HOW
MANY FLATS CAN ONE SHARK HAVE?
B-ROD
TAKES THE TAPE!
 |
Oberon takes the day as Toast
photo bombs the group
in a Wine Jersey! |
CALHOUN
COUNTY TRAIL GRAND OPENING THIS SATURDAY AFTERNOON!
TOUR
de TAYLOR RIDE JUNE 13, 2015!
TEAM
TAYLOR/WAM JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
Belo
News
May
29, 2015
 |
Airman and Fat Tire. His last Tuesday
Night Ride? (See story in "In other
News!") |
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke damp over the Shark Cove, we find our
intrepid hero dashing out of his Shark Bed and running to check the
Shark Radar. Always the optimist, particularly on Saturday Mornings,
his first thought was, “there is rain out there, but it could roll
below us and leave us dry.” After all, the Weather Bug had
reported no rain until around 11 a.m. when the old Shark would
historically be back at the Cove after a great, dry ride of 53
miles!
It
was also Beer Jersey Day, and Sharkman hates to miss any “Jersey”
day, especially “Beer Jersey Day!”
Donning
his Schlitz retro jersey, he noticed a text from Mad Dog that had
come in at 6:12 a.m. stating, “I'll see you on the road!”
Sharkman
launched in dry air at 7:00 a.m. sans Rainman. After all, there was a
“threat” of rain and he is, “The Rainman”. As our hero rode
out he found Reb heading towards him and when he got to Sharkman he
stated, “where is your entourage this morning? Threat of rain?”
 |
| Yeti Boy and Full Sail Brewing! |
Sharkman
replied that Mad Dog was getting extra miles in and just as he was
explaining that to Reb, Mad Dog rode towards them, coming over the
hill near the Animal Shelter.
As
the three rode over they discussed how they all believed the rain
would hold off until after the ride. They also wondered how many
riders would show with the threat of rain.
As
they arrived at the start, they found a number of riders coming in
and getting ready for the ride.
As
the Minions gathered, the first drops of rain began to
fall.......wait, …...what?
Of
course, Sharkman was unique in his Schlitz Retro Jersey, but there
were other unique jersey's such as Zychmann's Right Brain Brewing,
Airman in his Fat Tire Brewery, Yeti Boy with a Full Sail Beer, Tie
Die sporting an Alpine Beer Company, and somehow, Toast and Easty got
confused with Toast wearing a wine jersey and Easty thinking it was
Drug Jersey Day!
 |
| Zychmann and Right Brain Brewery! |
Is
this a great country or what?!
There
were also a ton of Oberon jerseys of all kinds, with Toesetter,
Boatman, Hoosier Boy, B-Rod, and Greyhound all sporting the iconic
brand of beer from Bell's.
Gazelle
Girl rode in as the press was taking photos and the Nation did not
get a chance to shout out her name.....! Oh, the humanity!
Also
in attendance were Iceman, Chains the Bounty Hunter who had both
ridden over from Mattawan, the Great Dane and Dragonfly was back for
more action this week!
As
Sharkman called out the start, the rain started to fall in earnest,
but not hard. That was the way it would be for most of the ride, as
the rain was steady, but more of a drizzle than an outright rain. It
was later reported by Reb, who had to head back home after the start,
that it poured on his way back to Battle Creek and later, Rainman
reported that he tried to ride and got caught in the same downpour!
(Wait.....what? Rainman went out in the rain anyway? What's that all
about?).
 |
| Tie Dye and Alpine Beer Company! |
Andrew
came out to take the count of 20 riders as they passed the Klutch and
later, Dr. Dave in his Oberon Jersey, joined on making it 21 riders
on the morning, not bad considering the weather and the fact that
Iceman and Chains the Bounty Hunter had ridden over from Mattawan!
As
the Nation headed north, the rain picked up a bit and Mad Dog and
B-Rod pulled our hero out. Sharkman was feeling good and made his
move a bit early and had too work hard, which he does not like to do,
to keep out front and take the first sprint. He later stated that he
thought they were further up 37th than they were.....(he
must be losing it......) After the G Ave. stop and Sharkman's
confirmation of the count, the Nation headed to the next sprint, but
no one seemed interested contesting the sprint in the fun up to the
col de Twin Lakes.
 |
| Toast thought it was "Wine Jersey Day!" |
The
Nation bunched up on the climb but then spread out as Mad Dog went to
the front, after the climb, to take the next sprint.
The
rain continued as the Nation made the turn at the Yorkville Church
and headed through Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub and on to the
Rt. 43 Sprint where Zychman came from the back and as he went by,
Sharkman latched on but could not overtake him before the sprint.
Sharkman
led the Nation through the Caution Area on Rt. 43 but was overtaking
at the foot of the climb to the col de Norte.
The
Nation stopped at the summit with the ENTIRE NATION stopping on the
right side of the road, did not circle the intersection and did not
get in the road!
 |
| Easty thought it was "Drug Jersey Day!" |
Sharkman complemented the Nation with special
recognition to Gazelle Girl for starting the “trend to the right.”
