RIDE CANCELLED!!

TOO MUCH RAIN!

It's like Mudman out there!!!

TOO COLD! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!!!!

Belo News

October 29, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - After pouring over weather charts and the radar all day, the Sharkman hizzelf has cancelled tomorrows ride at the Fort.

Too wet, too cold......

Even if it stops raining, the Fort will be a mud hole. And the prediction is for rain off and on till 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. No fun in that......

Until next season, have a great off season Shark Minions and thanks for a fantastic summer of riding!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

THE RIDE GOES ON!!!

WHERE WAS WISHBONE?!?

Studs of the peloton!!!
Can Dr. Dave take a selfie or what?!?!

BACK TO THE FORT THIS SATURDAY!!

IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY CANCELLED....!

WAIT.....WHAT??? 

Belo News

October 23, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - With a death in the family (one of the few reasons Sharkman would ever miss the call) it was up to the mighty Shark Minion Nation to pull a ride together on their own and without adult supervision as Gazelle Girl would not be in attendance either!

Thankfully, two of Belo News Ace Reporters were on the scene and able to report in....

The first was ace, on the scene reporter, Dr. Dave.....sending this criptic text message. After offering his condolences.......

"4 at the start. Joined before the Klutch by Reb and Fire. 43 degrees, dry roads, Opening Sprint defended by Fixit in Sharkman's honor!"

Talk about on the scene, riveting reporting!?! Is the a great country or what?!?

And a photo!!! Oh, the humanity!!!

Apparently Dr. Dave has been wasting his career options helping people get well and doing good in the world when he could, in fact, be writing for Belo News AND doing the selfie every week!! 

Is that a fantastic selfie or what?!?

Ah, if only Sharkman had longer arms........actually, the least of his physical problems.....but we digress.

Next up was this phenomenal, can't take your eyes away, write up on the ride from Ace Reporter, Reb!!!

"Well before sunrise, Reb woke from a deep sleep with the sadness that neither our fearless leader nor his trusted wingman would be participating.  Then he remembered that because it was just Fire and himself and neither one had the social obligations shouldered by Shark, they had decided to leave a little later, he hit the snooze bar and went back to sleep.

The plan was going great, until he rolled up to the “Firehouse” and Fire was still trying to figure out what to wear.  Finally, satisfied with her attire, the two started towards Galesburg. 

Both were a little sad that Butch and Sundance would be absent.

Not pointing fingers, maybe it was the leisurely pace, the wardrobe indecision, or Reb’s choice to hit that snooze bar, the two missed the start by a few minutes but met the four-person peloton riding towards the Klutch. 

Greyhound, the senior minion, gave Reb the “8:00 a.m. - SHARP” look and no further words were needed. 

The six-some, filled out with Dr. Dave, The Swede, and “Jeff”.  (Fix it guy?)  Not sure if Jeff has a minion name; but riding his gravel bike on 45mm tires at 40psi, he soon became known as “off-the-back”. 

The pace was solid as the pack stayed together riding out of Galesburg.  The peloton seemed content to not compete the first sprint until Jeff came from way back to capture the win.  An effort that would have made Shark himself smile.  The group continued north enjoying the ride.  The only real issue was without Gazelle Girl, we had to overcome long stretches of awkward silence.  

As the six riders headed south, they somehow became five with Dr. Dave being called away for a medical emergency.  (Belonews is still waiting for confirmation on this one; our guest contributor might be working on false assumptions.)  

The group finally got serious after crossing G Avenue and formed a pace line with four of the five thinking they had a chance.  

The group rotated the lead with Reb floating to the clean-up spot and the Swede taking the lead.  Greyhound locked into second with Fire tucked between the two big riders.  With the speed picking up, Fire started to lose Greyhouse’s wheel and Reb moved up to third.  

Patience was the theme as the Swede continued to lead.  Reb, knowing he needed to go when gravity was his friend, pulled out of his third spot as the slope maxed out.  

Aware of Reb’s love of the “dickmove”, Greyhound went, and went with a level of horsepower that left Reb and the rest of the peloton in awe, winning easily. 

Greyhound continued his show of strength by buying coffee for the five.  

While the Belonews doesn’t usually announce “rider of the day” and awarding the red number until mid-week, there will be an outcry if it isn’t the man on the Zinn bike. 

The conversation was great as the five warmed up in the Klutch, but were left with several unanswered questions; 

• Where was Wishbone?  Wasn’t he the one that wanted to ride on the road one more week?
• Why was the Swede making Jeff ride an additional 30-50 miles before and after the Tour de Gull in preparation of the Iceman next month?  Someone needs to tell Jeff it’s only a 30-mile race.
• What’s the plan for next week?

