HUGE ST. PADDY’S DAY TURNOUT!

BOFFO THE CLOWN SIGHTING!

YETI BOY REPORTS FROM MEXICO!

MEMBERSHIP DISCOUNTS AT THE YMCA?

Belo News
March 17, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. – What a difference a week makes! Or was it the weather? Or was it the weather AND the fact that kids soccer has not started yet?

Does it even matter? This weather has been unbelievable and the Minions are going to enjoy it while they can! As Michiganders, Minions all know this weather may not last!

The BN reporters on the scene Saturday actually lost count of the riders after 25 of them lined up for the start and at least 3 more joined on during the ride! Several attempts to get a full count proved fruitless as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, desperately attempted to keep track of all his beloved Minions.

It was like old home week for the KK-TdG!

When the Sharkman opened the garage door at the Cove, he was greeted by Stingray and Nikeboy who were joining him for the ride over in the 65+ degree weather and as they launched, Rainman was coming out of his driveway in the Cove! As the four riders approached the start, they were surprised to see the mass of riders unloading their cars and riding into the start!

Oh the humanity!

Riders that had not been seen in some time, like Sooner, Peugeot Guy, Wildman, Luke Skywalker and Cyclocross and others (always dangerous to list names, as we may be forgetting someone, but what the heck…..) were at the start and ready to romp. However, the surprise of the morning was the return of that irascible clown of the peloton, Boffo!

Boffo the Clown?

Yes, Boffo the Clown, fresh off the Russian Bear Wrestling circuit, was back in the peloton and talking trash! (See photo). Several Minions commented it was good to hear that diabolical laugh in the peloton once again!

Boffo was quoted as saying that since it was above 50 degrees, after 9am and pre-soccer, his wife had told him that he would have absolutely zero excuses to not ride and would therefore begin to refer to him as a non-minion or boffette (not to be confused with W Buffett, or buffet--maybe more appropriate) if he did not ride.

Whoa, way to go Mrs. Boffo!

In celebration, many Minions were “wearing the green” in honor of St. Paddy’s Day. Zickman actually showed up with a green lay and green jewelry, while Sharkman had an actual Irish National jersey he got from Stryker Guy! (Stryker Guy doesn’t even show and he gets ink in the Blog!)

After the photo opportunity, the mass of Minions headed through town and as Luann gave her usual wave out the door, you could see the concern on her face as she pondered whether all those Minions would fit into the Klutch post ride!

As the Minion Nation moved north on 36th St., Gazelle Girl approached in her customary fashion to a loud shout of “Gazelle Girl!” from the peloton.

Peugeot Guy and Sooner were leading out the Sharkman to the front and to show respect to the honor of being given the first sprint, Sharkman jumped to the front. However, a Minion, who apparently was not thinking, decided to steal the sprint at the line to shouts of “Death to the Infidel!” and “A thousand years bad luck!” from the Nation.

This rider has now rendered himself “persona non Grata” for at least two editions of the Belo News.

Despite the dis, the Sharkman rifled ahead to G Ave. to attempt to count Minions and make sure everyone was on board, but it was useless as riders came and went along the ride.

The pace was incredible for the early season. The Opening Day ride average pace was clocked at 16.3 mph, and though it was hard to tell if it was the size of the peloton, the weather or both, the finishing pace for this weeks jaunt around Gull Lake averaged 19 mph!

The Minions got particularly spunky in both the Country Club and Bible conference hills sections and continued to take the pace up as they circled Gull Lake.

After the Digital Divide, a very nice, long pace line formed up and Sharkman commented at the press conference that the line was so long he never made it to the front before getting to the GGG crossing (this may have had more to do with his liking to sit in these days!).

With both Hossman and Tow Truck moving to the front of the Mighty Minion Train on 37th St. it was assumed that the riders would be stretched out, but it was not to be. Another pace line formed up as the train bore down on the finish at the High School!

It ended up being a mad dash to the finishing line and the son of Brewman, the now famous Brewboy, took the sprint going away! When told it was traditional for the winner to buy everyone koffee at the klutch, Brewman stated that he was pretty sure Brewboy had forgotten his wallet! A ploy that Sharkman is famous for…….

The tofosi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our heroes made their way to the Klutch, zipping up their jersey’s for the sponsors. In addition to it being a record early season ride attendance, it also seem like almost all the riders stopped for the post race press conference and for the kup of joe!

Mayhem ensued at the Klutch as the mob of riders entered the Kaffee. The local patron’s began making a hasty retreat to make room for the riders and the paparazzi as it was hard to hear people talk with all the noise in the Klutch.

Both Brewman AND Rainman bought Sharkman his koffee and we are not sure how that worked, but they both get their names in the blog anyway! But don’t worry, Sharkman told Belo News “it will be a long season and everyone will get a chance to buy him koffee!”

During the Press Conference the famous Tardette made an appearance to sign autographs and talk about the impending birth of the Raindrop! She was greeted with a huge cheer from the Nation as she walked in the door!

The Minions didn’t seem to want to leave as it seemed like mid summer at the Klutch!

Is this a great country or what?

The weather looks like it will stick around a bit longer and with kid’s soccer not starting till April, it could be another great turn out this Saturday, weather permitting!

So you won’t want to miss the next adventure!

