JAIME SINGS FOR THE MINIONS!

IRONMAN TAKES THE TAPE!

ZICKMAN WINS ALL THE STYLE POINTS!

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News
August 27, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – As another fantastic dawn broke over the Shark Cove; the Sharkman was surprised at how dark it was in the Shark Cove bedroom as he shook the sleep from his blood shot eyes and pushed back the shark bedspread. Apparently fall is approaching and with it, the retreat of those long daylight hours. Oh, the humanity…….None the less, our intrepid hero padded out to start the Shark Coffee Maker and began his preparation for the ride.

Many Minions have asked what fuels our hero’s epic ability to ride long and fast and be a full time super hero like he is. Is there a secret source to his deeds of wonder you ask? Though the Sharkman tends to keep his training secrets,….. well secret, he was willing to share his pre-race breakfast with us here at Belo News.

The Sharkman starts his pre-race preparation with one strawberry frosted Pop Tart (un-toasted…being the tough shark that he is, our hero eats his Pop Tarts raw.) followed by three prunes and then washes it all down with a cup or two of his special shark blend coffee after grinding the beans and using his beloved Bunn Shark Coffee Maker.

Eating only one Pop Tart demonstrates his Zen like discipline to his nutritional regiment!

MMMMmmmm…. makes the editors of the Belo News mouths water just thinking about it! But we digress…..

Fired up on Pop Tarts and prunes, the old Shark was greeted by none other than Nikeboy as he launched from the Cove. It had been a while since Nikeboy had been on the ride and they had a lot of catching up to do on the ride over.

Once again, a large turn out was waiting at the start, with two new riders, Rod and DeAnn Auton (nick names to be determined) jumped on. They had heard about the ride through Cheddarhead and wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Rod and DeAnn, glad to have you aboard!

Another rider who claimed to have ridden before but the Sharkman could not remember, was dubbed Elwood because of his strong resemblance to the famous Blues Brother. After getting the name he promptly stated, “I’m on a mission from God!”

Welcome back to the Nation Elwood! Also joining on was a new rider on a Redline Cyclo Cross bike herein known as Redline Guy. It must have been a cyclo cross day as Brewman, who has been gone the past few weeks, came in on a fine looking Cannondale cyclo cross bike.

But no on could out do the sartorial splendor of the Zickman! Who can forget the fashion statement he made with the white World Champion kit a few weeks back. This week, he was the first on his block to be sporting the Catlike Whisper Plus Helmet! For those who are not IN the know, this helmet has been coveted here in the U.S. as one of the lightest, coolest lids you can buy, but you can only buy in Europe.

Until now!



Europe, schmurope! Zickman waits for no one! He ordered his on line in Euro's and now is the first in the peloton to own one of these beauties! (see photo) Heck, most Minions don't even know what a Euro is!?!

Now Belo News wants to see him wear the Catwhisper with his World Champion kit!

Oh, a Minion living the code!

All together now Minions, “If you can’t be good, look good!” Well our Zickman is both!

One minute before the Shark clock stroked 8:00 A.M. Wolf King pulled into the parking lot. Fortunately for him, Danimal had come in late and the peloton was willing to wait for him, but not for Wolf King. This gave the Wolf a couple extra minutes and additionally, Bling Girl had a flat on the way in to the ride and she and Stryker Guy were working on it just up the road. So the peloton was delayed a few minutes.

With the Skipper gone for the week, the Pirate took over and led the 24 riders out at the start and past the Klutch where the usual crowd was waiting to wave on their hero’s. This all gave time for Wolf King, Bling Girl, Stryker Guy and Sharkman, who had gone back for them, time to catch back on to the peloton.

As the mighty Minion Nation moved north, Gazelle Girl joined on with her Media Representative, Ironman at her side. The now 26 riders moved along with B-Rod leading our hero out for the honorary Sharkman first sprint. The count at the G ave. crossing was a confirmed 26 riders including the B group led by Cheddarhead.

As the group moved on to the col de Twin Lakes, the peloton splintered on the climb only to come back together at the next stop sign.

After the Yorkville Church turn, Chico came to the front and put on a huge pull to the Rt. 43 stop sign. As the riders circled Gull Lake, there were many runners and bikers who were partaking of a club run/bike around the lake. The Minions commented at the post race activity that it was great to see so many people out and about on the roads around Gull Lake. Is this a great country or what? It was just another fantastic day on the roads the Minion Nation knows as the KK-TdG field of dreams!

As the Minions ascended the col de Norte, there was a water/rest stop for the runners. Wolf King attempted to avail himself with whatever they had to offer. However, they did not have any Pop Tarts or Doritos so he just asked for water…..

As the riders sprinted to the inlet stop ahead, B-Rod, who was leading at the finish, suffered a flat tire to his front wheel. In unison, the Minions pulled over to wait as B-Rod did his Indy 500 pit routine and promptly fixed the flat and was ready to go in quick order.

The pace again picked up south of the Digital Divide with Sharkman starting the peloton and Redline Guy taking over to lead out the train. As the Nation bore down on the GGG sprint, Sharkman made a move from the back only to have it covered by Ironman and Zickman, who was still looking good in that Cat Whisper Plus Helmet!

Once again, worried that the large sprint finish might be dangerous, Sharkman took off with Redline Guy right behind him. When he pulled off and looked back, it was just the two of them and he told Redline Guy to keep going. Before long, the gap was closed and the Clydesdale of finishers, the Hossman, pulled through to take the pull to yet another level!

