NEED BIBS? WE GOT'EM!!! 

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

LATE SUMMER UPDATE!

WILL THE MIGHTY SHARK MINION NATION EVER RIDE AGAIN?!?

OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

BELO NEWS

August 7, 2020

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke of the Shark Cove.....no wait. The season hasn't even started yet and it is still unknown when it might begin, if ever!

It has been so long since we've done a post, Google has changed the format and we are just learning how to use it! Oh, the humanity!

As luck would have it, or because we here at Belo News are so clairvoyant, we believe it was the correct decision to postpone the start of the mighty Shark Minion Nation Season.

Belo News realizes that not everyone agrees on the postponement, but be that as it may, there was no way to begin without having more than 10 riders and trying to coordinate how to ride safely.

So the ride is still on held and season #32 maybe next season, rather than this season, though our intrepid hero is getting his miles in and is well ahead of his usual annual goal on total miles.

So keep riding, Shark Minion and stay safe, wear your face masks and wash you fins!

We will return some day.....!

Now, some fantastic news from Gazelle Girl!

NEED BIBS? WE GOT'EM!!! 

Belo News

August 7, 2020

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - Just as Sharkman, our intrepid hero, was beginning to search for new bibs (his are getting a bit on in years) and going into sticker shock (have you priced good Bibs recently! Oh, the humanity!!!) our Vice President of Everything Important, Gazelle Girl bumped into a Minion who asked about shorts. And who doesn't need quality bibs at a good price!!!

He wondered if we could get more of those fantastic bibs that came with the 30th Anniversary Jersey. 

Gazelle Girl was ON IT!

She actually worked out two options of matching the original Shark Minion Jersey or the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Jersey! Is this a great country or what 

I know, I will be getting a couple of pairs at that price! She was also able to get a great price but we need to move fast and we need a minimum of 5 of each type of bib.

So, let the ordering begin! Here are the details from Gazelle Girl herzzelf!!!

Hey Gang! 

Do you love your Giordana shorts that go with your 30th Anniversary Minion Jersey? 

Well, here's your chance to snag a pair (or more) to match our blue Shark Minion Nation jersey and/or a pair to match our Bloody 'ell 'undred jersey. (See sample images.)

We need to order AT LEAST FIVE of one item to get the $75 price on these quality BIB shorts.
To order:

Email the following information to Joan.O@comcast.net:
   - Your name
   - Color choice: BLUE or GREEN
 
   - Quantity of each color
   - Size (see link below to Giordana's sizing chart) OR look at your 30th anniversary shorts size. (Smart, eh?)

     https://giordanacycling.com/pages/sizing
Please get your order to Gazelle Girl by August 15! 
(4-week turn around time for production)
We'll worry about the money later.
Thanks!

THE KLUTCH ANNOUNCES REOPENING JUNE 15!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

OPENING DAY, SATURDAY JUNE 20???

MAYBE!!!

DON'T FORGET TO SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES AS THEY START BACK UP!!!

INCLUDING THE KLUTCH!!!

DREAMBOAT AND ZYCKMANN LIVING THE DREAM!!!

Belo News

June 4, 2020

Shark Cove, Mi. - Where has our intrepid hero been for the past few weeks?

Oh, the humanity!!!

As dawn has been breaking over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, has been sleeping in and sheltering in place and generally, being a good shark. 

Primarily because Lava Girl has kept a close eye on him, insuring he was washing his hands, wearing his face mask, and eating well. Actually, our hero has lost a few pounds eating healthy!

Where has Belo News been....?

There really hasn't been very much to report! 

Oh, the humanity!

The Commissioner of Cycling and his team have been pouring over schedules, political announcements and Covid-19 protocols and all things pandemic, trying to determine when the mighty Shark Minion Nation could begin their delayed season on their beloved Field of Dreams known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull! 

Come on, really, .......what would the KK-TdG be without the KK?

