A SHISHBOOMING START TO THE YEAR!

The Mighty Minion Nation at "the Ranch!"

BLOODY MARY? DON'T MIND IF I DO!

Belo News

January 25, 2014

Triple Nasty Rancho, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Gazelle Girl Estate,  bands of snow continued to travel through the hills and valleys of what has come to be known as the Triple Nasty Rancho.  Gazelle Girl and Toesetter began wondering if any brave Minions would make the trek to their abode to shishboom those "hills and valleys!"

Mean while, as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman opened his garage door at the Shark Cove he was taken aback by the amount of snow that had fallen overnight and the condition of his driveway!

Ski's at the ready!

Bissell Boy loves the snow!

It seems the old Shark had been up to Lansing the previous evening and had gotten home around 10:30 p.m. and his driveway was fine.  So he never looked out the window when he got up and was shocked to find what looked like at least 4 inches of new snow in the drive.  As he worked his way over to pick up his wing man, Yeti Boy, a dark cloud came over south Battle Creek and in the short mile to Yeti's, our hero drove through a couple of "white outs!"  Oh, the humanity!

He found Yeti Boy shoveling snow when he arrived and immediately commented that maybe he

should have brought the 4 wheel drive Honda Pilot instead of his Vibe/Sharkmobile!

Too late!

Yeti threw his ski's in the back of the Sharkmobile, along with a shovel just in case, and off they went to the Triple Nasty Rancho of Gazelle Girl and Toesetter!

For the most part, the roads were good until they got near the Rancho, where it looked as though any plow would be considered a foreign entity.

As the pair came upon the Rancho, it was apparent that good ole Toesetter had been out with the snow blower, as the drive was as clear of snow as a baby's butt.

As they parked in the drive, Toesetter was busy with the snow blower, touching up the remainder of the drive and a strong band of snow returned with a vengeance between sunshine blasts.

Brewman was ready to shishboom!

Soon, Brewman pulled in followed by Ranger Rick and his faithful K-9 companion, Scout, and Bissell Boy filled out the remainder of the shishbooming peloton.

As the Nation walked into the house, it was hard not to notice all the cool ski's, snow shoes and assorted winter toy's lined up along the back wall to the Triple Nasty Rancho.  With the snow coming in sideways, it looked like a winter wonderland!

Is this a great country or what!?!

Gazelle Girl had really put on the dog, with Deviled Eggs, fruit and bread, and these really cool cookie thingy's that were shaped in a ball, but with all these little stick like things sticking out, and man, they were delicious!  After Gazelle and Toesetter got everyone a Bloody Mary, Sharkman gave a toast to the opening of the 2014 season as Bissell Boy entertained the troop with several jokes.

Once fortified with goodies, the Nation headed out the door to strap on their ski's to hit the slopes.

After a round of photo's, autograph's were signed and Toesetter, in a very impressive pair of no-wax, back country ski's with cable bindings, headed out to break trail in the new snow.  Toesetter did yeoman duty breaking trail for the entire day! Believe it, the snow was DEEP!

A gathering of the Nation (around Bloody Mary's!)!

Scout, Ranger Ricks K-9 and Gummo, Gazelle Girls pup, became quick friends while both fell in love with Ranger Rick who threw them goodies from time to time.  Sharkman tried to get into the action but backed off after a couple of growls were diredted his way when he got to close to catching a treat in his mouth.

The entire peloton was amazed and not only how much land Gazelle Girl and Toesetter had behind the Rancho, but the great hills to ski on!  

Additionally, Gazelle Girl, who also had some pretty cool no-wax, back country ski's gave a pretty cool demonstration of "telemark" skiing down some of the major hills.  One very long, fast hill was so popular, the Nation did it three times though poor Sharkman had trouble with slippery ski's getting up the other side.

Bissell Boy entertains the Nation with a few jokes......

The shishbooming also included an interesting story by Gazelle Girl about a crashed truck, drugs, a motorcycle and a police chase that took place right in the very woods they were skiing in! Is this a great country or what?!?

After a couple of hours and 5 miles of hard skiing, the Nation returned to the homestead for even more Bloody Mary's, goodies and a tour of the Rancho by Toesetter, who is on hell of a cabinet maker!  

Toesetter had recently built a "Bike Room" for Gazelle Girl and was able to match wood that creates a gazelle in the grain of the would, which was amazing! The man is a woodworking savant!

After another round of Bloody Mary's and beer, the nation decided it was time to head home…..

Gazelle Girl gives a presentation on drug crashes and police chases!

Big thanks to Gazelle Girl and Toesetter for opening up the Triple Nasty Rancho to the Nation! It was a blast!

Sharkman had a bit of a problem with one of the hills
but does seem to have a cute behind, eh?

