SHARK MINIONS ROCK THE SOUTH ROUTE!!!

GREAT TURN OUT FOR WAM MEMORIAL!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation 
ready to rock!

GREATEST DOWN HILL FINISH IN THE CYCLING WORLD!!

IT'S BEER KIT SATURDAY THIS WEEK!!!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IT COMING SOON!!!

DO YOU HAVE YOUR RSVP IN YET!??!

NEW SHARLET COMING TO THE PELOTON?!?

Sharkman, sporting his new helmet,
gets into the act!!

Belo News

August 6, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and warm over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was stretching and yawning as he rolled out from under his Shark Bed Spread. 

His entourage had all checked in the previous evening and it sounded like they would be back together again after a too long hiatus. The ole Shark was particularly excited about riding the south route on this day as it had been a long time and he dreamed of all the money he would be raking in from charging for the many sights along the way!

Rainman's new ride! 
What a beauty!!

As he donned his WAM jersey he also thought of the all of his beloved Shark Minion Nation and how gratefull he was for having them all in his life! He considers himself to be the luckiest Shark alive!!!

Yeti Boy, just back from doing good in the U.P. helping to repair/paint a landmark lighhouse, was pretty excited as well as he was a few minutes early for launch!

The two riders showed up early at the rendevous point and after crossing Helmer had to wait for Reb and Fire.......🙄

Fire, just back from doing the RAGBRAI and taking the week off, along with Yeti who had only ridden once while he was gone, were both feeling like race horses who had been given their freedom and immedately took off, leaving Sharkman to listen to Dickus Maxximus Reb complain about the early pace over to the start.

Sharkman and Reb reeled the thorobreads in on at the downhill into that thriving metropolis known as Galesburg.

At the start, the riders came piling in!!

Rainman catches up with Hoosier Boy
after Sharkman apologized 
for the typo a couple
of weeks ago!

First off, Rainman was back and he was on his new ride! The veteran Shark Minion commented he now had a bike that was worth more than his car!!! 😜

But that Specialized is a real beauty! He also annouced a new Sharklet on the way!!! Congratulations to Rainman and Rachel on the new Sharklet!!!

Hermster, the Ironman of the mighty Shark Minion Nation was back, extending his streak of consecutive Shark Minion rides!

Wildman was back after doing the abbreviated WAM Ride and was able to give the Nation a bit more detailed information on the crash.

As the Shark Minions lined up for the start photo, there was no Gazelle Girl, no Toestter? Wait.....what!?! She never misses a start!

Fire, Hermster and Wildman ready
to ride!

Waiting until 8:29 and a half, the start photo was taken and Sharkman led his mighty Shark Minions in a moment of silence in memory of the loss of the two WAM riders the previous week and in prayerful hope for the three riders still fighting for their lives.

After the photos, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter came riding in, apologizing for their tardiness due to dogs that would not cooperate on their bathroom schedule......🙄 🐶.....

As the sound of shoes clicking into pedals rang out in the countryside, the mighty Shark Minion train pulled out of the station as Sharkman led them on a tour of the path leading behind the Galesburg Fire Deparment, Post ffice etc. Since it was a new sight, Sharkman knocked the price down to $.50 for all of the attractions. The Sharkman seemed to be in a very good mood on the day.....

Reb broke out another 
cycling T shirt! 
"Suck it in, Reb!"

However, the detour around downtown Galesburg, though beautiful, seemed to take a bit longer as the Nation headed towards the first, and really only hill on the South Route.

Fire and Reb rocketted up QMan Hill with a cast of thousands on their wheel. Game on and no honorary sprints on the south route.

Past Hawk Alley, Sharkman's favorite house on the course, on to "The Water Fall" (which was difficult to see due to all the "foliage!") The Ox Farm, Cooks Cemetary, the Elf Tree, etc. you could hear Sharkman shouting out the sights and "$.50, no change!!!"

The peloton seemed to continually break into smaller groups as some lead riders skirted out ahead while others chatted it up in back. It was a great day to draft, as the lack of both wind and hills made that a bit easier to do. It was yet, another fantastic Saturday morning in the mighty Shark Minion Nation as they traversed the Indial Lake Golf course, the industrial farm and on into the Old Mill in Scotts, now famous for the scene when Yeti Boy got taken out by the dog during Covid and road home using one leg!

Yeti Boy was back!!!

When the Nation got to 37th street and head north, back to Galesburg, the peloton picked it up a notch and drafted as one to the MN Sprint finish in the run up to the "Greatest Downhill Finish" in the world of cycling!