After a humongous pull, the Pirate, Redline and Sharkman again found themselves at the front and it was Sharkman that pulled to the top of the final hill before losing whatever gas he had left in his tank…..(where is a Tow Truck when you need it).

Alas, there was no gap behind our hero and the rambling herd was stampeding to the finish that lay ahead!

As the horde of rabid riders, hungry for the win, bore down on the finish line like Wolf King on a bag of Doritos, the Sharkman could only watch as the riders began to line up.

There were some riders who did not hold their lines (the Commissioner of Miniondom wants to again remind riders how important it is that if you are boxed in at the finish you cannot try to move out across riders behind you.) but the group held together as Ironman out sprinted Wolf King with B-Rod grabbing the final spot on the podium.

From Wolf Kings iPhone App;

Your Performance on the trip started on: Aug 27, 2011 8:03 AM



Trip time: 01:25:55
Trip distance: 46.4 km
Trip calories: 1421 kcal
Average speed: 32.5 km/h
Maximum speed: 104.7 km/h
Climbed altitude: 531 m


The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and the Klutch was ROCKING as our hero’s entered the hallowed halls of Koffeedom.

It may have been close to a record number of Minions who stopped for their fix of Koffee and in appreciation, the Minions were serenaded by none other than the Barista herself, the famous Jaime!

As you can see by the photo, she entertained the Nation with one of the songs from her upcoming role at the Kalamazoo Civic Theater and she got a rousing round of applause as she belted out the tune! Sharkman was heard to say, “Where else can you get entertainment like this? Eh?” This is a great country!

What will happen this week? Come to ride and find out! There are only a few weeks left of the 2011 season! (Can that be so? Oh, yes, Bunkie!)

It is Labor Day weekend and what do people do on Labor Day? Rest from their labors! And how do Minions rest from their labors? By having a cold adult beverage, that’s how!

As American’s, we like beer on holiday weekends! So this Saturday has been designated as “Beer Jersey Day!” Wear your favorite Beer Jersey for the holiday!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

We are changing a long time Minion Motto! As we all know, the famous Minion motto’s is that “we will leave no Minion behind!”

But from now on, it is “we leave no Minion behind unless they are late for the start!”

Be there! On time!





INSIDE TRAINING INFORMATION REVEALED!

Belo News
August 27, 2011

Richland, Mi. – In a special Belo News investigative report, our reports have learned that the famous Tow Truck, who has had his season shortened by shoulder surgery, was rumored to have purchased an indoor trainer with watt measuring capability. Subsequent investigative efforts by one or our undercover reporters has confirmed this information to be true and everyone can live in fear that the always strong Tow Truck is now getting even stronger during his recovery.

To which Belo News can only say, “Oh, the humanity!”


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

Average Speed Record Shattered!

Belo News
August 30, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – On a cool and calm night, the Tuesday night Minion Chain Gang took their average speed to new heights! Rainman, Airman, Wrong Way, All Black, the Pirate and Sharkman launched from the Kellogg HQ Visitor lot promptly at 6:00 p.m. The pace line was met by the Skipper on River Road as the rambling train approached Augusta. Reaching speeds of 27 mph in the pace line, the Minions brought it home with a new season record of 21.7 mph! It was a team victory for America!

If you like pace line work at high speeds this is the ride for you! Tuesday nights at 6 p.m. from the Kellogg HQ Headquarters! Strap yourself in for one heck of a ride, Bunkie!

SPEAKING OF POP TARTS……

Belo News
August 30, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – We are all aware of the Sharkman’s passion for his beloved Pop Tarts, but little did we know it was one of the top three things that is purchased in cases of emergencies. Obviously, in addition to its nutritional value, Pop Tarts offer comfort in times of stress. Everyone needs to believe in something, so the Editors of Belo News believe they’ll have another Pop Tart!




Viva Pop Tarts!

http://abcnews.go.com/US/hurricanes/hurricane-irene-pop-tarts-top-list-hurricane-purchases/story?id=14393602

Bissell Pro Rider and Battle Creek's own Chris Baldwin Shines at Inaugural USA Pro Challenge

Bissell rider puts knowledge of home roads to good use

The inaugural USA Pro Cycling Challenge provided the US-based Continental teams a unique opportunity to test themselves against eight ProTour squads, highlighted by the presence of the 2011 Tour de France podium of Cadel Evans (BMC) plus Andy and Fränk Schleck (Leopard Trek). Chris Baldwin (Bissell) finished 14th overall, 2:38 down on winner Levi Leipheimer (RadioShack) and just 21 seconds behind Fränk Schleck, as the highest-placed rider of the US Continental team contingent.

The 35-year-old Boulder, Colorado resident spoke to Cyclingnewsmoments after crossing the finish line of the final stage in Denver and was effusive in his praise of the event.

"It exceeded any expectations that I could have had for my home state race, and I'm just ecstatic that it happened. I just want to thank the whole state for coming out."

The race was a huge priority for Baldwin, who for the first time in his career could compete in a world-class stage race in his home state.

"You have an extra gear on the bike," said Baldwin, about the additional motivation and energy from racing at home. "I rode the best I have in years this week. I think it's just due to coming out of my skin every day for being on roads I know. Having the Schleck brothers, Cadel Evans and Levi [Leipheimer] racing on my training routes, I feel very lucky."