The
Nation headed south through the Holy Rollers and as they moved out
from Frona's and made the turn south, a hush went over the Nation as
Sharkman shouted out, “Mechanical!”
 |
It might be Beer Jersey Day, but
Hoosier Boy had his koffee! |
The
Sharkman's rear tire had flatted and the entire Nation was in shock
as no one, including the old Shark, could remember his ever having a
flat on the KK-TdG! Even when the phenomenon known as the “Bermuda
Triangle of Flat Tires” just after the Digital Divide AND the year
someone spread nails in the road, Sharkman somehow had come through
unscathed.
But
not on this wet and wild day!
None
the less, Sharkman, ever the bike savant, gave a clinic on swift tire
changing. It was later described by witnesses as being like watching
a skilled pit crew at the Indy 500 or a classical concert pianist
playing Mozart on a fine baby grand piano!
Assisted
by his loyal Wingman, Yeti Boy, he quickly got to the side of the
road and while the Great Dane held his bike and Yeti Boy pulled out
Sharkman's tire, prepped in Baby Powder, the tire was changed in the
blink of an eye and a puff of said Baby Powder while B-Rod complained
it was taking too long. However, he was quickly booed by the nation
who seemed to be mesmerized by the artistry of Sharkman's skill with
tire changing! He and Yeti Boy did have a minor problem getting the
last bit of tire
 |
| Boatman & Toesetter in Bell's colors! |
bead up over the rim (see photo), but B-Rod, ever
the heavy hander, quickly flipped the bead over the rim and after a
spit of CO2 and another puff of Baby Powder, they were off once
again!
But
not for long. It appeared there wasn't enough CO2 in the tire and
Sharkman gave it a second jolt that was enough to keep him going!
The
Nation formed up at the Digital Divide and began to form something
similar to a pace line as they crossed.
Immediately,
everyone wondered if the Sweetheart of the Peloton would contest her
beloved GGG Spot Sprint!
As
the Nation bore down, Gazelle Girl found herself throughly boxed in
as her coveted GGG Spot Sprint approached. Someone beckoned her to
“take what's rightfully hers” to which the Sweetheart of the
Peloton bellowed, “But I'm boxed in!” However, The Nation,
(being “The Nation”) opened up that box and allowed our
Sweetheart to achieve satisfaction! After everyone had their
cigarette, Gazelle Girl was
 |
The Greyhound looks even taller
in his Oberon Jersey! |
heard cooing, “Is this a great country
or what?!?”
Indeed
it is Gazelle Girl, indeed it is......
The
Nation formed up for the final assault and stayed pretty bunched
together as the sped to the final sprint with Iceman putting in a
humongous pull at the front. Though he backed off for a short time,
the venerable podium dweller came back to the front at the summit of
the final climb. The Nation was like an out of control train engine,
throwing water up from their tires with riders spitting out small
mammals that were coming off their tires from the rain.
Emerging
from the mass of riders, B-Rod and Chains the Bounty Hunter shot out
of the pack like a ham and cheese sandwich from a super models mouth
with Iceman hot on their wheels. The three seemed glued together
before B-Rod edged out Chains with Iceman taking the third spot on
the podium.
The
fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the heroes of the road
came ambling in to the Klutch, wet and wild from the ride.
 |
| Two old guys giving a tire change clinic! |
However,
when they got in the Klutch, three young ladies were getting foo foo
koffee and it backed the Nation up into the street outside.
Sharkman, being Sharkman, cut in line near the front but still had to
wait. When Zychmann made it to the front of the line to order koffee
and Andrew asked him what he wanted he said, “I can't remember....I
was young when I got in line!”
The
Great Dane bought for Sharkman, which made him a happy Shark and
before long the Nation was sitting, talking and still reminiscing
about the clinic Sharkman conducted on tire changing.
 |
| Baby Powder? Wait, .....what? |
Sharkman
was, however, in a hurry as Lava Girl was having a big shindig at the
house and he had to get back, clean up and get out, before all the
ladies arrived! As Sharkman jumped on his steed and launched across
the street, he felt something funny in the front wheel! What, could
it be....could it possibly be......Oh, the humanity......his front
tire was flat!
Luckily,
Mad Dog had an extra tube (which was not encased in Baby
Powder.....oh the shame) and CO2 and before Yeti Boy could get his
care and get back, the tire was changed and they were off again! Oh,
that Sharkman! What a tire changing savant!
What
can happen this week? Well, Bunkie, come on out and ride to find
out!
This
Saturday is Team Taylor/WAM Jersey Day!
That's
right! In support of Team Taylor and Make a Wish and in prep for next
week's Tour de Taylor, it will be Team Taylor/Make a Wish Jersey Day!
 |
| Rainman in his driveway! What the..... |
So
break out your Team Taylor/Make a Wish/Eaton Team Jersey's and come
on out and join the fun! Who know's, flat's come in three's and
Sharkman is due for one more! You too, may get to see him at work!
