HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SWEETHEART OF THE PELOTON!

Gazelle Girl "attempting" to blow our all
the candles on her Brithday Cake!

FASTEST RIDE OF THE YEAR!!!

DREAMBOAT RETURNS AS A CELEBRITY RIDER!!

VIRGIN MINIONS IN THE MIX?!?

REB SPORTING A BEER JERSEY???

MINIONS TAKE THE DIRTY DONUT RACE BY STORM!

THIS SATURDAY, VINTAGE SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!!!

Belo News

June 5, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, Sharkman was up and ready to go! Our intrepid hero was excited that he did not have to put on arm, leg OR a dorsal warmer for the first time in weeks!!!

Is this a great country or what!?!?

Sharkman was also excited because it was Gazelle Girls Birthday! And not just any birthday, but a big one. A very big one indeed!

The Nation was going to surprise her with a Birthday Party at the Klutch!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready
for action!!!

Sharkman had prepared a card for the Nation to sign and Fabio would be picking up the Birthday Cake to bring to the Klutch. Of course, it was not as great a Birthday Card as the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" does for all those special Minion Birthdays, but still, our hero was proud of it! He giggled as he slipped it into a plastic baggy and slide it into one of his three rear jersey pockets! Oh, the humanity!!! He didn't want to get it sweaty!

He picked up Reb on the way over and they stopped at the Klutch to drop off the card for Minions to sign, where they ran into, none other than Dreamboat! 

Yes, our Dreamboat was back in town and ready to ride. He shared that he was doing the Donut Race the following day but wanted to ride anyway. What a stud!!!

Wishbone was also coming out of the Klutch so the riders headed to the start together!

Welcome to the Nation, 
Walter!!!

Two riders were seen riding east and Wishbone shouted out, "you're going the wrong way!" So they turned around to join the Nation at the start. Walter and Erin had heard about the ride from Wishbone and wanted to join in. 

Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Walter and Erin!

Shortly after, Super Trooper rode in on a Canondale Tandem with the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" acting has his stoker on the back! Whoa, what a dynamic duo! 

The entire Nation began murmering about trying to get in the draft of that semi trailer as it left the station. 

This was a tandem that Super Trooper had built up after it had fallen in disprepair and it was a spectacular work of art. Interestingly, Super Trooper had mounted so many flashing lights on it, it actually looked like an emergency vehicle! The photo does not do it justice, but suffice it to say, vehicles were pulling over left and right as the red Canondale Tandem left the station and they scrambled to get out of the way!

Welcome to the Nation, 
Snow White!

Riders began pouring in!

In addition to Gazelle Girl, Toesetter and Super Trooper, long lost Minions, Wildman and Sasquatsh rolled in, making their season debuts!

With Dreamboat, Reb and our virgin Minions in the mix, there was a season high of 11 Riders to start, but right after the start photo, and as the Minion peloton pulled out on to the path, Dr. Dave joined on making his season debut!!! 

Is this a great country or what!?!?

Oh, yes it is!!!

All was well in the Nation!!!

Super Trooper living large on 
his Canondale tandem!!

Our own Dreamboat back
in the Nation!

As Reb said, "it was one water bottle short
of a six pack!"

Gazelle Girl and Super Trooper with
"the tandem!"

Toesetter sporting his Bells Kit!

Sasquatch returns to the Nation!

BN couldn't seem tocapture the flashing 
lights!!! Oh, the humanity!

Virgin Minion Walter and Dr. Dave 
discuss finishing strategy as they
ride through the Inlet.

What a fantastic day!!!

Super Trooper captured
the road shots!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation!

Wishbone sporting his Bells Kit!
Bells was popular 
on the day!

Reb modeling his "beer jersey."
He is working on being the
new "Style Guy!"

Wildman was back in the Nation!!

It was a great day in the saddle and the pace was intense! A season high average speed of 18.87 mph was registered on the richter scale!