While the ride was successful; the tardiness, the limited participation, the lack of actual data, simply reinforces the need of a strong leader.  

Viva la Shark!"

Whoa! Sharkman intends to put in his retirement papers after reading these two accounts of yet another great day in the saddle with the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!! 

Oh, the humanity!

Guess it is time to move to the Fort for some mountain bike riding. Sorry Wishbone!

Though it still looks ridable out there this Saturday, the Fort should be in peak color and hopefully, dry! Well, that and the fact it is late in the year and the trails are calling and riders are getting ready for Iceman.

Sooo......

Saturday, October 30, 2021

Fort Custer Trail Head

The Shark Minions move to the mountain bikes!!!

Launch time from the trail head - 9:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY CANCELLED....!

WAIT.....WHAT???

Belo News

October 28, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - The Sharkman had cancelled the In Lieu of Iceman Ride/Party as he will be attending and giving the eulogy at his Father in Laws Memorial Service on November 6. The following weekend, he will be heading out of town again, so the Shark Minion Nation will be closing down the regular season this Saturday.

A big thank you to the mighty Shark Minion Nation from the Sharkman hizzelf for yet another fantastic season!!!

Looking forward to next season already!!!

WILDMAN TAKES MAKE A WISH DAY!

Wet roads, but hot riders!!!
Is that Rocketman over the left shoulder of Yeti Boy?

BUSY WEEK MAKES FOR A SHORT BLOG!!!

BAD CLEAT SLOWS DOWN FIRE!!

ONE MORE WEEK! ONE MORE WEEK!

ANY JERSEY YOU WANT DAY?!?

BARRY-ROUBIAX FOLLOW UP!

LATE BREAKING NEWS ON "THE LEGEND" KNOW AS

STRYKER GUY!

Belo News

October 16, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, is having an unusually busy week, so we will forego the long story and cut to the chase!!!

Is that Reb, with Fire, in a cycling jersey? 

It was a cold and damp morning as Sharkman, Yeti Boy, Reb and Fire made their way to the start in Galesburg. Hoping to pick up Rule 24 Guy, they were disappointed as they approached the Eaton Plant.

Reb was actually wearing a long sleeve cycling jersey! Wait....what? Yes, it is true!!!

With the cooler temps (48 degrees as Sharkman launched from the Cove) and the roads still damp from an over night rain, the group was not expecting many Shark Minion to be in attendance on this late fall day.

However, and to their suprise, 12 riders made it in for the ride! Is this a great country or what?!?

Riders began pouring in, but only one two were in Make A Wish kit..... 

Yeti Boy was dressed for 
the cold!

Wildman was sporting his Team Eaton/Make A Wish jersey, while Sharkman was wearing a Make A Wish jersey along with, Team Taylor Socks, thinking that would give him a distinct edge in the competition. However, he was also wearing a very stunning wind vest that covered the jersey and rode in it the entire ride because it was, after all, a bit cool.....

Wishbone immediately gave the crown to Wildman with protests from Sharkman of the unfairness, but recieved no back up from his normally supportive Shark Minions. Alas, the title was given, begrudgingly to Wildman over the diminutive Shark's objections....

Rocketman made his usual late appearance, but was able to make the start photo. However, when the editors looked, they could not find Rocketman.....though it is believed that is his helmet just over Yeti Boy's left shoulder in the photo. The phantom rider!

As the Nation headed north of Galesburg, Gazelle Girl and Hoosier Boy led Sharkman out to his honorary sprint as he took it in fulll on, attack mode.

After wardrobe adjustments and crossing G Ave. the fast moving train continued on to the col de Twin Lakes were Fire developed a mechanical with a worn cleat. Actually, the entire toe section of her Look cleat was gone. Reb volunteered to ride back to the Klutch with her and would meet the Nation later for koffee.

Wildman took Jersey honors,
and finished on the podium!

Yeti Boy put in a huge pull after the Rt. 89 crossing taking the fast moving train past the Yorkville Church and past Kellogg Korner, where Skittles, Rocketman and Sharkman went to the front. 

After the short "sit up" after the turn to the final sprint to Rt. 43, the speed picked up again, while Sharkman was enjoying the tow from Rocketman and Skittles.

As the Stop Ahead loomed up front, Sharkman decided to move up next to Skittles, boxing him in behind Rocketman, while then making a semi "Dick Move" by telling Rocketman to look to the right. Bang, .....Sharkman got the sprint!!!