Saturday – March 24, 2010

Launch Time – 9:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!


NIKEBOY TO HEAD YMCA! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
March 15, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. – Our own Nikeboy has been appointed the new Director of the Battle Creek YMCA! Now we want to know if Minions get a discount on membership?

Obviously, this is what happens when you hang with the Mighty Minion Nation!

Congratulations to Nikeboy from the Nation!

http://www.battlecreekenquirer.com/article/20120314/NEWS01/303140029/Adam-Dingwall-appointed-interim-CEO-Battle-Creek-YMCA


STORIES FROM MEXICO!

SPECIAL REPORT

Belo New Special Report
March 16, 2012
Reporter: Yeti Boy

San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

Story #1

The Face Plant

Last year when in San Miguel I hooked up with a guy and did a mountain bike tour. He told me that if I came back he would rent me a bike for the month. Never being one to pass up a deal one of the first things I did was go get my bike. He is almost out of that business because of the popularity of 4 wheelers now with tourists. It turns out that just around the corner is a bike shop owned by a young man and frequented by his girl friend among other young hyper thyroid types. He has good number of full suspension bikes in his inventory and is a really nice young man. The other day I was in there and he suggested that on Friday he was going to conduct a tour of the country side and I was invited to attend. He said there would be some other "Americans along too and that we would not be going fast". The part about going fast I knew was BS since anyone who knows about mountain bikes knows there is no such thing as slow....not being very smart I figured if there were Gringos as a part of this I could hang. When I got there he, his girl friend and his buddy were there and no pale faces in sight. When I asked he said, "I don't know what happened to them but don't worry we won't go fast (there it is again). They had their high end bikes painted with letters that said, "San Miguel race club" and had on team jerseys". When we took off through the city I was staying in line pretty well but my heart rate was about at max (165) and I was not gaining ground. We shot through the city to the first of the gravel tracks and it was a blast. High speed dips, smooth and not too technical. We rode for about 10 minutes and came to a paved road. They turned up the volume (remember we are at 6000 feet) and I started to drop back some. They waited for only a minute as we left the road for the first of the climbs...gravel with stones as big as softballs and very steep. We climbed for about 10 minutes where they again waited for me to catch up and wait for my heart to come back into my chest. At that point they asked me how old I was. When I said 63 their beautiful tan faces drained, turned white and they began to speak rapidly in Spanish. To bolster me since they knew at this point they were stuck with me they said, "If we live that long we sure hope we can ride like you do". Nice sentiment but little comfort I am afraid. We continued to climb and descend for about 40 minutes. The descents were mind boggling with huge rocks and no ability to brake since the ground was so soft. I saw the lead rider drop off a ledge and decided that "If he can do it...."

The next thing I knew I was over the handle bars and a total face plant on rock. My helmet saved my head but my knees were not so lucky. (see photo) When we left the "easy sections" for the next mountain I made one more climb but when I could no longer see through the blue spots I called it quits. I waved good bye and promptly got lost, had to ford a knee deep river, got a flat, fixed the flat, got attacked by 4 dogs, two of whom were as big as me and limped home in time to get to the pharmacy and buy medicine.

She said "Put this on your knees and your face."

MY FACE?

Will I be scared for life....do I have a concussion, will I make it through to the next ride? When I stopped in to the bike store to report in he said "I can't wait to take you next week on Friday, we will go slow". Nancy has had me fitted for a dog collar and is threatening to stake me out next Friday.

It is said that "Adventure is tragedy closely avoided". SMA...wow.

Story #2

In the hands of God

Better told in person but briefly I went on a 28 K out and back on a rutted old two track. On the way I met an old man and a donkey. They looked so hot and thirsty I gave him my water. He asked God for a blessing on me and on I went.

I decided to shoot down the mountain on a donkey trail to get to a town in the valley and strike off for home from there instead of just turning around. It was full of cactus, very hot and dry but a fast and a beautiful ride. I got back on black top about a mile from my town and heard a clicking in my front tire. I was not happy but at that point I thought it best to leave it alone. In town the tire went totally flat. The pump did nothing and I had no spare and no patch kit. I went to the square, the site of a very important Church in Mexican history, to decide what to do next. I frankly had no clue other than to walk 15K back to town. When I surveyed the area with the Church to my back I saw a Mexican family on the other side of the street, dressed in bike clothes, riding mountain bikes. Keep in mind, I have ridden every day and have never seen a scene like that. I asked them if they had a patch kit and they immediately pulled out a patch kit, pump and got to work on the tube. 4 holes and over a 1/2 hour later I was back on my way. They would accept only thanks and hugs for their efforts. It is seldom that I have felt myself so settled in the palm of God's hand. One wonders if God really cares about flat tires but I am here to tell you that there was a warm glow on that ride home.

(Editors Note – Great stories, Yeti Boy, keep’em coming!)


ALFRED E. BIKE ANNUAL SPRING SALE THIS WEEKEND!

Belo News
March 23-26, 2012

Kalamazoo, Mi. – Yes, this Friday through Monday is the famous Alfred E. Bike Spring Sale! This is another one of those bike events the Minions will not want to miss! Great deals on all things cycling and though you may not need it now, spring is a great time to buy winter stuff! It is all on sale!

Be there!