JERSEY DAY HUGE SUCCESS!

WAS THAT ANDY SCHLECK WHO WON SATURDAY?

INTERNATIONAL RIDER IN THE PELOTON?


Belo News
June 18, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – There had been a lot of “buzz” all week about Tony the Tiger Jersey Day. With the exception of Red, White and Blue Jersey Day for Memorial Day, the Minion Nation had not had a “Jersey Day” in some time. Well, that excitement resulted in a major turnout of Miniondom this past Saturday, as the count was lost at 26 riders. These days so many riders jump on and off the ride that getting an accurate count can be difficult!

As Nikeboy and Sharkman rode into Galesburg, none other than Hutch showed up to escort them to the start. This was the season debut for Hutch who has been busy with “Dad” duties! Welcome back Hutch!

As the mass of mighty Minions gathered at the start, several new riders appeared. Riding in from the Creek with Thor was new rider Dane, now known as the Great Dane. Also, another friend of Thor named Jeff, decked out in a Michigan Spartan Jersey and who did not do anything embarrassing to garner a name….yet, arrived for the start. Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation, Great Dane and Jeff to be named later!

Also, arriving with Bissell Boy, who was out of his normal kit but looking quite dapper in his Tony Jersey, was the mornings celebrity rider from STOCKHOLM SWEDEN! Yes, you heard that correctly! It was the Big Swede riding a great Pinarello! And man, could he ride (more on that later)! Also with Bissell Boy, was Bob the Builder! Welcome Big Swede and Bob the Builder!

Skipper was looking good in his Tony Jersey and a number of riders had Pops Jerseys on. Skipper got things started and led the Minions on a new route to the start as the train tracks were closed for repair behind the Klutch and the B Group, led by Nikeboy just off the back.

Everyone was waiting to greet Gazelle Girl, but much to the pelotons disappointment, she was not at her usual spot. Apparently, she got a late start and when she got to 36th street, she caught on to the B Group and moved to catch on to the A. She miraculously appeared at the col de Twin Lakes climb, much to Sharkman’s surprise!

Sharkman, feeling somewhat spunky, went around the Skipper and Pirate at the front and took his honorary sprint. He tried to take a count at the G crossing but there were just too many Minions in the mix. Squeaky took the next sprint and though clad in a Tony Jersey and cycling shorts, he again was making either a fashion or a social statement. Squeaky was with either excited to see everyone and if so he would appear to be anatomically incorrect OR he had a bike pump stuffed in his shorts. Belo News plans to do an in-depth investigative report confirm it was, in fact, a bicycle pump.

The section through the Country Club was again the high speed torrent it has become known for. Interestingly, the A Group passed the B Group at this point as B group had taken the cut off!

After humongous pulls by Squeaky, the Pirate, Chico and others, Sharkman took advantage of his position and shot out to take the sprint edging out a surging Dr. Dave. However, it looked more like Dr. Dave gave the patron the sprint rather than an outright win (thanks Dr. Dave, you are a class act!).

As the Mighty Minion Nation descended the col de Norte, the Big Swede jumped to the front and Sharkman jumped on! Sharkman later stated that riding behind the Big Swede was like taking a ride on the Star Ship Enterprise, “I tucked in and it felt like I had dropped into a vacuum warp of some kind. The world stood still, the sun was blotted out, the trees seemed to stand still for a second and then shift like a blur as we hit warp speed! He was at around 60 leg killing rpm while I was on a joy ride behind him! It was great!” Said the Sharkman.

After the Digital Divide, the Pirate tried to get everyone into a double pace line, but it was not to be as the young riders in the peloton were not catching on to the idea. Gazelle Girl took over and got everyone into a single pace line that was reasonably sane and the speed picked up accordingly.

Squeaky stole the G Spot Sprint after the pace line broke up with Zickman hot on his wheel!

Cheddarhead, who had a mechanical even before he left home (flat tire) joined on for the finishing trip down 37th St.

The pace picked up considerably for the final sprint. Pirate made is usual push to the front and pulled but as the train got over the final climb before the finish, Rainman, looking his Andy Schleck best, made a jump that no one could cover. Flash Gordon and Dr. Dave battled it out for the final two podium spots with Flash winning a close one at the tape.