He mentioned to Skittles, that probably won't work in the final sprint, to which Skittles simply said, "No, it won't...."

Sharkman led the Nation on and actually got about half way up the col de Norte before he was passed by the fast moving, Shark Minion Train. The group was moving so well, there was no stop at the summit of the col de Norte.

The Nation blew through the Holy Rollers, the Inlet (with a complete stop) and on to the Digital Divide.

After the crossing, Sharkman led the pace line for a short time, when Skittles, Rocketman and Wildman came forward to pull. Again, the pace immediately went up and as the group started to splinter, the front group seemed to be forgetting again about Gazelle Girl and was taking it north of 25mph!

The "Sweetheart of the peloton!" 
arrives to cheers!

However, Hoosier Boy was there to help the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" to catch back on as the lead group, which had also splintered before Gazelle Girl came foward to achieve her crown at the GGG Spot Sprint!

It was a victory for America!

After the GGG Spot Crossing, Sharkman opened a good size gap as he wanted to spread out the field.

He was surprised that he was pushing 21-22 mph hour, but as he looked back knew that the Nation seemed too damn confident that they could reel him back in at any time. The unrepentented Shark Minions left him out there to suffer until the final ascent to the finish, where he was pretty much "finished" as Wildman, Rocketman, Skittles and school of Shark Minions went flying by him.

Our intrepid hero was able to get a second wind on the way down the final descent, and was actually able to see Rocketman, Wildman and Skittles take the finish with Wishbone a close fourth!

The paparazzi and tofosi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg wondering if this would be the last road ride of the season or not!

Toesetter even braided his beard!

Fire was at the Klutch waiting for the Press Conference, along with her wingman, Reb. Fire had bought the koffee, for a grateful Nation!

Thanks Fire!

The party got rocking and the koffee flowed. There was another protest about the Make A Wish kit winner, as Sharkman took his vest off to show off his jersey, but to no avail.

Wishbone also put in a request to extend the road season, but Sharkman was thinking Fort Custer next.

However, special reporter Gazelle Girl reported that Fort Custer is hosting the "Custer Stampede" this weekend, so the Shark Minion Nation will stay on the road for at least, one more week!!!

Is this a great country or what!??

At press time, the forecast was for a cool but dry morning. If there is any rain in the forecast, watch your email for any ride cancellation.

October 23, 2021 - This Saturday

Skittles was ready after a high
mileage week on the gravel!

"Any Jersey You Want Day!" (you'll probably be wearing a vest or jacket anyway)

Launch Time - 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!!!

BE THERE!

Hooseri Boy arrived with
extra tubes!

Wishbone in his Make a Wish
Chain Gang jersey.

Rocketman actually made the
Start Photo! Well,
sort of.....

Thanks for the koffee, Fire!!!

BARRY-ROUBIAX FOLLOW UP!

Belo News

Raptor! Hey, BN doesn't think
they've seen that jersey!!!

October 2, 2021

Special Report:

Hastings, Mi. - Raptor did some major work to not only get some results from Barry-Roubaix, but some fantastic photos as well!!! Here is his report:

Sharkman, I know you made mention of some of the Minions that rode in Barry-Rubaix.  I did not see a mention of Maid Marion who had an incredible ride of the 36 mile, taking 2^nd place in her age division less that 1 sec behind 1^st.  Snow White also rode but not as a race,  it was her first gravel experience and she cycled for fun and not time.  Doing the 36 course as a beginner is quite a task to take on as an intro to gravel.  

Snow White in her first gravel race!!

I did the 62 mile Masters 51+ and Skittles the 100 because he must be crazy.  

I will attach 1 Photo per e-mail.

Name	Rider	Distance	Class	Time (h)	Pace (mph)	Place
Skittles	Bill	100 mi	Mens Open	6:39	15.05	103rd of 211
Raptor	Walter	62 mi	Mens Masters 51+	3:27	18.00	48th of 139
Maid Marian	Cheryl	36 mi	Women 46-52	1:59	18.11	2nd of 30
Yetty Boy	David	36 mi	Men 66+	2:08	16.88	9th of 38
Snow White	Erin	36 mi	Ride-for-Fun

Yeti Boy in his Team Shark Minion Kit,
kicking butt!

Maid Marian leading the group!!

You can always tell Reb!
He's the one in the T shirt!!
Leading the pack of lycra clad riders!
Oh, the humanity!

LATE BREAKING NEWS ON "THE LEGEND" KNOW AS

STRYKER GUY!

Belo News

The new knee!
How will we beat him now?!?
Oh, the humanity!!