Baldwin's goal was a top-15 finish, and during the interview it wasn't yet known that his 16th place on GC entering the final stage would be upped to 14th overall. Two riders ahead of him were gapped out in the endgame of stage 6 and dropped below Baldwin on GC.

Baldwin, a two-time national time trial champion and an experienced domestic professional, was slated to race the 2011 season for the V Australia Continental team, but that fell through as the team made room for several riders absorbed from the failed Pegausus Sport ProTeam. Baldwin began the season as an amateur, but was able to return to the professional ranks when he was signed by Bissell in April.

In addition to Baldwin's 14th place GC finish, Bissell's Frank Pipp finished fifth on the final stage while Jay Thomson was on the attack for nearly the entire duration of stage 1 from Salida to Crested Butte.

 BB

A VERY “TACKLESS” RIDE!

BIG TEN CONFERENCE RULES!

WOLF KING RIEGNS!

INJURY UPDATE AND MORE SAFETY INFORMATION!


Belo News
August 20, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – On one of the most beautiful mornings of the season, our intrepid hero headed out to Galesburg, excited about College Game Day! The cool air, after a pretty warm summer, invigorated our hero as he launched from the Cove. Sharkman reported seeing four bucks on the way to the start, possibly indicating an early Fall?

Riders slowly trickled into the start for the ride. It was College Game Day and the Big 10 Conference was well represented with one jersey from Wisconsin (Sharkman), MSU (Skipper), Purdue (Ironman), Ohio State (Stryker Guy and with Ohio State on suspension they may not get “officially” recorded) and later, Illinois when the Wolf King jumped on.

What, no University of Michigan? No, the Wolverines were shut out at College Game Day for the first time. Though no one school took the title, the Big 10 seemed to take the crown.

Don’t worry Shark Minions; there will be another College Game Day later this fall.

Skipper led the Nation out of the parking lot and past the Klutch where the morning group all waved at their hero’s as they rode by.

No Gazelle Girl this week, or should we say, “Party Girl” who was sleeping in because she was hosting, yes you guessed it, a party and needed to get the Gazelle Estate ready. We need to get the Mighty Minion Nation on Party Girls invitation list! This lady knows how to PARTY!

Flash Gordon and Squeaky were quick to take the pace out and fought it out for the Sharkman Honorary Sprint with the Sharkman taking it easy at the back of the peloton.

Riders jumped on and the count hit a high of 17 in the early part of the ride. A number of riders were already getting involved in kids’ sports and some where up in Grand Rapids for the National Crit Championships.

As the riders reached the top of the col de Twin Lakes, Skipper had a mechanical and Sharkman and All Black went back to look for him. When they got back to the Rt. 89 crossing, the Mighty Nation had left their leader behind so the three lost Minions took the cut off and got ahead of the Nation at the Country Club. Unbeknownst to our intrepid hero, somewhere along the path a large number of riders had joined on and as the Sharkman, All Black and Skipper waited at the top of the short hill up to Rt. 43 the peloton looked huge.

At the top of the col de Norte, the Nation circled up (see safety information below) as they waited for a Minion to climb the hill. When the rider got to the top of the hill, the Sharkman did not know who the rider was and it was only then did he realize the additional 7-8 riders were on board.

A spirited pace took control of the peloton as they approached the Bible Conference Hills. The previous “tack” incident was fresh in everyone’s memory and questions about whether there would be any tacks to greet them abounded. We are pleased to report no tacks on the road!

As the Nation stopped at Frona’s to regroup, the extra riders thanked the Minions and dropped off the ride.

As the Nation moved south to the GGG crossing, the pace line organized and the speed picked up considerably. Sharkman made a run from the back of the peloton for the GGG sprint, but Ironman nipped him at the line.

After the GGG crossing, Sharkman went to the front, again missing both Hossman and the Tow Truck to spread out the peloton. Soon, Squeaky came forward and then Toast made a very strong pull to try to string out the field.

As the peloton crested the final hill, Wolf King latched on to Squeaky’s wheel, as a cast of thousands followed in wait of the final sprint.

That is when Flash Gordon made his move to the front and picking up a bunch of speed from the back, he began to pick off riders like a cherry picker run crazy!

Wolf King was forced to make a move a bit earlier than he likes, with Ironman right behind him. As Flash Gordon and Wolf King drilled to the finish, Wolf King was able to hold of the surging peloton to take the tape by a fraction over Flash and Ironman.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero’s approached the Klutch for their morning brew.

From Wolf King’s iPhone app;

Your Performance on the trip started on: Aug 20, 2011 8:13 AM

Trip time: 01:09:02

Trip distance: 36.6 km
Trip calories: 1003 kcal
Average speed: 31.9 km/h
Maximum speed: 182.5 km/h
Climbed altitude: 93 m

Only problem is Wolf King does everything in meters! He also needs to turn the thing off in the car. 182.5 km/h max speed? We don’t think so!

INJURY UPDATE!

After the festivities, the Old Shark mounted up to head back to the cove and Wolf King joined on to get a few extra miles in. As they headed out of town, a white Chevy pulled along side and it was none other than Hawkeye! He had wanted to make it for Koffee but had been held up on an errand but Sharkman reported that he was looking good and though he said he was tired, he was fighting the good fight. Hawkeye reports that he has finished with the major treatment but now has to give himself a shot three times a week that does tire him out. But again, he was looking good and wanted to thank all the Minions for their thoughts and prayers!

On another injury note, our own Tow Truck took a header out at Fort Custer, injuring his rotor cuff and had to have surgery on his shoulder. Unfortunately he will be out for the remainder of the season!

