OH, THE HUMANITY!!!
FIRST TIME IN MEMORY THE NATION HAS BEEN RAINED OUT TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!!!
Belo News
June 26, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - Not again!!!
Unfortunately, the ride is cancelled again! Though it looks like there might be a slight opening in the rain around launch time, cells continue to pop up and there is a threat of thundershowers. That means lightning, so the ride is cancelled.
Hope to see everyone next week!!!
RAIN OUT!!!
OH, THE HUMANITY!
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| Oh, the humanity! |
LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!
VINTAGE JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!
Belo News
June 19, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - It was a dark and stormy night, my friend......no, wait....
As dawn broke over the Shark Cove we find our intrepid hero, Sharkman, preparing his vintage jersey kit. As he thumbed through his rack of jersey's, he heard something rumble. Was that his stomach? Perhaps something lower? A mouse in the wall?
Wait, .....no......not......thunder?
"It wasn't supposed to rain!" he thought to hizzelf as he ran to the Shark Radar.
As he glared into the green hue of the Shark Radar screen, sure enough, there was rain starting to fall all over his "Field of Dreams," known as the KK-TdG!
As he started to study the rain patterns, he thought to hizzelf, "Maybe it will break up....it looks like there is an opening of clear sky's coming.......maybe........just maybe......."
Then he heard his Shark Phone ping! What could it be!??! Oh, what next??????
It was a lightning alert for the area from the National Weather Service..........
Now, our intrepid hero isn't afraid of too many things. Just the normal stuff like clowns, and bats, the occasional spider..... a letter fromt he IRS......you know.....
But the thing he fears almost as much as clowns is....... lightning!!!
He double checked the shark radar one more time, only to see the rain clouds growing both in size and color. It was then that he decided he had to cancel his beloved ride.
This decision, unlike other rainy days, ended up being easy to call. It turned out to be the right choice as well, as rain of "Biblical Proportions" came down for 2-3 hours during the morning and the time the mighty Shark Minion Nation would have been on the road.
Oh, the humanity.....
And remember, if the ride is officially cancelled, a Shark Minion Update will go out by email about an hour before launch time, along with a post on Belo News with the notice to cancel. However, each rider make's their own decision.
But now, on to this week!
Let's try it again!
Is this a great country or what?!?
This Saturday, June 27, 2021
Vintage Jersey Day!!!
Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
Be there!
RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE!!!
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!
ALL THE DETAILS ARE BELOW!!!
BE HERE!
TODAY'S RIDE CANCELLED!!
JUNE 19 RIDE RAINED OUT!!!
OH, THE HUMANITY!!
Belo News
June 19, 2021
Shark Cove, Michigan - As dawn broke with thunder and lightning over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was forced to cancel the ride!
Oh, the humanity!
The radar looked dismal, there was a lightning alert, and all was wet in the kingdom......
But the mighty Shark Minion Nation will ride next week!
Is this a great country or what?!?
See you all next Saturday!
RETURNING TO NORMAL?!?
CELEBRITY RIDER IN THE MIX???
RETURNING MINIONS!!!
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| The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock!!! |
A SEA OF SHARK MINION JERSEY'S!!
THIS SATURDAY, "VINTAGE" JERSEY DAY!!!
Belo News
June 13, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - As a foggy dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was up and ready! Our hero had heard that the famous Shark minion, Boatman, was back in town and was going to ride over to the start with him and Yeti Boy. Yeti Boy was returning after a 3 week absence and fresh off his podium finish at the Dirty Donut Race!
The weather was also warm (which there hadn't been a lot of on Saturday morning) and it was Shark Minion Jersey Day! Always a favorite jersey day for our hero, he marveled at his vintage Shark Minion Jersey and the map on the back that displayed his "field of dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!
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| Celebrity Rider Boatman returns! |
Boatman and Yeti Boy appeared at the Cove a bit early, but fortunetly that gave Yeti Boy to go back home to get his helmet, which he had forgotten to put on his noggin.
It was a beautiful fog to ride in as the riders lit up the roads with their blinking lights and drivers could actually seem them even better, though there were hardly any drivers to see them!
As the three riders descended into the thriving metropolis of Galesburg, none other than Zyckmann hizzelf, rode out to meet them and to great Boatman!