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg were particularly wild as the Tony Jersey’s caused a major sensation with the tofosi. The Klutch was packed with paparazzi for the ensuing press conference and Luann was ready with the Koffee, which Cheddarhead bought for all! Way to go Cheddarhead!

Sharkman was escorted back to the Shark Cove by Thor, Great Dane and Cheddarhead after the ride.

Is this a great country or what?

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be There!


LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Dear Belo News,

I am writing to inquire if Mr. Nikeboy is married or owns a dog? He is really a great guy and I am VERY interested in his, well…”status” so to speak. He is my hero.

Signed: Suzy the Beagle

Dear Suzy,

Thanks for your letter, and your interest, but Nikeboy is not only married, but also owns a couple of dogs already. So, you’re sort of “barking up the wrong tree…” so to speak. He is our hero too!

The Editors

HAWKEYE ON THE DISABLED LIST, NEEDS YOUR PRAYERS!

Belo News
June 15, 2011

Kalamazoo, Mi. – Some of our riders may have noticed the absence this year of Eric Janssen, aka, Hawkeye. Though a periodic Minion rider, he has been a perennial podium resident when he is in attendance. Our readers may remember that he was a part of the three bike pile up with the last place rider in the Sherminator crash a couple of seasons ago. Famous for wearing his Iowa Hawkeye jersey to the rides, Hawkeye now needs your prayers as he takes on one tough ride.

Hawkeye sent us a note last week to explain his absence

Hawkeye has reported that his wings have been clipped for the summer as he has been diagnosed with stage 3 Melanoma and will begin cancer treatment next Friday with surgery with some form of immuno-therapy to follow. Hawkeye wrote that he is feeling fine now but commented that he has a HC category climb in front of him. He stated he is looking forward to being the next great cancer surviving cyclist. Hawkeye also wanted to encourage all the minions to use sunscreen liberally and often. “The new credo should be something like if you can't ride good, look good while wearing sun screen!” Hawkeye was quoted as saying.

The Sharkman hizzelf has battled skin cancer and has had two surgeries as well as two chemical peels on his head, to control his lack of using sunscreen during his misspent youth and STRONGLY endorses Hawkeyes suggestion to USE SUN SCREEN!

So, all Minions are asked to put Hawkeye on their prayer list and we here at Belo News send out our best wishes to get well soon! Every Minion is pulling for you Hawkeye and hope your back in the peloton and on the podium soon!

If anyone can win this sprint, it is the legendary Hawkeye!


TUESDAY NIGHT RAINED OUT!

Belo News
June 21, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – Though three intrepid riders, Sharkman, Rainman and Hoosier Boy, were suited up and ready to ride Tuesday night, the Tornado Watch and the sudden bolt of lightening that crossed the sky as they were unloading their bikes caused them to question the wisdom of getting on their bikes. It was a good decision to cancel the ride, as the weather only got worse. It was, however, hard to believe that the Rainman was actually suited up considering the imminent possibility of rain, but this weather is making everyone desperate to just ride!

Join the Tuesday Night ride next week when it is hoped it won’t be raining! Launch time
6:00 p.m. – SHARP – from Kellogg HQ!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAVA GIRL!

MOUNTAIN MADNESS?

B GROUP SAVES SUZY THE BEAGLE!

TONY THE TIGER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!


Belo News
June 11, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – We here at Belo News want to congratulate the First Lady of Cycling and the love of Sharkman’s life, the famous Lava Girl, on a very special Birthday! Our intrepid hero surprised Lava Girl by flying one of his daughters home from the coast to celebrate this landmark event, keeping our hero pretty busy over the past few days. Sharkman’s other daughter is 8 months pregnant with the latest Sharklet and was unable to come back for the festivities. However, as you can see from the photo, Mother Shark and Sharklet Colleen had a great time!

THE MIGHTY MINION NATION SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAVA GIRL!

Now on to last Saturday’s ride, which was lower on numbers, but very high on the “ridability scale!” The weather may have scared some Minions away as it was overcast at the start, but the temps were perfect and the rain held off.

Nikeboy once again escorted our hero to the start line and also led the B Group, which had quite a bit of drama associated with it, but more about that later.

