Sharkman Wins!

First Annual Beer and Bike a Success!

Rained Out?


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
October 24, 2009

Galesburg, Mi. – As everyone in cycling knows, the Update did not get published last week. This was a sad state of affairs, as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, had actually won the finishing sprint after a major lead out by none other than the Wildman last week! Letters of complaint started pouring in in response to the lack of an Update and we again apologize that you did not receive your cycling news last week.

Even though the ride got rained out last week, there is still plenty to report, so let's get started with the previous weeks finish!

In classic fashion, the Minions headed south on 37th at a comfortable pace, with Sharkman leading out. As the Mighty Minion Nation approached the hill just before the final descent to the finish, Wildman threw out a humongous surge to the front of the peloton and Sharkman immediately glued himself to his wheel.

Unbeknownst to Sharkman, who never looks back because someone is always gaining on him, a gap opened up as Wildman pedaled like, well,….. a Wildman. Sharkman waited in the wake of the tremendous pull until the final moment and then launched his patented shark attack from the back. Wildman claimed later that he had no gas left to respond, and though unsure if it was a lack of gas or the extension of peloton courtesy, the Sharkman was happy to take the win. Dutch and Wolf King both mounted counter attacks but had let the gap open just a bit too much to pull the old shark in. It was a victory for America!

Gazelle Girl bought koffee at the Klutch as all the riders joined in for the festivities!

Yeah, Gazelle Girl!

Sharkman was amazed at the win after having participating in the First (of many, we hope) Annual Beer and Bike Tour on the previous afternoon.

A young rider and aspiring Minion named Calliou, organized this first annual bike and beer ride. Special T Shirts were made up and dates announced. However, the weather on Friday afternoons stopped the ride from taking place for a couple of weeks. Several Minions and many others had committed to ride, but as rainy Friday's hit, the numbers declined.......

However, on Friday, October 16, despite cool weather and the threat of rain, three fearless riders gathered up at Arcadia Brewing for the opening beer. Calliou, Sharkman and Grizz (see photo) launched from Arcadia after the Opening Beer. While Sharkman had enjoyed a Nut Brown brew, Calliou savored a nice IPA, while Grizz sipped a nice Anglers Ale. Now fortified, the group launched at 1:00 P.M. and headed out to the Barking Frog in Augusta. Beer selection was easy at this stop as they still had Oberon on tap! Oberon for everyone!

The ride then moved on to Bell’s Brewery in Kalamazoo where a van was waiting to return the riders to the start. After some Bell’s brews and pretzels, purchased by ride leader Calliou, Grizz and Sharkman took the van back to the start, while Calliou waited for his family at Bells. Total miles – 27 - total Beers – 3 each - cost of “Drinkstrong” T Shirts - $10 - Experience – Priceless! We hope everyone turns out for the second annual next year! Thanks Calliou for a great day on the road and in the pub!

New Ride Time!

Galesburg, Mi. – Many of the late rising Minions have been complaining that the start time needs to be moved back due to cold and darkness. Puppies!

The Minion Commissioner has apparently knuckled under to the pressure and will move the start time this weekend to 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!

The weather looks like it will be dry and actually, not too cold.

You won’t want miss the final few weeks of the season!

Be there!

Wildman Ranch Family Bash is ON!

It looks like the weather will hold out, and the party WILL go on tomorrow as planned!

For those who have not responded, it's not too late! brettmwild@gmail.com

We'll have plenty of everything!

For those who want to ride the pony or horses, a couple of things: First, recognize that you'll be riding at your own risk. Of course we'll do everything we can to make it safe, and we don't envision issues. Second, we plan to ride from 3:30PM to 4:30PM, then give the animals a rest. So, you'll need to be there during that time. If you come after 4:30PM, you'll miss the riding, but on the bright side you'll avoid being asked a hundred times, "when can I ride the pony?"

Dress for warmth, and don't forget your lawn chairs, munchies, and anything besides soda that you want to drink.

We look forward to seeing you there!

Brett (Wildman)
brettmwild@gmail.com

Wolf King Returns to the Top!

How cold was it?

Was that Boffo?


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
October 10, 2009

Galesburg, Mi. – Everyone in the peloton who had been watching Wolf King regain his form over the closing weeks of the season knew it was only a matter of time when he would reclaim a position at the top of the podium. He answered his critics on Saturday in one of the most tightly contested finishes of the year that went down to the final meters of the ride.