October 20, 2021

Richland, Mi. - As Belo News went to press, there was late breaking news that the "Legend" know as Stryker Guy had successfully survived knew replacement! 

Wait....what?! The Legend had a bum knee? The guy who rode the Continental Divide from Canada to Mexico? Who rode across this great county, the US of A? They guy who kicks ass when the Shark Minion Nation is blessed with his presence?

Yes, THAT Legend!

Stryker Guy, hizzelf, reported in with the attached photo, "They chose not to cut it off! Should be ready for Custer next week?!?

Always self effacing, the veteran Shark Minion went on to say that "he asked that he be able to ride within 5 mph of Sharkman, Yeti Boy, Zyckhman, Gazelle Girl, Toesetter and Bissell Boy, the Lucky Ones, etc. his "alleged hero's" (Editors emphasis) to which the doctor simply replied, "I'm not a miracle worker!!!"

Glade it all went well and the mighty Shark Minion Nation will hold a spot in the peloton for you until you get back!

Styker Guy trying out a
new ride!

Inside sources tell us that Stryker Guy is organizing Endurance Walker Races and plans to put an Aero Bar on his new ride!

All the best from the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Stryker Guy! 

Get well soon!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

 SHARKMAN TAKES INTERNATIONAL JERSEY DAY!!!

TEAM ATHLETIC MENTORS TAKES SPRINT HONORS, AGAIN!!

SEASON HIGH TURNOUT!

Yeti Boy & Reb climbing to the Eaton Plant.

SHARKMAN SAYS, "IT'S STILL WARM OUT THERE!!!"

YETI BOY INVITATION!?! 

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

NEW START TIME! --- NEW START TIME! 

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock!

Belo News

October 9, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn had not yet broken over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, down in his Shark Bike Room, picking out his "Internatinal Day" kit. Sharkman had developed the idea while naming Swede and was excited to be wearing his "Tour of Ireland" jersey that had been gifted to him my none other than that legend of the peloton, Stryker Guy hizzelf!!!

Maid Marion who finished 3rd 
on the day!

Not only was he worked up about the jersey, but he had scored some Irish Shamrock socks on the Internet and was excited about their debut in the peloton. Though he had worn them before, this would be the first time in mighty Shark Minion Nation! (It is easy to get our intrepid hero excited, well, about almost anything......)

It was just a bit dark, foggy and cool, so Sharkman added arm warmers (one of the best cycling inventions known to humanity) and was ready when Yeti Boy rode up sporting his South African Jersey, which he actually purchased IN South Africa! Why didn't Sharkman think of International/State Jersey Day sooner!??

The two made their way to the rendevouz point to pick up Reb and his wingman, Fire on the way over and then Fire picked up the pace. Sharkman hung on to her wheel, enjoying the tow, while he could hear Reb complaining behind them. Well, at least until he was to far behind to hear......

As the sun began to break through the fog, the scenery broke into a cacophony of muted fall colors! (Belo News will give Shark Minions a few moments to look up "cacophony.")

As Fire and Sharkman approached the Eaton Plant, Rule 24 Guy was there waiting. He asked where Reb and Yeti Boy were (yes, they were that far behind!) when Sharkman rode ahead to get the spectacular shot of the two wayward Shark Minions catching back on in front of a fantastic sunrise.

This is a great country!!!

Winner on the day,
Cricket!!!

At the start, riders started piling in and it turned out to be one of the biggest days of the year!!!

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" along with her main squeeze Toesetter rode in to shouts of "Gazelle Girl!!"

The count on the morning was 18 riders that included just a few with International Jerseys like Swede (of course), Yeti Boy in his South African kit, Stryker Guy in a "Camino de Santiago" jersey and new Shark Minion Fixit sporting a very cool UK jersey!

Sharkman was immediately bestowed the honor of "Best International Day Kit" for his matching Irish socks! Is this a great coutnry or what?!?! 

Oh, the excitement!!!

After marching around the start line, strutting his Irish Kit, and making sure everyone saw his socks, Sharkman took the start photo, avoiding the dreaded "selfie" shot and got the party started as the click of pedals and the whir of starting wheels rang out across the great Galesburg area!

Skittles immediately went to the front and pulled our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, to his honorary sprint, looking daper in his Irish colors!! Oh, the dimutive Shark was in his glory on the morning!!!

The Sharkman continued to ride, asking Shark Minions, "did you see my socks match? Uh? did you?" on infinitum.......

The guy who started "International
Kit Day," the Swede!

The ride continued on through the col de Twin Lakes and past the Gull Lake High School when the shout of "Mechanical" was heard after most of the Shark Minions had already crossed Rt. 89.