Who is going to tow the Mighty Minion Nation to the finish every week?!

Our well wishes go out to the Tow Truck of the peloton! Get well soon and get back in the Nation!

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, August 27, 2011 – Launch Time – 8:00 A. M. – SHARP!

TEAM BISSELL RULES AT NATIONAL CRIT CHAMPIONSHIPS!

Belo News
August 20, 2011

Grand Rapids, Mi. – Bissell Boy, checking in from the National Crit Championships in Grand Rapids reported that Bissell Team rookie, Eric Young, won Stars and Stripes Jersey! Young is a recent IU grad and is the defending Little 500 Champion! Congratulations Eric Young and on College Game Day to boot! Is this a great country or what?


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

Belo News
August 23, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – The Mighty Minion Nation was able to get the Tuesday night ride in between rain storms and in so doing, shattered the season speed record with a 20.9 mph average. Airman, Stingray, Wrong Way, Rainman, Hoosier Boy and our intrepid hero, the Sharkman headed out from the Kellogg HQ Visitor Lot with an east tail wind. Half way through the ride, Danny jumped on as Hoosier Boy, who had positioned his bike at the Galesburg/Augusta High School, jumped off. By the time the group headed back east, the wind had tied down a bit and the fast moving train was able to keep the pace up through the remainder of the ride.

If you’re looking for a great work out and some pace line experience, this is the ride for you! Launch time 6:00 p.m. Tuesday Nights from the Kellogg Visitor Lot!

Editors Note – Bissell Boys write up on safety a couple of weeks ago brought a number of great comments about the importance of safety in the peloton.

As a follow up, Gazelle Girl shared the attached from the Kalamazoo Bike Club Newsletter.

BTW – Sharkman is a member of KBC, as are many Minions, and completely endorses membership. The KBC is your voice on biking in the area and the $15 a year dues is a minor cost compared to all that the KBC does for the bike community!

[KBC-general] Reporting Road Rage and Accidents


On August 10, 2011, the Kalamazoo County Road Commission hosted a presentation on Traffic Laws by Sgt. James Campbell, an expert in Traffic Crash Reconstruction with the Michigan State Police. I followed up with Sgt. Campbell. His well thought-out answers to my questions may be important to some of you, so I am releasing them immediately. You never know whether his information might come in handy sooner, rather than later.

Q: What should a bicyclist do, if a motorist causes a bicyclist to be injured by their actions, such as in an accident, or through an act we might call "road rage?"

A: If there is an actual crash and some one is injured there needs to be a report per MVC 257.617 (stop and ID and report). If there is no contact but the vehicle causes a crash with injury the same applies and the vehicle is still required to report. This vehicle would be listed as a "non-contact" unit on the report.

Q: What if no actual injury occurs, but a bicyclist believes the motorist engaged in a deliberate act that otherwise could have hurt someone?

A: If the vehicle violates a traffic law that is not seen by a police officer - in your case it most likely would have to be "careless" 257.626b (likely to endanger person or property). The citation would have to be written with a "witness" as the complainant and that person would have to come to court and testify.

Q: In the case of such careless driving (or "road rage"), what would be required in order to make a complaint with some hope of justice? Does it help if more than just one rider saw what happened?

A: A careless ticket is written to a driver (not owner) so there would need to be some ability to identify the suspected driver.The citation would require - time / date / location / vehicle information (plate, color, make and model) and a way to identify the driver. Witnesses always help because in court it will be you vs. them.

Q: When should a report be filed?

A: The complaint should be made ASAP so that if the vehicle can be located if possible.This information is for general educational purposes only and is not intended to replace the counsel of an attorney or any other professional whose service may be required in the situations discussed above.

Thanks to Sgt. Campbell for the time and thought he put into helping our membership.

Paul Selden

Director of Road Safety, KBC

And the following was sent in from Bissell Boy.

Tacks, glass found along Colorado bike race routes

By STEVEN K. PAULSON - Associated Press AP – Wed, Aug 17, 2011

DENVER (AP) — Colorado authorities are warning cyclists that tacks, box cutters and broken glass have been found strewn along popular bike routes that are part of course plans for major races next week — including the inaugural USA Pro Cycling Challenge.

The objects are being purposely placed on trails and roads, Jefferson County sheriff's spokeswoman Jacki Kelley said Tuesday.

"We've had five or six incidents where things were put along popular bicycle roads," Kelley said. She said the incidents have caused several flat tires but no injuries.

The 100-mile Deer Creek Challenge, which takes place in a canyon south of Denver that is one of the most widely-used riding routes in the area, is scheduled for Sunday.

And a day later, elite cyclists from around the world will begin competing in the weeklong, 510-mile Pro Cycling Challenge, which culminates in a final stage that takes riders from Golden's Lookout Mountain in Jefferson County into downtown Denver.

Crews will be sweeping the roads before the races, Kelley said.

She said authorities found broken glass that "appears to have been purposely placed on the shoulder" of Lookout Mountain Road — a scenic, winding site that figures to be one of the more challenging climbs of the professional race.

Kelley said there has been a history of tension between motorists and bicyclists, especially in Deer Creek, where box cutters were found. She said a meeting was held last year between riders and the homeowners association in an effort to negotiate a truce.

Dan Grunig, the executive director of Bicycle Colorado, said bikes sometimes outnumber cars on the shoulderless roadway in the area, causing congestion.

