SHARKMAN TAKES BEER JERSEY DAY, BUYS HIS OWN BEER!

KID DOSTER EDGES OUT FALCON, ZYKMON IN EPIC FINISH!

BREWMAN BECOMES AN OFFICIAL "LUCKY ONE" THIS WEEK! 

CONGRATULATIONS BREWMAN!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

"LUCKY ONES" LUNCH COMING UP!

POSSIBLE 4TH OF JULY RIDE SLATED!

GUEST COLUMNIST REB - SHARK GET'S A WEEK OFF!

Belo News
June 22, 2019
Reporter Reb

(Big thanks to Ace Reporter Reb for writing this weeks Edition!)

Shark Cove, Mi. -As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, Sharkman awoke on the couch and looked over at the empty Maker’s Mark bottle and his glass that still contained ice.  "Damn," he thought to himself; “better get out of here before Lava Girl wakes up."

The Shark chewing on his Bit O Honey! He
liked his own jersey so much he
named himself the winner and bought
his own koffee!

Grabbing his dirty kit out of the hamper as to avoid waking up his beautiful bride, he scuffed on his shoes and headed out the door to find Yeti Boy circling in the cul de sac.  The Breadman was as enthusiastic as ever and expressed that this might be the best weather of the year.

All the Shark could think was "I’m really hurting so why don’t you shut up and do another hundred burpees?” as the duo rode towards Galesburg.

A mile into their journey, they noticed a pair of bike lights that could only be Reb and Fire.  Happy to know that the funny and attractive Fire; the obvious heir to Gazelle Girls throne, would be joining the group on the ride over.

On the contrary, he could only wonder if just once, she would leave her dim-witted ogre of a neighbor at home, just once.  However, he was hopeful that if he and Fire could set a fast-enough pace, Yeti would hang back and talk golf or bread with the fat kid.

"Didn’t really matter" he thought, "as long as I don’t have to listen him."

Forty minutes later the foursome was rolling by the Klutch, but no one was waving.  "Eh, probably can’t see us because of the angle of the sun," thought the Shark.

As the moment of launch grew closer, the silhouette of Gazelle Girl could be seen in the distance

Yeti Boy and his full Sail
Brewing Kit!

framed by the rising sun.  As the peloton screamed out their traditional, enthusiastic welcome to the Sweetheart of the Peloton, Sharky contemplated quietly to himself that while the Nation loved, GG more than life; that like the blog, maybe it was time for some new blood as his eyes wondered over to the virgin minion in the short, cute little kit and imagined how it would feel if she was allowed freedom to finish first on the G-Spot sprint.

(Editors Note - Man, this guy was smoking something as we all know, Sharkman only has eyes for his beloved Lava Girl who sometimes reads the blog and Gazelle Girl ain't giving up the GGG Spot for anyone.....!)

Back to reality (Editors Note - Yes please, back to reality!), shark and the rest of the peloton rode through town with minimal response from both the patrons of the Klutch and the residents of Galesburg.  Sharky wonder if they were indeed, over his group of veloheads.

Despite his best efforts to avoid taking the first sprint by hanging at the back, Shark realized that this devoted and loyal peloton would undoubtably go in reverse in order to avoid winning the first sprint.  So with his dirty kit starting to smell like the Kentucky bourbon from the night before, Sharky followed his lead-out train to take victory.  "Damn, my head is starting to hurt..." was all that was going through his mind. (Editors Note - Special thanks to Ranger Rick for the early lead out followed by LK, who took it up a notch and got Sharkman his sprint at 24.6 mph! Also a thanks to Ranger Rick for the Bit O Honey pre ride! It fired the Old Shark up for the first sprint!)

The middle of the ride was pretty uneventful, except when the ageless wonder, Zyckmann took a sprint on a wooden bicycle.  Shark felt sadness for the lovely people at Team Active who try to convince all the Zyckmann wannabes that a 13-pound carbon-framed steed will allow them to win sprints when obviously it’s the Native American, not the arrow.  As the almighty Zyck was waving to this Gull Lake fans, Shark reflected on Zyckmann’s request to change his minion name to Fabio to reflect his masculinity and his prowess with the ladies.  Shark thought to himself that “DIGJAM” might be a better option.  (DamnI’mGoodJustAskMe)

(Editors Note - It should be pointed out that Sharkman was leading into the Rt. 43 sprint when new Minion Hermster went by like a speeding bullet when Ziyckmanne and the nation responded. But alas, Hermster couldn't hold it and bowed to Zyickmonne in the end!)