It turned out that Hoosier Boy had a flat in the run up to Rt. 89 and Hermster stayed with him. Reb and Skittles went back and after a prolonged period, it was learned they went through a few tubes before they found one that held air. Thankfully, Certified Bike Mechanic Skittles was on it but we did learn that Hermster carries like 5 million tubes with him!!! Oh, the humanity! 

The tubs coming out of his wedge was likened by witness to look like clowns coming out of a minature fire engine.....

Hoosier Boy will need to stock up on tubes! 

With a blast of CO2, a whiff of the gas and a mighty "Hi Ho, Silver," the the riders were off again and into the usual fast section of the Kountry Klub!

Past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the turn to the final sprint, the pace continued to climb as the sun warmed the riders backs and the sprint called them to the front.

Up over the col de Norte and through the Holy Rollers there was no let up as Athletic Mentors and Skittles, along with Rocketman and an occassional burst from Hermster, kept the pace up.

Rule 24 Guy in Irish Orange!

Fixit put in an attack on the run up to the Inlet Sprint that seemed to bring the Shark Minion Nation even more alive!

After a FULL stop at the Inlet, the riders took a breath or two before the crossing of the Digital Divide and before Stryker Guy dropped off to head home for family duties.

The pace line started up immediately when Rocketman and Skittles went to the front, joined by Crickett later. The pace got up to a steady 24 mph as the fast moving train moved towards the sprint.

Again, the Shark Minion Nation began to wonder where Gazelle Girl was, but as the mass of riders got closer to the sprint, Gazelle Girl made her move with a lead out from Cricket that took them both, flying past the peloton to take the GGG Spot finish!

It was a victory for America!!!

After the GGG Spot Sprint finish and the crossing, Sharkman began to worry that with all the sprinters in this days group, he needed a rabbit to try to break up the peloton. Initially, it seemed no one joined him as he headed south, but then Rocketman threw himself on his sword and went forward, taking the

speed up to around 24-25 mph!

Fire was, well....on Fire!

Sharkman held on to his wheel, and being second in line, was hoping he could last, at least, until the final climb.

Alas, after a humongus pull, Rocketman pulled off and Sharkman was forced to take over well before the climb.

To his credit (and his amazement) he was able to hold the speed at 24 mph and got them to the base of the hill, and part way up, where he was spent and a cast of thousands, led by Skittles and Cricket, buzzed by him.

He did get a second wind as he began his descent to the final sprint, but it was not enough to get him close.

Meanwhile, at the front, Cricket took the finish with Skittles and Maid Marion just behind him!

It was a fast, clean finish and the pace on the day was 19.07 MPH!

It was a victory for America!!!

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg went wild as the riders zipped up their jerseys for the sponsors and motored their way to the Koffee Klutch for the Press Conference.

Bissell Boy bought the Koffee and it seemed like he has done that on a regular basis this season! Thanks Bissell Boy, we're giving you the rest of the season off on buying koffee! You ROCK!!!

Bissell Boy who bought on the
day!!!

Of course, the season is almost over, but none the less, thanks Bissell Boy!

The Klutch was rocking with the crowd and the Shark Minion Nation had to put two tables together to fit the rowdy riders in. The koffee flowed and the discussion carried on. It is always difficult to see another season winding down and the weather has been incredible! 

While the riders drank, rain feel, but stopped before the ride home. Unfortunately, the roads were wet enough to make the ride home soggy and cold......

But the weather is projected to stay warmish!

So, Sharkman has decided to keep the Shark Minion Nation on the roads for another week, rather than moving to the Fort.

Due to the darkness, and possible "coolness" on Saturday morning the ride is being moved back a half an hour to a 9 a.m. launch.

Sooo......

This Saturday!

October 16, 2021

"Make a Wish Jersey Day!" The Nation hasn't had WAM Jersey Day this year, so pull out that kit to ride! WAM, Make a Wish, Team Taylor or Team Eaton are all in the mix!!!

NEW LAUNCH TIME - NEW LAUNCH TIME - NEW LAUNCH TIME!

Launch Time - 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!

The Klutch was rocking!!!

Be there!!!

The man of many tubes!
Hermster

Toesetter, beard unbraided!

The two "legends," Bissell
Boy and Stryker Guy!

Raptor in his checkerboard!

Yeti Boy, in his South Africa kit!

"Gazelle Girl!"

Reb in long sleeve jersey, 
covered by his T shirt.....

Hoosier Boy!

Skittles was back and took
2d on the day!

Wishbone was ready!

What a celebration of Fall!!!