Everyone cautioned everyone else that it was important to hold lines, ride defensively, but to enjoy the fantastic descent into the Kalamazoo Valley and back into Galesburg.

Before anyone seemed to realize what was happening, Skittles, Wildman, Gazelle Girl and Rainman went to the front and broke off from the peloton! Riders seemed stunned as the pace picked up right from the MN crossing and down the first slope towards the finish.

The Nation tried in van to catch back on but by the time they got to the I-94 crossing, it was a race for 5th place with Shark Minions scattered all over the hill and the 4 rider pack fighting it out for the podium.

Fire headed out from Sharkman's pack with Reb on her wheel, so Sharkman went out as well, passing his Wingman, Yeti Boy. But Yeti came right back and the two riders decided to go after Dickus Maximus to try to give him his own medicine, a Dick Move finish!!!

Bissell Boy had cleaned out
his jersey's and couldn' find
his WAM Kit! Oh, the
humanity!!

But it was not to be as Reb saw them coming and told Fire, who's wheel he was riding to pick up the speed!

Meanwhile at the front, the foursome of Skittles, Rainman, Wildman and Gazelle Girl seemed to easily maintain their lead into the turn and on to the finish, ending in that order with Skittle taking the top prize on the "Greatest Downhill Finish" in the world of Cycling! Max speed was around 33 mph. Average on the ride was just south of 19 mph.

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg went wild as the hero's headed to the Klutch for the press conference. The Paparazzii and Tofosi were excited to see that Legend, known as Stryker Guy was back from his pilgrimage of the St. James Way in Portugal where he had Masrsha walked over 300 miles!

The Klutch was rocking and Reb bellied up to the barrista bar and ordered Bottomless for everyone!!!

Dickus Maximus bought the koffee! Is this a great country or what!!?? Thanks Reb!!!

Even Fabio showed up to have koffee and show us the dog collar that Masha bought for him! Zykchmanne informed us she had set the intensity of the shock low so he could still run around the lake......😏

It had been easily the hotest ride of the year, not only in temperature but in competition!

Luke Skywalker was back
in the mix!!!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition when the Nation goes back to that Field of Dreams known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull and does it in their Best Beer Kit!!!

This Saturday! August 13 (Uh, oh...), 2022!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Beer Jersey Kit Day!!!

That's right Bunkie, dig out that beer jersey and ride! Not to many of these beautiful sunny Saturday's left and you don't want to miss it!!!

Be there!!

The legend known as Stryker Guy
was back in the Nation!

Rainman returns to the Nation!!!

Skittles in his signature kit!!!

Geico was back! Sharkman hadn't 
seen him since before Covid!1
Welcome back, Geico!!

The Klutch was rocking!!!

Reb wanted a shot with his hero!

Don't know why the winner, Skittles, didn't 
want his face in the photo? Maybe in the Witness
Protection Program?

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS....NOW!!!

GET THOSE RSVP's IN.......NOW!!

Belo News

August 10, 2022

Triple Nasty Ranchero/Zickmann Estate; 

Well Shark Minions it is that time again!!! 

All the information is in this attached poster for this years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!!!

Speaking of the poster, what kind of warped people designed that! Answer? The same two who are hosting the bash!!! Oh, the humanity!!

This annual day of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, yummy bake goods from Yeti Boy and pizza and beer is upon us again!!! Who can resist this opportunity!!!

So mark you calendars NOW and get that RSVP into Gazelle Girl for the planning!!

Any biker who is a biker will be there!!

Well, Bunkie, what are you waiting for!!! Do it now before you forget!!!

Hope to see the Shark Nation in force for this fun filled day of debauchery!!!

Oh, the humanity!!! This IS a great country!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SHARKMAN TAKES THE TAPE!!!

WAIT......WHAT????

Mighty Shark Minion Nation 
ready to rock the KK-TdG!

INVESTIGATION IMMEDIATELY LAUNCHED!!

RIDE ALMOST CANCELED BUT BISSELL BOY

SAVES THE DAY!!!

Actually, the ole Shark might
be getting better. However,
he did cut off Bissell Boy....😏

WAM KIT WEEK THIS SATURDAY IN MEMORY OF

THOSE LOST AND INJURED LAST WEEK!

SOUTH ROUTE THIS WEEKEND!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP SOON!!!!

Belo News

July 30, 2022

As dawn broke a bit crisp but clear over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was ready to rock!!

After celebrating Yeti Boys birthday on the previous evening, he knew that his wingman would be gone for the ride this fine day.

