HOW COLD WAS IT, YOU ASK?

BARRY ROUBAIX UPDATE!

TUESDAY NIGHT “SOFT” OPENNER!

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

March 26, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – In the six or so years that the Mighty Minion Nation has been riding the field of dreams we have come to call the KK-Tour de Gull, the Sharkman has had only one fear. Yes, perhaps hard to believe, but there is one thing our intrepid hero does fear. Sharkman does have the fear of the “No Show” ride.

It would be like throwing a party, and no one showing up.

On Saturday, as our intrepid hero headed to the door, the lovely Lava Girl cried out, “don’t be surprised if no one else is there!” “Uh?” Sharkman said in reply…..

She went on, “it is Barry Roubaix Race Day and unless you had paid to ride, you’d have to be crazy to be out there in 22 degree temps!”

Undeterred, our hero stepped out into the sunshine and thought, “I’m sure we there will be Minions at the start!” As the Sharkmobile made its way to the start, the temperature gage on the dash registered 22, but moved to a balmy 23 when our hero approached the empty parking lot. It was 9:45 A.M. and no one was there. “I’m sure someone will show” our hero thought to himself as he pulled his faithful steed from the Vibe. After pumping his tires and starting to down his extra clothing, he started to think it might have happened…..no other Minions to ride! It was then that he saw Sooner pull into the lot in his Hyundai and then heard All Black approach on bike from the other direction!

Game on!

Three hale and hearty Minions would make up the Mighty Minion Nation this day, despite the 23 degree temperatures. With no Skipper to kick off the ride, and no press (it was even too cold for the paparazzi!), our hero’s headed towards town when Sharkman noticed that Sooner, in his hurry to put massive layers of cloths on his person, had forgotten to top off his sartorial splendor with his helmet.

All Black and Sharkman took the opportunity to go into the Klutch while Sooner headed (no pun intended) to his car to get his lid. Sooner mentioned that he thought the peloton would become four riders when Gazelle Girl jumped on, but the Sharkman informed everyone that she was up at Barry Roubaix like the rest of the cycling world. (It was later learned that Gazelle Girl was sick and was not able to race! It is hoped she will be back in the peloton soon!)

The three minions took solace in knowing that each of them was assured a podium finish on this cold, clear and windy day on the Field of Dreams!

The peloton forced Sharkman to the front to take the honorary first sprint as the wind came out of the north and began to pick up.

For the most part, the ride was pretty uneventful and each of the Minion riders took turns winning sprints as they came up in the pace line, which became one of the better pace lines of this young season.

As the Mighty Minion Nation headed south to the finish after the GGG crossing, each of them took a pull at the front of the cold, but quickly moving train. As the Nation began to lose sensation in their fingers and toes, All Black went to the front of the threesome at the ascent just before the finish. Meanwhile, Sooner stayed right on his wheel with Sharkman just behind.

Tension built as no one made a move and the finish line began to draw closer to the three. As the threesome bore down on the finish line, Sooner kept looking over his left should to see when Sharkman would make a move.

But Sharkman continued to sit in!

With about 100 yards to go, Sooner decided to make his move and the Sharkman stuck too his rear wheel like white on rice.

Sharkman then timed his finish perfectly as with only about 30 yards left, he pulled out from Sooners slip stream and went around him to nip him at the line by less than a half a wheel!

It was a victory for America!

The riders went to their water bottles in celebration only to learn they had frozen!

Average Speed 17.4 mph (not bad considering the riders were wearing 30 pounds of clothing!)

Unfortunately, there were no crowds on the Champs le Galesburg because it was just too darn cold out there! People peered through frost covered windows in their warm homes as our hero’s road into the Klutch.

When the Minions arrived at the Klutch, the lovely Luann was waiting with hot koffee and none other than the Wolf King was waiting and actually had bought a kup for our intrepid hero. Sharkman, aglow in his victory, bought Koffee for Sooner and All Black! Luann wouldn’t let the Minions pour the koffee on their feet to warm them, so they had to settle for letting their feet warm naturally (Sharkman stated his warmed up by around 6 p.m. later that day).