As fast moving train was baring down on the final desent to the finish, they were all bunched up, but the big red tandem came forward, parting the sea of riders, to capture one, two on the finish. Super Trooper and Gazelle Girl nailed the line with a cast of thousands on their wheel!

The Champs le Galesburg exploded with the paparazzi and tofosi cheering on their heros and the Birthday Girl and "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl as they rode to the Klutch for the Press Conference!

Yeti Boy was waiting at the Klutch and had paid for the koffee! Ya gotta love that guy!!!

Gazelle Girl checking the number
of candles!

Gazelle Girl getting a very nice 
rendition of "Happy Birthday!"

Who will cut the cake?

Fabio spent countless hours
baking the cake......

A good time was had by all!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG when it is Shark Minion Jersey Day!

That's right, Bunkie! Break out your original Shark Minion Jersey that you've seen winning Donut Championships!!! It is a much in demand article of cycling attire, so get it on and ride!

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Shark Minion Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

MINIONS TAKE THE DIRTY DONUT RACE BY STORM!

Zychmann Takes First at Dirty Donut!

The Amazing Yeti Boy Hits the Podium!

A Hutch Sighting!

Stryker Guy Receives Participation Medal AND a Hamburger!!!

Fabio a top the podium!!!

Belo News

June 6, 2021

 

EXCLUSIVE TO BELO NEWS

Stryker Guy

contributing writer to Belo News

Martin, MI — Competitive gravel racing is back after a year of people riding in their basements.  The relatively new Dirty Donut gravel race was held Sunday in Martin with a number of Minion legends participating.  Several members of Team Taylor were there as TT helps to sponsor the race.  Zychman was adorned in his vintage Shark jersey talking to Hutch about race strategy when the author (also sporting the vintage Shark kit) butted in on the conversation. ZMan informed me that none other than Yeti Boy was ready to go dressed in the latest edition of the Shark jersey.  

Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy sporting
their Minion Kit and discussing
strategy on a possible
prison break!

YB and SG exchanged pleasantries at the start of the 41 mile race while Fabio (easier to write) took a picture through what appeared to be a prison fence. YB informed the author that he intended to podium, which brought me to the realization that this would be the last I would see of him until the finish.  

Disappointing no one other than himself, he took third in his age bracket, killing it as usual (and wondering why he didn’t place higher???). 

Fabio, the great sprinter that he is, decided on the 22 miler and true to form, took first. (It should be noted that Fabio rode with a seat and no beer in his water bottles).  

The great Fabio got on the podium looking for something resembling the Tour de France models to award his medal. Instead a 5’7 265 lb. guy with a long white beard and a MAGA hat handed him his medal and gave him a hug!!

The author managed to streak ahead of two tandems, three unicycles, two nine year olds on Schwinn Sting Rays, and a wheelchair (not sure they were in the race).  He did receive a beautiful participation medal as shown.  

It was a great day for the Minion Nation. 

Editors Note - Great write up, Stryker Guy! We need more of your writing!!! All the Shark Minions did the Nation proud!!! The Shark Minions are indeed, a mighty Nation!!!!

Yeti Boy takes the podium!

Stryker Guy captures a 
Participation Medal!!!

Triumphant Fabio!

Fabio showing off his vintage Shark Minion Kit,
in his prison photo!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SOLO, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!?!

ADMIRING THAT WOODIE!?!

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton"
takes the honors of best
Red, White & Blue Day
with these stunning socks!

WILL IT EVER BE SUMMER???

WHO WON RED, WHITE & BLUE SATURDAY???

THIS WEEKEND, BEER JERSEY SATURDAY!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

May 29, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold and crisp over the Shark Cove (39 degrees), we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bounding out of bed and getting ready to ride to the start solo for the first time in many seasons. 

Wait,.....what?

That's right, Bunkie! Everyone had baled on him and our hero even wonders if Mad Dog still exists.

Where are you Mad Dog and when will you be back?!? We miss you! All is forgiven!! Come back!!!

It had been years since he had no one from his "entourage" riding over with him! 

"Oh, the humanty!" he thought to himself.