Brewman and his Schalafly
Brewing Kit!

(Editors Note - Gazelle Girl was able to review an early addition to this write up and took exception over the fact that there is no mention of her trouncing of Falcon after being led out by LK on her GGG Spot Sprint. She was given an opportunity to submit a rebuttal but as of press time, nothing was received. Suffice it to say, she CRUSHED all comers and retained her title of GGG Spot Sprint Queen.)

As they approached the final sprint, the peloton was bunched up behind Wildman.  (Editors Note - it should be noted that Wildman threw himself on his sword for the good of the Nation by stretching out the peloton (thanks Wildman, you rock!) and that Sharkman rode him like a rented mule.)

Besides dumbass Reb, Wildman is definitely the best windscreen to draft behind.  Shark, just off Wildman’s wheel, waited as long as he could before sprinting around his bandmate with the hope of finishing on the podium and enjoying the ride through the streets of Galesburg and hearing the screams of hundreds.

With everything lining up perfectly, Shark realizing that his podium finish was on the tip of his dorsal, but mother-bleeping Reb gets him by a third of a wheel.

What a “dick-move” was all he could think, but offered instead a heart-felt congrats because that’s the type of person Sharkman is (Editors Note - Thank you Reb....).  To make matter worse, Reb announces that he’s staying for coffee leaving Shark thinking; “great, one more person who ain’t buying coffee and worse yet, he’ll probably talk.”

True to form, Reb claims that his $5 bill fell out of his kit (like $5 was going to cover the tab) and some nice minion stepped up buying his coffee.  But all ended well with great conversation and Zyckmann offering to share his piece of pie with everyone.  Is this a great country of what!

26 riders, and the Nation finally shattered the 19 mph season average speed with a 19.17 mph average! Oh, the humanity!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Tony the Tiger/Kellogg Jersey Kit Day!

That's right, blow the dust of the Kellogg Kit and ride!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Thanks Ranger Rick!!!

Zykcmonn and his Left Hand
Brewing Kit!

Virgin Minion, Stryker Girl!
Welcome to the Nation!

LK was back and leading the pack!

The Klutch was rocking!

Gazelle Girl making her "Grand Entrance!"

Thanks for a great write up Reb and for giving the Sharkman the week off! Nice job!

THE LEGEND KNOWN AS BREWMAN IS RETIRING! 

Brewman can now grow that beard
whenever he wants!!!
Oh, to be a Lucky One!
Welcome to the club Brewman!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
June 23, 2019

Kalamazoo, Mi. - That legend, that Cal Ripkin/Lou Gerhig of the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Brewman will be retiring this Friday, which will be his last day of work. If rumors are correct, his actual last day of "work" was years ago. He just won't have to show up at the office after Friday!

Seriously, congratulations to one of the class guys of the mighty Shark Minion nation!

Help us celebrate this occassion at the Lucky One's Lunch Ride on July 9! (see next story)

Congratulations and best wishes on a long and bike filled retirement Brewman!





"LUCKY ONES" LUNCH COMING UP!

Belo News
June 24, 2019

Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - Since Brewman is joining the ranks of the "Lucky Ones" it is appropriate to have the first Lucky One's Lunch Ride of the season to the Walldorff! We will be celebrating Brewman's retirement on this ride and welcoming him into the fold, though he has done the ride before, he has never done it as a true Lucky One!

Is this a great country or what?!? Oh, yes it is Bunkie!

Join us for this great ride up to the Walldorff and help us celebrate with the Brewman!

All are welcome, retired or not!

POSSIBLE 4TH OF JULY RIDE SLATED!

Belo News
July 4, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - Several Minions have asked about a 4th of July Special Edition on the south route so watch for more information next week, but right now, the Shark is planning on it!

Is this a great country or what?!?





SPEAKING OF LUCKY ONES.......!

Belo News
June 23, 2019

News Room, Mi. - Absent Minion, OKC.....(Other Kevin Camp) sent in the attached that he received after demoing a bike.

Apparently OKC had done a test ride of a Yeti mountain bike with Mike's Team Active out at the Fort. He got the attached text for riding the Yeti and thought of the retired Minions who go by the same name.

Copy right infringement? Wait, maybe the Nation is the infringer.....
Thanks for sharing OKC and get back on the road bike and ride with the Nation!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

IT DIDN'T RAIN!!!