But, the ole Sharkman always has Reb at the ready! Well, that and the fact he likes to get his name in Belo News......

Reb sporting his "T" shirt.
The man is working on the "Style
Guy" position!

The ride over was uneventful as the two rode leisurely to the start. Sharkman was already regretting putting on a tech T under his jersey as the sun started to heat up his dorsal.

They arrived first to the start, followed by Brewman, who was making his return to the Nation after a hiatus. Hermster arrived, continuing his streak of perfect attendance on this perfect weather day!

The crowd started to fill in as Sharkman prepared to take the start photo but noticed a count of 13 riders in the peloton. The Shark Minions are fully aware of the Sharkman's superstition of the number 13 began to fear he might cancel the ride when just as he was starting to complain, in rode Bissell Boy to save the day!! Then Greyhound saved the day for a second time, making it 15 riders, a number that takes away the obligation for Sharkman to remember everyone who was riding!!!

Is this a great country or what?!? 

The mighty Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station at 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! and headed through town. After a wave to all the paparazzi at the Klutch, they headed out to that field of dreams they all lovingly call the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!

A perfect mornng on the road!!!

Brewman making his return 
to the Nation!

Sharkman moved up and down the peloton pressing the flesh like he was running in the primary the following Tuesday. But he eventually worked his way back to the front to latch on to Dr. Dave who is riding in top form this summer. Dr. Dave lauched the Shark to his honorary sprint and he was north of 24 mph as he crossed the stop ahead to the cheers of his ones of followers.......

Bissell Boy took the next sprint without any response from the peloton and as the mighty Shark Minion Nation moved north to the Col de Twin Lakes, Falcon rode up ready to ride. They were now 16 riders!

Falcon commented that he "would hold on as long as he could," which Sharkman took to mean he had not been riding.

The Shark Minion train worked their way up the Col de Twin Lakes with Bissell Boy pulling Sharkman to the top! Thanks Bissell Boy!!!

The section past the Yorkville Church, on through Kellogg Korner and past the Kountry Klub was its usual swift, rolling ride as the Nation clung together and the sun warmed their backs.

It was only at the stop after the stop ahead sprint at Rt. 43 that Sharkman realized OKC was back in the peloton! OKC hadn't been back since before Covid and Belo News regrets not getting a photo of him, but welcome back, OKC!!!

Everyone came together at the summit of the Col de Norte and didn't even stop as they made the turn, heading toward the Zichkmanne Estate and into the Holy Rollers. Falcon and Toesetter took turns at the front as the Shark Minions snaked their way to the Feed Stop sprint.

Sasquatch was back!

It should be noted here that three separete times on the ride someone shouted out "Car Back!" only to realize it was Hermster making a move with those carbon fiber wheels that sound like a car is moving up behind the riders!

After a complete and safe STOP at the inlet, the Nation had to make a fast crossing of the Digital divide where Toesetter set the pace, along with Faclon and Gazelle Girl.

Gazelle Girl seemed on a mission as she stayed on the wheel of her main squeeze as they approached the final GGG Spot Sprint. They stayed locked together for the embrace of victory ahead!

Timing her hypnotic move perfectly, she rocketed out from Toesetters wheel and took the the move up to a crescendo of timing as she captured the finish as a mighty cheer went up from the rest of the peloton for the "Sweetheart of the Peloton!" 

"It was a victory for America!!!"

The Senator was back
in the mix!

After crossing G Ave., Sharkman shot to the front to try to get the Nation moving. 

In what is becoming a "Signature Move" for Hermster, he shot ahead like a kernal of oat shot from a cannon, wheels screaming like a Indy 500 car while he moved around the Nation!

Falcon moved to the front of the paceline and where Sharkman jumped on to his wheel. Sharkman sat in and rode Falcon like a rented mule. Knowing Falcons instinct to make a move on the final sprint, Sharkman thought he would hold on as long as he could so he could watch the finish.

Falcon seemed to be in no rush to chase down Hermster but as the rest of the peloton moved up, they slowly reeled Hermster back in.

As the fast moving frieght train approached the final ascent to the finish, it was like a school of hungery sharks trying to get in postion for the feeding frenzy ahead. It was if they could smell blood in the water and Sharkman was hoping it wasn't his!?! You could taste the tension!!

Hermster began to drop back, as well as Falcon, at the top of the hill and through the start of the descent to the finish! However, both came back strong again for the downhill section and it seemed like the entire Nation was in the mix as the finish quickly approached.

Bounty Hunter was back, and
Sharkman apologized again
for the Belo News typo!