As they approached the start, there was not another rider in the parking lot and they all began to wonder if any others would show.
The turnouts, by Shark Minion standards, had been a bit low, post panedemic, but they also realized they were a bit early despite Yeti having to back to get his helmet.
Very shortly, the riderss started to pile in. Some returning Minions were making their debut with Cricket and Maid Marian were returning, making their season debut, as well as the popular Luke Skywalker!
Welcome back, Shark Minions!
Hoosier Boy was also back and though he had riden before, it was the first time Sharkman had seen him this season!
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| Bulldog, sporting his Anniversary Shark Minion, also bought the koffee!!! |
Sixteen Riders toed the line and were ready to rock! (Though Snow White went ahead for a comfort stop at the Klutch)
Dr. Dave jumped on as the Shark Minion train moved through town making it seventeen riders, a season high and making Sharkman feel like things just might be returning to normal!
After a brief stop at the Klutch to pick up Snow White, the Nation was ready to begin the grand tour around their beloved Gull Lake.
Sharkman laid back on the approach to the opening sprint, but quickly latched on to Zyckmann as he went to the front wtih Cricket on his left.
Sharkman wasn't sure if Cricket was aware of the tradition, and Zyckmann pealed off earlier than our hero would have liked, so the Sharkman dug in and brought the speed up to around 23 mph to take the first sprint.
The fog had essentially burned off, there was a nice haze that kept the sun from over heating all the Shark Minion and all was well in the kingdom.
With a few big dog sprinters in the mix, which of course, resulted in some fast pace back and forth!
Yeti Boy pushed the pace up the Col de Twin Lakes, only to be caught at the finish by Cricket. The pace in the Kountry Klub section was intense with a massive pull by Wildman, who seemed to be riding in mid season form, and the Holy Rollers was intense as the riders carved up the short steep hills in the run up to the feed stop.
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| Hoosier Boy didn't get the memo on what Jersey Day it was! |
In the next section, Stryker Guy shouted out he was taking a pull on a long down hill and quickly claimed the title, "King of the down hill pull!"
After a "hard stop" in the inlet, making Gazelle Girl happy, the Nation moved to the Digital Divide section where Rapture (formally, Walter) took the paceline up to a very pleasant 21 mph and a very efficient line of Shark Minions actually working together formed up!
Is this a great country or what?!?
The speed seemed perfect as Luke Skywalker led out the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" to take the GGG Spot Sprint past the Minion pace line!
It was a victory for America!
Once the Shark Minions made the turn onto the finishing stretch, they again formed up into a pretty well working pace line.
Amazingly, it almost looked like they all knew what they were doing!
As the fast moving Shark Minion train crested the final ascent and began it's descent to the finish, it was every Shark Minion for themselves. Sharkman always worries when the peloton is a bit bunched up, but it was a very clean finish as Cricket moved foward and took the finish with a cast of thousands on his wheel!
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| Cricket returns and wins! |
Average speed was at a seson high of 19.05 mph!
The paparzzi and tofsi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as their heros rode to the Klutch for the Press Conference and where Bulldog put down the pot of gold for all the koffee for the Nation!
Thanks Bulldog!!!
There were so many riders that two tables were needed for the Nation to sit and enjoy their bottomless kups of koffee!!!
Another great day in the Kingdom!!!
You won't want to miss this weeks edition, which has been designated as "Vintage Jersey Day!" That's right, Bunkie, blow the dust of your oldest or vintage jersey and come on out to ride our "Field of Dreams!" The Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!
Saturday, June 19, 2021
"Vintage Jersey Day!"
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| Maid Marian making her season debut! |
BE THERE!
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| The Klutch was rocking!!! |
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| Luke Skywalder returns!!! |
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| The Shark Nation took up two tables!!! |
GREYHOUND ROCKS MOUNT CADILLAC IN ACADIA NATIONAL PARK!!!
Belo News
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| Greyhound at the sumit!!! |
June 13, 2021
Acadia National Park - Our own legend of the peloton, Greyhound reported in to Belo News last week after being missed on the ride! In his own words,.......
"Sorry to miss the Minion ride this morning. Just so you know, I wasn't slacking off. I rode up the Mount Cadillac in Acadia National Park. It's reayy beautiful here!!!
