WILDMAN TAKES FINAL!

The mighty Minion Nation ready to roll!

STRYKER GUY FIGHTS BACK!

ATTENDANCE WINNER(S) ANNOUNCED!

FINAL SEASON STANDINGS!

BIG EVENTS COMING UP!

BANJOVI AT THE KOFFEE KLUTCH TONIGHT!

Belo News

October 3, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn begins to slowly break over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, still snuggled under his Shark Bed Spread, snoring away in his half Shark, half Spiderman PJ's (readers can guess which half was half....) dreaming of winning sprints and accepting the accolades of fans throwing bouquets of flowers, cheese and wine his way as he rides gloriously up the Champs le Galesburg......when suddenly, he awakes to realize he had overslept!

The launch time temps where
not friendly.....

Oh, the humanity, what happened?

Jumping out of bed with the agility of a peanut butter being poured from a jar, our hero is completely confused as he scrambles to get the koffee started and to check the Shark Radar.......

OK, koffee, …....check......

Radar, no rain....check.......

No time.....oh, the humanity!

Thinking, “Get dressed before Mad Dog shows up in the driveway, check!” our hero tries or organize his thoughts and get ready!

Putting on leg warmers, extra layers and a cold weather scull cap, our hero gets his lights loaded on his helmet and bike and is slowly getting ready to rock!

Sharkman and his posse!

But wait....where is Mad Dog.......?

It is 7:30 a.m. and no Mad Dog, who usually shows up a bit early.......

Sharkman stands thinking, “wait, we moved the launch time....am I early......?” Was all the rushing for naught?

Sharkman goes back in the house, takes another sip of koffee and then realizes, despite his “just got out of bed” fogginess, that the time is correct! Oh, how silly, Sharkman is never wrong!

As he gets on his steed and starts his launch from the Cove, he receives a text on his Shark iPhone.

It is Mad Dog,..... “forgot water bottles, went back, I'll catch up to you on the road!”

Hoosier Boy with his cup of Starbucks.

As the old Shark starts to slowly wake up on the bike, he sees a bike headlight blinking ahead and knows it is Reb heading his way. At the same time, Mad Dog arrives from the rear, lights flashing in the dark as the sun seems reluctant, much like Sharkman, to wake up on the day. Sharkman is thinking “man that bed was nice and warm.....”

As the Sharkman and the two Minions ride west at a brisk 18 mph, they realize the wind is behind them and that unless something changes dramatically, they will be riding against that wind on the way home!

As they approach the start, they wonder with the cold weather if many of the mighty Minion Nation will be in attendance for the last road ride and Shark Minion Jersey Day.

However, much to their delight, they find riders unloading bikes and riding in to the start at a pretty good clip.

A gathering of the klan!

Normally it is the policy of Belo News that if there are more than 15 riders, they do not necessarily get named in the blog (unless they led Sharkman out, buy him koffee or distinguish themselves in some other embarrassing way), however, this has more to do with memory than policy.

None the less, because it was the last ride of the year, Belo News will do their best in naming those who made the last road ride and we think it is correct as the count was

In addition to Sharkman, Mad Dog and Reb, Nikeboy (who had to leave after the start) Hoosier Boy, Hossman, Wildman, Brewman, Gazelle Girl, Tow Truck, Stryker Guy, PT, Wishbone, Greyhound, Hambone, and that “Other Guy,” Ironman!

What a turn out on a cold morning!

At launch time, it was 44 degrees with winds out of the ENE of 15 mph and gusting, making it feel more like 39 degrees! But the Nation was not to be deterred!

Wait.....Sharkman bought?!?

As the Nation went by the Klutch, Andrew came out for the count and fans lined the street to watch their hero's ride by.

An army of riders led Sharkman out to the first sprint (and last honorary sprint of the season) and the ride picked up in earnest after that.

Through the col de Twin Lakes, past Rt. 89, up the col de No Name, past a very gravely Kellogg Korner (where everyone commented that Skipper better get out and sweep that korner or we may be forced to re-name it Gravel Pit) on through the Kountry Klub and on to the col de Norte. Interestingly, the ride seemed to be a ride of slow, social sections, followed by intense sprinting.

Mad Dog and PT discuss strategy after the ride.

A great Minion ride!

As the Nation crossed the Digital Divide and began their normal sometime pace line, Gazelle Girl, Mad Dog and Ironman went to the front to control the unruly Nation.

As the pace picked up to 18-19 mph Sharkman commented to Tow Truck, “I guess Gazelle Girl is in control and is going to take this sprint doing 18 mph.”

True to his prediction, Gazelle Girl shot from the peloton within a few inches of the line, sealing the last GGG Spot Sprint of the season at a sering 19 mph, with the shouts of the Nation ringing in her ears.

The final sprint was not as controlled!

Sharkman was thinking with Tow Truck and Hossman in the mix, the pace line would be stretched out, but as the Nation picked up speed, they were all still bunched as they climbed the last ascent to the finish. As they bore down on the final sprint of the year, Tow Truck made a move to the front with a cast of thousands behind him.

The battle was on as Tow Truck, Wildman and Ironman moved to the front to fight it out.

Wildman was able to make a final surge with Tow Truck and Ironman on his wheel to finish the season on a very high note!

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg were in a frenzied state, knowing this would be the final trip down the storied road for the 2015 season!

Since it was Sharkman's birthday, he bought the koffee for everyone!

Wait, what? Sharkman bought? Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman was rewarded with a rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday” from his adoring Minion Nation and a very special

Scary, uh?

Birthday Card from Gazelle Girl with her patented scary doll on the front! Oh, the humanity!

Is this a great country or what!?!