WANTED: ALIVE - ZYCHKMANN, AKA FABIO!

Belo News

Fabio, aka Zyckhmann!

October 13, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - Has anyone seen Zyckmann, aka Fabio?

An "APSMB" (All Poins Shark Minion Bulletin) has been issued for his return!

The notoriously reclusive rider has hardly been in the Nation this season. 

Where has he gone to?

Last seen a few weeks ago, joining on the Shark Minion Train half way through the ride, at the col de Norte, then having a kup of Koffee at the Klutch and then.....nada!? 

He seems to have simply, disappeared.......

Where are you Fabio! A lonely Shark Minion Nation awaits your return? 

Is it something we said?

All attempts by Belo News to reach the often misunderstood, many named (and mis-spelled) biking phenom, have meet with email rejections sighting the email as being sent to his SPAM file. 

Oh, the humanity!

The Mighty Shark Minion Nation wonders, "when will he return?"

Please come back!!!

We need to get you back to the home!!!

The many faces of Fabio!

Please help us find him!
We need to get him back on 
his meds!

YETI BOY INVITATION!?!

BREAD PARTY THIS SUNDAY AFTERNOON!!!

Belo News

Yeti Boy, rocking the Yankee
Springs Time Trial also rocks
his wood fired oven this Sunday!

October 17, 2021

Bread City, Mi. - Some Shark Minions may not know about Yeti Boy's alter ego. He is a Bread Baker and Pizza maker extraodinaire! 

This Sunday, October 17, 2021, from 3 p.m. until 6 p.m. he is sponsoring a Fundraiser for the Food Bank of Southern Michigan. 

This year he is inviting the mighty Shark Minion Nation and guest to sample his wares. He is promising his home made crackers, breads, cheese, and spreads along with pizza, all produced and baked in his famous wood fired oven! 

Is this a great country or what?!?

Wildman has promised to bring his guitar and there will be outdoor sports (corn hole) as well. 

Plug in 63 West Minges Road, Battle Creek, Mi. 49015 into your GPS and.... 

BE THERE!

RSVP to schweitzerdl@gmail.com 

You won't regret it....just ask Gazelle Girl!!!

P.S......bring lawn chairs and cash or check!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

CELEBRITY OR REGULAR SHARK MINIONS???

These are the mornings you're missing, Bunkie!!!

THE NATION DOESN'T LET SHARKMAN RIDE ALONE!!!

SHARK MINIONS RECEIVE NAMES!!?

Mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to roll!

SHARK MINIONS ROCK BARRY ROUBAIX - BIG TIME!!!

BREWMAN BRINGS MOUNT HALEAKALA TO ITS KNEES!!!

INTERNATIONAL/STATE JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

October 2, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero was slow getting up, wondering with all the Shark Minions riding Barry-Roubiax, would there be anyone to ride with the diminutive shark? 

However, he had received emails and texts from Rainman, Dreamboat, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter that they would, indeed, be riding which made him feel better! Though he wasn't sure if Dreamboat was a celebrity rider or a regular Shark Minion. After all, Dreamboat does live in California, but he has made it to more Shark Minions rides this year than some regular Shark Minions. Is this a great country or what?!?

Returning Shark Minion
now known as "The Swede!"

Needless to say, Sharkman was excited to have them all back, but wondered about his ride over. After all, it had been some time since he had ridden solo to the start......oh, the humanity!

It was a bit dark as he launched, wondering if at least Fire would be at the regular rendevouz spot.

As the Shark approached the intersection of Helmer and Watkins, no Fire.....oh, double the humanity. Our intrepid hero had no entourage on the day........

As he got out to Renton Road he looked back and saw the sun coming up and it was drop dead gorgeous! He had to stop and get that photo!

Interestingly, and with no Fire, our hero still managed a 17.4 mph average on the way over and speculated if it was because there was no Reb whining from the back, "What's the rush?"

As he came down the hill and through town he saw Greyhound sitting in Wishbones regular spot at the Klutch getting an early fueling of Bottomless before heading out.

Virgin Minion Jeff!
Shark Minion Name to be
determined!

As our hero approached the start there were two riders that he did not recognized and quickly welcomed them and introduced himself. One of them, Mike, had ridden the previous week and had also ridden before, but it had been a while. When asked if he had been given a Shark Minion name he stated he had not. Sharkman saw his Sweden Jersey and said, "We don't have a 'Swede' in the group, so you are now "The Swede!" Welcome back to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Swede!