In addition to the dynamic duo, All Black, Wilier Boy, Dr. Dave, Stryker Guy, Cheddar Head, and the Pirate were in attendance. Making his season debut was none other than Flash Gordon (welcome back Flash) and a new rider sponsored by Stryker Guy himself. The new rider, named Josh, herein known as Torque (we’ll get to that later) is a former Cat 1 racer and was under the constant eye of his mentor, Stryker Guy.

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Torque!

Stryker Guy was looking very dapper in his brand new Stryker Kit, obviously in response to his huge win of the G Spot sprint two weeks previous. Apparently the sponsor wanted more publicity, placing a heavy load on Stryker Guy to again, go for the G Spot!

With Skipper AWOL, the Pirate shouted out, “O.K. ladies, lets go!” as the Nation took off to the sound of clicking pedals and the whir of Ksyrium and Bontrager wheels.

The crowd at the Klutch was extremely demonstrative as the group passed and waiting for the Nation on the other side of the railroad tracks was the long absent Wildman! The peloton went, well...wild as they saw one of the legends of the peloton, saddled up and ready to go. From the get go, Wildman made it clear he had not been on the bike in a while and would be riding in the B Group with Nikeboy. He was also leaving for yet another business trip to China and would not be available for autographs post ride.

Ready to greet Gazelle Girl the Nation looked north to see if the expected rider was anywhere in sight, but alas she was either out for the week or had decided to sleep. However, just before the opening sprint, the defending champ from the previous week, Kid Doster joined on to the nation.

As the train bore down on the first sprint, both Stryker Guy and Torque took turns leading the Sharkman to get their names in Belo News. Torque, picking up the bug to get into the blog early in his Minion career pulled the Shark out ahead of Stryker Guy to get the sprint. The count at the north bound G Ave. crossing was 12 riders.

It became increasingly apparent that our new Cat 1 rider could win at will and had a torque in his sprint that was reminiscent of the Wolf King in his younger years, when he was much, much thinner, was actually a good rider, and was also actually riding a bike on occasion.

As an example, the pace picked up as usual with a strong pull from Sharkman, Stryker Guy, Kid Doster and Torque through the Country Club section of the course. At the turn to the road to Rt. 43, Pirate pulled through and took over at the front and put in a humongous pull. Biding his time, the Sharkman waited until just before the Stop Ahead was in view and took off, feeling that he had the sprint nailed. Just at the finish, Torque closed a huge gap with a stroke or two of the pedal and nipped our hero at the tape.

Well played, Torque, well played.

The pace was fast and steady as the Minions rode through the Bible Conference Hills and past Frona’s. As they started the short climb after Frona’s, Skipper, who had slept in, met the nation on the climb. After being chastised for sleeping in and catching the ride late, he made amends by leading out the Sharkman to take the inlet sprint. (He also managed to get his name in the Blog!)

After the Digital Divide, the Sharkman shouted out that a pace line would form up with short, 30 second pulls and keeping the pace at a respectable 20-21 mph. After the old shark led the group off, the Pirate took up the pace with Torque riding in the on deck circle. When Torque took over, he immediately brought up the pace to 26 mph and Skipper, now in the on deck circle was told to let him go. As the peloton reeled him back in the Pirate explained pace line etiquette to the Cat 1 racer who apologized for his exuberance! As the train bore down on the G Spot Sprint, everyone was looking for a repeat win, in Stryker Kit, by none other than Stryker Guy himself, however, he was not able to duplicate his previous efforts sans Stryker kit, while Flash Gordon took his first sprint of the year leaving everyone to wonder if Stryker will want the kit back!

Knowing that there was some balance in the sprinting speed of the finishing pack, Sharkman jumped out to an early lead at the head of the pace line to spread out the crowd. Pirate, Kid Doster, Stryker Guy, Torque and the Minions stayed together, shifting the lead back and forth amongst the horde of riders boring down on the finish like a runaway train.

The Pirate put in a late surge and Torque jumped on his wheel. Sharkman, sensing that Torque would go past the Pirate at any moment, decided to try to hang on to his wheel to nail down the second spot on the podium. Just as predicted, Torque went around the Pirate and took the pace up as Sharkman hung on for dear life, dorsal flapping in the wind.

Sharkman, not daring to look back, rode on and hit a top speed of 36.0 mph and his highest HR (180 bpm) in years!

Average speed, season high 19.7 mph.