Andrew, world famous Barista Boy, made the long awaited announcment last night on the Koffee Klutch Facebook page.......

Posts

Koffee Klutch

18 hrs · 

Summary: reopening at 6:00am June 15th

Hey friends and family!
With the restrictions beginning to be lifted in Michigan, we as a staff are getting ready to serve everyone again! It is our hope that everyone got through this time in a positive manner. We are sure looking forward to seeing you all again. We will be opening our doors on Monday June 15th at 6:00am. Until then we will be restocking and prepping to once again be your chill spot to relax in the morning while providing a safe environment encompassing the rules set forth by our state of Michigan. Best wishes. Be safe, be well.
See you soon!

- Koffee Klutch management

34You and 33 others

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With the announcement that the Koffee Klutch will be coming back on line on June 15, 2020, the tentative Opening Day for the mighty Shark Minion Nation will be Saturday, June 20, 2020! 

Is this a great country or what?!?

We say "tentative" as we do not know if there will be any changes between now and the 20th, as the State slowly begins to reopen. So watch for more news as the Nation gets closer.

Additionally, we may put some requirements on the ride, should we get a big turnout. For instance, if we have a group of 20 or more riders, the decision may be made to split the group and have the two groups go in the opposite direction around Gull Lake so we are not violating any rules on the number of people gathered. This will probably depend on how the next couple of weeks go.

So watch for future announcement on Opening Day in Belo News as we get closer to June 20!

Is this a great country or what?!?

DON'T FORGET TO SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES AS THEY START BACK UP!!!

Belo New

June 4, 2020

Shark Cove, Mi. - As all are aware, it has been a tough couple of months for many, but even more so for small businesses, like our beloved Koffee Klutch, center of the mighty Shark Minion Nation's fix for that nectar of the koffee Gods, known as the Bottomless Kup! 

We have been in touch with Barista Boy and he is ready to get started back up! Each of you should have received the flyer in the Update from Karl and the Freedom Friday riders, promoting local businsess like our local bike shops, as well as Players in Augusta where we have our In Lieu of Iceman Party each year. 

So please help these businesses through this tough time. For the Klutch, the Sharkman, hizzelf, is recommending that on Opening Day, each Minion buy their own koffee and determine how much koffee they would have purchased over the past couple of months, round it up (way up) and pay to help our Koffee Shop get back on its feet! Give whatever you can.

If you aren't there Opening Day, stop by and help out any way you can!

We owe it to Barista Boy and the Koffee Klutch Team, so lets show some Shark Minion spirit, open those wallets, and get this show back on the road!

DREAMBOAT AND ZYCKMANN LIVING THE DREAM!!!

Belo News

May 29, 2020

What is that on your chinny, chin chin, Fabio?

Encinitas, Ca. - Anyone who is anyone in the world of cycling has been asking, "Where in the world is Fabio?" 

That legend known as Zyckmann, Zychkmun, Zykkmann, Fabio, whatever, .....has been missing in action most of this past Spring, so Belo News sent out a special invesigative reporter to find out "Where in the world is Fabio?"

Subsuqent investigative efforts have now revealed that the legend known as Fabio has stayed out west, in San Diego, where he has linked up with fellow Shark Minion, Dreamboat! Is this a great country or what?!?

Dreamboat and Zyckmann, living the dream!
Has Fabio gone Cali Amish?

Apparently the duo has been riding regularly and now consider themselves "neighbors!" 

In these never before seen photographs, taken by the paparazzi, you can see the intrepid Shark Minions taking in the sites along the Pacific Ocean. Seen here at Swami's, reportedly a great surf site, the two are enjoying the legendary surg! 

Belo News was hoping for some photos of Fabio in his Speedo surfing, but thankfully, none of those were available. However, readers might want to check the National Enquirer.  

Surfing USA!
Swami's Beach!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

LIFE UNDER QUARANTINE!

CRASH IN THE MINI PELOTON?