As the Shark Minions began the downhill section to the finish, Toesetter went to the front with Gazelle Girl again on his wheel! Riders responded and continued to jockey for position in preparaton for their final moves.

Sharkman again grabbed Falcon's wheel as they began to move up in the peloton as they all bore down on the finish line.

Sharkman, thinking about all the time he had spent at the back of the peloton on the day, seemed to give him just enough energy to time a move past Falcon.

After going around Falcon, and with Toesetter and Sasquatch, Greyhound and Bounty Hunter right there, Sharkman was actually was able to take it up a notch to edge out a fast charging Sasquatch. Bounty Hunter also put in a huge push at the end to take the 3rd spot on the podium.

It was a Victory for America, ......again!

Shark was estatic with his win and though he recorded a max speed of 33 mph, which for the old Shark is pretty good, he also had suspicions that some of the younger Shark Minions might have backed off to give the Patron of the Shark Minion Nation the win. Therefore he has announced a major investigation and those Shark Minions in attendance on the day can expect to be served a subpeona! 

Drug Czar also got another 
apology from Sharkman 😔!

The tofosi and paparazzi on the Champs le Galesburg went wild! Not so much that Sharkman took the sprint but more that Zichkmaanne (aka Fabio), who the Nation hasn't seen much of this summer, was waiting at the Klutch and had bought the koffee!!! 

Thanks Fabio! 

It WAS a victory for America!

The Klutch was rocking as the Nation downed Bottomless Koffee's and talked about the perfect morning of riding!

On a more serious and sad note, later in the day it was learned that there had been a very bad accident at the at the WAM ride where a SUV crossed the center line to pass someone and hit 5 oncoming WAM riders, killing two of them and severely injuring the other three. Those three injured riders were reported in critical condition. 

The driver of the SUV drive has been charge with driving while under the influence.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the those riders and their families, the other WAM Rider, as well as the organizers.

As a result, this Saturday's ride has been designate as WAM Kit Saturday. The ride will begin with a moment of silence for those WAM Riders that were lost. 

So if you are a WAM rider or a veteran of WAM, dig out your old kit and come on out.

The Nation will also be riding the South Route this Saturday due to the Shermanator Race.

Shark Minions do not want to miss the most exciting downhill finish in the cycling world or the fantastic sights that Sharkman hizzelf will be pointing out along the route!

Is this a great country or what?!?🇺🇸

Saturday, August 6, 2022 - WAM Kit Saturday!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be There!!!

The Iron Man of the Nation!
Perfect attendance!

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton"

Bissell Boy rides in to make
it 14 riders!!!

Snow White ready to ride!!!

Ah, .......Bottomless Kups of Koffee!

Fabio hizzelf!!!

The Klutch was rocking!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS....NOW!!!

GET THOSE RSVP's IN.......NOW!!

Belo News

August 4, 2022

Triple Nasty Ranchero/Zickmann Estate; 

Well Shark Minions it is that time again!!! 

All the information is in this attached poster for this years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!!!

Speaking of the poster, what kind of warped people designed that! Answer? The same two who are hosting the bash!!! Oh, the humanity!!

This annual day of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, yummy bake goods from Yeti Boy and pizza and beer is upon us again!!! Who can resist this opportunity!!!

So mark you calendars NOW and get that RSVP into Gazelle Girl for the planning!!

Any biker who is a biker will be there!!

Well, Bunkie, what are you waiting for!!! Do it now before you forget!!!

Hope to see the Shark Nation in force for this fun filled day of debauchery!!!

Oh, the humanity!!! This IS a great country!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

RAIN? WHAT RAIN?

The radar at 8:19 a.m.
Saturday! Oh, the 
humanity!

SHARKMAN'S HUGE MISTAKE?

WAIT, ....WHAT? 

SHARKMAN MADE A MISTAKE???

OH YES HE DID!!!!

LET'S DO IT AGAIN THIS WEEKEND BUT ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

HERMSTERS PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD!?!

GOOD LUCK TO THE WAM RIDERS THIS WEEKEND!!!

Belo News

July 23, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke wet and cool over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, threw back his Shark bedspread and jumped from his warm, dry bed and ran straight to the Shark Radar! With his shark face aglow with green light, it was immediatly apparent the ride might be in jeopardy.

Say it ain't so!!!!

However, it did look like the storm was fast moving and even though it showed rain over that field of dreams every Shark Minion lovingly knows as the KK-TdG, it did not seem to be raining at the Shark Cove.

