FALCON MAKES IT TWO IN A ROW!

YETI BOY MAKES FIRST PODIUM FINISH!

DOES THE SHARK SWIM?



Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

April 24, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – The emails started coming into our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, at 10:48 p.m. on Friday night.

“Does the Shark swim in the rain?” – Yeti Boy

“We’ll find out in the morning!” – Sharkman replied at 10:54 p.m.

7:30 a.m. – “You riding?” – Falcon

7:32 a.m. – “Guess I’ll go to the start and decide there, looks like there is some clearing on the radar!” was Sharkman’s reply.

8:40 p.m. – “I’m running late!” – Falcon – What? How can that be?

Yes, you guessed it, the Minions rode on Saturday morning! Game on!

Though the rain threatened, it held off long enough so that four mighty Minions got their ride in on Saturday. Brewman, Falcon, Yeti Boy and our intrepid hero, the Sharkman came ready to ride…… Well, sort of…... Falcon, claiming he had already put his bike on the trainer to ride, was indeed late and delayed the start for around 10 minutes, but then it was game on!

The roads were remarkably dry for the amount of rain that had fallen overnight and the Minions speed moved up accordingly. Sharkman took the opening sprint with a lead out by the entire Minion Nation, as small as it was, with Brewman taking the second sprint uncontested.

Yeti Boy raced to the front and pulled the peloton up the col de Twin Lakes where he was overtaken by the group and Falcon took the next sprint. The peloton seemed to work together well through the Country Club section and it actually looked like the Skipper had swept Kellogg Corner as it was clear of gravel. Thanks Skipper!

Once the peloton summited the Col de Norte, and began to ride into the wind, a pace line formed up with 20 second turns at the front that was quite impressive for its precision this early in the season.

Yeti Boy took his first sprint ever at the Inlet Stop Ahead, much to the delight of the fans along the route. As the group crossed the digital divide the precision pace line continued to perform as a unit and stayed as such through the 3G zone.

As the fast moving train headed south for the final leg, Brewman took an awesome pull at the front of the peloton and once he got the Mighty Minion Nation over the summit, he took his foot off the gas as the rest of the pack began to form around him. As the finish loomed closer the peloton seemed to be joined at the hips while Falcon started moving up on the right side of the group, moving in on Brewman.

The speed picked up as Brewman allowed the group to pass and Falcon shot to the front while Sharkman and Yeti Boy fought to stay on his wheel.

Falcon took the tape, closely followed by Sharkman, while Yeti Boy made his first appearance on the podium finishing an impressive third!

The crowds were reduced on the Champs le Galesburg due to the threat of rain, but there was a large number of fans at the Klutch as Sooner had come in with his famous Soccer playing daughter, Rebekah, age 13 and her brother, Caleb, age 4 to sign autographs between soccer games. At the press conference, the peloton thanked Brewman for the tow into the finish as they sipped their joe and looked forward to next weeks ride.

SATURDAY – MAY 1, 2010 - Time Change!

The weather is looking a bit warmer for this weekend so we will move the time up and hope it doesn’t rain.

Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be There!

THE BEER RIDE IS BACK!

Battle Creek, Mi. - A long time reader, never rider, Calliou, is again planning his Famous Beer Ride. He sent out an email this week inviting any and all riders. We have edited it and are offering here to the Minions who are all invited.

From Calliou;

Last year, three intrepid explorers ventured out one fall Friday afternoon and made their way from Battle Creek to Kalamazoo by way of bike, stopping at a few local watering holes to refuel. Despite three weather cancellations and Michigan winter approaching, the ride was a success!

What better way to cap off a successful ride, then to do it again? This time we want some WARM weather, so we’re doing it in June. Come on out and join us. Nice ride, cool shirts, great beverages!

Calliou, who is organizing this ride needs to get an idea of the number of riders, so please respond to Sharkman on whether you plan on joining AND forward it on to anyone that might also be interested. All are welcome. This is a social ride and not a race.

The Info

What’s happening? A casual beer ride from Arcadia to Bell’s. Emphasis on beer and fun. This isn’t a race.

How far is the ride? The full ride is about 27 miles. Arcadia to Barking Frog is about 12 miles and the last 15 miles is from Barking Frog to Bell’s.

When’s this happening? Friday afternoon ride from Arcadia Brewery in Battle Creek to Bell’s Brewery in Kalamazoo. Tentative date is June 11. (the day after Calliou's birthday for those that wanted to know…).