ROCKETMAN TAKES THE SPRINT!

SHARKMAN LEFT OUT TO DRY!?! OH, THE HUMANITY!

SHARK MINION NATION BEATS PARADE!!!

THIS SATURDAY IS BEER JERSEY DAY!

Belo News
June 15, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke a bit dark over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was running around setting up flowers and candy for his main squeeze, Lava Girl. It was Lava Girls birthday and he had contemplated not riding, but they had celebrated the night before and had plans for dinner, plus, he had flowers and candy! What else could be done?!? So he decided to ride!!!

Nikeboy making his debut in
complete "Style Guy" fashion!

The forecast was dismal, but the radar indicated that the rain would hold off, so donning his beloved Shark Minion Jersey, our hero was ready to rock as Yeti Boy and Nikeboy pulled up to the Shark Cove!

Nikeboy was making his season premier and was, of course, decked out in sartorial splendor.....

As they got to Watkins, they saw Reb and Fire approaching and Sharkman thought to himself that all was right in the Realm!

As they approached the Koffee Klutch they saw Wishbones' bike resting against the wall and Wishbone looking out at the street enjoying his first kup of koffee. But they seemed unable to get a wave from them as they wave to the early morning koffee group. Was he sleeping.....?

There was a concern that the threat of rain would hold the numbers down and it was beginning to look as though it would. However, as launch time neared, the riders continued to pile in and Belo News was pleased to see the number go over 15 so that names would not need to be remembered!

Brewman was back and continues his ironman streak of consecutive KK-TdG starts. At present, he is the Lou Gerhig/Cal Ripken of the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

You go, Brewman!

Team Tandem was back and looking good in their matching Shark Minion kit!

Team Tandem in Shark Minion Kit!
Do they look great or what?!?

Stroker was back after his equipment failure of the previous week and riding a very sweet Specialized loaner from Mike's Team Active!

Gazelle Girl rode in with this weeks, "Other Guy" who was none other than our own Toesetter!

The group was ready to rock it as Sharkman reiterated last week's "Chalk Talk" on safety and included that riders needed to be better about shouting out road hazards like pot holes, fallen branches, road kill, etc. but also that if a pot hole pops up the rider has to suck it up and hit it rather than swerve in a packed peloton.

After the Start Photo, Sharkman got the train moving towards town as Nikcboy dropped off, but PJ jumped on. Total was 17 riders and 16 bikes and Sharkman started singing "Good Morning America How Are you!" as they passed the klutch with a wave to their fans!

Greyhound, Boatman and PJ all jumped on after the Nation pulled out of the station.

Reb was back after breaking the sub
8 minute category at the 6k last week. Not
a 3k, but a 6k? BN apologizes
for making that mistake.
Happy Reb?

As they headed north, Sharkman rode up and down the peloton doing yet, another count, pressing the flesh and just happy to be riding on a day that was supposed to be full of rain and storms.

Fire was leading out until Team Tandem came around and pulled our hero to a 24.4 mph win of the first sprint. It was a victory for America!

Thanks Team Tandem!

The ride continued on through the col de Twin Lakes, where Sharkman actually attacked a hill for a change....past the Yorkville Church, through Kellogg Korner, past the Kountry Klub and up to the Rt. 43 sprint. This always seems to be one of the faster sections and this week was no exception!

Sharkman led the fast moving train out onto Rt. 43 and the Nation stayed in single file until the base of the col de Norte, where the riders swarmed up the hill like spiders on a wall.

Sharkman wasn't going to get left behind again this week, so he went to the front and fought to stay on the peloton as the speed picked up in the run up to the Holy Rollers.

Yeti Boy jumped out in the Holy Rollers and easily took the sprint as the Nation pulled up behind him at the Feed Stop and before heading out on the low road to the inlet.

Brewman continue his streak!
But couldn't keep his eyes opened....

After the Digital Divide, Sharkman announced that Gazelle Girl would determine the direction of the pace line and today, she stated the wind dictated a clockwise pace line. The Nation tried hard, and at times it seemed like they were going to pull it off, but it was a yo-yo type of line that only came together out of pure coincidence.......

Yet Gazelle Girl was set for her "Victory for America" assault on the GGG Spot Sprint, which she took with some pushing from Rocketman and Padre.

Gazelle Girl and "the Other Guy."

Then it happened......

Sharkman, concerned that there was no more Tow Truck, no more Hossman.....Skittles was gone.....oh, the humanity! The Nation needed a lead out rider!

