The Great Weather Continues!

Zickman Cleans Up!

Exciting Race Home!

Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
April 25, 2009

Galesburg, Mi.- It was another start to a great Saturday ride as 13 Minions showed up to start this week’s edition of the KK-TdG. Though the winds were a bit strong, it didn’t keep the Sharkman from riding over to the start. It also didn’t stop Nikeboy from riding to the in to say hello, sign a few autographs for the paparazzi, and then head home because he had a commitment at 10:00 A.M.

Skipper was AWOL so Nikeboy took the honors of starting the Minions off. Bullet Bob, Falcon, Sooner, Peugeot Guy, Zickman, Stingray, Cloud Girl, All Black, Brewman, and Boatman filled out the starting card. After Nikeboy got everyone to the Klutch safely, Wildman jumped on, followed by Gazelle Girl as the Minions headed north.

Wildman, loving to see his name in the Update, led the mighty Sharkman out for his honorary sprint.

The peleton moved pretty quickly up the west side of the lake, with a wind gusting to 30 mph pushing them along. Climbing the cul de Twin Lakes seemed like a piece of cake with the strong tail wind.

It was a different story after the climb up to the cul de Norte. Sharkman and Falcon attempted to get everyone to set up a pace line but once again, it was not to be until the Rt. 89 crossing.

Brewman had an early event and pealed off somewhere north of Rt. 89 and a double pace line formed up after the crossing. Though a bit uncoordinated at first, it slowly came together just as Gazelle Girl mentioned to Sharkman that since the wind was coming out of the southwest, perhaps we should consider the main pace line being on the outside and reversing the rotation. Sharkman replied that though she was completely correct, this bunch of Minions would never grasp the concept and any change could be hazardous to their physical well being!

Gazelle Girl’s streak of consecutive G Ave. Sprints was broken when she got boxed in on the pace line and the head wind would have stopped a Mack Truck from any attempted sprint to the Stop Ahead.

The final push to the finish began with a scattered pace line that seemed to form up just before the finishing hill. Zickman, All Black and Sharkman thought they had a pace line, but when Sharkman pealed off to let Zickman through, no Minions were there. Zickman and Sharkman maintained the gap as they ascended the final hill but the group formed back up as they crested for the descent to the finish. At this time, Zickman, Bullet Bob and Wildman fought it out and finished in that order and Zickman ruled for the week.

Once again, Cloud Girl, along with Stingray, sprinted to the Klutch and must have got their Koffee to go and left even before the Minions could arrive, as the press could not find them. The Minions were greeted by Luann herself, who had given her staff the day off because it was Prom Night in Galesburg. Sharkman bought his own Koffee for the first time this season, because, well, even he likes to get his name in the Update.


Many of the riders didn’t have time to stop at the Klutch, as they had family duties, so we will move the time up for this weeks ride to begin to get an earlier start, hopefully getting to 8:00 by the end of May.
Koffee was cut short anyway when Luann announced that a Severe Thunderstorm Watch was in effect and everyone looked out the windows to see dark clouds.

The Minions, never liking to start in the rain, immediately downed their koffee and headed out to mount their rides home.

Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, speedily danced his way up the hill to the Eaton plant where he caught an unbelievable tail wind home as the darkening clouds surrounded this classic rider. It was like a scene from Paris Roubaix as the Shark hit the home stretch and the sky started to spit. He bore down on the pedals like a herd of buffalo on the western plains. As he made his turn into the Shark Cove, more rain fell and just as he arrived under the eaves of the Shark Cove roof to a stretching halt, Mother Nature cut loose with a torrential down pour as if to say, “I almost got you, Sharkman!” The Sharkman had beat Mother Nature, at least this time……..(insert diabolical laugh!)

The forecast is for a low of 41 and a high of 61 on Saturday, but dry. You won’t want to miss this week’s edition.

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Name Tardette Contest!


We all know that Tardette doesn’t like her bike name. We have been trying to come up with something more original for her, so put your thinking hats on for the “Name Tardette Contest!”

That’s right, find a new name for Tardette, that she actually likes, and you can win a coupon for a free Kup of Koffee from the Sharkman.

Submit your ideas in a self addressed stamped envelope, along with a check made out to Sharkman for $50.00 to cover postage and handling, and your entry will be judged by the Sharkman himself and Tardette! Just think, a free kup of koffee from the Sharkman hisself! You can be a winner! Remember, no out of state, post dated, second party checks. (Fine print this offer is void where prohibited by law!)

Style Guy Joins the Update!

Galesburg, Mi. – If you are like us here at the Update, you were very disappointed to hear that Bicycling Magazine had let the Style Guy go. Say it ain’t so! This man knew his stuff.

So, being the great cycling news publication that the Update is, we decided to bring him to our very own Minion Update. Yes, you can now get your answers to Cycling Style questions right here at the Update. So start those questions coming! We happened to have one submitted by an unknown Minion just a few weeks ago.

Dear Style Man,

When is “retro gear” considered stylish and when is it considered, “over the top?” We’ve had some serious fashion faux pas in the past, like holes in shorts, old high school wrestling sweat pants, and undersized jerseys over Oberon belly’s. What is your take on this?