When are we rolling? Noon brew at Arcadia followed by an approximate 12:30/1:00 start

How are we getting there? By bike (or car if you want to skip the exercise). We have a number of different types of riders. The full distance should be about 27 miles, but we’ll have a halfway point at the Barking Frog to pick up those that would like to focus less on the riding.

Just like last time, we’ll have cool shirts. What’s a ride without a cool shirt? Shirts should be about $10.

What if I don’t want to ride the full trip? There will be options to ride a shorter distance, possibly from Augusta.

When will more details be available? Judging interest from email responses, I’ll send out another email with more details over the next couple of weeks.

What if I just like to drink beer? By all means, skip the riding completely. You can either help as a support vehicle or just spend more time at Arcadia and Bell’s!

Please share this with anyone that might be interested. Contact Sharkman with any questions.

Thanks!

Calliou

Rainman's Rapha

2009 CONTINENTAL IN RETROSPECT from RAPHA on Vimeo.

FALCON NIPS RAINMAN!

RETURN OF BULLET BOB!

MIRACLE CURE!



Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

April 17, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – The buzz in the cycling world the past few weeks has been, “Where in the Hell has Bullet Bob been!” The longest serving Minion who singularly could blow up the bunch finish with his sprint skills each week had been absent thus far this season and Belo News was actually getting letters from Minions asking the big question, “Where in the world was Bullet Bob?”

Well the answer to that question got answered this week when the famous BB returned to the peloton! But Bullet Bob wasn’t the only Minion returning to the Mighty Minion Nation. Along with BB, Rainman made his triumphant return despite the chilly morning air, and A-Rod was back in the pack as well.

Rounding out the starters were Airman, Chumbly, Yeti Boy, Kid Doster, and Falcon who was whining about needing to “sit in” because he had some mountain bike race the next day. Yeah, sit in, right……

As the train pulled out of Galesburg, Gazelle Girl joined in and made the number an even 10 riders.

The morning wind out of the northwest was brutal. As a matter of fact, Sharkman, who rode over to the start, stated that he knew it was bad when he was pedaling down hill into Galesburg, with his heart rate in the LT zone and his sped at 3.4 mph. You could hear his HR monitor redlining, “Dive-Dive-Dive!”

Rainman was this week’s lead out man for our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, who took the first sprint and then surprised the cycling world by taking the second sprint when Falcon “sat in” and our intrepid hero stole it.

As the peloton crested the col de Twin Lakes, a medical miracle was witnessed by all the Minions. There, at the top of the hill, , the sun shining on the returning riders helmet like El Cid’s armor when he rode out of the castle to face the Turkish hordes, was none other than the miraculously healed Pirate, along with his side kick, the Skipper!

Yes, one mention in the Belo News Injured Reserve Report and the Pirate seemed to have been miraculously cured from his recent hand surgery! Alleluia!

Skipper and the Pirate were immediately welcomed into the peloton, which now numbered 12 riders as they all braved the strengthening winds out of the north.

Though the Skipper claimed to have swept Kellogg Korner, it still seemed to be loaded with gravel as the Minions motored their way into what has become, one of the fastest sections of the KK-TdG. A-Rod and Chumly were leading the pack at the turn after the Country Club when Chumly began his move. Just short of the stop ahead, Rainman launched a counter attack and working ahead of Chumly, he feigned one way, moved the other and then maneuvered to Chumly’s rear wheel for an instant, before moving around him to take the sprint my centimeters! What classic move!

The Mighty Minion Nation was pleased to make the Col de Norte and start the portion of the ride without the gale force wind in their faces.

As the peloton continued through the Bible Conference Hills, Sharkman made yet another move on the final hill and was quite sure he had the sprint secured when Falcon snuck up behind him and stole it at the line. “Sitting in” yeah, right….

Sharkman returned the favor at the Inlet sprint as Airman and Falcon began positioning to get the other to take the lead and while they were screwing around, Sharkman came out of no where and took his third and final sprint of the day.

Pirate and Skipper peeled off before the Digital Divide and the peloton formed up into its usual pace line after making the crossing. This pace line was not as coordinated as in weeks past and Gazelle Girl could not get into position to take yet another 3G Zone sprint, which went to A-Rod instead.

Heading south to the finish, the pace line formed up slowly, along with the speed. At the crest of the hill to the finish, Rainman and Falcon (sitting in….yeah, right) took off, with Kid Doster stuck to their wheels. As the finish line drew closer, their speed came down as they each attempted to get the other to take the lead. Kid Doster and Sharkman saw an opportunity to steal the sprint as the jockeying went on. However, both Rainman and Falcon were watching closely and the gap was too large to overtake them. As he did on the sprint at Rt. 43, Rainman made his patented move to put Falcon out in front but as he came back around, Falcon kicked it up enough to take Rainman at the tape by a millimeter, with Kid Doster close behind. Rainman just ran out of course……

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and as the riders approached the Klutch, Bissell Boy and Nikeboy were there to greet the returning riders in for Koffee and to sign autographs.