Sharkman was sitting on the porch, watching the radar when a huge lightening strike hit that shook the Shark Cove so hard it woke up Lava Girl! It completely lit up the backyard as it echoed throughout the back woods. Sharkman doesn't like lightening.....😱

Lava Girl began telling our intrepid hero to bag the ride! But Sharkman was thinking otherwise!

As Sharkman pulled
into the start!

Sharkman immediately texted Yeti Boy and Gazelle Girl to get an opinion (Reb wasn't riding so would only tell us to ride/plus he likes to see his name in Belo News, so here you go Reb). It was still early and there was not only some time to monitor, but it still looked like the worst of the storm was moving south of the Field of Dreams.

Drug Czar checked in with an email asking if the ride was still on and by then it was determined that Sharkman and Yeti Boy would drive over and make the call from the start. However, Sharkman, Yeti Boy and Gazelle Girl were all working under the assumption that Launch Time was at the regular 8:30 a.m. - SHARP start time. While Drug Czar, along with her wingman Bounty Hunter were operating under the assumption that the start time was what had been printed in your source for all you cycling information, Belo News! Oh, the humanity! Sharkman had made a mistake and did not know it!!!.......yet!

Sharkman loaded up his faithful steed, helmet and shoes into the Shark Mobile and headed to the start. It had still not started to rain at the Shark Cove and the roads were pretty dry until he decended from the Eaton Plant down into the thriving metropolis known as Galesburg. Though the road into Galesburg was wet, after he crossed the Kalamazoo River the village streets seemed dry. Strange weather....

As he pulled into the start, he got a message on his phone "Lightening Alert - Current Location!" "How appropriate..." he thought as he got out of the Shark Mobile and greated Wildman who apparently did not read the blog and did not have the correct kit fot he day. Yeti Boy then pulled in and he had on the original Shark Minion Kit so he had mis-read the blog. Hermster was there and is well ahead in the "perfect attendance" competition and may have locked it up for the season.

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" rode in to a shout out from Sharkman, complete with the correct kit. A furvent reader of Belo News and usually and Ace editor, she must have also missed the time mistake in Belo News!

As they did one last check of the radar, they looked to the north and saw a break in the clouds and knew the ride would go forward. 

Where's your Anniversary Kit
Wildman?

Still oblivious to the time mistake, they wondered where Drug Czar and Bounty Hunter were but assumed they had begged off, as the weather seemed worse in Kalamazoo. It was only learned later that they had launched at 8 a.m. looking for the mighty/tardy Shark Minion Nation!

Oh, the humanity!!!

Sharkman asked Wildman, with his long arms, to take the selflie start photo, but he was not quite as adept at it as he had been in the past.....

At 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! the five riders launched from the school and headed through town to the start.

Sharkman was in no rush to get to his honorary start, which seemed to set the stage for a very mello jaunt through that beloved Field of Dreams the Shark Nation knows as the KK-TdG.

After the honorary sprint and before the nest sprint, the Shark Minions witnessed quite a lightening bolt cross the sky, well south of their location but somewhat frightening none the less. This began a discussion of rides in lightening, hiding in barns, and general stories of near miss lightening strikes. Yikes! 😱

The five riders shared time at the front, most sprints were either uncontested or tied and it was only at the GGG Spot Sprint that the speed really picked up when the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" took the tape with a lead out by Sharkman. 

It was a victory for America!!!

The fearsome 5!
Nice try Wildman....

As the Nation headed south to the final sprint, Sharkman went to the front to pull with Gazelle Girl on his wheel, followed by Yeti Boy and Hermster.

Gazelle Girl commented that with the pull, Sharkman should get the win, but he stated to bring it on and Wildman immediately went to the front. Sharkman latched on to his rear wheel and held on like he was fighting for the last french fry on the plate!

The entire peloton moved foward and they all crossed the finish together, a photo finish, making it the second victory for America on the day!!! 

Is this a great country or what!?!

Gazelle Girl!!!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's approached the Koffee Klutch where Yeti Boy, wanting to celebrate his birthday a week early becuase he will be gone this week (well, that and there were only 4 for koffee 🥴), threw down his credit card! 

Thanks Yeti Boy and happy Birthday!!!

Skittle also showed up at the Klutch stating he had slept in on the morning and missed the start! 

Happy Birthday Yeti Boy!

The group discussed the poor turnout for the ride, but fluffed it off to the "iffy" weather.

It was later learned that Hoosier Boy also read the blog (thanks HB!) and arrived a bit late for what he thought was an 8 a.m. Launch. He rode out on the course backwards hoping to catch the Shark Nation coming back. When he did not find them, he went back to the Klutch and waited until nearly 10 a.m. for the Shark Minions. The Shark Minions did return to the Klutch and must have just missed him, arriving shortly after 10 a.m.