UPCOMING EVENTS!

Belo News

January 29, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - With the snow, it is a bit difficult to believe that the season will be here soon.  However, before we even get to that, there are some dates that every Minion needs to save for special events;

Saturday, February 22, 2014 - Zickman will be bringing back the famous "Pole2Pole" Race (aka P2P Race)!  Minions may remember that this event was cancelled last year because…well…there was not ice on Gull Lake.  That shouldn't be a problem this year, eh Bunkie?  This "race" goes from the flag pole in the yard at the Zickman Estate, to the flag pole at the Gull Lake Country Club across the lake.  Entrants can race on any non-motorized device the wish…..bike, ski, snow shoes, sled, by foot, whatever!  So stay tuned for more information on the return of this great race in February!

Friday night, February 28, 2014 - End of Winter Party at Team Active in Battle Creek!  This annual event is a must for any cyclist in the area.  

Saturday, March 8, 2014 - Tentative Opening Day for the Minion Nation (subject to change depending on weather and Sharkman's travel schedule….after all, it is his ride Bunkie!)

SHISHBOOMING!*

(*Shishbooming is Minion for cross country skiing)

Belo News

January 21, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, gathered the Editorial Staff of this fine blog, to discuss a "Mid-Winter" Update, an email lit up his shark computer screen.  It was from that "Sweetheart of the Peloton,"  and legend of the Nation, Gazelle Girl!  Sharkman opened the email to learn that the legendary rider was contemplating having the Nation out for a mid-winter ski at her famous Triple Nasty Rancho! What great timing!

Shishbooming!?  Is this a great country or what!?!

Yes, you read that correctly, Bunkie!

This Saturday at Gazelle Girls Estate, also known in the Nation as the Triple Nasty Rancho, the Nation will "shishboom" through the fields and wooded pastures of Gazelle Girl and Toesetter!

Kick off is 10:00 a.m. but Minions might want to arrive a bit early to fortify themselves with a bit of coffee and/or bloody mary's! 

It is all on the above invitation, but if you have questions, contact Gazelle Girl!

Let's get the New Year's off to the right kind of start!  Get those ski's waxed and ready and come on out!

Oh, yeah, you heard that right, Bunkie!

BE THERE!

WHERE IN THE WORLD HAS SHARKMAN BEEN?

Belo News

January 21, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - So, what has our intrepid hero been up to since the Iceman in November you ask?

Well, here is a short re-cap of our hero's intrepid adventures to New Mexico, California, Kentucky AND Nashville, Tennessee!

TOUR DE MUD!

The mud was deep just before MK lost his tire!

Belo News

November 29, 2013

White Mesa, New Mexico - As avid readers of Belo News are aware, Sharkman's son in law, the Great Moultini takes particular delight in putting our hero in what he calls "Sam's Pain Cave."  This has been going on for years.  Who can forget the betrayal at the Iron Horse, the ill fated Sandia Crest Climb and more recently, the death run down the North Dale Ball Trail, a trail down the side of a mountain that is described as;

"They are tricky, technical single-track twisters through the pinon woods in the foothills over looking Santa Fe. They include several water crossings and the tread is good and fast but watch out for the soft shoulders and tight switchbacks." 

At the start of "The Dragon's Back!"

The Sharkman had driven out to Santa Fe for Thanksgiving and had brought his trusty 9er with him to ride.  However, he drove through an ice/snow storm and found 8 inches of snow waiting for him when he arrived at the home of his daughter and was not going to be able to ride.  Sharkman's other son in law, MK, arrived just before Thanksgiving and as the threesome discussed possible rides over a few beers while watching football all Thanksgiving day, the Great Moutlini mentioned that Albuquerque didn't get as much snow as Santa Fe and they should ride the "Dragon's Back" at White Mesa.

MMMmmmm sounded good.  Sharkman liked the sound of "the Dragon Back!"

As dawn broke over Santa Fe, our intrepid hero found himself waiting for his two sons in law as they recovered from their late night Thanksgiving revelry (apparently, they kept partying after the old Shark had left).  With the late start, the sun was warming the terrain and the three riders were feeling good about the chance to ride the "Dragon's Back."

The attached link gives a good description of the ride:

http://www.blm.gov/nm/st/en/prog/recreation/rio_puerco/white_mesa_bike_trails.html 

If that isn't scary enough, watch the crash at the beginning of this Youtube video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVF2DjXfBwE

When Sharkman, The Great Moultini and MK arrived at the trail head, several others were readying

The long walk home.......

their rides and taking off layers as the elevation was lower than Santa Fe (still around 6,000 ft.) and the sun much warmer.