"It was probably the cold morning...." he muttered as he pulled on his arm, leg and dorsal warmers......"bunch of puppies......" he said under his breath.......

Bounty Hunter returns to
the Peloton

Though cold, it was a sunny start to the day and though he thought he might be over dressed, he felt toasty as he started out and his only thought was how the wind was at his back and was going to be punishing on the way back to the Cove later in the day.

When he arrived at the start, there was no one in sight. One of the old Shark's biggest fears has always been that day when he would arrive at the start and no one would be there. 

Was this that day???

He was a bit early, as he did not have Reb slowing him down on the way over with his whining,.... "What's the hurry....." and he did have that tail wind......but........

Soon, Brewman, the ironman of the Shark Minion Nation, arrived. Sharkman was almost giddy at the thought of having at least one Shark Minion to ride with. Brewman was also bundled up pretty good and reminded the Shark that he had that wind to contend with on the way over and the Shark would have it on the way back home......

Brewman, Toesetter, Hermster, Gazelle Girl and
Bounty Hunter were ready to roll!

Soon after, Gazelle Girl and her main squeeze, Toesetter rolled in to a shout out from Sharkman (hey, there weren't many there!). This was followed by Bounty Hunter and Hermster, returning to the Nation and making their season debuts! 

When Bounty Hunter was asked where the Iceman was he said he couldn't get him out of bed. That it was too cold.......

Wait, ...what? Too cold for the Iceman??? Oh, the humanity!!

Brewman saves the day
by showing up!

After the start photo, the Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station and rode on the new path into town. As they got close to the Klutch, the legendary pair of Bissell Boy and Stryker Guy pulled up! 

Now there were 8 riders!

Sharkman, of course, took the first sprint and not wanting to dishonor it, got his sorry butt up to around 23 mph to take it, as he thinking to himself, "How did this get started? It's way too early in the ride to go this fast!"

It was a brisk ride and actually turned out to be the fastest edition of the KK-TdG this season!

One mishap on the ride was that the Shark Nation lost Hermster. He was on at the Rt. 43 smoke stop, but when the Nation got to the top of the col de Norte, no Hermster. Sharkman went back to look from the top of the hill but it was thought that he had turned off. After the ride, subsequent investigative efforts uncovered that Hermster had some sort of mechanical and had to call his wife to pick him up. A reminder to riders.....IF YOU HAVE A MECHANICAL, YELL IT OUT! 

Big apology to Hermster for leaving him in the lurch. Let's not let that happen, Shark Minions!!!

We leave no Shark Minion behind! Well, at least most of the time.......

As the fast moving train moved towards the start of the ascent up the col de Norte, none other than Zyckmann, aka Fabio, pulled up on his Woodie! Everyone was admiring his woodie and that might be what caused the Nation to miss the fact that Hermster wasn't in the peloton. (You certainly didn't think that the headline was refering to anything else were you? I mean, come on, we are bunch of old guys on bikes........)

The pace picked up even more with the wind somewhat behind them as the Nation screamed through the Holy Rollers and on to the Inlet.

Evel Knievel or Sharkman?
You be the judge!

Fabio (who has a license plate on his Woodie with that on it) did a humongus pull after the Digital Divide and the Nation just held tight on his wheel in a pretty cool pace line, before Gazelle Girl came forward to capture her coveted GGG Spot Sprint. 

All was right with the world!

As the Nation headed south for the final sprint, Sharkman went out to the front and pulled until Zyckmann came around him and the Shark was cooked. Bounty Hunter came forward and sailed to an easy win with a cast of thousands on his wheel.

It was another great day in the saddle for the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

Stryker Guy got the sprint to the Klutch, by bypassing on the Champs le Galesburg and disappointing his fans, and getting to the Klutch first to buy koffee for all, which made the Nation happy! Thanks Stryker Guy!!! Sharkman loves that type of sprinting!!

Reb and Fire rolled in, stating they had ridden over to escort their intrepid hero, the Sharkman, back to the Shark Cove! Is this a great country or what?!? 