During the ensuing press conference, Sharkman was quoted as saying that, “on a cold day like this you’re either at Barry Roubaix or you’re here to ride with the Mighty Minion Nation or you’re a wimp!” It was an epic early spring ride!

And you won’t want to miss this week’s edition!

Since a half hour doesn’t seem to make much difference in temps and it has been light, the Cycling Commissioner has decided to go ahead and move the ride up to 9:30 A.M.

The weather is forecasted to be in the low 40’s and cloudy but if it is raining (or snowing) and the ride is cancelled we will post it here at the blog. If nothing is posted, assume the ride is a go!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Launch Time – 9:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be There!

BARRY-ROUBAIX UPDATE!

Belo News

Yankee Springs, Mi.

Ace Reporter – Iceman

March 26, 2011 Yankee Springs, Mi. - Congratulations to those hearty Minions and Team Taylor riders who braved the crisp but sunny morning of Saturday 3/26 to participate in the Barry Roubaix Killer Gravel Road Race. http://www.barry-roubaix.com/ . It was 19 degrees and bright sun when the waves rolled out at 10:00am...1,000 racers up in beautiful Yankee Springs. The Race started on rolling country roads and then got into the dirt roads, 35 miles, frozen water bottles and camelbacks, 2,200 feet of vertical climbing later, a three mile concrete run out to the finish line.... tough on the legs this early in the season, but it sure was nice to be outside enjoying Michigan. Beer, tacos, and a bonfire afterwards.

Minions at the Barry-Roubaix and we apologize if we missed anyone;

Falcon 13th 1:57:36 (35 mile)

Zickman 55th 2:15:29 (35 Mile)

Kid Doster 51st 2:11:21 (35 Mile)

Chumley 19th 1:39:22 (23 Mile)

MC Hammer (Cathy Bagi – Mrs. Chumley) 18th 2:09:37 (23 Mile)

Iceman 9th 1:57:11 (35 Mile)

Cleary 53rd (2:13:30) (35 Mile)

Conor 76th (4:10:46) (65 Mile) (Yes, you read that right! One Minion did the 65 miler and he did it on Sharkman’s Cyclocross bike! What a stud!)

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE BEGINS WITH “SOFT OPENNING!”

Belo News

Battle Creek, Mi.

March 29, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – In a last minute decision, our own Rainman began the Tuesday Night Minion Ride a bit early and went for a “soft opening” to the season. The ride started at 5:30 p.m. from Kellogg HQ upper parking lot with Rainman, Conor and Sharkman in attendance. Though a bit cold, the riders did a 29 mile route at a mellow 17.3 mph. average. This is the official start to the Tuesday night ride and all Minions are welcome. The rides will start at 5:30 p.m. until May, when they will move to the regular 6:00 p.m. start time.

Come out and join the Tuesday evening fun!

HOW BAD ARE MICHIGAN ROADS?

Belo News

Detroit, Mi.

March 29, 2011

Detroit, Mi. – So, have you noticed how bad our roads are this spring? Well get a load of the following story from the Detroit Free Press;

The Detroit Free Press reports that 1,400 Michigan bridges need fixing;

Spans rated 13th worst!

Detroit, Mi. - More than 13 percent of Michigan’s highway bridges are structurally deficient, a number that will only grow as thousands of spans statewide approach their 50-year life expectancy, transportation leaders warned March 28. With about 1,400 bridges labeled structurally deficient by federal standards, Michigan ranks 13th worst in the nation in the number of bridges in poor condition, according to a report released March 28 by Transportation for America, a transportation advocacy group. The national average is 11.5 percent. Michigan’s nearly 11,000 highway bridges are, on average, 41 years old. About 185,000 U.S. bridges are more than 50 years old, and that number could double by 2030. A label of “structurally deficient” does not mean a bridge is unsafe, but rather that shows wear and tear, and needs repair. The Michigan Department of Transportation director said March 28 that bridges in that category are inspected more frequently and would be closed immediately if they posed a risk to drivers.