Sharkman hates when the run up to the sprint goes slow and riders begin to jockey for position, so he started out get the Nation moving, but no one followed.

Sharkman kept looking in his mirror and no one, no one,
no one, was coming around!!!

Sharkman couldn't believe his beloved Nation would leave him out there all alone! "Where were they?" he thought to  himself as he looked at his speed at between 21 and 23 mph. No where near where the legends Tow Truck, Hossman or Skittles could produce, but hard for our aging hero.

As he reached the final ascent before the finish, he look and a counter attack was just beginning to form, but continued to try to throw himself on his sword for the good of the Nation!

As he crested the summit, he was gassed but fought on and as the peloton began to form up and come around him as he was hitting the wall.

Reb shouted out that he had voted to let the Sharkman go, but was voted down by the Nation........wait, what?

Sharkman was able to get a second win and move up after dropping to near last in the Nation, but Rocketman took the sprint with a cast of thousands on his wheel.

Average speed was still not over 19 mph, which is unusual for this time of year, but training has been at a minimum with all the rain......

But there was no rain on this day!!!

The fans went crazy on the Champs le Galesburg, not only for their hero's but for the upcoming Galesburg Day Parade!

Thanks for the Koffee, Yeti Boy!

The Klutch was rocking and Andrews whole family was working to cover for him, as he was busy as Co-Chair of Galesburg Days! Congratulations Andrew, you did the Nation proud!!!

Yeti Boy threw down the first $20 to buy and actually got change back as only 7 of the Nation stopped for koffee, while the rest of the Nation hurried to beat the parade out of Galesburg.

Thanks Yeti Boy!


The Koffee flowed as the Nation perched in their reserved seating!

There was a very nice tail wind for Yeti Boy and Sharkman as they returned to the Shark Cove!

It was a perfect morning to be in the saddle and there was NO RAIN!

And the Nation was out of town before the parade got started!

Sharkman also wanted to thank the Nation for doing a great job of group riding today! Riders stayed to the right, listened when others shouted out and for pointing out road hazards! Great job, mighty Shark Minion Nation and thanks for playing nice together!

Is this a great country or what?!?

You won't want to miss this weeks edition when the Nation celebrates summer with.....

BEER JERSEY DAY!

That's right, Bunkie! Break out your favorite beer jersey! Best Beer jersey gets to buy Sharkman's koffee! MMmmm....this might be Brewman's first absence!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Saturday, June 22,, 2019

Beer Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

HUGE TURNOUT AS WEATHER WARMS!

The Nation was out in force on Saturday!

TWENTY SIX BIKES, TWENTY FIVE RIDERS?!?

MORE VIRGIN MINIONS!!!

ANGRY MOTORIST, MINIONS RESPOND!!!

SEEING DOTS?!?

HOOSIER BOY BUYS! OH, THE HUMANITY!

"What was I thinking???"

"CHALK TALK ABOUT SAFETY!!!

MINIONS AT THE DONUT RACE!!!

GALESBURG DAYS THIS SATURDAY!

SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News
June 8, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - First up, safety "Chalk Talk!"

With the dramatic increase in riders on Saturday, the Sharkman would like to say a few works about safety and courtesy on the KK-TdG.

The Sharkman Hizzelf!

With the dramatic jump in riders this past week, it was somewhat apparent that the Minion Nation had forgotten some of their safety rules, so I would like to go over, just a couple to insure everyone is riding safe.

1. If "Car Back!" is called out, move to the right and get into, no more than 2 abreast as quickly as possible. On several occasions the call went out to move right and riders were extremely slow to do so. By law, riders can ride two abreast, no more. Our friends around Gull Lake are usually pretty patient with us as we can block the road, so it is incumbent upon each of us to make sure we are moving over as quickly as possible. PLEASE MOVE TO THE RIGHT WHEN YOU HEAR "CAR BACK!"

2.  When the Nation pulls up to a stop sign, please, immediately get as far to the right as possible. The Nation should not block the intersection and if we are to the right we can wave cars around. Please stay well to the right at the stop signs.

3.  I do want to thank the Nation for the patience shown when the angry woman shouted at the Nation when we stopped at G Ave. on the way north. As she told us that we needed to get off the road, no one yelled back or responded in a negative way, which is how the Nation should respond. Nothing is gained by dignifying this type of reaction, with any type of response. 

Nuff said!