PIRATE AND MRS. PIRATE MAKE IT BACK STATESIDE!

MINIONS REPORTING IN!

BARISTA BOY ANDREW AWAITING THE SHARK MINIONS RETURN!!!

NO DATE SET FOR OPENING DAY!!!


Belo News
April 22, 2020

Shark Cove, Mi. - One of the great things about putting out Belo News, is the responses we get here in the news room, from Shark Minions all over the world!

Lava Girl & Sharkman enjoying the snow!
Belo News knew you need to see your
intrepid hero!

Not just the cycling world, but the entire world. After 31 seasons, Belo News subscribers are now all over the world with chapters in Durango, Colorado and San Diego (well, sort of) and Minions in the U.K. and New Zealand!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Or should we say a great world?!?

So it has been great to hear from so many of our faithful subscribers who reported in that they were doing fine during this quarantine time, but were also waiting for a return to a more normal life and for most, riding with the mighty Shark Minion Nation once again.

Sharkman had been able to ride periodically with his Wingman, Yeti Boy.

That is until a little over a week ago......

Yeti Boy, that force of nature, recently had a run in with an errant dog as he rode through Scotts, Michigan with Reb, Sharkman and Fire. The dog took out Yeti Boy's front wheel, causing him to crash on his previously injured right hip!

He was able to get up with help from Reb and Fire, and since the Cafe in Scotts was open, Sharkman did what Sharkman excell's. He went and got coffee for everyone while Yeti rested on the front steps of the Cafe.

Some readers may recall that Yeti had broken that hip 2 years ago and then, had fallen on it during last years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred. Yet being the "force of nature" that he is and not wanting to cause concern for Mrs. Yeti, nor wanting to go to a Covid19 ridden emergency room, he decided to try to ride.

He could pedal, mostly with one leg, so riders moved out towards Battle Creek, keep a close eye on the fallen hero. The group also picked up Hermster along the route, doing an easy 40-50 miles on this beautiful Saturday. Well, not so beautiful for our Yeti Boy!

During the ride back, Hermster shared that he had had a crash last fall, after the regular Shark Minion Season and broke his collar bone, but was back on the mend and crunching the miles so far this year. Hermster rode all the way back to Battle Creek before turning around to head back home.

Yeti Boy made it home safely (15 miles) on the bum hip and realized when he arrived that he could not put any weight on the leg. So he decided to wait until Monday to see how it felt before going to the doctor.

Though the pain did improve by Monday, he could still not put any weight on the leg, so he decided to go to the emerency room. He was pleased to learn from the X-Ray that there was no evidence of a break, but a CT Scan indicated that he had fractured the bone around the titanium bolt from his hip surgery repair a couple of years ago and though it did not need surgery, he will need to keep weight off of it for 4-6 weeks while it heals.

So he is now self medicating at home with liberal amounts of bourbon while the hip heals up.

Get well soon Yeti!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation awaits your return and can only hope that when your hip is healed, the Nation is actually riding together again and ready to ride!!!

Concerning Opening Day, it is still too early to make a determination of when to start the season, but hopefully, it won't be too long, so hang in their mighty Shark Minion Nation, hang in there!


PIRATE AND MRS. PIRATE MAKE IT BACK STATESIDE!


Belo News

Where in the world are Mr. & Mrs. Pirate!!!

April 2, 2020

Dayton, OH. - After Belo News went out a few weeks ago, that legend of the Peloton, the Pirate, checked in with this report!

Take it away, Pirate!

Mrs. Pirate and I left the USA in August of 2019 for another adventure. First stop was 6 weeks exploing Eastern Europe through 11 Balkin Countries.

We then continued for 4 months traveling around New Zealand and actually ran into Dreamboat for a quick visit (Editors note - is it us, or does it seem Dreamboat is like, everywhere?).

We headed for Australia/Tasmania in February. While enjoying the wine region of Margaret River and the Indian Ocian that carzy COVID-19 pandemic hit the world. We decided to head home once we found out that evyeron was closing their borders.