Thanks for reporting in, Greyhound! Nice job, you did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SWEETHEART OF THE PELOTON!
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| Gazelle Girl "attempting" to blow our all the candles on her Brithday Cake! |
DREAMBOAT RETURNS AS A CELEBRITY RIDER!!
VIRGIN MINIONS IN THE MIX?!?
REB SPORTING A BEER JERSEY???
MINIONS TAKE THE DIRTY DONUT RACE BY STORM!
THIS SATURDAY, VINTAGE SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!!!
Belo News
June 5, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, Sharkman was up and ready to go! Our intrepid hero was excited that he did not have to put on arm, leg OR a dorsal warmer for the first time in weeks!!!
Is this a great country or what!?!?
Sharkman was also excited because it was Gazelle Girls Birthday! And not just any birthday, but a big one. A very big one indeed!
The Nation was going to surprise her with a Birthday Party at the Klutch!
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| The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready for action!!! |
Sharkman had prepared a card for the Nation to sign and Fabio would be picking up the Birthday Cake to bring to the Klutch. Of course, it was not as great a Birthday Card as the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" does for all those special Minion Birthdays, but still, our hero was proud of it! He giggled as he slipped it into a plastic baggy and slide it into one of his three rear jersey pockets! Oh, the humanity!!! He didn't want to get it sweaty!
He picked up Reb on the way over and they stopped at the Klutch to drop off the card for Minions to sign, where they ran into, none other than Dreamboat!
Yes, our Dreamboat was back in town and ready to ride. He shared that he was doing the Donut Race the following day but wanted to ride anyway. What a stud!!!
Wishbone was also coming out of the Klutch so the riders headed to the start together!
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| Welcome to the Nation, Walter!!! |
Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Walter and Erin!
Shortly after, Super Trooper rode in on a Canondale Tandem with the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" acting has his stoker on the back! Whoa, what a dynamic duo!
The entire Nation began murmering about trying to get in the draft of that semi trailer as it left the station.
This was a tandem that Super Trooper had built up after it had fallen in disprepair and it was a spectacular work of art. Interestingly, Super Trooper had mounted so many flashing lights on it, it actually looked like an emergency vehicle! The photo does not do it justice, but suffice it to say, vehicles were pulling over left and right as the red Canondale Tandem left the station and they scrambled to get out of the way!
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| Welcome to the Nation, Snow White! |
With Dreamboat, Reb and our virgin Minions in the mix, there was a season high of 11 Riders to start, but right after the start photo, and as the Minion peloton pulled out on to the path, Dr. Dave joined on making his season debut!!!
Is this a great country or what!?!?
Oh, yes it is!!!
All was well in the Nation!!!
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| Super Trooper living large on his Canondale tandem!! |
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| Our own Dreamboat back in the Nation! |
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| As Reb said, "it was one water bottle short of a six pack!" |
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| Gazelle Girl and Super Trooper with "the tandem!" |
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| Toesetter sporting his Bells Kit! |
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| Sasquatch returns to the Nation! |
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| BN couldn't seem tocapture the flashing lights!!! Oh, the humanity! |
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| Virgin Minion Walter and Dr. Dave discuss finishing strategy as they ride through the Inlet. |
What a fantastic day!!!
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| Super Trooper captured the road shots! |
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| The mighty Shark Minion Nation! |
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| Wishbone sporting his Bells Kit! Bells was popular on the day! |
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| Reb modeling his "beer jersey." He is working on being the new "Style Guy!" |
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| Wildman was back in the Nation!! |
It was a great day in the saddle and the pace was intense! A season high average speed of 18.87 mph was registered on the richter scale!
As fast moving train was baring down on the final desent to the finish, they were all bunched up, but the big red tandem came forward, parting the sea of riders, to capture one, two on the finish. Super Trooper and Gazelle Girl nailed the line with a cast of thousands on their wheel!
The Champs le Galesburg exploded with the paparazzi and tofosi cheering on their heros and the Birthday Girl and "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl as they rode to the Klutch for the Press Conference!
Yeti Boy was waiting at the Klutch and had paid for the koffee! Ya gotta love that guy!!!