We now return to our regularly scheduled story......

As dawn broke sunny, but a bit cool over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was ready to rock it! He had fixed the flat tire on his front Ksyrium wheel and was feeling fast! He also was trying to decide what to wear as he was concerned it was a bit nippy for the ride over, but would warm as the morning wore on.

Virgin Minion "Hermster!"

"Arm warmers" he thought as he also added an base layer to his fine cycle wear!

As the Shark Garage Door lifted, there was Yeti Boy, in short sleeves, complaining he may have under dressed.

As the two riders made there way along Watkins, they picked up Fire, but no Reb. Fire informed the two that Reb was running in the Cereal City 5K and wouldn't be taking part in the real sporting event of the morning......

Other than an inordinate amount of road kill being noticed, particularly a rather large deer in the middle of the road into Galesburg, the jaunt was indistinguishable.

The three noticed Wishbones bike resting against the Klutch as they waved at the early morning group and headed on to the start.

At the Start, Sharkman immediately notice new riders.

First up was Virgin Minion "Hermster!" Sharkman loves it when a Virgin Minion comes with his own name! Second up was another Virgin who had a nick name, "Shooie!" When asked how to spell his name he replied, "any way you want to!!" Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Hermster and Shooie!

Virgin Minion "Shooie!"

Riders started piling in like crazy and Sharkman was glad that he had the 15 rider rule. When there are more than 15 riders Belo News is not required to name each rider and Minions will need to distinguish themselves in some way to be mentioned in this publication.

And distinguishing themselves in "some way" was what Easty and Katie did as they came flying in, not only on a tandem, but in matching kit! Is this a great country or what!?!

Either would have been a treat for the Nation, but the kit they were wearing had the Minions "seeing dots!!!

Gazelle Girl snuck in once again, with the sun shining on her shoulder, as Sharkman called for the Nation to line up for the start photo.

After a reminder to stay two abreast through town so Toesetter wouldn't be assaulted in the local Hardware Store, the Nation left the station to the sound of pedals clicking in!

It was a beautiful morning to be in the Nation and all Sharkman could think of was Easty and Katie on the tandem and the lyrics from "City of New Orleans."

Easty and Katie in matching kit,
on their tandem!

The Nation was seeing dots!!!

"Riding with the mighty Minion Nation,
Champs le Galesburg, early morning sun,
25 bikes and 26 Minion Riders,
Sharkman smiling, he was ready for some fun!

Good morning America, how are you! 

I said, don't you know me, I'm your native son! 
I'm the train they call the mighty Minion Nation, 
we'll be gone 500 miles when the day is done!"

As the Nation headed north, more riders jumped on. Wildman and Sasquatch went to the front and pulled our hero until Ranger Rick flew by and took Sharkman to his honorary sprint, which he took at 24.1 mph! He was feeling the love on this beautiful morning!

Eric the Red, making his season debut!

The pace seemed quick with the excitement in the peloton and as the Nation moved towards the sprint before the col de Twin Lakes, the "Tandem Team," in a flash of dots, went by the nation like a semi truck out of control and easily took the sprint! From that point on, each of the riders fought to get on the wheel and in the wake of the mighty "Tandem Team" as they sucked riders along!

Sharkman described the experience as "surreal" as he dropped in and out of the dot driven wake from time to time. He hadn't seen a tandem since the famous "Z Train" several years back. Long term Minions may remember the couple from New Zealand who use to ride with the Nation and actually take sprints! Oh, the humanity!

The ride continued past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner (which was pretty clean, has the Skipper been out?), the Kountry Klub section and into the Rt. 43 sprint. Sharkman led out and as the stop ahead came into view, Zyckmann made his move with Skittles on his wheel. In a close battle,  Zyckmann edged out the win.

At the top of the col de Norte, Sharkman made sure all were on and began to talk with Bissell Boy about the great crowd and what a great day it was and before he knew it the peloton was gone!

I. O. U. Beer was back after a
long hiatus!

Sharkman fought to try to get back on and grabbed every wheel he could that went by, but settled on Dr. Dave as he was riding so smoothly right through the Holy Rollers and on to the feed stop!

Thank you Dr. Dave!

It was during this section that Stroker reported that he could not shift. Oh, the humanity!

At the Feed Stop, Sharkman asked Team Mechanic Skittles, if he could take a look at it. The diagnosis was not good. The shift cable on the rear derailleur had snapped. Skittles jury rigged the derailleur so that Stroker had at least, 2 gears for the hard, slow, return to the Klutch.

