RAINMAN RESPONDS!REPORTS FROM PARIS!
SHARK WEEK IS COMING!
Belo News
July 23, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – As dawn broke wet over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero was slow to rise as he had picked up Lava Girl at the Detroit Airport and did not get back to the Cove and into his Shark pajama’s until after midnight. As he rolled over to turn off the shark alarm, he heard thunder and saw the flash of lightening!
Bounding from bed, he clicked on the shark radar and noted the mass of green, yellow and even red, glowing over western Michigan as far as Lake Michigan and covering his beloved Field of Dreams. Our hero went back to bed until 6:30 a.m. when he went through the routine once more. The radar was still showing major rain, while he could hear the pounding rain and lightening on the roof of the Cove. It was therefore decided to post at Belo News that the ride would be cancelled.
Around 6:45 a.m. All Black called and Sharkman told him he wasn’t riding. As we all know, nothing brings fear to the heart of the old shark like lightening…..
However, at 8:05 a.m. our hero received a text message from Wolf King that simply said, “Sissy.”
Wait, what? Sharkman went out to get the paper and it was still raining at 8:00 a.m., though the lightening and thunder had abated. Could someone have ridden? Minions all know that the Sharkman will ride in the rain, but will not start in the rain.
Later, the above photo appeared proving someone was at the Klutch! And the Klutch looked empty!
It seemed that Wolf King, Jeff G. (name to be determined) Peugeot Guy, Squeaky and another rider, whose name no one could remember but rides a white KHS, had actually arrived….. and rode! (Our apologies to this rider, just let us know who you are and we will post it next week).
Though it was reportedly a bit wet at the start, the ride dried out as it went on and the 5 riders made a successful traverse of the KK-TdG. No one reported who won, how fast they rode or provided any proof that they had indeed ridden and didn’t just go to the Klutch for a Kup.
Meanwhile, the Koffee Klutch took a major profit hit without the mass of Minions stopping in for their normal Koffee fix, with assorted muffins, buns and rolls.
The Mighty Minion Nation will have to make up for that this week!
It was also later learned that Tow Truck had a family reunion going on last weekend and had planned to bring an entire “sprint crew” from Team Miller to wreak havoc on the peloton. Planning to take every sprint and the final dash to the tape, Tow Truck was quoted as staying, “darn!” when he saw the morning storm. Lucky for the Mighty Minion Nation!
Unfortunately, the Sharkman will be absent the next two weeks as he attends a wedding this week and then is out to see the latest Sharklet addition and attend the Sharklet’s Baptisms in Santa Fe! Yes, a double header Baptism!
But the ride goes on!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Be There!
RAINMAN BAILS ON THE MINIONS, CREATES DOMINO EFFECT AMONG THE NATION:
Belo News
July 16, 2011
(Editors Note – Rainman attempts to defends his (and Tardettes) absence a week ago after a Wine Tasting Fund Raiser at Binder Park Zoo)
Battle Creek, MI. - Wrong Way and Rainman had the same idea, to ride in, but when the alarm rang at 6:20am at their separate coves, the festivities the evening before were felt like the weight of an elephant at the Africa exhibit!
Belo News reports that Rainman walked around for nearly 20 minutes doing a system-check and deciding if Rainman’s body was ready for a 50+ mile punishment after little recovery. Reports further claim that Rainman answered Rainman’s own condition-check and bailed first over a text exchange with Wrong Way. Wrong Way, responded, calling the stage race a truce (editors note: before rubber ever hit the road!) and later admitted that he was quietly thankful that Rainman had announced a partial rest day.
…Meanwhile, Tardette made no motion, or showed no motivation, what-so-ever. Her promise to Sharkman to meet up for Koffee after the ride was as empty as her tasting glass Friday evening. Tardette had ‘no comment’ when approached about the subject.
Will these Mighty Minions [ever] return to the peloton?
Stay tuned, Bunkie!
(Editors Note – Hey, is Rainman making fun of the Editors of Belo News?)
REPORT FROM PARIS!
BISSELL BOY CHECKS IN!
