, while All Black was playing the Shark like a banjo. All Black went by a fading Shark and nailed him at the finish to take second place.
The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Mighty Minion Nation rode to the Klutch. The paparazzi were waiting as the riders stormed into the Klutch, where Bissell Boy bought a large percentage of the koffee for the Minions.
The Tofosi went wild as Luann poured the dark roast and the riders warmed their hands and feet. The Skipper and Sharkman gave a seminar on the effects of microbrew’s on the hill climbing.
You won’t want to miss next week’s edition of the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!
The weather is forecasted to be pretty warm so the time will stay at 9:30 A.M. despite going to daylight savings time.
Saturday, March 17 – St. Paddy’s Day!
Riders should wear their most Irish looking jerseys!
Or at least something green!
Launch Time – 9:30 A.M. – SHARP!
U.S. WEATHER SERVICE LAUNCHES INVESTIGATION!
Belo News
March 10, 2012
Washington, D.C. – The National Weather Service has announced that an investigation has been launched into the weather phenomena that has come to be known as “Mighty Minion Nation Opening Day.” For the seventh Mighty Minion Nation Opening Day in a row, the second Saturday in March has produced sunny, near perfect weather for this event. (yes, we know we are probably jinxing next year, but what a great way to start the season!)
This investigation will also delve into the second phenomena now known as “the Rainman actually showed up when the temperature was below 65 degrees!”
Talk about odd phenomena…….
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