Iceman Makes Victorious Return

Dr. Dave Takes Green Jersey

Stoker's Bike Run Over by Excited Cyclist*

Who's Joe Momma?


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi
June 26, 2010

Seventeen devoted minions showed up on this gray, wet morning to welcome Stryker Guy's unknown employee and learn that Stoker's wheel was mangled as he was trying to make it to the start on time. It was explained to Stoker that it is always best to put the bike in the back of your car before backing out of one's garage, though he recovered in fine form riding his late friend's custom bike equipped with a power tap.

The minions tooled up 36th St. at a casual pace given the wet pavement and treacherous conditions. The first sprints went uncontested until the peloton climbed past Col de Twin Lakes where Dr. Dave rode down a break away move to take what would be the first of his many sprints in the green jersey category. During the spin up 36th Bissell Boy took it upon himself to introduce Stryker Guy to his new plant manager that he had yet to meet. Talk about employee relations! Is this a great group or what? We even provide employee on boarding services. The new rider(employee) Joe has moved to Portage from Tampa Bay and heard about the famous Shark Minion ride. Until the Sharkman provides an official nickname he has been deemed "Joe Momma" as in Who's Joe Momma? I guess Stryker Guy has been a bit busy.

The group spun through the CC hills at a casual pace until Chico lifted the pace as the pack moved north toward M-43 and around the north end of the lake. Dr. Dave put on another stealth move to take the Frona's sprint and as the field of 17 moved toward the bay Tow Truck blew his Garmin clean off his bike as he accelerated south.

As they made the final turn south on 37th the pace was lifted to near 27mph with Tow Truck and Zickman doing solid work on the front, delivering the spinning mass to the final sprint, where in a fierce battle Iceman took the victory and sharing the podium with Hutch and B-Rod.

Looking forward to the Holiday ride on Saturday, riders are requested to wear the red, white and blue.

Be there!

* This is not an actual photo of Stoker' bike, just needed a picture

A WILD WEEKEND FOR THE MINIONS!

BEER RIDE BIG SUCCESS!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

June 18, 2010

Battle Creek, Mi. – Three members of the Mighty Minion Nation took part in the Second Annual (possibly bi-annual going forward) Beer Ride from Arcadia Brewing in Battle Creek to Bells Brewery in Kalamazoo with a pit stop at the Barking Frog in Augusta. Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was accompanied by the incomparable Dutch and the ever ready for a beer, Wildman. 27 riders took part in the ride and as you can see from the photo, it was a great event! Plans are in the making for a possible fall ride from Arcadia to the Dark Horse in Marshal. Watch Belo News for more information later this year! Big thanks to Kevin Hoppe, aka, Calliou for putting this event together!


RAINMAN STEALS THE SHOW!

Who Was That Celebrity Rider?

Squeaky Appearance!

June 19, 2010

Galesburg Mi. – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, made his way to the alternate start line on Saturday, he had to make his way around tons of road debris that had been scattered by the storm the previous night. With the alternate start, the bad weather the previous night and the Lumberjack Race in Manistee taking place, the Sharkman wondered if anyone would show for this weeks edition of the KK-TdG.

As the old Shark arrived, B-rod was waiting in the parking lot. Shortly after, Sooner and Rainman pulled in and unloaded their steeds, followed by Dr. Dave and a guest, Celebrity Rider, Dave Dohlen (sp?) who had just returned from Iraq and was visiting from San Antonio, Texas! We bring in celebrity riders from everywhere! Is this a great country or what?

Even Squeaky was in attendance, wearing his “Keep Izzo” Spartan Jersey and ready to go!

Bissell Boy was hard to recognize as he was not wearing his Bissell kit, All Black, Flash Gordon, The Pirate, Skipper, Sooner, Dutch, and Hutch. There may have been more, but with the number of riders latching on and off the ride it is getting more difficult to get all the names in the Update! Duiring the ride, a total of 23 riders was noted.

With Skipper back in the fold, things got started out and with his order and the Mighty Minion Nation clicked in and headed out to HJ to make the trip over to 36th. Gazelle Girl latched on as the Skipper lead out of the High School Parking Lot. Gazelle Girl then lead the Sharkman on to the first sprint!

As Skipper lead the Nation over G Ave. other riders joined on, including Knute, aka Knute who was on yet another different bike. But as the wise Sharkman always says, "one can never own too many bikes!"

The speed picked up tremendously, but steadily through the col de Twin Lakes, where Flash Gordon made a move that was countered by Rainman at the next sprint.

Though the pace was strong, this seemed to be a kinder, gentler ride through the Country Club section where the pace got steadily faster, yet riders stayed close. There seemed to be a lot of socializing in the peloton this week and it was great to hear all the chatter.