Oh, the humanity!
Saturday,
June 6, 2015
Team
Taylor/Make a Wish/Eaton Team Jersey Day!
Launch
Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
And
remember, no ride June 13 as the Nation rides the Tour de Taylor!
GRAND
OPENING OF CALHOUN COUNTY TRAIL!
Come
and ride with Sharkman and Lava Girl!
Belo
News
June
3, 2015
Battle
Creek, Mi. - The new Calhoun County Trailways Alliance is planning a
Grand Opening for the new trail extension on the east side of Battle
Creek, heading towards Marshall, Michigan and linking the Battle
Creek Linear Park with the Trail across the county.
This
will be a great event that includes a ride and fun run along the
trail, Bounce House for the kids, Disc Golf Demo, Kid's games and
more! The Nation's own Hoosier Boy is a part of the Alliance and
Sharkman and Lava Girl plan on being there for the ride and would
like as many of the Nation to be there as possible to support this
great biking effort!
Come
on out and enjoy the ride with Sharkman and Lava Girl!
TOUR
de TAYLOR RIDE SATURDAY, JUNE 13, 2015
Belo
News
June
3, 2015
Mattawan,
Mi. - The KK-TdG will be suspended on Saturday, June 13 as the Nation
will be riding the Tour de Taylor in Mattawan, Michigan that day. If
you haven't entered, you need to do so now, though you did miss the
deadline for the cool Tech T Shirt!
Team
Taylor is a huge part of the Nation and we would like to encourage
the Nation to be a part of this ride! Last year the Nation fielded a
pretty good size group and rode the 100K ride as a team. So get your
registration in as soon as possible!
The
Nation will meet between 7-7:30 a.m. at the start and launch at 7:30
a.m. - SHARP!
Be
there!
“IN
OTHER NEWS”
Belo
News
June
3, 2015
Augusta,
Mi. - Due to all the rain over the weekend, Ride Leader Reb took the
wise decision to cancel the Monday Mountain Bike Ride as the trails
needed some drying out and no one wants to “rut up” the trails.
It is hoped the Nation will be back out there next Monday.
However,
the Tuesday night ride was back in action, sans Sharkman who was up
in Lansing. However, Special Reporter Mad Dog submitted the
following story and though you may have needed to be there to
understand, it is worth the read. These intrepid riders decided to
go out to dinner at La Cocina after turning in a speedy 20.6 mph
average and finding out it was Airman's last ride as he is moving up
to Grand Rapids. The beer consumption may explain the story.
Here
goes.....
"The
reason for the contrite report by Airman will be evident after
reading this in-depth report of the actual events:
Needing
to get out of the house early after over hearing a podcast playing on
the in-law's computer proclaiming Michelle Obama to be a man because
her fingers are too long, I left the house early. Waiting to get onto
Capital, Nike Boy goes past on a very stylish cruiser with full
fenders and mud flaps. If you thought he looked good on Sat.
mornings, you should see him on his way to yoga. This guy even has
casual shoes to match his yoga outfit.
I
arrive at K2 with Wildman, Airman, and Stingray all set to go. Even
though its before 5:30 Airman says "Lets roll, no one else is
coming" in a very take charge authoritative voice. The rest of
us, like good Minions, voice concerns about leaving early in case
someone else should show up, to which Airman says "No one else
ever shows up, lets go!" Unfortunately, our Minion need for a
leader took over and we followed him out of the parking lot like
lemmings to start our ride.
Barely
into the ride we hear a call out from behind, and looking back its
none other than Hoosier Boy making his Tues. night debut. Not only
did we almost leave a Minion behind, but Airman tries to blame the
early departure on Mad Dog!
The
group worked hard and stayed together till just before the end with
an average of 21 mph.
Upon
learning this would be Airman's last Tues. night ride, Wildman,
Stingray and I met for a farewell meal. After some casual
conversation Airman slips in a term supposedly referring to a seat
post. Now we're not sure if it was the tall beer (which he really
didn't want), or lack of blood sugar (due to the waiter not bring him
his soft drink), but the rest of us soon realized he was mixing up
terms and images. It seems he has been hiding, shall we say an
alternative magazine, inside a bike magazine, and when caught by his
wife reading said rag, quickly flipped to a review of some seat post,
thus fusing the term and image together in his mind.
Upon
seeing the utter disbelief and shock in our faces upon learning the
definition of Airman's new word, he tries to deflect the whole
situation with yet another new word, evidently often used in
conjunction with the first. All these words and definitions were
questionable quick to be found by him on his phone, like everyone
should know them.
We
end the evening realizing all Minions should be warned when Airman is
in charge."
Editors
Note – well, we are not sure what you guys are talking about, but
it is obvious that adult supervision, and particularly Sharkman, is
needed whenever a few Minions are gathered together. And especially when beer is involved!
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider
involved.