Wolf King started his attack early and though the peloton responded quickly to his move, there was just not enough road left to catch the streaking Wolf.

The morning began cold, as our intrepid hero rolled out of his Shark bed and ran to the Shark Outside/Inside Weather Station to see just how cold it was outside the Cove. A chilly 33 degrees was registered on the station, which always displays a couple of degrees colder than the Weather Channel (Sharks like it cold).

Frost formed on our hero’s arms as he made his way in the dark to the start. Thinking he had to be the only rider crazy enough to be out on a morning this cold, the Sharkman was surprised when he rode into the parking lot in the cool morning air and found several riders waiting. All Black, Danimal, Brewman and Wolf King were all in attendance, with Kid Doster pulling in at 7:58 A.M. and Dutch just arriving at start time. Brian (nickname to be determined) also pulled in and eight riders were ready to launch in the cold.

As the peloton moved north of town, Gazelle Girl joined on revealing that she couldn’t believe she had gotten out of a nice warm bed to ride on such a cold morning.

And then they were nine!

As the sun came up on the peloton, and the color of the trees in the cold morning mist splashed brilliant across the route, the morning was nothing short of drop dead gorgeous despite the cold air!

Fall is truly a great time to ride!

This month’s edition of Bicycling Magazine has a great section on “You know you’re a biker when….” And it caused us here at the Update to think of a couple of other items to add to their list.

You know you’re a biker when….

You take off to ride when the temp is at sub 35 degrees…..

You take off to ride when it is 35 degrees AND it is also dark outside…..

You take off to ride wearing so much winter gear it feels like you’re pedaling in thick mud…..

You see frost form on you arms as you ride and say, “Cool…..”

Though different riders took sprints, no one seemed interested in contesting jumps to stop ahead signs. In the Country Club section, Wolf King attacked after Kellogg Corner and a group was late in forming up to pull him back. By the time the group had expended energy to bring him back just short of the Rt. 43 Stop Ahead, Sharkman, who had been sitting in patiently at the rear of the peloton, made a move that no one responded to and he took the sprint.

As the Mighty Minion Nation crested the Col de Norte and started south, they looked over to the field to the left and saw a herd of deer watching them ride by. No one knew if the deer were looking for Cloud Girl or just curious at the riders dressed in tons of clothes.

The riders stayed together through the ride after Danimal easily won the G Ave. sprint the group started moving into position as they headed towards the finish. Sharkman lead the Minions south and then Brewman and Gazelle Girl took over. No one wanted to move too early and the peloton seemed content to let Brewman and Gazelle Girl to do the work.

As the train descended to the finish, Kid Doster attacked and took the lead with Sharkman on his wheel. Danimal responded to the charge and Sharkman moved to Danimals wheel as they went around Kid Doster. Sharkman was feeling pretty good as the finish line got closer. Just then he saw an attack to the right and it was none other than Wolf King, with Dutch hot on his wheel. The jump was so effective, it was hard for Danimal, Sharkman and Kid Doster to respond. Wolf King, showing his old form, edged out Dutch with Danimal taking the final podium spot.

The fans were all bundled up on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero’s rode to the Klutch. Luann was waiting with hot Bottomless Kups in the Klutch, along with the paparazzi, who clamored to get a comment from the Wolf King. All he seemed to want to talk about was his man crush on Tom Brady, while Gazelle Girl complained about how boring it was to watch bike racing on T.V. Boring? What is that all about?

It was another great ride and you won’t want to miss the last couple rides of the season or the extremely interesting discussions that take place in the Klutch after the ride!

This Saturday – Launch Time 8:30 P.M. – Sharp!

Be there!

Was that Boffo?

Galesburg, Mi. – Many of the Minions that were unable to attend the gala Sharkman 60th Birthday Celebration at the Klutch two weeks ago, have written into the Update to ask if that was actually the wayward Boffo in the photograph from last weeks story. After all, no one had seen or heard of Boffo since his series of victories earlier in the season.

We are pleased to report that it WAS the rascally clown just back from Midget Racing on the east coast after he toured Eastern Europe, where he was wrestling bears with a Russian Circus. He was kind enough to stop in and sign autographs, eat copious amounts of cake, and drink several coffees for a few minutes before driving off with the family in a little red fire truck with about 30 clowns in the back and giving his patented Boffo laugh.

Many have also asked where Sooner and Peugeot Guy have disappeared to. Normally weekly regulars, they’ve not been seen in some time and speculation centered on if the two had run off to join the circus as well. The Update asks that if any Minions have seen these two regular Minions, please report it to the Update.