As the group rounded the north end of the course at the col de Norte, the pace continued to be steady and remained so through the Bible Conference Hills to C ave and on to the Digital Divide.

After the crossing, Sharkman went to the front and formed up the pace line. It wasn’t pretty, but it was effective.

As the train approached the 3G Zone, Bissell Boy lead out Gazelle Girl in a blaze, as she took the 3G Zone sprint, riding Bissell Boy like the proverbial "rented mule!"

As the Minions crossed G ave. Sharkman mentioned to the guest celebrity, Dave, that the next sprint was about two and a half miles down 37th and that everyone wanted to win the final. Dave must have taken that to mean that he should start the sprint then and there and he put the pedal down! Sharkman, being the cagey shark that he is, glued himself to the celebrity riders wheel as Dave performed a humongous pull down 37th!

Surprisingly, a small gap opened up just before the hill to the final descent as Rainman went by and shouted out, “we’ve got a gap!”

Sharkman went around Dave and did his pull up the hill but was losing gas fast.

Knute aka Knute and Dr. Dave latched on at the top of the hill and they, along with Rainman, began the final assault on the finish with Sharkman and Dave trailing behind.

Sharkman tried to hang on to the three but was spent from working with Dave to open the gap. Rainman, Knute aka Knute and Dr. Dave went down to the wire in another fantastic finish, pushing our intrepid hero, the Sharkman off the podium.

Since most of the Minions were parked near the finish, the crowd going to the Klutch was a bid lower than normal, but still around 8 or 9 riders. Galesburg Days we just starting to gear up and people were lining the streets to get their sets for the big parade at 11 a.m. The morning was so nice, the Minions decided to take their Koffee outside and Luann made an appearance for Galesburg Days, regaling our hero’s with stories of the 5th Anniversary of the Klutch and how the Minions were there on that first Saturday when she opened the now famous Koffee Klutch!

You won’t want to miss next weeks ride, though the Sharkman will be out in San Francisco to meet his new Grand Daughter Sharklet, Evelyn Nicole Kirkland (see story).

Next Saturday, June 26, 2010 – launch time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

BE THERE!


LUMBERJACK MINIONS!

June 19, 2010

Manistee, Mi. – At least three of our Minions took part in the Lumberjack 100 in the Manistee National Forest on Saturday. Belo News has learned that Falcon finished in 9 hrs 12 minutes, which was an hour faster than his previous time. We guess those 300+ mile weeks paid off!

Meanwhile, Kid Doster turned in a time of 9 hrs 30 minutes and Chumly somewhere behind them.

Great job Minions!

WOLF KINGS NEW RIDE!

June 21, 2010

Kalamazoo, Mi. – Wolf King was spotted checking out a new ride at Alfred E. Bike this past week. It is reported that his son, Josh, beat him at the Kalamazoo Classic 5K and he is now considering retiring from all competitive sports.

Don’t worry Wolf King, riding a bike like that will take away any thoughts of competition! Love those cycling shoes!

INTRODUCING EVELYN NICOLE KIRKLAND!

SHARKMAN'S LATEST SHARKLET!

June 22, 2010

San Francisco, Ca. - Sharkman and Lava Girl have another Grand Daughter! Born June 22, 2010, Evelyn Nicole Kirkland was born to Colleen and Mike Kirkland!

Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation, Evelyn!

Born at 6:53 pm Pacific Time, just 90 minutes after her mother arrived at the hospital (a natural born sprinter!). Vital stats are 7 lbs. 15 oz. and 20.75 inches. Mother and daughter are both doing great. Grandmother, as you can see in the photo, doing FANTASTIC!

Congratulations Kirklands!

Peloton Reaches 23 Strong

Wolf King Makes an Appearance

Shots Fired?

Falcon Soars to Victory

New Start Line for Saturday- Start Line not Start Time!

Belo News
Galesburg, MI
June 12, 2010

Twenty minions assembled at the start without their fearless leader Saturday morning. The Tow Truck's soon to be daughter in-law turned out on her new Jamis steed to many congratulations and was joined by other new riders yet to be named.

Due to road construction the Peloton turned left at the start and wound through the neighborhoods of G-burg which was declared a "neautral zone' until they hit 36th where Gazelle Girl joined us at her usual spot. The Peloton spun up 36th at a casual pace until they hit the Sharkman Sprint which was awarded to Falcon due to our leaders absence.

As the group made their way past G Ave. Wolf King dropped his cell phone and had to go back to pick it up. By the time he returned to the peloton his heart rate monitor was blaring and continued to do so the remainder of the ride.

Bissell Boy pulled the pack to the base of Col de Twin Lakes, where Knute aka Knute joined the ride and the Tow Truck made his first move of the day taking the KOM points.