A WORD FROM THE SHARKMAN HIS SELF!

There has been a lot of discussion about safety on the rides and I want to emphasis how important it is for each of us as riders, to make sure we are not causing the dangers that we worry about. I have noticed that we have gotten just a bit careless at some of the intersections and especially at the top of the col de Norte as we wait for riders. Circling in the road in front of cars; riding in the wrong direction on the road; crossing the yellow lines, etc. are all things that are not only dangerous for us, but also cause major issues with drivers.

We need to make sure we stick to the side of the road and have no more than two abreast unless we are passing and the road is clear.

More importantly, if we have a driver who does get upset and cuts riders off or shouts at the peloton, Minions should take the high road and ignore them completely or even apologize for their errant behavior even if they are in the right.

Flipping a driver off or yelling back at them is completely counter productive and only makes the situation worse.

We want goodwill around the KK-TdG field of dreams and it is important for all Minions to be safe, courteous and every vigilant!

Remember - "in conflict, be fair and generous!" - Lao Tzu

Be safe out there Bunkie!

Nough said!

RAIN ON SHARKMANS RETURN?!

WOLF KING GOES EARLY AND LOSES CROWN!

COLLEGE GAME DAY JERSEYS THIS SATURDAY!


Belo News
August 13, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – After three weeks of being off the KK-TdG circuit, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was pretty darned excited about getting back to his beloved Minion Nation to ride!

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, the threat of rain beckoned and our hero went straight to the green glow of the Shark Radar. Large, ominus, multi colored layers of activity laid to the west, but the Sharkman was sure they would roll north of the field of dreams and the ride would go on!

Lava Girl, however, in her more mature wisdom, cautioned our hero that it was going to be wet and that he should drive to the start. Drive to the start? Not our hero, the Sharkman!

Sharkman felt good to be back on the bike after the long hiatus and the air was cool and dry on the way to the start.

As our hero descended down the hill from I-94 at the Eaton Plant and headed into downtown Galesburg, he looked west at a very dark and threatening sky. Even then, our hero refused to believe it would rain on his parade! After all, he is, the Sharkman!

Sharkman was pleased to see the many hearty Minion souls that began to amass at the start. Returning rider Jenn, herein known as Bad Girl Jenn (no really, she named herself that!) and KHS Guy, where also optimistic that the rains would hold off.

The Gull Lake contingent, headed up by the Skipper himself, came in a number of riders lighter than usual. Actually, it was just him and Bob the Builder.

Squeaky arrived with his now famous “puffy jacket” and after getting some ribbing from Sharkman, proceeded to take it off and with great haste, and stuff it in one of his jersey pockets.

Wolf King arrived late (as usual) but the Skipper was having none of it as he ordered the peloton to saddle up and head out as rumbles of thunder could be heard over the echo of pedals clicking in. Boatman and Falcon arrived just in time for the start and the Minions were off and running.

As the Nation headed north out of town, a shout of “mechanical” from the back of the peloton echoed out and everyone saw All Black pull over on his orange Attala with a rear flat tire. Hearing the thunder and being close to the Klutch, All Black decided to go back there and call his wife to come and pick him up, which ended up being a very smart move.

Gazelle Girl and Ironman jumped on and Sharkman did not make a move towards the early, honorary sprint! Had he been serious about not wanting it? It appears so…..

As the Minions crossed G Ave., the thunder could be heard and as the speed picked up and the riders began the climb at the col de Twin Lakes, both thunder and lightening began to show its ugly presence. As the train stopped at Rt. 89, a major bolt of lightening crossed the sky and Falcon stated he’s was heading back. Some of the riders lived north of 89 so it was decided the peloton would go to the Yorkville Church and then take the normal finish home.

That is when the sky opened up and the rain began to fall in earnest.

KHS Guy went to the front and did a major pull as the Minions headed to the GGG Spot crossing.

After the G Ave crossing, Hossman did his usual humongous pull at the front as the Mighty Minion Nation bore down on the final sprint.

With the rain pouring down around them, Sharkman went to the front at the base of the hill before the finish, to spell Hossman. With rain and lightening crashing around the Mighty Minion Nation as if to spur them on, Sharkman got the speed up to around 26 mph when Squeaky made his move, taking Wolf King and a number of riders with him.

As Squeaky began to fade, Wolf King, who was right on his wheel, was forced to go a bit sooner than he normally does. As he torques his steed to pick up speed, Ironman, B-Rod and others were in hot pursuit. As the rain continued to pound the riders, Ironman and B-Rod went around Wolf King and took the tape in that order.

Sharkman shouted for everyone to go straight to the Klutch, which he later learned upset the tofosi and paparazzi on the Champs le Galesburg who were waiting in the rain.

It was a small crew of hearty souls that went into the Klutch, where Jamie awaited with hot bottomless kups of dark roast for the very wet peloton with most of the Nation heading right back to their cars.

The locals were still there and asked about the sudden return. Sharkman told them that the Mighty Minion Nation will ride in the rain, but not in lightening.

Lava Girl, worried about her Sharkman, called to offer a ride home, but by the time the Koffee was gone, so was the rain and lightening. As a matter of fact, Sharkman reported that when he got up to the Eaton Plant, the roads were completely dry and he did not have any wet roads until he got back to the Cove! It seemed it had only rained north of I-94!

Lightening, rain, wet Minions? What will happen next?

You won’t want to miss next week’s edition of the KK-TdG! Summer is almost over and you know what that means!

Next week, College Game Day!