Jamie greeted the returning hero’s and Yeti Boy bought Koffee for the Sharkman, thus getting a mention in the Belo News. There was actually enough room for the riders to sit down this week. General discussion centered around Falcon’s “sitting in” (yeah, right) and then contesting the final sprint and whether he should be DQed or not, but the Commissioner ruled that the win stand.

Team Neighbor, Nikeboy, also gave Sharkman a well deserved ride home to the Cove in that great Acura Team Car! Sharkman is living the dream!

Another outstanding ride and you won’t want to this weeks edition!


INJURY REPORT

Galesburg, Mi. – As reported last week, we have several Minions on the Injured Reserve list, however after mentioning the Pirate in last weeks write up, he was miraculously cured and has returned to the fold. So if you’re injured, this is one list you want to be on!

Nikeboy is again riding, but only slowly, as he tries to get his back mended and his butt on the bike.

All Black has been diagnosed with a herniated disc and will be out for the next few weeks.

It has been reported that Hossman injured his pinkie finger while playing soccer with his kids. Can you do that? Not likely. Inside sources have revealed that he dislocated the finger while carrying cases of bike tubes into his garage and trying to fit too many of them into his seat wedge at the same time. Those tubes can leave a nasty mark when they snap back at you!

Meanwhile, and on a more serious note, our prayers still go out to Bianchi Boy who is still in the ICU of Cleveland Clinic awaiting surgery.

To all our Minions – Get Well Soon!

TEAM ACTIVE TIME TRIALS!

Every Tuesday Evening!

Battle Creek, Mi. - Have you ever wanted to try the “Dance of Death,” or “Race of Truth,” also known as the “Race against the clock?” Well here is your chance, Bunkie!

The Time Trial is one of the greatest tests in cycling and you can now do it by test yourself against, .....well….yourself! Yep, it is just you against the clock, ......mano y mano! 6.2 miles of pain! Is this a great country or what?!

Team Active has announced that they are sponsoring Time Trials on Tuesday nights in Battle Creek. As a matter of fact, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman did his first this week and ruled the 10K course OUTSTANDING and Minion worthy!

Riders can either meet behind Team Active at 6:30 p.m. to ride out to the start or ride out to the start on their own. The start is on River Road behind the Veteran Administration Facility. The start is just west of Custer Drive (also known as Clark Drive) and runs out to Dickman Road and returns. It is very informal and you time yourself (that is why we think the Sharkman was so fast!). If you are riding over from Augusta, you can simply catch River Road directly across from the Fort Custer State Park entrance and ride to the start. The course is well paved, lightly traveled and could be described as “gently rolling.”

Come on out and see what all the pain is about, Bunkie!


SATURDAY RIDE!

The weather is looking bit cool and possibly, rainy, so remember, Minions ride in the rain, but do not START in the rain.

Since it is still cool, the time will remain at 9:00 A.M.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Photo Acknowledgement

Photo taken by Nikeboy from two weeks ago.

(We didn't take any this week, that's why!)

BREWMAN TAKES THE WIN!

ELEVEN HEARTY MINIONS BRAVE THE COLD!

NEW RECORD FOR FLAT TIRES?

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

April 10, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – How great was the weather this past weekend? Well, the photo to the right should give you an indication of how good it was, so good the Minions enjoyed their koffee outside! Well, good weather and the fact that the Klutch was full of cycling fans awaiting their hero’s arrival left little room for the riders to sit down!

It was a bit cold on Saturday morning, so our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, decided to drive to the start. He was greeted by none other than Chumly, Yeti Boy and much to his surprise, Sooner who was making his first season start. Shortly after, Airman arrived and then in rode Bissell Boy, accompanied by Stryker Guy and Son of Stryker Guy, herein known as Hockey Boy.

As the Mighty Minion Nation motored by the Klutch, Hossman jumped on to the train, making it 10 riders. As has become the norm, Gazelle Girl met the Minions heading north of Galesburg and then they were 11 riders!

Game on!

Airman was a bit spunky early in the ride and led our intrepid hero, the Sharkman to the first sprint. After taking the second sprint, Hossman flatted at the base of the col de Twin Lakes and Sharkman went back to oversee the repairs. Sharkman seems to be very adept at telling others how to fix a flat. Hossman is working on a season record for flat tires and we aren't even half way through April!