As the pack made it's way to the Country Club Hills it was noted that Doctor Dave joined the group and now they were 23. Per usual the pace was lifted through the hills and several riders were placed in the "Pain Cave" as a group made a break for the sprint to M-43. While the group made their complimentary stop at the top of the M-43 hill they thought they heard a siren but alas they realized it was just Wolf King's heart monitor as he climbed the hill to rejoin the minions.

Dr. Dave made a stealth move to take the Frona's sprint and once again the peloton waited on the out of form WK.

The Tow Truck, Falcon and Chico took turns at the front pulling the group for most of the ride and as they passed M-89 a loud shot rang out, startling everyone, even tipping over Stryker Guy, when it was realized the Tow Truck's tire had blown. After an unsuccessfull repair he had to withdraw for the day.

At the 3G sprint Wilier Boy blew by Gazelle Girl to take her sprint and the train proceeded south toward the finish line. An all out sprint ensued with the podium being awarded to Falcon, A-Rob and Knute in order.

No average speed was reported.

New Starting Line for Saturday

Due to a parade in Galesburg the starting line will be moved to Galesburg High School Saturday for an 8am start

CATCHING UP IS HARD TO DO!

WHO WAS ON THAT SINGLE SPEED!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

June 5, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – As the old song goes, “Making up is hard to do!” Well, “catching up” on the Belo News is also hard to do!

After following the story of our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, on his trek and resulting win over the Iron Horse in Colorado, we have been flooded with work, family and other projects that have made catching up on the Belo News more of a “labor” of love than it is the norm. Many times, the stories just write themselves. Come on, how hard can it be with the fodder the Mighty Minion Nation leaves in their wake every week? But we must admit, it has been difficult of late to just keep up.

Despite that, and the crush of work this past week, we will try to get everyone caught up on the past few rides that have taken place!

The week before Memorial Day, Saturday May 22, 2010 saw a season high of 20 Minions appear for the ride. It was again, a very fast ride with some returning riders. Filing out the roster that morning in addition to our hero the Sharkman, was Zickman, Knute AKA Knute (riding a very sweet single speed Surely steel frame steed), Brewman sporting yet another new beer jersey, All Black, the Tow Truck, Chico, Stryker Guy and his side kick, Hockey Boy who was given the Sharkman Memorial Sprint for leading the Shark out to a podium finish a few weeks earlier, Danimal, Gazelle Girl, Kid Doster, the Unamed rider, Wildman and Hutch. In addition, a group of Team Taylor riders joined the Minions, lead by Iceman himself, Kevin Cleary, Rob Nicey and two others whose names we were not able to get! Welcome Team Taylor!
It was good to see Knute AKA Knute for the first time this season, and he was certainly in mid season form. The sprinting was spirited, but controlled and the Minions were great about no rolling stops or unexplainable surges in the peloton!

Sharkman showed his shark skills when he rode on the wheels of Hockey Boy and Zickman to attack from behind to take the Rt. 43 sprint.

In what could only be described as a phenomenal finish, Brewman and Knute AKA Knute, battled to the finish and for the first time in Minion history, they both were too gentlemanly to report who actually won and the Commissioner of Cycling declared it the first “photo finish” in Minion history and thus was declared a tie! Of course, with Knute on his single speed, it was hard to deny the drama in the first ever photo finish!

Another quick ride with an average time of 20.3 mph!


LOOK AT BREWMAN’S CLIMB!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

May 24, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – While Sharkman was worrying about the Durango to Silverton climb, our other intrepid Minion, Brewman, was climbing the highest peak east of the Mississippi! 102 miles at 11,000 feet of cumulative climbing! Talk about sick? Who thinks this stuff up?

Is this a great country or what! Take a look at the chart of this climb and our own Brewman did it at 102 miles! Congratulations Brewman!

STOKER TAKES THE GOLD AT THE NATIONALS!

Belo News

Atlanta, GA.

May 24, 2010

Atlanta, GA. –Our own Stroker, sometime Minion, full time swimmer, did the Mighty Minion Nation Proud by taking not one, but TWO Gold Medals at the U.S. National Swim Meet in Atlanta, Ga.! The Belo News is pleased to present the actual race on YouTube for your viewing pleasure! Go the attached link to see one of the two races our intrepid Minions won for the Gold!
Stoker won the Masters 50 yard breaststroke race in the same pool that hosted the 1996 Olympics! With a time of 28.61 seconds, he was parting the water like Moses parted the Red Sea! Stroker also took second in the 100 yard breaststroke in 1:03.76. Some of you Minion swimmers may be able to relate to those times, while Sharkman, who can hardly swim, is still in awe of his Shark Cove Neighbor. Strikers second Gold was won as a part of the 200 meter freestyle relay team, a team comprised of top swimmers from Michigan. All in all, Stroker swam in 4 individual events and three relays. Is this guy a stud or what?