Just before the finish tape, Sharkman came out of the slip stream to make a move, but reported later it was like hitting a “wall of wind.” Torque took the tape with Sharkman on his wheel and Kid Doster grabbed the last spot on the podium.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the peloton rode into the Klutch, where Luanne had the Koffee hot and ready to go. Pirate was the first to the counter to order up his frappe latte whip creamy conconction. The rest of the "ladies" had Bottomless Kups!

Shortly after the arrival at the Press Conference, Nikeboy and the B Group arrived, telling the story of how they saved Suzy the Beagle!

Apparently as the B Group crested the col de Norte, and headed south to the dirt road leading to the boat launch, Cheddar Head, Wildman and Nikeboy rode past an old, tired looking beagle who seemed to be lost. Nikeboy, being the soft hearted, dog loving, gentle giant that he is, took pity on the wayward old canine and stopped to see what he could do. Suzy immediately jumped in to his waiting grasp and as Nikeboy confessed, “that is the first time a female has ever jumped into his arms.”

Trying to make out the doggy’s tags without his reading glasses was no easy task, but Nikeboy was able to find the dog’s name, “Suzy” and a phone number for the owner. He called and the owner, thanking him profusely, stated they would be right there to pick up the dog. As Nikeboy waited, a car pulled up and stated to Nikeboy, “so, you found Suzy this time. Did you call her owner yet?”

Yes, Nikeboy called Suzy’s owner who arrived and took her from Nikeboy’s protection (and bear like hug).

Another victory for American and an example of the dedication of the Mighty Minion Nation to leave no Minion behind! Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation, Suzy!

(Where else can you get these great human interest stories! Is this a great blog or what? We're still drying our eyes.....)

Can this get anymore exciting?

You won’t want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG! What will happen next?

The Commissioner of Cycling has declared this Saturday as Tony the Tiger Jersey Day!

Put on your Tony Jersey and ride with the Nation!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Launch Time 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

MINIONS RULE AT MICHIGAN MOUNTAIN MAYHEM!

Belo News
June 11, 2011

Boyne City, Mi. – It was a wet, 130 mile ride with over 10,000 foot of climb, but three brave Minions fought through pouring rain to finish this test of Minionhood.

Conor, Rainman and Falcon were in attendance for a ride that was described as an unbelievable route that starts near the backside of Boyne Mountain, and runs south through the hilliest part of Michigan wrapping around Schuss Mountain before returning back to Boyne City. These “hills” may not be the Rockies where most of the climbs out west average 3-5% grades. These routes will test anyone with over 50, yes over 50 climbs that hit at least 10% and many that reach 15% - 20%, and even an optional Super Hill that hits 29%!

Our Minions decided they would test their metal in the leg burning 200K (130 mile) Double Metric.

These Minions did the Mighty Nation proud! Congratulations!

For more on this race, and possible entry for next year (entry is closed at 1000 participants) here is the link;


http://www.michiganmountainmayhem.com/

IN OTHER MINION NEWS!

Belo News
June 11, 2011

Glen Lake, MI. – In other Minion news, Brewman, who continues to punish his body with running, also spent a wet Saturday at a crazy triathalon of running, kayaking and biking in the Dunes!

Running in the dunes, pedaling around Glen Lake, and kayaking, our Brewman did the Mighty Nation proud, as well as Custer Cyclery. Well, it was reported that Brewman did the Mighty Minion Nation proud until the kayak section.

Apparently the kayak that Brewman rented sight unseen was more like a barge with a load of beer on it than a sleek racing scull.

Excuses, excuses!

Congratulations Brewman!

TUESDAY NIGHT UPDATE!

Belo News

June 14, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. - The Tuesday evening ride included Airman (recently back from back-surgery), Stingray, Pirate, and Rainman. Even the Skipper joined on for the fun, meeting up with the team on River Road. If you want a great Tuesday Night work out, come on out and join the nation with a 6:00 P.M. launch from Kellogg Headquaters! See you there!

WHO TOOK THE G SPOT SPRINT?

WHO WAS THAT GUY WITH THE CAMELBACK!?

B GROUP GETS OFF TO GREAT START!



Belo News
June 4, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – As we all know by now, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was conspicuously absent from last weeks action, however the Mighty Minion Nation rode on!