Sharkman went home completely oblivious to the time problem until he got some emails with photographic evidence from Drug Czar, Bounty Hunter and Hoosier Boy that they had ridden, thinking that Sharkman and crew had skipped out due to the weather!

Sharkman spent the afternoon sending apologies to the wronged parties, vowing that it would not happen again. As a matter of fact, Sharkman could not remember having ever gotten the start time wrong before. However, and is should be stated now, with 73 years under his dorsal, it might be the begining of a lot of errors! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

Bounty Hunter & Drug Czar a 
bit early!

Hoosier Boy at some time 
on Saturday Morning!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition and hopefully the might Shark Minion Nation will be on the same Launch Time and there will be no rain!!!

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!!!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS....NOW!!!

GET THOSE RSVP's IN.......NOW!!

Belo News

July 27, 2022

Triple Nasty Ranchero/Zickmann Estate; 

Well Shark Minions it is that time again!!! 

All the information is in this attached poster for this years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!!!

Speaking of the poster, what kind of warped people designed that! Answer? The same two who are hosting the bash!!! Oh, the humanity!!

This annual day of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, yummy bake goods from Yeti Boy and pizza and beer is upon us again!!! Who can resist this opportunity!!!

So mark you calendars NOW and get that RSVP into Gazelle Girl for the planning!!

Any biker who is a biker will be there!!

Well, Bunkie, what are you waiting for!!! Do it now before you forget!!!

Hope to see the Shark Nation in force for this fun filled day of debauchery!!!

Oh, the humanity!!! This IS a great country!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SKITTLES TO THE RESCUE!!!

GUEST COLUMNIST!!?

Skittles and "the Gang!!!"
photo by Skittles and well done!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP SOON!!!

THIS SATURDAY IS SHARK MINION ANNIVERSARY KIT DAY!!

Belo News

July 16, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - While our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was in Canada, attending a photography workshop, Skittles came to the rescue to provide this rivetting account of last weeks classic we all know as the KK-TdG. 

DISCLAIMER

Belo News cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies, insults or for other provacations in this riveting account and as always from Belo News, any semblance to the truth is purely coincidental!

Take it away, Skittles!!!

As dawn broke warm and humid over Skittle’s house, a brightly colored rainbow themed bouncy house castle, our intrepid replacement editor was stepping out for the 8:30 AM start (SHARP!!) Deciding to drive in he hit the road in hopes of a good turn out in Sharkman’s absence.

Thankfully he found some heavy hitters showed up: Bissell Boy, The Swede, Maid Marion, Hermster with others and last but never least, That Sweetheart of the Peloton: Gazelle Girl alongside her boy-toy Toesetter. How does Sharkman remember all the various Minions Names?? Does he have an extra brain in his dorsal fin?? OH THE HUMANITY!!

Casual banter of course ensued wherein it was noted today’s count is nine and NOT thirteen, so no crashes were expected. Our heroes rolled out with Skittles and The Swede doing the initial pulling at a casual pace. Talk about someone taking the Shark Sprint in honor of the Man Hizzself was quashed and our heroes casually rolled over the line.

Toesetter drove a mighty tough pace up the hill just past the Col de Twin Lakes with The Swede, Gazelle Girl and yrs trly on his wheel. They bore down on the finish with all four going into a dead sprint and The Swede holding on for the win. Eventually the sprint to M-43 was next, Hermster driving hard to the Stop Ahead Sign with Skittles running him down just to see if he could close such a large gap.

At the stop, Gazelle Girl was reminded how she complained of Toesetter pulling too hard down M43 on the last Minion Ride and was Volun-Told she’d be leading us neutrally down to Sheffield Rd. Through the Holy Rollers, Skittles strove to the front, using his famous Super-Tuck to dare anyone to follow him. To his shock, he noticed The Swede was there with Toesetter hot on his wheel, coming around to take a deserved win.

Unbeknownst to Skittles but knownst to the rest of the gang, The Swede and Toesetter came hot on his wheel, with The Swede taking a deserved win after his strategic move. Our heroes began the trip down to the G Spot with all the riders not wanting a repeat of a few weeks back when a devastatingly giant canyon, er, pothole jumped out and tried to kill Sharkman.

With that out of the way Skittles, Toesetter and The Swede pulled hard at the front. So hard in fact, when they finally checked and found the group way back and decided to to soft pedal until they caught up.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT??!!

