Sooner Buys Koffee
Skipper’s Mom shows up for a ride?
The Minions brave the elements!
Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
May 9, 2009
Galesburg, Mi.- As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, woke on Saturday morning, he quickly threw back his Shark blanket and ran to the window in his Shark pajama's to see if it was raining. As he looked back at Lava Girl, snuggled under the down comforter, the thought crossed his mind that maybe sleeping in would be better. But it was a fleeting thought, and when he realized that it wasn’t raining he began to get excited! Game on! The Minions ride!
As he fired up the Shark Koffee Maker, he clicked on the Shark Weather Radar and saw that all the rain was clearly headed north! Game on! The Minions ride!
As the Sharkman made his way to Galesburg the sun was shining on his dorsal fin, while he faced, not only an incredible head wind, but some formidable black scary looking clouds. He smiled as he thought, like last week, he would beat Mother Nature! Game on! The Minions ride!
As he approached the start, he was gratified to see the huge turn out! Two new Minions were in the parking lot getting ready and two other guest riders who just happened to be riding by were in the mix. Steve, from Team Active in Battle Creek and another rider, saw some Minions that they knew and joined in the start, though they had been riding all morning and needed to head back after the start.
Returning after major back problems, the Pirate rode in with the Skipper, who immediately took charge to get the Minions going even though WolfKing, as usual, wasn’t ready to launch.
Filling out the dance card were Rainman and Tardette (new name to be determined – cast your vote!), Airman and Cloud Girl, Danimal, the Un-named Rider, Sooner, Peugeot Guy, All Black, Stingray and Stroker.
Luann waved as the mass of riders snaked past the Klutch and the entire peleton was pleased and surprised to see Gazelle Girl join the riders north of town at the earlier start time, making it 20 riders on the morning.
Sooner, feeling very generous and wanting his name in the Update, offered to pull the Sharkman to the first sprint as the Shark had to work to get around the mass of riders. The Team Active Riders headed back to Battle Creek as the peleton passed over G Ave.
Like last week, the tail wind was great and the group splintered quickly as they scurried up the cul de Twin Lakes and fought out the sprint at the summit.
As has become the norm, the riding between the Rt. 89 crossing, through Kellogg Curve (which had actually been swept by the Skipper this week! Thanks Skipper!) past the Country Club, to the Stop Ahead at Rt. 43, blew the peleton apart.
As the Minions rounded the north end of the lake, the sky started to spit rain and the drops started to pick up intensity as the Minions climbed the cul de Norte. Mother Nature was settling the score with the Sharkman from last week. Knowing the Minions ride in the rain, but do not start in the rain, she had drawn the Minions in with her warm sun early, only to drench them for the remainder of the ride!
At the summit of the cul de Norte, Gazelle Girl formed up the second semi successful, reverse double pace line of the season as everyone wanted to beat the rain and wind and ride off the back.
The Un-named Rider was particularly frisky and was picking off sprints like a dog grabbing bones off a meat wagon. At the foot of the Bible Conference Center Hill section the peleton blew apart again as everyone went for the sprint.
A quick stop at Frona’s allowed for a woman to come out of the restaurant and ask, “Is there a Kellogg in the group?” Since many of the Minions work at Kellogg, half of the peleton turned around in reply only to learn it was the Skippers Mom wanting to say hello to her favorite son! Skip quickly replied, “Hello Mom, thanks for coming out!” And hence, the Skipper becomes the first Minion to ever have his Mom show up for a ride!
WolfKing and Sharkman fought it out for the Inlet Sprint and WolfKing had to fight off a determined Shark and took the stop ahead by a frog’s hair.
Skipper and Pirate peeled off at the 89 crossing and the pace line again formed up. Gazelle Girl, timing her move perfectly, was launched to the G Ave sprint by the Sharkman hisself. The Unnamed Rider tried to take Gazelle Girl at the sign, but she fought him off to take her patented sprint!
Controversy then came into play and called the finish into questions.
Some of the Minions crossed G Ave., while others waited for the Minions who were behind. We would like to report the finishing sprint, but some anxious Minions, claiming they were told that all the riders had crossed G (by whom you ask? No one seems to know.), forged ahead as Sharkman and others waited for some trailing Minions.
From what the Update has learned, Sooner took the finishing honors with the Unnamed Rider and WolfKing and others on his tail.
As the Shark and the stragglers came into the Klutch, Sooner had ordered up Koffee for everyone, so he was forgiven his transgression on the early crossing and since it was Spring Season, did not get an asterisk next to his name in the win column.
Boffo, Mrs. Boffo and the little Boffo’s all came in to the Klutch for some Joe and a little hot chocolate and signed a few autographs for the crowd. Apparently Boffo is now doing Soccer half time shows and is working his family into the act!
At the Klutch, the Sharkman had been offered a ride home, but as the Minions had ridden into town the rain had stopped and he was pretty confident that the rain would end for the day. When our intrepid hero left the Klutch, the rain started yet again, and lasted till the Sharkman made the long, cold ride back to the Shark Cove. Mother Nature 1, Sharkman 0………Mother Nature won this week, but there is always next week!
So, will it rain next week? Will Mother Nature take on the Minions again, or has she decided to reward them for hanging in for a Paris/Roubaix type of ride? Will 20 riders show up? Maybe more? Will any other Bike Shop guys show up?
Well, you need to show up to find out! You don’t want to miss it.
It will be Tony the Tiger Day! – Wear your Tony Jersey!
Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP
WOLFKING! That means 8:30 A.M. launch, It does not mean pull into the parking lot at 8:30 A.M!