DID ANYONE RIDE?

WAS THAT SOONER WHO TOOK THE TAPE?

BIG SALE AT ALFRED E. BIKE THIS WEEKEND!


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.

March 19, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, awoke to his shark alarm at the Shark Cove, his first thought was how great a day it was and he wasn’t going to be able to ride!

Sharkman and Lava Girl were heading over to Illinois for a family function and as he drove past the 35th exit on I-94 at approximately 9:00 a.m. he noticed that the temperature reading on the dash board of the Shark Vibe read 42. As Sharkman drove west on I-94 all he could think about was the ride un-ridden. So close to his "Field of Dreams," yet unable to ride with his Minions....

When our intrepid hero returned to the Shark Cove on Sunday night, he fully expected to find a story, or at least a snippet of some sort, from one of his Minions about the ride, but alas, no news.
Belo News was able to learn, however, that there were riders on Saturday morning and some information began to trickle into the editorial offices late Tuesday afternoon.

“I wasn’t there, but I heard there were about 10 riders….”

“I rode, but I can’t remember all those who were in attendance…….”

What would Belo News report to the Mighty Minion Nation, who waits every Thursday morning with baited breath, to find out what happened in the peloton?

Just as the deadline approached for this publication, an email was received at Belo News Headquarters from none other than Sooner!

Sooner to the rescue!

Out of his long winter hibernation, Sooner had decided to ride last week and was reporting in on the results! So here they are!

"I didn't have time for a proper (i.e. humorous) write-up, but thought I'd give you a quick update on Saturday's TdG. Even though we got a later start (10:00 am), it was a cold upper 30's at the start. There were 10 participants total (Airman, All Black, Kid Doster, Gazelle Girl, Pirate, Cheddar Head, Sooner and three riders which I was unsure of names, possibly Chumly and Mrs. Chumly (who started with us but soon rode OTB), and a tall guy on a Litespeed bike).

There were no flats, accidents or other delays as we proceeded around the lake with Airman doing the lion's share of the pulling. There was not much contesting of intermediate sprints. Gazelle Girl did get the G Avenue sprint after struggling to go around Airman after leaving his draft and with Sooner threatening to give her a big push.

As the final sprint approached, Sooner was afraid of getting boxed in and attacked first (and earlier than he wanted). Only Kid Doster was able to latch on and contest at the finish. Kid Doster made his final move to the inside, but Sooner was able to hold him off at the line. Sooner attributes his victory to all day wheel sucking ability and to the fact that no one else knew they were racing....

I hope to make another ride or two before soccer season gets into full swing. I've got three kids playing this spring, all on Saturdays. So, you won't see my face much until summer. By then I'm sure I will be struggling to stay with the pack."

Thank you Sooner!

Don’t worry Sooner! The Mighty Minion Nation will keep a spot in the peloton open for you!

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition! It is supposed to be partly cloudy with highs in the mid 30’s, so bundle up. If there is rain (which is not presently in the forecast), check the blog by 8:30 a.m. to see if the ride has been cancelled. Otherwise, the Nation rides!

We will only post if there is a cancellation.

So…..

Saturday, March 26, 2011
Launch Time – 10:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

ALFRED E. BIKE SPRING SALE THIS WEEKEND!

March 25-28, 2011
Kalamazoo, Mi.

Kalamazoo, Mi. – Alfred E. Bike has been a loyal supporter of all things Minion for over 20 years. Well, we are pleased to report that their BIG SPRING SALE is this weekend beginning Friday and ending Monday.

For those of you who have been down to this sale in the past you know what kinds of deals are out there. This is the time to stock up on tubes, get those new tires, tools, tool kits, shoes, helmets, spring for some fancy new riding apparel; you might as well buy a new bike at these prices. Is this a great country or what!?!

Tell them the Sharkman sent you!

BARRY ROUBAIX THIS WEEKEND!

Good luck to all those Minions heading up to Barry Roubaix this weekend!

Make the Mighty Minion Nation Proud!

GREAT TURNOUT FOR OPENING DAY!