That’s right, with the College Football Season just a few weeks away, get out your school colors to ride!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP, WOLF KING!

By the way, the start time was called into question by one rider this week and the Sharkman wants all to know that his watch is synchronized with the Atomic Clock in Boulder, Colorado and is the official time of both the U.S. Government and the Shark Cove, and as such, cannot be called into question.

Another point of clarification, the peloton actually launched one minute late, trying to allow the late riders some time despite the fact they were facing an impending rain of Armageddon proportions!

So, when in doubt, GET TO THE START EARLY, Bunkie!

Tacky Ride :-/

Chico Rules

Shermanator Results


Safe Riding

Belo News
August 6, 2011

Galesburg, Mi- What a difference a week makes, or maybe two, without our fearless leader. With Skipper in the north woods chasing the dimple rock, 13 unsteady riders rolled out from the start and continued through the neutral zone, past the adoring fans at the Klutch and up 36th and where we were delighted to see Gazelle Girl.  Soon we were to 15 as Boatman joined the work toward the first sprint points and  Falcon performed a tremendous lead out for the Sharkman who was awarded the honorary sprint in absentia.

The grupetto climbed Cold deTwin Lakes where we added Cheetah to our numbers and off we went to the  west side of Gull Lake and thrust directly into the Pain Cave where Chico drove the train all the way to a victorious sprint at the M-43 climb reaching speeds of 28mph in the final stretch.

All was well as we made our way up Col de Norte and toward the Bible Conference, but this is where things got "tacky".  It appears that someone left a box of tacks on the road for the minions to pick up and that we did. By the time the group reached Frona's it was discovered 6 bikes had picked up 7 tacks and 6 tires need to be changed.  Not good, hopefully we will not repeat this on Saturday.  As the pit stop took a bit longer than expected the group started to shrink as we moved toward the bay.

In order to avoid the Shermanator bike leg the remaining riders turned right on DE Ave where the group broke into 2 groups as Chico, Falcoln and Thor lead out the break and motored down 35th to 36th to the Klutch where the group had dwindled to 10 as Gazelle Girl peeled off on HJ to prepare for yet another party and mentioned something about a cat on a hot tin roof.  The editor has decided to leave the rest of the story to the imagination.

Shermanator Results
The only information the Belo News desk received was that there were 390 participants and that Stryker Guy and his daughter Carrie (Skater Girl?) competed in the 5k run.  Please let us know how others faired in this growing event and good luck to Thor this weekend who will be competing in the Steelhead Half Ironman in Saint Joe.

Safe Riding
As our numbers continue to grow we wanted to pass along a write up we received on safe riding.  Please review this as we have had and would like to continue our safe riding.

I hope it’s not presumptuous of me to run through a few things that we already know, in the spirit of keeping this stuff front and center and keeping safety as our primary goal.  (Even Tiger Woods has a swing coach (if not a caddy)):

·         among experienced riders, mistakes happen when riders lose attention, and riders     lose attention when they’re pressed and/or tired. 

·         avoid getting tired by riding within yourself. 

o   don’t take a pull if your conditioning is below the group average, and if you find yourself in front, rotate off quickly.  don’t leave yourself in any kind of deficit getting back on the last wheel.  Let the strongest guys do the lion’s share and don’t even think twice about it – that’s how we balance out the workout.

o   hydrate constantly and bring a little food.

o   spin it up the hills in a low gear and climb within yourself.  If we lose anyone, we’ll regroup within a mile of every major climb.  Do not bury the needle indefinitely to keep pace only to burn yourself out for the balance of the ride.

o   If you need a break, tell us that.  We probably all could use one.  5 minutes can give a big boost, especially in the heat.

·         Let’s avoid pressing and accordion play with good leadership and transition at the front of the line:

o   Don’t surge when your turn comes up.  Concentrate on keeping your cadence at the exact pace you were riding before the leader pulled off.  If a pace change is appropriate, for instance if the grade starts to slope down, make the change gradually. 

o   Stay fresh up front and get off the front well before you’re gassed.  If you’re a strongman, don’t ramp up the pace to more than 22 or 23 on the flats – use your strength for the team to take a longer pull rather than burn everyone up keeping your pace.

o   Never stop pedaling at the front.  If it’s a downhill, keep pedaling and don’t stop unless you completely spin out, and then tuck for speed.

o   When leading up a climb, set a steady pace that is good for the group, don’t just climb at your own strongest pace.  That means you need to consider the needs of the least among us in terms of conditioning.  On longer climbs, try to keep the group together at least until the last portion – for instance, keep the group together until the foot of the last big part of Bailey hill.  There will be separation in the steep parts especially if they occur at the end of a climb (e.g., Michigan hill, Egypt Valley going south at Knapp), don’t worry about that, we’ll regroup.

o   When you’re ready to finish your turn, make a signal (flash the elbow, tap your butt, etc) and CHECK traffic before pulling out.  Do not drop your pace even a little bit until you have left the front, but don’t leave the front until you know that no traffic is approaching from behind.

o   Once you’re out in traffic, stop pedaling or feather pedal until you’re almost to the back – get to the back quickly and then get on the wheel so that no one sits out in traffic for any longer than necessary.  The last guy should call out that he’s the last wheel.