Fire also took second in the Red, White & Blue Day contest behindGazelle Girl, disappointing Sharkman who thought he'd win with his Chris Carmichael Olympic Jacket! Sharkman relegated to a distant third place behind the ladies and was asked by Reb if he was given the jacket by Evel Knievel and not Chris Carmichael. Very funny......The Klutch was rocking for the Press Conference and the koffee was flowing like the Shark Minion Nation on a good day in the pace line (which doesn't happen often).

Fire takes second with her
Red, White & Blue kit!

You won't want to miss this weeks ride!

This Saturday!

June 5, 2021

Beer Jersey Day!!!

Hey, it's summer (we think), we drink beer in the summer (well, mostly  year round but maybe more in the summer) and we haven't had a jersey day yet!

So pick you favorite beer jersey and come on out to ride with the Nation!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

The Klutch was rocking!
How did Sharkman NOT win the 
Red, White & Blue Kit Day?!? Just
look at him in his kit!
Oh, the humanity!
Wait, is the Evel Knievel?

What is an edition of Belo News
without a photo of Fabio?
He didn't get the memo on 
Red, White & Blue Kit Day!

RAIN? WHAT RAIN?

Sharkman has given up on selfies!

THE RETURN OF FABIO!

OR IS IT ZYCKMANN? 

MINIONS ROCK FAST FITTY!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE WEEKEND COMING UP!!!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

May 22, 2021

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn broke wet over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was dreaming sweet thoughts of winning that final sprint when the shark alarm tolled, breaking the dream trance and bringing him back to reality.

When our hero glanced at his shark phone, he noticed a rain warning for 5:57 a.m., 3 minutes before his alarm when off! Rain? Wait, what???

There was no forecast for rain!

He immediately pulled up the shark radar and saw that rain was passing over, but needless to say, he was not a happy shark!

Moments later, a text from Reb read, "The corner at 7:35?" followed immediately with "....not really sure if this counts as rain?"

Reb's prediction was for it to be light rain at our start, but fine after we reached the Klutch but recommended leaving 5 minutes later.

Since Sharkman always counts on Reb's weather predictions, he got ready to ride. However, he did recomment 5 minutes delay to launch. So the old Shark launched from the Cove at 7:35 a.m., SHARP!

With his rain jacket on, the old Shark was a bit warm heading over and the rain was, as predicted, very light, ending before the pair crossed over I-94 near the Eaton Plant and made their descent into that thriving metropolis known as Galesburg.

Waiting at the start were Brewman, Squeaky and that long lost Shark Minion, Bulldog! Welcome back, Bulldog! He was even wearing his 30th Shark Minion Anniversary Jersey!!!

Shortly after, Wishbone pulled in along with that legend of the peloton, Zyckmann, aka, Fabio!!! The crowds went wild......

Welcome back from the West Coast, Fabio/Zyckmann! 

Fabio/Zyckmann hizzelf!

After the start photo, the riders were ready to ride. No rain, slight wind and a bit overcast......perfect!

Squeaky kept Sharkman talking on the way to the first sprint and as the old Shark picked up speed, Reb came up beside him with that "Dick Move" look in his eye, but seemed to know better. However, it did push our hero to what may be a record speed for the sprint, somewhere north of 26 mph!

There was no doubt that Zyckmann had returned to the Nation from the West Coast in great shape as he tended to push the pace, grabbing every sprint he could.

Brewman put Fabio to the test on the col de Twin Lakes and the battle continued through the Yorkville Church, past the Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub and on to the sprint to Rt. 43. As the two battled, Reb pulled Sharkman out to the front and the two tried to break away, but Favio would have none of it and dashed to take the sprint.

After the col de Norte, Brewman took a humongus pull to the turn at the Holy Rollers with Sharkman taking a free ride on his wheel. Then Zyckmann moved up and Sharkman, feeling no shame, pealed off of Brewman and grabbed the new, fast moving wheel of Fabio for more free fun.

The return of Bulldog!!!