After the peloton passed through Kellogg Korner, which was loaded with gravel, the peloton picked up it’s usual pace to Indy 500 speeds and the race was on!

After the Rt. 43 sprint, which was taken by Brewman, Bissell Boy went to the front and pulled the mighty Minion Nation to the foot of the col de Norte, where the riders scattered up the hill like ants on a sugar cube.

As the group crossed the Digital Divide, the usual pace line formed up in a way that rivaled the form of a late season attempt at this otherwise difficult maneuver. Running like a fine tuned Ferrari, the Mighty Minion Train was in go mode. Prior to getting to what has now become known as the 3 G zone because of Gazelle Girls frequent sprint wins, Stryker Guy cramped up and pulled to the side of the road. Sharkman mentioned to Son of Stryker Guy, Hockey Boy, that his Dad had cramped, to which he said, “Yeah?” then put his head down and kept going! So much for good old Dad!

Meanwhile, Gazelle Girl had once again cleverly positioned herself perfectly in the pace line to take the G Ave. sprint, endorsing the decision to call the G Ave. crossing the 3 G Zone!

Stryker Guy was able to get the cramps under control and rejoined the peloton for the final assault to the finish.

Sharkman jumped out early and lead the peloton down 37th, before Chumly came up and took over. Airman and Sooner got close as the entire peloton began to get into position for the final attack.

From out of no-where, Hockey Boy shot out and Sharkman, who had been sitting in behind Airman waiting for him to make a move, grabbed Hockey Boys wheel, going around Airman and Chumly to affect his escape from the pack. Sharkman, riding Hockey Boy’s wheel like a rented mule, waited till the final moment to make his attack. With just yards to go, Sharkman came around Hockey Boy on his right, thoroughly convinced of the win when he noticed a flash going by to his left.

It was none other than the swift and sure Brewman as he flew by the pack to take the finish while Sharkman fought off the surging Sooner by inches for second place. Sharkman thanked Hockey Boy for the awesome tow as he noted the average speed for the ride at 17.9 mph despite stopping for a flat.

The crowd’s went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as riders zipped up their jersey’s for their sponsor’s, waved to fans and stopped to sign autographs.

It was standing room only at the Klutch as most of the riders took part in the press conference. It was so crowded, Bissell Boy suggested sitting outside and Chumly was kind enough to shoot the attached photo of the Minions enjoying their Joe! Is this a great country or what?

The speed is picking up and the weather is getting warmer! You won’t want to miss this weeks ride so come on out! See ride details below.

INJURY REPORT

Galesburg, Mi. – The Mighty Minion Nation has had quite a bout of injuries in the early season. As we all know, Nikeboy is still suffering from back problems and can only do minimal training. The Pirate is still out after hand surgery and this week, All Black missed this weeks ride with lower back problems. He is hoping to ignore common sense, as well as the doctor’s recommendation and return to the peloton soon. Now that is a great Minion attitude!

Our good friend and fellow Minion, Jeff Webster, AKA Bianchi Boy is also experiencing health problems and is in the Cleveland Clinic ICU awaiting surgery to repair some tears in his lower Aorita (big veins running from his heart down his legs). Keep our fellow Minion and Celebrity Rider in your prayers!

To all the injured Minions – Get Well Soon!

GOOD BYE, SPECIMEN

San Francisco, Ca. – A legend has left the Minion Peloton. The guy with one of the best and most unique names ever granted in the Mighty Minion Nation, "the Specimen," has taken a new job and is returning home to northern California. Who can forget “the Specimen” even though it has been a while since he has ridden with the Minion’s?

The name will forever live in the lore of Miniondom and in his honor (and to the thanks of future Minion’s) the name will be retired into the Minion Hall of fame and shall herein never be reused. There is only one Specimen!

Good Luck and best wishes to you, Specimen! We hope to catch up with you when next we ride in S.F! You better have beer in the house!

THIS SATURDAY’S RIDE!

This Saturday, April 17, 2010!

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. SHARP!

Be There!

RECORD SPRING TURNOUT!

SQUEAKY RETURNS TO THE PELOTON!

TEAM CARS, PHOTO'S & KOFFEE?

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

April 3, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, launched out of his Shark Bed on Saturday morning, he could smell the spring blossoms and feel the warm morning air through the Coves open windows! It was another outstanding weather day! Game on! The old Shark decided to ride to the start!