The Nation again, took the low road, and then lined up for the traditional pace line after the Digital Divide with Skittles at the front.

As the Minion train passed through the bend near the GGG Spot Sprint, there was Toesetter, bringing his beloved "Sweetheart of the Peloton" to the front. Beard braided and flying in the wind, leading his lady out, it was a thing of beauty as the Nation cheered them on!

Wishbone wondering, "Where did
all these Minions come from?"

It was a victory for America, as the Nation roared their approval!

Sharkman gave a brief, "be careful" as the Nation headed south to the final sprint.

Sharkman was worried that without Hossman or Tow Truck,  who would stretch out this large group of riders.

Sharkman and Rocketman went to the front to get the train moving but it wasn't long before Skittles moved forward and drove the Nation hard. Skittles took up the speed and spread out the Nation as they ascended the final hill and it was all out after that. Skittles had thrown himself on his sword for the safety of the Nation and it was another well fought final with LK taking the final sprint!

Average Speed - 18.97 mph. Fastest ride of the year.

The Nation was stopped on the Champs le Galesburg by another cycling group heading into town. The paparazzi and the tofosi were a bit confused and no one knew who these riders were, but a few of the Minions were upset that someone was on "Shark" turf and named them the "Jets...." Get it? Sharks, Jets, .......?

You can see the "angry ladies" car approaching.

As the Minions piled into the Klutch,  Hoosier Boy was set to buy.  And he bought for everyone! EVERYONE!!! Is this a great country or what?!? What was he thinking? It was thought he was thinking not many would stop, but man, was he wrong! The Minions just kept coming in!

Rumor has it he is getting a second mortgage to pay off the debt and has sought counseling.

Thanks Hoosier Boy, you shouldn't have to buy koffee for the rest of the year!

The Klutch was rocking! In addition to the reserved table, another table was procured for the over flow as Hoosier Boy broke out into his biggest sweat of the day! Oh, the humanity!

Snowman making his season debut!
When did he jump on?

The paparazzi was clamouring for autographs and photos as the riders quaffed down copious amounts of Bottomless Kups of Koffee! Is this a great country or what!?!

The refills were a bit slow in coming, as Andrew and the team were running around trying to keep up with the mob that just kept coming!

But, all good things must end and Yeti Boy, Fire and Sharkman headed up that dang Eaton hill and back to the Shark Cove.

It was a great morning to be a Minion!

You won't want to miss this week edition, though Sharkman may! It is Lava Girls Birthday and the itinerary for the day is still in question.

But the ride goes on!

Because it is Galesburg Days this Saturday, it will also be SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

That's right, Bunkie! Break out the Shark Kit and be ready to ride for the tofosi!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Add caption

MINIONS AT THE DONUT RACE!!!

Belo News

They looked sort of happy before the rain.......

June 9, 2019
Written by Skittles

Martin, Mi. - Dawn broke damp and not so cold over Skittle Castle, The Dirty Donut Ride on his schedule for the day.  This event takes place at US131 Motorsports Park and is a multi-distance gravel event where time is deducted for each donut eaten. 

Our Hero met up with Echo, Dreamboat, Stryker Guy and Dave/Christina at the start.  AND WHO IS THIS?!  RAINMAN?!  Rainman Riding on a day with a strong chance of Rain?!  Who’d have thunk it? This was turning into a mini-Minion Ride. 

Numbers were attached to handlebars and the riders, vainly hoping the rain would hold off for the entire sixty-four miles they planned to ride, clipped in and took off.  Rainman, Dreamboat Dr. Dave and Dave/Christina decided on a fairly high pace, with Skittles and Echo deciding to take it a bit easier

A bunch of Minions ready to rock the Donut Race!

The day doused in rain, Dirty Donut Ride had become a Mud and Sticky Sand Fest, beautiful in its own way.  Our heroes were ensconced in the sights and sounds of falling rain, gravel crunching under tires, lush green grass, turtles and a pair of horses galloping along in their yards, unimpressed farm dogs hanging out in their drive-ways looking on at the lycra-clad riders, the surprisingly loud buzz of a high tension power line in the steady rain.

Closing on the finish with about four miles to go, Skittles decided to test his fitness, he hit the gas to see if he could catch Dave/Christina, which he did, he checked over his shoulder and was stunned to see Dreamboat on his wheel. "This is a race now" he thought to himself and maneuvered to force Dreamboat to lead him out on the next-to-final straight.  Skittles smartly sat on

Dreamboat was in the mix!

