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| Sharkman and his famous flat tire! |
HOW MANY MINIONS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A TIRE?
FLAT TIRE EXTRAVAGANZA!
SHARKLETS EXTRAVAGANZA ALL OVER THE KLUTCH!
Belo News
July 7, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero could hardly wait to wake up his son in law, the Great Moultini, and get him out on the bike! Particularly after some Oberon the night before! But, to the Great Moultini's credit, he was sleeping out on the living room couch so his alarm wouldn't wake up his Sharklet son, Beck, and he was ready to rumble. As the Shark Clock hit 7:00 a.m. the Rainman pulled up to the Cove and they began the trip over to the start.
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| Moutlini on Bissell Boys Kestrel! |
The Great Moultini was outfitted with a pretty nifty Kestrel, courtesy of Bissell Boy, and the previous evening, Sharkman had put on the Great Moultini's pedals, and had adjusted the seat and put on an extra water bottle cage as the heat was predicted to hit 100 degrees once again. After some minor adjustments to the shifters, they were off to the start.
It was hard to determine if it was the heat, or the Nation just had trouble sleeping, or both, but the riders were in the lot waiting when our hero arrived with Moultini and Rainman.
Belo News realized, as they noted Bling Girl was back in the peloton the previous week and did not mention it in the blog, that Bling Girl was back again despite not getting named! So welcome back, Bling Girl.
After announcing that this weeks celebrity rider was none other than Sharkman's son in law, the Great Moultini, followed by a few press photo's, Sharkman then announced that due to the Gull Lake Triathlon, the Minion Nation would be heading south. The Skipper got things started as the sound of riders clicking in echoed throughout the school yard. Ah, is there any sweeter sound in the morning?
As the Nation rolled by the Klutch, Luann was at her customary station to wave hello and good luck to the peloton but looked a bit concerned as the nation headed south instead of north at the light.
Skipper and Wildman led the Nation to Qman hill, where Sharkman shot to the front and after a strong lead out by both Skipper and Wildman, took the first, honorary sprint.
Sharkman also stole the next sprint from his son in law, as he seemed to be the only person who knew where the stop ahead signs were located. Actually, he seemed to be the only person who knew where the Nation was heading!
There seemed to be even more confusion in the peloton when Sharkman stated that all the stop aheads were printed in the Race Manual, however no one but Sharkman seemed to know anything about any "Race Manual."
There seemed to be even more confusion in the peloton when Sharkman stated that all the stop aheads were printed in the Race Manual, however no one but Sharkman seemed to know anything about any "Race Manual."
It became increasingly apparent that Sharkman was the only rider who knew where the hell the Nation was going. However, he did point out many of the scenic spots along the route like a waterfall, the "Tillers Farm" where they teach third world farmers how to till with oxen, the road to no where, the Railroad House, and lots of railroad track crossings.
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| Skipper supervises Sharkman's work! |
The pace was pretty quick and as the peloton was heading back east, the Sharkman hizzelf experienced his first flat tires in years! Oh, the humanity.
Seeking some shade, our hero moved off the road, followed by loyal minions Skipper and Wildman who dedicatedly, assisted the old Shark on one of the faster tire changes this peloton has experienced! Oh, there was plenty of complaining about, "are you done yet?" and "how much longer?" but with in the puff of baby powder and a whiff of CO2, the Shark had his new tube installed! Wildman even presented our hero with a Wet/Wipe to clean his soiled hands! Now that is a real Minion! Sharkman then led the nation out to Scotts, Michigan.
It was here that three riders, Tow Truck, Chico and Rainman took the lead and never looked back. As the Nation headed through Scotts, where they were supposed to turn, the Sharkman ordered his Minions to track them down and bring them back to the peloton or to turn east at the next intersection so that County MN could be avoided. But no one could catch the three riders!
Sharkman asked Polar Bear to send all the Minions east to 36th so they could return on the designated route while Hutch, Ranger Rick and Sharkman went after the wayward threesome.
Despite the effort, the three riders could not be caught or could hear the shouts from behind and it was only at MN that Rainman reported that they had ridden on as Chico had to get back by 10 a.m., so the riders then headed over on MN, to catch the returning peloton for the finish down Qman hill to the finish.
