SHARKMAN WINS SPRINT – BOTH WAYS!

DUTCH TO BE RENAMED?

INTO THE VALLEY OF DEATH RODE THE MIGHTY MINION NATION!


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.

September 18, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – As dawn broke slowly over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, jumped from the warm, cozy comfort of his shark bed and padded to the kitchen to stoke up his Shark Koffee Grinder and the Shark Koffee maker. The Sharkman loves the smell of Koffee in the morning!

Having thought he heard a good weather report the night before, our hero didn’t bother to check the Shark Radar and it was so dark outside, it hid the weather that was apparently approaching the Cove from the west.

Our hero struck out from the Cove with lights on his bike, as it seemed to remain dark longer than expected on this warmish Saturday morning. Little did our hero know what lay ahead as ominous storm clouds began to form over Western Michigan, much like a panther ready to strike its prey.

Toast and Danimal were unloading their steeds as our intrepid Hero, the Sharkman, rode into the parking lot. All Black rode in as Stroker and Stingray arrived by car and began to get ready. Occasional Minion and Team Taylor rider Ryan also pulled in as the crowd began to grow.

Jo-MaMa rode in from Portage and Stryker Guy and new Minion, “The Don” came in from the north. Welcome “The Don” to the mighty Minion Nation!

Dutch then rode in completing the official start count.

As these twelve brave Minions gathered for the start of the KK-TdG this past weekend, major storm clouds continued to form just north of the Galesburg Middle School Parking lot and over, what the Minions have come to know as their field of dreams around Gull Lake. They would not be denied their start to the ride, though Stingray, logical as ever, asked if a southern route was going to be considered as lightening had been predicted.

Lightening?

After giving consideration to a southern route, it was determined there were more areas of safety to the north if lightening struck, and the Sharkman assured everyone that that would not happen, so the Mighty Minion Nation clicked in and headed north past the Klutch.

Stryker Guy set the early pace alongside Sharkman as the peloton moved into the darkening clouds. Gazelle Girl and then Falcon joined on as the train moved steadily up 36th Street making the number of riders 14. It was then that Falcon assured the Sharkman that the rain would hold off for at least two hours as the first sound of thunder was heard in the distance and the sky continued to darken in front of the riders. Of course, Falcon is a pilot and knows the weather like the back of his hand…..or does he? After all, wasn’t it Falcon who was the only rider to show up in a lightening and rain storm a couple of seasons ago?

Falcon led our hero out to the honorary first sprint with the assistance of Danimal, who had cancelled his intended ride of Barry-Roubaix due to the threat of rain.

Threat of rain?

As Sharkman took the sprint and did his count at the G Ave crossing, the first lightening bolt shot across the sky in front of the riders, lighting up the dark storm clouds to the north! Confusion hit the peloton as no one seemed to know whether to ride into the storm or to retreat. Sharkman called out that everyone should head back to the Klutch as a second bolt of lightening shot across the sky to the west.

Sharkman took his second sprint of the day (the same one he had just won) as he high tailed it back south on 36th St. Meanwhile, some of the riders, Stryker Guy, The Don, Falcon, and others chose to just head to the safety of home and rode into the storm. The entire peloton came apart and scrambled in different directions to seek safety from the lightening ahead. The Mighty Minion Nation scattered like cockroaches running for cover when the lights go on!

Forming his own lightening bolt, Dutch was not going to take any chances and put the pedal down as he headed back. After giving the honorary sprint to our hero for the second time this day, Dutch was moving so fast he was on his second Kup of Koffee by the time the Minions got back to the safety of the Klutch!

(We may have to change Dutch’s name to Lightening Boy or Bolt! We knew he was fast, but faster than lightening? Whoa! Lightening can be one hell of a motivator, eh, Dutch?!)

This past Saturday’s ride was a bit like the Alfred Lord Tennyson poem about the Charge of the Light Brigade. We’ve taken some liberties here, as we review Saturday’s short but epic edition of the KK-TdG. Hopefully, Lord Tennyson can forgive us for this from the grave…..

The Charge of the Mighty Minion Nation!

Half a league onward,

All in the valley of Death

Rode the 14 Minions.

"Forward, the Mighty Minion Nation!"

Charge for the lightening!" Sharkman said:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the Mighty Minion Nation!

"Forward, you Minions!"

Was there a man dismay'd?

Not tho' the Minions knew

Someone had blunder'd:

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do and die:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the Mighty Minion Nation.

Thunder to right of them,

Thunder to left of them,

Lightening in front of them

Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with rain and hail,

Boldly they rode and well,

Into the jaws of Death,

Into the mouth of Hell

Rode the Mighty Minion Nation!

Flash'd all their spokes bare,

Flash'd as they turn'd pedals in air,

Chain rings purring there,

Charging at the teeth of the storm, while

All the world wonder'd:

Plunged in the rain and hail,

Right thro' the line they broke;

Rider and Bike

Reel'd from the rain and stroke

Shatter'd and sunder'd.

Then they rode back, but not

Not all the starters…...

When can their glory fade?

O the wild charge they made!

All the world wondered.

Honor the charge they made,

Honor the Mighty Minion Nation,

Noble riders all!

When our Minions returned to the Klutch, Luann was there to greet them, as well as a number of locals who wondered why the quick return, until the lightening began to flash around the Klutch. Gazelle Girl, B-Rod, Toast, Sharkman and All Black were all that was left of the brave 14 who attacked the storm. All Black and Sharkman made calls to their respective spouses to procure rides home, as the lightening didn’t seem to want abate. Stingray returned to the Klutch after loading his bike and offered the Sharkman a ride home. Lava Girl, who didn’t seem too worried when Sharkman called to say he was O.K. (as matter of fact, the rain and lightening hadn’t started at the Cove yet and she wondered why he was calling) was pleased that Stingray was giving our hero a ride home.

So, Mother Nature won this round, but there is always next week!

The Sharkman announced that he will be gone the next three weeks! This is a first for our intrepid hero! Yes, the peloton will have to go on without their old Shark! There will be no email updates going out for the two weeks, so the following schedule will apply and due to the morning darkness, the time will change accordingly in October;

This Saturday September 25, 2010 – Launch Time – still 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

Saturday, October 2, 2010 – NEW Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Saturday, October 9, 2010 – Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

Sharkman hopes to be back to ride on Saturday, October 16, 2010 weather permitting.
Fall is the best time to ride and the season is quickly coming to an end, so don’t miss anymore rides! You'll regret it this winter!