Upon arrival our hero was pleased to find 11 Minions ready to ride! Brewman and All Black were there after riding on Friday with the Sharkman, as well as Kid Doster and Raider Rick, who had not been around for a while. Ace Reporter, Dr. Dave, was in attendance after his western swing through ski country, as well as Wildman on his new Serotta, looking pretty cool. Dutch, and the Skipper were also on the scene and Airman was there sporting some new Zipp Wheels, living the Minion credo that if you can’t be good, look good! Oh, and Airman and Wildman were looking good!

Filling out the starting lineups was a long time reader, first time rider, Da Yoop, who had been taking some trash talk from the Iceman, who was not in attendance. Hey, what’s that all about?

The Skipper got things in order quickly and as is tradition, started the Mighty Minion Nation through Galesburg and on past the Klutch. As the Minion Train climbed the first hill out of town, Gazelle Girl approached rounding out the starters to 12 riders.

The Minions were very social in the first part of the ride, but the attacks came hard and fast at the col de Twin Lakes. As the Minion Nation crested the hill, they were greeted by Minion Photographer and team car driver, Nikeboy who get’s credit for the great shots in this week’s Belo News!

The speed picked up through Kellogg Korner and it was obvious that the Minions were starting to get their winter legs worked into summer shape.

The riders regrouped at the summit of the col de Norte to take another look at the marijuana house. We don’t know why this has become such an attraction, but suffice it to say, it has.

As the Mighty Minion Nation moved on to the C Ave. stop ahead, a familiar rider was spotted approaching from Frona’s. The Minions were not sure if the hat under his helmet was a dead animal or very wooly toque but he was quickly identified as the legendary Squeaky with insulated garden gloves, torn bike shorts and his ever present handle bar tape hanging from one side of the bike. A cheer went up in the peloton as everyone recognized Sqeaky had returned to the peloton for the weekend! There were now 13 mighty Minions in the nations peloton! This might be a spring record for the first week in April and officials went to the record books to check!

After crossing the Digital Divide, Sharkman attempted to put a pace line together, but it kept falling apart. Early spring we guess……

Raider Rick then lost a tail light in that section (do these roads suck or what?) and when Brewman went back to help him look for it, his seat came loose, causing the Minions to have to wait at the G Ave. crossing, a sprint that Gazelle Girl took going away. She owns that sprint and thus, consideration is being given to calling it the GGG crossing (Gazelle Girl G Crossing).

The Minions then formed a better version of a pace line heading south to the final stop ahead and the positioning for the final sprint began in earnest.

Of course, in keeping with the Spring Spirit, you have to come out and ride to find out who took the sprint, but suffice it to say it was a very closely contested jaunt to the Stop Ahead.

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and the frenzy continued into the Klutch where Nikeboy was waiting and had purchased the joe for EVERYONE! Yes, you heard that right, EVERYONE! The atmosphere was done right festive at the Klutch as Jamie served seconds on the Koffee and the Minions relived the days escapades. Over and over and over!

Final average speed moved up to 17.8 mph this week!

Nikeboy then gave Sharkman a ride home in the Team Car (love that Acura Team car!)

Nikeboy takes photo's, buy's Koffee and gives the Sharkman a ride home? Is this a great country or what? You bet your sweet patooti it is!

Falcon later reported that on his way home he got motor paced by the Skipper and Dr. Dave when they overtook him in their car on G ave up the Cul de Twin Lakes. A Sheriff’s Deputy reported clocking him at 40 mph on the flats between the lakes and 30 + on the col!

Hey, no motor pacing allowed!

You won’t want to miss next week’s edition of the KK-TdG!

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!

BE THERE!

MINIONS REPORTING IN!

Battle Creek, Mi. - When we put out the request last week to update the distribution list we were amazed at the response! To be honest, there are late Wednesday nights when we are putting the Belo News together wondering if anyone is actually reading it. We’ve chosen a few choice responses to share with our readers:

“down in FL.
Great write-up Sharkman! Renew my subscription!

How 'bout Cleary's nickname......Compression Boy?”

- Iceman


“hey sharky-keep me on the list-will show up in may-running borgess 1/2 m 24th april-then back to biking thank god! be safe”

- zickman


“Please keep me on as a form of inspiration.”

- Anonymous

“Please keep me on the list...I enjoy the insights offered by the Sharkman!”

- Anonymous

“What a great cycling publication! Please renew my subscription!”

Eddy Merckx


“The best publication in cycling! Keep me on the list! Is this a great country or whatski?

- Bob Roll

“Some of the most insightful sports writing I’ve ever seen! Keep up the great work!”

- Phil Liggett

Remember, we are cleaning up the distribution list, so if you haven’t renewed, please let us know if you want to stay on the distribution!

See you Saturday!