News Flash! Just in…….
Richland, Mi. - Several Minions showed up for the kick off of the Chain Gang ride on Tuesday night. Falcon, Zickman, All Black, Brewman, Stingray and Airman (any others?) towed the line for a fun evening of pace line work. Unfortunately, as the group was returning to the Gull Lake High School a rider had a front tire blow out, lost control, and took our own Airman down in a tremendous crash that caused both riders to have to be taken by ambulance to Borgess. Unfortunately, Airman was badly banged up and bruised, particularly on his tailbone and his recently healed back. His Doctor reports he could be out of action for up to 6 weeks as a result. The other rider sustained a bad hit to the head. The Update spoke with Cloud Girl today and she reports that Airman is resting comfortably and thinks he will be back sooner than the Doctor predicts. It is a reminder to all of us that we have to be careful out there!
For those of you wondering, his new Cervelo only had a mark on the saddle and a small scratch on the rear derailleur.
Get well quick Airman! We need you in the Peleton!
Name Tardette Contest enters Third Week!
O.K. Minions, the entries for the “Name Tardette” contest have not exactly been pouring in! What is that all about? But we do have two nominations;
1. Because of her penchant for Castelli Kit – Castelli Girl!
2. Because she is a teacher – Old School!
So submit a name or vote for one of the above names. Go to the comment section of this blog and cast your vote now!
A word from the Style Guy -
Come on Minions! No questions on style? I need questions. Get to the comment section of the blog and ask me if you’re wearing the right jersey, riding the right kind of bike, drinking the right beer, being seen in the right bike shops. Come on Minions, bring me those questions! I gotta job to do!
Style Guy
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11 comments:
This blog rocks! I love it!
Fausto Coppi
Hold on just one minute Sharkman! Sooner gets to keep the sprint after making a break after G ave. Every time that I've pulled that move you've D'Qed me. I demand an investigation or at least an asterisk on Sooners win!!
Falcon,
When was the last time you bought Koffee for the house?
I rest my case....
Sharkman
Hahahaha, "Shark pajamas."
Good update. Very funny, made Rainman LOL ( that's "laugh out loud" for those in the web 2.0 know).
Bad weather. Rainmain doesn't like to be wet. Rainman wasn't prepared for the wet. Rainman hopes the weather will be better on Saturday.
Get better soon Airman.
Rainman
Thanks for your support Falcon! Actually I didn't exactly "make a break" after G Ave. After I crossed G Ave and realized not everyone had crossed, I came to a near stop as a hand full of riders ahead of me did the same. THE Wolf King passed by and suggested we proceed as the others were either right behind or were grouped way off the back. I couldn't verify what THE Wolf King said, because by this time my vision was down to about 10%, due to road spray bypassing my regular eyeglasses and filling my eyes with grit (I quess I need to invest in proper optics).
Anyway, the "breakaway group" led by Gazelle Girl SLOWLY came back up to speed as we headed to the finish. Eventually, Gazelle Girl brought the pace up to 20 mph+, and pulled all the way to HJ Ave (no small feat with the headwind). At HJ Ave (also known as the small hill), Gazelle Girl turned off toward home. Immediately Danimal attacked followed closely by Un-named Rider. I simply caught on to Un-named's rear wheel and rode the resulting tsunami (any surfer dude in the same situation would be totally stoked). Somehow, the tsunami swept me past the two lead riders and I faintly made out the stop ahead sign as it flashed by.
SO FALCON, this break was hardly a "Falcon" type break, ie, solo sprinting to G Ave, crossing between cars, and then catching a 90 second traffic break. Regardless, I have suffered my share of DQ's in the past. I usually try to hold up and regroup, but if anyone else goes, I will too.
Get well soon Airman!
Sooner
PS - By the way Falcon, Un-named Rider can use some mentoring on blocking techniques. He's not nearly as skilled as you.
Rainmain,
Sharkman doesn't like people LOLing at his pajama's. Sharkman takes his shark pajama's very seriously. Sharkman also hopes it doesn't rain this Saturday.
Sooner,
If WolfKing lead you astray, he should have bought the coffee.
Maybe I should DQ WolfKing....
Style Guy,
Every time I get ready to ride I can't help but reach for my fancy team kit. Does thie make me total poser, groupee bike geek or what?
All kitted up,
BB
This blog rocks! I want to be a Minion too!
Vance Larmstrong
BB,
Reaching for you Team Kit for every ride is an indication of early onset bike geekdom. This is a condition that is best treated with heavy doses of Oberon. Though the Oberon my only make the condition worse, you won't seem to care after the third or fourth Oberson.
Next question please?
Style Guy
Style Guy:
I have a hard time finding floppy shoes that will work with my speedplay cleats--any recommendations? And on a side note, I also have a hard time keeping my clown nose attached at the high speeds I ride at, any ideas? Sharkman mentioned denture cream, but I'm not so sure. Thoughts?
Boffo
Dear Boffo,
Ah, few riders have the kind of style and panache that can pull off the red nose and floppy shoes routine like Boffo the Clown can. Actually, the Minions didn't realize that was a fake red nose, Boffo. Who knew?
But to keep that red nose affixed to your real red nose, if the Sharkman says to use denture cream, then denture cream it is. Just be careful you don’t bite yourself on the nose. You may not be able to get it off after the ride, but hey, who’d notice?
If you are looking for true style on the bike, ditch the Speedplay pedals and get some of those old flat pedals with the reflectors on the back. They’ll go with the floppy shoe if you dab a bit of denture cream on the soles and you’ll look prettty damn cool too!
Next question?
Style Guy
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