Thanks to reporters Stryker Guy and Stingray, the Belo News was able to attain these in-depth reports from the field…..

Sharkman—

I will give you the highlights from last week’s ride as best as I can remember (@55 the memory loss is amazing)

· Skipper led the group about 15-16 strong from the launch point past the Klutch where the boys waved (no one waved back) someone flipped us off in a car though

· Gazelle girl caught up at her normal meeting point and was obviously full of energy as she took the first sprint

· The second sprint was taken by none other than Squeaky, who was in a cool team kit of some kind. Interestingly Squeaky had a 7 inch bike pump tucked on the inside of his bike shorts, which may have caused some issues if we had more women on the ride

· Up the C’or de whatever with Brewman streaking up the mountain and leading the charge to the next triumphant spring point

· The pace subsided a bit until we got close to Yorkville church and then it was all out as the Pirate, who was riding very well all day took the pace (much to his dismay) he was ultimately swept up by Chico and others. Out of nowhere Zickman took the sprint as the group trudged up the hill past the Flea Market house on the left

· The pace quickened again and I have no idea who won the next sprint except All Black was looking good at that point

· On to Frona’s where Chico decided enough was enough and punished nearly everyone up the hill and never slowed down to Frona’s.

· Gazelle girl still feeling frisky (can you say that) won the G-spot (her preference) in a battle with Squeaky

· Finally Kid Doster who met the crew at the north end of Gull Lake sped past Chico, the Pirate and numerous others including me, to win the finale

· Two groups went out, the other led by Nike boy.

That’s it sir, hope it is enough

Stryker Guy

Sharkman,

It was a good ride Saturday…beautiful weather! There were about 19 riders at the start, with Skipper leading us out. Gazelle Girl joined us, and we tried to coordinate a proper "Gazelle Girl" welcome, but without the Sharkman we lacked the proper enthusiasm, harmony, and timing! The first sprint was won by none other than Gazelle Girl, totally crushing all attempts by Sharkman to get past her. Squeaky, looking more like Squeaky than Popeye this week, won the next sprint. The sprint after that (Cul De Twin Lakes?), the one where you go by the lake on the left, climb the steep hill, then 1/4 mile race to the stop ahead…yeah that one was won by Brewman. Zickman took the next one where the stop ahead is at the base of the hill. I believe GG squeaked out a win over Squeaky at the G ave crossing. Final sprint was won by Kid Doster? (rides a Lemond w/ the Camelback).

The ride was pretty mellow overall.

Stingray

Belo News thanks these two Minions for these up to the minute reports! Belo News intends to double their salaries! As a matter of fact, Stryker Guy's memory is way better than our usual reporters who only seems to be able to remember who wins the first and last sprints!

The Sharkman will be back in action this week as the Mighty Minion Nation rides again!

Saturday, June 11, 2011!

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

B GROUP GETS OFF TO GREAT START!

Belo News
June 4, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – Nikeboy reports that the B Group got off to a solid start this past weekend! Working his usual magic, our gentle giant drifted to the back of the pack and picked up riders as the Mighty Nation headed around the KK-TdG. In the post ride press conference, Nikeboy stated there were still some bugs he wants to work out, but for the most part the ride went extremely well. The group averaged around 18 mph.

The plan is to continue to offer the “B” group ride and Nikeboy would like to develop other leaders in the event he misses a ride.

Thanks Nikeboy!

So come on out and join the Mighty Minion Nation!

WHAT RAIN?

OLD GUYS RULE!?

B GROUP TO BE LED BY NIKEBOY!

THE MOTHER OF ALL STORMS!

DURANGO KID BEATS TRAIN!


Belo News
May 28, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – It was a rough week at the Shark Cove!

Sunday afternoon saw the “Mother of all Storms” hit Battle Creek along with the Shark Cove, and the ensuing power outage and associated carnage put a dent in a major write up this week, but here we go……

As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, launched from the Cove on Saturday morning with his faithful side kick and main body guard, Nikeboy at his side, they began to question the morning’s radar readings. The Shark Radar had indicated no rain, but the mist forming on the two riders sunglasses belayed another story.

Undeterred and assured this was a momentary situation, the dynamic duo continued to ride to the start despite the accumulation of moisture on their sunglasses, their faithful steeds, and ….well ….all over.