All three riders noticed the mud as they launched from the trail head, but the beauty of the scenery somewhat blinded them from what lay ahead……

As they climbed to the top of the first of the two ridges of the "Dragon's Back" the mud got worse and they came across four other riders who were deciding to head back due to the mud.

It had snowed in Albuquerque and though it had melted, it had left the sand/clay very soft and muddy.

However, the Great Moultini was not to be deterred and stated that the expedition should forge ahead until the mud got worse and then, rather than go down into the valley and return on the second ridge, take a two track road out on the west side of the ridge.

The Great Moultini and Sharkman

As the three made their way forward, the mud got worse and the team began to question the Great Moultini's leadership.  Mutiny was on their minds as they approached the final ascent of the ridge, where they could see the two track that was flat and would take them back to the trail head.

As they came off the ridge, which was tricky in itself, they started the ride back praising the Great Moultini for getting the team out of the mud.

It was, however, short lived.  Within a mile or two, the real mud began!  The mud became so thick, it was almost impossible to roll the bikes! As the riders began walking, they sunk into the mud. It became so thick, it pulled MK's rear tire off the rim and he ended up having to carry the bike for a while.  He looked like Humphrey Bogart in "The African Queen" pulling the boat along the river in Africa! Oh, the humanity.

The last ascent. Note the bikes at the bottom.

As Sharkman tried to ride ahead in areas where he wasn't sinking in the mud, the Great Moultini made a successful attempt to get MK's tire back on the rim and they were able to get the bike rolling again.  It took more time, about an 1 1/2 hours, to walk through the mud than it took to ride the entire west ridge of the "Dragon Back!"

As our readers can see from the photo's, the mud on the bikes was record breaking and Sharkman reported having to take his entire bike apart once he got home to get it clean.  This was after they stopped at a car wash to hose the bikes down!

Muddy tires at car wash......

SAN PABLO RESERVOIR RIDE

San Pablo Resevoir Route

Belo News

December 22, 2013

Berkeley, California - Christmas found our intrepid hero in California to visit his other daughter and family and his son in law, MK, was able to score Sharkman a Cannondale Synapse from the Facebook stable!  This ride was much more mellow than the now famous White Mesa Mud Ride, but full of hills for our hero who had not been on the bike since Thanksgiving! (Yes, MK also likes to put our hero in "MK's Pain Cave....."

This 20 mile ride circles the San Pablo Reservoir just northeast of Berkeley California and it seemed unusual to the old Shark to be able to ride it in light clothes.  Sharkman got a second road ride in on the Iron Horse Trail, not to be confused with the Iron Horse in Colorado.  This Iron Horse runs through Walnut Creek, down to San Ramon and beyond and is very close to his daughters home in Walnut Creek.  A

MK looking over the Resevoir

great way to spend Christmas!

THE SNOW RIDE

Home sweet home.  The Shark Cove!

Belo News

January 6, 2014

Nashville, Tennessee - New Years found our hero and Lava Girl enjoying the holiday with friends in Cincinatti before heading down to Nashville for wedding on January 5.  The First Couple of Cycling had a fantastic time in Nashville, hitting all the main tourist spots like Tootsies and the entire Broadway scene, the Country Music Hall of Fame, the Ryman Auditorium, home of the Grand Old Opry, Vanderbilt University and the Parthenon.  However, as they were enjoying the weekend in Nashville, they kept hearing about the "Polar Vortex" that was on it's way and decided to bust out of Nashville early on Sunday morning as the storm approached.

The two made it to Indianapolis in record time and were feeling good when the rain, then the snow, began to fall.  As they drove around Indianapolis, the snow got deep, the cars started skidding and the plows became scarce.

From Indianapolis, I-65 was down to one lane and Sharkman pulled in behind a Kroger semi and hung on for dear life as the hit speeds of 35-40 mph.  

Mean while Lava Girl begged him to pull over and just check into a hotel (normally, our hero would like that kind of offer from Lava Girl) however, he replied that he was not checking into a hotel at 3 p.m., watch black and white TV and eat McDonalds for three days!  It was Indiana!  

No, the Sharkman was going to make it home to the Shark Cove!

And make it home they did!  After an 11 hour drive (it should have been about 7 hours from Nashville) they slipped (Literally) into the Shark Cove and were very happy to be home.

Since then, Sharkman and Yeti Boy have been skiing up a storm every chance they get!

OPENING DAY MARCH 8, 2014

Belo News

January 21, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - Though under, yet another Polar Vortex (not really, but it is freakin cold out there!), it is time to think about Opening Day.  Tradition dictates that Opening Day take place on the second Saturday of March and this year that means March 8, 2014.  This would be the earliest that the Nation has launched and will be subject to change pending travel by our hero, as well as the weather.  Watch for more information on this in February!

See you all at the Triple Nasty Rancho this Saturday!