RECORD TURN OUT FOR BEER JERSEY/4th HOLIDAY DOUBLE HEADER EXTRAVAGANZA!
WHERE WAS GAZELLE GIRL?
THE RETURN OF QMAN!
Belo News
July 5, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Where do we begin! Not only has the Minion Nation been experiencing record turn outs, route changes, Jersey Day’s, encounters with other events on the field of dreams known as the KK-TdG, but the Tour has started and an American won on the 4th of July!
For Shark Minions, this has got to be the best time of the year!
Warm temps, sunshine, big turn outs, then you get home and you have the Tour de France 24/7!
Is this a great country or what?
Go Tyler Ferrar! And to have George Hincapie as a lead out man! Whoa!
In addition to all that has been happening, the peloton has seen some faces they’ve not seen in a while! Including none other than Wolf King, making his season debut and whose photo you may recognize decked out in his signature crash dummy orange jersey perched on the back of his minivan (or should we say Daddyvan?). And he was on time!
Sooner has made the call on a couple of occasions but has only been able to ride to the first sprint before heading back home for Dad Duties. Another long lost Minion who has returned the past two weeks is Peugeot Guy! Even Yeti Boy returned, brining a new rider, the California Kid along to take part in the B Group! Jamis Girl from last season was also back. Welcome new and returning Minions!
So here we go!
June 25, 2011 Ride Report:
At the beginning of the ride, Sharkman announced that the opening sprint was open for competition as he no longer wanted to work that hard so early in the morning. However, after the Skipper got the train moving and the peloton snaked its way past the Klutch and north, no one would take the honorary sprint in honor of our hero and the Patron of the Peloton was forced to push to the front to take the sprint. Sharkman was quoted later that he was unsure as to whether he should be deeply humbled by the great honor, or if he should be upset that the Minions enjoy watching him work so hard on that first sprint. Actually, the Belo News Staff thinks it is because Minions still want to get their names in the blog for leading our intrepid hero out. The count was again, difficult to pin down but it was estimated at plus 26. It is not only getting more difficult to count riders, it is also difficult to keep track of them on the ride.
Gazelle Girl was conspicuously absent on that weekend and though the Minions were ready to greet her, it was not to be…… and more on the “Party Girl” later.
The podium was filled out by Falcon, Zickman and Flash Gordon, while Danimal took first in what has come to be known as the Tour de Toilet. (You’ll have to ask him about that one, but it does involve numerous bathroom stops and a very serpentine route…..). Suffice it to say he was seen at the start and at the finish of the ride.
The pace on the day was 19.7 mph.
The tofosi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as a large number of Minions headed to the Klutch.
Sharkman had to cut the press conference short as he had to drive to Chicago later that day and from that point on our hero has been lost in a whirlwind of activity for the past two weeks! (Hence, no blog last week!)
July 2, 2011 Ride Report:
In preparation for the gala twin bill for the holiday, Belo News started getting emails from Minions warning of the return of the Gull Lake Triathlon on Saturday, July 2. Apparently the Gull Lake Tri officials did not confer with the Minion Commissioner of Cycling before setting the race on the same course as the KK-TdG! It is hard to believe that the Gull Lake Triathlon had last been run 17 years ago!
One of the notes came from our own Squeaky who stated that the Mighty Minion Nation needed to beware of old ladies and him on the course!
Apparently Squeaky does tri’s? Who knew?
We don’t know about our readers, but we here at Belo News find the thought of Squeaky in a spandex wet suit just a bit unsettling! Well, at least there are more places for him to put that bicycle pump, eh?
Saturday dawned bright over the Cove and as Nikeboy and Sharkman headed over to the start, the Great Dane joined on for the ride wearing a Dos Equis Beer Jersey. Interestingly, Dos Equis took second in the Beer Jersey Competition as Falcon also had the very same jersey on!
“Stay thirsty my friend!”
However, Oberon won again with approximately 7 Jersey’s. (Makes us thirsty just thinking about it). There was also a Harrycremepie Jersey but we have no idea what that is!? You'll have to ask Gazelle Girl!
Chico showed up wearing a Miller Industry (not the beer) Team Jersey instead of his signature Mexican jersey and no one recognized him in the new kit.