Go Stroker! Congratulations! The Mighty Minion Nation is proud!

See Gold in the making at the attached link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM4_SURc5No&feature=email


WHO WON! WHO KNOWS?!

Peugeot Guy returns!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

May 29, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – While our intrepid Hero, the Sharkman, was out climbing mountains, approximately 17 riders showed up to ride the Memorial Day Saturday edition of the KK-TdG and in attendance was the famous, or should we say, infamous rider known as Peugeot Guy! It was Peugeot Guy’s first appearance of the season. Welcome back Peugeot! Sharkman was sorry to miss you! Bissell Boy was also able to break away from the kid’s soccer circuit to take part.

Though several Minions promised to write something up for the Belo News, no one wrote more than a sentence or two and all we can report is that Falcon won the sprint….. His only comment was he was glad Sharkman wasn’t there so he could win it easily…..


ROAD BLOCKS AND IRON HORSE JERSEY’S!

CHUMLY TAKES THE DAY!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

June 5, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – The Mighty Minion Nation was meet by a road crew this past week, as Battle Creek Street in Galesburg was being re-paved as the Minions started gathering at the start. There was quite a bit of excitement as the press clamored to get photographs of Sharkman and Yeti Boy in their respective Iron Horse Jersey’s. One of the great comments of the morning was when Zickman said to Yeti Boy, “So, you’re Yeti Boy?”

Belo News is going to have to publish a directory of names…..nah, too easy to identify the guilty!

As the Minions clicked in and headed out, the road crew had just spread fresh tar on the street, which created quite an obstacle course for the Nation as they headed out. Because riders were jumping on at the start and onward, it was difficult to identify who all was on the ride, but at one point, 18 riders were counted in the peloton!

The section between the Yorkville Church and Rt. 43 ended up being the NASCAR Section and again, the Sharkman surprised even himself by taking the sprint.

The Nation hung together pretty tough and each sprint was contested to the last.

As the peloton crossed the Digital Divide and entered the 3G Zone, the normal pace line was replaced with just plain super sonic speeds. With Minion Train was pretty clumped up and both Sharkman and Zickman attempted to break things up with attacks at the front.
Fearing a mass finish and the possibility of crashes, Sharkman threw himself on his sword and went back to the front to relieve a long pull by Zickman and he opened up a tiny gap. The Mighty Minion held back in wait as the Shark could see the massing hordes in his rearview mirror.

With about 100 yards to go the peloton pounced and the huge mass of Minions made there move to the finish! Sharkman described a mass blur as they went by and Chumly outdistanced A-Rod to take the tape. The rest of the peloton was so tight, that no one seemed to know who took the third spot on the podium.

So that get’s us all caught up on the action!

Unfortunately, Sharkman will be off this weekend attending a Family Reunion in Illinois this weekend. But the Minions will ride!

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

TEAM MASCOT DISPUTED!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

May 25, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – Just as soon as a new Minion Team Mascot was named, an age discrimination suit was filed with the Commissioner of Cycling. It appears that the Carter house hold had more than one dog and in an effort to get consideration for the job, Charlie sent in the attached photo claiming puppies may be cute, but do not have the maturity to be a responsible Minion Mascot. Besides, Charlie feels he looks better in his cycling kit and what say’s Minion better than looking good, eh? Besides, look at that pathetic face! Who could say no to this dog?

A hearing has been set for later this summer to settle the dispute.

WIN A RIDE IN THE MINION TEAM PORSCHE!

Belo News

GALESBURG, MI.

June 9, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – Everyone has been talking about the Spandex Stalker who has been photographing the peloton AND riding in the Minion Team Porsche! Who is that guy?

None other than Nikeboy, the Graham Watson of the Mighty Minion Nation.

And who doesn’t love that Porsche Team car, eh?

Well, you too can ride in the Team Car! Yes, send a self addressed envelope, along with a check made out to Nikeboy for $50 to Nikeboy’s address;

Nikeboy
Shark Cove, Almost
Battle Creek, Mi.

Yes, you can win an opportunity to get a ride in the Team Porsche! You too can be one of the paparazzi or the tofosi, who get to ride at the front, at the rear and even near to the peloton! And you will be driven by Nikeboy hisself, in his jawbone Nike sunglasses! Is this a great country or what? (Void where prohibited by law and some restrictions apply, like you have to take a shower and be bathed in sanitizer before getting into the vehicle and some other silly stuff.) Everyone’s a winner! Come on, what is $50 for a chance to ride in style!