A Want to look good, because he isn’t good, Minion in Galesburg

Dear Wanna be,

You would be amazed how often I am asked this very question. We all want to live the Shark Minion Credo, “if you can’t be good, look good….” But reaching out by putting holes in your shorts, wearing cotton sweat pants or undersized jerseys is more of a pitiful cry for help. Well at least the holes in your shorts are.

Of course, when you wear retro gear, like our intrepid hero, the Sharkman did the past couple of weeks, well that is Style with a capital S! This man knows what he is doing when it comes to style (he has to, because as we all know, he isn’t too good). So the question of what you should be doing to get that retro look is to copy the Sharkman who, by his very nature, is retro!

Besides, he pays my wages…….

Style Guy

(Send your questions to “the Style Guy” at the blog in the comments section)

Remember, this Blog has a comment section and you might want to check out last weeks comments from Brewman on Falcon’s pace line coaching or Wolf Kings on, well, who else? Wolf King!

Shark Minions!

Shark Minions!

We apologize, but time got away from us here at the Update this week and we weren't able to meet the press dead line. So, no Update this week or posting on the Blog.

The short version is as follows......

17 riders showed up on Saturday for one great ride!

Stroker, who might be numero uno in the pool, was numero last place to the starting line Saturday morning, delaying the start by three minutes! What part of SHARP do you Minions not understand?!?

Returning to the Peleton for the first time this year were Wolf King, Peugeot Guy, Boatman and Tardette who is not liking her name (Next weeks Update will have a "Name Tardette" contest so put your thinking caps on and be ready to name that Tardette).

Sharkman's vacation goatee was a big hit and went with his great Schwinn Retro Jersey that he was sporting, living his credo that if you can't be good, look good. And man, he was looking good...... He was good enough to take Wolf King on the opening sprint though the wily Wolf did try to dispute the sprint the vote went to Sharkman after a review by judges.

Cloud Girl, Gazelle Girl and Tardette showed who the real riders of the peleton are and Gazelle Girl took the G Ave. Sprint for the second week in a row! The Minions also put together one of the best double pace lines they've ever executed and as they say in Chicago, "it was a beootiful ting, a beootiful ting...."

Bullet Bob stirred up the finish with shouts of "Allez, Allez..." as he took a monumental pull at the finish that brought Rainman to the victory with Brewman and Stroker on his wheel and decimation in their wake. At least we think that was the finishing order, as the Update checked with several riders and none could really remember what happened.......

Cloud Girl again won the sprint to the Klutch, where Rainman and Tardette bought Sharkman's Koffee. Airman made an appearance at the Klutch to cheers from the paparazzi and signed autographs, including the back of Hutch's jersey. He is hopeing to be back this week. Wolf King took photo's but didn't submit them by press time.

So, you won't want to miss this weeks action when the answer to these questions will be answered....

Will the ladies all show up again?

Will Sharkman wear another retro jersey?

Will Airman return to the peleton?

Who will show up late at the start THIS week?

Will the weather be fantastic again (it is predicted to be near 80 on Saturday)?

Will Tardette give herself a name before the Minions do?

Who will buy Sharkman's Koffee?

Get the answer to these questions and more......

The weather is predicted to be a low on Friday night of 60 and a high of 83 on Saturday.

Launch time - 9:30 A.M. Saturday - SHARP!

Be there!

Easter Egg Hunt kicks-off ride

After a brief but raucous Easter egg hunt at the Galesburg Middle School, Skipper, in vintage Pearl Izumi, beckoned 10 leaderless Minions to the start line. As the Minions rolled into downtown Galesburg and rounded the corner at the KK they saw Gazelle Girl playing by the railroad tracks awaiting the peloton. As she joined the group and spun up 36th Street Hutch joined the Minions after an early morning run and swim in a nearby swamp in pursuit of his new pup making it 12 leaderless Minions.

Motivated by rumors of an Easter egg hunt the young Rain Man rejoined the peloton this week. The remaining Easter dozen included Bullet Bob, Falcon, Cloud Girl, Wild Man, Dancin’ Dan, Bissell Boy, Brew Man and All Black, who has been mostly black of late, as he has been sporting assorted pieces from the Bissell kit.

Even in his absence the great Sharkman won the 36th Street sprint, the remaining intermediate sprints were won by Cloud Girl who reports that Airman may be rejoining the peloton as his back is responding well to therapy. Falcon in early season form took KOM honors and the entire group looked strong in the early season. Hutch once again experienced wheel problems with a flat and was abandoned by the group north of the Bible Conference, breaking the Shark rule of “no rider left behind”.

Falcon queued the Minions up in a shaky pace line south of M-89 which didn’t get organized until the group was south of G Ave. and the youngster Rain Man, not wanting to play went off on a solo breakaway. Bissell Boy attempting to be a super domestique for Falcon partially closed the gap, but it was not enough and Rain Man won the final sprint.

The Minions eagerly await the return their leader and continue to ask; where’s Bofo, where’s Sooner and who is Wolf King?