Belo News
July 24, 2011
Paris, France – Our own Bissell Boy and family were at the finish of this years Tour de France and got close enough to get photos of both the winner, Cadel Evans, as well as Garmin-Cervelo Coach Jonathan Vaughters! Where else can you get in-depth reporting like this? Is this great reporting or what?
Bissell Boy and Family reported having a fantastic time as they took in the sights of Paris and the phenomenal experience of the Tour on the Champs-Élysées! Can it get any better? (Well yes, if they could get an Oberon!)
And who wasn’t moved by watching the first Australian a top the podium, the flag of his country wrapped around him and a tear in his eye as they played the Australian National Anthem! And having brothers both finish on the podium? And no matter how you feel about Cavendish, it was a Tour of firsts! First Australian to win it, first time two brothers finished on the podium and first time a Brit has won the Green Sprinters Jersey!
It was a great Tour and seeing Evans win it in the Time Trial on Saturday was incredible drama! Is this a great sport or what?
Big thanks to Bissell Boy for his photos and in-depth reporting from the scene!
Bissell Boy and Family!
And, if you are going through TdF withdrawals like our friend Stingray, well, it is time for:
SHARK WEEK JULY 31, 2001
That’s right, Bunkie! That week that every member of the Mighty Minion Nation waits for EVERY year is finally here! It is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel and it all starts this Sunday, July 31, 2011!
And Whitsun is still in season!
Is this a Minion time of year or what?!?
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/shark-week-2011-videos/#icpgn=vvdsc
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Belo News
July 26, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – Eight riders showed up for this weeks edition of the Tuesday night ride and one would have thought it was Tony the Tiger Jersey night, as three of the riders had a Kellogg Jersey on. All Black, Hoosier Boy, Stingray, Rainman (not in a white jersey, still mourning the loss by his alter-ego Andy Schleck) and the Sharkman launched from the HQ start. They were first met by Hossman, then Boatman and finally the Skipper by the time they got to Augusta. Working in a very tight pace line, our hero’s hammered to a 20.5 average for the entire ride. These Minions can fly!
If you are looking for good pace line riding, this is the ride for you! Next week, the ride will launch from the Visitor Lot in the front of Kellogg HQ as the Upper Deck Parking is being resurfaced.
6:00 P.M. Launch! – Sharp! Be there!
GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE WAM RIDERS AND TEAM TAYLOR THIS WEEKEND!
SHARK WEEK JULY 31, 2001
That’s right, Bunkie! That week that every member of the Mighty Minion Nation waits for EVERY year is finally here! It is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel and it all starts this Sunday, July 31, 2011!
And Whitsun is still in season!
Is this a Minion time of year or what?!?
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/shark-week-2011-videos/#icpgn=vvdsc
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Belo News
July 26, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – Eight riders showed up for this weeks edition of the Tuesday night ride and one would have thought it was Tony the Tiger Jersey night, as three of the riders had a Kellogg Jersey on. All Black, Hoosier Boy, Stingray, Rainman (not in a white jersey, still mourning the loss by his alter-ego Andy Schleck) and the Sharkman launched from the HQ start. They were first met by Hossman, then Boatman and finally the Skipper by the time they got to Augusta. Working in a very tight pace line, our hero’s hammered to a 20.5 average for the entire ride. These Minions can fly!
If you are looking for good pace line riding, this is the ride for you! Next week, the ride will launch from the Visitor Lot in the front of Kellogg HQ as the Upper Deck Parking is being resurfaced.
6:00 P.M. Launch! – Sharp! Be there!
GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE WAM RIDERS AND TEAM TAYLOR THIS WEEKEND!
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Dear Belo News,
I thought you might like to run this as a "Quote of the Week":
“As you know…..the physical shadow I cast is pretty small, but the shadow my legend casts is immeasurable!”
The Sharkman
I thought all super-heroes were humble characters, but this Sharkman, well, he's just a character.
Signed,
A loyal Minion
Dear Loyal Minion (Stingray),
This quote came during preparation for a very hot ride. Stingray asked if the Sharkman cast a good shadow for shade and that was his answer. Another famous Sharkman quote;
“You don’t need to believe everything you hear, but you do need to believe everything you say!”
The Sharkman
And yes, our Sharkman believes what he says…..
And yes, our hero, the Sharkman, is a real character!
The Editor
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