Distribution List Update

It is once again time to clean up the email distribution list. The list is now at almost 60 Minions, many of whom we have not seen in some time. We will begin to clean out the names of those we have not seen in a while unless we hear from you. Let us know if you want to stay on the distribution list and continue to be harassed by these emails. If you want to be removed, send a check for $50.00 made out to Sharkman and mail it to;

Sharkman
THE Shark Cove
Battle Creek, Mi. 49015

The Klutch was Rocking for our Hero’s Birthday!

The Minions Rained out On Sharkman’s Birthday!


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
October 3, 2009

Galesburg, Mi. – Though the weather didn't cooperate, it also didn’t stop the Minions from celebrating our hero’s 60th Birthday on Saturday!

Some riders did actually show up to ride, despite the rain. Wolf King, All Black, Brewman, and Dutch where there to start, but when they realized the Sharkman would not be starting, they decided to beg off and return to the Klutch later for the festivities.

And what festivities they were!

It was obvious that it was the Sharkman’s Birthday as one approached the Koffee Klutch. As you can see from the above photo. Happy Birthday Sharkman was announced to the greater Galesburg metropolis on the Klutch road sign.

It was standing room only at the Klutch as the throngs of fans, paparazzi, tofosi and riders began to gather. Lava Girl had brought a number of photo’s chronicling the life of the living legend that seemed to be very popular with the crowd.

After some welcoming statements by President Obama, Oprah Winfrey and Lance Armstrong, The Skipper led the Minions in a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday. Then the Sharkman blew out the candles, unaided we might add, and the opening of cards and presents ensued.

Bissell Boy made a few remarks and then presented the Sharkman with a gift from all the Minions. The anticipation grew to a fevered pitch as the legendary Shark pulled the wrapping from the large box. The old Shark was all business as he opened the box to find…….Training Wheels!?! Though the Minions tried to tell Sharkman that they were titanium, he wasn’t buying it. Sharkman also received a pair of Shark Socks, a couple of toy sharks and a gift card to McDonalds! Is this a great country or what!?!

LuAnn jumped into the gift giving with an official Koffee Klutch T Shirt and Hat! What a Barista! Remembering the Minion Credo that “if you can’t be good, look good!” the Shark was looking pretty darn good in his new KK Hat!

One of the high points of the morning was a long distance collect call from none other than the Qman! After correcting the Minions for singing Happy Birthday off key, he wished Sharkman a happy Birthday, completing the mornings festivities.

But don’t worry, there are a few Saturday’s left before the end of the season and you won't want to miss them!

TIME CHANGE! TIME CHANGE! TIME CHANGE!

The start time is begin moved back to 8:30 A.M. as it is getting colder AND darker out there. Remember, we will ride in the rain, but will not start in the rain! Or if the radar is showing rain!

Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

FamilyFest at the Wildman Ranch!

Augusta, Mi. - The Minions and their families are invited to a Fall Festival at Wildman's house. Details below. Any Minion who wants to come out and have some fun should send their personal email address to Wildman at brettmwild@gmail.com. I'll get an invitation right out to them, that way we can get a count! This party is going to be loads of fun; rumor has it the Eaton Roadranger band might be there to entertain the crowd with hits from the 60s to today!

Hope to see you there!

Wildman

Host:
Brett, Gwen, Isabel, Eden, and Annie Wild
Location:
The Wilds' Place4705 North 38th Street, Augusta, MI View Map
When:
Saturday, October 17, 3:00pm
Phone:
269-7314232

Please bring your family to enjoy some outdoor fun:- Pony Rides!- Bounce House!- Bungee Run!- Lawn Games!- Hot Dogs and Soft Drinks- And more surprises!Please bring yourselves, lawn chairs, and your favorite finger food (anything that DOESN'T require utensils, i.e. chips, cookies, fruit)!Feel free to come for awhile or to stay all afternoon. We'll be lighting a bonfire at around 7PM for those who want to stay for the evening. Bring a tent if you want to camp out!!!Please RSVP by October 12 so we'll know how many hot dogs to provide.

THIS PARTY IS DEPENDENT UPON THE WEATHER. RAIN DATE WILL BE OCTOBER 24 IF NECESSARY. WE'LL SEND A NOTICE BY 10AM SATURDAY MORNING IF WE HAVE TO EXERCISE THE RAIN DATE! IF IN DOUBT PLEASE CALL FIRST!!!