After enduring a 40+ hour epic trip from Perth, Australia to Detroit, we finally landed in the US of A on Sunday night, March 28, 2020.

We are struggling to get our body clocks adjusted to this time zone!

We are self quarantined at my father in laws condo in Dayton (he is currently in rehab) so felt this was the best place to isolate for 2 weeks.

I did stop by our storage shed and picked up the most important item (our bikes) so your postponment allwed me to get back in the saddle again!

Once this pandemic is lifted, I'll be sure to head to back to the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

We look forward to seeing you again in the peloton, Pirate and thank for the story!!!


BARISTA BOY ANDREW AWAITING THE SHARK MINIONS RETURN!!!

Belo News
April 19, 2020

Galesburg, Mi. - Being concerned as to how the holy mecca of Koffee was doing during the 2020 COVID-19 Pandemic, Belo News checked in with the Nations favorite Barista, Andrews this past Saturday. Barista Boy gave the following report!

"Hey Sharkman. Mostly we are playing the waiting game with everyone else. Did some improvements, closed up all we could to save costs during this. Honestly thought we would be back by now. 😕 but know we are not going anywhere, just waiting with the rest of Michigan. I really appreciate you thinking of us. It will be good to see the minion nation again. Wishing the best for you and yours!"

- Barista Boy

Belo News reported back that the Nation would return, even if it was carry out and the Shark Minions had to sit in the grass behind the Klutch! Oh, the humanity!!! Hope to see you soon, Barista Boy!

AND HOW IS FINLEY DOING, YOU ASK!?!

Belo News

Finely is still growing and getting
ready to ride!!!

April 1, 2020

Gull Lake, Mi. - That legend of the peloton known as Stryker Guy reported back after the last edition of Belo News along with an updated photo of our newest Sharklet Minion, Finley!

Take it away, Stryker Guy!

"Sharkman—

The blog is a welcome site. I was thinking about it earlier today—it is almost riding season. Reading through blog was terrific as always. I’ve been getting in quite a few gravel rides with future Minion, Scott, owner of the Old Mill and new neighbor. 

Luke Skywalker, Bissel Boy and Eastie have joined in as well, trying to get into Minion riding shape. The other future Minion, Finley, is excited for the season to start, but isn’t sure she’s fully ready.  Probably would help if she could sit up on her own (I have that problem occasionally) first. Soon though!

Take care my friend. Can’t wait to see the Nation"

SG

After a response from the Editors here at Belo News, he acknowledged that he was using some of the down time to learn to play the banjo! He said he wasn't sure he was learning, but it beat watching the news!!!

Oh, the humanity.....not the banjo! 

Sharkman told him he should have taken up the ukulele, as the ukulele player always get the girl!!! 

Is this a great country or what?!?

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

Oh, the humanity!!!

OPENING DAY POSTPONED!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

THE BRIARS OF SAN MIGUEL!

WAIT....IS THAT SQUEAKY? OR AN IMPOSTER?

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ZYCKMANN???

THE NATION WILL RIDE AGAIN!!!

Belo News
April 1, 2020

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn breaks over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero........ sleeping in, once again.

Being self quarantined, the old shark has lost all semblence of self discipline and has brought laziness to new levels. The Shark describes the Shark Cove as like being in Las Vegas......"losing money by the minute, cocktails acceptable at any time of day, and not knowing what day it is, let alone what time it is....." The man is in his bathrobe most of the day just "abiding dude!"

The old Shark was quoted as saying, "it is like being retired, on steroids!"

But we digress.......

Sharkman training in the foothills of the Sangre
de Cristo Mountains!

After driving out to Santa Fe for his annual Spring Training at altitude, and getting some great mileage in, the Coronavirus began to make itself known and things started shutting down across the country very quickly. His Sharklets school closed up until April 1 (and later, called off the rest of the school year!)!