Yep, pretty happy before the rains came....

Dreamboat’s wheel getting his glasses plastering with mud since he did not want to lose the “good air” behind his opponent.  He took the lead following a left hand turn into the Drag Strip, glanced back to check Dreamboat’s position and couldn’t see him at all, he pulled off his glasses intending to put them in his helmet vents, but having no time for this, he put them in his mouth, glanced at Dreamboat’s position on the road and crossed the line.  The cycling world is surely poorer for not having an action shot of our hero in a dead sprint with his glasses in his mouth!  OH THE HUMANITY!

As the legend, Stryker Guy said,
"This is what you look like with mud and
gravel all over you and your bike!

Skittles took his age group, as did Stryker Guy!

Rainman remembering why he doesn't ride
in the rain! Oh, the humanity!

More Minions!

Dreamboat loved the race!

Congratulations to all those who finished the Donut Race! You did the Nation proud! And thanks for Skittles for the story and for Skittles and Rainman for the photos! Nice job!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

WHO FINISHED ON THE PODIUM?

Minion are everywhere!
(Photo courtesy of Dr. Dave)

DOES ANYONE KNOW!!!

WHO BOUGHT KOFFEE?

NO ONE?!?

OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

35TH STREET RAMP CLOSED?!?

RIDERS LATE?!?

SHARKMAN'S ENTOURAGE BACK???

SURPRISE CELEBRITY RIDER IN THE MIX?

The mighty Minion Nation read to rock the KK-TdG!

WHAT IS GOING ON???

Belo News
June 5, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and warm over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman bolted from bed as he realized he had not put his summer wheels on his steed! Oh, the humanity.

Celebrity Rider Dreamboat was
back in the mix!!!

After a cup of Shark coffee, he got the Ksyrium wheels out of storage and one of them was flat. "Probably from being stored for the winter months...." he thought to himself.....

Wrong! Flat tire. Too late to fix. Our hero would be riding with one regular wheel and one Ksyrium wheel.......dang.......

Yeti Boy was back and right on time for launch! After two weeks of solo rides, Sharkman was soooo happy to have his wing man back.

As the two made their way down Watkins, they saw two sets of headlights ahead and realized it was Reb and Fire, making her season debut! The entourage was back and Sharkman was feeling the love!!!

Is this a great country or what!?!

As the riders made their way to the start, Sharkman could not believe the number of cars passing them on the road down the hill from the Eaton plant and on the Champs le Galesburg. What the .......was there a convention in the quite burg of Galesburg that the Sharkman was not aware of?

Virgin Minion Mark (NTBD)!
Welcome to the Nation Mark (NTBD)!

They passed the Koffee Klutch and waved to the Early Morning group and headed to the start.

As they pulled into the start, it was apparent that the summer crowd of Minions were returning to the fold!

A number of minions were back, making their season debuts. In addition to Fire, Hossman, making his last ride before moving to Colorado and becoming a future celebrity rider, Ranger Rick, Dr. Dave, Rocketman, Falcon and Wildman!

Toesetter was making his return after recent surgery, and Zyckmann/Fabio was back, sans the Vanity Plate, but sporting a new seat! Oh, the humanity!

Much to the Nations joy, Dreamboat was making a return to the peloton as a "Surprise Celebrity Rider!"

Welcome back, Dreamboat!

Gazelle Girl snuck in with, yet another "other guy" (this week it was Boatman) with the sun shining on her shoulder!

There was also a virgin Minion in the mix by the name of Mark (NTBD) who was a friend of Padre's.

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Mark (NTBD)!

Ranger Rick was back and
taking photos!

Speaking of Padre, he pulled in as Sharkman was getting ready to do the start photos and as Kia Pet, Brewman, Toast and Greyhound filled out the field! Padre got out of his car complaining that the ramp/road was closed on 35th and it delayed him, stating he thought Belo News should have put something out. Yeah, right, like Belo News knows anything about anything going on! Ha ha!

This did explain all the cars on the way into Galesburg......

Twenty riders lined up for the start photo as Sharkman blessed the start and the Nation was off for another tour of their field of dreams known as the KK-TdG!

As they passed the Klutch, the early morning group waved in adoration and the Nation headed to the north!

Sharkman worked up and down the pace line pressing the flesh like he was running for office.