As they approached the start, discussing how the wet weather and the Holiday might keep the number of riders to a minimum, they noticed a large gathering of riders decked out in red, white and blue kit in celebration for Memorial Day. Bissell Boy, on one of those rare occasions when he is not in his Bissell kit, was decked out in a very cool Rolling Stones all American, red, white and blue jersey living one of the Minion credo’s, that, “if you can’t be good, look good!” And the Minions were looking good on this Holiday Weekend!

Making their season debuts were Zickman, of brat and beer fame, as well as Hockey Boy, back from the pro hockey circuit and ready to be humbled by a bunch of old guys! Hockey Boy was wearing the now famous Stryker Jersey that his Dad wasn’t wearing when he won the G Ave. Sprint a week ago! Welcome back, gentlemen!

Additionally, two new riders became Minions on Saturday morning. Rick Hunt, now known as the Huntman, and a young rider by the name of Cannonburg, now known as the Cannon! Well, until we come up with better, more original names.

Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation, gentlemen!

The Skipper was on hand to lead the peloton at the start, with the legendary Pirate at his side. It was quite a sight to see the Mighty Minion Nation, many of whom had on their red, white and blue kit in celebration of Memorial Day, make their way past the Klutch and up 36th Street to the cheers of their adoring fans.

Sharkman got a count of 18 riders at the start, but again a number of riders jumped on and off during the course of the ride and it was difficult to get a count but it was estimated to be around 22+ riders.

Gazelle Girl joined in at her usual spot and a number of riders came to the front to lead out the Sharkman to the first sprint. In what became one of the bigger sprint battles of the day, first the Pirate, then Squeaky, then Falcon, and Danimal all battled for the honor to take Sharkman to the victory….or more likely to see their names here in Belo News. Mission accomplished gentlemen!

We would be remise if we did not mention the sartorial splendor, or should we say, wardrobe malfunction, that Squeaky displayed on this fine wet morning. Our occasional celebrity rider, the Squeak Man rode in wearing a nylon jacket under his tight bike jersey. The sleeves on the jacket caught the wind as he rode making it look like,

A.) His air bags had deployed,
B.) He had eaten some spinach and was looking like Popeye, or
C.) He was testing a new chute system to allow him to get a better work out.

Since Squeaky has only one workable gear on his bike (seriously), we can eliminate C.

We know he doesn’t like spinach, eliminating B.

Which leaves only A. Yes, Squeaky’s airbags must have deployed.

At the Col de Norte, there was a brief altercation with an elderly gentleman in a classic Cadillac who seemed to be upset at the Nation for taking up most of the road (which they were doing). (Editors Note – Though we all want to live the Minion Credo that “we leave no Minion behind, and the Sharkman is very grateful that most, if not all, of the Nation lives that credo, all Minions are reminded that they should move to the side of the road as best we can while waiting for other Minions.)

As the Minions gathered back up, Gazelle Girl had a flat tire and the Nation pulled up until she got it repaired. (See letters to the editor).

The normal pace line formed up after the Digital Divide and on to the G Ave. Sprint.

As the Nation formed up for the final assault on the finish, Sharkman led out with the Pirate and the Tow Truck on his wheel. Sharkman threw in a good pull to get things started and then the Pirate came up and took over for a long spell. Pirate pulled off and let the Tow Truck move into action. As has been his usual routine, the Tow Truck took it up another notch and threw in a humongous pull to the top of the final hill when Sharkman took over once again.

As the finish loomed ahead, Brewman drew up and said, “Let’s give the Sharkman a break!” and took the lead with Falcon and Zickman on his tail. Where were all the young guy’s?

The Sharkman latched on to Brewman’s wheel, grateful for the moment’s rest, just as Zickman made his move with Falcon right behind. As the two battled it out, Brewman launched Sharkman back into the fray and he was able to close the gap to Zickman and Falcon!

As Sharkman went around Zickman, he revealed at the press conference later that he waited for Falcon to look over his left shoulder as he always does and was going to attack on the right (like the legendary Wolf King (who is Wolf King?).

However, after Falcon made the look to the left, Sharkman notice him look to the right and Sharkman stayed left as the finish approached, using Falcons draft to carry him. But it was a bit too late and as Sharkman launched, Falcon had enough to hold him off and Falcon took the tape by a half wheel in a dramatic finish that will go down in Minion lore!