With all the uncertainty, our intrepid hero decided it might be a good idea to head back to the Shark Cove early. So he and Lava Girl loaded up the Sharkmobile after only two weeks and headed back to the safety of the Shark Cove where they are now self quarantined.

As a result of the Govenor's "Stay Home" order,  Opening Day for the mighty Shark Minion Nation will be postponed until further notice.

Sharkman is riding, along with Yeti Boy, who also came back from his Spring Training in Mexico for he the same reasons (check story below).

Meanwhile, Belo News will continue to post any news that becomes available like the following stories from the world of cycling!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation will ride again.....it just has to be patient!


THE BRIARS OF SAN MIGUEL!

Belo News

Get a load of these legs!
Oh, the humanity!!!

March 11, 2020

San Miguel de Allende, Mexcio, - That legend of the peloton known as Yeti Boy, reported in from Spring Training in Mexico to state that the briars in the high mexican desert were particularly bad this year along his hallowed training ground.

Reporting only two flat tires during his shortened Spring Training, he did have to suffer major "briar burn" as he rode the high desert plains of North Central Mexico.

Quoted as stating "You pay to go off road here😬" the force of nature known as Yeti Boy sucked it up and just kept training until he was forced to come home due to the travel advisories.

Seen here, in this photo, he shows us his scars as he downs a bit of post ride tequilla. Is this a great country or what?!?

Belo News is pleased to report that Yeti is now home and rested up for the season that is yet to come!!!



WAIT....IS THAT SQUEAKY? OR AN IMPOSTER?

Belo News

Dreamboat and Squeaky's brother Tom!
Squeaky had siblings! Who knew?

March 6, 2020

San Diego, CA. - Dreamboat, Belo News West Coast Reporter, checked in with an interesting story for the Nation!

Turns out he had been riding for some time with a guy who looked vageuly familiar (editors note - "vaguely?" Are you kidding us? They look like twins!) for almost 2 years.

Since they live close to each other, they rode home from a group ride and talked for a while before Dreamboat mentioned he was from Michigan. The familiar looking rider mentioned he had a brother who rides every Saturday around Gull Lake and the Minion connection was made. Is this a small country or what?!?

Introducing Tom, our own Squeaky's brother!

Yes, our "Style Guy," the Squeakster, has a bike riding brother out on the west coast! What a small world, eh, Bunkie!!! So the two have formed another Shark Minion Chapter in the San Diego area. Perhaps Zyckmann can link up with them as well!

Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation Tom (name to be determined)!

The Nation will save a spot in the peloton for you if you get back to see your brother Squeaky!!!

And speaking of Shark Minion Chapters, Belo News and the mighty Shark Minion Nation want to wish a Happy Birthday to the President of the Mountain Chapter of the Minions, the Durango Kid! Wishing you a fantastic day!

The Durango Kid and his main squeeze,
the lovely Toni! Happy Birthday DK!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ZYCKMANN???

Belo News
March 31, 2020

Zyyckhmoin!!!

San Diego, CA. - Where in the world is that legend of the peloton, Zyckmann, aka Fabio, Ziichmonn, Zychkmiin, ......whatever?

Since no one had heard from the famed rider, radiologist,  marathon runner, male model, whatever.....Belo News reached out to him to determine if he was back in the State, making his way to his Gull Lake Estate, or was hunkered down on the west coast.

Belo News found Zyckmann sheltered in place with lovely wife Marsha, and son Alex in his west coast lair known as Zyckmann's Estate, West.

He reported that his son Alex, who lives in New York, came out for a visit before the Coronavirus hit and before New York got locked down. Due to the lock down he stayed and why not enjoy the California sun until the virus crisis passes, eh?

Zyckmann reports he is getting his riding in, but is missing the rolling hills of that other "field of dreams" the Shark Nation knows as Fort Custer.

Safe travels back, Zyckmann! The Nation awaits your return to the peloton!!!