Eventually, Gazelle Girl came along and lovingly admonished them for dropping her, whereupon Toesetter led her out into the sprint one may only win if one is riding a broomstick. At the stop Toesetter informed the peloton they’d have to neutralize the ride since someone from the M.I.S. (Minion Intelligence Service) had leaked some top secret intel that a nefarious individual had dumped a toilet on the road!! THAT’S RIGHT BUNKIE!! Porcelain shards all over the the place!! Thanks Toesetter for being intelligent!!

As of press time, the criminal still hadn’t been apprehended but is tops on the M.I.S. Most Wanted List. Our heroes bore down on the finish with Toesetter at the front pulling like a bullet train, Skittles hot on his wheel.

The Swede patiently biding his time in a brilliant tactical maneuver until he noticed Skittles check over his shoulder whence he took that opportunity to jump ahead in a blinding attack!! Skittles responded with an attack of his own, doubting he could catch up but keeping the hammer down anyway, because he wasn’t raised to be a quitter.

Eventually The Swede ran out of gas, and Skittles grabbed the win in a photo finish with a cast of thousands coming in behind them.

OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!!

No conversation could be heard over the deafening riotous roar of the Tifosi as our heroes made their parade down the Champs le Galesburg toward post race meeting at the Coffee Klutch. Gazelle Girl strolled in and, noting how few Minions showed up today (six), decided to buy coffee. Thanks Gazelle Girl! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT??!!

Skittles

Thanks Skittles for that incredible write up!!!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG as Sharkma returns, hopefully for good, to the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!

In recognition of his absences, it has been declared "Shark Minion Anniversary Kit" Day!!!

This IS a great country!!!

So break out the anniversary jersey and if you have them, those fantastic anniversary bib shorts!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2022

"Shark Minion Anniversary Kit" Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS....NOW!!!

GET THOSE RSVP's IN.......NOW!!

Belo News

July 20, 2022

Triple Nasty Ranchero/Zickmann Estate; 

Well Shark Minions it is that time again!!! 

All the information is in this attached poster for this years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!!!

Speaking of the poster, what kind of warped people designed that! Answer? The same two who are hosting the bash!!! Oh, the humanity!!

This annual day of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, yummy bake goods from Yeti Boy and pizza and beer is upon us again!!! Who can resist this opportunity!!!

So mark you calendars NOW and get that RSVP into Gazelle Girl for the planning!!

Any biker who is a biker will be there!!

Well, Bunkie, what are you waiting for!!! Do it now before you forget!!!

Hope to see the Shark Nation in force for this fun filled day of debauchery!!!

Oh, the humanity!!! This IS a great country!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

 SHARKMAN RETURNS!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock!!!

WHAT WAS THE COUNT? NOT 13!?!

SHARKMAN GONE AGAIN???

TOESETTER ON THE DL?!? OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

THE RIDE CONTINUES THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

July 9, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cool and bright (has this bee a great summer or what?!?) over the Shark Cove our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was ready to rock. After 4 weeks of re-hab and with Shark Week coming up on National Geographic, the diminutive Shark was anxious to "get his game on!" 

Though he did worry about being able to ride the entire course due to his lack of fitness, he was ready none the less.

Lava Girl, however, did not agree and was not happy that Sharkman planned to ride. After all, she had been taking care of the big baby shark for the last 4 weeks, listening to him whine andn pine about not being able to ride. 

However, justice prevailed and Sharkman agreed to drive to the start and not do the entire 53 miles he normally rides on Saturday.

Swede and Wishbone.

Sharkman headed out a bit early, anxious to ride with his Minions and as he took the road from the Eaton Plant down into the thriving metropolis of Galesburg he notice a man along with a woman rider heading into town and was sure it had to be Fire and Yeti Boy, as the female rider was blonde. As he approached, he put his passenger window down, ready to shout out some profound and funny statement when he realized it wasn't them!!! Oh, the humanity.

The "bad selfie" is back!!!

People were already at the start, getting unpacked from their cars, and the greetings from his beloved Shark Minion Nation began! Sharkman was happy to be back in the Nation again!!!

Both Brewman and Doctor Dave arrived wearing their Shark Minion Kit in recognition of the Ole Sharkman's return to the peloton. The "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl herzzelf rode in, minus her main squeeze, Toesetter and Sharkman missed the entrance and wasn't able to get his "Gazelle Girl" shouted out!!!

The first question Sharkman had was, "where is Toesetter?" 

Brewman in his Shark
Minion Kit!!