HOSSMAN PICKS UP WHERE HE LEFT OFF!

STINGRAY’S NEW RIDE!

Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.

March 12, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, laid in his Shark Bed with visions of warm days and long rides, the shark alarm went off and he threw back the Shark bedspread and bolted up! Opening Day had finally arrived and he could not believe his tired, blurry eyes! The sun was shining and all was right with the world!

Opening Day was finally here!

As the soft glow of the Shark Radar reflected off of our hero’s smiling face, he took a sip from his shark coffee cup, mentally acknowledging that there was no rain on the screen and nodding with glee!

Opening Day!

However, as Sharkman loaded his titanium steed into the Sharkmobile, the clouds started to roll in. No worry, he thought, as the temperature on the dash read 42 degrees! Down right balmy for March 12!

As our hero turned into the parking lot the temperature on the dash of the Sharkmobile was now reading 40 degrees and though the temperature was getting colder, the Sharkman was feeling warmer as he saw the crowd of cyclists readying their bikes in the parking lot.

Lead among them was Stingray, sporting his new Moots Vamoots CR (see photo)! One sweet ride and what a way to start the season!

Along with Stingray, was Rainman (yes Rainman and it was less than 70 degrees! What was he thinking?) Airman, All Black, Danimal, Kid Doster, Hossman, Chumly and even Pat (Mrs. Chumly) who needs her own nickname, along with two new riders, Jesse, now named the Cheetah, and Wireless (he works for AT&T).

The crowds gathered for photos at the start and the sound of pedals clicking in rang out around the parking lot as the 12 Minions moved out! The Mighty Minion Nation was starting the 2011 season in style.

Almost like clockwork, the light in Galesburg turned red as the Minion train approached the Klutch. There was lovely Luann, running out the door to wave a greeting to the returning Minion Nation!

Airman and Sharkman lead the peloton as it headed north out of Galesburg. The pace seemed a bit quicker than most wanted and Sharkman was hurting already. Rainman came up to lead our hero out to the first sprint but almost blew him off his back wheel. Sharkman’s winter legs allowed him to hit a max speed of 15 mph as he took the first, honorary sprint of the season.

As the temperatures dropped, the wind out of the west began to rise. The next sprint to the west was brutal and the peloton split as they drifted through the sprint and headed up the col de Twin Lakes.

After gathering up at the next sprint, riders had to run the light at the 89 crossing as no one had a steel bike to trigger the light.

As the riders rode past the Yorkville Church, the discussions turned to “what did you do this winter” while Sharkman regaled them with tales of his inactivity. As the faster moving train got to Kellogg Corner, it was obvious the Skipper had not been out to prepare the road and as luck would have it, Stingray got his first flat on his first ride on his new Moots.

In the blink of an eye….or two, Airman and Stingray got the tire fixed, filled and off our riders went. As the riders got to the summit of the col de Norte, Stingray shouted out that he had another issue. The tube had begun to come through the side bead and he and Airman went through yet another CO2 cartridge. By this time, the Cheetah and Wireless got tired of waiting and Danimal had to get back. Our riders began to get concerned as everyone knows that flats and tire issues come in threes and they had yet to get to the Bermuda Triangle of flat tires just south of the Digital Divide!

Sure enough, after the riders crossed the Digital Divide, Stingrays tire started going down once again. Another blast of CO2 , a wiff of chemicals and the riders were back on the road, setting up a pace line to get Stingray in before the tire went flat again.

After the G Ave. crossing the Minions lined up for the finish. Hossman sprinted to the front to do his usual clydsdale type pull with All Black and Sharkman on his tail. Rainman, Airman and Kid Doster followed behind, biding their time.

Amazingly, Hossman kept the pace up as they came to the final hill before the finish and then, like the Energizer Bunny, he just kept going. All Black stuck to Hossman’s wheel like a dog on a meat wagon! Rainman moved up to third with Airman moving up on the left of Sharkman, who was in 4th. As the finish line moved closer, Hossman put the hammer down and the peloton, showing the honor due a champion who pulls the train to the finish, no one made a move on him and the Hossman took the first finish to 2011! It was a victory for America!