MINIONS ROCK END OF WINTER PARTY!?!

WHO AMONG THE NATION WERE THERE????

The gangs all here!

SEASON OPENER 

APRIL 11, 2020! 

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

February 28, 2020

Battle Creek, Mi. - This years End of Winter Party was on fire with deals, people, beer and, of course, Shark Minions!

New Holland brewing was on hand with a number of their great beers, there was a band and a guest speaker who really rocked it!!!

Oh, the humanity!

Several of the Shark Minion Nation were on hand to help celebrate the end of winter! And with the weather last weekend, it seems like the party worked to end the worst of it!!!

Sharkman was everywhere, pressing the flesh, signing autographs, and taking selfies with fans! 

This is a great country!!!

Sharkman was in his element as he worked the crowd like a independent candidate running for Town Dog Catcher!

And who wouldn't vote for our interpid hero, eh?

With the weather turning almost instantly warm after the Party, the Commissioner of Cycling has designated Saturday, April 11 for the official opening of the 32d consecutive season of the Shark Minion Tour! We realize this is Easter weekend, but Sharkman will be out in Spring Training (Santa Fe visiting Sharklets) until April 4.

So mark you calendars and watch for information as we get close.

So get ready, Bunkie and watch for more information about Opening Day!

See you then!

Reb, looking diminutive next to our intrepid Hero, eh?

Nikeboy must have been standing on something?

Skittles was in attendance as Reb photobombed!

OKC Was on hand as well!

Sharkman "cutting the angle" on
Super Trooper! Oh, the Humanity!

END OF WINTER PARTY THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!!!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

IT HAS BEEN A LONG WINTERS NIGHT!!!

NEW SHARKLET IN THE PELOTON!!!


Belo News
February 25, 2020

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was lamenting a pretty dismal winter. January was mostly fog, rain and weather that was too wet and muddy with temps in the 30's and a major lack of snow, making it impossible to ski or even, fat tire.

Then February arrived and though there was occassional snow fall, the skiing was, for the most part, limited.

But the end is in sight, Bunkie!

And though the mighty Shark Minion Nations "Field of Dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull is presently under a winter storm warning, spring is coming!

No, really!!!

And how do all cyclists know that spring is near, you ask?

Because it is time for the annual "End of Winter" Party at Mikes Team Active Bikes!

Oh, yes, Bunkie, you heard that right.

This Friday, February 28, 2020 is this annual get together for local bike enthusists! And we here at Belo News are hoping for a good Minion turn out so we can all catch up and celebrate the end of this past long winters night while supporting our local bike shop!

The cool kids (Sharkman and his entourage) will be there around 6 p.m. and he is hoping to once again, press the flesh with his beloved Shark Minions. There will be great deals on bikes and gear and New Holland Brewing will be on hand offering their astounding beer in preperation for their opening in Battle Creek.

So, here is the drill.

This Friday, February 28, 2020 Mike's Team Active End of Winter Party!

From their Facebook Page, and we quote......"We have a special guest for the End of Winter Party!!! New Holland Brewing will be setting up shop on our third floor to get the party rolling! See you February 28th at 4:00PM."

We look forward to seeing the mighty Shark Minion Nation Friday night!

Let's get this winter behind us!

Be there!


NEW SHARKLET IN THE PELOTON!!!

Belo News
February 1, 2020

The Legend, Styker Guy introduces Finely
to the Shark Minion Nation!

Gull Lake, MI. - The mighty Shark Minion Nation is pleased to announce and introduce another addition to the peleton!

Riding legend Stryker Guy has announced a new granddaughter!

The latest addition to the Heath Team is named Finley, which is Gaelic for fair haired Warrior!

Is this a great country or what!?!?

Let's all congratulate Stryker Guy and Grandma Stryker Guy on this fantastic news!

We can't wait to see Finley in her Shark Minion Jersey!

Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Finley!