·         Finally, let’s ride with good technique:

o   keep your hands on the hoods and ready to feather the brakes at all times when you are following a bike (exception: extended climbs when the hands might go to the top of the bar to open the lungs);

o   keep your front wheel a foot behind the rear wheel ahead of you – don’t cross over.

o   Keep your eyes up and watching the road ahead – don’t let yourself stare at the wheel ahead, even in climbs.

o   Obviously, be on the lookout for pavement issues from the front and point them out as you approach them.  Keep your elbows loose and your weight off your hands so that you can point quickly and without affecting your steering.

o   Don’t stop pedaling to drink or eat – commit to staying on the wheel ahead and keep your legs moving at all times.  Feather your brake for distance control as opposed to going back and forth between pedaling and coasting, or better yet, choose a bigger gear and moderate the pressure to keep pace.  Coasting throws variation into the line – good riders rarely coast in a paceline.

o   don’t stand in the paceline – try to do any standing/stretching at the back of the line.  If you need to stand to meet the pace of a climb, call it out first and then stand.  Don’t call it out at the moment you stand – that’s not a fore-warning.  Your bike will move back into the guy behind and you can cause a crash if you stand without fore-warning.

o   Let’s obey all traffic laws and represent the sport and all riders with class as we interface with drivers.

Hope to see you all this Saturday, 8:00am sharp 

WolfKing Roars

Hockey Boy, Stryker Guy and All Black  victorious at theWAM

 Successful WAM for Minions

Where is Sharkman?

Route Adjustment this Saturday

Belo News
July 30, 2011

Galesburg, Mi - With the Sharkman putting his teeth into Shark Week and a large contingent of Minions riding for a great cause at WAM no one knew what to expect this past Saturday.

As the Gull Lake contingent rolled into Galesburg on this last Saturday in July a huge grupetto was clicking in, starting off on what would be a fantastic ride.  (especially in WolfKing's mind as you will read later)  As the numbers were counted off and checked twice the final tally stood at 30.  How good is that?  Even without their fearless leader the Minions came out in near record attendance.

The peloton turned north in anticipation of "hooking up" with Gazelle Girl, but to the groups disappointment she was a no show and the pace quickly lifted as the group anticipated the Sharkman Honorary sprint.  In the end it was Squeaky who took the honors.

KOM

 As the Minions flew up the Col de Twin Lakes it was the first of what would be a hugely contested KOM competition.  At the end of the race it was awarded to Bissell Boy, not because he won, but because he brought back his shiny new souvenir from Paris.

In typical fashion the pace was lifted through the pain cave of the Country Club Hills and Bill the Mechanic, Danimal's new minion, provided a monster pull for the group, delivering a much deserved sprint to Tow Truck as the group started the climb to M-43.

Zickman showing his fine summer form, and no he wasn't in his Garmin lingerie, was strong in winning the Bay sprint.

And now for the rest of the story or his story, this guest writer turns it over to the one and only...
Richard “WolfKing” Wolf, BeloNews Guest Contributor and Self-Aggrandizing Blowhard

Well, I know Thor was there, Sean (Ironman tattoo guy), Lancaster, Mike Miller, Skipper, Jeff Goldenson, Hostettler (Big Hoss?), Bill Greer, Danimal, That other guy I always think is Dan (he bought a Garmin by the way), some dude in a MSU tri kit, some other tri guy, and about 15 other peeps.  From what I was able to ascertain, the peloton rolled out at 8:00 SHARP.  I, on the other hand was just coming up on the rail road tracks on 35^th street, or 1K from the start.  I was riding hard, but not on the button as I thought the gendarmes would hold the start, as usual.  But, I entered an empty lot.  Not even a publicity car to tow me back to the bunch!  I saw the group turning at the stop light by the Klutch as I started, so I figured I could catch on if I caught the a green light.  Luck was on my side as I raced through a clear intersection (and a legally green stop light!).  I caught the group just as they made the turn on 36^th street heading out of town.

After a long lonely ride, and feeling the effects of the previous nights festivities weighing heavily on my stomach, I wasted no time at the back, but rather made my way quickly into the safety zone at the head of the peloton.  Ah, the sweet, sweet draft of a group...

Anyway, the first notice of the ride I had, as the oxygen had finally started to return to my brain, was on the Col d’Twin Lakes.  I had intended to simply survive the climb.  But Ironman Tattoo Guy made a charge and inspired the group to follow.  I didn’t mind, as my HR was already maxed at the 175 mark; but, apparently one person too many said, “On your right!”  I frickin hate people passing me on the right!  So I charged through the group, chasing down as many hard starting climbers as I could, cresting the col in fifth place, or so, I glanced down to see 181 BPM starting back at me.  Nearer to cardiac arrest than I’d like to be, I managed to latch on to Greer’s wheel and limp to the re-group point at the intersection.

Maybe due to metabolizing the last remnants of the previous night libations, or the percent of oxygen being diverted from my brain to my legs, the best I can remember about the charge past the golf course and up the Col d’Norte is that it was fast, very fast.  I remember that.  I remember it fast, and that I was thinking I would feel much better if I could only vomit.  It was at this point I started thinking about selling my bike.  Trying to add up how much I’d earn from the sale of each bike, given “fire-sale” prices for all my bikes and all cycling related gear.  I figured I’d lose 75-85% of the retail of the bicycles.  The tools would probably be the same, maybe a little more.  But the clothes would only bring garages sale prices.  It was a pipe dream, I guess.  We all know I am too cheap to suffer that kind of financial loss.  I came to this realization about the time I was wheeling up to C Avenue and the group queuing up in front of Fronas.  I free wheeled through the intersection, sat up and started to eat a banana.