The crowds went wild on the Champ le Galesburg as our hero’s waved to the tafosi and paparazzi!

Luann had the coffee ready and Stingray, in celebration of his new ride and the fact he went through everyone’s CO2, bought Koffee for the house.

A bit later, Chumly and Mrs. Chumly pulled in and joined the festivities!

Wildman, on his way to the airport for a trip to China, also stopped in for some Koffee and to pay his respect to the Mighty Minion Nation!

You won’t want to miss this week’s action, even though the Sharkman will not be able to attend. Our hero is going to Illinois for a Lava Girl Family function. But the Minions will ride!

Due to the time change and temps, launch time will be moved back to 10:00 A.M. to allow for light and for the air to warm a bit, though the forecast looks great with temperatures around 48 and partly cloudy. Can it get any better for March!

THIS SATURDAY!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Launch Time – 10:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

OPENING DAY THIS SATURDAY!

POLE TO POLE RACE/PARTY HUGE SUCCESS!

BRAT VIRGIN?

WHERE HAS SHARKMAN BEEN?

Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.

March 10, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – Rumors had been circulating in cycling circles the past couple of weeks as to why our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was not at the Team Active End of Winter Party OR the Pole to Pole Race/Party. Where could our hero have been?

The leading rumor was that our hero was holding out for better appearance money, but the truth has now been revealed and in another Belo News exclusive investigation it has been learned that the Sharkman was actually in Cabo San Lucas with Lava Girl, lounging on the beach and drinking fruit flavored adult beverages!

Sharkman was quoted as stating that though Mexico was great, he was really sorry to miss one of the truly great cycling party weekends! (see story and photo’s above & below)

But now the Sharkman has returned and is ready to ride!

Yes, you’ve heard about it, you’ve read about it and this Saturday, you can finally experience it!

That’s right, it is Opening Day! You’ve been talking about it all winter, now you can saddle up, click in and ride with the Might Minion Nation! Is this a great country or what?

The weather is forecasted for a high of 43 and a chance of rain/snow mix. So remember, Minions will ride in the rain but they will not START in the rain. So, if you have any doubts concerning whether the Minions will be riding, check back here at the blog to see if the ride has been cancelled. We will only post if the ride is cancelled and will post no later than 8:30 a.m.

Saturday, March 12, 2011
Launch Time – 9:30 A.M. – SHARP!
Be There

POLE TO POLE RACE/PARTY HUGE SUCCESS!

Belo News
Gull Lake, Mi.

February 26, 2011

Gull Lake, Mi. – In one wild and crazy weekend, several Minions enjoyed the famous Zickman hospitality at the Zickman Estate. By all indications, this was one hell of a party with Minions winning several (Danimal and Gazelle Girl to name a couple) of the divisions and Sooner losing his brat consumption virginity! Who knew?

Belo News asked Zickman to report in on the days activities;

The Pole to Pole Race/Party was a great success for those brave souls who ventured across the lake in search of fame and beer.

5 Minions made it with Brewman and lovely Brewwoman serving as official starter and photographer.

The lake was flat with 2 inches of new snow and only a few slushy spots-good enough to bike-ski-snowshoe and walk!

The ice was 14 to 24 inches thick. The ride was tough! It was like a 2 mile sand pit at the Iceman!

Upon finishing the course, Danimal did his pole dance (see headline pic)!

I think there's a $20 tucked in his clevage!

Sooner-a brat virgin-was deflowered by the yummy grilled brats and onions and stated it was the hardest bike ride he'd ever done.

Brent Slezak and friend Richard-who came all the way from England for the beer- found walking their bikes faster and more peaceful than burning quads.

Gazelle Girl ,though fashionably late - donned skis and shuffled her way to first place!

The Bell's Winter White was flowing and almost everyone went home with a 6 pk of some type.

It was lots of fun and it just might be an annual event!

Editors Note – Well let’s hope it does become an annual event! Sharkman won’t miss out on the action next year!

See you all this Saturday!