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| Bikes lined up at the Klutch! |
The Nation headed down Qman hill as Rainman and Sharkman went back to check for stragglers, one of which wasn't even a Minion! Belo News was unable to determine who took the sprint however Sharkman had 19.7 mph average on his computer as he arrived at the Klutch!
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| Minions descend on the Klutch! |
To the sound of Minions ordering koffee and with Lily and Beck squealing delight, the Nations own Tardette walked in the door with her and Rainmans new Sharklet, Raindrop (real name Lauren)! There were Sharklet's everywhere! Is this a great country or what?
As the Minions began to exit, Zickman came back in to report that the Great Moultini's Kestrels rear wheel just blew as he walked by to get to his bike. Subsequent investigation by the Sharkman revealed the second flat tire of the day (and since flat tires come in three's, he revealed he was wondering about when the third flat would arrive!)
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| Sharkman and Lily! |
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| Sharkman and Beckett |
Later, at the Shark Cove, Sharkman reported that it was much easier to change a flat tire in the Shark Cove Bike Shop, with air-conditioning and not having 20 other Minions watching him do it!
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| Rainman and daughter, Raindrop! |
This week the Minions will return to their beloved KK-TdG field of dreams! However, there may need to be a detour as the section of road between the Digital Divide and the GGG Spot may be closed for resurfacing! You will have to ride on Saturday to find out! Oh, the suspense!
This Saturday, yet another Celebrity Rider! Yes, the Sharkman's other son in law, Mike, aka MK, will be in attendance and Sharkman will be leading a B group! Yes, this is your chance to come on out and ride in the B group with our intrepid hero, the Sharkman hizzelf!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Launch time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be there!
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!
Belo News
July 11, 2012
The Pirate
Battle Creek, Mi. - Sharkman was absent this week for the Tuesday Night Ride, but our own Pirate sent the attached report:
"The ride went well. Bit of a head wind on the way out. Felt like we were cheated without our beloved HERO.
The usual showed, Airman, Stingray, Hoosier Boy, All Black, Rainman and one other???
When I peeled of at 46 street my computer had me at 20.8 avg.
I suspect the peloton went over 21 with a blistering downhill run to the headquarter."
Oh, the humanity! Thanks Pirate for the detailed report! Whoever the other rider was should contact Belo News to set the record straight, unless it was Dutch, the most handsome guy in the peloton, as he doesn't want anymore abuse!
MYSTERY SOLVED!
IT WAS ALL BLACK!
Belo News
July 12, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - Late breaking news! Right after the Belo News was put to bed, Rainman checked in with the following report!
MYSTERY SOLVED!
IT WAS ALL BLACK!
Belo News
July 12, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - Late breaking news! Right after the Belo News was put to bed, Rainman checked in with the following report!
"All Black, Stingray, Airman, the Pirate, Hoosier Boy, and Rainman launched a few minutes prior to 6pm SHARP to commence yet another edition of the Tuesday evening suffer-fest. Chedderhead joined just before the turn onto River Rd. bringing the total number to seven. The lineup was deep and strong and had a good chance of challenging the land-speed record of 21.5* mph average. In the end with five Minions crossing the line mostly together, the final average was very respectable 21.1mph. Apparently the Minions can't break the record without their fearless leader?!"
Next Tuesday, 6:00 p.m. - SHARP from Kellogg HQ upper parking ramp!
Be there!
THE WOODEN BIKE IS ALMOST HERE!
Belo News
July 12, 2012
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| Zickman's wooden bike! Oh the humanity! |
Richland, Mi. - Rumors of a wooden bike in the peloton have been circulating for months in Minion ranks and Belo News simply decided to launch a full investigation to bring the rumors to rest. Belo News as has now confirmed that our own Zickman does in fact, have a Renovo Wooden Bike on order! Actually, it has been on order for some time and he is getting concerned if it will ever show up! An in-depth Belo News investigation has able to uncover the attached photo of the stead that is now being built for Zickman, the class act of the peloton! Yep, a wood bike! Who knew you could buy a wooden bike? But the real question is whether it will ever be delivered! Zickman has agreed to give Belo News the exclusive story as it unfolds! Stay tuned to future editions for the whole story! Oh, the humanity!
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