God, bananas are awesome!  Bananas are wrapped in a biodegradable container.  You can eat them easily on a ride.  It is almost not a bona fide ride if I eat a banana.  When I was younger, I used to put the stickers from the bananas on my bike’s forks.  It used to be fun, and hard.  I didn’t want to have identical stickers, so I would look for different growers when I bought bananas.  But then, about fifteen or twenty years ago, the growers started putting marketing slogans and different logos on their fruit.  Instead of taking a season to fill my forks, I could have done it in a week.  But I digress...

After I finished my banana, (man bananas are awesome!  See above.)  I noticed the group had yet to come up behind me.  I hate to say that I decided to try to solo back to the Klutch.  I did make that decision, sort of anyway.  It’s just that I realized almost immediately that I had not the legs for such an endeavor.  So, from just past Fronas I made the decision to try and make this break succeed.  Again, I hate to say that I put forth every effort to make it succeed.  Not because I wasn’t giving 100%, (On a side note, I hate when people say the give 110%, or 150% or 200%.  I know they mean that they “think” they work harder than others.  But what I think is, but you obviously don’t know the meaning of 100% effort.  Or, their idea of 100% effort is less than their ability.  As for me, when I tell you I gave 100% in a sprint, it means that there was absolutely nothing else left in the tank.  Not one more watt that I could have produced in order to propel myself that little bit faster.  Lastly, I’d like to point out to all you people who give ANYTHING over 100%, remember that today’s 100% plus is tomorrow’s 100%.  You have to be able to deliver that perceived effort over your 100%, every day!  Otherwise, you are NOT delivering your promise.  But I digress...) because I was, or  maybe 90 or 95%.  The problem wasn’t my effort level, the problem was the results that effort was achieving.  I knew, before I had gone 1K, that 29 KPH was not good enough to stay clear.  But, as bad as the decision was, once made, I pressed onward with the execution of that decision.

So I rode alone all the way to just prior to the G Ave sprint.  They group, now whole again, ventured across G and set up for the final sprint of the day.  First, somebody put a charge into the pace, then someone else.  Next thing I know, my fifth or sixth position in line, seemingly perfect, started to look like a really bad idea.  It was a blur, but it think it was Mike Miller’s wheel that I alternately couldn’t hang on and then would charge back onto. The invisible elastic band that was holding me tantalizingly close to the front was about to snap.  I felt it; I sensed it; I dreaded it; I waited for it; and I wanted it.  But, as much as I wanted to be dropped, I held on through sheer rage.  As much as I would have liked to soft pedal back to the Klutch, I hate losing more.

So I hung on.  Then I found myself with the front bunch as we crested the short rise at HJ Avenue.  As the pace quickened, I noted Thor moving forward.  As I longed to get into the fray, my gaze low due to my desperate desire to cheat the wind, I spotted a familiar little sign, an Ironman Tattoo.  () Having seen this logo disappear on many occasions, I knew it belonged to a guy who’s wheel was worth fighting to keep.  I fought myself more than anyone else, as I really wanted the pain to end.  But, keep his wheel I did!  As Thor made his drive to the line, Sean followed and then went around Thor’s left side.  As he did, I made my move and drove along the right side.  We passed a lone rider with about 50 meters to go, and as we did we were almost neck to neck to neck.  I am pretty sure I got the better of the two other men, but just barely.  I saw it as me, WolfKing, one, Thor two and Sean (Ironman Tattoo Guy?) three.  Unless I blinked at the wrong time, I think we crossed the line within a wheel length of each other.  As I alluded to earlier, I gave 100% on that sprint.  There was probably only 50 meters of road on which I could have maintained the lead at that speed.  As it worked out, one of them was the last meter.

The ride on le Avenue des Champs-Galesburg (as I think we should re-name the street) was greeted by a fanfare the likes of which are usually reserved for royalty, heads of state, Sharkman and national heroes.  The Koffee at the Kllutch was both hot and black.  But my chair was sticky and I smelled like sweat and ammonia.  Ah, to the victor the spoils truly go...

Okay my apologies but thanks for letting me indulge WolfKing who truely won the final sprint in fine fashion after some outstanding work off the front by Tow Truck and Hoss.

WAM

Team Taylor and their fearless leader Iceman raised $194,000 this past weekend for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.  Several minions including Stryker Guy, All Black, Hockey Boy (with a solid 150 mile base going into the ride) and Wildman contributed to this sum.  

Wildman reported " I had my own adventure this year.  35 miles into day one, I had a tire going flat, which I did not know about, and went into a 90-degree turn.  The tire rolled, and Wildman went down.  Ruined a jersey, got road rash on the knee, hip and shoulder, and broke my helmet when it hit the pavement.  No one else was around me, so that was good.

Anyway, I got up, changed the tube, and six miles later had another flat!  I thought of last year, and it occurred to me that, “maybe it’s my bad luck and not Sharkman’s!!!!?”  Maybe you should change my nickname to “Schleprock.”  The bike mechanic came along, found the rock in the tire, and I rode the rest of the ride incident free." 

And finally.....

Sharkman was not putting his teeth into anything, but cutting a rug with Lava Girl at a weekend wedding.  His Sharkness will be off again this week in Santa Fe to see the newest member of the Shark Family.  Safe travels Sharkman!

New Route Saturday - Shermanator

Due to the Shermanator Triathalon this Saturday we will alter our course slightly to avoid the race.

See you all 8:00AM sharp.