The Swede had brought the second rider, a virgin Minion whose name is Jeff. Sharkman thought he looked familiar but couldn't figure out who he reminded him of. More on that later and his "naming!" Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation Jeff (SMNTBD)!

Immediately after, Hermster pulled in, along with Rainman and Dreamboat. Wildman rode up and then CycoCross, who happened to know the Swede! It was like old home week for the two riders who used to do the Friday night club ride on the same KK-TdG course!

Boxer was back, and then the "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl came riding in with her entourage, including her main squeeze, the legendary Toesetter! Shouts of Gazelle Girl rang out and could be heard all along the Kalamazoo River Valley!

Hermster was back in the mix!

Included in her entourage was Greyhound, who jumped on at the Klutch.

As the start picture was being clicked, Rocketman pulled in and just made the start! For the first time this season!!!

Sharkman gave a warning about chestnuts being all over the road as the sound of pedals clicking in and the whir of tires rang out and through the greater metropolis known as Galesburg, past the Klutch, over the railroad tracks and on up 36th Street.

Sharkman was pressing the flesh and riding with virgin Shark Minion Jeff, still wondering who he looked like, and getting to know the rider better. Sharkman determined him to be good Shark Minion material as he then excused himself and started working his way forward. He was immediately surrounded by Rocketman, Gazelle Girl and Wildman who took him forward just before Rocketman led him out to his honorary first sprint!

The Shark Minion Nation stopped for a wardrobe adjustment, as riders began pealing off layers, and Sharkman snapped a photo.

Celebrity Rider? Shark Minion?
You make the call, but we love
having Dreamboat back so often
this season!!!

Wildman and Sharkman took the lead and feeling frisky, Sharkman went ahead to steal the second sprint as well, though no one really contested it.

As the Nation ascended the col de Twin Lakes, someone noticed Rocketman pull over and as the riders got to the sprint finish, Rocketman wasn't on. But no one heard "Mechanical!"

Being unsure and also being senstive to leaving Reb behind a couple of weeks earlier, Sharkman headed back and found Rocketman cresting the col de Twin Lakes climb (and glad he did not have to climb it again) as Rocketman explained that he had thrown his chain.

With all on, the Shark Minion trained pulled out and headed across Rt. 89, where Dreamboat and Rainman picked up the pull and led the riders past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to Rt. 43, where Hermster put in an attack that was sucked back up by Rainman, Dreamboat, Wildman and Rocketman.

As the riders approached the Col de Norte, there was that legend of the peloton, that world famous mountain climber/hiker, the talk of the peloton, the one, the only, Zychkmanne, also  known as Fabio!!!

Welcome home Fabio! You have been missed!!!

Always good to have Rainman
back in the mix!!

After Sharkman took the count at the summit of the col de Norte, he took off to start the push towards the Holy Rollers, where Hermster put in another attack, leaving Sharkman so far behind it is unkown who won that sprint.

After the fed stop, the Nation continued with a full stop at the Inlet, followed by a safe crossing at the Digital Divide.

Sharkman started the pace line after the crossing, quickly turning it over the young Rainman, who, along with Dreamboat and Rocketman, took the pace up. Actually, they were taking the pace up so well, Sharkman started to get concerned about where Gazelle Girl was and also knew he would not be able to pick up the pace to lead her out!

However, as riders began to look back for the "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Rainman dropped back, picked up Gazelle Girl and began the lead out!! Is this a great country or what!!!

The Nation was in awe as Rainman, with Gazelle Girl, smiling on his wheel, motored to the front to get her in the perfect position to capture her coveted and satifying GGG Spot Sprint! For the young rider, getting married in a few weeks, it was a delightful position to be in as he delivered her to the sprint climax to an explosion of cheers, leaving the everyone simply, breathless!

A svelte Wildman lining up
at the start!

It was a victory for America!!!

After the GGG Spot crossing, Sharkman jumped to the front, hoping to get a rabbit to come forward, but instead getting caught at the short climb at the start of the final sprint.

Hermster threw himself on his sword and rocketed to the front, as the peloton simply waited on his wheel to make their moves.

The pace line was energized and moving like a runaway train on their way to the finish. Rainman, Dreamboat, Swede, Rocketman, Zyckmann, and a cast of thousands moved to the front.

As the fast moving Shark Minions decended to the finish, like a pack of dogs on a meat wagon, Swede moved ahead to take the tape with Fabio taking the second spot, but not being at the start, wasn't eligible. So Rainman took the second spot on the podium with Rocketman locking up the third spot. 

Finishing pace, 18.9 mph average. Considering that included Sharkman going back for Rocketman at the col de Twin Lakes, the speed was probably more like 19 mph! Is this a great country or what?!?