The koffee flowed and the crowd stayed around a bit longer than normal, primarily because they did not want to ride home in the wind.

Suffice it to say, the ride back to the Shark Cove was “BRUTAL!” The wind was un-abating, and the total average speed for the ride was 2 mph less than normal.

Additionally, within 20 minutes of returning to the Cove, the rain started! Oh, the humanity, what a way to end the season!

STRYKER GUY FIGHTS BACK!

Belo News

October 7

Stryker Guy defends jersey!

Richland, Mi. - Regular Belo News readers are well aware of the allegations lodged in last weeks Belo News by Minion Easty. Actually, they were so scathing that one Minion stated, “really showed some balls to put his name to that email!”

But Stryker Guy was not to be denied his rebuttal! When asked on the ride Saturday if he was going to respond, the legendary rider stated, “in time, in time...”

Just yesterday, Stryker Guy submitted his response, which follows, unedited by Belo News!

Stryker Guy speaks:

Sharkman--

It has taken me some time to gather my thoughts and respond to my fellow Minion--Easty--regarding my jersey selection and alleged "grandstanding" in front of my wife on the Gull Lake Drive stretch to M-43. I'm hurt and disappointed (not really, but it always sounds better if you're in pain somehow) that my good friend and comrade on pedals has chosen to portray the altered "HI" State jersey as anything other than a feeble attempt at humoring my brothers (and sister) Minions on Game Jersey Day.

I have one college jersey--Ohio State, where I met my wife and did spend time coaching and learning(?) in the 80's. For most Minions, including me, the 80's were generally forgettable (other than I got married and had a kid...better make sure my wife doesn't read the next blog!). I am NOT a Buckeye fan! I would have put some kind of expletive on the jersey, but I wasn't that creative at 6:30 a.m.

As far as my "move" to the front after the Kountry Klub turn...for the record I pulled at least 50 more yards than the alleged 22 by Mr. East. Hey, I have to show off once in a while. I'm not sure my wife even believes I ride with you guys. She thinks I hang out at the Klutch and wait for everyone to come back and drink coffee.

From now on I will Tweet my rebuttals...wait, I don't have a Twitter account.

I am already missing the Nation.

Have a great Fall.

SG

Well said, Stryker Guy, well said.....

ATTENDANCE WINNER (S) ANNOUNCED!

FINAL SEASON STANDINGS!

Belo News

October 7, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - The moment the entire Nation has been waiting for is here!

Yes, this years Attendance Winner AND the Final Season Standings were announced this week at Belo News Corporate Headquarters.

ATTENDANCE WINNER (S)

For those Minions who are unaware, the season attendance record has been an ongoing battle between Mad Dog and Gazelle Girl. Both riders have made every single Minion KK-TdG ride this season, having attendance that is even better than the Sharkman hizzelf! Whoa, nice work Minions. Though Gazelle Girl has filed a grievance against Mad Dog because he did not attend the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred, he claimed that it was not an official KK-TdG sanctioned ride.

What to do, what to do.....

Sharkman loves all his Minions so he had only one alternative.....

The winner of the Attendance Award is therefore BOTH Gazelle Girl* and Mad Dog! Gazelle Girl will get an asterik next to her name, siting that she did ride the BEU, but to our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, they are both winners!

FINAL SEASON STANDINGS

Each year the Nation awaits the final season standings, wondering who will be named the top riders for the season. This is why, we at Belo News just loving being in charge of this blog!

So here are the final, irrevocable standings on the year!

First Place – Sharkman

I owe it all to my sponsors!
Well, and of course, my Minions!

Second Place – someone else

Third Place – some other Minion

Congratulations to Sharkman who wins yet another Cyclist of the Year award and to his runner ups!

After hearing about being awarded this honor, Sharkman was quoted as saying “Is this a great country or what!”

BIG EVENTS COMING UP!

Belo News

October 7, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - Though the official road season has ended, there are still some upcoming Minion rides that the Nation need to get on their calendars!

Saturday, October 24, 2015 – Annual Barry-Roubaix Training ride with lunch at the Waldorf!

Launch time – 9:00 A.M. from the K-Mart Parking lot!

Saturday, November 7, 2015 – First Annual “In Lieu of Iceman” Ride and Year End Party!

Launch time 1:30 p.m from the pavilion at the west end of Whitford and Lawler Lake. We will ride the trails, enjoy a post BYO beverage and then head to Players for dinner and beer around 4 p.m. Where spouses/significant others can join the party. It is important that Minions RSVP to Sharkman by October 24, 2015 so that we can give an estimate to Players so they can have appropriate staff available. You won't want to miss this one!

More on both these in a future, special addition Belo News!

BANJOVI AT THE KOFFEE KLUTCH TONIGHT!

Belo News

October 8, 2015

Banjovi at the Klutch!

Galesburg, Mi – Back by popular demand, Banjovi will again be appearing at the Koffee Klutch tonight, October 8, 2015 for Open Mic Night. Banjovi rocked the house the last time and their fans want more! They had to quickly work up a couple of new songs, but don't worry, they have so few, they will be playing their old songs as well! Come on out and hear their medially of hit!

Things get started around 6:30 p.m. And it is predicted to be standing room only!

See you all there!

DON'T FORGET FURNACE FEST!

Belo News

October 7, 2015

Kalamazoo, Mi. - And don't forget that Gazelle Girl is looking for a great turn out for Furnace Fest and the Nation can get a chance to see Cycocross, legendary Minion rider, and his band, Joe Wang and the Test Pilots perform! Gazelle Girl is also accepting donations for this event!

So contact Gazelle Girl if you would like to make a donation to this important cause!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.