"SOFT" - "COLD" OPENING BIG SUCCESS!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation, minus Bissell Boy, who arrived a minute late!!

THEY CAME, THEY BUNDLED UP, THEY CONQUERED!!!

GREAT WEATHER FORECAST FOR THIS SATURDAY!!

DRY AND WARMER! 🦈

COME ON OUT FOR "SOFT OPENNING #2!"

Belo News

April 16, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As our Intrepid hero, the Sharkman, laid in bed with thoughts of winning sprints in a short sleeved jersey danced in his diminutive, shark like brain, he was so excited he did not need the Shark Alarm to wake him up.

As his eyes opened, he immediatly remembered it was a "Soft Opening" for his beloved mighty Shark Minion Nation!

After weeks of cold and snow they were finally going to ride!!! Though there was no snow to worry about, there was the small concern of .......the cold. 🥶

It was predicted to be around 37 degrees at launch time, despite launch time being set back to 10 a.m. in hopes of some warming from the predicted sunshine. 

The forecast did not disappoint.......

As our hero padded down to the Sharkman Bike Shop in his basement, he began sorting through the wide assortment of cycling gear he had aquired over the 34+ years of Saturday Morning biking, pulling out all his winter "stuff" which is the technical term he uses for his cycling gear. There would be no "short sleeved jersey" on this day, though he has a record breaking number of them.

Sharkmans first attempt of the year for
a selfie. Looks like he isn't any better
at it.......😒

After accumulating all the "stuff" he thought he'd need and putting it on, our hero moved upstairs and then looked at the clock. It was only 7:30 a.m. and Yeti Boy would not be arriving to pick him up until 9:30 for the 10 a.m. launch.

Oh, the humanity!!! Our hero was anxious!!!

After having some coffee and explaining to Lava Girl that he had gotten ready way too soon becuase he was excited, he began pacing the floor waiting for 9:30 a.m. to arrive!

His Wingman, Yeti Boy was right on time as he drove in and Sharkman loaded up! Yes, finally moving on the day!!!

They drove over to Fire's house to pick her up and to see her new ride!!! Fire had ordered a new Bianchi, which is a brand that has some legendary status in Fire's family of prodigious riders. However, when she learned she would need to order it and it would take almost a year to get, she decided to instead order a beautiful Ridely (see photo)! It was so light, when Sharkman picked it up to throw in the Yeti's van he almost tossed it on the roof.

Fire on her new Ridely!!!

Fully loaded, the team car headed to the start as poor Reb watched from his yard, missing the ride because his son had a baseball game. Sharkman was worried about possibly being late, but Yeti stepped on it and they arrived just in time so that they had 2 minutes left before launch time!! Remember Shark Minions, Launch time means being on the starting line at launch time, NOT being in the parking lot putting air in your tires, making wardrobe adjustments or stopping for a restroom break!!! 😡

Enough time to take the start photo and tell everyone that there would be no sprints awarded as it was "Spring Training" and would be a mellow ride. Well, that and the fact Sharkman wasn't exactly feeing in shape with his lack of saddle time. It was also learned that Yeti Boy brought the wrong cycling shoes, so was forced to ride not using the clips on his clipped shoes! Oh, the humanity!!!

Toesetter was looking particularly 
"Fetching" in his newly
aquired "Minion Socks!"

In attendance, from left to right (see lead photo) was Hermster, Gazelle Girl, Fire, Toesetter, Brewman, Hoosier Boy and Yeti Boy. That Legend of the peleton known as Bissell Boy, pulled in right after Sharkman put his phone away and he had so many "layers" on, determined it was too difficult to get the phone out again for another photo. Of special note was the rather fetching "Minion Socks" that Toesetter was sporting, in an effort to perhaps take over the role as "Style Guy" since Squeeky had left......

After the Mayor of Galesburg delivered a very emotional speech and yet another Key to the City for Sharkman, the sound of pedals clicking in could be heard as the throngs of 2-3 people shouted out a mighty cheer as the train left the station.

Is the a great country or what?!?🇲🇾

As the Nation stopped at the light in front of the Klutch, Toesetter put on a "Track Stand" Clinic for the Early Morning Group that was still enjoying koffee in the Klutch at 10 a.m.!!!

It was an extremely "mellow" ride as the Shark Minions renewed aquaintences and told their stories of what they had done all winter. 

Toesetter was particularly "friskie" and stayed out front for most of the ride, taking a number of different Shark Minions with him on his wheel as he revelled in his Minion Socks.

As the Nation approached the Rt. 43 sprint, the saw the flashing red lights of emergency vehicles. 

A motorcyclist had missed the turn on Rt. 43 and had hit a tree along side of the road. The mighty Shark Minion train was stopped as they ambulance was taking the crash victim off. Subsequent investigative reporting later revealed the motorcyclist was a 47 year old rider who was not wearing a helmet and was transported to a hospital in Kalamazoo, later listed in critical condition. At the time of this writing, there was no further information to report. 

The ride went on and after riding through the Holy Rollers, the Shark Minions took the low road to the inlet, where everyone came to a complete stop before proceeding! 🚴🏻

The crossing at the Digital Divide went well and the first pace line of the year actually was pretty close to a true pace line. The Nation stayed together until the end when it was every Shark Minion for themselves as sprints were not being awarded.

As the Nation traversed this section, they saw a lone rider heading towards them that was readily recognized as Reb (aka Dickus Movemus Maximus). Apparently his sons baseball game had been cancelled (imagine...to cold to play baseball.....) and he had ridden over to meet the Nation. Reb picked up right were he left off with the "Dick Moves."

As the mighty Shark Minion train bore down on the finish, they stayed together until the final descent to the tape. That is when Reb, with Fire in tow, pulled his first "Dick Move" of the young season. 

Sharkman shouted out to his loyal Shark Minion Nation, "track him down and pull him back!" To which Toesetter and Hermster responded. Toesetter immeditely dropped in with Reb and Fire while Hermster pulled ahead!

Sharkman saw his chance, getting some momentum from the descent, moved forward to complete a flawless "Dick Move" on Reb and his entourage just before the finish! A classic move that our hero said "just made his day."

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg went wild! All 2 of them!!!

Yeti Boy, despite his having to ride handicapped with the wrong cycling shoes, managed to get ahead and pay for the koffee!!! 

Thanks Yeti Boy!!!

The Klutch was rocking once again!

The Press Conference at the Koffee Klutch went well as Barrista Ron poured gallons of Bottomless kups of Koffee to the chilled mighty Shark Minion Nation!

The forecast is looking spectacular for this Saturday so you won't want to miss the "Second Soft Opening" of the mighty Shark Minion Nation Season!

The start will be moved up a bit earlier to 9 a.m.!

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Launch Time - 9 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.