Twenty nine Minions plus were ready to ride as a great debate broke out on the course. It was decided that in deference to the triathlon and in fear of seeing Squeaky in a wet suit, or one of those special tri helmets, the Mighty Minion Nation decided to ride up to Hickory Corners and return by 40th Street.
To the sound of pedals clicking in, the massive peloton rode past the Klutch where Jamie came out and counted the crowd, hoping she had enough koffee for their return.
As the Nation moved north, Gazelle Girl joined on with a shout from her admiring Minions!
Again, the peloton would not contest the first sprint and our intrepid hero, the Sharkman humbly took it to the cheers of the Nation. You gotta love those Minions!
The Cheetah was on board and he brought the pace up pretty good with another new Stryker rider as the Minions attacked the col de Twin Lakes. During the Country Club section, the B Group joined on, having taken the by-pass, and the race was on to the Route 43 sprint where Sharkman reminded everyone that the group would be going up to the Gilmore Museum and then return on 40th Street. Someone mentioned that 40th had been chipped and sealed and could be a problem. This created a major disagreement on what route to take, but the Nation forged on anyway.
When the Nation got to Hickory Corners, it was learned the Triathlon was on 40th and that they would have to double back and return on the west side of the lake, adding about 4 miles to the total ride.
The pace was torrid as the Nation headed south!
A pace line formed up and a rider, who was visiting from Missouri who was simply huge, jumped in for the finish.
Sharkman took one look up at the giant and jumped on his wheel like a kitten on catnip!
He described it as though there was a full eclipse of the sun!
Sharkman, learning from riding the wheel of the big Swede just weeks before, was looking for that Star Trek experience again…..and he got it! This guy’s rear wheel looked like the slick tire on a Harley Chopper! He described the wake as being in a time warp where everything got silent and blurry!
Other riders who tried to grab the giant’s wheel had to back off when they heard the Sharkman growl at them. Sort of like a dog on a bone…..
Race monitoring technology revealed that Sharkman’s heart rate dropped to the low 60’s!
As they bore down on the finish, the big Missourian put it into another gear, leaving the old Shark smiling in his wake, to contest the final.
The rest is just a blur and we only know that the Falcon won the final sprint and the Missouri Giant was right behind him. Such a large shadow covered the rest of the field that we could not determine any other finishers. Of course, the Missouri Giant was DQed for not joining in until the end of the ride, and we have no idea who the other podium finishers were.
Qman Returns!The Klutch was rocking after the ride, as a large number of riders were greeted by none other than the Qman himself! Yes, the Qman had made a guest appearance to sign autographs and say hello to all his fans while visiting family in the area. He had driven in from Minnesota the previous night and hadn’t gotten to bed until after 2:00 A.M. so there was no way he could make the early call. Welcome back, Qman!
July 4, 2011 Ride Report:
Happy Birthday America!
Yes, it was red, white and blue Day for the 4th of July Minion Stampede! 19 riders showed up for the gala ride, many in their very best red, white and blue kit. Of course Chico, who must not be reading the blog, showed up in his signature Mexican jersey. Who knew it was Mexican Independence Day too?
After a major discussion at the start, it was determined that the peloton would head south for a change of pace and to take the Sharkman “Mystery Tour” that included waterfalls, dams, chip and seal, the City of Scott, as well as miles of farm land and adventure. As a matter of fact, Wildman mentioned that if you took a picture of the peloton out on those roads it would be hard to differentiate them from the peloton at the Tour de France!
It was one of those simply beautiful Michigan Summer Days as the Nation gathered up in the parking lot. At 2 minutes before launch time, it did not appear that any other Minions would be joining on and as the clock hit 7:59 A.M. the Skipper got things rolling. Apparently, this was at LEAST 2 minutes before Falcon’s time and a bit early for Wildman, but apparently some Minions took exception to the early start.
Skipper and Pirate lead the Independence Day Parade through Galesburg and past the closed Klutch and then headed south to the famous Qman Hill named after an epic battle between Wolf King and Qman in years past.