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| Gazelle Girl checking the number of candles! |
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| Gazelle Girl getting a very nice rendition of "Happy Birthday!" |
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| Who will cut the cake? |
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| Fabio spent countless hours baking the cake...... |
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| A good time was had by all! |
You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG when it is Shark Minion Jersey Day!
That's right, Bunkie! Break out your original Shark Minion Jersey that you've seen winning Donut Championships!!! It is a much in demand article of cycling attire, so get it on and ride!
Saturday, June 12, 2021
Shark Minion Jersey Day!
Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
Be there!
MINIONS TAKE THE DIRTY DONUT RACE BY STORM!
Zychmann Takes First at Dirty Donut!
The Amazing Yeti Boy Hits the Podium!
A Hutch Sighting!
Stryker Guy Receives Participation Medal AND a Hamburger!!!
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| Fabio a top the podium!!! |
Martin, MI — Competitive gravel racing is back after a year of people riding in their basements. The relatively new Dirty Donut gravel race was held Sunday in Martin with a number of Minion legends participating. Several members of Team Taylor were there as TT helps to sponsor the race. Zychman was adorned in his vintage Shark jersey talking to Hutch about race strategy when the author (also sporting the vintage Shark kit) butted in on the conversation. ZMan informed me that none other than Yeti Boy was ready to go dressed in the latest edition of the Shark jersey.
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| Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy sporting their Minion Kit and discussing strategy on a possible prison break! |
YB and SG exchanged pleasantries at the start of the 41 mile race while Fabio (easier to write) took a picture through what appeared to be a prison fence. YB informed the author that he intended to podium, which brought me to the realization that this would be the last I would see of him until the finish.
Disappointing no one other than himself, he took third in his age bracket, killing it as usual (and wondering why he didn’t place higher???).
Fabio, the great sprinter that he is, decided on the 22 miler and true to form, took first. (It should be noted that Fabio rode with a seat and no beer in his water bottles).
The great Fabio got on the podium looking for something resembling the Tour de France models to award his medal. Instead a 5’7 265 lb. guy with a long white beard and a MAGA hat handed him his medal and gave him a hug!!
The author managed to streak ahead of two tandems, three unicycles, two nine year olds on Schwinn Sting Rays, and a wheelchair (not sure they were in the race). He did receive a beautiful participation medal as shown.
It was a great day for the Minion Nation.
Editors Note - Great write up, Stryker Guy! We need more of your writing!!! All the Shark Minions did the Nation proud!!! The Shark Minions are indeed, a mighty Nation!!!!
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| Yeti Boy takes the podium! |
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| Stryker Guy captures a Participation Medal!!! |
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| Triumphant Fabio! |
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| Fabio showing off his vintage Shark Minion Kit, in his prison photo! |
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
SOLO, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!?!
ADMIRING THAT WOODIE!?!
The "Sweetheart of the Peloton"
takes the honors of best
Red, White & Blue Day
with these stunning socks!
WILL IT EVER BE SUMMER???
WHO WON RED, WHITE & BLUE SATURDAY???
THIS WEEKEND, BEER JERSEY SATURDAY!
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?
Belo News
May 29, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold and crisp over the Shark Cove (39 degrees), we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bounding out of bed and getting ready to ride to the start solo for the first time in many seasons.
Wait,.....what?
That's right, Bunkie! Everyone had baled on him and our hero even wonders if Mad Dog still exists.
Where are you Mad Dog and when will you be back?!? We miss you! All is forgiven!! Come back!!!
It had been years since he had no one from his "entourage" riding over with him!
"Oh, the humanty!" he thought to himself.
"It was probably the cold morning...." he muttered as he pulled on his arm, leg and dorsal warmers......"bunch of puppies......" he said under his breath.......
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| Bounty Hunter returns to the Peloton |
When he arrived at the start, there was no one in sight. One of the old Shark's biggest fears has always been that day when he would arrive at the start and no one would be there.
Was this that day???
He was a bit early, as he did not have Reb slowing him down on the way over with his whining,.... "What's the hurry....." and he did have that tail wind......but........