Sharkman went back to thank the Tow Truck for the great pull and Brewman for bringing him back to the finish! It was a great team effort to help the old Shark!

Average speed was 19.4 mph on the day.

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our riders approached the Klutch and the ensuing pandemonium of the Press Conference.

At the Klutch, Jamie was back to serve up hot Koffee to our hero’s while the paparazzi was very interested in the battle of old guys as Zickman and Sharkman are major veterans (like the oldest guys in the peloton) and though Falcon is a bird, he is no spring chicken…..

Falcon actually bought Koffee for both the Zickman and Sharkman for the great finish! That is two weeks in a row for Sharkman! (No, really, Falcon did!)

It was a great weekend in the peloton and you won’t want to miss this weekend’s edition!

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!


NEW “B” GROUP TO BE LED BY NIKEBOY!

Belo News
June 1, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – At a press conference in Battle Creek today, the Commissioner of Cycling announced that there will now be a “B” group on Saturday mornings led by the legendary rider, Nikeboy.

Nikeboy has stepped up and volunteered to lead the “B” group that will launch at the same time as the main Minion group and will ride at 17-18 mph.

For the past couple of seasons, riders have talked about a “B” group for new riders, riders coming back from injuries or riders who just want less competition on Saturday mornings or riders who feel social and just want to ride “off the back.” Nikeboy has graciously volunteered to lead it and will also try to cultivate others to lead on Saturday’s when he can’t make it (like during the college football season!). As Nikeboy stated during the press conference, “I will be there, weather permitting!”

The group will start with the main group and just stay with Nikeboy for the ride or drop back to him if they are off the back.

So come on out all you riders who want to join the Mighty Minion Nation for the ride, but with a little less effort! But only a little less!

The Minion Nation grows!

BELO NEWS PUZZLE

We’ve decided to throw a puzzle in for all of you this week to keep you out of trouble!

What is this a photo of?

A.) A morel mushroom?
B.) A honey dipper?
C.) A new piece of riding attire worn by Squeaky?

Write your answer on a slip of paper with your name and address and send it to the Shark Cove, along with the entry fee of $35.00 and you can win a free kup of koffee! Yes, everybody wins!

(Photo courtesy of Brewman – who will get a cut of the action if anyone actually enters this contest) (The contest is void were prohibited by law and no morel mushrooms or Honey dippers were killed in the making of the photo).






KRISSCROSS EVENT COMES TO KAZOO THIS YEAR!

Belo News
June 1, 2011

Kalamazoo, Mi – Brewman reports that the popular Krisscross series of Cyclocross is coming to Kalamazoo in October!

You heard here first in Belo News!

Sunday, October 2, 2011 at Markin Glen Park.

More information to follow!


LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sharkman Adviser,

In the event that my flat tire comes up in the next Belo News please be sure that I say THANK YOU to ALL the Minions for sticking around in true Minion fashion whilst I fixed the sucka. It made the rest of my ride way more fun! The Minions ROCK!


GG

Dear GG,

Everyone knows the Nation loves Gazelle Girl and would never leave her behind! After all, how many Minions have their name shouted out as they approach the peloton on Saturday!



Sharkman

DURANGO KID AND COUSIN PHIL BEAT IRON HORSE!

Belo News
May 28, 2011

Durango, CO. – While the Mighty Minion Nation was toying with the little ole col de Twin Lakes, the Durango Kid and his cousin Phil were racing the Iron Horse from Durango to Silverton. For those faithful readers of Belo News, you will remember the Durango Kids gutsy battle to finish last year after a major pile up.

Out to avoid that type of ride this year, DK stayed with the lead group at the start and averaged around 24.6 mph through the first few miles. That pace took a bit out of him as he hit the first roller after the tracks, but he fought to stay on.

Though DK struggled up the legendary Coal Bank Pass, and his split was slower than his normal training rides he hung in. Our intrepid Minion found a second wind on the Molas Pass and fought on! Stopping for water only twice, his time registered on his computer was 3:43. The weather was perfect and warm. We hope to have some photos of our hero in a future Belo News.



Minions win again! It was a victory for America.

Great job Durango Kid and Cousin Phil! You made the Mighty Minion Nation proud!