At the top of the hill, Sharkman thought everyone was on and the Minions took off again. A few miles later, Wildman latched back on and stated a couple of Minions were still coming. It was then that Sharkman heard from Falcon about the early launch. He had to double time to catch on to the rambling herd. Yes, 8:00 A.M. Sharp, does mean 8:00 A.M. but to be sure, you better be READY to launch at 8:00 A.M.!
From there, the nation gathered up and Sharkman took him on his old Saturday Minion ride past a waterfall (well, you had to pretend there wasn’t a dam there, so then, it was a waterfall) past Indian Run Golf Course, Indian Lakes, Scott’s Mill, the Village of Scott’s and Scooters famous ice cream parlor, as well as the famous Scott’s Post Office, and some of the most beautiful roads and farms in the area. It ended up being a very social ride with long stretches of good pace line and great discussion. The pace may have been a bit quicker than the Sharkman was looking for but it was one of the best rides of the year!
As the riders returned down Qman Hill at break neck speeds, some splintered off to head home and the crowds were down on the Champs le Galesburg.
Sharkman, Wildman, Hoosier Boy, Stingray and Yeti Boy headed to McDonalds which seemed to be the busiest place in town. After a 15 minute wait in line, the crew enjoyed watching the Sharkman down an egg McMuffin while Yeti Boy explained the intricacy of food management and it’s relation to golf. Quite a discussion……
Can it get any better?
Show up next week and join the Mighty Minion Nation to find out!
Saturday, July 9, 2011 – Launch Time 8:00 A.M. – SHARP (or earlier!)
CHIP & SEAL SEASON IS HERE!Special Announcement – Belo News has learned that parts of the sections between the col de Norte and Frona’s. It is hoped that it will be packed down by Saturday, but for safety reasons, this stretch will be designated as a “Neutral Zone” until further notice.
The Commissioner of Cycling has defined a “Neutral Zone” as an area that YOU DON’T RIDE FAST THROUGH, BUNKIE!
PARTY GIRL? THE REAL STORY!
Belo News
June 25, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – So, where was Gazelle Girl for the June 25th ride you might ask? Each week the Mighty Minion Nation waits for her to come over the 36th street hill and to shout out a welcome. Understandably, the Nation got concerned when she did not make the ride on the 25th. Rumors began circulating concerning the possibility of another toe injury, as only a major issue would keep the first lady of the Minion Nation away from the ride, right?
Wrong, Bunkie!
In an exclusive Belo News investigative report, it was learned that this legend of the Minion Nation, this dedicated rider of boundless energy who hardly ever misses a chance to ride with the Nation had been partying at the Gazelle Estate with Dr. Toe and some old friends and that the partying got so out of hand, it went on until 5:00 A.M.! (insert shocked sigh and expression).
Yes, you heard that here and it has since been confirmed by both Entertainment Tonight and TMZ that “the Party Girl of the Peloton” had “partaken” of substances that, well let’s say it wasn’t orange soda (insert your own mood alerting substance of choice – we here at Belo News like Arcadia Whitsun’s)!
Due to the late hour and the effects of the “orange soda (insert your choice)” our own Gazelle Party Girl was unable to make the call! Though she did try to explain the situation, her only defense seemed to be it was 4 a.m. and not 5 a.m. Pretty weak…… pretty weak…..
SUPER WET PUKER POOPER LOOPER TOUR?
Belo News
June 25, 2011
Lake Michigan, MI. – Brewman reports that while Gazelle Girl was partying, he was on a ride from Kalamazoo to Muskegon and then North around Lake Michigan all the way to Manitowoc, WI. (whoa, what was he thinking?) Here is his report!
“From there we took a boat ride across the lake to Ludington and then back to Kalamazoo. The ride was dubbed the Super Looper Tour and consisted of 8 riders and 3 wives driving a support vehicle.