No on took the turn for the A group (which may be a dead group because it wasn't as much fun as the B group) and Falcon and Hossman opened a gap.

Sharkman was sure they would let up as they approached the Honorary Sharkman Sprint, but they just kept going.

Hossman making his season debut!

Falcon pulled aside, later stating that he thought Hossman was Sharkman, and Hossman took the sprint. This resulted in booing an an angry crowd as their hero did not take the sprint, but Sharkman was still feeling the love and declared Hossman the winner of the sprint on his last Minion ride and he was able to stop the angry mob from lynching Falcon!

As the ride went on, Kid Doster also jumped on as Dr. Dave dropped off and Toesetter, who was just back from surgery, decided to cut over at the A Group split and meet the Nation on the east side of the lake.

The Nation headed through the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church and Kellogg Korner and on to the Kountry Klub section.

After the traditional "sit up" after this section, Sharkman got on Zykmann's wheel as he went to the front and rode him like a rented mule. Waiting until the last second, Sharkman came around him and just as he was about to take the sprint, got passed on the left by a surging Padre. Oh, the humanity!

The Nation headed up the col de Norte, through the Holy Rollers and at the Feed Stop decided to again, take the low road, where CycoCross joined on complaining that he had missed the start due to the situation on 35th Street. Toesetter had joined up with him and Sharkman had lost any semblance of the number of riders!

Zykmann was back from lawn work a
week early!

The ride seemed quick there were at times, several gaps that opened. It seemed that if a rider lost the wheel in front of them, it took quite an effort to get back on before the next sprint.

That changed as everyone played nice after the Digital Divide and a nice pace line formed up and after clicking north of 22 mph, afforded the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" yet another victory for America.

On the final sprint to glory, Hossman worked his way to the front, as is his style, and took the speed up as the Nation hung on to his wheel. After a huge pull, Hossman peaked at the final ascent and riders started going by him and battling down to the finish.

Unfortunately, Sharkman was so busy battling with Zyckmann, who he passed and then got passed by 4 times, he did not see who won the sprint or even who placed. Sharkman asked riders who had taken the sprint, but no one seemed to know. Maybe they thought they'd have to buy if they won?

Average speed on the day was actually down a bit, to 18.84 mph.

Hossman's last ride with the Nation!
Oh, the humanity!

Interestingly, there was no sprint to the Koffee Klutch, as the Nation headed down the champs le Galesburg taking in the shouts and applause from the many tofosi and paparazzi along the road.

Only 10 of the 23+ riders stopped for Koffee and though Yeti Boy bought Sharkman koffee (what a great Minion) there was no buying. Yep, the Nation was back to the summer schedule!

The Nation talked about how great it was to have Dreamboat back in the peloton, but how said they were to see Hossman leave. Who will pull the Nation apart in the final sprint with out Hossman or Towtruck? Oh, the humanity!

After another lengthy session at the Klutch, Sharkman and Yeti Boy headed back to the Shark Cove with a TAIL WIND!

Is this a great country or what!?!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

And the 35th Street may or may not be blocked!

Be there!

Yeti Boy was back!

Toesetter recovering well and riding strong!

Gazelle Girl with the sun on her shoulder!

Dr. Dave making his season debut!

Kia Pet was back in the mix

Rocketman was back!

Falcon before his major first
sprint faux paux!

Is that Wildman? Really? He's back?

That's right Bunkie! The Nation gets
reserved seating at the Klutch!

The Nation lining up at the first G crossing!
(Photo courtesy of Ranger Rick)

The gathering of the Klan!
(Photo courtesy of Ranger Rick)

Sharkman briefing the Nation!
(Photo courtesy of Ranger Rick)

The Nation rocking the Klutch!

It was a great day be in the Nation!

DON'T FORGET THE MOTORCYCLE RIDE SUNDAY!

Belo News

June 9, 2019

Hickory Corner, Mi. - Don't forget that this Sunday the mighty Shark Minion Nation Motorcycle Team will be invading the Gilmore Care Museum to enjoy the 2019 Vintage Motorcycle Show!

That's right, Bunkie! If you have a motorcycle, join the Nation at the show and then enjoy a ride up to the Walldorff for lunch and to celebrate Gazelle Girls birthday.

Make sure you let Sharkman know you are attending so that you can be contacted in the event weather cancels the ride!

All the details are below! 

Be there for the first ever, mighty Shark Minion Nation Motorcycle Ride!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.