While riding Zyckmann like a rented mule, our intrepid hero hung on and watched his HR actually go down as he sat in the wake of the West Coast phenom all the way to the Food Stop.

As the fast moving train pulled out and headed to the Inlet, the Nation would be taking a detour after the Digital Divide due to their beloved finish being "chip and sealed" the previous week! "Who in the hell approved that?" Sharkman wanted to know!

Oh, the humanity!!!

After crossing the Digital Divide, the nation turned right at what has become known as the "dam road." Not to be confused with "damn road," but because of the new dam that has been built there. Reb made the comment as they past the new dam that if it was his yard, he would turn that into a part of his landscaping! 

Since Sharkman hates landscaping, or even cutting grass, he let that go.....

As they turned to head down the col de Twin Lakes road, Zyckmann again came to the front and the old Shark continue to take the free ride he so deserves and road Favio like that  rented mule he spoke of before.

Wishbone, showing off his
mane of hair!!!

Zyckmann was so geeked, he kept it up past the G Ave. crossing and the old Shark was loving every minute of it!

As they summited the last climb before the finish, Zyckman pulled off and seemed suprised a rider was still there, on his wheel. 

Sharkman had occupied his time in the back seat watching his heart rate continue in a mellow mode and slowly dropping as he caught the air of the legend known as Fabio/Zyckmann!

The old Shark, feeling he couldn't steal the sprint after riding for free for so long, asked if the rented mule, known as Fabio, wanted to battle it out for the final sprint, to which they both crossed over together making it a victory for America! The Shark would never pull a "dick move" on someone he had ridden like a rented mule (and wasn't sure he'd of won it anyway!)! Well, maybe not.........

The Klutch was rocking!!!

The crowds were extremely upset that their hero's did not ride down the Champs le Galesburg, where they were waiting, due to the detoured finishing sprint. An angry mob circled the Klutch but after an appearnce by Fabio, they quieted down quickly and came in for koffee.

Speaking of koffee, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman bought the round for his mighty Shark Minion Nation! Yes, you heard that right!

All was well in the Kingdom as the press conference continued while all sipped their Bottomless Kups of brew and sat in awe with their cycling hero's!

This weekend is Memorial Day and so all Shark Minions are requested to donn their Red, White & Blue kit for this weeks ride in rememberance of our military hero's!

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Red, White & Blue Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

MINIONS ROCK FAST FITTY!!!

STRYKER GUY CELEBRATES BIRTHDAY WITH WIN!!!

Belo News

Two "Legends" at the start!
Bissell Boy & Stryker guy ready to rock!

Charlotte, MI. - It was a great weekend for the mighty Shark Minion Nation as 3 of their finest competed at the the Fast Fitty Race. 

Ace Reporter, Bissell Boy joins in.....

The Fast Fitty is a classic gravel road race in Charlotte MI, traversing Eaton and  Barry county through beautiful Amish farmland. All proceeds from the race fight human trafficking.

We signed up last January and I remember telling Stryker Guy I was doing the 36 miler.

There was the choice of 19, 36 or 54. Stryker Guy told me he would ride over that morning to drive up together and on the way up he told me "I am riding my age today" as he put 11 in before reaching my house! (Editors Note: That is why the man is a legend!) 

Our own Skittle on the podium!

I said "bad news I signed up for the 36 miler. 

Well before getting to the start line I decided to hang with the birthday boy for the 54 and we were off and riding. It was a beautiful day and we took turns on the front for a spectacular ride. As I was signed up for the 36 I placed solid 6th  for my age group with my 54 mile time in the 36 miler and Stryker Guy finished 5th in our age group for the 54 miler. 

My time was 4th in the 60+ age group coming in just ahead of SG. 

Fellow minion Skittles won his age group with a blazing 2h38 min performance averaging 20.5mph. (see attached photo) 

Editors Note: It was a victory for America! Well, and the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

Our hero's at the finish!
Love that Shark Minion Jersey!!!

The Birthday Boy, Hizzelf!!!