After the first several days the ride took on a new name: The Super Wet Puker Pooper Looper Tour. As you can tell from the new name, the tour was challenging both from a weather and health perspective. Almost 900 miles in 10 days, there also was much fun and beautiful scenery along with visits to several breweries! You cannot plan the experiences a ride like this unfolds for you. All but one of the riders was ill at one time or another. The ride provided great memories and the challenges presented along the way have and will provide much to talk about in the future. We had daily destinations in mind but no reservations, schedules or set routes. The most fun was making it up as we went along. Many wonderful stops that provided opportunities to meet a whole bunch of great people and real characters. We are already thinking about another adventure next year…… "
Brewman and Ms. Hurst Shifter - Linda VaughnTuesday Night Ride Report(s)
June 30 Ride Report from the Pirate:The lot was thin on this past Tuesday ride when yours truly came strolling up the walkway to the normal gathering oasis. Only the mighty Hoosier Boy showed up for this intrepid ride. The wind was near gale force strength as we made it out of town and past stinky corner (thank you lord for the wind). As we motored our way into that great metropolis of Augusta, none other than Skipper, Bissell Boy and Striker Guy and Hockey Boy met up with us. The joys of have someone to draft behind was met with HOORAY!!
The trek up G-Ave to the summit was met with a gust of wind that nearly stalled the great minion nation, but true to our hero's mantra, the peloton picked up speed and whirled down 37th street to the high school. Bissell Boy and Striker Guy did a 180 and headed for home while the tail wind help us all the way past Augusta, where the Pirate and Skipper dropped off and let Hoosier Boy motor his way back to BC. It ended with another GRRRREAT Tuesday Ride!
July 5 Ride Report from Sharkman:
Big Turn out this past Tuesday night! STINGRAY, Hoosier Boy, Rainman, Sharkman and Wilier Boy headed out in fantastic weather and were greeted by Bissell Boy, Skipper and the Tow Truck as they motored out to Augusta. Tow Truck got a taste of victory as he rode Rainman like a rented mule to the 36th street finish and then went out to take the sprint. Fear in the peloton that he may have liked that feeling too much!
The group had to return on River Road, as August Road had been freshly chip & sealed. However, it only shortened the ride by less than 2 miles.
Come on out and join the Nation on the Tuesday Night Ride. Good chance to work on pace line action!
6:00 p.m. from the Kellogg upper deck parking lot!
HAWKEYE UPDATE!Belo News checked in with Hawkeye after his surgery on Friday, June 24, 2011. He is in good spirits, as you can see from the letter he has kept his sense of humor. Here is an update in his own words;
Sharkman,
Thanks for checking on me. I am recovering on schedule from my surgery. I have a pretty big void in the armpit and going sans deoderant isn't the most pleasant experience. I should be able to do more things with the arm in the next couple weeks.
As for my treatment for the cancer, that's proving to be a little more complex. When they removed the nodes, they removed a total of 28, 23 of which, were cancerous and they are concerned that there could be more effected in up behind the collar bone. I have only really 3 treatment options, the first being the current method of Interferon. However that is only 5-15% effective, not my idea of good odds. My other option is a newly approved drug called Yerevoy and there is a clinical trial going on here in Kzoo at the West MI cancer center, and I should know if I get in that by Friday this week and hopefully begin treatment soon after. Or there is one more trial called BRaf, at the U of M but I'm have qualified for that program yet. Still working out the details.Prognosis, 12 months if I don't get treated or treatment doesn't work. Not real warm and fuzzy. If treatment works and I respond to the new drugs, 5+ years is possible. Right now, it's time to call in a favor for divine intervention and I have 100's of people praying for me and interceding on my behalf. So my survival odds are good, or at least I plan to be around for awhile yet.I have a long road ahead of me. I am trying to stay positive and look for the good, like if I could lose 30 pounds due to chemo, I would be killer on the bike or at least look really svelt for Mrs Hawkeye so I'm not giving up, I'm going to fight and I have lots of people fighting with me. I am also bringing my bike inside/downstairs to begin spinning again so I can maintain my strength and endurance as I battle. My goal is to lead out the minion nation next summer on a glorious summer morning and to be back in the throngs of Team Taylor helping and fighting for those who can’t do it themselves.
Please share any and all details with the Nation. Thank you again for the many prayers and the support you are offering up. Know that people are praying is a great confidence booster, one that I've never felt before.
Peace to you and the minions,
Eric
Every Minion is with you and awaiting your return to the Mighty Minion Nation!
RAINMAN RESPONDS!