Sadly, Gazelle Girl reported that he had injured his wrist in a biking "incident" and it hurt enough that he broke down and was going for X-Rays hoping they would prove negative for a break.

Riders kept to piling in......

Swede, Stryker Girl, Brewman, Bissell Boy, Skittles, Maid Marian, Crickett, Hermster, Wishbone, Swede, Stryker Girl, Dr. Dave and Fire.

As Sharkman made a count, he had 13 riders and almost cancelled the ride, but a recount brought it to 14!!!

Is this a great country or what!!??

Sharkman shouted out to get the mighty Shark Minion train to pull out of the station, smiling as he listend to the sound of pedals clicking in and the chatter from the Nation! Sharkman had also commented he would not be contesting sprints and that included his ceremonial, first sprint.

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton!"
Gazelle Girl!!

As the Sharkman worked his way up and down the peloton to press the flesh and thank his Shark Minions for their well wishes, Skittles came up and offered to lead him out. However, Sharkman said no thinking he needed to save his energy to just finish. But then Gazelle Girl and Cricket, who were at the front, slowed and Sharkman took the bait and got a lead out from the pair. Feeling he had to honor the sprint he actually got his speed up to 19.5 mph, taking the sprint and again, all was well in the Kingdom!

At this point, Sharkman tried to stay at the back of the peloton. Now for years (roughly 40ish) Sharkman has always stated, "nothing good happens at the back of the peloton. Oh, was he wrong!!! 

Who knew they served Mimosa's back there??? Sharkman also heard that if Kia Pet and/or Reb were riding on this day there may have been donuts!!! What had Sharkman been missing!!! This IS a great country!!!

The ride was swift, but not as fast as usual and the old Shark suspected the Nation was going easy on him as he had not been training. However he hung in as well as he could and was able to hold on as they approached the Col de Twin Lakes.

When the fast moving train got to the Col de Twin Lakes, he slowly dropped back as the peloton passed, but Dr. Dave hung in with him and drafted him up the hill tothe spring stop ahead sign. Thanks Dr. Dave!!!

Fire was on hand!

Soon after, Dr. Dave had to take a call but shouted out to go ahead and he would catch up with the Nation later.

After a spirited run through the Kountry Klub section, and an attack by Hermster that was countered late and then taken by Cricket with Skittles on his wheel the Nation stopped at Rt. 43 and Dr. Dave was back pretty quickly! 

Sharkman spent most of his time riding the wheel of anyone who went by him, in hopes of just finishing!

As the Nation lined up for the final ascent to the finish, Sharkman tried to get into position up near the front, hoping he could just draft on riders until there were no more riders to draft off of and sneak in quietly at the end.

However, as the pace began to pick up and the peloton broke into three smaller groups it happened! "Mechanical!" was heard from the back of the Nation and it was learned that Yeti Boy had flatted his rear tire. Yeti seemed to have an entourage around him and Skittles was quick to dive in and help. It was commented that Yeti needed an entire tire and the only semblance to an actual tire was that it was round and made of rubber. 

The tire was worn to the cords and had split open. Maid Marian went back to see what was taking so long and quickly offered a dollar bill to use as a boot in the tire to hold the tube in and "viola!" it was fixed. Thank you, Maid Marian!!!

Sharkman, Dr. Dave and Yeti Boy.
Yeti Boy get's and escort in!!!

As the ride headed to the finish, Dr. Dave and Sharkman escorted Yeti Boy to the finish, making sure the tire held, which it did!

Sharkman missed the final ascent but word was that Cricket captured the tape, with Wishbone on his wheel but no one at the Klutch seemed to know who captured third place.

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg went wild when they saw Sharkman and his mighty Shark Minion Nation zipping up their jerseys for the sponsors as they rode on the famous street while waving to the throngs of paparazzi and tofosi waiting to see their hero's!!!

Bissell Boy won the sprint to the Klutch and threw down his credit card for the koffee!!! 

Thanks Bissell Boy!!! This IS a great country!!

Toesetter greeted the Nation to the Klutch and gave us the great news that his wrist was NOT broken!!!

The Koffee flowed as did the chatter as Sharkman relished being back in the Nation!!!

Sharkman will be gone this weekend but the ride goes on!!!

Saturday, July 16, 2022

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

The Klutch was rocking!!

Toesetter give the Nation
his high sign! No broken
wrist!!!

Dr. Dave in his Shark
Kit!!!

Skittles was back!!!

Cricket & Maid Marian were in the mix!

Yeti Boy sporting his
Iron Horse Jersey!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.