Soon, Brewman, the ironman of the Shark Minion Nation, arrived. Sharkman was almost giddy at the thought of having at least one Shark Minion to ride with. Brewman was also bundled up pretty good and reminded the Shark that he had that wind to contend with on the way over and the Shark would have it on the way back home......
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| Brewman, Toesetter, Hermster, Gazelle Girl and Bounty Hunter were ready to roll! |
Soon after, Gazelle Girl and her main squeeze, Toesetter rolled in to a shout out from Sharkman (hey, there weren't many there!). This was followed by Bounty Hunter and Hermster, returning to the Nation and making their season debuts!
When Bounty Hunter was asked where the Iceman was he said he couldn't get him out of bed. That it was too cold.......
Wait, ...what? Too cold for the Iceman??? Oh, the humanity!!
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| Brewman saves the day by showing up! |
Now there were 8 riders!
Sharkman, of course, took the first sprint and not wanting to dishonor it, got his sorry butt up to around 23 mph to take it, as he thinking to himself, "How did this get started? It's way too early in the ride to go this fast!"
It was a brisk ride and actually turned out to be the fastest edition of the KK-TdG this season!
One mishap on the ride was that the Shark Nation lost Hermster. He was on at the Rt. 43 smoke stop, but when the Nation got to the top of the col de Norte, no Hermster. Sharkman went back to look from the top of the hill but it was thought that he had turned off. After the ride, subsequent investigative efforts uncovered that Hermster had some sort of mechanical and had to call his wife to pick him up. A reminder to riders.....IF YOU HAVE A MECHANICAL, YELL IT OUT!
Big apology to Hermster for leaving him in the lurch. Let's not let that happen, Shark Minions!!!
We leave no Shark Minion behind! Well, at least most of the time.......
As the fast moving train moved towards the start of the ascent up the col de Norte, none other than Zyckmann, aka Fabio, pulled up on his Woodie! Everyone was admiring his woodie and that might be what caused the Nation to miss the fact that Hermster wasn't in the peloton. (You certainly didn't think that the headline was refering to anything else were you? I mean, come on, we are bunch of old guys on bikes........)
The pace picked up even more with the wind somewhat behind them as the Nation screamed through the Holy Rollers and on to the Inlet.
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| Evel Knievel or Sharkman? You be the judge! |
Fabio (who has a license plate on his Woodie with that on it) did a humongus pull after the Digital Divide and the Nation just held tight on his wheel in a pretty cool pace line, before Gazelle Girl came forward to capture her coveted GGG Spot Sprint.
All was right with the world!
As the Nation headed south for the final sprint, Sharkman went out to the front and pulled until Zyckmann came around him and the Shark was cooked. Bounty Hunter came forward and sailed to an easy win with a cast of thousands on his wheel.
It was another great day in the saddle for the mighty Shark Minion Nation!
Stryker Guy got the sprint to the Klutch, by bypassing on the Champs le Galesburg and disappointing his fans, and getting to the Klutch first to buy koffee for all, which made the Nation happy! Thanks Stryker Guy!!! Sharkman loves that type of sprinting!!
Reb and Fire rolled in, stating they had ridden over to escort their intrepid hero, the Sharkman, back to the Shark Cove! Is this a great country or what?!?
Fire also took second in the Red, White & Blue Day contest behindGazelle Girl, disappointing Sharkman who thought he'd win with his Chris Carmichael Olympic Jacket! Sharkman relegated to a distant third place behind the ladies and was asked by Reb if he was given the jacket by Evel Knievel and not Chris Carmichael. Very funny......The Klutch was rocking for the Press Conference and the koffee was flowing like the Shark Minion Nation on a good day in the pace line (which doesn't happen often).
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| Fire takes second with her Red, White & Blue kit! |
This Saturday!
June 5, 2021
Beer Jersey Day!!!
Hey, it's summer (we think), we drink beer in the summer (well, mostly year round but maybe more in the summer) and we haven't had a jersey day yet!
So pick you favorite beer jersey and come on out to ride with the Nation!
Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
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| The Klutch was rocking! How did Sharkman NOT win the Red, White & Blue Kit Day?!? Just look at him in his kit! Oh, the humanity! Wait, is the Evel Knievel? |
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| What is an edition of Belo News without a photo of Fabio? He didn't get the memo on Red, White & Blue Kit Day! |