The Nation rocked the Champs le Galesburg as the paparazzi and tofosi went wild!!!

CycoCross "bumping wheels" with
the Swede!

Greyhound was the first to throw his credit card down and picked up the koffee!! Bottomless for everyone! Thanks Greyhound!!!

As they sat around the table at the Press Conference answering questions, it dawned on Sharkman who virgin Minion Jeff looked like. Sharkman thought he looked like the actor Benedict Cumberbatch!!! Sharkman immediately began trying to think of characters he has played, but Sherlock Holmes or Dr. Strange didn't seem to fit. Then Swede told him his name should be "Fixit." Belo News is not sure were that came from, though he is an engineer, and later, Gazelle Girl suggested he be named "Choo Choo" because he is, well, an engineer. Just not a train engineer......

Later in the day, Belo News got an email from Jeff, asking to be put on the distribution, and signed it "Fixit."

What to do....

Time for another "Name the Shark Minion" contest. So let's name Jeff. Will it be Fixit, or Choo Choo?

Simply mail your choice, along with a check made out to Sharkman in the amount of $25.00 (no third party, post dated, out of state checks this time) to Sharkman/CO Belo News, Shark Cove, Michigan. 

Boxer was back and ready to ride!

After the tabulation, those who pick the winnig name will be put in a drawing with the winner getting to buy a kup of Bottomless for Sharkman Hizzelf! Is this a great country or what?!? Second place is buying two kups of koffee for our intrepid hero.......

Is this a great country or what!?? Especially if you're Sharkman hizzelf!

The Klutch rocked and riders stuck around longer, taking in the ambience as the season starts to wind down.

Normally the Shark Minion Nation would move to Fort Custer this time of year, but we still have some warm weather predicted so the Shark Minion Nation will stay on the roads for at least one more week if not longer!!!

And mark you calendars now for the "In Lieu of Iceman Ride" on the first Saturday in November (November 6)!

This Saturday has been named "International/State Jersey Day!" 

Belo News is not sure if we've had this jersey day, but Swede's Sweden Jersey gave Sharkman the idea and he has an international jersey he wants to wear!

So, get out your International or State Jersey and ride, Bunkie!!!

This Saturday, October 9, 2021!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!!!

BE THERE!

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton"
arrives with her 
entourage!

Toesetter was back!!!

The Vortex known as Greyhound!

 

Give it up, Sharkman!

Wardrobe adjustment time......

The joint was jumping!

Chief Barista, Andrew, was wearing
his Shark Minion kit!

Turned out Gazelle Girl and Toesetter
knew virgin Minion Jeff from
a previous life!

SHARK MINIONS ROCK BARRY ROUBAIX - BIG TIME!!!

Belo News

October 2, 2021

Rule 24 Guy, Reb and Yeit Boy
before the race!

Hastings, Mi. - It was a big day for the mighty Shark Minion Nation as they took on that Gravel Road Race known as Barry-Roubaix!

Early reports started coming into Belo News quickly. 

The legend known as Stryker Guy reported he had survied AND finished, as well as Bissell Boy, who had a very good time!

It was also learned that Reb turned in another outstanding performance, and actual PR as did his wingman, Yeti boy and Rule 24 Guy!

The star of the day was our own Skittles who competed in the 100 mile race (what was he thinking? .......We don't know!) and turned in an unbelievable 15. 05 mph average! Oh, the humanity!!!

Stryker Guy raced in his 
Shark Minion kit!
You go, Stryker Guy!

These Shark Minions did the Nation proud!!!

Stryker Guy and Bissell Boy after
turning in a great day
on the road!

Bissell Boy lines up to ride!

Skittles rocked the 100 miler 
(actually, 104.8!)

Skittles stats! 
The man is a legend!!!

BREWMAN BRINGS MOUNT HALEAKALA TO ITS KNEES!!!

Belo News

Brewman ready for the descent!

October 3, 2021

Maui, Hawaii - Our own Brewman reported in from Hawaii (who even knew he was there?!?)

Early Sunday morning (Maui time) that legend known as Brewman took on Mount Haleakala in the National Park. Sending a note, just before his massive descent, Brewman simply comment in the way only humble Shark Minion can do, and we quote....." Brewman getting ready to rip down Mount Haleakala after watching the sun rise." Not even an exclamation point! This man knows how to make a points!!! And what a sunrise it was!!! Oh, the humanity!

Belo News has not heard from Brewman since, but has assumed he rocked the course! Thanks for reporting in Brewman and we look forward to getting all the details!!!!

What a sunrise!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.